I’d be glad to have less stuff if that meant that I’d enjoy what I had a little more.
I used to get a thrill out of the smallest stuff: a new issue of a magazine, the shows on PBS on Saturday afternoon, a simple, meandering drive in the country. But a new magazine now feels more like an obligation than a joy; the programming on PBS seems so irrelevant to my life (like it wasn’t when I was in college?); a drive in the country just means bouncing madly from radio station to radio station looking for some programming which doesn’t make my skin crawl. I buy books and don’t read them for months; I buy CDs and listen to the first three songs; I make plans for an afternoon of much-needed rest and relaxation, then find myself so twitchy and bored that I go to work halfway though it. markhasty.com/archives/2004/03/04/creative-deprivation/
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On Creative Deprivation http://www.simpleliving.org/Archives/TreasCeleb/TOCGiftGiv.html
Several years ago, Colman McCarthy's article about "Creative Deprivation" appeared in The Washington Post. McCarthy's belief that "children have little need for marketplace temptings" still holds true today. The only difference is that the marketplace gurus work harder at convincing our children that they "need" that toy, that article of clothing, that new computer program. These marketers are skilled, pervasive, and in the long run, destructive to family harmony. There seems little recourse (other than heading for the hills) than to meet them with equally pervasive tactics.
McCarthy wrote:
By definition, to creatively deprive children means to keep their senses and minds free of material goods that overwhelm them, the kind soon to be washing in from the immense commercial ocean of Christmas. How can children not be emotionally drowned when wave after wave of toys rolls over them?
How can a child have a sense of value for any one toy when so many are given at once? How can the potential of one gift be explored when the attraction of so many others is pulling? The whisper of newness becomes a deafening roar. It is hard to imagine how this surfeit of Christmas toys can lead to new levels of playfulness.
It may sometimes feel as if you are standing alone holding your finger in the dike. But there are two factors that can help you. One is a supportive community of like-minded people. The other is to become more involved in offering alternatives.
While a computer game, for example, may stimulate a child for a time, eventually, it can be mind-numbing. On the other hand, a walk in the park with corn kernels in your pocket and your child in tow, can be a rewarding and wondrous event for both of you. (Not to mention that it allows you to get some air and exercise.) Before bedtime, reading about whatever creatures you happened to meet there prolongs and enriches the experience. Drawing or writing about the walk can put the proverbial icing on the cake.
Einstein once said that imagination is of more value than knowledge. It is good to remember these words when raising children. They are born with imagination in abundance. Some commercial gadgets and toys can stimulate, of course, but so can a walk in the park, helping to build and maintain a bird feeder, and so on. A well stocked dress-up box can be the greatest gift to the imagination. (Adults like them, too!)
Creative deprivation also teaches children that there are limits - to resources, to what they can ask for, and to what you can and will give. Certainly, debt-ridden and anxious parents are not the gifts that children want. They want and need your attention and love. They want you.
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The thinking behind creative simplicity in the 70s and 80s, perhaps, was ahead of its time. There is no question that the lifestyles described are necessary and welcome.
Creative deprivation -- the idea is that if you have treats less often, they will be more special to you and you'll appreciate them more.
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Economist E.F. Schumacher, in Small Is Beautiful, "Only by a reduction of needs can one promote a genuine reduction in those tensions which are the ultimate causes of strife and war."
"Creative deprivation" for children makes good sense for adults as well. It keeps the senses and mind free of material goods that overwhelm us, in order to have room to experience creative uses of the imagination.
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When our first child was a newborn, I came across the notion that parents use "creative deprivation" in raising their children. The idea appealed to me, having myself been raised in a small, isolated town surrounded by a large extended family. Although I never had much to do, my childhood was rich with relationships and direct contact with nature, contact that I'd never have sought out if I hadn't been "bored, there's nothing to do." With my own family, my husband and I chose to live in a place where our children could walk to school, walk to their friends' houses, walk to their music lessons, walk to the library. Now that they're older, they bicycle, too. When they wanted to take on an activity that would have required considerable driving, we talked about whether it was worth it, and frequently decided that it wasn't.
Our children will not be hurt if they are treated as if they are not the center of the universe. I think we should spend time with our children, create with them, cook with them, play basketball and bicycle with them. But drive them for hours each week from one activity to the next? No way. It's been easy for us to say no to them because we willingly set those same limits on ourselves. And frequently there is a positive opportunity in saying no to car travel. We're not going to do that far-flung orchestra, but who would you like to play with right here in town? We won't drive to the Jersey shore, but how about a week-long family bicycle trip to the ocean? Limiting car travel with our children means that they probably will miss some wonderful activities and opportunities; but it can also help them gain the confidence and skills to find and add to the unlimited richness in the local and near at hand. http://www.friendsjournal.org/contents/2002/09september/feature2.html
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A balanced, down-to-earth, Christ-inspired simplicity of family lifestyle. This is what we call "creative deprivation."
--where luxuries remain as luxuries, and necessities are properly provided for, as the Lord would have it. The quantity and quality of food, clothing, shelter, and other human facilities, including energy, should become the objects of critical discernment. Healthy food need not be the "best' food, decent clothing need not be the most expensive, a comfortable home need not be the envy of the neighbors, and energy conservation can become second nature to us all.
The same goes for forms of recreation and relaxation. Back-to-nature activities are more healthy and creative. Ways of celebrating significant events like birthdays, weddings, Christmas, and New Year can be more simple, more creative, and much less expensive. The amount of money that went up in firecracker smoke this past New Year’s Eve, among the rich as well as among the poor, and for hours and hours on end, simply depressed me rather than ushered me joyfully into the New Year. Balance and moderation were far from the consciousness of people. http://eapi.admu.edu.ph/eapr003/ruben.htm
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And I thought Creative Deprivation was something new! (Click to see the original one that has been going around.) Creative Deprivation --
At a yard sale I attended, a ten year old kid was barely visible behind a table pile with GI Joe paraphernalia. Along with about 30 Joe dolls, he was selling his Joe tanks, Joe Bazookas, Joe Rocket belts, and Joe you name it.
What struck me was what contempt he seemed to have for the stuff--he was practically giving it away. It was clear that this huge collection, which must have cost several hundred dollars to buy, was not an immense bore to him. When I commented to his parents about the good deals at their son's table, they just rolled their eyes as if to say, "That's kids for you."
Increasingly, I see this trend toward excess in children's lives. A friend, who has one child, says his son is so bombarded with toys from friends and relatives that "I don't tell him to clean his room--I tell him to shovel it out."
While we, as kids, might have been devastated to lose a favorite toy, kids today don't even bother to keep track of their stuff. When a friend found an $80 hand-held video game, in his house, he was unable to learn whose it was. Six months later, the ten-year-old owner spotted her toy during a visit. She casually remarked, "Oh, I was wondering where I left that."
And the excess problem is not just toys. The average kid spends more than four hours parked in front of a TV each day. If there's nothing good to watch on TV (or cable), they have an unlimited supply of video movies and games.
As a result of all this stuff and stimulation, kids regard overload as a normal condition. Anything less--a walk in the woods, making cookies, or sitting in a classroom listening to a teacher--is boring.
In contrast, using a concept I call "creative deprivation" is, in my view, a healthier way to raise children.
The idea behind creative deprivation is that every event should have space around it, so that the event can stand out and be appreciated. A simple example is a frame around a picture, which provides a space to make it stand out from the busy wallpaper.
Until this century, the space occurred naturally. Entertainment and material goods were hard to come by, so they were appreciated when they came along. A child cherished his few toys, and music was a special event, because it could only be heard when musicians were assembled.
The challenge of modern life is that we have to actively create the space. With mass production, toys are cheap enough to swamp even poorer families. With TV, videotapes, and video games, flashy entertainment can come into every home 24 hours a day.
That's why the best parents understand that their kids can have too much of a good thing. They place limitations on the stuff and stimulation. They are tough enough to slow down the flow of goodies.
Often, people think we refuse to a avalanche our kids with toys because we're tightwads. But saving money is not the main reason. I just feel there's nothing sadder than a jaded eight year old.
Conversely, it's delightful to see a kid thrilled by a simple pleasure.
During a rare trip to a mall a few years ago, , we popped into an ice-cream shop and ordered a junior cone for each child, which they consumed in complete silence, savoring every drip. I was very proud of my brood and their ability to enjoy these little treats.
Many parents, seeing their children appreciate junior cones, would buy them cones during each trip to the mall. Soon, seeing the kids enthusiasm waning, they would assume they must wow them with banana splits. When those no longer produce the desired effect, they would move up to the jumbo deluxe sundae..and so on, until the kids became impossible to please.
But I see diminished appreciation as a barometer that shows when kids have had too much. Instead of moving up to the banana split, I decrease the frequency of the junior cones.
While it's true I don't raise my kids this way to save money, saving is a natural by-product of creative deprivation. Not only do I save on the constant expense of the ever-increasing amount of stuff and stimulation, but when I do treat the kids, they get the same wow for far less money.
Creative deprivation does have a few rules. Limit the things kids don't need, but don't limit the things they do need--such as good nutrition and parenting attention. Second, provide them with alternatives. Our kids have their own "office" in my office where they do artwork, a tree house they can build on with scrap wood, a playhouse in an attic, and a selection of Legos and other toys that demand creativity. If you limit passive entertainment, kids eventually get beyond the boredom and begin to be creative.
Incidentally, this insight isn't new. About 2500 years ago, the Chinese philosopher Lao-tzu wrote:
Guard the senses
And life is ever full...
Always be busy
And life is beyond hope.
Finally, creative deprivation works for adults, too. If you seem to need increasingly expensive thrills and gadgets to keep from being bored, I suggest you step off the merry-go-round. Though this might seem more boring at first, eventually you'll come to enjoy a game of checkers with your nine-year-old or trying a new bread recipe.
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That most of us are considered poor is no disgrace, but does us credit; for, as the mind is weakened, so it is strengthened bya frugal life." Minucius Felix, third century A.D.
