ive decided to finally post up an entry..it's been like how many freaken days..guess i haven't the energy i use to have..*sihg* guess the real reason is that i feel so gone sometimes..like so out of it..(the journey countinues) there is no end..dat's all i really can say..but on a good note my 21st is coming up reaaaaaaaaaaaaly soon..the day i get STUPID DUMB N HHPYY drunk...nehhh maybe jest a sip or two and a night or even day with some friends..nothing too fancy..hmm i fina gonna get me a car soon n this time i get to drive my firneds and family around which means more responsibility..*ughh*..lol it's reall late and i can't sleeeeeeeeep...well gnite

sonZ of female dogs
Mood:  spacey
i take that friendship talk back because obviously the ones ihave now..or people i hang out with do not define real friendship. iono if it's just me but im feeling really bummed out about things. i have a month left of school but i really REALLY need to think twice about who i hang out with. now i have to make a decision but lost all that's left of me. dump the ppl i hang out with n have this guilty conscience of having used them or stick with them and forever kill my soul. wat to do a life time worth of friends or a clean slate?? daddy i need your guidance..i use to stay away from those things until i lsot you..now im so confused and out of it. *sighhh* i need youuuuuuuuuuuuu..

whoopteedoo
Mood:  happy
sorry it's been solong since i wrote.my fingers got tired of typing 1834098 papers for school. ;P well just yesterday i got my driver's liscence and also a seasonal part-time job. i rarely work but it's something to do on weekends. it's starting to rain and my mood is well the same except i feel ickier. yup life's pretty good. i have good friends and family. nice thought to end the day.

"wat not to think is the best way to feel"

it's almost time to give out my thanks..of course i always have to thank my family for being whothey are and helpin me along the way throught tough times. i know we've had our ups and downs but i love you always.<3 friends you know i wouldn'tbe who i am if it werent for them. they know how to have a good time but also stick to the real important things such as bonding n helping each other out when we need ya. "Real one always stay but the fake never leaves an impression on our hearts"

gracious oh me oh my
Mood:  rushed
fellow ppls online..i sincerely would like to apologize for the delay...ive lived without the 9 lives.n now im willing and able to share my day with u..

a friend these days is considered people that know u in and out..but with one exception..pathelogical liers aren't accepted in my agenda..cuz why? hmm.ill tell you why..there's this quote ive heard many times.." it's best to be hated for who u are then to fucken sugar coat everything you say!!" dat's why..i aint thee one to want to say somethign to someone's face but instead i want so i can get some sense of realness not fakenss..anywho..life's not fair..there is one thing that will put a really semi-period of a time smile on my face..was thinking about gettin an ipod nano and all the lil acessories..perhaps if im still considered good this year..santa might be able to bring me one!! =P

my life so far..
Mood:  irritated
goin to skool full-time..i had to handle so much today..meeting and introducing myself to classmates. iono but i get really nervous because i try to think of something that's interesting about me but nothing comes to mind. sometimes i overthink way too much that it gets me into trouble..like if i were to do a presentation..a day before id practice over and over and til the day comes..i forget everything!! usually wen i feel like i haven't put out that i blame myself and it sucks cuz i have real potential to really become an interesting person i just hold back a lot. i have this fear of "being found out" that once a person knows the real me..i feel like they think im beneeath them and im weak..=/ anyways..im so emotional today..i wanna vent out by screaming at the top of my lungs and then maybe have a good cry or two. anything that helps me relive stress. a good talk with someone who listens to me. music calms me down and makes me think of other things. (sigh) life is so hard especially when you feel like u're the only one in the world with a problem.

sorry for the FOB talk.haha

a slap of reality
Mood:  accident prone
Topic: Prenatal Visits
You ever wonder when life turns to you and says hey it's time to wake yo ass up n get one!! hehe..my god i never noticed but everything around me means something. just last couple of days ive experienced an almost life and death situation. my trip with some of the family for water rafting in Sacramento.

It's ease and amazing scenery full of mother's nature took the ignorance away from the eyes that were once blinded. Horrificly enuff I decided to take this
once and a lifetime opportunity and WOman up!!my auntie,uncle,lil sister, and two cuzzins were on one raft and my uncle's side of the family were on another. We passed thru major whirpools of water called the Satan, Satan's son, and the most scariest of them all...the hospital bed. That was where me and my sister Van was in the front paddling. We went head on with this major current and i almost barely couldn't catch my breath cuz i fell inwards!! i thought this was it but surprisingly enuff i made it and so did my sister. we all had fun got wet and were tired at the end of the day. the sad part was when it was over and a man nearly drowned..He was sent to the hospital and a helicoptor was on its way. I have no clue on if he lived or not..just pray that he does. anyways..that's a slap of reality.

oh here's a list of what i ate today..no need to read it's a bore..lol
what i ate today=)
two cups of rice
slices of hotdogs and spam
a peach
drank some orange,banana,and pineapple juice
leftover pho (really spicy and greasy)



Water raft trip-link(takes a while to load so be patient)
http://www.raft.org/pics/raft/sfar/sfar20060812lgKim/

make way..
Mood:  celebratory
man it's been so long since i wrote in here.lots of things changed since the last year. there was school..finals were such a killer..barely passed..n prayed id get skoo done with. which i did.um let's see summers been fun while it last..chilled with so many ppl..met so many wonderful new ppl. and well now it's over and school has finally come once again. i wont forget all the lil ppl that has came into my life. marion's moving and goin to a different school.tien i didn't get to see her once during summer skool. made a couple a new friends.one being the most greenest..;) haha..won't see it for a long time since im working on gettin a job still n passin my drug test..hmmmmmmm.wat else?? so many more memories..i can show a few pix of it but a lil later..for now this will do.hhehe uhh that's all i can say.

oOooOo
Mood:  happy
oh it has been so long since i last wrote in hea..gosh..well ive been trying to keep up my grades.studying for finals..and all of it paid off..well for the most part..at least i pass all my classes..(thought i wasn't going to pass one) but hey..ye today i chilled with my skool buddies..huong,jacob, and carlo..we were suppose to go ice skating in walnut creek but it seemed a lil whack for just 15 dollars..so we decided to go eat at a mexican restaurant..very nice n festive!! my tummy is so stuff..prolly will last me til tomorrow!! haha..huong n i were catching up the days we missed out on. we barely kik dat much..but yea it was gud talking to my breastest friend from 8th grade.den after eating..we sort of departed ways..me n huong went to the mall..n she bought a cute jacket..but for me i decided not to spend so much on my credit card..gotta stop doing that! haha..gotta find me a job soon so i can start payin ppls. back..n ye..well dat's all fornow..meryy x-mass everybody!!

feeling like.
Mood:  incredulous
tired, somewhat i feel like i have a lot of unfinished business. with family, friends, oh and of course school. everything i love, need, and want is on hold cuz of me. ive been procrastinating and questioning my reasons. The reason to keep going, understand one self and hoping for a miracle. My family is really struggling. ish that time of year now where i ruminate about life. the weather usually makes me feel that way. im getting sick,sad, and unsure of myself (again). Time is the only cure of me getting thru this. I feel like i have no one to help me. so that's why..Grrrr

Happy Thanx DAy!
Mood:  cheeky
we all know dat giving thannx ish wen u wanna give a person gratitude. so first and formost i wanna give out some thanx to my ppls out der! Ain't it nice to hear thanx once a while?? to know u're at least appreciated..well back to my saying thanx.

Parents- they gave me life. raised me n have given me the necessities to succeed and live my life. my dad ( R.I.P.love u forever ) who is my role model for never giving up, working to make a better living for both families..*that's another story* loved us even tho u never expressed it..i can tell already..and for just being what a father shud be.It wont ever be the same without you..but i know deep inside u cared for us n i just want to acknowledge for everythang u did for me n for the rest of the family!! we miss you.

Friends- for every laughs,cries,moments u guys were der every step of the way.things wudn't be fun without you.

taking every day as my last..

im glad i got to know each one of you b.c life shudn't be wasted on lonliness, it shud be with many ppls. to share.to enjoy. to care.and to love

Other den dat..Happy Thanksgiving Everybody!! eat, eat,eat n be fat n happy..