DANNY: I know it seems strange to viewers that Paul and I knew eachother for only a week before I got to New Orleans. It's just that the minute we met, there was this energy. In the first hour of talking to him, I felt like I knew him. We hung out for 3 days straight (That's when I took those pictures I put up in my room). It was right before I left for New Orleans that I said, "I love you." I know that sounds nuts. I told Paul, "Look, I know you're going to think this is weird, but I feel like I love you." I couldn't believe I was saying it. He said, "I don't think that's weird, because I feel the same way."
Having just met Paul, I didn't know how much energy I wanted to put into the relationship. I called him and told him I wasn't sure if I wanted to make anything serious out of it. But talking to him made me realize he was really into me. And then, when he visited me, that just made me realize how special this was. He was willing to come down to New Orleans, and put his career on the line. Every day that passed, I got more and more into him. He ended up making four visits. And we talked on the phone about four times a week.
The reason I'm so into Paul is his personality. How to describe Paul? He's got a lot of energy. He tries to be positive about everything. For me, that's really important. I just don't want to be around negative people anymore. He has a lot of the same interests as I do. He likes to camp and spend time outdoors. He's the most genuine person you'll ever meet. We're opposite in a sense that he's really open about how he feels, and I'm really reserved. But, being around him, I'm a lot more open. His openess wears off on me.
We have little things in common, like music and clothes, though Paul's preppier than I am. He's a total Abercrombie & Fitch guy. I hate Abercrombie & Fitch, but he gave me a bunch of sweaters from there that I love. It looks like that's all I wear on the show!
When Paul came to New Orleans, we'd close ourselves off into a cocoon. We'd stay in the room together and just cut out the roommates and everything else in life, except eachother. Paul liked all the roommates on a surface level, but honestly, when he came to visit I was the only person to whom he paid attention. Actually, the truth is, Paul thought some of my roommates were ridiculously spoiled brats. He's a little older than they are, and he just didn't want to be around them. Especially Jamie. He likes Kelley and Julie and he likes Melissa to a degree, but she too got kind of annoying. Paul was coming into a situation he couldn't stand. That meant a lot to me.
We did a lot of running from the cameras when he was there. At first he was really nervous. The second time, he relaxed. The last time, we were used to the cameras, but we were sick of thhem. We ran off to a hotel room and no one knew. It was great.
If I regret anything, it will be what Paul sees in the Mardi Gras episode. I regret all of Mardi Gras. The only creeping I did was when I got busted making out with that guy in the confessional. It was one of the party fouls, a big oops. Paul will see that, and that's pretty bad.
The minute I got off the plane from New Orleans, Paul picked me up. I'll admit I was nervous. We had not spent that much time together, and i knew this was going to be "the test." We went on the road together for three weeks. We went to Arkansas to visit Kelley. We went to my parents' house. They love Paul. My dad will sit there and talk to Paul all day long. He loves all the military stuff. He talks to Paul more than he talks to me. After the trip, I felt twice as much for him as I did before.
I live with him now. It couldn't be any better. We watch a lot of movies and spend a lot of time on the beach. We go camping a lot. Definately, I was very nervous about moving in with him. But I've never felt better. Since the show, we've learned a lot about eachother. Certainly, we've learned some bad things. He realized it's hard to pull a lot out of me and that there are certain things I just don't talk about. I know I have to overcome this.
There's been a lot of press requests for both of us. Most people want me to talk about "the Paul issue." We just want to lay low. Except for THE ADVOCATE, I basically turned everything down. THE ADVOCATE is a big gay magazine, and I felt I wanted to speak to that sector of society. I felt I could do that magazine, and be done with it. I don't want to do anything else until Paul is out of the military.
Paul just wants THE REAL WORLD to go away. I think he felt that when I came home, the show was over. I don't think he realized it was only just beginning. Yeah, he likes watching the show. I'm always complimenting him! He likes seeing that.
PAUL: You always think love at first sight is never going to happen. But the minute I met Danny, my chest started hurting. I wasn't having a heart attack, so I guess it was love. It was like I saw him, and I knew I'd be in it with him for good.
What's the best thing about Danny? Everything. A minute does not go by when I don't think about him. Actually, twelve seconds don't go by when I don't think about him. (Yes, we actually figured it out once!)
Before he moved to New Orleans, we were like, "Oh, it'll be fine. We can not see eachother for five months." Yeah, right. Five minutes after Danny left on the plane, I missed him terribly. It's true.
I was scared as hell when I first went to visit him. I drove by the house in the taxicab about three times. I was so freaked by the house. It was lit up like a Christmas tree. So I told the driver: "Drop me off at the drugstore up the street." I called Danny from a phone booth. He was like, "Come over. It will be fine." I hid behind a tree and he came out. Then, the cameras did. At first, I was defensive. When the cameras first surrounded me, I was going out of my mind. We had to break the rules, and have a sit-down with the directors and producers. Danny was holding me when we were talking. I wasn't comfortable at all, and I was really scared. But I decided to put my trust in the crew. I asked them to empathize with my decision not to show my face on camera.
I did not want to put any pressure on Danny to stay faithful. I didn't want to put rules on him. But I told him I loved him. I told him I wouldn't screw around. I said, "As far as I'm concerned, you're it, written in stone."
"Enough said," was his response. "You don't have to say anymore." He echoed my feelings. It was so meaningful. To have someone you're head over heels in love with say the same thing back! There's nothing I can't say to him. There's no hiding. I feel comfortable telling him anything. He knows more about me than my mom does.
Going into the REAL WORLD house was weird. Everything there was going a mile a minute. Camera crews make life go fast. I spent most of my time trying to get away from that atmosphere. It was too busy for me.
I know the roommates thought it was bad, but we couldn't keep our hands off eachother. My hands started tingling if I din't touch him for an hour! I go into Danny withdrawal. Our carrying on is pathetic, but we're just pathetically in love.
To be on THE REAL WORLD, you have to be willing to be displayed. I did not go there to be displayed. I went there to see the person I love. My life is personal to me. It's also a matter of keeping my job in the military. I want to serve my country. I want to get out on my own accord without them telling me to get out because I'm a homosexual. I want to do my time. Not because I owe it to them, but because I want to.
I don't expect the military to change overnight. Change doesn't happen overnight. I don't know if seeing Danny and me on television together will do anything good for the world. I guess I feel that the more gay people on television, the better- especially different kinds of gay people.
I guess if I want to tell people watching the show anything, it's that true love is out there. Love at first sight happens. When it's right, you have to go for it. Jump right in, feet first, and do a lot of dog paddling- then you'll know how to swim.
My friends used to tell me I was too picky, that I'd end up an old man on a porch with my hound and a shotgun all alone. Well, ha! I beat them at their game. All those people who don't believe in the concept of true love- they're the ones who'll be sitting on the porch.
DANNY'S SONG by Julie (For Danny & Paul)
VERSE ONE
Walking down this lonely beach I feel the sand
beneath my feet and think of you.
Wind blows warm across my face and slow my fingers
gently trace the way you do.
I hear your voice. It's so close to me now. I see your face
every time I turn around.
CHORUS
I love you with everything I have and all I am.
No one else but we ever needs to understand.
You paint a portrait of me with your life and
with your hand.
I have faith in our love.
VERSE TWO
Time pushes you away, but the time moves closer
every day that I'll be with you.
I see my future in you. It's in everything you say and do.
No hateful words will ever kill this for me.
In my life your love is all the world I see
REPEAT CHORUS