Weeks past, fall turned to winter and soon I found myself engrossed in my schoolwork and the books my roommate Jill had with her. She was a complete treat to live with. Though we weren’t exactly the same, we filled in the missing traits of the other and coexisted beautifully.

Jill was the kind of mutant that didn’t judge you on your powers or your origin; she simply enlightened you with her wit and kindness. Similar to the mutant Rogue’s power she absorbed energy, memories and power with tactile contact. She was shy at times but grew more confident from my outspokenness. In turn, I found myself using more tact when I spoke instead of jumping at every opportunity to speak my mind.

I had grown comfortable with the lifestyle of being a student there. But with my comfort came a growing sense of curiosity. There were plenty of male mutants around and until then I had just seen them as friends and nothing more. Now I realized that I had never really experienced love from another mutant. Jill showed me friendship and the kind of love a sister gave—but not soul entwining love.

My dreams became increasingly important to me. Gambit and Logan appeared in them almost every night. I still felt déjà vu whenever Gambit was near me and I felt myself coming closer to answers as my dreams became longer and more logical. Finally, I realized how much I needed to feel passion from another mutant. Loneliness began to consume me and I longed for companionship.

It was a few days before Christmas when Logan approached me in my dorm room. I was reading Hamlet, a book I had neglected reading for years but finally found the time to read, when I heard his undeniably “Logan” knock at the door. “Come in,” I said sweetly, dog-earing the page I was on.

His intense brown eyes peered back at me from the door and I smiled from my upper bunk bed. “What’s up?” I asked, sitting up in my bed and straightening my T-shirt. It was late evening and I was ready for bed, Jill was visiting a friend a few doors down, leaving me alone.

“Just came to say good night,” he replied, his raspy voice caressing my ears and making my heart pump faster. “You haven’t visited in a while,” I tried to make conversation, wanting to prolong his stay. “I know, I’ve been really busy, I’m sorry.” I loved the way he spoke, directly to the point and without any stalling.

“I suppose I can forgive you,” I winked at him and laughed slightly. A slight dimple dented his cheek as he chuckled, walking closer to my bunk and finally leaning against its wooden post. “Something on your mind?”

I could tell he was thinking about something, his eyes were avoiding me and his foot was tapping the floor nervously. He shrugged, reaching up to run a hand through his shaggy dark hair. My eyes stayed on his hand, knowing that beneath the smooth skin were deadly adamantine claws.

“Just thinking a lot, ya know?” The rather vague question hit home with me and I nodded fervently. “Definitely,” I replied, moving closer to the edge of the bunk and resting my elbows on the wooden frame of it. “Anything specifically?”

“Just lonely, I guess,” I saw a hint of sadness, almost longing in his eyes as he spoke, “us mutants have to get used to that…but I’m sick of it.” The uncharacteristic words clutched my brain and squeezed it until words tumbled out of my mouth. “No kidding,” I sighed deeply, feeling the exact same emotions he was at that time.

His brown eyes found mine and I felt my voice catch in my throat. Nothing killed my calm like his gaze and I knew not even that Cajun charmer Gambit could make me churn inside as he did. “I’m lonely, too,” I managed, my lower lip trembling a bit as my eyes looked over his rugged features.

Logan nodded slowly, his hands clutching the railing I was resting against. I glanced at his hands and saw his knuckles turning white. He noticed too and relaxed his grip as his cheeks flushed slightly. “Damn holiday season, all the mistletoe and cheer makes it worse.” I chuckled slightly, shaking my head a little to get the blonde hairs that had wandered onto my face back onto my head.

“So did you come here to say good night or make me play psychiatrists?” I asked with a smile, cocking an eyebrow at him curiously. Logan shrugged again, his mysterious and aloof attitude shining through. “You’re the only person I can tell this to, really, I’d tell Jean but then I’m sure Scott would have to burst in and pretend like he has something I don’t.”

My heart clenched at the thought of Dr. Grey, I knew about his feelings for her but also acknowledged her deep love for Scott Summers. “He does have something you don’t,” I replied coolly, licking my lips to keep them from growing dry. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” I chuckled, “subtlety.” Logan cracked a smile and I watched his chest jump with his laughing with growing interest. “But you have something that he definitely lacks.” I felt my hormones boosting my confidence, I needed some ass and he was the closest thing containing testosterone.

“And what’s that?” Logan’s smooth voice made me want to shiver but I held it in. I lowered my face so that I was centimeters from him, opening my mouth I glanced from his perfect lips to his eyes and back to his lips again, “sex appeal.” The look in his eyes was indescribable, lusty and happy and affectionate.

I felt my cheeks beginning to tingle from my profuse blushing and I took my head a few inches away, embarrassed. He sensed my self-shock and chuckled softly, watching me squirm. “I’m sorry, that was rather candid,” I stuttered, covering my mouth with an intense feeling of self-loathing.

“Candid…but nice,” Logan replied, tipping his head to the side slightly. That incessant burning in my chest intensified and I wanted to have him right then and there. I was going crazy, my need for love was taking over my sensibilities and I tried hard to relax and recompose myself. “I really need some sleep,” I groaned, running two hands through my careless blonde hair.”

“No, you really need somethin’ else…and I know exactly what that something is.” That damn heat was there again, his voice had that effect on me. I lowered my face back to his and smirked, signaling for him to continue. I was expecting words but instead was surprised with his lips coming for mine.

I panicked but knew that I would have to be out of my mind to stop him. I knew he liked me as a friend but never once thought he had an attraction greater than that towards me. I was a student, and he was man—but just then he was a boy and I was a girl…experiencing our first kiss together.

The most vivid memory of that kiss was the care and tact with which he kissed. His right hand reached up and held my head to his, pressuring my face against his. His lips were like nothing else, soft and loving yet warm with a sort of fiery passion that I’d never felt before. The radiant confidence that he exuded showed through his kiss and the next thing I felt was his tongue.

I melted against him when I felt that first hint of his tongue, the taste of it only suggesting itself as he kissed me. He tasted like heat—as crazy and dizzying, as it was exciting and enticing. I suppose heat could be mistaken for cheap beer but I wasn’t complaining and thankfully neither was he. My mind cursed that stupid bed railing for being between us, I wanted to rest against him but it just wasn’t possible.

Finally, our tongues touched for a glorious second and soon mine was coming for his again…hungry for that distinctive tingling sensation. I felt him smile into the kiss and my throat vibrated with a soft moan as his fingers dug gently into the back of my head. Nothing compared to the satisfaction and hope that I felt when we finally broke the kiss.

We locked into each other’s gaze, frightened to say or do anything else. Logan, being the stronger individual he was, let his right hand drop from my head and gently touch my cheek. I sighed at the motion and put my left hand on his right and pressed his warm, clammy hand against my face. “Good night Kayla,” he whispered, winking at me as he took his hand back. I smiled and glanced down nervously once before looking back up into his face. “Good night Logan.”