Chapter 6
A gentle rapping sounded against the door of her office.
"Yes, who is it?"
Slowly the door opened and a beautiful young face filled with uncertainty came
around the corner.
"Dr. Peltier?"
"Yes….oh, yes…..Miss Lane. Please, come in…come in."
"I wasn’t sure if you would remember me."
"Of course, I do. It was only last night we talked."
"You’re right….I guess it just seems a lot longer than that – so much
has happened."
"I think that answers the question I was going to pose but I’ll ask
anyway. How is Philip, if I may call him that?"
"He’s…….he’s ….just the way you said he would be."
"Ahhhh, well, I’m sorry to hear that but it is, for lack of a better way
to say it, normal behavior considering everything. And, how are you?"
"I’m okay…most of the time. I’m afraid I lost it this morning."
"Lost it? I’m sorry…I don’t know this American expression."
"Oh, it means I didn’t stay emotionally strong. Philip’s best friend,
Shawn, came over to have breakfast with me in the hotel and the minute I saw him
at the door I began crying uncontrollably. I couldn’t stop for the longest
time. Philip had gone this morning before I woke up so at least I didn’t get
emotional in front of him."
"This Shawn is a friend of yours, too?"
"Yes, he was one of the first friends I made when I moved to Salem. He’s
known Philip since they were in kindergarten. I wanted to let him know what to
expect with Philip’s mood swings – especially the anger so he’d make some
allowances for it."
"And, maybe - you wanted to be with someone who would let you cry and be
understanding?"
Chloe nodded and cast her eyes downward.
"Good. It’s what you needed, Miss Lane."
"Please, call me Chloe."
"All right, Chloe. I admit I was concerned when you left last night that
you weren’t emotionally prepared as much as I would have liked you to be about
dealing with Philip. You need to release your feelings at times, Chloe. To keep
them in is just as bad for you as it is for Philip and it does neither of you
any good. I’m glad his friend was there for you. I would assume Philip is
quiet….morose….loses his temper at unexpected times?"
"Exactly, Dr. Peltier, but, …"
"..but?"
"I look in his eyes afterward and he’s there….Philip, the one I know…is
there. It’s like he’s trapped behind some wall he’s put up and he can’t
find the key to a door to let himself out."
"That’s a very good way to describe it. I hope I’m not being too
invasive but I gather from what you said, you stayed with him last night?"
"Yes, but not without a struggle from Philip at first. He was determined he
didn’t need anyone…..that he wanted to be alone. I remembered your telling
me that he shouldn’t be allowed to isolate himself and I was determined to
stay with him."
"Mon Dieu……I doubt that was easy."
"No, but you were absolutely right – I just had to pretend I didn’t
hear him and make him know I wasn’t going anywhere. I got him to take a bubble
bath…"
"A what?" Dr. Peltier displayed a bemused look of surprise at the
ingenuity and determination of the young woman before her.
"….a bubble bath and afterward he ate almost an entire dinner. I thought
I was doing so well…that I had everything under control…and then…"
"…he took exception to something?"
"It caught me completely by surprise. He yelled at me over something so
trivial. I blew it….that means, I made a mistake.:
"Yes, that expression I do know."
"I let him know he had gotten to me. I left him alone…I mean, I was in
the room with him but I didn’t talk to him….then I did a really dumb girl
thing…..I cried myself to sleep."
"How did he react?"
"It was strange….I thought he wouldn’t talk to me for maybe hours or a
day. I woke up a few hours later with him holding me so tightly it was the
reason I had awakened. I could feel how much he needed me. I know I wasn’t
imagining it. He even whispered to me in his sleep not to go. This morning when
he came back from some business appointments he was still brooding but there are
these little moments I see him sorry for what he’s doing but confused because
he can’t stop himself."
"Well, Chloe – I want to tell you this….be reassured you’re doing
everything the right way. Philip is aware of your love and concern. Needing to
sleep beside you is a very telling gesture. I would guess there are times when
he’s quiet and almost himself with you."
"Yes….a couple of times. There is one thing that I’ve thought about and
it’s why I came here to see you."
"Which is?"
"This morning Philip became extremely angry with Shawn - telling him about
everything he’s been through the past hours. He just completely went off on a
tangent. When he finished he was clutching the room key so tightly, almost as a
way of regaining control, he deeply cut his own hand. What I want to ask you is….well……do
you think….I mean….could he…"
"…be harmful to himself…..attempt suicide?"
"Oh, God, I can’t even say it, but it crossed my mind and I need to know
what you think. I came here really to ask you that. My friends Belle and Shawn
are visiting her father and our friend Mimi in the hospital. They’re both
recovering from gunshot wounds. I just made an excuse and came here because I
really need to know."
"I’m glad you came by, then, because I would not want you to harbor such
thoughts unnecessarily."
"Unnecessarily? Then….you don’t think…"
"No, Chloe, Philip isn’t suicidal. From what you are telling me, he knows
at some level, that you are there for him and even more importantly, that you
love him without any reservations. I think probably in time he’ll know his
friend, Shawn, is also there for him to trust. From what you say Shawn held up
under Philip’s verbal lashing. It’s not pleasant, I know, but Philip inside
is registering who refuses to turn away no matter how he behaves."
"Shawn thought maybe subconsciously it’s Philip’s way of testing whothe
people are he really can count on."
"Maybe….and you two have passed the test."
"Honestly? Shawn, after trying to tell him how he felt, that he should lean
on those who love him for support and not getting anywhere, stomped out of the
room."
\
"Still, he didn’t leave completely?"
"No, he waited for me out in the hall after he’d cooled off. He realized
he’d allowed Philip to get to his temper….trying to drive him away,
almost."
"That was very intuitive of Shawn. If Philip were completely alone, then, I
would worry about what he would do to himself. Having met you and talked, I’m
assured he will return to the young man you care for rather deeply, I
suspect."
Chloe let out a long, deep breath and smiled wanly at Dr. Peltier.
"I’m so glad I came to see you. Ever since this morning I just wasn’t
sure and I thought you would tell me honestly whether Philip would try to take
his life."
Dr. Peltier hugged Chloe and gave her a warm smile.
"I’m glad you came to see me, too. When do you return to the
States?"
"Tomorrow just a little before noon. Philip has to get his father’s ashes
- - he had directions to be cremated - - and then we fly back to Salem. I know
Philip’s dreading it. Already pressures are being put on him about having his
father’s will read. He probably will see his mother at the reading of the
will. I doubt there’s any way he’ll allow her to be at the memorial service
if he can help it. Oh, did I tell you? Today is his birthday."
"Ohhhhh, well, perhaps a celebration of life in the middle of all the death
that’s occurred this past few days will be a positive for everyone. Are you
doing something for him?"
"Shawn, Belle and I are going to have dinner in Philip’s suite. He
actually agreed to it….surprised me."
"I think that’s an excellent thing to do. You can’t take his mind off
everything constantly, but maybe for a little while. It’s good he agreed to
have the dinner. You’re staying with him again tonight?"
"Yes…..it’s not what you think…I mean we’re not…."
"Chloe, first of all it is not my business what you and Philip do or don’t
do and second of all, Philip’s thoughts even for a sixteen…..excuse me,
seventeen year old….are not on sex at the moment. Those urges are suppressed
as well. If I can give you a positive scenario?"
"Please, I could use one."
"Some day, when Philip’s emotions regarding all of this come to the
surface – all the emotions he’s held inside will be free – his pain and
sorrow about losing his father, the anguish of his mother's’ betrayal and his
love for you……how shall I put this delicately…..ummmmm…..well, have you
and Philip had sex?"
"No….we haven’t. Why?"
"I would be prepared be the object of his desire, Chloe. He’ll want to
express his love in all its ways to you….if it’s what you want, that
is."
"I hadn’t really thought of that part of this situation, I admit. I don’t
know if I’m ready for that, yet. You really think he’s going to want me….that
way?"
Dr. Peltier nodded and grinned.
"Don’t misunderstand….he will want it if you do, too. You should just
be prepared to maybe be alone with him for…….a few days?"
"A FEW DAYS!!"
Dr. Peltier looked at Chloe’s astonished, flushed face and immediately grasped
what the young woman thought.
"Wait, wait….I only mean he will want to be with you - - without any
interference from anyone else. I didn’t mean to frighten you that he would be
a……..lupine the entire time!"
"But, he might want to be a rabbit at least part of the time?"
"Oui…..yes….in fact, maybe a great deal of the time. From what I have
seen of you both, you’re very mature for your ages and more so since the
coronation massacre. I think you will both make the decision you feel is right..…I
just want you to know what Philip may be ready for."
"Well, this has been VERY informative….much more than I anticipated. I
guess I have some time to think about things."
"Yes, Philip is not going to be ready for talking of his deepest feelings
or making love for awhile. I’m sorry, there’s just no timetable. Everyone is
different when it comes to facing grief of this magnitude. So, I hope you have a
safe trip home."
"Thank you, Dr. Peltier. You’ve been so wonderful to give me time and
straight answers, let alone, some other things to think about."
"Have a safe return to Salem. Let me know what happens, will you?"
"I will. You certainly deserve to know. Good-bye."
"Good- bye, Chloe."
Belle and Shawn sat on a sofa at the end of the hall waiting for Chloe. They
both looked up to see her approaching them from Dr. Peltier’s office. Shawn
was curious about the distracted look on his friend’s face.
"Everything okay? Did she give you some news you weren’t expecting?’
"Well, yes, sort of….."
Seeing she had no intention of elaborating on the news, Shawn walked Belle and
Chloe to the entrance of the hospital and took a cab back to the hotel to spend
the evening quietly celebrating their friend’s birthday.
to be continued...
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