Chapter 3
Without his knowing it, Philip was helping put Chloe’s plan in place to get
him to eat. She had wondered how to distract him until she did an inventory of
the table’s contents. Now, while he continued staring out the window of the
suite, Chloe tiptoed to the rolling table and gently lifted the lids covering
the food. Perfect - just as she had ordered. After looking over her shoulder to
see Philip still not watching her movements, she stepped back from the table a
few feet and walked toward the chairs that surrounded the conference table,
pulled one out to place beside the dinner cart and prepared to try her hand at
impromptu acting.
"Agh….," she groaned attempting to relocate the ornate, wooden
chair. Philip turned and saw her struggling with the unwieldy piece of antique
furniture.
"Chloe, do you need some help?"
"No…no….I can manage it…..just a couple more feet…..Agh!
Ouch!"
Chloe had managed to drop the front right leg of the chair on her foot.
"Are you sure you don’t need any help?"
"I’m fine, really. The pain’s almost stopped."
Philip rolled his eyes, dropped the side of the curtain he had been holding back
to view the street and strode toward her.
"Oh, for…..let me do it. Why can’t you just admit the chair’s too
heavy for you to move? "
He lifted the chair in one movement and placed it before one of the two settings
and let out a deep sigh.
"Do you want me to move another one?"
"I thought you said you didn’t want to eat."
"Oh,….right, I don’t. I just thought that…..well….never mind."
"What, Philip?"
"Nothing."
Chloe turned her back to him, smiling when she was positive he couldn’t see
her and began lifting the covers from the food. Philip, seeing his services were
no longer required, backed away, a trifle surprised to be so easily dismissed
and forgotten.
"Oh, no! I don’t believe this!"
"What’s the matter?" Philip asked.
"They didn’t get the order right. Look at this."
Philip quietly came up behind Chloe and peered over her shoulder at the fare.
"Looks okay to me."
"There’s nothing wrong with the food…it’s just that…..I can’t eat
this."
On one very expensive china plate, sat a cheeseburger, two dill pickles and a
mound of French fries.
"I ordered a cheese sandwich……not a cheeseburger. I guess my French
wasn’t as good as I thought it was. Somewhere, I goofed using ‘fromage’.
Well, I guess that leaves this for my dinner." She lifted a lid to reveal a
bowl of French onion soup and tea.
"Why don’t you just call room service and order again?"
"Because, Philip, it’s already after eleven. By the time it’s prepared
it will be close to midnight. I don’t want to wait that long. I’ll just set
it outside for them to take away. It’s a shame to waste it but you know I don’t
eat meat."
"Suit yourself," Philip said and looked at the cheeseburger.
Chloe seated herself before her meal, daintily lifted an ecru linen napkin and
began to remove the toasted cheese crust from the surface of the French onion
soup with her spoon. After a couple of minutes observing her, Philip walked over
to the table.
"Why don’t you just take the hamburger out of the bun and eat the cheese
in the sandwich?"
"It’s all stuck to the meat," Chloe replied, lifting the top half of
the hamburger bun to demonstrate how inextricably melted the cheese was to the
meat. "Philip, would you keep me company?"
He hesitated for a few moments and nodded. He removed another chair with the
same ease he had done Chloe’s and placed it opposite her and directly in front
of the cheeseburger.
"I haven’t tried the French fries…but, where else would you expect to
get good French fries than in Paris, France, huh?" Chloe smiled and took
another spoonful of her soup. She purposely concentrated on the bowl before her,
praying Philip would do what she remembered he always did when there was a plate
of French fries to share at the Brady Pub. She held her breath as she saw him
eye the plate before him. After what seemed an eternity, she saw his slender
fingers reach for a French fry on the plate and nibble it….then, another…and
another.
"I was just thinking…"
"About what, Philip?"
"Well, um……maybe, since you aren’t going to eat any of the
cheeseburger, I’d just take a bite. I’m not really hungry but I …"
"Sure, go ahead…be my guest." Chloe’s heart practically leaped
from the confines of her ribcage though she kept a disinterested tone in her
voice. It had worked! Though he didn’t eat it with the same abandon he usually
did, Philip slowly ate part of the cheeseburger.
"Who was that the phone earlier, when I was in the tub?" Philip asked
wiping the catsup from his mouth between bites.
"Oh, that was the front desk. They’re bringing my things over tomorrow
morning."
Philip looked up from his plate and turned his head slightly in puzzlement.
"Bringing what things and over to where?"
Chloe cleared her throat, took a sip of her tea and never took her eyes off the
teacup.
"This needs a little lemon. Philip, could you hand me a lemon wedge from
that plate next to your glass?"
He picked up the lemon wedge and started to pass it to her when he suddenly drew
back his hand deciding to hold it hostage until Chloe answered his question.
"Chloe, you didn’t answer me. What things….where? Stop stalling by
pretending to be reading tea leaves."
"Oh, Philip…you know I can’t do that….Tarot cards a little..but…."
"CHLOE!……. answer the question……..please."
Chloe, with head still bent, lifted her eyes and looked toward him over the top
rim of her glasses.
"My suitcases are being delivered to your room tomorrow. I thought that you
wouldn’t mind the company….."
"No…no…no….absolutely not. I don’t even think you should be here
now."
"Philip," Chloe softly said his name, "where else would I be?
There’s plenty of room in here. It’s once again the size of my room – that’s
not a complaint, just a fact. There will be all sorts of phone calls tomorrow,
arrangements to make before we go back to Salem and I can help you. Please, let
me do this."
Philip stared at her for what seemed a lifetime.
"Chloe, your parents will not like you being in the same room with me…alone."
"Who’s going to tell them…certainly not me…besides, we’re not doing
anything wrong."
"Chloe, I want to be by myself…can’t you understand that?"
"I’ll give you some space…..starting right now. I am freezing in these
damp clothes. The soup warmed me up a little, but I think getting out of these
and into a hot shower would be the best. Do you mind if I borrow something of
yours to wear? I don’t want to go back to my room again."
Philip exasperatedly looked at Chloe and knew she already had made up her mind.
"Would it matter if I did?"
Chloe quickly rose from the chair, came to Philip and threw her arms around him
giving him a hug and kiss. He tried to pull back from her but the more he did
the tighter she held him. Dr. Peltier’s words about not letting him
disassociate himself from affectionate gestures ever present in her mind and
actions.
"Thank you, Philip. I really do need to take that shower. I almost feel as
though I could get a cold if I stay in these wet things any longer. I’ll be
about a half an hour….let you have some time alone, okay?" She kissed his
right temple one last time and headed to his suitcase.
Philip stared at the unoccupied chair where Chloe had sat only moments before
and tried to figure out how he had managed to lose another battle of logic to
her. Chloe rummaged through his suitcase until she found what she wanted and
headed for the bathroom, nearly closing the door but leaving it slightly ajar to
release some of the steam. The vent in the ceiling designed for that purpose,
proved to not be the most efficient as she had discovered with the one in her
room. Minutes later the hissing sound of the shower could be heard. Chloe sang
softly but not so quietly that Philip couldn’t hear her.
"Rubber ducky, you’re the one, You make bath time lots of fun."
For the first time in days a small, almost invisible grin appeared on his face.
He looked toward the bathroom doorway and saw the steam wending its way through
the slight opening just as Chloe’s love for him had found an opening in his
grief to make itself known.
Chloe wrapped her body with the companion plush, royal purple bath towel Philip
had used earlier. She combed out her hair and dried it with the hair dryer
attached to the wall. She entered the bedroom some fifteen minutes later to find
Philip with his back to her wearing his powder blue sweat pants and a
many-times-washed "Habitat for Humanity" t shirt he had gotten last
summer working on the Lockhart house. He was on the telephone with, Charlie, the
pilot for the Titan corporate jet. She noticed the remainder of the cheeseburger
had been eaten as well as half the order of French fries and congratulated
herself on using her feminine wiles for the best of purposes.
Philip hung up the phone and turned around to see Chloe doing amazing things for
his spare Salem High Panthers basketball tank top and a pair of blue and yellow
plaid boxer shorts. She filled it in at places he never could. The slight swell
of her breast was visible from the side view. With her hair parted down the
middle, she was braiding the second of her long French braids. It reminded
Philip of the first time he had seen her wear it that way – at Salem Place,
the time he had asked her to go with him to a movie. She reached for her
ever-present tote bag and removed a bottle of vanilla body lotion. Chloe sat at
the foot of the king-sized bed, opened the top of the bottle and generously
applied some lotion to her right leg. From the top of her thigh she languidly
worked it into her skin all the way down to the ice blue painted toenails before
repeating the identical process with her left leg. Next came the moisturizing of
her arms and hands. Never had Philip watched something as simple raise such
complicated, dangerous thoughts in him. She returned the bottle to the tote bag
and rummaged around in it for several minutes as Philip breathed in the fresh
fragrance of the vanilla and recalled every movement of her hands on her own
skin.
"Philip?"
He lifted his eyes from her feet to look at her eyes.
"Do you have a safety pin somewhere in your suitcase?"
"I think so. Henderson usually thinks of everything….why?"
"Well, I have a small problem…actually, it’s a large problem," she
said as she stood to demonstrate her predicament to him. "These are just a
little too loose around the middle and I’m afraid I’ll slide right out of
them during the night if I don’t put a safety pin in the waistband." With
that she showed him how she could gather more than two inches of material in the
boxers and still have them loose about the waist.
He stood looking at her bare midriff where she had raised the basketball shirt
so he could see the problem.
"Philip?"
"Huh?"
"Do you have a safety pin?" she asked wondering why he seemed
unusually distracted. Maybe she had interrupted another thought he had about his
father and the carnage at the coronation.
"Oh, yeah……" he quietly answered. He walked to the bench holding
his suitcase and returned with two safety pins. "Here, you can put one on
each side to make it even."
"That’s a good idea. Wait….don’t go anywhere. If I hold the material,
would you put the safety pin in it?"
"Oh, I don’t know, Chloe….I might accidentally stab you."
"Not if you put your hand inside the waistband and push the pin toward it.
Please, Philip, I can’t see what I’m doing so I’m much more likely to jab
myself than you are."
Philip shrugged his shoulders and took the opened safety pin from Chloe’s
hand. She lifted more of the tank top and doing so, displayed more of her skin.
She held the material and waited for Philip to push the safety pin through the
folds. He slowly slid his hand along the skin that covered the side of her
ribcage until he reached the waistband. His fingers dived below the one-inch
wide elastic band into what he felt was forbidden territory under any other
circumstances. He pushed the safety pin through the gathering and snapped it
closed. Chloe pivoted until her left side was exposed and he repeated the same
process. She seemed oblivious to the constant licking of his lips Philip did
during the pinning – always a sign of his nervousness.
"Thanks, Philip," Chloe said as she lifted the waistband and dropped
it to see if the pins were holding enough material to create a smaller
circumference in the boxer shorts for her slender frame. "That’s great,
Philip, …thanks." She leaned to him and kissed him lightly on the mouth
before he could pull away.
"You’re welcome."
"That shower felt so good. I’m feeling relaxed now. Oh, do you have a
spare toothbrush in your case? That’s something I didn’t put in my
tote."
"You’re kidding, I thought you had an entire convenience store in
there."
"It just appears that way. I can still taste the onion from the soup."
"Hold on…..I probably have one. Henderson…"
"…I know, thinks of everything."
"Yeah…..well, I’ll go look."
Chloe was concerned by Philip’s lack of emotion in his voice the entire time
they had talked since she’d emerged from the bathroom. He said the words but
didn’t seem to feel anything behind them. There was only one time when he
seemed to genuinely be focused into the moment and what was while she was
moisturizing. She wondered if the smell of vanilla had triggered a memory of his
father for Philip. He seemed to be following her every movement….but….why?
It was just a part of her ordinary bath routine.
"Here…..and I assume you want the toothpaste to go with it," Philip
shoved the items in front of her face, breaking her train of thought.
"Oh, thanks. I can’t wait to get this onion taste out of my mouth."
Chloe went to the bathroom, brushed her teeth and returned to find Philip
flipping through the cable guide booklet that listed what programming was
available on the television in the room.
"Anything look interesting?"
"How would I know…it’s all in French," he said with a touch of
exasperation in his voice and tossed the guide on the television with a tinge of
anger.
"Let me have a look at it. Maybe I can interpret it for you."
"Don’t bother, Chloe."
"It’s not a bother," she replied attempting to keep a lilt in her
tone. "It will let me see if I‘ve really learned anything this past
semester in Miss Twiford’s French class. Hand me the booklet Philip, and I’ll
give it a try."
"Will you just forget about the damn booklet? It doesn’t matter if you
can read it or not. The programs will be in French, don’t you think? I don’t
‘parlez Francais’ so I wouldn’t know what was going on anyway. Just drop
it, …leave it alone….for that matter LEAVE ME ALONE. GOD!!!!"
Philip’s sudden outburst of anger after he’d been so subdued most of the
evening took Chloe by surprise. He grimaced as if in pain, mouthed a
"damn" and brought his right hand to his forehead, chagrined at having
been unable to control his emotions.
"Would you like me to get you an aspirin?"
"NO…..no….just,…..just leave me alone,…………….. please?"
he now begged her in a quiet tone.
Chloe looked down at her hands clasped in front of her and worked on an
invisible hangnail while the awkward silence grew between them. She furtively
glanced up at him and saw the pain in his eyes. She took in a deep breath,
exhaled it slowly and nodded her head. She walked around him toward her tote bag
and removed a paperback novel. Philip stared straight ahead at the empty space
where she had been moments before, wishing he could rewind the tape of the past
few minutes and redo it differently. Chloe had the look of a reprimanded child
who had displeased a parent in their enthusiasm of a deed not thoroughly thought
out before they executed it. She lifted the book to her chest and turned it so
Philip could see the title.
In a barely audible tone she said, "I …..I’ve been putting off
finishing my literature assignment. I was going to read it on the plane ride
home but I shouldn’t wait until the last minute if I want to give a decent
report in class. Besides, I like John Steinbeck."
Again, she had that feeling the conversation was one-sided. Chloe dropped her
arm that held the book and walked toward the king-sized bed. After turning on
the small reading lamp that was built into the wall above the bed, she took two
pillows and placed one on top of the other, got onto the bed without drawing
back the bedspread, propped herself up and began reading "Of Mice and
Men."
Philip hung his head, closed his eyes and tried to will the pounding in his head
away. He glanced at Chloe to see her not looking at him….not even furtively as
he’d seen her do throughout the evening. He walked to the suitcase, withdrew
his Gameboy and began playing, determined to forget everything that had happened
the past half an hour. He kept the sound muted to not interfere with Chloe’s
concentration as she read and making the room loud in its silence.
Chloe shifted onto her right side away from Philip and turned the page of her
book. Trying to focus on the story evaded her while her mind began to fill with
doubts.
Maybe I was wrong to believe I could do this. What makes me think I can be the
person to break through to Philip…get him to share his grief? God knows, I don’t
have the reputation for being the most touchy-feely person in the world. Dr.
Peltier just chose the wrong person, that’s all. I should have had her get
Shawn. He’s been Philip’s best friend since they were little. Guys share
better. I only seem to be making everything worse no matter what I do. I don’t
want to hurt him any more than he already is but that’s all I seem to be
doing. Dr. Peltier could be wrong -leaving him alone the way he wants might be
the right thing. I should never have forced my way into his room. The bubble
bath and all the other things I tried were just….stupid. It’s amazing he
hasn’t thrown me out in the hall. The one person who could make him stop
hurting is dead and I am so dumb for ever believing I could even begin to fill
that void. Tomorrow….first thing….I’m taking the next available commercial
flight home. That’s what Philip wants and that’s what I’m going to do
because I love him and I want what he wants.
Philip glanced at his watch and saw it was just after two in the morning. Chloe
was still lying on her side apparently reading. He got up from the chair and
replaced his Gameboy in its carrying case. He noticed Chloe was not turning the
page. She was a fast reader and it struck him as odd she kept pouring over one
passage for so long. He walked to the bed, leaned over her and realized she had
fallen asleep. He walked around the other side of the bed, bent down and softly
called her name. There was no response. He removed the book from her hand,
lifted her glasses from her face and looked at her once more before placing the
two items on the nightstand.
He walked to the entry hall of the room and turned off the switches that
controlled various lights in the suite. When he had finished the only lights
remaining were the small table lamp and the reading lamp above the bed where
Chloe slept. He walked back to the bed and gazed on Chloe’s face in her
slumber. Visible to him now were the small tracks of tears on her cheeks. He
knew then….she hadn’t been reading….she’d been crying, which is why she
had turned her back to him. He shut off the reading light wishing he hadn’t
learned how hurt she really had been by his tantrum.
He placed a knee down on the bed and lowered himself into its softness. He
propped himself up on his right elbow and gazed over Chloe’s shoulder watching
her rhythmically breath in and out until at one moment she drew in a shuddery
breath. It was the kind he had heard before when she’d finished crying. He
reached his left hand out and ran his fingers along her shoulder and down her
arm repeatedly. She was warm, soft and so near. Philip placed his right arm
beneath her neck and felt her body mold against his like two spoons in a drawer.
Philip brought his lips close to her ear.
"Chloe" he whispered, "I’m so sorry I yelled at you. You didn’t
do anything wrong. I just couldn’t seem to stop myself. It’s scary because I
don’t know why I’m like this. It’s like you were just handy for me to take
everything out on. I feel so angry and I’m taking it out on you. Want to know
something? I really liked the bubble bath. You were right…I did fall asleep in
the tub. I felt loved and cared for when you bathed me, washed my hair….stayed
beside me….especially the last part. Chloe, please…..no matter what I do….no
matter what I say…please,….please, don’t leave me. I can’t get through
this without you…please. I love you…..know that I do even though I don’t
seem to be able toshow you just now. You’re the only one who matters to me any
more."
Chloe moved her head slightly and murmured his name.
"shhhhh……go to sleep….." he coaxed, pulled her toward him and
drifted asleep.
Chloe opened her eyes to a darkened room and felt unable to move. Struggling to
make herself more awake, she realized an arm,…not hers, was draped across her
shoulders just below her chin and another rested lightly on her left breast. She
could feel warm breath on her neck and turned her head as far as it would go to
the left. In the room’s faint light she could identify the tousled mop of
blond hair that was Philip’s. His face was lowered into the crook of her neck
and a soft, purring type of snore was coming from him. The last thing she
recalled was reading her book through her blurred vision until she had given in
to crying silently.
She removed Philip’s arms from her and reached down to pull the blanket at the
foot of the bed their feet. The chill of the room and the scantiness of Philip’s
basketball jersey and boxer shorts made her shiver. She pulled the blanket over
both of them. She laid back down but put a few inches of distance between Philip
and herself. She remembered he’d been playing his Gameboy in his attempt to
shut her presence out….or so, she thought. Sometime after she had gone to
sleep….he had crawled onto the bed with her. It was large enough he didn’t
have to be close to her if that’s what he wanted. Yet, he had been holding her
so tightly it had awakened her. As an experiment she closed a bit of the gap
between them. In less than a minute Philip reached his arm around her and placed
it across her breasts while the left one held her about the waist. It made her
feel warmer than any blanket could…from the inside out.
Philip took a deep breath and nuzzled her neck before resting his mouth near her
ear. She could feel his warm breath blowing in it, caressing it almost until it
made her involuntarily shudder.
"Chloe………..don’t go" he whispered faintly before resuming his
first, long peaceful slumber in two days.
Chloe laid her hands on top of his, leaned back to close the gap even more
between them until they seemed to be one.
"I won’t, Philip, not ever………I love you". With that
declaration she returned to an equally well deserved sleep.
to be continued...
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