Expectations – Chapter 2A
Chloe’s eyes adjusted to the darkness of Philip’s hotel room. He had failed
to turn a light on when he’d entered. It was as though the room was as dark as
his mood of the moment. She turned on a small desk lamp and saw the plastic room
key lying on the nightstand where Philip had uncaringly thrown it in his
exasperation of her refusing to leave him. Fleetingly, she wondered if she had
been tossed aside just as the key had been. She quickly shoved the thought away,
realizing it was only her fear of not knowing how to best deal with the young
man who had suffered so much pain, betrayal and loss in the space of a few days.
Like a wounded animal Philip had crawled back into a darkened place and she was
left the task of coaxing him out where she could treat his hurt.
Chloe kept remembering Dr. Peltier’s words. Philip hadn’t stopped loving
her. Underneath all the hostility he was there – the person she knew was
loving and thoughtful. She needed a frame of reference or similar experience
from the past to fully understand what Dr. Peltier meant. She hoped it would
come to her as she began to cross the room.
Philip stood staring out the window at the street below and the little park they
had walked through only the day before. He still wore his cutaway formal wear
covered with streaks of his father’s blood on the white shirt and vest. Was it
really only the day before she had told him he had the soul of a poet?
Reliving their walk it suddenly really came to her what Dr. Peltier meant. Chloe
remembered how she had once thought of Philip as a heartless, insensitive
bastard who lived to taunt her at every given opportunity. Though every name he
called her and the smirk that accompanied it hurt, for some unexplainable reason
she couldn’t completely dismiss him as she did others. There had been
something that wouldn’t make her stay away from him. She admitted it to no one
but she found herself watching him whenever she thought he wasn’t looking.
Then, the night of Shawn’s birthday party, the meeting on the pier and their
talk began to change her perception of him. She had seen a glimpse of the real
Philip, the one who hid behind the personae of the big man on campus, star
athlete and glib ladies’ man.
She, too, had let him see the real her - momentarily dropping her defenses and
talking about her dolls, her music and her dreams of a career in the opera. She
had never told anyone those deeply, personal secrets before. He had made her
smile and she remembered his infectious laugh – one of her very favorite
things about him even now…though she hadn’t heard it in the last few days.
The other feature she loved and first felt herself drawn to that told so much of
what went on inside him were his kind, soulful eyes. He never had to say a word,
just look at her and she would feel emotions that had been buried until she’d
nearly forgotten they were there.
Of course, later that night he had slipped back into his usual behavior telling
her not to let anyone know they had met on the pier…but…..nothing was ever
the same between them again. Who would have believed in less than a year’s
time Philip would write a poem to her as a Christmas gift and in those few lines
reach into her soul as no one had ever been allowed to do before?
That’s what Dr. Peltier meant…..the real Philip was in hiding just as he had
been when she first knew him. The person she fell in love with had been there
all along waiting for someone to set him free – just as he had done for her.
In a strange way their roles would be reversed this time. She would need to be
the more aggressive one. She would need to coax, cajole and when necessary, take
a firm hand with him until she broke through the shell Philip had encased his
despair and grief in. The velvet hammer she would use to shatter it with would
be…..love.
Everything suddenly fell into place. Bewildered when she’d left the hospital,
Chloe hadn’t really fathomed Dr. Peltier’s advice until this moment - - not
completely. A strong resolve filled her as she resumed walking toward Philip. It
wasn’t going to be easy, but, Philip and what he meant to her, were going to
be worth everything that lay ahead. She had a purpose and in that purpose she
would find strength to tolerate whatever Philip hurled at her in his grief.
She came up behind Philip on his right and peered over his shoulder to see what
the view was he steadily gazed at. People walked along the flower-lined park,
their hands linked together. He didn’t acknowledge Chloe but continued his
silent, solitary vigil.
"Philip, it’s really not too cold outside. How about we change clothes
and go for a walk along the park like the other night."
"I don’t think so."
"We don’t have to go anywhere in particular…just meander and be
together. We probably both could use the walk and stretch our legs…"
"What am I… a dog you need to put a leash on and take for a walk? I don’t
want to go. You can if you want to."
"It wouldn’t be the same without you."
Philip turned to look at her over his shoulder as extra emphasis for what he
said next.
"I……..don’t……..want……..to…..go……period."
He returned to his original stance and left Chloe realizing she would have to
try a different angle.
"All right, since we’re staying in for the rest of the night, how about
we order room service."
"Not hungry."
"But…we didn’t even eat anything at the coronation…."
"And I still DON’T want anything to eat."
"I wasn’t talking about just you."
Philip slowly looked back at Chloe and this time, for the first time, he looked
into her eyes.
"I….I’m sorry…..look, if you want to order room service, go
ahead," he said in a quiet, apologetic voice.
As small a victory as it was, Chloe’s heart leaped inside her. Philip was
talking to her…not at her.
"Before I do," she said reaching for his hand and finding him less
resistant than he had been at the hospital when he’d avoided her completely,
"come away from the window and sit down."
"Chloe…" he said in a quiet, exasperated voice.
"Come on, " she gently coaxed, speaking to him in a tender voice.
He hesitated, turning his head slightly catching a glimpse of her hand in his.
He wasn’t sure he wanted to follow her but he couldn’t make himself deny her
request.
She led him toward one of the chairs that were a part of the small conference
table set up in the corner of the room. There were four chairs surrounding an
oval table. She let go of Philip’s hand as she pulled out the closest one,
patted the cushion and motioned for Philip to sit.
"What are you doing?"
"Just let me take your jacket off and I’ll show you. Come on….drop your
arms down and I’ll pull it off."
To her surprise and secret pleasure, Philip allowed her to pull the formal black
coat from his weary frame. As Chloe took the coat and placed it over the back of
one of the other chairs, she couldn’t help feeling that momentary rush she
always had when she looked at his back and shoulders. The years of football,
basketball and baseball had strengthened his back and the weight training room
had giving his upper arms and shoulders definition.
"Sit down and lean back just a little but not all the way."
"Chloe…I thought you were going to order room service."
"I will…in a minute."
She came up behind him and began massaging his neck and shoulders. It wasn’t
the first time she had done so. Several times after a football or hockey game
when he’d taken a hit or two, she’d loosened up the tension in his back
while they sat on the sofa in the Kiriakis den. Philip dropped his head, closing
his eyes while he felt Chloe’s deft, familiar hands working their magic.
"My God, Philip, you’re all knotted up." Guiltily, Chloe loved the
way he felt beneath her hands- strong, solid and masculine. "I don’t
think I can possibly work all the tension out……Wait! I’ve got an
idea."
Chloe looked around the room until she spotted the plastic room key. She left
Philip’s side and dashed to pick up the key before heading toward the door.
"I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere. Order from room service if you
want. Anything you get, just double it for me…unless it’s meat."
Philip looked around to watch her leave wondering what had prompted the sudden
departure. "Chloe?"
"I said I’ll be right back. I’m taking your room key so you don’t
have to worry about letting me in." With that she dashed from the room
holding the voluminous material of her gown’s skirt up and leaving her heels
beside the doorway where she’d disposed of them earlier when they’d entered
the suite, making it easier for her to run in her bare feet.
"Chloe!!" Philip yelled at her but the door had clicked shut. He had
sounded almost angry with her in his tone as he called after her. He stared at
the door and in the lowest audible tone said, ………"don’t go."
Knowing, she hadn’t heard him, Philip looked about the room and tried to find
the menu for room service. Once located, he read it thoroughly, cover-to-cover,
a few times and saw nothing that sounded the least bit appetizing nor did he
think he could keep anything down if he did eat. Twenty minutes later Philip
heard the click of the door and Chloe appeared again only in a pair of jeans and
a plaid shirt. She had a tote bag in her hand and after putting the hotel key
back on the nightstand where Philip would easily find it, headed to the bathroom
with the tote. He soon heard the taps running full force in the bathtub. He
wanted to pretend not to be interested, but his feet betrayed him as he walked
toward the sound of the running water. He carefully peeked around the corner of
the door just enough to see Chloe on her knees beside the tub holding a purple
bottle over the foot where the water rushed from the central faucet. She glanced
toward the open door but Philip had drawn his head back in time for her not to
see him. A few minutes passed until he heard the water shut off. Chloe returned
from the bathroom and looked at Philip.
"Did you order?"
"Uhhhh….n-no, I didn’t. I really think you should order what you want.
I told you, I’m not hungry."
"I can do that in a minute. Come here." She held out her hand to
Philip, inviting him to follow her to the bathroom. He not only hesitated but
withdrew a couple of steps. Chloe crossed the room, still barefooted. Philip
couldn’t stop himself from noticing her toenails were painted an icy shade of
blue. Chloe detected his reluctance and came to him, taking his hand in hers and
leading him back to the bathroom.
"Hey…what? …..what are you doing, Chloe?"
"Just come with me and I’ll show you."
Steam rose in thin wisps from the surface of the tub covered in heaps of
lavender-fragranced bubbles. Chloe turned to face Philip and slowly began
undoing the buttons of the vest. Philip’s eyes watched what her fingers did in
confused silence.
"You could help, Philip, make this go a little faster. Slip you shoes
off."
"Slip my shoes off?….What the hell do you think you’re doing,
Chloe?"
Philip bent down to look in her eyes for an answer but she kept her
concentration on the clothing before her and not the person wearing it . Chloe
had to fight to hold in a smile. He wanted to escape her as she realized he was
uncomfortable in the role reversal of being the one having his buttons undone…and
by HER, no less.
"I am trying to help you get your clothes off so you can get in there
before all the steam is gone. A hot bath always helps me relax when nothing else
works …so, I figure it should do the same for you."
"Wait…..wait…..I’m NOT getting in there."
"Yes, you are."
"Look….I prefer a shower and even if I do rarely take a bath, it doesn’t
have flowery-smelling bubbles in it."
"But, the lavender is relaxing for the senses. You’ve heard about aroma
therapy, I’m sure. Besides, you and I are the only two who will know you took
a bubble bath. You can trust me. I won’t tell anyone."
Philip looked at the tub but made no further progress at removing his clothing.
Not granting him another moment’s grace, Chloe resumed undoing the buttons of
the vest and removed it. She knew Philip had calculated her embarrassment meter
reading and was waiting for her to reach a certain point undressing him, when to
save herself any humiliation, she would stop on her own. That had been the Chloe
without a mission….not the one who stood before him now. She pulled the
bloodied dress shirt up from the waist of his black dress pants until the
wrinkled ends were hanging out. From the top she removed the white bow tie and
placed it gently on the marble counter that ran the length of one side of the
bathroom. Starting at the top she removed the studs and exposed his still,
summer-tanned chest by degrees. Philip either stared at her or gazed off to see
his reflection in the mirror. She pushed the sides of the shirt away from her
and off Philip’s shoulders before grabbing the ends of the sleeves removing it
in a matter of seconds.
Philip hadn’t expected Chloe to go as far as taking his shirt off, though,
come to think of it, she had seen his naked torso often during the previous
summer when they had worked in the July and August heat building Mimi’s new
home.
He prided himself in having held his ground….not giving in to her stupid idea.
It was now at an end…he just knew it.
Chloe stood with her hands on her hips hesitating to see if he would make the
next move. She turned away from him a moment to take her glasses off and laid
them beside the white bow tie on the counter. They had steamed over from the
humidity in the bathroom (at least that’s what she hoped that was the reason)
and would hinder her next move. Feeling she had given Philip ample time
co-operate but to no avail, she gathered her nerves and reached for the top
button of his pants.
"Hey…..Chloe!!…what are you….."
"You can’t get into the tub still half dressed, Philip. If you won’t
take off the rest of your clothes, I’ll do it for you."
"Like hell you won’t!"
"Like hell I will……watch me."
She reached for the waistband a second time and felt Philip grab her hands.
"All right…all right,…I’ll take them off. God, what is with
you?"
"And what’s on underneath them plus your socks. "
Philip displayed that disgusted looked she had seen before when she was winning
an argument point with him. He’d avert his eyes to the side and breathe an
audibly deep sigh. He looked at her and raised his arms lightly, shrugging his
shoulders.
"Do you mind if I have a little privacy? "
"No, not as long as you keep your word and get into the tub in the next few
minutes before all the heat begins to dissipate."
She walked past Philip and headed out the door. Chloe turned back in time to see
Philip lowering the zipper on his pants and do a quarter turn away from her when
he saw her staring back at him. She walked into the bedroom with a grin across
her face.
She hunted through the drawers of the bureaus spread throughout the room until
she found what she was looking for while she listened for activity in the
bathroom as well. She heard the soft "kerplunk" of his feet as he
placed them in the water and gave him a few more minutes to lower his body into
the hot water accustoming it to the temperature as he descended. She had made it
as hot as she thought he could bear and still be comfortable.
"God…Chloe…..what do you think I am, a lobster? What the hell is with
making the water so damn hot?"
"That’s what you need to have it relax you and take the tension out of
your muscles. You’ll get used to it in a few minutes."
"So does a lobster…but by then…he’s dinner."
Chloe looked toward the bathroom door and bit her lip while a small wave of
tears swept over her eyes. Philip had actually made a joke….out of his anger
at her…but it was a start.
She walked over to her tote bag and pulled three small glass votive candle
holders from it and went back into the bathroom.
Philip looked up with a surprised expression and leaned forward to cover himself
with billows of bubbles.
"What…….."
"Oh, relax….most of what’s showing I’ve seen before, Philip. The rest
the bubbles are adequately protecting."
Her heart pounded the adrenaline through her system brought on by her own
boldness. She turned off the bathroom light plunging the room in nearly total
darkness. Only the soft light of the table lamp in the other part of the suite
illuminated enough of the room to make it possible for her to see where she was
going.
"Okay,……… what are you doing now? Do I have to bathe in the
dark?"
She said nothing but knelt beside the tub, lighting the tiny candles in each of
the three votive holders and placed two of them in the corners of the foot of
the tub. The third she lit, picked up and crossing in front of Philip’s body,
placed in on the back corner of the tub. She brought her face within in inches
of his until she could feel his warm breath on her neck. Lingering a few months
until she felt his eyes wandering over her face, she drew back looking at his
softened features in the glow of the candlelight.
"I bought these in the shop next to that little chapel we went in one
afternoon. I always have plenty of candles lit when I take a bath like
this."
They stared unable to break the eye contact between each other. Chloe placed her
hand on his left shoulder blade and gently pushed him back against the tub.
"Lie back."
For the first time Philip followed her orders without displaying hostility as a
preamble to doing it.
"Just relax and close your eyes."
"I’m not sleepy."
"That’s okay….just rest your eyes….let the hot water take all the
tension it can out of you."
She stood up and backed away from him.
"I’ll go order room service and leave you alone."
She found the menu Philip had tossed on the bed and called room service and put
into motion the other part of her plot. She ran her hand along the top of the
shelf above the clothes closet until she found a large plastic bag. Unfolding it
she went to the bathroom and without looking at Philip picked up his discarded
clothing to prepare it for the housekeeper to take for cleaning. The shirt and
vest, she felt, were probably not going to be salvageable. The bloodstains were
too large and soaked all the way through the material. She turned to check on
Philip and heard deep regular breaths emanating from him….he was asleep for
the first time in almost forty-eight hours.
She took the filled laundry bag, tied a knot in the top and opened the door,
placing it outside for the hotel to pick up. She quietly closed the door and
removed two items from her seemingly bottomless tote bag and tiptoed back into
the bathroom.
Lowering herself beside the tub near the back where Philip continued to slumber,
she placed her arms atop the bathtub rim and watched him sleep for ten minutes
or more. Unable to resist she lifted her trembling hand and lightly touched it
to the side of Philip’s face. He slept on – oblivious to the overwhelming
tidal wave emotions sweeping over Chloe. She gently lifted that one notorious
stray lock of hair that always fell over his forehead and smiled as she watched
it defy her just as Philip had – returning to the same place it was moments
before.
"Oh, Philip," she whispered as silently as possible, "I love you…..I
really, really do."
to be continued....
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