"like sands through the hourglass so are the...Days of our Lives"

Christyne's

"The Teens" Fan Fiction Site

7:00am, Sunday, December 26, 1943
Salem – John and Marlena’s Penthouse

Sami stood before the long closet that ran the length of one wall in her bedroom trying to decide which suits of the three she had pulled off the rack were the best to take with her to New York. She wanted them to be warm, fairly wrinkle-free and have a "serious" tone to them befitting the purpose of her trip. She was nearly ready to eliminate one when there was a soft knock on her door.

"Come in."

The doorknob slowly turned and the door swung ever so gently open. Slowly, a blond head of curls began to appear around it. Sami gazed in the floor length mirror on the sliding closet door and saw Belle’s contrite face begin to come into full view.

"I strongly advise you to close that door with you on the other side of it, Belle. I’m really in no mood for a conversation with you this morning. I have a train to catch in two hours, I’m not finished packing, I haven’t had my shower or done my hair yet and I’m still very angry with you. Don’t you have to get ready for school or something?"

"Sami, it’s Christmas vacation. There is no school."

"Then, go back to bed and sleep in. Better yet, why don’t you dream up some plot to get Shawn Brady to notice you and then you won’t have time to meddle in other people’s lives."?

"I told you I was sorry."

"Sorry? You’re sorry? Gee, Belle, then I guess everything’s all right. Going to New York on money I was saving to buy a car, barging in on Carrie’s time with Mike over New Year’s Eve and destroying someone’s illusions by telling them they’ve been fed lies for months by an amateur matchmaker will just be a lot of fun then, won’t it? As long as you’re sorry, the rest is just immaterial."

"That’s not what I meant. I just wanted you to know I really do know I was wrong. I shouldn’t have lied to Lucas. He just made it so hard to stop when I got those letters from him. I also shouldn’t have gone behind your back like that, but you’re so unforgiving with Lucas."

"What I am with him is none of your business."

"Why do you always say ‘him’?"

"What?

"You call everyone else by their first name but you never call Lucas anything but ‘him’ when I mention his name."

"I do not. It’s just that that’s the way I think of him."

"See, you did it again."

"Belle, stop it! I don’t want to talk about you or…Lucas…anymore."

"I’m going back to my room for a second. Promise me you won’t lock the door on me?"

"Belle, am I not getting through to you? The best thing you can do is to let me get out of here and have a chance to…Oh, that girl! She’s positively infuriating."

Sami returned to her packing realizing time was becoming her enemy as the departure for New York grew imminent. She carefully selected shoes, jewelry and hats to go with the two suits she had selected for the journey. She had nearly forgotten the morning’s confrontation with Belle when her younger half-sister came bounding through the bedroom door with something under her arm.

"Didn’t I tell you to go to back to bed and leave me alone? What will it take, Belle, to get through to you that I’m not kidding about not wanting to see or talk to you right now? Should I call Mom in here and we’ll just tell her everything?"

"No, Sami, you promised you wouldn’t tell!"

"Then get out…please, Belle?"

"I will - but, will you promise me just one thing before I go?"

:"It depends."

:"On?"

"On whether you’ll promise to leave this room without saying another word once you’ve finished."

"I promise…scout’s honor."

"All right, but make it quick. I’ve got to get myself ready to go and get to the train station soon."

"Mom said she’d drive you so that will save you a little time. I asked if she would. I told her you were really excited about spending time in New York with Carrie and she understood."

"Oh…thank you, Belle. Now, what is it you have to say?"

Belle walked slowly toward her sister as though she was afraid of stepping on land mines. The pastel pink, oblong box she carried beneath her right arm became intriguing to Sami as she realized it apparently had something to do with her sister’s need to talk.

"I’ve kept this under the bed for so long that I needed to reinforce one corner with tape from all the times I pulled it out and put it back. I even dusted it off before I brought it to you. I want you to take this with you and make me one more promise…"

"Belle, not another one…"

"It’s the last one I’ll ask for, I swear it on my stack of Frank Sinatra records. If I ask for anything else, may they all get broken."

"I think you’re being a little over dramatic, but all right. What’s in the box and what is the promise you want?"

"In here are all the letters Lucas ever wrote to me, well, you, really. I have them all in the order he sent them – from the very first reply he wrote to the one that came day before yesterday. I’m giving them to you because I thought maybe they’d help you figure a way to tell him everything. If you knew what’s been going on in his mind; the things he thinks about; what makes him laugh or feel sad or, just what you’ve meant to him while he’s been away, you’d understand him better."

"Belle, you have to stop this…trying to bring Lucas and me together. It’s not going to work. We tried that a long time ago when we were yours and Shawn’s ages and it was a disaster."

"That’s not what Carrie told me. She said you two were close all through high school until your Senior Prom and then something happened. Whatever it was she said it really hurt you and after that you wouldn’t talk to him again."

"Carrie’s been telling you a little too much, I think. Let me tell you this - that whatever happened, a few lousy letters isn’t enough to change the history between us. Lucas will always be Lucas and I’ll always be me and together we just do not belong, okay?"

"Don’t you think you’ve grown up since then? Aren’t you more mature than I am?"

"Yes…but…"

"Well, don’t you think Lucas has done the same?"

"NO, he’ll always be a skirt-chasing, uncaring, arrogant…never mind. What is the promise you want involving that shoebox of letters – I am right assuming they go together?"

"Yes. Promise me, Sami, you’ll take the box with you and read at least ten of the letters on the train ride to New York."

"Oh, for…Belle, that’s really asking too much."

"You promised, Sami."

"I know, but, that was before I knew what you wanted. There’s nothing in those letters that I could possibly want to read."

""They’re all addressed to you, Sami."

"Yes, written by someone who composed them under false assumptions."

"But, they’re all written to you, Sami, from Lucas. I may have been pretending but he wasn’t. He was really writing to Sami Brady."

Belle slowly stretched out her arms holding the shoebox of Lucas’ letters to her sister. Sami hesitated for nearly a half a minute before accepting the box. Judging by the look on her face, anyone unaware of what the box contained would have thought it had a timing device set to go off at any moment.

"Sami…promise?"

"…all right, I promise to read ten letters."

"Pinky swear."

"Belle…fine, all right…pinky swear."

Since any of the family could remember, a pinky swear was the most sacred of rituals of promise keeping. Terrible things would supposedly happen to someone who went back on such a pledge, though since no one had ever done so, the theory was untested. Belle gave her sister a quick hug and raced to the door. Before she left the room completely, she turned and with a defiant look on her face made one final statement.

"I don’t know what happened between you and Lucas at the Prom. All I know is that you’re wrong about him - he still cares about you – it’s in those letters. No matter what happens, I will always like him, Carrie will always like him and if you’d ever stop being so stubborn, you’d admit you do more than just like him. It’s stupid for you to let him get away when there are other girls who would give anything to have someone feel about them the way he does you. Have a safe trip. I love you, Sami. Bye."

Belle slammed the door behind her leaving her sister holding the box of letters and stunned into silence.

Two hours later Sami sat on the train headed for New York. She had bought magazines in the terminal prior to boarding and had leafed through them in less than an hour after pulling out from the station in Salem. The pink shoebox sat beside her on the leather seat – untouched since it had been initially placed there. All the while as Sami had scanned her magazines, it was visible out of the corner of her right eye.

She walked to the dining car and had a light lunch and returned to her seat only to find no one had thought to mercifully remove the box as possibly being debris. Exhaling a deep breath she turned slightly toward the box lifted the lid and instantly noticed just how many letters Belle had jammed into its interior. She carefully lifted the one at the front of the box so others would not fly out of their tight quarters.

She noticed the slight trembling of her gloved hands but reasoned it away by saying to herself the train tracks made her hands shake as the car clattered along. She recognized Lucas’s printing instantly from all those homework assignments they had done together during their high school times. He was one of those who could print faster and neater than write cursively. She unfolded the v-mail and began to read

-----England---US Army Air Corps---8th Air Force---384th Bomber Group

March 16th, 1943

Dear Sami,

Before I go any further I admit I had to stop and read those first two words I wrote for awhile. Until this morning when I went to mail call and saw a letter postmarked from Salem with your return address, I never thought I would put those two words together again in my lifetime – at least not where you could hear or see them. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to, I just never thought you’d let me.

Four years is a long time to hold out hope that someone will change their mind and try to forgive a jerk like me for making the worst mistake of my life, though I didn’t know that was so at that moment. I’ve wanted to rewind the clock a thousand times and take back what happened at your Senior Prom but I knew it couldn’t be done. Not talking or seeing me at all these past four years has seemed a suitable punishment but it doesn’t mean I could completely let you go. I went to your high school graduation though you didn’t see me. I walked by your house countless times and looked up at your window wondering what you were doing when the light was on and, with a touch of jealousy, who you were out with when the light was off.

Enlisting in the Air Corps seemed to be the best solution to everything. I finally broke free of my mother’s loving but manipulating ways. I learned to stand on my own getting through basic training. When I got to Douglas, Arizona and was assigned to my crew, I began to learn to be responsible for those around me by thinking over my actions. By the time we were at flight school in Utah, they were like brothers to me every bit as much as Mike and Phillip are and Austin was. I also could put some distance between us to get some perspective on what and whom I truly wanted in my life.

I have come far, Sami, in these months away from Salem. Don’t get me wrong, I love Salem, it’s my home, where my family is and, where you are. I hear from Carrie, Maggie, Grandma Alice, Victor, Mike, Phillip and friends. They keep me filled in on the hometown news. I ask all of them about you because you’re with me constantly – in my thoughts, dreams and prayers. I’m happy one of my prayers has been answered in the form of your letter today. I don’t know how many times I’ve read it already, probably enough to make the ink start fading.

I don’t know when I’ll be back, Sami, but when I am, I’ll finally be able to erase the last image I have of your face at the dance that night. I want to put my arms around you and hold you until you smile at me again. I know it’s silly but I want to hear you say you forgive me even though you’ve written me those words today. Until that day these letters back and forth will have to do as a way of us talking like we used to. I promise to write every week even if I don’t have much news I can tell (security, you know) just so I can feel we’re part of one another’s lives again. I’ve missed that. You were my best friend, too. I want to share everything again.

Now, I guess I’ll wait to hear from you, if you want to keep writing, that is. If you don’t, that’s all right, too. This one letter will see me through anything until I see you again. I’ll carry it with me inside my bomber jacket next to my heart on all my missions for good luck.

Love,

Lucas

"Is there something wrong, dear?"

Sami had been staring at Lucas’ letter for ten minutes at least after re-reading it a time or two. She couldn’t seem to take her eyes off the neatly printed words though she’d tried to repeatedly. She became aware someone was talking to her and it broke the spell the letter held over her. An older woman sat across from her with concern on her face.

"You’ve been sitting there staring at that letter an awfully long time. I don’t mean to pry but I hope it isn’t bad news. There is so much of that happening these days what with people separated by the war. If I can help in some way I’d be more than happy to listen."

"No, no - it isn’t anything like that."

"I’m glad to hear that. I gather from the v-mail folding it’s from a serviceman – you’re young man perhaps? I’m sure you write frequently if it is from him. Those letters are so important to our fighting men. I really do believe it’s what keeps them going through the rough times, don’t you?"

"Wha…yes…yes I believe that. Letters are important. I write to my brother all the time."

"I’m sure you do but it’s not quite as wonderful as hearing from your special young man and knowing he’s all right."

"Well, no…it’s not the same."

"You’re a very pretty girl so I’ll bet he’s a handsome man. Do you have a photo of him with you?"

"A photo? No, I don’t have one of him."

"Oh, dear, what a shame. You need to do that soon. If you haven’t done so, I hope you’ll send him one of you. I’m sorry, I’m rattling on but you just seemed to be so sad when I first saw you reading the letter. I was just concerned."

"That’s all right. I’m fine…really."

"Oh, this is my stop. I’m sorry we didn’t have longer to chat. Where are you heading by the way?"

"New York City to visit my sister for a few days."

"Will your young man be in town, too?"

"Uh…yes, actually. He’s coming back to the States day after tomorrow."

"Oh, how wonderful! I’m sure you two will have much to catch up on, if you know what I mean."

The woman rose from her seat smiling at Sami before turning and heading for the exit.

"Yes, we’ll be catching up all right," Sami thought. She folded the letter from Lucas and replaced it in the shoebox. After staring at it a few more minutes she reached in and withdrew another and began reading one written nearly a week after the first.

Carrie walked out onto the platform where the signs indicated the train would be arriving from Chicago. The crowds were thicker than usual due to the holidays. She never tired watching people greet one another with hugs and kisses upon their arrival. The train slowly came around the curve and stopped only fifteen feet from her. Within moments of its announced arrival, passengers began pouring from all eight cars.

She began walking down the platform constantly looking at the steady stream of people leaving the train hoping to catch a glimpse of Sami. Even though the circumstances for Sami’s trip to New York were of a serious nature, Carrie was excited at the prospect of spending time with her sister after almost a year’s separation. Suddenly, she saw Sami emerge from the next to the last train car looking around through the sea of humanity for a familiar face.

"Sami! Over here!"

Carrie jumped up and down, waving toward Sami and hoping she could see her in the crowd. Sami’s eyes continued to scan the horizon until she caught the antics of her exuberant sister. Her serious face immediately radiated into a smile as she eagerly waved back while she stepped from the train and dodged fellow travelers to reach Carrie.

"Carrie! Carrie! Oh, I’m so glad to see you! I began to think I might not ever find you in this place. I had no idea it was so big."

The sisters hugged, stepped back to look at one another and resumed hugging.

"Sami, you look terrific. Welcome to New York. I told you it was a big city."

"I know, but this big? I know I’m not in Salem anymore."

"I know how you feel. I had the same reaction when I arrived here to start my job even though Jenn was with me. Now, after all these months I’m beginning to feel as though I belong. Let’s get your bags and head to my place. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do. What’s that you’ve got under your arm?"

"I’ll show you when we get to your place. It’s something Belle insisted I have before leaving home. I’ve been reading what’s inside all the way here."

Carrie’s interest was piqued but she concentrated on safely maneuvering them out of Grand Central Station and to her apartment.

Nearly an hour later they walked into Carrie’s apartment where Guinevere wasted no time in working her charms on Sami as she purred and made it irresistible for her to not be picked up and petted as they made their way to the living room.

"Oh, Carrie, I love your place. You’ve really made it feel like home. Even the descriptions you gave didn’t really do it justice. I love the bay window."

"That was one of the things that sold me on the place…plus the rent."

"What a beautiful Christmas tree. It’s beautiful…so…fluffy."

Carrie couldn’t help but giggle at Sami’s description.

"What’s so funny? It is a fluffy tree just like Mom always insists on having."

"Nothing, it’s just that it’s the same word I used to describe it to Mike when we were trying to pick one out and he couldn’t understand what I meant. I guess I should have used "full" but it’s a family-ism."

"Oh, so Mike helped you pick out the tree, huh? I noticed you made a stocking for him and since I’m noticing things, might he have something to do with those pearl earrings you’re wearing?"

"Well, yeah…I guess so."

"Okay, let me put my stuff somewhere and then we’ll get down to some serious sister talk about you and Mike. Jenn told me a million things but I want to hear your version."

"You’re going to have Jenn’s room since she won’t be back until a few days after the New Year. Let me show you where to put your things. I’m so awfully glad you’re here, Sami."

"I’m glad to be here, too, Carrie. I just wish it were for different reasons."

"I know. Mike’s going to meet Lucas on Tuesday at the airfield. I guess that’s one advantage of being in the Air Corps. You get to fly home rather than take a ship back."

"Has Mike heard from him? I was just wondering how he’s doing – you know, the broken arm and all.

"Not since yesterday when I talked to you. Come on, let’s go put these bags in your room."

Carrie sat on Jenn’s bed as Sami opened her suitcases and removed her clothing to hang in the closet while Guinevere curled up at the foot of the bed so as not to miss a thing.

"Okay, Sami, I have to ask. What did Belle give you in that shoebox?"

Sami visibly hesitated in her movements at the question before resuming hanging up her suit she intended to wear to her meeting with Lucas at the train station.

"It’s a box of letters…the letters he wrote to Belle thinking it was me he was writing to."

"Oh…have you read any of them?"

"Yes…nearly all of them. I promised Belle I’d read them. She thought maybe reading them would help me know how to talk to him, sort of, like a primer, I guess."

"That’s not a bad idea, really. Has it been of any help giving you an idea what to say to him Tuesday?"

"No, not exactly. I…I…oh, Carrie…I don’t know what to do or what to say to him…Lucas, I mean."

"I know who you meant."

"Sorry, Belle accused me of always calling Lucas ‘him’ but I know that’s not so…is it?"

Carrie smiled and held her hand out to her sister, coaxing her to join her sitting on the bed.

"Come here, Sami."

Carrie put her arm around her sister and looked into her face.

"Yes, you do call Lucas ‘him’ but I understand. He hurt you so deeply that you’ve done everything you can to depersonalize him including not calling him by name, am I right?"

"I don’t know…maybe. Carrie, why did Belle do this? Did she think it was fun or just a way to torture her older sister?"

"No, Sami, not at all. She’s sixteen and very much a romantic, sort of like two other girls I used to know who are sitting on this bed."

Sami realized what Carrie meant and smiled.

"I guess but she never should have gone as far as she did. Writing letters to him and pretending to be me is playing with people’s emotions."

"I agree and I think she knows that now. Remember, she doesn’t know what happened four years ago…about you finding Lucas at the prom with…"

"Well, that’s in the past and that’s where it should stay. I mean, I’ve moved on and so has…Lucas. He’s a tail gunner in the Army Air Corps and I’m building planes for the war effort. We’ve both managed to build lives that don’t relate to one another."

"I don’t know, Sami. Don’t you think there’s a little irony that you build the planes he flies?"

Sami looked up at her sister as though she had been struck.

"Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. How about a little dinner, a lot of talk and an early night? I have one more day to work at the studio and then I’ll have Tuesday through next Monday as vacation."

"Sounds good to me. Come on, I want to hear all about you and Mike. I am so happy you two finally figured out what all of us knew for years."

"Oh, you did, did you?"

The girls talked animatedly all through dinner preparations and the meal itself. Carrie told her sister nearly everything that had happened between Mike and her since the night at the USO. Sami sat spellbound with a smile constantly upon her face. Sami called home to let them know she had arrived safely and the girls then prepared to turn in

"Why don’t you come to the studio and have lunch with me tomorrow and I’ll introduce you to my boss and the people I work with?"

"That sounds great. I think I’ll spend the rest of the day relaxing and trying to figure out what I’m going to say to him…Lucas…when I meet him Tuesday."

"I’m sure you’ll do just fine, Sami."

"I just don’t want to have him be embarrassed by having this all come out in Salem. That’s the only reason I decided to meet him here."

"I know. I’ll see about one tomorrow?"

"I’ll be there. I think I’ll just read a couple more of those letters – just for information and then get to sleep myself."

Carrie had decided she was awake enough to do her nails as she sat up in bed listening to the radio. When her nails had dried and she prepared to go to sleep, she turned off the radio. Settling back on her pillow she became aware of her sister’s soft sobbing in the adjacent bedroom. Wanting to comfort Sami she thought of going to her room and knocking but thought better of it. She knew what Sami was unwilling to face for the time being.

Carrie softly said aloud, "So you’ve put the past behind you and built separate lives? Oh, Sami…Sami."

Carrie turned over and went to sleep while Sami cried well into the wee hours of the morning.

Wednesday, December 29th, 1943

Carrie sat at her vanity table spraying a little Chanel behind each ear with the new perfume atomizer Eric had given her for Christmas when the familiar pattern of knocking began on the front door of the apartment. She quickly slid her feet into her navy blue pumps and dashed to the living room. She stopped momentarily to check her hair in the small mirror by the door before opening it.

"Hi, Sweetheart."

"Oh, Mike, I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve missed..."

Before she could finish Mike kissed her as he picked her up and made his way into the foyer of the apartment. Setting her gently down he continued to hold her lips to his, as though he needed her kiss to live as much he needed air. Almost a minute passed before he unwillingly released her.

"…you."

"What?"

"I said I’ve missed you."

"Yeah? I’ve been counting the hours on my new wristwatch, too. I know it’s only been a few days. Funny…the more time we spend together, the longer time the time seems when we’re apart. I swear it’s been more like four weeks than four days."

"I feel the same way. I was glad Sami was here to keep my thoughts occupied. We have been talking so much, getting caught up on all that’s happened since last March. It’s wonderful to have her here. It’s taken away a little of the homesickness I’ve had through the holidays."

"I know, Lucas and I have talked more the past twenty-four hours than I think we ever did all those years in Salem."

"How is he…really?"

"Physically, he’s doing pretty well – I think he’s got a small infection but I’m watching it. The arm is healing but he has to have it in a sling for at least three more weeks. Once the cast is off, he’ll start physical therapy to regain the mobility. His burns are minor and I doubt he’ll have much scarring. If he does, it will be on the back of his right hand. He’s still one of the most animated people I’ve ever been around - - smiling, making jokes, but…"

"But, he has this look in his eyes that tells you he’s not as happy inside as he shows everyone."

"How’d you know?"

"I’ve seen it in Sami’s eyes since she stepped down from the train. She’s talked a mile a minute about everything but Lucas. She can’t fool me, Mike. Lucas has never been out of her heart in all the time that’s past. Belle gave her the box of letters Lucas wrote to her since last March. She won’t show me any of them but she’s cried herself to sleep all three nights she’s been here after reading some of them. That isn’t the behavior of someone who doesn’t care about Lucas."

"Wow, I thought it was just me thinking those two have a lot of unfinished living to do with one another. The minute he got off the plane yesterday he started showing me little things he’d bought Sami in England. He’s excited to be home but I can tell he’s also nervous about seeing her again. He kept asking me I was sure she was here with you. Incidentally, where is Sami?"

"She left for Manhattan to meet Lucas’ train at one o’clock. I asked her if she wanted me to go with her or wait and you could go along as well but she wanted to have it be just the two of them. I told her we’d be here for her and Lucas if they needed us. I hope you don’t mind my telling her that."

"No…no…no….that’s fine. I asked Lucas if he wanted me to go on the train with him to meet Sami but he wanted it to be just the two of them, too. I think he’s going with different expectations, though. He’s thinking Sami wants a future with him…"

"…and she’s going there to end any possibility of a future with him. Oh, Mike, I feel so terrible for both of them."

"Come here, Honey."

Mike wrapped his arms around Carrie as she did likewise to him. Mike removed his left arm from Carrie, reached into his back pocket and handed her a handkerchief. Carrie dabbed her eyes with it and smiled up at him. He knew she’d needed to release a little of the emotion she had been living with since Sami’s arrival realizing what this day would bring for her sister and close friend.

"Well, I guess we just wait to help pick up the pieces, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Mike, can you imagine us ever going through something like this? Both of us loving each other but having something come between us that we can’t get past?"

"No, not us. We’ve always been open, except about how much we loved each other. I admit I was the culprit in that. It took a blow to your head to make me realize how much I loved you."

"What…blow to my head? I thought you were the one who needed to have some sense knocked into you. What are you talking about?"

"Remember that morning you banged your head on the kitchen cupboard when you thought the coffee pot was going to burn out? It was while you were standing there letting me examine your bump that I realized how attracted I was to you. How should I put this…you did more for flannel pajamas that morning than anyone I’ve ever known."

"Michael Horton! I’m surprised at you. Sounds to me as if my bump wasn’t the only thing you were examining."

"Now that you mention it, I had a great deal of trouble finding it since my…mind…was somewhere else."

Mike wiggled his eyebrows and smiled at Carrie as she slugged him gently in the arm.

"I can’t believe you said that, Mike. Of course, I had a little distraction of my own."

"Oh? Do tell."

"That was the first time I was ever examined by a doctor wearing a towel…period."

"What? You exaggerate. I also had my dog tags on."

Carrie smiled at him fully remembering the moment he had walked into her kitchen that morning - an army Adonis.

"I wish Sami and Lucas could have memories like that instead of the one they’ll have of this afternoon."

Mike nodded his head and took Carrie by the hand.

"What do you say we go out and have lunch? I don’t think either of them will be back here within the next hour. Even if Sami does tell him right away, it’ll take some time. Who knows, we may not get another chance to be alone until either or both of them head for Salem."

"I’d like that. I’ll just leave a note letting them know where we’re going. I assume you’re aiming for a deli so you can have another corned beef on rye?"

"Okay, that’s it - I’m not going to be too predictable - it’s a pastrami on rye today. Come on, let’s go."

Grand Central Station

Sami had arrived nearly an hour before Lucas’ train was due in from Fort Dix. Her thinking was that it would allow her time to calm her nerves and allow her to practice her speech to him explaining about Belle’s deed. She wanted to waste few words – just get to the heart of the matter and have it over with. The less said, the better, was her take on the entire episode. She had watched the minute hand circle the huge clock face in the train station at least thirty times when the announcement of the train’s arrival startled her. She stood as the train pulled into its berth her heart pounding harder with every foot of distance the train came closer. With its stop, she felt as if her heart had also.

Sami began to nervously watch the people departing the train, hoping she would see Lucas before he saw her. Somehow, having that advantage was important to her. After ten minutes there was still no sign of Lucas exiting the train. Sami began to wonder if either she had misread the train schedule or Lucas had decided to elude her. The latter seemed the most plausible to her memory of Lucas’ way of handling things he didn’t want to face. Still, she felt he might be on this train – after all, he knew nothing of the deception that had been going on for months, therefore, there was no need for him to believe anything was wrong between them.

Just as she began to walk toward a porter who had been on the train, she saw another porter at the end of the last car descend, turn and reach up a helping hand to someone. He took a duffel bag from an outstretched hand adorned with a gold ID bracelet. She next glimpsed a highly shined army dress brown shoe followed by its companion on the first step down from the train. Looking up from the shoes she saw the tan dress slacks, dark brown army jacket with the stripes given to a tech sergeant sewn on the sleeve, an 8th army patch on the shoulder and above the gleaming "US" insignia on the collar, the all-too-familiar face.

Lucas.

His thick, dark brown hair was cut military regulation length and partially hidden by the cap he wore. The porter helped him descend the remaining two steps before giving him back the duffel bag. Lucas handed the porter a few bills though he refused to take them. The porter shook his hand and re-boarded the train.

Up to this moment Sami had watched him in profile with growing interest. He remained completely unaware of her presence as he shifted the duffel bag to a more comfortable grip and pulled himself erect. It was then Sami could see he’d lost at least twenty pounds making him thinner than she’d ever seen him. His head was slightly bent as he turned and began walking in her direction, still blind to her nearness. He had a slight limp in his right leg as he walked and there were small shadows beneath his eyes.

His right arm was in a sling tied close to his body and there were gauze bandages on the fingers not covered by the cast. He had walked nearly half the distance between them when something made him look up. Sami would forever remember that moment when she looked into his face after a four-year absence. He seemed to relax, his eyes brighten and the pace of his step showed less of a limp as he approached her.

Lucas saw Sami as the woman she had become, standing there in a chocolate brown wool suit, shoes, purse and hat to match with a cornflower blue blouse that matched the color of her eyes. Her flaxen hair was pulled back and rolled into a twist along the nape of her long, swan-like neck. She wasn’t smiling but still there was something inviting in her look as he walked toward her at a quicker pace. He stopped less than two feet from her and continued to stare into the eyes he’d dreamed of countless nights.

"Hello, Sami"

"Hello…Lucas."

"I can’t believe you’re really standing there but I can smell your Tweed perfume. That is what you still wear, isn’t it?"

"Yes, it is."

"Gosh, I used to think you were the prettiest girl in class but you’re beautiful now."

"Lucas…"

"Let me look at you. I hate to say it but I’d forgotten just how blues your eyes really are. I’m sorry if I’m staring."

"No, it’s all right. Lucas, I…"

"Oh, before I forget…this is for you."

From inside the sling he pulled out a white lace nosegay of deep purple violets and handed them gently to Sami.

"Violets?"

"Uh-oh, they used to be your favorites. Aren’t they any more?"

"Yes…yes, they are. It’s just that…how did you find some in New York in the winter?"

"I called ahead and asked if they could find some and the florist worked magic. I told him they were for my girl and he said he’d do what he could. I picked them up at the flower shop near the train station this morning on my way here I know how you used to always have them planted in a pot at the penthouse. I wanted you to have something as rare and special as you are."

"Thank you, they’re beautiful."

"No…not really…not next to you."

"Uhhh…how’s your arm? Are you in a lot of pain?"

"This thing…nah, I’ll be fine. Mike says it’s healing okay. I only have trouble when I sleep. I tend to roll to my right side and it wakes me up if I press on it too hard. The burn is coming along. I have to have the dressings changed daily but that’s just a minor inconvenience."

"What about your leg? I couldn’t help noticing you were limping a little."

"Oh…I…uh…I hit it on the door of the bomber when I bailed out. It’s a nasty bruise more than anything. Hey, enough about my injuries. We have a lot of other things to talk about, don’t we?" Lucas smiled as he said the latter.

"Yes, we do. I’m just not sure where or how to begin. There are things you don’t know, Lucas…"

"Well, for starters one thing I don’t know is how I would have gotten through the last nine months without your letters coming every week. I lived for them. I know it sounds corny but it’s true. Every mail call I’d be first in line hoping there’d be one of those pastel pink or blue envelopes from you. The other guys got to the point where they knew when I’d heard from you just by the color of the envelope or the perfume on it. I was lonely when I first got to England feeling I was cut off from home. Then, your first letter came and …I dunno…everything made sense again."

"Lucas, really you have to know…"

"…know what? That the first letter was hard for you to write, especially after everything that happened? I’ve never forgiven myself, Sami, for what I did to you…to us, but you did…thankfully. I need to hear you say it, Sami…that you forgive me."

"I…I can’t."

"I understand…no, really, I do. It’s one thing to write it but saying it is a little harder. I don’t want to push you about it. It’ll come, I believe that, otherwise, you couldn’t have written me all those letters. I kept them all. Did you know that? Did you keep mine?"

"Yes, they’re all in a pink shoebox."

"I was thinking maybe…someday…our kids can read them and know how much their parents loved each other way before they were born."

"I think that’s a little far into the future, Lucas."

"Yeah, you’re right. I just had a lot of time to think and daydream in between missions after I’d get one of your letters. Look, I’ve changed, Sami. I’m not that cocky, womanizer you knew in school."

"Lucas, don’t. I’ve seen the photos you sent Eric of the girls you dated in England. They were all very pretty and you looked like you were having a good time with each and every one of them. I wouldn’t exactly say you pined away while you were there."

"Wait…wait…I told you in the letters, I would just go out and have a little fun but I never got serious with any of them."

"Serious? Meaning you didn’t sleep with them…more than once?"

"No – just like I wrote, I’d go out and be completely bored with them because they weren’t you. I thought you were okay with that. You said so."

"Let’s drop this whole subject, all right? I have something more important to talk to you about…"

"Sami, what you just said about…sleeping with them? She’s still there between us, isn’t she?"

"I don’t have the vaguest idea what you’re talking about."

His voice rising slightly, Lucas leaned forward and looked Sami more squarely in the eyes.

"Yes, you do…I’m talking about Nichole Walker."

Sami stared into Lucas’ deep brown eyes for several moments before averting her face.

"Aw, Sami. This isn’t what I wanted our first hour together to be like… bringing all that up but I guess maybe it’s better if we get it out of the way once and for all."

"We don’t have to talk about it…"

"You’re right…we don’t. You listen and I’ll talk. First, I need to sit down, I’m feeling a little light headed."

Sami turned back to find Lucas’ face ashen and her momentary anger abated. She knew Lucas was genuinely in pain. She walked around behind him and held his left arm as she guided him to a long bench inside the train station. He sat for a few minutes with his head leaning back and his eyes closed. Her Red Cross training at University Hospital led Sami to forget the emotions of the moment. She loosened his tie and took his pulse making sure he wasn’t close to fainting. She went to the luncheon counter and returned with a paper cup of water.

"Here drink some of this."

"No, I’m fine…"

"Drink this and stop being so stubborn."

Lucas opened his eyes and looked at Sami with a small grin turning up the corners of his mouth.

"Well, I guess you’d know when someone was being stubborn."

Despite her best efforts to remain stern, Sami’s features betrayed the humor of Lucas’ remark.

"I’m feeling better, Sami. Thanks for taking care of me. Funny…"

"What?"

"I had these visions of me taking care of you from now on," he said as he pointed at her.

"In your dreams, Roberts."

"Exactly…in all of my dreams. I think about you all the time, Sami, awake or asleep. You’ve kept me alive…because I knew I was coming home to you. Nothing could happen to me as long as you were home, praying for me like you said in your letters. I had an angel protecting me. I love you, Sami."

"Lucas…"

"I do and I had to tell you before another minute went by. I get the feeling you’re not ready to say it back to me. Well, I said it first and it felt good. Now, what is it you wanted to tell me?"

Carrie’s apartment

"Carrie, would you please stop pacing? You’re gonna wear a hole in the carpet if you keep it up."

"I can’t help it, Mike. It’s dusk and they’re still not here. What could have happened to them?"

"Well, maybe they slugged it out and are in emergency…"

"Oh, very funny, Mike."

"…or, it could be they’re talking things out and realizing they let four years slip through their hands and they want to make up for lost time."

"I don’t think so. Sami was adamant about never getting involved with Lucas again after his infidelity with Nichole Walker at the prom. It would have been bad enough if she’d heard about it from other people but to have walked in on them in the girl’s locker room while they were…you know…"

"Yeah, I do know. Lucas told me about it yesterday. He’s regretted it from the minute it happened."

"Oh, Mike, he’s said it countless times but Sami just wouldn’t listen to him. I know he was wild back then."

"Carrie, they’re both adults, now. Sami’s twenty-two and Lucas is twenty-four. They know what’s right for them and what they really feel. I believe him when he says Sami’s the only one he’s ever wanted to spend his life with because I know what he means, now."

Carrie stopped her pacing and turned to face Mike after the last words he’d spoken. The look on his face nearly leaving her breathless.

"Hey, I’ve got an idea."

"Oh, and what’s that?"

"Well, since it’s useless for us to go out scouring the entire city for them, I think we should try to redirect this pent up energy we’re trying to deal with."

"’And, how’, she says curiously, ‘does the good doctor intend to redirect this energy’?"

"It’s quite simple really. You come over to the couch, sit beside me and we neck."

"Neck?"

"Yeah, you know…neck…fool around…give each other hickeys…neck."

"Neck…what a good idea! We’ll give the fireplace competition producing heat."

"Now that, my dear, is the correct attitude to have. Come to the good doctor."

Mike held out his arms, wiggling his fingers while he lay back on the sofa. Carrie walked to his outstretched arms but stopped just out of his reach.

"What?"

"I’m just wondering, Dr. Horton. Do you prescribe this remedy to all of your patients?"

"Nooo…just the one I’m in love with."

"Oh, that was the right answer, Doctor."

Carrie took off her shoes and lay down beside Mike adjusting the back cushions to accommodate them both. Mike began by kissing her eyes, cheeks and slowly worked his way down her neck. Carrie started on Mike’s chin, jaw line and began biting him on the ear. Things were rapidly escalating along with their breathing when they heard a key in the front door lock. Carrie scrambled to sit up adjusting her pullover sweater while Mike was still trying to understand why she had stopped. He reached to pull her back down on the couch before realizing he had let himself get caught up in the moment again. Each time he tried to discipline himself, it was more and more difficult to do.

"Mike, Sami and Jenn are the only two people besides the landlady who have a key to the apartment. Since Jenn is in Salem, that’s got to be Sami and maybe Lucas," Carrie whispered to Mike as she brushed the tendrils back from her face and rose from the couch.

The door opened and Sami entered the apartment with Lucas directly behind her. All four of the room’s occupants hesitated to say anything. Mike and Carrie couldn’t tell but Lucas seemed to have taken the news all right. Sami still seemed troubled but there was a different look on her face, too. Lucas smiled as he saw Carrie and stepped toward her.

"Carrie, I can’t believe how great you look. Boy, have I missed you."

Carrie forgot everything else at that moment and rushed to hug her close friend. They held each other for a minute or more and only when she saw Lucas flinch slightly did she remember to not squeeze so hard because of his broken arm.

"Oh, I’m sorry, Lucas. Did I hurt you?"

"Are you kidding? That was the best dose of medicine I got since I saw Sami in the train station."

Carrie’s eyes quickly glanced in her sister’s direction as did Mike’s. Something wasn’t quite right but they waited for clues from Sami before saying anything.

"This is great. Here I am less than two days from being in a hospital in England to being with my big brother, best friend and the woman I love."

Mike and Carrie still were clueless and even more so after the last remark. Sami walked toward Lucas.

"Would you like to take your jacket off? I think I can try to not hurt your arm in the process."

"That’d be great."

"How about a cup of coffee, Lucas? Mike and I’ll go in the kitchen and rustle up some of the coffee cake we had earlier as well."

"Actually, I’m a little tired. Would you mind if I sat down awhile? We’ve been walking around looking at the city. I think maybe I overdid just a little."

"Hey, over here, little brother. Stretch out if you like. I can attest to the softness of the couch. I’ve slept on it several times. Let me look you over just to make sure you’re really okay though."

"Mike, I’m just tired and probably suffering a little from the time change. England is five hours later."

"Lucas…here…now."

"Okay, okay. Geez, that’s what I get having a doctor for a brother."

"I think you should let Mike take a look at you, Lucas. You do look tired."

"I agree, Lucas, we did have a long walk and climbing the apartment stairs made you a little winded.

"Not you guys, too. Guess I know when I’m out numbered."

Lucas went to the couch and sat down allowing Mike to give him a once over. While Mike looked in his eyes and checked his pulse rate, Lucas leaned toward him and in a conspiratorial whisper said, "Nice shade of red you’re sporting there, Mike."

Mike suddenly realized he was still wearing Carrie’s candy apple red lipstick on his lips and cheek. He took out a handkerchief and quickly wiped it off hoping Sami hadn’t noticed.

"Sorry, we interrupted things."

"Actually, I’m glad you came in when you did. It was getting a little too intense."

"Really? And this is a problem? I mean you and Carrie are in love."

"I’ll explain it to you later. Lie back and rest a little, okay?"

Mike joined the girls after making sure Lucas was resting. They all began speaking in hushed tones.

"He’s okay. I think he just did a little too much his first day out of the hospital."

"Sami, what happened when you told him about the letters? He seems to be all right or in complete denial. Neither

one seems to be the mood I’d think was good for someone who had gotten such devastating news."

Sami walked a step from them and murmured, "I didn’t tell him, Carrie."

"Well; that explains his behavior but why didn’t you?"

"I don’t know exactly. When I saw him get off the train he looked so different, fragile almost. Look at him – he’s lost at least twenty pounds. He brought me these. He remembered I loved violets. He started telling me what the letters meant to him, how they got him through the bombing missions- - it just wasn’t the right time."

"So, what are you going to do now?"

"I’ve been thinking about it all afternoon. I don’t ask that you understand but I want to give him a few days of the illusion."

"Sami, I …"

"It’s what I want to do. He’s been through so much, especially the last week and a half. He’s hurting and I don’t just mean from the broken arm and the burns. I can feel it. There’s another wound deep inside him that hasn’t even begun to heal. When he’s a little stronger, I’ll tell him…just not now."

"All right, Sami. Mike and I will abide by your decision. I’m not sure I know any more than you do how to handle this but you know him better."

"Thanks, Carrie…Mike."

They each gave her a hug and went into the kitchen to make coffee and slice the coffeecake Carrie had made from a recipe Sami had brought from their grandmother, Carolyn. Lucas had always loved it when he went to the Brady Pub.

Sami tiptoed over to the sofa to check on Lucas and found him sleeping. She walked around the couch and sat on the coffee table, her elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands watching him and eventually reaching out to push a stray lock of hair back from his sweaty forehead. He was apparently running a low-grade fever, perhaps from an infection. She would tell Mike about it a little later.

"What’s really wrong, Lucas? You smile but not in your eyes. I can’t tell you about the letters until you’re ready to face what going on…inside."

Sami reached her hand out and placed it gently atop Lucas’. In his sleep he wrapped his fingers around hers and squeezed gently.

Carrie softly pushed open the kitchen’s swinging door and watched her sister for a minute. She closed the door and returned to the kitchen where Mike was taking down the dessert plates from the cupboard.

"Mike, I don’t want to get overly optimistic but I can see a change in Sami since this morning."

"You’re right, Carrie, don’t get overly optimistic but you know what? I see it in Lucas’ face, too."

They hugged each other and had their dessert in the kitchen, leaving the other couple in the living room holding hands for the first time in four years.

Waiting for You - Chapter 21

Wednesday Evening, December 29th, 1943

Sami pulled the Christmas afghan her grandmother had made from the back of the sofa and carefully placed it over Lucas as he continued to sleep. She gently checked his forehead with the back of her hand assuring herself that she was right before tiptoeing across the living room carpet toward the closed kitchen door. She lightly pushed against the door and saw Mike and Carrie eating their coffeecake and talking in between bites as they stood at the kitchen counter.

"Am I interrupting anything?"

Mike and Carrie turned simultaneously to look at Sami before Mike motioned her into the kitchen with his hand as his mouth was heavily engaged in another mouthful of dessert.

"No, of course not," Carrie said. "Come on in. How about a piece of coffeecake and a cup of coffee?"

"I’ll pass on the coffeecake for the moment though I love Grandma’s recipe. The coffee sounds good, though."

"Okay, one cup of coffee coming right up. How’s Lucas?" Carrie reached into the cupboard and took out another cup.

"Still sleeping. Mike, I don’t know if you noticed before when you were checking him over but I think Lucas is running a fever. He’s awfully warm to the touch. I just checked him again before coming in here."

"Yeah, he’s been running it ever since he got to the hospital from England except for this morning. That’s why I delayed him meeting with everyone until today rather than Tuesday. The doctor in charge wanted to be sure it was under control before he let him leave the hospital for the day. It was normal for the first time this morning. When I checked him a little bit ago I noticed he was slightly feverish. Carrie, do you have a thermometer in your medicine cabinet? I think when he wakes up I want to take Lucas’ temperature and see how much it’s gone up again."

"Sure, I’ll go get it now since it might take me a couple of minutes to hunt for it. Neither Jenn nor I have had a cold since we got to New York but we bought one just in case."

Carrie poured her sister’s coffee and left the kitchen to locate the thermometer.

"Mike, what do you think is causing him to have a fever? Is it the burns on his hand, an infection maybe?"

"No, I don’t think so, Sami. I don’t know if Lucas has told you everything about the crash…"

"…he hasn’t told me anything at all. I sort of expected him to go into endless detail the way he used to do about everything that happened to him but he hasn’t said a word."

"Oh, well then, I’ll tell you he was in the Channel over an hour before Air/Sea Rescue picked him up. From what I’m told that water is normally chilly in the summer and with it being December, it was that much colder. I suspect his immune system is probably a little down as a result and that’s producing the fever. I also think we’re possibly dealing with a delayed reaction to shock. With either scenario it’s not surprising he might be fighting a cold or the flu. When I examined him a little while ago, it seemed to be up only a degree or so."

"Mike, I know you’re the doctor and the best one I know, but I think it’s higher than that now. I put my hand on his forehead and he was noticeably warm to the touch. I don’t want to be a nag but would you mind checking him again?"

Mike looked at Sami’s face and could read the concern was genuine.

"Sure. As soon as Carrie finds the thermometer I’ll wake him up and get a reading."

Carrie entered the kitchen moments later holding aloft the thermometer with a smile on her face.

"It wasn’t as hard to find as I thought. Maybe I’m more organized for a change. Here, Mike." She handed Mike the thermometer and noticed the serious expressions on his and Sami’s faces. Something told her it was good she had found the thermometer readily.

"Thanks, Carrie. Let’s stop speculating and go to the source for a reading."

With Mike leading the way the three of them left the kitchen heading for the sofa. Lucas showed no signs of awakening as they approached him. Mike shook the thermometer in his hand to get the mercury in it to register at a zero degrees reading while with his left hand he felt Lucas’ forehead and face.

"You’re right, Sami, he is warmer than he was an hour ago. Lucas? Lucas? Open your eyes and look at me…Lucas?"

There was no appreciable movement from Mike’s brother even after his name had been called several times. Mike turned Lucas’ face toward him and was, at last, able to get him to open his eyes."

"How are you feeling, Lucas?"

Attempting to smile he said, "With my fingers, what else?"

"Very funny, Lucas. I’m serious. I think your fever is back and I want to take your temperature to get an idea of just how high, okay?"

"Okay."

"Open your mouth and put this under your tongue. Hold it there with your teeth and tongue until I remove it." Lucas nodded his head, closed his eyes and obediently opened his mouth as Mike inserted the thermometer. Mike took his pulse reading as the girls looked on with concern. When the appropriate time had passed, Mike removed the thermometer, walked to the lamp and read the result.

"You were right, Sami. It’s 102. That’s a little higher than it’s been before. His pulse rate is fine, his eyes are a little bloodshot but I don’t think it’s serious. What I need to ask you, Carrie, is if it would be all right for him to stay here for the night? He shouldn’t try to go back to Fort Dix on the train. It’s below freezing out there already and I don’t think waiting around for a train would be very conducive to bringing down his temperature."

"Absolutely, Mike. We’ll make him comfortable here for the night."

"Good, because I want to call the post hospital and tell them what’s going on with him. He’ll be listed as AWOL if I don’t. I’ll get things squared away with the brass before I go back to the post and check in with them when I get there just to be on the safe side. He’s supposed to be on leave as of tomorrow for forty days until he finishes rehab on the arm at University Hospital when he gets to Salem and gets assigned a new flight crew once he gets back to New York. I’ll get his medical release filled in by the attending physician before I leave the base tomorrow. They won’t let me sign it because of the family connection. Lucas will have to return to the post to be formally released by the hospital before he can leave for Salem. I’ve got early rounds but I can get back here tomorrow by noon to check on him and decide then if he’s well enough to return to the post to see his regular physician."

"What should we do to help him tonight?" Sami asked with genuine concern in her tone of voice and attitude.

"Aspirin every four hours, lots of blankets to keep him from getting chilled and if he should be hungry, some kind of hot liquids or warm soup if you have it."

"Will Campbell’s chicken noodle do? It’s not homemade but it’s hot."

"That’s fine, Carrie. Well, I need to call the post. May I use the phone?"

"Absolutely. I’ll go get some blankets from the hall closet while you do that."

"I’ll get the aspirin from the medicine cabinet. That is where you keep it, right, Carrie?"

"Yes. I saw it on the shelf when I was looking for the thermometer. It’s a good thing I just bought a new bottle weekend before last."

The trio separated at that instant and headed in the direction it was necessary for each to go to complete the task they had assigned themselves. Less than five minutes later they congregated at the side of the object of their concern as he continued to sleep oblivious to the flurry of activity his health had created.

:"Okay, I’ve got things squared away with the base hospital. They know he’s here for at least the next twelve to eighteen hours. Now, before I wind up in the brig, I’d better get myself in gear and get to the train station. I’ve still got time to catch the seven o’clock commuter. If you have any questions or Lucas’ condition worsens, which I doubt very much that it will, you’ve got the telephone number to my room at the post so don’t hesitate to call, all right?"

"Fine. I’m glad you were here, Mike. I feel better knowing you’ve examined him. I’ll walk you to the door downstairs. Be back in a few minutes, Sami."

"I think I’ll add another log to the fireplace to create some more warmth. Thank you, Mike, for everything."

"Hey, he’s my brother, remember? Nothing’s too good for him - nothing."

Sami had the sensation Mike was trying to tell her about something other than just Lucas’ medical condition. When it washed over her he was referring to her, she hastily hugged him and went to the fireplace to stoke it before applying another log - putting distance between herself and the conversation, particularly the pertinent point behind it.

When they stood on the stoop of the apartment where Mike waited for his cab rather than walking to the corner as he usually did, Carrie hugged and kissed Mike repeatedly.

"I didn’t think I’d say this given the temperature but is it getting warm out here, Miss Brady?"

"It’s probably just the draft from the doorway, right?"

"Nooo, I don’ t think so. Let me try an experiment to test that theory."

Mike kissed her lightly before drawing back his face with a comical intensity on it.

"Hmmm…insufficient data…perhaps if we did that for a slightly longer time I’d have a better basis for comparison."

"Whatever you say, Professor Horton. Anything for your clinical research."

The kiss was longer and more sensuous than its predecessor. Eventually, the participants released one another.

"Well, Professor Horton?"

"Where’s that thermometer? I think I’m developing a fever."

Carrie smiled at Mike before kissing him one last time as the cab drove up to the curb.

"This has been an interesting day, don’t you think?"

"Interesting wouldn’t even begin to cover it. I never thought when it began Sami and Lucas would be occupying the same apartment for more than a few hours let alone over night – granted, in separate rooms. Do you really think he’s all right?"

"Yes, Carrie, it’s a fever and the aspirin, sleep and warm blankets should take care of it. Let me know if there’s any change at all. If you really want to know, when he walked into the apartment this afternoon behind Sami, it was the best I’ve seen him look since he arrived in the States. He was…I don’t know…alive in every sense of the word. I don’t know how else to say it."

"Did you notice he couldn’t take his eyes off Sami for more than a few seconds at a time? I’m beginning to understand to some degree why she doesn’t want to tell him yet about the letters. I’m very proud of my sister. I couldn’t handle this all as well as she is were I in her place."

"That’s true - because you’re not in love with Lucas."

Carrie nodded her head, kissed Mike one last time and waved to him after he’d stepped into the cab and left the street deserted. Mike was right. It wasn’t a night for anyone to be out let alone Lucas with a fever now that the temperature was in the teens. She re-entered the apartment building and made her way to her own door. As she stood in the foyer, she beheld her sister giving an awakened Lucas aspirin and a glass of water.

"Take both of them, Lucas. It’ll bring down the fever and you need the water as well. You’re sleeping right here on the couch tonight. Mike’s cleared everything up at the post. There’s nothing for you to be concerned about. You won’t be AWOL. Let’s get you more comfortable for the night."

Though he said nothing, Lucas cooperated with all Sami’s instructions. She removed his shoes, loosened and removed his tie and undid the bottom button of his shirt cuffs. Carrie felt a sudden sense of deja vous. She had done the same thing to Mike that cold, eventful Thanksgiving night when he had come back to the apartment needing a cup of coffee and had fallen asleep on the very same sofa. Carrie watched her sister gently care for Lucas. She knew by looking at Sami’s face what thoughts were going through her mind – the self-same doubts she’d had only a little over a month before about whether the man who lay there was her future. Sami had convinced herself it wasn’t the case but her eyes gave her away – within them was a hope only someone who had been there themselves could see and relate to.

"How’s he doing?" Carrie whispered to Sami.

"He was awake for about five minutes. It was long enough I got two aspirin down him. I got some pillows from the closet in my room to put under his head and he’s got enough blankets over him to make it almost impossible for him to move from the sheer weight of them."

"It seems you’ve got everything under control. I’m going to put the dessert things away in the kitchen, make some hot tea and then open up that seven thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle Grandpa sent for Christmas. Care to join me? I thought we could work on it at the dining table."

Sami looked at Lucas for a few moments before responding by nodding her head.

"Is it okay if we turn on the radio? Maybe some music rather than a radio show."

"Sounds good to me. It might even help Lucas sleep better. Before we start I’m going to put on my pj’s and warm bathrobe, too. We’re not expecting any more company and there is no way we’ll be going out again. It’s possible it could get down around zero tonight."

"Good idea. I think I’ll do the same thing."

Half an hour later the girls were hunting down the border pieces of the puzzle, listening to a Duke Ellington orchestra remote from the Steel Pier and drinking hot tea. They talked in low tones about friends or family but mostly enjoyed the company of one another without feeling the need to keep up a steady conversation. Working on a jigsaw puzzle was common activity at the Brady or Black households during the winter when it was necessary to be indoors. It seemed that from early November to mid-March there was always a puzzle in some stage of completion.

Three hours later they admitted they could find no more pieces for the night that would fit together without forcing them and decided to go to bed. Carrie took the tea mugs into the kitchen to rinse them out and when she returned Sami was coming from her bedroom with a comforter and three pillows.

"What are you doing with those? Don’t you think Lucas has enough to keep him warm? I don’t think we want to smother him."

"I’m going to sleep out here in the lounging chair by the fire and keep an eye on him – in case his fever climbs."

"Mike didn’t seem to think it would be more serious and besides, that’s a comfortable chair to sit in but I don’t know about sleeping in it all night."

"I can put my feet up on the coffee table. The fireplace should provide some heat and I can put a log on it every so often during the night. He needs to take two more aspirin in less than an hour and another dosage during the night. I’ll be fine. I just think it’s a good precaution."

Carrie said no more and only smiled at her sister while nodding her head.

"I know that look, Carrie."

"What look?"

"It’s that ‘I know what Sami’s really feeling look’ and you can stop right now. Fever or no fever, I haven’t changed my mind about ending this romantic charade when the time is right. Lucas and I were over four years ago. Not everyone is like you and Mike – destined to be together since you were ten and he was sixteen even though it took you a long time to realize it. I admit I used to believe it would be the same with Lucas and me when we first met that summer he showed up in his military school uniform at Kate’s. I was fourteen and he was sixteen. The time we spent getting to know one another and the two years we went steady at Salem High were wonderful. Amazingly, even after Lucas had graduated and I was still going there, nothing changed. We dated even though he was at Salem U and I was still in high school. I have nothing about that time I’d change…"

"…except what happened at the prom with Nichole Walker."

"That goes without saying though no one can ever seem to go without saying it in conversation concerning Lucas and me. You’re right, I would change it, but…I can’t, Carrie. No one can and that’s where it ends."

"Does it, Sami? Good night…see you in the morning."

Sami watched her older sister as she headed for her bedroom, closing the door behind her, leaving a simple two-worded question hanging in the air to haunt her thoughts in the darkened room. She walked to the lounger chair, turned out the table lamp and arranged the pillows to support her back before checking Lucas one last time. He had rolled slightly to his right and the sling-covered arm was in danger of being caught between his body weight and the back of the sofa. He’d no doubt awaken to incredible pain if she didn’t get him turned over onto his back. She put the comforter on the coffee table and mulled over the best method to accomplish the repositioning. After thinking it over she bent to whisper in his ear.

"Lucas…Lucas…it’s me, Sami."

Lucas stirred and turned his head in the direction of her voice though he was obviously more asleep than awake from the fever and aspirin.

"Sami…what is it, baby?"

The word of endearment and the gentleness of his voice caught her off guard and she abruptly moved back nearly falling as the back of her leg made contact with the coffee table behind her. She stood in the dim glow of the firelight watching to see if Lucas opened his eyes – but he didn’t. After waiting a few minutes she lowered her face to his ear again.

"Lucas…its Sami…"

He stirred more quickly and a smile came across his face. It had been one of her favorite things about him- his smile. She could be in the foulest of moods but one look at him smiling would make her begin to grin - had made her grin – past tense.

"Lucas, turn toward you left, okay? Follow the sound of my voice."

The smile turned to a slight frown as he remained still but after Sami had repeated the same direction a few more times, he began to turn and was soon on his back again.

"That’s better. Now, you won’t be in pain when you wake up."

She readjusted the blankets to cover him and leaned over him to tuck them in at the back of the sofa. As she finished and began to back away, he breathed deeply and mumbled.

"…love you, Sami…"

Staring at him - almost mechanically she placed the back of her hand on his forehead and could tell the fever had lessened from what it had been a few hours earlier. She started to withdraw her hand before she suddenly turned it over to caress the side of his face and chin. She looked in the direction of Carrie’s closed bedroom door before turning back and leaning down until she was within inches of Lucas’ face. She could see the regular deep rising and falling of his chest as he slept. She could detect his after shave – a scent she had always associated with only him. It has been a long time but she hadn’t forgotten how much she’d always liked it. Whispering in a tone as low as she could, she said what hadn’t been uttered in a very long time.

"I love you, too, Lucas."

She kissed his forehead and withdrew to the chair settling into it as best she could for the purpose of sleeping. She stared at Lucas whenever tears didn’t blur her vision of him until sleep overtook her.

Sami automatically awakened at four am and roused Lucas enough to give him two more aspirin though he protested at the intrusion into his slumber. The feverishness of his skin was practically gone and it allowed her to return to sleep easier if not very comfortably in the chair. She awoke to a room with streaks of sunlight coming through the windows and no sign of Lucas on the sofa. Unfolding her pretzel-bent limbs in the chair she heard the whistling of the Andrews Sister’s big hit "Don’t Sit Under the Apple Tree" coming from the kitchen. Less than a minute later Lucas emerged with a plate of toast and a glass of juice.

"Good morning, Sami."

"Lucas, what are you doing up. Are you all right?"

"I feel fine - just a little hungry. You want some toast?"

"No, thank you. Lucas, as sick as you were last night I didn’t expect to see you up and about and whistling no less."

" Maybe I just needed a good night’s sleep somewhere other than a hospital ward. Mike was right this couch is terrific to sleep on."

"I don’t think you should be moving around just yet."

"Why? All I’ve done is lie around in a hospital bed – first in England and then yesterday at Fort Dix. I think I just needed to get moving again. I think it was the medicine that helped, too."

"Medicine? Lucas, it was only aspirin."

"No, no – I don’t mean that."

"You’ve lost me."

Lucas looked up from the plate of toast he’d been concentrating on since he’d sat down on the sofa. The smile he’d had ever since coming into the living room was gone. Sami’s immediate reaction was that he was in pain again.

"Lucas, what’s wrong?"

"What you just said. It was the last thing you told me that night at the prom when I tried to talk to you after everything happened…that…I’d lost you."

"Oh, well, I just meant I didn’t understand what you were talking about by the medicine. It wasn’t a prescription – just plain old, ordinary aspirin."

Sami was determined to not follow where the conversation was leading them.

"I know that. I meant you. You’re the best medicine for me. One look at you and I feel better."

They stared at one another. Each one could think of nothing else to say at the moment.

"Good morning, you two. Lucas! You look much better than when I went to bed last night."

"Good morning, Carrie. Hope you don’t mind but I made myself some toast. I was hungry."

"No, of course, not. Help yourself. I’m just glad to see you feeling better."

Carrie began to have the feeling she had blundered her way into something significant as she saw the nervous way Lucas played with his toast while looking furtively at Sami who sat silently, almost stone-like.

"I guess I’ll go get a bowl of oatmeal for myself and let you two talk."

"No, that’s all right, Carrie. I’m going to get take my shower. You can keep Lucas company for awhile." Sami rose quickly dropping the three pillows repeatedly as she attempted to gather them along with the comforter that had covered her during the night. Unknown to her Lucas came up behind and handed her the pillow that seemed the most determined to not return to the bedroom as it repeatedly fell on the living room floor.

"Here."

She turned in surprise to find him less than two feet from her and looking directly into her eyes.

"Thank you."

"You’re welcome."

She hastily left the living room unaware Lucas stared after her with a look on his face Carrie recognized as one she’d seen similarly on his brother’s when he was admiring her for just being near him. If it had even the slightest effect on Sami as Mike’s did on Carrie, her sister was fighting a losing battle with her heart as the trophy Lucas sought at its conclusion.