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-Advice on Sex, Dating, and Relationships-

yo mama

ASK JENNY ABOUT JENNY TELL A FRIEND

I have the hots for a friend. It's more than lust I really care for him. How can I let him know without jepordizing our friendship? I want us to have a relationship, but not at the expense of our strong friendship. I get the feeling he feels the same way about me, but there's really no way to be absolutely sure. Should I pursue love with him?

Signed,
Wanting More in Westminster

Here's the thing, in all of my experience falling for friends, there is no way to NOT jeopardize the friendship. If you want something more to happen, and you can't wait for him to make a move, you have to take a risk. There IS one way to be absolutely sure if he feels the sameway about you…but it takes risk…ASK HIM!!! If he is a friend he will understand you're feelings and won't shy away if he's not interested And trust your instinct. If you think he feels the same about you, he probably does.

If you decide to make the move, make sure you two are on the same page about which direction you want your relationship to go in, because it might turn out you'd rather keep him as a friend.

Good luck!
Jenny


I've been with my girlfriend for over 9 years. We're finally planning on getting married. Besides the normal pre-wedding jitters, there is one thing that concerns me. Here is my question:I don't feel we're really sexually compatible - she wants sex all the time and I don't. I get tired of feeling like I have to perform when I can't get into it. Do I go through with the marriage when I feel this way? In all other ways we are as perfect for each other as two people can be. Any suggestions?

Signed,
Oversexed Fiance

I say go through with the marriage. If after nine years of sexual incompatibility, you still love the lusty lady, I would say give the marriage a try. But you two need to find out why she needs sex all the time. If sex is something she needs to do, instead of something that both of you want to do, then she needs to examine what sex symbolizes for her.

Is she afraid of losing you, and sex is her way of connecting? Spend some time with your mate trying to work out these issues and come to a compromise that feels good to both of you.

Sincerely,
Jenny


I'm a 24 old woman and I've been with my boyfriend for more than three years. We have lived together for one year but we aren't getting married. I like him a lot and, sure, I love him too. There isn't much of a passion between us anymore we're happy living together. Now I have found myself thinking about another man. He's my age (my boyfriend is 2 years younger than me) and we are attracted to each other. I haven't seen him for 3 months, only talked to him on the phone a couple of times. He always tells me how he would be interested in dating if my boyfriend and I broke up. I would like to see if this guy is the "One" for me or explore other options, but I don't know how! I don't want to hurt my boyfriend, he is my best friend. I feel like such a turncoat! On the other hand, I don't want to wonder all the time what it could be with the other guy. What should I do? I am at a loss.

Signed,
Turncoat in Toranto

It sounds like you want to live with a boyfriend you luke-warm love, and you want to explore other "options" with the guy from work. You will need to chose one or the other, but remember, you can't have it both ways! It will be difficult, but you will have to decide.

Take a moment and think about what you want for yourself. Think about what kind of relationship you want right now and what you would like three years from now. Think it over for a bit, and include your boyfriend, as I am sure he has a perspective to share. You may decide that you can't "have your cake and eat it too", because it will be very, very, messy.

Best Wishes,
Jenny

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