Pop quiz hot shot! What is something that nobody likes yet everybody does? The answere my son, eat cake. How on earth did we manage to make something that we dislike such a strong part of our culture and nobody speaks up on it? Cultural traditions should be things that are enjoyed by those who participate in them. Not something we pretend to like because we're told that were supposed to.

  On several occasions a year some sort of event goes down that we celebrate. Now the celebration isn't what I'm against. But how do we celebrate special occasions here in America? The greatest country in the world? We eat. Thats right folks. We eat. It's our way of scoffing at all the other countries. We tell them to take their starving ethiopian asses, and their nasty ass rice, and their little crumpets, and shove them all up their ass! Cause we're in America! The land of food!

  Now your sitting back and asking yourself...whats his beef? Do I have a problem with eating? No...no. Not at all. It's what we eat. In a land where you can get your hands on ANY edible object imaginable, what do we choose to stuff our faces with? Cake. Now is it sinking in? That's right...we eat cake. But I must ask...WHY? Why in the hell would anyone eat cake? Of all things...cake?

  The thing is you probably don't even know that you don't like cake. Since it's been force fed to you since your birth, you've never given it much thought. But yet every year when our birthdays rolls around we choose to eat that nasty breaded up crap. But it's not just for Birthdays. Weddings, Retirement partys, you name it. But think about this for a moments. What's the best part of the cake? That's right...the icing. You would throw away the rest of the cake if it wasn't rude to just go through and scrape off all the icing. But then everyone else would just be left over with that other crap and NOBODY wants that.

  Now of course I'm not suggesting that we ban out the eating portion of our celebrations. I just feel we should replace it with an alternative rather than cake. With what you ask? The answere is simple my little golden minions. Pie. Everyone loves pie! There's a type of Pie for EVERYBODY! You've got your pumpkin, your chocolate, your cherry, your coconut, and of course...Puntang. (But we wont get into the ladder) I don't care who you are there are hundreds of varieties of pies and I'll be damned if theres not one for you.

  For about the last four years I have refused any sort of cake on my birthday. Only pie. And now nobody in my family celebrates anything with cake. Cause they, much like many of your in the near future, have seen the light. They now know the error in their ways. They know that pie is the way to go. So as you can see it is possible to make a change. You too can play an important role in the pie revolution. People just have to be shown the right path and trust me they will be more than happy to travel that way. I have done all I can do here. Now you must go and do your part. We will change the world one overgrown cupcake at a time!

  Until next time...I'm Dan-O & don't mind me...I'm just rambling.