Woody Allen

- "A low neckline is something you look down upon and approve at the same time."

Anon

- "The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less."

Brendan Francis

- "Old age isn't so bad, when you consider the alternative."

Anon

- "A man who is old enough to know better is always on the look out for a girl who doesn't."

Anon

- "At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual."

Astronomer Partick Moore

- "It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."

Woody Allen

- "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."

Keppel Enderbery

- "Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least."

Robert Byrne

- "If English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for them Mexicans."

Texas Politician

- "It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago..."

Dan Quayle

- "It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another."

George Bush

- "I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions --but I don't always agree with them."

George Bush

- "In America any boy may become President and I suspose it's just one of the risks he takes."

Adlai Stevenson

- "I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."

Dan Quayle

- "They say that TV is still in its infancy, which probably explains why you have to get up so often to change it."

Anon

- "Every time we listen to the top fifty records we shudder to think what the bottom fifty must sound like."

C. Street