Worlds of diminished light - a spoof
A spoof of worlds of darkness caused by the place being so bloody depressing
(just a little bit of fun)
Three Rooms Of Diminished Light.
When God created the world, he stepped back and said
”Let there be light!”
And there was light. And all was well, the angel’s went on doing sweet FA in heaven (and loving it), while man dragged himself from the primordial ooze (not to mention a whole shit load of evolution). One Angel was not content doing nothing, however, the angel of music Lucifer, and with his press agent Baal, he set to scheming.
Centuries later, when all of his scheming was done, Satan, the angel formerly known as Lucifer delivered to God a letter.
“What’s this?” Said the divine one.
“Open it and find out.” The smug Angel spake
Behold, unto God, Satan had bestowed a bill for 3 millennia of light useage!
“What!!!!!!! You can’t charge me for light! You bastard!”
“Yes I can oh divine one…… I copyrighted it!”
“What in the seven buggering hells is a copyright!?” The outraged deity demanded.
Unto the lord, Satan did show the marvel of the copyright agency which he had set up on Earth.
“And you remember that whole as it is on Earth so shall it be crap….. eh?” Satan nudged God.
“You total bastard! Im not paying you a medamned penny!”
“Right then! As is my right as the owner of the rights to light, I shall plunge your world into darkness! Mu Ha HA HA!”
Satan, mercifully, had laughed too soon. His scheming had not gone unnoticed by one angel, Agrippa, Angel of double pp’s. Determined to prove himself worthy of a more illustrious posting, Agrippa had set his own plan into motion. Now that Satan had played his card, Agrippa stepped into the fray.
“Oh lucy….” he taunted
“Its Satan now you git! Im tired of people making fun of my name!”
“Whatever you’re called, you owe me 1,000,000 pounds.”
“What the crap!? How did you work that out?”
“Well in that contract you’re waving around, you mention the word darkness 5000 times, and I think you’ll find….. I copyrighted darkness.”
Satan was awestruck. Not only had his pocket money been well and truly shagged from behind, but he could no longer carry out his threat to plunge the world into Darkness tm.
“Damn you both!!! Its my contractual right, I will plunge you into Dark…… I mean I will plunge you into a state of diminished light!!!!!! I will find a way!”
“No you won’t, Darkness and all of its derivative works are mine and mine alone.”
Satan fled in outrage to hell, which, being comprised totally of fire, is the lightest place in existence, and was thus a good place to restore his finances. There he plotted and schemed of a way to bring about the age of diminished light. God was well pleased with Agrippa.
“My child, you really saved my bacon there, you need a promotion. As well as being the noble angel of double p’s, you will also now be the angel of darkness!”
Agrippa was over the moon with this new job, but realised that it came with grave responsibility. He travelled to Earth in order to keep watch over Satan and prevent the coming of the age of diminished light. In time, Agrippa found that Human beings could also be useful in protecting the world, and so he founded Darkness incorporated.
DARKNESS INC.
Darkness Inc on the surface appears to be a law firm of considerable wealth (as you might expect from a company which owns the rights to all darkness and states of low light, everywhere.), but it is in fact a front for an elite group of individuals who challenge the forces of Satan. Darkness Inc recruits from all the major species and supernatural entities of the world (except changelings, who are crap) and offers training and vast amounts of cash.
They have secret bases all around the world, as well as their law firm fronts in every major city. Thanks to vast sums of money and multiple lawsuits against every government in the world for illegal use of darkness, Darkness inc operates from a position of privileged authority. Investigative teams scour the world for the forces of Satan whom they destroy and serve with lawsuits.
The Satan Institute For The Bringing About Of An Age Of Diminished Light
Few know the true evil at work behind this group, who appear on the surface to be a record label, selling goth, techno, metal, and pop music at cut prices. Not even darkness inc suspect that this seemingly innocent enterprise is in fact an organisation for the bringing about of the age of diminished light.
Like Darkness inc, this evil group recruits from all walks of life (except for changelings, who are crap.), and is similarly rich due to the abundance of light (to which it owns the rights), and the bizarre popularity of techno and pop. Its elite breakdance and rave attack squads scour the world for a means to bring about the long awaited age of diminished light.
