One Heartbeat - Chapter Two
Ferryn woke the next morning to the smell of freshly brewed coffee. She padded down the hallway softly, clad in her pink pajama pants and tank top. She stopped short just in front on her niece's bedroom. The scene before her made her heart flutter. Her sister was sitting in the rocker holding Star close to her chest as she nursed her. Her brother-in-law knelt beside Raluca watching with adoring eyes as he'd smile and lean forward. He brushed a kiss against his wife's lips lovingly before running a soft hand over his daughter's hair.
Ferryn bit her lip. She tried to will away the emptiness she felt as she looked on. A part of her wanted exactly what was standing in front of her. She just wasn't sure if she was willing to put everything on the line to have it. She quickly brushed away the tears that had fallen from her green eyes. She briskly walked to the bathroom and shut the door, ignoring the ringing of her cell phone from the guest bedroom. She let out a sigh that held so many emotions... emotions that she realized she'd have to sort out sooner or later.
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Tom stood by the bar, trying to drown out the noisy sounds of the club. The release party was in full swing for the soundtrack he'd worked on. He sipped his drink glumly as he looked around. He didn't want to be there. He didn't want to be dressed up. He was about five minutes from walking out the door when a silky pair of arms slipped around his neck. He felt warm lips next to his ear, sending a cascade of shivers down his spine.
"And I thought this party was going to be boring." Ferryn whispered seductively, letting her lips linger for a second.
Tom turned around quickly. His eyes glinted in the most gorgeous way. Ferryn looked over his attire for the evening. He was looking quite dapper in his gray dress slacks and black button down shirt adorned with a silver tie. He looked amazing.
"The last minute flight was well worth it." Ferryn thought to herself.
He stood there for a second, unable to move or speak. He opened his arms to her and spoke two little words that made her heart nearly beat out of her chest. "Come here."
Ferryn immediately fell into his open arms and he wrapped them around her tightly. She lay her head on his shoulder and inhaled the scent that could only belong to Tom. "I missed you, Tom. I missed you so much."
"Me too, Ferryn. So much. I've been so busy that I -"
Ferryn pressed a small finger to his lips. "You have nothing to explain. I've been just as busy as I'm sure you have. You're not under any kind of contract to call me."
"But I wanted to. Every time I'd get a free second to call, something would come up or I'd catch your voice mail. I just- I've been thinking about a lot of things."
Ferryn tensed nervously but didn't move out of his embrace. "Yeah?"
He cleared his throat and nodded. He stalled as his eyes swam over her outfit. It was something he'd never seen her in. She wore black dress pants with a dark purple high necked halter top. The silky fabric hung loosely around her. Her feet were adorned with black heels and her golden brown curls cascaded around her bare shoulders. "You look good, Ferryn. Really good."
She blushed and suddenly felt warm as his eyes gazed over her. "Thanks, Tom. You're not so bad yourself."
Ferryn could tell he was about to speak but was interrupted by the deep boom of Sam's voice behind her. She jumped back from Tom's arms as if she were caught doing something wrong, and tried to put on her best confident smile. "Ferryn, I'm glad you made it!" Sam beamed.
"I figured it was the least I could to after putting so much work into the project. I'm happy to be here."
He nodded once and took a sip from his wine glass. "Tom, good to see you."
"And you as well Sam. How are you?" Tom asked, shaking his hand.
"Doing well. I'm going to go mingle. You two enjoy yourselves." Sam winked before he walked away.
Tom turned to Ferryn. "Come with me for a second. I want to introduce you to someone."
Ferryn nodded and followed Tom. Tom too her hand in his as they walked over to a small area of black leather couches with small tables sitting in front of them. Tom got the attention of a tall, long-legged man before he turned back to Ferryn. "Ferryn, this is my brother, Bill Kaulitz. He's the ultimate smartass of West Village. Bill, this is Ferryn Phillips."
They both smiled at another and shook hands courteously. "Nice to meet you, Ferryn. I've heard a lot about you."
"Likewise." She smiled, taking a seat beside Tom. His hand never left hers and she didn't dare pull away.
They chatted casually, taking in the atmosphere around them as the night went on. Ferryn found herself mingling with all of the producers she had worked with, as well as musicians who had lent their talents for the soundtrack. It felt good to be in the scene again. It was the one thing she loved more then the air she breathed.
Some time later, her drink had been empty and people had trailed off in their own separate ways when she felt Tom come up behind her. His hand was warm and heavy against the small of her back. "Wanna dance?"
Ferryn tilted her head back and smiled. "Sure. I'm not the best dancer though."
"This isn't a competition." He laughed as her pulled her to the dance floor. The evening had died down considerably and the music had lost a little bit of its boldness, giving it a soft jazz feel.
Tom's hands immediately went to Ferryn's hips as hers wrapped around his neck. "Having fun?" He asked.
Ferryn nodded. "A blast. I'm so glad I came."
He leaned a little closer. "I am too. More than you'll ever know." His voice right against her ear caused chills to form up her arms as they swayed to the music. "But you know what I've wanted to do all night?" He asked as his nose nuzzled her neck.
"What?" She smiled.
His hands moved up to her sides, stopping at the top of her ribs. He moved his lips down to her neck. They brushed her neck softly as he spoke. "I've wanted to kiss you. I've wanted to have your body pressed up against mine like it is now. I've wanted to hear you whimper, knowing you want it too."
Ferryn nearly moaned at his final confession. She tilted her head back, giving him better access to continue his attack on her neck. His lips moved up to her jaw before they finally met hers in a bone shattering kiss. His tongue dove into her mouth. She moaned softly as she arched against him.
He gently tugged at her lips, pulling her upper lip between his before pulling away, taking deep gasps of air. Ferryn looked up at him, her eyes glassed over with passion. She cleared her throat and her fingers dropped to his shoulders as she breathed in deep.
Tom ran a hand up her back. He couldn't get the feel of her lips out of his head nor could he push away the array of emotions that were running through him. They moved slowly to the music, neither speaking. They just lingered in the silence. Both of them had things to say but they knew that this wasn't the time nor the place. Tom barely had time to contemplate the wheels ticking in his head before his brother tapped him on the shoulder.
"Tom, I don't mean to interrupt but some guy was looking for you a second ago. Says he works for some record label and wants to talk to you. I thought it might be important."
Tom pulled away from Ferryn for a second. He smiled at her and smiling softly. "I'll be right back." He said as he walked away.
She nodded and followed Bill over to the area of they'd been seated at earlier.
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And hour later, Tom came back in a rush. He looked around the club anxiously. His eyes went directly to his brother, who was deep in conversation with a blonde while he sipped his beer. "Bill, have you seen Ferryn?"
He nodded toward his brother. "Yeah, she left. Said she was tired and she'd talk to you later."
Tom groaned. "Damn it. Did she say where she was staying?"
"No, I'm sorry."
Tom nodded, his face pinched up in annoyance. He suddenly felt that Ferryn was running from him.
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Ferryn paced her hotel room in gray sweatpants and black tank top. It was late and she should have been sleeping, especially with the time difference, but her mind lingered on one thing and one thing only. Her cell phone vibrated against the bedside stand. She walked over and glanced at it, smiling at the name that flashed across the screen.
"Hello?" She asked.
"Ferryn, I'm sorry it's late. Did I wake you?"
She glanced back at the TV that was on before answering. "No, Tom. You didn't."
"Why'd you leave?"
"Tired, I guess." She replied casually.
"Want me to let you go?" He asked, hoping she wouldn't say yes.
"No. What are you up to?"
"Not much really. Driving. Sorry it took me forever tonight. The man wouldn't stop talking. I was hoping we could spend a little more time together." He flashed his turn signal before switching lanes.
"I just kind of felt out of place. Decided to go." Ferryn shrugged.
"I'm sure you fit right in with those people, Ferryn. You just have to give it time."
"I know."
"You okay? You sound upset or lost or something."
"Just thinking."
"About?" He laughed softly. He shook his head, even though she couldn't see him.
"Stuff." She laughed back.
"Do I have to come drag it out of you? Where did Miss Sassy Pants go?"
Ferryn laughed. "She's here. She just had all of her sass taken tonight when someone kissed the breath out of her."
Tom laughed louder. "Oh, yeah?"
"Don't fish for compliments. I kinda wanted to talk about that."
"Me too." Tom whispered.
Ferryn turned as she heard a knock on the door. "Tom, hang on a second, okay?"
"Alright." He said as he waited.
Ferryn pulled the phone away from her ear and opened the door. Her eyes widened with surprise. There Tom stood in all of his glory, looking better than Ferryn had ever remembered seeing him. At that moment all thoughts, reservations and discussions slipped from her mind.
He stood there, smiling an innocent grin. "You wanted to talk about tonight?" He asked, arching one eyebrow in question.
"I'd rather get a quick refresher course before I discuss anything." She said before she shook her head. She took a step forward and grabbed him by the silver tie he wore. She pulled him into her hotel room, slamming the door behind them. She pulled his lips to hers and he gasped in surprise, enjoying the sudden boldness she suddenly had.
Tom backed her against the door as his hands came up to cup her jaw. He captured her lips once again and his mouth took on a mind of its own. His tongue captured hers and they began a dance between their lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and giggled as he lifted her against the door. Her legs immediately wrapped around his slender waist. He pulled his lips away from hers long enough to graze her neck, loving it with his lips and tongue. Ferryn closed her eyes and moaned softly. He dipped his head down, tracing the scoop of her tank top. His hands sneaked up the hem of her shirt as his fingers skillfully grazed her breasts. He pulled back and he lay his forehead against hers. He whispered, his breath falling delicately over Ferryn's face. "Open your eyes."
She opened her eyes to gaze into his fierce brown orbs. "What?"
"We really need to talk, don't you think?"
Ferryn took a deep breath as the sudden sexual haze slowly faded. He was right. She was in no position to go any further, even though her body was telling her differently.
"Yeah, we do." She nodded.
Her arms went around him tightly once again as he pulled them away from the door. Her legs were still around his waist as he lay them on the bed. Tom fell gently on top of her. He groaned at the feeling of him pressing against her. It only intensified what he really wanted to do. Ferryn felt it and suddenly felt guilty. She threw a hand over her eyes in frustration. "I'm sorry. We keep doing this and you're getting no relief from it. You're probably thinking I'm the world's biggest tease."
Tom situated himself, resting his chin between her breasts. He pulled her hand away from her face and laced his fingers with hers. "No, I don't. You have no reason to be sorry. If I wanted a good lay I could go find any random girl." She blinked back at him, studying his features. "But I want you. When it's right for the both of us."
She brought her free hand to the side of his face. "You want me, Tom? Why? Out of all the gorgeous girls here, why me?"
He shook his head, "I can't believe you'd even ask me that. You are gorgeous." He stood up and removed his clothes quickly, saving his boxers. He lay down beside her and pressed a soft kiss to her shoulder. "I swear, you have the silkiest skin." He said as he continued his journey going south on her body. He lifted the tank top she wore, exposing her stomach to his hungry eyes and kissed the skin around her belly button. "So soft." He murmured.
Ferryn laughed nervously. Tom pulled his head back as his lips came in contact with the elastic band of her pants. "Tom, stop."
"What's wrong?"
"I'm just not ready to do this." She waved her hand in the air aimlessly, hoping he'd understand. "I have concerns and there are so many uncertainties between you and me."
He looked at her and his face turned serious. "I've been tested, Ferryn. For STD's. I'd never do something like that to you." He kissed her cheek tenderly. "But if it'd make you feel better, I'll do it again."
"I'd like that. Just in case. I'm just not ready to commit to anything. I would even get tested to. It's only fair."
He nodded. "So we've got that settled. What else is on your mind?"
Ferryn laughed, then almost wanted to cry with the heaviness that one question held. "Distance. I have no idea what the future holds and if or when I'll be here a lot. I just- I'm not sure about any of this."
"Hey, now." He sat up. He slid up against the headboard of the bed and pulled her beside him. His arms wrapped tightly around her shoulders. "We can take this slow. I'm not asking you to commit to anything this second. I just- I find myself thinking about you at odd times of the day. I can't even explain what went through my mind when I turned around tonight and you were there. God, Ferryn, it's like everything in my world was right at that moment . You were there and all I wanted was you. Ever since I've met you, you've put this new perspective in my life. When I went through the deal with my ex, I'll admit I was a mess. I pretty much gave up on everything. I hid in my music like a zombie. Like you said the night I left Greenville, I heal you and you heal me. I feel something with you that I thought I'd shut out of my life, Ferryn. I think we owe it to ourselves to try. You're this gorgeous, sassy songwriter/producer from Greenville that has made me see things a different way. I just want a chance. A chance at loving someone again."
He looked into her eyes. She blinked and found them flooding with tears. He ran the pad of his thumb underneath them, carefully wiping them away. "Wow. You're always so sure of everything, Tom. But you're right. You've healed me in ways I never knew possible. I just need to catch up on other aspects"
He smiled, cupping her chin. "I'll be here. I promise."
"How are you so great? I don't get it. I've never met anyone like you."
Tom grinned and pulled her closer to him. "Is that a good thing?"
She shoved playfully at his chest but only ended up on top of him as he moved to lay down flat in the bed. She laughed as he followed suit. "Yes, Tom. It's a good thing. You have this patience with people that I've never known anyone to have. You mean well most of the time." His hands came up to cup her face as her hair cascaded around them. "The way you kiss should be illegal. It turns me into a pool of goo and I hate that. I hate not being in control. I hate the fact that I'd rather sleep in your arms then anywhere else. And I hate the fact that you smell so damn good all the time probably without even trying. And now you've stripped down to nearly nothing looking like sex on a platter and here I am being Little Miss Do The Right Thing."
He laughed at that and reached up to kiss her long and deep. "Sex on a platter, huh? Want me to find a 24 hour place that does those kind of tests? Because I will since you put it that way, not that I can't say the same about you Miss Phillips."
She settled down on his chest as he reached down and pulled the covers over them, then turned off the bedside lamp. He turned and brushed his lips to her forehead, content with where he was. "Don't tempt me, Kaulitz." she warned.
"I'd never do that. Night."
She tucked herself against his neck and breathed in deep, taking pleasure and comfort in the scent she could only find there. "Night, Tom."
His big hands stilled on her back. "Can I tell you something without you freaking out?"
"What's that?" She questioned.
"I just wanted to say that as a person and for everything you are and what we could become -"
Ferryn interrupted Tom. She turned in his arms as she rolled over and kissed him fervently. "I love you too, Tom."
He pulled away, his eyes wide an grinning like a child. "I do love you. A lot."
Her mind had finally settled and her nerves calmed considerably after her conversation with Tom. Finally she decided it was okay to put the past behind her and give those wonderful things in life another chance. Ferryn placed her hand on Tom's chest, feeling the strong heartbeat beneath it. She suddenly felt she had what it took. She was ready to began new chapter in her life and had a feeling Tom would be closely by her side regardless of the distance.
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Ferryn woke to the bright Los Angeles sun filling the room of her hotel room. Tucked tightly against her bed mate, she stared at him as he slept on. Last night's events came flooding back into her memory, screaming in vivid color. Things with Tom had taken on the rolls of complicated and confusing. It seemed all relationships were like that at some point but this was different. She was a born and raised southern girl and definitely not used to the hustle and bustle of LA. In a matter of months, she'd been swept into a world that was nothing like her own.
She knew she'd never fit in as a true LA girl. She found her relationship with Tom harder to fathom in terms of reality. She didn't want to be just a convenient romp whenever she was in town and she also didn't want to lose her professionalism. She had worked to hard to get to where she was to throw it all away for 'some producer' but she knew Tom meant so much more to her then that.
Ferryn valued her friendship with him. She found that each time she spent with Tom, in or out of the studio, she liked him more as a person. So far he had proved to be sweet and understanding. He was a little shy at times but never held back what he was feeling. If it all ended tomorrow and she never stepped foot in California again, she wanted to leave with knowing Tom would always be a friend to her. People like him are something you don't just throw away. In the end, there's always that fine line you cross between being a friend and being a lover.
Ferryn propped herself up on an elbow and took the time to inspect Tom from a closer level. He never stirred. He slept with one arm to his side and the other had been firmly wrapped around her shoulders. His chiseled cheekbones set the structure of his face and made him look unlike any man she'd ever found herself in bed with, not that there had been many.
His lips were slightly parted as he breathed in and out softly. Her eyes ventured lower to where the comforter had fallen down baring half his chest. Ferryn took the opportunity to run her hand across it, testing the feel. From there her hand ran up his shoulders, muscular and strong. Cautiously, she traced his jaw with her finger, traveling over his soft lips. He smiled at her touch and she felt his lips kiss her finger. She gasped as the pulled away. He opened his brown eyes and grinned up at her.
"Are you molesting me?" He laughed, his voice thick with sleep.
Ferryn felt her cheeks turn pink but knew she had nothing to be ashamed of. "No. Just getting a closer look. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."
He grabbed the hand that had been touching him only seconds before and laced his fingers with hers. "Don't apologize." He stated as he ran his thumb over her fingers in a circular motion. He pulled her back down and kissed her softly. He smiled into the kiss, happy to be where he was. "Now that's more like it. Good morning, Ferryn. How did you sleep?"
She looked up at him, eyes dazed and clouded over. "I slept well, as I usually do when I'm around you."
His grin was cocky and every bit male. "What can I say? I guess I just have a gift."
Ferryn rolled her eyes and smacked his chest playfully. "Whatever, Kaulitz. Don't flatter yourself. You might hurt yourself."
Tom laughed and sat up against the headboard, stretching as he went. "Ouch. Looks like the sassy Miss Phillips is back."
Ferryn took the opportunity to straddle his lap and sit down with heavy plop, causing Tom to groan out loud. He swallowed, wondering what she had up her sleeve. "You asked for it, Kaulitz."
"Yeah, yeah. As always. So I never got around to asking last night. How long are you here for?" He ran his hands down her back. He stopped them on the small of her back and locked his hands together there.
"Honestly, I have no idea. I just booked a one way flight once I decided to drag myself to the release party. I figured I'd play it by ear once I got here."
Tom grinned and leaned in close, his lips almost touching hers. "Are you saying I get to keep you for a while?"
Ferryn grinned. "Perhaps."
Tom sighed. "Say more things in that direction."
"Maybe. Possibly."
Tom scoffed and began to nip at her neck, causing her to bust out laughing.
"More towards the possibly direction." Finally deciding he'd had enough torture. She pulled his head back so she could look directly at him and brought his lips to hers in a slow, deep kiss. She pulled her head back finally, her passion filled eyes met his. "Yes. You get to keep me for a while."
His grin was more sincere than she'd ever seen in and it made her heart flutter. Her pulled her closer to him as he he wrapped his arms around her. He kissed her once more, a simple, soft and sweet gesture of thanks. "I'm glad. I want to spend time with you. Why don't you just check out of here and come stay with me for a while? I told you I wanted to show you LA sometime."
"Tom." The thought of staying with Tom, in his house scared the shit out of her. She didn't know where things were going but knew she'd never make a rationalized decision if she were tempted twenty-four seven.
"Relax, Ferryn. I'm not going to jump you. We're friends too, you know." He smiled at her.
"I know. It's just- I don't know. It's all so sudden. I don't want to tumble into this and make a wrong decision."
"Then think about it. It could be good for you to relax for a bit. Don't even lie and tell me you haven't been working constantly. You could use a break here and there."
Deep down Ferryn knew the longer she stayed, the harder it'd be to leave. It also meant the more her heart would outweigh her final decision on what it meant for the two of them and what it would all come down to. Just for now, she decided to ignore her mind and enjoy the time she spent in LA with Tom. She would give it a chance to see where it could go. It'd be like a vacation of sorts. Like a refreshing of souls and trip down a road she hadn't taken in a while and that involved letting someone else get close to her heart.
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Ferryn looked around hesitantly as Tom led her up to the steps of his house. He insisted she come over and they spend the day together but for some reason she couldn't stop the nervous feeling that kept nagging her. Crossing the threshold and stepping foot into Tom's home just seemed to make things more set in stone. As lame as it sounded, a person's home opened you up to more information than one would have thought. His life was behind these walls, as well as secrets and memories.
Tom tugged her along and gave her a wink, trying to reassure her that he didn't have any kind of weird things laying around. Sometimes it bothered her that he read her so clearly, almost as if he'd say the things he knew she never would.
"Come on, I swear it's just a house. Stop worrying." He said as he unlocked the door.
She was quick to answer, denying he was right. "I'm not scared." She tipped her chin up in a prideful notch. "I just don't want your brother assuming things about me."
Tom chuckled. "Like what? That I stayed with you last night and we make wild, passionate love all night?"
"Way to go for the kill!" She rolled her eyes at him and followed him into the house. He led her into the kitchen and tossed his keys on the counter. He pulled her into him before he kissed her forehead.
"Don't worry about Bill. He told me already that he thinks you're cool and I promise I haven't said a word about you that would make him think anything out of sorts."
"Good. I'm not a whore and I'd appreciate it if all of LA didn't think so. Believe it or not, not everyone in this city is the same."
"I know that, Ferryn. Really, don't even worry about it. Do you want something to drink?" He asked, walking toward the fridge. She nodded. He pulled out two bottles of water and handed one to her before he took her hand and led her down the hallway. "I hope you don't mind but I'd really like to take a quick shower and change, seeing as I'm in the same clothes from last night."
"Sure. I can just wait out here."
"Don't be silly. My bedroom has a bathroom in it. You can watch TV in there or something while you wait. I promise I'll be quick."
"Okay. If you say so." She said as she followed him to his room.
She looked around at the king size bed and the natural blue colors his room was decorated in. It certainly didn't look anything like she'd expected. The room honestly looked homey and relaxing. She was deep in though but his comment quickly knocked her from her reverie.
"Unless you wanted to join me." He smirked, tugging at his tie to remove it. That was followed by his shirt as he kicked off his shoes.
Ferryn rolled her eyes. She was seriously considering the idea but she knew in the end, it'd only make things more difficult and leave Tom in more pain than it did herself. "Don't tempt me, Kaulitz." She took a seat on the edge of his large bed.
"Be tempted, Miss Phillips." He walked over to her and handed her the remote to his flat screen TV. He placed a quick kiss on her uncertain face, trying to soothe away her worry lines. "I'll be just a few minutes. Holler if you need me or feel free to jump in too." He sent a smile over his shoulder before walking into the bathroom and closing the door.
Ferryn shook her head but couldn't help but to smile at his antics. She wondered what it would be like to toss all her worries aside and just go with it for once. She knew she was attracted to Tom and that he was attracted to her but the adult in her just couldn't break that boundary until she knew this was what she wanted and was one hundred percent sure he was clean. It only took a second and one wrong decision to ruin things. She had watched it happen to friends of hers. She decided against her nagging thoughts and flipped through the channels finally settling on an older episode of [i]Friends[/i].
It wasn't long before the door Tom had exited through opened up and a thick gust of steam escaped. A gorgeous looking Tom, clad in nothing but a towel entered the bedroom. Any female would have to be blind to not notice him.
He smiled softly at her before going into his walk-in closet. He appeared a short time later dressed in loose fitting jeans and plain gray T-shirt. He left his feet bare and his braids still looked damp. He reached for her hand and gently tugged her toward the door. "Told you I wouldn't be long. Come on. I'm taking you on a tour of the house."
Tom walked all around his home, showing Ferryn all the typical areas. He watched as she took in each room, her eyes widening at times. He could have sworn he saw her drool a little at the black baby grand piano that sat just before the living room, overlooking all of Hollywood. He watched her spazz out, as he knew she would, when he showed her his balcony. It took her several moments to regain the strength to talk. She was truly speechless. He simply smiled at her appreciation for nature and all the things it had to offer.
He saved his studio for last, knowing out of all people, Ferryn would appreciate it the most. He led her down the stairs and into a little room. He watched as she took it all in.
"So here we have my home away from home." He took a seat in the black computer chair watching her soak it all in. Ferryn looked around cautiously. She noted he had several keyboards laying around as well as guitars laying neatly in stands against the wall.
"This is awesome, Tom. I'm jealous!" She didn't know where to sit so finally decided to walk over to the black leather couch tucked against the far wall. Everything looked so expensive, she feared breaking it.
"You know you're welcome here anytime."
"I'll keep that in mind. So are you going to play me something, Mr. Producer?"
"Pshh, look who's talking. I guess I can dazzle you with something if I have to." He clicked on the computer in front of him and chose his track carefully. "This is a demo I just finished for someone."
Ferryn listened eagerly, melting at the smooth tone of his voice. It immediately brought chills to her skin that she didn't expect. She'd heard him sing before nothing like his. His voice took on a bit of fierceness that eventually ended on a softer note. The message was clear that someone had done him wrong and left him hurt. She simply stared in awe as he moved back and forth in his chair, nervously running his hands up and down his jeans.
"Is speechless a good sign?" He asked, giving her a nervous chuckle.
"Yes. That was amazing, Tom. I have chills!"
"Thanks. That means a lot coming from you."
She got up and walked toward him. She took a seat on his lap as she encircled his neck and stared down at him. "I still don't understand why a man with the talent and a voice like that isn't making music by himself for the world to hear."
His face suddenly went solemn. "That was the past. I'm fine where I am now."
Ferryn took his face in her hands. "Hey, you are amazing, Tom. You have a talent that not a lot of artists out there have. I think you lost confidence in yourself. You just need to gain in back. Whatever happened back then couldn't have been that bad."
He shook his head, trying to surpass the conversation. "I don't wanna think about that right now. I'm more interested in what just crawled into my lap." He smirked, moving his hands up her back as he caressed her skin.
"Oh, yeah?" Ferryn smiled, raising an eyebrow.
His lips moved to her neck, nipping softly at the skin. Moving up to her lips, he caught them between his own, taking control and showing no intention of letting up.
Ferryn did her best to turn in his lap. She became a full participant as he dove his hands into her curls. She pulled apart, smirking at him. "Way to change the subject, Kaulitz."
He silenced her quickly with two fingers. "Less talking, more kissing." He pulled her against him, trying to get her closer. He let out a groan of frustration when it proved impossible. Taking matters into his own hands, he wrapped his arms around her waist and stood, carrying her with him. He pinned her down on the couch across the room.
Ferryn giggled as he began his assault again. He went right for her chest and moved to nip at her ear lobe. "I thought we discussed this, Tom. This isn't going to be comfortable for you."
He pulled away from her for a second, gazing softly into her eyes. "Stop thinking this is all about sex, Ferryn. How many times do I have to tell you that's not what I'm all about? Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I like kissing you or just being close to you? We can stop if you want."
He pulled back a little but still remained close. Ferryn suddenly felt like a jerk but thought it was only fair to remind him that where they were headed wouldn't have the final outcome he'd hoped for. She saw more and more of a hurt and lonely man in Tom at that moment and in the short time she'd come to his house.
Looking into his eyes, she decided to throw logic out the window and let him feel what he wanted. She felt it too, in each brush of his lips and each sweep of his fingers. Carefully, she traced the features of his face kissed him softly once.
"I'm sorry, Tom. I'm just not used to men having restraint on things like this." She kissed him again, this time letting her lips linger a little longer than the time before. "And I like kissing you, and being close to you." She could feel him smile against her lips. "But this is all so confusing and we're about to make things a lot more complicated."
"Why does everything have to be complicated? Let's not over think this, Ferryn. Just live in the moment. For once, don't second guess this."
"Okay. One on condition." Ferryn kissed him quickly, looking up at him to make sure she had his full attention. "Later, we're going to talk about things. Please don't shut me out."
Tom suddenly felt defeated. He kissed the skin reveled by the scoop of her tank top. "You mean you want to hear why I don't sing anymore, don't you?"
It was a simple confirmation. "Yes."
"Give me time, Ferryn. It's a part of me I've tucked away."
"I'm right here, Tom. I'm not going anywhere."
"Good. You're where I need you to be." He moved deeper into her awaiting embrace as Ferryn's arms came around him, holding him close, trying to absorb this new side of him.
It was then she knew that whatever had happened with his music was a sore spot in his past. She wondered if her confidence in him could give him a new outlook and encourage Tom to rethink things in the present. She'd witnessed his talent first hand, now it was time for Tom to see it for himself.
-----------------------------
"Did you bring your camera?" Tom asked Ferryn as he emerged from his bedroom. He was decked out in a green T-shirt, jeans and dark sunglasses.
"Yeah. Why?" Ferryn answered from her position on the couch.
"Grab it. I'm taking you somewhere." He smiled as he walked over and grabbed her hand. "I promise you'll like it."
Her face clouded with confusion. "If you say so."
-----------------------------
Ferryn sat quietly in the passenger seat of Tom's Audi, taking in the scenery around her. The music from the radio was from a contemporary station. It set a quiet mood for their drive. She still had no idea where they were going as the car ascended a hill. She suddenly felt out of her zone. Tom had mentioned he wanted to show her around LA and she was excited to let him.
When the car finally halted, he quickly got out of the car to open her door. "Close your eyes." He said as he reached for her hand.
"Yeah, right. I don't know where we are. You could have brought me here to kill me."
He rolled his eyes and laughed softly. "Oh please. If I was gonna kill you, I'd have done it already. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. Just humor me and do it."
She sighed and closed her eyes. Her left hand rested on the camera bag at her side as her right hand outstretched for Tom's awaiting hand. "Don't throw me off a cliff, Kaulitz."
Tom laughed as they started down a dirt path. "I'm appalled that you think I'd ever do that." After a few minutes they came to a stop. "Open your eyes."
Ferryn gasped at the view that met her eyes. They were standing at the edge of a fenced cliff. Below them lay the most beautiful view of the ocean she'd ever seen. The palm trees in the distance set the tone for the blue and white waves that crashed down below. She was at a loss for words so she simply stared wide-eyed and mouth agape in awe.
"I'll take your silence as a good thing." Tom smiled.
She turned to him as her eyes glistened with tears. She launched herself toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck in a tight hug. "This is amazing, Tom. I don't even have the words to explain it. It's gorgeous! Thank you for bringing me here."
He placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "I know how much you love scenery. How could I not show you this? It's one of my favorite places in the world."
Ferryn stepped back and reached for her camera. "Thank you." She said before she started her photo session.
He nodded and watched as she adjusted the settings on her lens before she began snapping away. He couldn't help but grin at her. He knew how much she appreciated things like this. "Will I be seeing one of these photos on the 'famous wall' at Casa de Ferryn?"
"Yes, you probably will. I'm seriously in awe. I could sit here forever."
"Have you ever considered moving to LA?" Tom asked quietly.
Ferryn stopped what she was doing and turned to look at him. "Not really. No."
Her answer was simple but it hit Tom like a ton of bricks. It would certainly make the theory of "them" a little easier to fathom. "Really? I bet you'd do really well here. You know, you're already making a name for yourself with producing."
She turned to him once again, her eyes firm and somber. "I can't leave Greenville, Tom. My whole life is there."
He nodded and hung his head as she turned her attention back to her camera. He decided not to press the issue. He could easily argue that most of her work was done from LA but it kept it to himself. He wondered if he'd ever be enough by himself to make her stay. She'd only been there with him less than a week and he was already dreading the day she left. "Wanna go to the beach?"
Ferry's eyes lit up. "Yes! Let's go!" She placed her camera back in its case and draped it over her should.
Tom led Ferryn down the steps that led to the secluded beach. Once her feet touched the sand, it seemed as though she took on a whole new persona. He laughed as she kicked off her flip flops and hiked her jeans up to her knees before running happily into the surf. He followed slowly behind her, laughing at her child-like antics. It was nice to see Ferryn let down that protective wall he knew she carried and enjoy something. He got to see her in a new light as she embraced her inner child. "Having fun?" He asked as he laughed.
"You have no idea! I changed my mind. I'm never leaving LA. I'm staying right here."
"You may get a little cold if you plan on living in the surf."
"I don't even care." She said as she continued down the shore. "Seashells! I should take some home."
Tom caught up to her. "I'll help you look."
"Thanks!" Ferryn began picking up her newly found treasures until she felt a splash of water hit the side of her face. "That better have been an over zealous wave and not you, Tom."
Tom flashed a million dollar smile of innocence. "I have no idea what you're talking about, my dear."
Danger flashed in her eyes. "Don't try to sweet talk me, Kaulitz. You'll go down like the Titanic."
He sniffed the air. "I smell a challenge." He didn't even take a second to think before he dipped his hand into the shallow water and splashed her again, sending water up the back of her shirt.
She stiffened and scoffed. "Oh, you are so dead!"
Tom took off running down the shore with Ferryn hot on his heels. He hit the water with a large splash as Ferryn tackled him and landed in the water on top of him. He couldn't help but laugh at Ferryn's face. She was adorable when she was angry.
"Ugh!" Ferryn exclaimed before smiling.
"It's just water." He snickered.
"Do I look like I wanted to get wet?" She challenged. Tom bit his lip, trying not to laugh as his mind went immediately into the gutter. "You're a sick man, Tom!"
He let a laugh escape as he sat up with Ferryn still on top of him. "I didn't say anything!" He said as he held his hands up in defeat.
"You didn't have to!" She said as she playfully hit his chest.
"If you wanted me on the ground for a reason, you could have asked instead of tackling me." His grin turned evil.
Ferryn rolled her eyes. "Oh baby. Yes. Take me now." She said flatly and without emotion.
Tom stood, pulling Ferryn along with him. "Ouch! Bruise my ego. I'm used to it."
Ferryn followed as Tom headed over to sit on the sand out of the water. She saw a glint of sadness in his eyes. "Did I really offend him?" She knew he'd had his share of women and they all had apparently ended badly. "Maybe what he needs is someone who can't keep their hands off of him." She was feeling exactly that. "I just don't want to start something that I know we can't finish. There are still a lot of kinks I have to sort out before the possibility for 'us' to exist." She felt the need to reassure him. Not out of pity but out of the love she honestly felt for him. Taking a leap of faith, Ferryn sat on her knees and moved to straddle his lap. It caught him off guard. She removed his sunglasses and set them on the sand beside them. She cupped his face in her hands and made sure his eyes were looking into hers. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
He tried to interrupt. "Ferryn, it's fi-"
She placed a finger to his lips. "No. Let me finish. I need to say I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. Here you are being amazing, taking me to places I've never seen, and I have to go and be a brat. I don't always know how to balance my moods and I'm sorry. I think you need to know that the women you've dated in the past must have been lacking a brain. You are, without a doubt, one of the sexiest men I've ever laid my eyes on. You're kind, you genuinely care about people and you're patient. Yes, I do hold myself back from attacking you most of the time but you know the reasons why. It has nothing to do with you. You're not lacking in any way. I know I said we need to take things slow and see where they could go, but you've forced me to negate that way of thinking. Now, just to reassure you..." Ferry wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed the spot just below his ear. "I'll just have to molest you right here on the beach." She whispered.
Tom groaned and tilted his head back. "You don't need to do this."
She moved her lips down his jaw, feeling the light stubble against her skin. She pulled back and stared down at him. "You don't like this?"
He laughed. "That's not what I said. I just mean I think you may be doing this for the wrong reasons."
Ferryn shook her head. "Wrong. Maybe I've wanted to do this all day and didn't know how to go about it. Maybe you dripping with ocean water turns me on. Maybe I forgot what your lips felt like and I wanted to be reminded. Maybe I'm falling hard for you and I don't know how to stop it." Each confession was punctuated with a kiss somewhere on his face.
Tom held her close. "What if I said I feel the same and I don't want you to try and stop it? What if I said that if we're gonna fall, it may as well be together?"
Her lips were a breath away from his. It seemed at that moment that everything around her stood still. All she could hear were the waves crashing around them, the seagulls in the distance and the hard thud of their hearts beating as one. "It's going to be hard."
Tom nodded. "I know." He kissed the tip of her nose. "But we'll never know unless we try."
Ferryn lay her head on his shoulder. "I can be a difficult person, Tom. I'm not going to say I'll always be lovable. I'm a typical woman. I go through moods. I change my mind a lot. And I don't always know what I want. I can be a real b*tch too."
He laughed as he ran his hands through her damp hair. "So you're saying you're human? I prefer to date females of that species."
Ferryn let out a shaky breath. She had no idea that saying what she had said would go this far. She shivered.
"Cold?" He asked as he rubbed her arms briskly.
She nodded. "I don't know what to say. I lost my train of thought." She turned and settled herself between his legs. She leaned her back against his chest.
He brought his arms around her and held her close. "It's okay to not know what to say. Just enjoy the moment."
Ferryn nodded. "Thank you for showing me this place."
She tilted her head back and he brushed his lips to hers. "You're welcome. I knew you'd appreciate it."
"I do. You'll never know how much."
-----------------------------
Tom and Ferryn walked through the door and into the kitchen to find Bill sitting at the island typing away on his laptop. He looked at the two as he noticed they looked like two drowned rats. "What happened to you?" He asked as Tom opened the refrigerator.
"We went down at the beach. I started it. I'll admit that." Tom winked at Ferryn.
"I don't even want to know." Bill chuckled.
Ferry was quick to defend herself. "There's no secret. I was looking for seashells when someone had to act like a five year old and splash me." She didn't know why but she felt the need to make herself clear with Bill.
Tom took a sip from his water. "Whatever. You got me back." He turned to Bill. "She tackled me flat on my *ss right in the water."
Bill turned to Ferryn and held his hand up for a waiting for a high five. "Can't say I blame her."
Tom scoffed. "Are you ganging up on me?"
"Yes." They answered in unison as Ferryn slapped Bill's palm.
"So what are you guys doing for dinner?" Bill asked. "I ordered a pizza. You're welcome to join me."
Ferryn smiled brightly at him. "Pizza sounds great! I just need to change out of these wet clothes first."
"Me too." Tom agreed as he fanned his wet T-shirt away from his body. "We'll be back in a few minutes."
Bill nodded and turned his attention back to his laptop. "The pizza should be here in ten minutes." He watched the pair walk down the hallway, Ferryn's hand placed firmly in Tom's. Something had changed between the two of them in the few days Ferryn had been in LA. He was beginning to think she was exactly what his big brother needed to get out of his funk and make him see that it was possible for someone to faithfully love him.
-----------------------------
Ferryn followed Tom into his bedroom. She headed for her suitcase next to the window. Tom grabbed some dry clothes and disappeared into the bathroom. Ferryn figured that's where he was going to change so she began to undress herself. As she was about to pull her bra over her head, Tom came out of the bathroom fully dressed. He stopped when he saw her and his eyes widened. Ferryn turned quickly to hide herself.
"Sh*t, Ferryn. I'm sorry!"
She quickly pulled her bra back down before she turned back toward him. "Don't worry about it."
He was surprised. The old Ferryn would have popped off. He couldn't help but stare though. He knew she worked out from what little he had seen. Her body drew him like a moth to a flame.
Ferry reached into her suitcase and pulled a black tank top over her head, followed by a pair of gray cotton shorts. She looked adorable yet comfy. She walked past Tom as he sat on the edge of the bed. She tapped his chin gently. "Close your mouth, sweetie."
He straightened and grabbed her hand, pulling her close to him. "I can't help it. You're gorgeous. Any man would have to be blind to not want you."
She smiled and accepted his embrace. "I can say the same for you but in your case, women would have to be blind."
Tom kissed her softly, taking small sips of her as she melted against him. "I plan to get tested as soon as possible." He mumbled.
Ferryn laughed. "Somebody's eager."
Tom looked at her seriously. "It's not just sex, Ferryn. You and I both know it's more than that."
She nodded and lay her head on his shoulder as his arms wrapped protectively around her. They seemed to compliment each other in more ways than one. They stayed in that position in silence until they heard Bill yell down the hallway. "Pizza's here!"
Reluctantly, they pulled apart before they headed down the hall and into the kitchen for a tasty dinner.
-----------------------------
After an easy dinner with harmless banter and witty joking, Tom had insisted on helping Bill clean up the kitchen but not before shooing Ferryn away. He insisted that she was a guest and didn't need to help. Half an hour later, he found her outside on the balcony. She had one of his guitars in her lap with a notepad and pen on the table beside her.
She looked peaceful. She was seated cross-legged and her neatly pink painted toenails stuck out as she wore a thoughtful look on her beautiful face.
"Am I interrupting?"
She looked up and smiled at him. "Of course not. I was just in a zone. Sit down."
He took a seat beside her and pat her knee gently. She reached over and did the same to quickly went back to her notebook to scribble words aimlessly across the paper. "How was cleaning up dinner with Bill?"
Tom made a face and rolled his eyes. "Lovely. He grilled me for information about you but he really likes you. I don't think he shut up the entire time I was in there."
She laughed and looked at him funny. "Is that a good thing?"
"Well, yeah. It makes things easier when my brother likes my- um-" Tom stuttered as his cheeks turned pink.
Ferry laughed as he gave her a helpless look in return. "You don't have to put a label on us, Tom. We'll get there, okay? For now, we'll just say we're two really close friends who want to see where their relationship could go. Sound good?"
He let out a whoosh of air. "Yeah, that sounds good."
She winked at him. "I really need to call and check in with my sister. I didn't tell her I was coming to LA and I'm sure she's blowing a gasket. I need to check on my sweet baby Star too."
Tom looked confused. "Baby?"
Ferryn grinned evilly and decided to feed him the bait. "Yes, Tom. I thought you knew I had a daughter." His face paled over and Ferryn couldn't contain her laughter. "I'm kidding, Kaulitz! You should have seen your face go three shades of white! I'm talking about my niece. She's about a month old."
Tom ran a shaky hand over his face. "You're evil, Ferryn Phillips."
She bat her eyelashes as he shook his head. "You love me."
"I can't help it."
Ferryn got serious and positioned her face a fraction from his. Her eyes stared directly at his lips. for some reason, she wanted to kiss him hard at that very moment. "Would you still want to be with me, even if I had a kid, Tom?"
Tom pulled back from her, looking more confused than before. "Of course I would, Ferryn. I'm not looking to pick apart the pieces I like about you. I want you. Flaw, scars, warts and all. I'm slowly becoming addicted to the entire package."
She smiled and cupped his face in her hands. She kissed him and pulled him closer to deepen it. When she felt his tongue invade her mouth, she moaned against his lips and became a full participant. Her hands went into his hair, pulling lightly at his braids. She pulled away for a second for a quick breath. "Tom, this isn't fair to either of us."
He let out an annoyed grunt and rested his head against her bare shoulder. He tried to calm his breathing. "I know. Trust me, I know."
"Maybe it'd be better if I left so we aren't so tempted."
Tom stood and laced his fingers with hers. "No. I'm enjoying spending this time with you. We need to get to know each other. I refuse to base our relationship on a few meetings here and there or some odd amount of time spent working together in the studio. I'd rather not be allowed to kiss you again than to not see you or spend time with you."
Ferryn's eyes glosses slightly by what he had just said. She agreed with him on everything he'd confessed. They deserved this time. Touching was natural. Kissing was too. Anything beyond that was out of the question when you're trying to go about things the right way and be safe in doing so. No one ever said it'd be easy.
"I think I'm gonna go call my sister now." She stood and grabbed her notebook and his guitar. She set it on its stand. "I need to go get my phone."
Tom nodded. "I think I'm gonna go shower while you're doing that . I feel like I have ocean still left on me."
"I know what you mean." Ferryn scrunched her nose up. "I think I'll take one before bed."
"You'll probably slap me for saying this but you know you're welcome to join me."
Ferryn smirked and followed him into the house. She saw the shit eating grin he wore across his chiseled cheekbones. "I should but I'll do that later. Go take your shower, Tom."
Tom moves his eyebrows suggestively before kissing her cheek quickly and heading down the hall. Ferryn went into the living room to retrieve her cell phone. She stepped out on the balcony to place her call.
-----------------------------
Fifteen minutes later, she hung up with her sister. Ferryn was excited she hadn't gotten the third degree. Her sister only offered encouraging words and let her know that she was more than happy for Ferryn in whatever decision she made when it came to her love life. Of course, if it hadn't been for Star waking up early from her nap, she may have dug a little deeper. Ferryn was gonna have to thank her sweet little niece for that one day. As she passed by the living room, she was stopped at the sound of her name.
"Hey, Ferryn? You have a second?"
She looked up to see Bill sitting on the couch. His legs were propped up on the coffee table and he was watching a movie.
"Sure. What's up?" She took a seat beside him.
"I just wanted to let you know that you've been really good for my brother. It's been a long time since I've seen him this happy. I don't know what he has told you or what you've heard from the gossip and rumors but he's been through the ringer."
"Thanks. He hasn't really gone into detail much but I've heard his ex cheated on him."
Bill laughed." That's only the half of it. The first time, she cheated on him with his best friend. He was so head over heels in love with Natalie that he was blind to see what she was doing behind his back. Even when he found out about it, he forgave her. Why? I'll never know. They were only back together a week and she was doing it again with someone else. He was convinced that she was sorry and that she loved him just as much as he loved her. He was ready to propose. She never told him about the other affairs or affairs, whichever. She never had the common courtesy to leave him or dump him. He found out through a tabloid." Bill shook his head. "Back then, his music had great potential and he was worthy of being in the public eye. It started out in rumor magazines but they took the bait and ran with it. In the end, they made a mockery out of him. Thankfully, after all that, he finally kicked her out and hasn't spoken to her since. He's been putting the pieces together after those words took their toll on him. He didn't go out for quite a while. I swear there were days where he'd stay in bed or in his stupid. It killed me to see him like that. I swear if I ever see that bitch face to face, she's gonna get an earful of what I have to say and a face full of my fist."
Ferryn stood dumbfounded as she looked at Bill with wide eyes. Her heart ached for Tom. It wasn't out of pity for him and what he'd been through but rather out of empathy for what he had to go through. For some reason, the thought of someone hurting him infuriated Ferryn beyond belief. When she first met him, she had been mean because she has believed the rumors she had heard were all true. She thought Tom had been on the evil end. In the short time she'd known him, she'd seen a soft, giving, vulnerable side to him. The fact that someone would take advantage of that was just inexcusable. "I don't know what to say. That's just... wow."
Bill sat up and pat her shoulder casually. "You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know where he was coming from. Like I said, you're good for him. When you're here, it's like he's alive again. When you're not, he talks about you often. I just wanted to know that and thank you."
"You're welcome. The feeling is mutual."
Bill smiled. "I think you're just what he needs."
Ferryn started to feel uncomfortable, not knowing how to reply. She and Tom knew that nothing was finalized in their relationship yet and she didn't feel right declaring confessions of love to his younger brother just yet, regardless of whatever they may be. There was one more thing she wanted to know if she was already getting information out of Bill. "I probably shouldn't ask but about his music-"
Bill placed his elbows on his knees. "I'll let him tell you that one. I'm sure you've already found out that it's a sore spot."
She nodded. "Yeah, I have. I'll wait until he's ready to tell me, I guess."
"That's probably best. I'll let you go now. I'm sure he's probably waiting for you."
"Thanks, Bill."
"Not a problem, Ferryn."
-----------------------------
Ferryn walked into the bedroom where she'd been sleeping since she arrived in LA. Tom's room. She heard the faint sounds of the shower water hitting the tile floor. She figured he'd have been done showering for a while by now. She let her thoughts gather and tried to take in everything that had happened in the last hour. The dinner she shared with Tom and Bill with the goofing around like they were all old friends, to the brief but intimate moment Tom and Ferryn had shared on the balcony, to the groan of frustration he'd let out when she decided it was best they stop their heated make out session, to Bill giving her very important details about Tom's past. She tried to knit it all together, to make some sense of it but she couldn't. She put away her confusion, her fears and doubts and fed off the love she knew she felt for Tom.
She slowly stepped through the door, trying to be as quiet a possible. She shed her clothing and stood at the clear door that had steamed up from the hot water Tom used. Trying to go unnoticed but not scare him at the same time, she pulled the handle back and stepped in behind him.
Her hands immediately snaked around his slim waist. She felt him jump but he quickly relaxed before he turned slowly in her embrace. His eyes were wide with wonder. "Ferryn?" He didn't want to overstep a boundary but he needed some kind of permission before he continued. He could tell she wanted more even if he wasn't going to be able to love her like they wanted.
Ferryn didn't speak. She crashed her lips hungrily against his. Her small fingers dove into his wet braids. They both enjoyed the feel when bare skin met bare skin as their slick bodies were pressed together. Tom's hands went directly for her hips. He ran his fingers over every curve and dip he could find. His hands moved upward to the side of her ribs until they met her breasts. He took a moment to cup each one firmly as he ran his thumbs over the sensitive peaks. Ferryn moaned his name in a breathy whisper. Tom's lips moved around her face, neck and shoulders, kissing, nipping and licking. It was driving her crazy. He settled them right beside her ear. He felt her shiver as he whispered. "What are we doing?"
Her eyes were closed and her head tilted back in invitation to his addicting lips. Ferryn finally found the strength to respond. "Making out in the shower, Tom."
He groaned and moved his lips lower, capturing a nipple in his mouth. Ferryn grasped onto his neck to keep her knees from buckling under her. She didn't know things would end up in this hot, sexual moment. It was that very moment that she realized she had become addicted to this man. She was addicted to his lips, his touch, his smile... all of him. Even though they both wanted release, he took the time to love her slowly like she deserved. It was the little things that made Ferryn feel that future with Tom. He was learning her body with his hands and mouth. It was almost too much to take.
Tom backed her against the tile wall. The coolness nearly woke Ferryn from her reverie. Her hands traveled down his back, feeling every indentation as he muscles moved. The man was made of all muscle. Ferryn's mind flashed back to the day he'd answered the hotel door in nothing but a towel. It had seemed so long ago but she was more than happy to be reliving it first hand in the shower during this moment. The spray continued to fall down his back, splashing in between them as it poured off his shoulders. He was all too happy to lick the flooding droplets wherever they fell between them on Ferry's body.
His lips found hers once again and his hands traveled down her back. He caressed her bottom and pulled her tightly against him. His hand stilled for a second at her hip as his palm moved in slow circles. They began the journey down her leg, to her calf and back up as he lifted it to wrap around his slim waist. His long fingers moved to her stomach before they began their journey lower. Ferryn nearly cried out. Her voice muffled by his shoulder. "Tom, please."
He pulled back to look into her eyes. In a way, he was asking permission. He kissed her passionately and tangled his tongue with hers. He added another finger to her readiness. She stilled at the feel of him but slowly let her body relax as he continued. She needed this just as much as he did. "I've got you, baby. Just enjoy this." He purred as his fingers slid in and out of her. Ferryn panted as she tried to get lost in the feeling of him but she didn't think it was fair that she was the only one enjoying it. She reached between them and grabbed a hold of him, hot and hard against her stomach.
She had gone into the shower for both of them, not just herself. He hissed out a breath as her fingers found him. His forehead came to rest against hers. "This is supposed to be for you, Ferryn."
Ferry shook her head. Her eyes were fierce as she leaned forward to nip at his lips, moving against his touch. "No, it's not, Tom. This is about us."
He let out a groan from deep in his throat. It was a declaration of pent up sexual frustration as she quickened her pace, gripping him harder in her fingers. The water continued to pour down on them. The entire bathroom steamed up from what could only be the heat of their passion. They both moved together in unison; kissing, licking and nipping at any skin possible. When their breathing became quicker and actions more frantic, Tom took the side of Ferryn's face with his free hand and kissed her hotly as they both cried out together. Neither of them moved. Neither could stop their thudding heartbeats as they pressed together, hands placed haphazardly between them.
Moments passed as the water and steam flowed around them. Tom lay his head on Ferryn's chest. "God, why- tell me why we didn't do that sooner?"
Ferryn let out a weak and sedated laugh. "I only wish I knew."
"Did you come in here to shower or to do that?"
She pulled away from the wall. "I came in here to shower but decided I wanted you more."
Tom took her hand. He pulled her gently in front of the shower spray. He grabbed the shampoo bottle. "I can't help you with that too."
"Mmm, I'll let you do that." Ferryn smiled as she felt him massage the suds into her hair. She leaned back against the firmness of his chest and grinned peacefully.
-----------------------------
Ferryn lay tucked under the solid weight of Tom's arms as they lay in bed that night. Tom had been reading a book, glasses perched on his nose as he watched her drift in and out of sleep. He was pulled from his thoughts by the loud ringing of her phone. He ran a hand softly over her face. "Ferryn, your phone's ringing."
She mumbled incoherently and snuggled deeper into Tom before she murmured, "Ignore it, Tom. I'll call them back in the morning."
-----------------------------
Ferryn stood at the door of Tom's bedroom with her cell squeezed tightly in her hand. She watched as Tom slept. She bit her lip, deep in thought. She had returned her call from the night before and was a little hesitant to tell Tom the news. She was nervous but excited all at the same time. She pushed her thoughts aside and tip-toed back over to the side of the bed she had slept on. She crawled under the covers and curled up beside him. She stared at him for a second as she often did when she'd wake before him. She moved closer and lay her head on his shoulder. His arms instinctively closed around her and pulled her against his chest.
Tom's long eyelashes fluttered as his eyes opened. He ran a gentle hand up and down Ferryn's back as his lips came down to kiss the tip of her nose softly. "Morning." He smiled sleepily. He rolled her on her back and hovered over her.
Ferryn smiled. She welcomed the sweet weight of him and she laughed as he waggled his eyebrows at her. "Morning, pervert." His smile turned into a frown and he began to tickle her. She squealed and laughed with delight.
Tom laughed along wit her before he sat up, straddling her thighs. "I'm not a pervert!" He defended. He smirked at her as she rolled her eyes. "I can't help it if there's a sexy woman in my bed when I wake up, smelling all seductive and pressed all up against me."
She smacked his chest playfully. "I was just kidding!" He pouted so she apologized. "I'm sorry. You're not a pervert. Do you forgive me?"
He moved to lay beside her, propping himself up on his elbow and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear in a tender gesture. "You've already been forgiven."
"You're amazing."
"You are too." There was no cocky smirk or gloating in his comment. She knew it was sincere.
Ferryn reached up to lace her fingers with his free hand. "So what's the plan for today?"
"I don't have much going on. I may have to make a few calls and spend a little bit of time in my home studio but other than that, my day is pretty flexible. Anything in particular you want to do?"
"LA is such a big place. I wouldn't know where to start."
"Well, what are some of your favorite things?" He asked as he brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles.
Ferryn thought for a moment. "I'm game for pretty much anything. I love seeing new places. I love art. I've always wanted to-"
Tom stopped her. "Art? That's right! Would you want to go to a museum?"
Ferryn's ears perked up and she smiled. "That'd be great!"
Tom sat up and pulled her along with him. "I know exactly the place I can take you. Is that where you wanna go?"
"Yes!" Ferryn smiled shyly as she nodded her head. She got up and headed to the window near the far corner of the spacious bedroom. She glanced down at the generous view of California. Tom came up behind her and wrapped his arms tightly against her chest. He rested his chin on her shoulder.
She snuggled into his embrace, relishing in the warmth of him. Her time in LA was something she feared she was becoming addicted to.
-----------------------------
Ferryn stood in front of a painting. She stared intently as Tom stood beside her. He glanced over at her delicate features as his eyes scanned over her body. She had chosen to wear a pair of low rise jeans and a white tank. She was rocking her usual flip flops. Her arms were crossed and her face relaxed but her brows were scrunched in deep thought. To Tom, she'd never looked sexier.
He took a step toward her and brushed his arm against hers. She turned to smile but her concentration went back to the painting. He followed suit for a moment, taking in the colors and textures. He was trying to take in what she was seeing. The picture was simple with no real specified objects but it showed colors blended in several different directions. It took on a soft wave-like effect. Each portion of the painting was separated with some type of shape to outline it and a bold black color to make them stand out. The artist chose bright, valiant colors and didn't favor any one color in particular. Some meshed together while others stood alone. To top it off, they'd used black swirl aimlessly around the painting and it seemed to bring everything together in the right way. It said a lot to Tom and he could appreciate it for what it was.
He bit his lip before he turned to Ferryn. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"
She turned to him, smiling. Her eyes were shining a dark green. She nodded. "It's amazing. I know it's simple but I can't stop staring at it. I'm not quite sure what it is but it makes me feel at peace. At home."
"Sometimes the simplest things have the most beauty in them. People just don't take the time to look."
Ferryn smiled again before she turned back to the painting. "I like how none of the colors have a specific place. It's like the artist took price in the fact that he or she could put whatever color they were feeling where ever they wanted but while doing that, everything became some sort of puzzle that all came together in the end."
"Yeah, and the fact they outlined each shape, it looks like you're staring at something specific but you're not. It's all how you see it and what your take of it is."
"That's the beauty of art. There are no rules, no specifications. It's your take of it. You paint the story and in the end, it's your feelings... your love."
Tom's pinky finger found its way to Ferryn's, looping it around her to pull her toward him. He smiled down at her. "How do you do that?"
She looked up at him with wide eyes. "Do what?"
"Say things with such power. You're so expressive."
She shrugged her shoulders. "I only say what I think and feel. I don't know any different."
He leaned down and took her lips with his in the most tender gesture. His lips were soft, a gentle brush meshing with her skin. He worried that she'd reject his public display of affection but relaxed when he felt her melt into the kiss. He pulled back and his thumbs brushed over her cheekbones. "You're beautiful Ferryn Phillips. Intellectually, physically, artistically... you're just beautiful."
Ferryn shyly turned her head to avoid his gaze. She didn't know how to take such a compliment. His words struck deep within her soul and it was suddenly hard to swallow. Not knowing how to will away her feelings, she tried to calm her breathing and pushed aside that sting she felt burning her eyes. Tom noticed her sudden silence and turned her face toward his to see her green eyes shining with tears.
Tom had never seen this side of her. He chose his next steps carefully. He laces his fingers with hers. "Ferryn?"
He looked helpless and worried at the same time. It had been a while since he'd dealt with this side of a woman. Her grip on his hand suddenly tightened. She swallowed and bounced up on her toes to kiss him. "Thank you, Tom. No one has said something like that to me in a long time. I didn't know how to take it."
"Are you sure you're okay?"
She turned to continue across the room of the art museum. She tugged him along and smiled up at him. "I'm great, Tom."
He winked at her before he turned his attention to the next display of art on the wall. "That you are, Ferryn. You are great."
-----------------------------
"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Tom looked at Ferryn hesitantly.
She laughed and shook her head. "Yes, Tom. I'll be fine. I'm a big girl. I'm sure I can entertain myself while you're in the studio."
"If you're sure..."
"I'm fine! Go away! Get some work done. I already feel like I've been keeping you from working since I've been here. Don't make me feel any worse or I'll escape while you're gone."
"I want to spend time with you, babe. And you haven't been keeping me from anything. You better not leave either! I like having you here. I like spending time with you." He brushed a kiss across her forehead.
"I like being here." Ferryn smiled, welcoming his tender display of affection.
"Good. You're welcome to the pool. I have video games and stuff and I'm sure Bill would let you kick his ass if he's around somewhere. You could lay out and read, take a nap, work on your song-"
"Tom!!" Ferryn yelled, putting an end to his tirade. She laughed and shook her head before kissing him deeply. "I told you I'd be fine. Now go work."
"I'd rather stay here and do more of that kissing thing." He dipped his head down for another kiss. Ferryn readily accepted but pulled back when he tried to deepen it. Tom stood there as a pout spread over his face.
"Don't make me get feisty." Ferryn warned.
Tom laughed. "You're right. We don't want Miss Sassy to make another appearance." He turned and headed down the hall before shouting over his shoulder. "I'll be back."
"It's about time!" Ferryn muttered. She turned to walk away before she heard his echo throughout the big house.
"I heard that!"
She laughed and shook her head. Some time alone was starting to sound better by the second.
-----------------------------
Tom followed the sound of two voices down the hallway. He stood against the wall as he watched Bill and Ferryn. They chided one another back and forth and they concentrated on the game in front of them. Tom couldn't help but laugh.
"What are you two playing?" Tom mused.
Bill quickly glanced at his brother. "She is kicking my ass right now. I can't talk."
Ferryn didn't even glance away from the television. She was too concentrated on the game and thrusting her fist forward at the right time. "Looks like you're about to lose again, Bill."
Bill scoffed. "Whatever! You're going down in six seconds!"
"Enlighten me. I'm counting." Ferryn turned sideways and took a big swing with her left hand before she turned to face him with a bright smile.
"You got spanked, Bill." Tom snickered. "You officially suck!"
"Shut up! She cheated. Or she's one of those prodigy kids who immediately knows how to do things they shouldn't know how to do. Those are the only two explanations I'm accepting."
Ferryn's widened her eyes. "I do not cheat, thank you very much. Just suck it up, loser boy!"
Bill laughed and extended his hand to her, "Truce?"
Ferryn's palm met his and she squeezed. "Truce." She made her way over to Tom. She noticed he was wearing a hoodie. "I'll never understand why people in California wear hoodies. It's hotter than Satan's asshole out there!"
Tom laughed. "It's cold in the studio though."
She shook her head. "How did working go?"
He touched her cheek softly. "It went well. Bill keep you entertained long enough?"
"Yeah. He was already playing it when I went in there. I told you I'd be fine!"
"I never doubted you, Sassy Pants!"
Bill looked confused. "Sassy pants? Do I even wanna know?
Ferryn's cheeks burned crimson but Tom was quick to defend. "This girl has a different side to her. She looks all sweet and innocent but at the drop of a dime she can turn into a sassy little thing!"
"Don't I know it!" Bill laughed.
"I don't remember getting my invitation to this Bash Ferryn Party." She pouted.
"It's not, babe. Bill just needs explanations for everything. I have to do everything for him. I mean, he wouldn't have even known how to be born if I didn't show him how to do it first and it still took him ten minutes to come out."
"Whatever." Bill muttered. "I'm gonna go shower. I'm meeting some friends later."
"Bye!" Tom and Ferryn called out together as they watched him leave the room.
"So are you done or do I need to find something new to do?" Ferryn questioned.
"I'm just waiting for Rick to leave, then I'll be free to dazzle you with my entertaining abilities." He said as he winked at her.
"Rick?"
"He's a friend of mine whom I've been working with. He was shutting things down in the studio. He'll head out when he's done."
"Oh, okay." Ferryn nodded.
She clicked the TV off and began to put the game controllers and such away. It wasn't long before another voice boomed through the living room.
"I'm all set, Tom. I'll see you next month?"
Tom nodded as he shook the other man's hand. "Yeah, I'll be there. Let me introduce you to a good friend of mine. She's a song writer, producer and photographer. This is Ferryn Phillips. Ferryn, this is Rick Gross."
Ferryn extended her hand out to the blonde man standing next to Tom. "Nice to meet you."
"Obliged. I've heard a lot about you."
"All good, I hope." She raised an eyebrow at Tom.
He threw his hands up and Rick smiled. "Yes, only good things. Tom thinks very highly of you. He says you're from North Carolina? I grew up in Raleigh."
Ferryn smiled. "I have tons of family there."
"Small world, huh?" Rick returned the gesture. "I hate to cut this short but I have somewhere to be soon. Ferryn, it was very nice to meet you. Hopefully I'll see you again sometime. Tom, I'll be in touch."
Tom nodded and watched as Rick walked out the door. He turned back to Ferryn. He tugged her against him and placed a kiss on her neck. "Now I have you all to myself." He whispered, feeling her melt against him.
"What would you like to do now?" Ferryn asked as she nuzzled against his chest. "Your hoodie is so soft."
"It's really comfortable." Tom nodded. "Want to watch a movie?"
"Sure. You look as though you're about to fall asleep though."
"I'm really tired for some reason."
"Take a nap." She urged. "I'm a big girl. I can watch a movie by myself."
Tom stretched a little as he kicked his shoes off. "You could nap with me."
Ferryn looked him in the eyes. "We always end up 'sleeping' together. Don't you find that a little weird?"
Tom looked a little hurt. "I like having you next to me while I sleep. If that makes me girly or ultra-sensitive, I don't care. I don't think it's weird. It's not like we're strangers or that we're using one another to just fool around with. I care about you, Ferryn."
Ferryn regretted her words. She smiled and lay her head on his shoulder. "I care about you too."
He smiled as they positioned themselves together on the couch. He pulled a blanket off the back of the couch and covered them up before closing his eyes. He smiled as he listened to Ferryn flipping through the channels.
On the brink of sleep, Tom was awakened by the buzz of Ferryn's cell phone. She reached for it quickly, causing Tom to wonder if she was awaiting an important call or if she was just trying to avoid waking him. She quickly peeled herself away from him and walked into the closest room with privacy. She hopped on a bar stool in the kitchen and answered her phone.
Moments later, Tom stumbled into the kitchen. He rubbed a hand over his tired face in an attempt at waking him from his sleepy haze. He spotted Ferryn sitting at the island, staring blankly at her phone. Something seemed off. He had figured that she'd come back and lay with him after speaking to whomever had been on the phone. Tom moved to sit behind her. He place a hand on her shoulder. "Everything okay?"
Ferryn jumped, obviously startled. "Yeah. I was just thinking."
Tom rubbed her back lightly. "Care to share? Or is it a secret?"
"It was Sam."
Tom smiled. "That's a good thing, right?"
She shrugged. She took a deep breath before going on. "He wants me to work with a new acoustic singer. Sam said my lyrics and style would be perfect for him."
Tom's brows furrowed in confusion. "Did I miss something? Shouldn't that be good news?"
"They want me to go to London, Tom."
His face was somber for a second. He wanted her to succeed and reach her fullest potential but he knew it would put even more distance between them, both physically and emotionally. Regardless of an official title to their relationship, Tom knew it was going to hurt when she left and he already wasn't looking forward to it. "How long?"
"Up to a month."
"Do you not want to go?"
"I don't know what I want." Her eyes suddenly held a multitude of sadness. "Will I be any good over there? Will I survive by myself?"
Tom grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles. "You'll never know until you try. You have to give it a chance. You're oozing with talent and something this big could really take you places... big places."
She nodded. "You're right." She didn't want to confess that she was going to miss him most. She couldn't admit that if she had been offered a gig in LA, it would have kept her where she wanted to be at that moment. She wouldn't have hesitated in saying yes to that. "I guess I'll call him back in a bit and tell him I'll do it."
Despite his sadness, Tom gave her a reassuring smile. "You're gonna do great, Ferryn. You have the talent. Use it like you should."
"Tom, you're so good to me. Thanks."
He smiled happily. "Likewise. Go make your phone calls. I'll be in my office when you're done. We'll go to dinner later to celebrate."
She smiled. She was so grateful for his never-ending kindness. She hadn't imagined this would ever happen. Before she met him, she couldn't have pictured herself in his house in LA, spending days and nights with him, enjoying his company and dreading leaving him behind. "Dinner would be great."
-----------------------------
Twenty minutes later, Ferryn found Tom sitting at his desk in his office. His glasses were perched low in his nose and he was staring intently at his laptop. Her heart skipped a beat. Something about men in glasses turned her on. He looked intelligent and stunning. She slid up beside him and lopped her arms around his neck. She breathed deeply, inhaling his scent.
He turned toward her and placed a kiss on her cheek. "How'd it go?"
"Good. I wasn't expecting to leave so soon. I have to go back home though. I need clothes and my guitar and such."
Tom tried to keep a straight face. "How soon?"
"I have to leave tomorrow night at the latest to go back home. Sam wants me in London by Friday at the latest."
Tom nodded as he stood. He closed his laptop and gathered some papers. He set his glasses down and turned toward Ferryn. Her eyebrow was cocked up and he looked at her with confusion.
"Keep the glasses on."
He shrugged and placed them back on his face. "Why?"
Ferryn pressed her body against him until he bumped into the desk, sending papers falling to the floor. "Because they make you look hot."
He smiled and pulled her against him. "You think I'm hot?"
Ferryn nodded and began kissing his neck. "Don't even lie. You know you're hot."
Tom looked doubtful. "I don't think I'm hot."
She pulled back and pulled his face in her hands. She kissed him slowly. "Then you need a stronger prescription in those glasses."
He chuckled. "Ferryn, stop. You're gonna make me blush."
She shook her head. "Trust me. You're hot. And sexy. And gorgeous. And handsome." The punctuated each statement with a kiss. "These are things you should know."
His fingers moved up to rest on the thin line of skin exposed at the hem of her T-shirt. "What did I do to deserve this praise fest?"
Ferryn snuggled up against him. "I just thought you should know because it's all true. And because- Well, because I'm gonna miss you."
He stilled at her confession. He finally felt like they were moving forward in hearing her admit that. It was blissful and scary all at the same time. He knew admitting it had to be hard for her. She'd knocked down that self-protecting shield and let herself go. Even if they were only baby steps, she was letting her heart open to him. With a gentle nudge, he held her face in his hands. His forehead brushed against hers. "I'm gonna miss you too... a lot more than I can say."
"This sucks." She pouted. "I didn't expect to feel this way when I agreed to stay with you."
He smiled and kissed the tip of her nose. "Are you sorry?"
She shook her head. "No. I'm just bummed. Maybe a little pensive but that's a common fixture in my brain. I'm always thinking and over-analyzing."
"It's not forever, you know." He laughed. "Go to London. Experience this part of your life. You'll know where to find me when you come back."
"I don't live in LA, Tom." She looked away sadly.
He pulled her gaze back to his. "Stop thinking so much. We'll arrange the pieces later. Just know that if you need me, I'll be right here."
Her eyes began to sting and she began to wonder what it was about Tom that made her free to show so much emotion. She wasn't the type to cry often. She leaned forward and kissed his lips softly. She let her lips linger until she felt his tongue brush the seam of her lips. She accepted his invasion, closing her eyes and he got a thorough taste of her. His hands gripped her jaw and the passion between them mounted.
Before it got out of hand, Ferryn pulled back. She kept her forehead against his, trying to catch her breath. She moved her fingers down to dance along the edge of his hoodie. She felt the skin beneath her touch quiver. "Hold your arms up." She commanded.
"What?"
She nipped his jaw. "Just do it."
He lifted his arms and Ferryn peeled his hoodie off over his head. He shivered slightly with a combination of cool air and anticipation. He watched as Ferryn pulled the hoodie close to her and inhaled deeply.
She smiled up at his confused expression. "I'm taking this with me. If going to London is going to be a part of my life, I'm taking a part of you with me."
Her words delighted him. He hugged her tightly. "Take it. You're gonna knock 'em dead."
A lone tear finally slid down her cheek and she quickly brushed it away. "You're amazing, Tom."
With her body pressed against his, he could feel the deep thudding sound of her heart. Something new swept over him at that moment. "How can that one single confession make me feel this good? Am I finally ready to give this a chance?" He laughed at himself. "Now I'm over-analyzing." He decided to stop thinking and just live in the moment. It was time to enjoy the present and be hopeful for the future. "I'll never be as amazing as you, Miss Ferryn Phillips."
-----------------------------
Since Ferryn left LA, Tom did everything he could to keep himself busy. He had gone through several mental arguments in his head. He tried telling himself that he really didn't miss her as much as he thought but it was impossible to lie to himself. His bed suddenly felt too large without her there. It always felt cold and lonely when he woke. Everything he saw reminded him of Ferryn. There were things he knew she'd appreciate, making her smile. There were things that would make him laugh because he knew it would cause her to make some kind of sarcastic remark or witty comment. He simply missed her presence.
It had been a week since Ferryn had left LA on a flight back to North Carolina. She had gone back to Greenville just long enough to pack and left from there to London. He calculated that her flight had landed four days prior. He tried giving her the space she needed to settle in but Tom wanted to know she had made it there safely. He wanted to know that everything was working out according to plan. Most of all, he just wanted to hear her voice. It was a Thursday afternoon and Tom has just left a small business meeting. He was on his way to grab an early dinner when his cell phone vibrated against his leg. He dug in his pocket for the tiny phone and smiled as he looked at the caller ID on the sleek screen.
"Hey, you."
There was a short pause before he heard anything. "Hey, Tom!"
He could hear the exhaustion in her voice but the happiness was there. "How is London's newest songwriter?"
Ferryn laughed. "I'm okay. I'm busy as hell though. I'm sorry I haven't called you sooner. It's been so crazy since I stepped off the plane. I've hardly had time to breathe!"
"Busy is good! Don't worry about it. I knew you'd be in demand once you got there."
She smiled even though he couldn't see her. "I have been! I knew it'd be like this but I wasn't expecting it to hit so hard. We've literally been working non-stop since I got here. By the hand of fate, we finished early tonight so I could call you before I crash."
Tom pressed the button on his key ring and got inside his car. "I miss you." He said before his words could get caught behind the lump in his throat.
Ferryn was silent for a moment before she gave a soft desperate sigh. "I miss you too, more than I thought I would."
Tom closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. "You didn't think you'd miss me?" He tried to sound hurt, adding a bit of theatrical drama to his voice.
Ferryn laughed and Tom could tell she was rolling her eyes. "I don't mean that I never thought I'd miss you at all, silly. I just mean that I got used to being with you in LA. It feels like a part of me is missing."
Tom's heart skipped a beat. "Is she saying what I hope she's saying?" He cleared his throat. "I know what you mean. The house suddenly seemed empty when you left. Even with Bill here it just- It felt like a piece of the puzzle was missing."
Ferryn sighed. "Do we really want to do this to ourselves? I mean, the distance and everything? It almost never works out."
"Wow, this is harder than I thought." Tom realized that instead of filling the void, this phone call was tearing at his heart. "Don't you think we owe it to one another to give it a try?"
Her answer was simple but sure. "Yes."
"No one said these kinds of relationships were easy but I think we're both level-headed enough to work out the kinks." Tom said as he nodded.
"I would have to agree with you." Ferryn said smiling. "So what's happened since I left?"
Tom shrugged. "Nothing really. I just got out of a business meeting. Bill and I went jet skiing the other day. Other than that, things have been boring."
She laughed. "You would be the only person in the world to call LA boring."
"I live here. I can't help it." He chuckled. "How are the songs coming? Do you think this guy is gonna be a hit?"
Ferryn tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear as she padded through her hotel room. "I hope so." She said as she searched for some clothes to sleep in. "He has a lot of potential. His voice could melt anyone within ear shot but he's too self-assured sometimes."
"You mean cocky?" Tom raised an eyebrow.
"Exactly!" Ferryn exclaimed.
Tom laughed. "Someone better send the guy a memo. Ferryn Phillips doesn't do 'cocky'."
"This coming from Mr. Cocky himself." She smirked. "Nothing bothers me more than people who think their shit doesn't stink." She found a pair of shorts and a T-shirt to wear. "I don't have to worry though. I've already laid down the rules and he seems cool with them."
"I wouldn't be surprised if the 'rules' weren't etched in stone in the control room." Tom grinned, wishing he could be there to see her facial expression.
"Ugh! I'll just go get back on my broomstick now."
Tom laughed loudly. He missed the comfortable banter they shared. Talking to her brightened his day. She brought a sense of sanity into his unsure life. "I never said anything about a broomstick but if you have it handy-"
"You're asking for it, Kaulitz!" Ferryn threatened.
"Maybe I am."
Ferryn scoffed. "Pervert!"
"Ha! Don't deny you love me!"
Ferryn yawned as she shimmied into her pajamas. "Okay. I won't."
Tom could tell she was exhausted. "I should let you go to sleep."
"No, you're fine." She said as she tried to stifle another yawn unsuccessfully.
"Sleep. We can talk another time. What time is it there?"
She craned her neck to look at the bedside clock. "11:50."
"Yeah, it's your bed time. We'll talk again soon. I promise. Text me, email me, leave me a voice mail if I don't answer. Just-" He hesitated for a second as he carefully chose his words. "Let me know how you are." The words came out in a whisper.
"I will. The same goes for you."
He smiled as his breath hitched slightly. "Okay. Sleep now."
"G'night, Tom."
"G'night, Ferryn." Tom hung up as he thought about how he'd be perfectly content just to sit there and listen to her breathing as she slept. "Wow, that's either really creepy or really romantic." He thought with a smile. Romantic notions were slowly creeping into his mind and taking over his thoughts. He began to wonder when Ferryn had become such a big part of his life. As he scanned over the moments, rewinding back to the first day they met, he couldn't pinpoint just one moment that stood out. Each one held something special, something that had built up to where they were. He had slowly fallen for Ferryn.
-----------------------------
Ferryn walked into the control room. She was beginning to feel that she spent most of her life in that room. That day was different though. Her step was lighter and her body felt relaxed. She couldn't hide her smile nor the flutter in her chest as she remembered parts of her conversation with Tom from the night before. He had become her sanity and amity no matter where she was in the world. She found peace in his arms and encouragement in his words. As she entered the room, she saw Blake sitting on the couch. His guitar was perched on his knee and he strummed a few chords and smiled at Ferryn. His blonde hair was swept across his forehead and fanned his face.
"Morning." He greeted as he tipped his head.
"Morning to you."
"You're in a good mood. Stopping early last night had its benefits?"
Ferryn nodded. She threw her folders and notebooks on the desk in the corner. "I needed that sleep. I'm still adjusting to the time difference. I think it's gonna take a while."
Blake grinned. "You'll get used to it."
She took a seat in front of him. "What are we starting with today?"
He grimaced. "I'm in a mood. You feel like writing something dark?"
Ferryn studied him for a moment before she laughed. "Dark? Is everything okay?"
"Just stuck in a funk." He said as he continued to strum his guitar. "Everyone likes a musical change."
"Let's see if we can come up with something and begin my session of Musical Therapy 101."
Blake laughed but his face fell again. "I probably shouldn't be asking this but when a girl says, 'We need to talk,' that's usually a bad thing, right?"
Ferryn thought about it for a moment. "Not necessarily. Is this your girlfriend or wife?"
"Fiance."
Ferryn looked slightly surprised. "Well, it could be something small. I wouldn't worry about it. Did you do anything wrong that you can think of?"
Blake laughed as he placed his guitar beside him. "Why does everyone assume the guy is always to blame?" He reached for his bottle of water before taking a quick drink. "No, I don't think I did anything wrong. I just don't think the distance helps our relationship at all. I just hope she's not going to give up on me. I love her so much."
"I wouldn't worry about it." Ferryn gave him an encouraging smile. "Why don't you call her and find out?"
Blake shook his head and picked up his guitar again. "Maybe later. I don't think she's awake." He laughed and looked at Ferryn. "I'm here to work and I'm feeling musical. Let's make a number one hit!"
She laughed as she pulled out her notebook and a pen. She turned to a blank page and looked up at him. "Okay. Let's do this!"
-----------------------------
Later that day, Ferryn slipped into a small booth of a little coffee shop. Blake had given her the directions to the shop that was only a mere block from they were working. He assured her she wouldn't get lost. She slowly sipped her caramel macchiato. She watched the sites of London through the large glass windows. It was the first time since she had arrived that she could stop and take everything in.
She watched the people walk and talk in the gorgeous weather. She was a little jealous she couldn't get out there an experience it as well. She wondered what it would be like to spend a day or weekend seeing all the sites and visiting all the major attractions that London has to offer. Ferryn could only imagine spending that time with one other person. She asked herself if Tom would like it. She smiled as she thought of him. Ferryn suddenly began to feel home sick. She missed Greenville. She hoped that her loft was still in one piece since Jessi was house sitting. Ferryn missed the comfort of her own bed and sitting on the balcony late at night whether it be to write, paint or just to think.
Her thoughts turned back to Tom and she wondered what he was doing at that moment. She silently bet herself that he was caught up in his studio making music or mixing a track for an artist that would walk out looking and sounding like a rock star thanks to Tom's endless talent and amazing lyrical musings. She glanced at her watch and laughed when she realized it was nearly 2:00 am in LA. She knew he'd be in bed.
That empty feeling didn't seem to settle when she thought about Tom. If she was there, she would no doubt be asleep, tucked safely in his arms. She heard her cell vibrate in her purse and moved some things out of the way to find the little device. A smile tugged at her lips as she clicked the OK button to read the text message.
Tom K: Got a big hit yet?
Ferryn: 90% done. I'm taking a break right now. Should you be sleeping?
She waited eagerly for the screen to light up again.
Tom K: I can't sleep. I'm just laying here staring at the boring TV.
Her face fell. Tom could sleep during a tornado.
Ferryn: Why can't you sleep?
Tom K: Not sure. I think my bed misses a sweet, warm lady in it.
Ferryn laughed. He had become so carefree with his words. It was as if he no longer held the fear that she'd leave. They met in the middle with the silent agreement of where they stood. She still couldn't resist the urge to play with his head.
Ferryn: Oh, is your girlfriend away for the night?
She could almost see the look on his face. She wished she could be there to laugh as he rolled his eyes and tried to keep a straight face.
Tom K: She's out of the country making music that's gonna top the charts!
Ferryn's eyes widened. She suddenly felt like the tiny coffee shop had swallowed her and it was hard to breathe. She didn't know how to respond. "I can't think of a comeback! That almost never happens to me! But this- this had never been said before. It hadn't been confirmed yet." She shifted in her seat and chewed on her bottom lip. "How does one respond to that?" He just confirmed what she had been wondering all along but didn't have the courage to solidify. She didn't have the guts to make the words meet her lips. It would make everything 'official.' She sat there for another moment before responding.
Ferryn: You have a girlfriend out of the country?
She took a sip from her drink and waited for his response. It didn't take long.
Tom K: Oh, so that's the game we're gonna play, huh?
She know he was laughing and rolling his eyes.
Ferryn: Okay, I'll stop. This is just all too new. I'm not sure how to fill in the blanks.
Tom K: Don't over-think it, Ferryn. Just take it at face value.
Ferryn wished they could be having the conversation face to face.
Ferryn: You're right. I'll stop. I do miss you. I wish I were there to curl up next to you.
Tom K: See? That wasn't so hard! I miss you too. Curl up next to me? Is that all?
She laughed. She knew he made those comments just to get a comeback from her.
Ferryn: Always the pervert, Kaulitz.
Tom K: I'm a guy. I can't help it if my girlfriend is sexy!
She shook her head as she pictured Tom lying in bed, unable to sleep, lonely and a little horny. It was almost too much to imagine. She knew this thing between them was so much more.
Ferryn: This is hard, Tom.
Tom K: I know it is. How long are they keeping you there?
She went over her itinerary in her mind quickly trying to remember if they'd given her a time frame.
Ferryn: I'm not sure. We've finalized almost 3 tracks. Then comes recording. Maybe another 2 weeks?
Tom K: I'll be waiting. Any longer and I may have to fly out there and kidnap you.
Ferryn smiled as she thought of exactly what she'd do if he showed up there.
Ferryn: I might let you fly here if it gets to be too long. Getting tired yet?
Tom K: Yeah. Getting there. Thanks for talking with me.
Ferryn: You're welcome. Anytime.
Tom K: I'll let you go. Get your lyrical write on. :)
She giggled as she took another sip from her cup.
Ferryn: G'night, Tom.
She honestly meant to end the text there but her fingers graced over the keyboard effortlessly.
Ferryn: I love you.
Her heart pounded with the reality of what she'd just said. They had used the endearment before but this time they both knew that it meant so much more. Her phone lit up.
Tom K: I love you too, Ferryn. G'night.
Ferryn stared at her phone for what seemed like hours. She finally closed it and picked up her bag and drink before exiting the coffee shop. Her feet seemed to nearly bounce off the sidewalk as she made her way back to the studio. She made her way down the hallway, anxiously ready to get back to work when her phone rang. She figured it would be Tom saying that he still couldn't sleep but the voice that spoke proved her wrong.
"Ferryn? It's Bill. I'm really sorry to bother you but I wanted to talk with you for a second. Are you busy?"
She looked through the door but didn't see Blake. "I have a second or two. Is everything okay?"
"Yeah. Everything's fine. I just have a favor to ask you."
-----------------------------
One Week Later
Tom stumbled out to the kitchen as the morning sun glared through the windows. Still half asleep, he headed directly for the cabinet to grab a mug. He poured himself a steaming cup of coffee before taking a seat at the island.Bill watched from the other side of the kitchen and laughed. "You look like shit."
"Good morning to you too, asshole." Tom didn't even look up. "I was up late last night working."
"Is that all you do? Work? What ever happened to getting out and having fun?"
"What are you talking about?" Tom looked at his brother curiously. "I get out."
"I know you do." Bill defended. "I mean that there is a life beyond your studio, Tom."
"I'm aware of that, Bill." Tom said as his annoyance at Bill grew. "I just need to get this stuff done."
"What happened to making your own music?" Bill questioned. "Times have changed bu you still have what it takes."
Tom shook his head as he stood. He set the now empty mug in the sink before turning to Bill and crossing his arms over his chest. "I really don't want to hear this right now. We've been over this before. It's not the right time."
Bill nodded. He felt he should have known better than to press the issue. Neither of them were morning people. He decided to change the subject. "How's Ferryn?"
"She's fine as far as I know." Tom smiled slightly. "They love her over there. Just as I suspected."
"That's good. She should visit more. She's fun to be around, even if she does kick my ass at video games." Bill laughed as his older brother shook his head. He knew a smart ass comment wouldn't be far behind.
"Anyone could beat you, Bill. It's just unfortunate for you that it had to be a girl."
"Hey! I've beat you plenty of times!" Bill laughed defensively. "Do you guys have an official title yet?"
Tom raised an eyebrow. He knew Bill was pressing for details but rather than argue, he decided to indulge Bill's nosy questions. "We are together. We haven't been able to iron out all the kinks yet though. We've agreed that we both have strong feelings but I can tell she's hesitant. Her track record with men hasn't been the best. Add that with the fact that I'm known as a man whore and her apprehension is justified. I just hope we can meet somewhere in the middle."
"She's a great girl, Tom." Bill grinned. "You're good for one another. I can tell you really care about her."
"I do." Tom nodded as he ran a hand over his tired eyes. "She's someone I never expected to be with. I'm taking it day by day."
"She's special. You've made a good choice. You're getting wise in your old age." Bill laughed as Tom flipped him off.
"You're only ten minutes younger, old man." Tom said as he opened the refrigerator and peered in for something appetizing. "Can we not talk about our birthday please?"
"Tom, 24 doesn't mean we're standing with one foot in the grave!" Bill laughed. "We have plenty of life left. Wasn't it you who did that weird ass flip a few months back just to see if you still could?"
Tom chuckled as he remembered the moment with amusement. "Yes, I did."
"You pulled it off without even really trying." Bill suddenly snorted. "Then Georg tried it and ended up in the emergency department with a sprained ankle."
Tom rolled his eyes. "Now he's an old man who shouldn't be trying stuff like that. He's gonna break a hip and end up in the rest home." He knew Bill was trying to make a point. Tom loved the practicality Bill could bring into his life. "I get the point, Bill. Sorry I'm an ass in the morning."
"It's fine." Bill was on his way out of the kitchen when he turned and looked at Tom with amused eyes. "I'm used to it."
Tom grumbled and pulled out the milk for his cereal. "Yeah, yeah."
-----------------------------
Ferryn scribbled something in her notebook before her hands went back to her guitar. "How about we bring the last verse of the chorus down a step and bring it back up toward the third?"
Blake nodded as he tried her idea on his own guitar. "Like this?" He concentrated on the chords to play them just as she had said.
Ferryn nodded and smiled. "I like it. What do you think?"
"I like it." He said as he nodded enthusiastically. He continued to play quietly. "This is great! Ferryn, how do you do it?"
She shrugged. "Music and I just understand one another." She set her guitar aside. "I'm happy to help."
"You have a real knack for it."
She smiled. "Everyone's meant to do something. You're not so bad yourself, you know?"
Blake laughed. "It took me longer than it should have to figure out my place in the world."
"Everything has its place and time." She said thoughtfully. "Do you want to try the song all the way through?"
He nodded and held the guitar pick between his fingers as he strummed a light acoustic melody. His voice added to the mix shortly thereafter. He looked up at Ferryn and winked at her playfully. Ferryn smiled and listened with interest. His voice had the right amount of warmth and soul to do the song justice. He held the right amount of emotion that was needed to make it work.
Ferryn found that working with Blake was less of a challenge every day. Their creative minds seemed to meld together perfectly, making the process of making music easy. When Ferryn was lacking, Blake was there with a perfect idea. At times when Ferryn couldn't think of a melody, Blake could hum the exact notes to make the song work. When Blake couldn't think of the right lyrics, Ferryn was right there with the perfect words to fit with the melodies. It was a wonderful balance. They had brought in other producers a few times but they could only stand back and watch as the pair took on the task with a perfect creative perspective.
Ferryn continued listening. She'd smile and nod when Blake went through the part they had just corrected. It was the best modification for the song. It now was a solid track and Ferryn was proud. When Blake finished, he set his guitar down and laughed as Ferryn applauded.
"I love it! It came together perfectly!" She said as she stood and offered her hand in a high-five.
Blake's hand made contact with hers with a loud smack. "You're brilliant, Ferryn! I couldn't have done this without you!"
"You don't give yourself enough credit." She was interrupted by the buzzing of Blake's cell phone. "Answer it. Take a break. We both need it."
"You're the best." Blake stood and dug through his pocket.
Ferryn flipped her hair over her shoulder dramatically and smirked. "It's a tough job but somebody has to do it."
He exited the studio and Ferryn glanced at her own phone. She checked the time and counted on her fingers to figure out the time difference. "11 PM. Hmmm." She pictured Tom cooped up in his studio, his slim fingers fiddling with the settings on his sound board as he tried to perfect whatever he was working on. Or maybe he was out enjoying the LA night scene as he once had. It seemed like every time she talked to him he was buried in a new project but never doing anything for himself. She tried not to press the issue of why he wasn't making his own music. Things with their relationship were still new and she didn't want to tread on thin ice. She knew there were a lot of things he had yet to learn about Tom Kaulitz.
They spoke almost every day and found their chatter never seemed to come to a halt. They laughed and joked around while filling one another in on what had happened to them that day. It wasn't uncommon for Tom to slip in some sort of sexual innuendo. He did it mainly because it almost always got a reaction out of Ferryn. He'd shake his head and laugh, wishing he was there to see her face and hold her as they slept. Ferryn was trying to tell herself that distance did make the heart grow fonder. She couldn't wait until she was done in London. She wanted to fly straight to LA instead of flying home to Greenville. That was so unlike her.
Ferryn's thoughts were interrupted as Blake came strolling back into the room. He threw himself down on the couch. She frowned. "Didn't go well?"
He looked solemn. "No, it didn't. Everything's so fucked up. I feel like I'm about to lose her."
Ferryn sighed. "Something tells me you need to go to her." She rocked slightly in her computer chair. "Try and make things right. Plead your case to her."
Blake looked hesitant. "I can't choose between my fiancé and my career. I'd be an ass no matter which one I chose."
"You're not an ass." Ferryn laughed lightly.
"I've done everything I can. I've pleaded my case to her and it's the same shit every time." He pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes. "I don't know why she's doing this but she's going to have to realize that I have a goal and I need to see that it gets done. This is my life now. I have to focus."
Ferryn's brows furrowed. She felt bad for him. "Give her some time. Maybe she needs to put things into perspective."
"You're right, Ferryn. I'm here to make music. Maybe I can put the drama into a song." He picked up his own notebook and pen and began scribbling.
"There you go." Ferryn said. "Put this to good use." She smiled, slightly amused at his determined face.
-----------------------------
Three Days Later
Bill smacked Tom's back in a kind gesture as he led him to the VIP bar and lounge. "Come on. You need to relax. It's pretty bad that you wait until our birthday to allow me to drag you out of that damn studio."Tom laughed as he followed Bill inside the swanky atmosphere. He took a seat on one of the leather couches. "You're lucky I even agreed to this."
"You need to get out." Bill took a seat and smiled kindly at the waitress. "Don't make me take you to a strip club to get you in a better mood."
Tom raised an eyebrow. "I think this is the first time in my life that the idea of a strip club didn't seem appealing."
Bill looked at Tom like he'd just grown another head. "What the hell? Your old age is showing."
Tom rolled his eyes. He laughed as he shook his head before his eyes landed on someone walking into the bar. He craned his neck slightly as he looked for confirmation. He turned to Bill and took a long swallow from his beer. "Oh god."
Bill followed Tom's gaze and his eyes widened. "Shit! Do you wanna leave?"
Tom shook his head. He tried not to stare at the man that had his arm firmly wrapped around the brunette's waist. "No. It's fine. I just- Ugh, I hope she doesn't come over here. I'd rather eat my shoe than have anything to do with her."
"Yeah, running into the dreaded ex on your birthday isn't the best way to celebrate."
Tom nodded as he averted his eyes away from the couple. He still felt a lot of hurt and answer toward his ex-girlfriend. What she had done to him was unforgivable. Granted he had moved on but the feeling never fully subsided, especially when the person that was responsible for all the hurt he'd been through was standing just across the room. "I heard she's engaged."
Bill couldn't deny the hurt in his brother's voice. "If that big ass rock on her finger is any indication, I'd say that rumor is true."
Tom waved the waitress over for another drink. "I need something a little stronger."
Bill look concerned. "Tom, don't do this. This isn't why we came out tonight. You're in a better place now and have gained so much. You have Ferryn and from my point of view, she's so much more amazing than you-know-who ever was. Don't beat yourself up about this."
Tom smiled weakly. "You're right. She is."
Bill tried to change the subject. "Speaking of Ferryn, you haven't spoken with her in a few days. She been busy?"
Tom's face fell as he pictured her in the studio, calling out orders or suggesting certain melodies or a specific group of lyrics. She was always being the leader. "Yeah. Things are going really well for her and I'm happy about that. She deserves this more than anyone. I miss her. I miss her more than I'd like to admit. This-" He said as he gestured toward his ex. "Doesn't help much."
Bill felt bad for Tom. He stood and grabbed the bill for their drinks. "Let's go. We'll go home and order a pizza and drink some beers. We'll watch some movies. It's our birthday and we need to be having fun. You can call Ferryn and see what she's up to."
Tom stood and followed his brother. He pulled out his phone and traced his thumb over the silver screen as he debated on calling. So far his birthday hadn't been as he expected. Having a past relationship thrown in his face and realizing that the one person he wanted to be with was thousands of miles away sucked. He tried to forget about it and not dwell on the petty shit but he felt himself falling into a dark funk as the minutes ticked on.
Thankfully they'd managed to exit the building without eye contact or confrontation with his ex. On the drive home, Bill turned toward his brother. His eyes were full of trouble. "Are you sure you don't want to go to a strip club? You're not cheating if you just sit there and stare."
Tom chuckled at his brother's desperate attempt at cheering him up. "Mom must have dropped you on your head as a child."
Bill shrugged and plastered on an innocent face. "What? We all know you love boobs. It's our birthday! We deserve some kind of-"
"Bill!" Tom interrupted. "I'm fine. I don't need to go to a smokey bar and sit around with a bunch of perverts to make our birthday complete. Don't worry about it. I'm cool with staying at home with movies, pizza and beer."
"If you're sure." Bill shrugged.
"I'm sure. I'm fine." Tom turned his attention back to his phone as he scrolled through the contacts. He stopped on the name he wanted and waited for it to ring. After four rings, voice mail picked up. Tom signed and shut his phone. He shifted in his seat and stared out the window.
"You could have left a message."
"I'm not a fan of messages." Tom shrugged. "I always sound like an ass. I just- I don't even know what I'd say. I'll just try again later."
Bill frowned. "You need to get out of this funk. You're a buzzkill."
"I'm trying." Tom opened his phone again and opened up a new text message.
Tom:Hey, babe. I know you're probably busy. I just wanted to say hi. Call me if you get a minute no matter how late it is. I miss you.
Bill rolled his eyes and watched his brother play with the radio as his knee nervously bounced up and down. This wasn't how he had planned the night for their birthday. Tom was worthy of a good time and Bill was determined to show him one.
Fifteen minutes later, they pulled into the driveway of their house. They walked up the steps to the front door. As Tom put the key in and turned the lock, he felt Bill punch him in the shoulder casually. "I'm gonna cheer you up. You'll see."
Tom smiled at Bill's efforts to make their birthday special. He was relentless. Tom stepped inside the door with Bill following. He tossed his keys on the entryway table and his phone buzzed in his pocket. Just as he was about to reach for it, he stopped dead in his tracks at the sight that greeted him.
"SURPRISE!!"
Tom looked around, startled by the sudden noise. He smiled at all the familiar faces he saw. There before him were all of he and Bill's closest friends. The house had been decorated in red and black and a bar had been set up on one of the balconies.
A round of 'Happy Birthday' from everyone followed as he walked through the living room. He greeted all his friends. Everyone was dressed casually with some type of drink in their hand. Once he had made it through everyone, he turned to Bill who was staring at him with an evil smirk on his face.
"You ass. You're really good at keeping secrets."
Bill pulled Tom in for a hug. "I know. I'm pretty awesome." Bill smiled at Tom. "Now I plan to spend the rest of my birthday getting shitfaced. This better change your mood or I'm hiring a stripper."
Tom laughed and moved to mingle with Gustav, whom he hadn't spoken to in weeks. They carried on a conversation, talking animatedly and catching up on everything they'd missed since they'd last spoken. It was good to see him again. His phone suddenly buzzed and he excused himself from the conversation.
He stepped out onto the balcony that came off the living room. He smiled and greeted his guests that had scattered themselves over the balcony. The night air caressed his face with a gentle breeze. It was warm out but there was just enough wind to keep the heat at bay.
He grabbed his phone. He opened it and immediately smiled as he read the message on the screen.
Ferryn: Sorry I didn't answer! We're in the middle of recording. I'm on a break now so I can't call just yet. But I will when we're done. Everything okay? You seem like something's wrong. What are you up to anyway?
His fingers began their reply.
Tom: I figured you were busy making big hits. Everything's fine. I was just bummed. Bill threw a party for our birthday! I'm pretty shocked.
He laughed aloud at her reply.
Ferryn: What? It's your birthday? Why didn't you tell me? I feel horrible!
Tom nodded and tried to remain polite to the people who passed him. "Damn it! Can't they see I just wanna be along for five freaking minutes?"
Tom: Don't worry about it, babe. I guess we never got around to sharing that sort of stuff. I'm just happy to hear from you!
Ferryn: I wish I was there. I'd find a way to make your day special.
Tom's breath hitched in his throat. He tried not to let the pervert in him to take over. For some reason, her words went directly to his groin. It was obvious he was attracted to Ferryn but he didn't want to sound like an ass who could only think with what was tucked in his jeans.
Tom: Really? Elaborate.
Ferryn: First, I'd take you somewhere you've never been before but have always wanted to see. Then I'd make you a fancy dinner. After you think I'm the best girlfriend ever, we'd go out to the balcony and sip wine and just watch the stars.
He smiled as he read the message. He could picture all of it. It seemed so much like Ferryn.
Tom: Sounds amazing. Anything else?
Ferryn: I'd kiss you slowly until it was hard to breathe. I'd kiss your neck and your jaw, waiting to feel you shiver against me.
Tom was shocked at Ferryn's boldness. Usually she seemed more timid when it came to the physical aspects of love. Maybe the fact that it wasn't face to face made it easier. He swallowed hard. He looked around hoping no one could see him reacting to her words. He cursed himself for getting so into it while on a balcony full of people.
Tom: God, baby! You're killing me here. Then what?
Ferryn: I'd run my hands up your shirt, feeling your smooth skin beneath my hands.
Tom closed his eyes for a second. He could picture Ferryn doing just that. His mind screamed and he prayed that no one had yet noticed his physical reaction. He read on.
Ferryn: Then I'd whisper in your ear to turn around.
He read the text three times, not fully understanding it.
Tom: You've lost me. Turn around?
His screen blinked back.
Ferryn: Turn around.
He tried to separate his mind from the sexual haze she'd put in him and come to fully understand the reality of what she had said to do. It took nearly a full minute before Tom turned around.
He stopped, blinked and stared. His eyes widened as his lips broke out into a large smile.
-----------------------------
Tom's eyes twinkled as he gazed at Ferryn standing before him. Her smiled matched his and he took a few steps forward to close the gap between them. His arms opened wide and she crashed herself into his waiting embrace. Her arms enveloped his neck and he swung her around, holding her close to him. "Oh my god, Ferryn! This can't be real!"
When he finally set her down, their arms remained entwined with one another. She bounced up on her tip toes and kissed just below his ear. She felt him shiver as she whispered, "Happy birthday, baby."
His body reacted immediately as he savored the feeling of her body against his. He pulled back just enough to look into her eyes. They shone with a sparkle he'd never seen before. He quickly captured her lips with his own, letting them linger and sip hers slowly. "I can't believe you're here. How? When did you- Who let you? God, this is too good to be true!"
Ferryn laughed as her hand traced his jaw. "First of all, you can thank Blake's fiancé for sending him through utter turmoil. He got so desperate to fix things with her that he flew home. Secondly, you can thank Bill."
Tom looked up to see Bill standing off in the distance. His face was lit up with a smile as he talked to a petite blonde. "I'm gonna owe him big time." His voice became softer as he released her from his arms but still held her hand in his. "I missed you so much!"
He looked her up and down. Ferryn was wearing a modest, black silk halter dress that stopped just shy of her knees. The fabric molded to her body and Tom almost drooled. Her long hair was swept back and held in place with a clip. It took a moment for Tom to collect his thoughts.
"You look absolutely delicious."
Ferryn turned her head away from his gaze as a blush spread over her cheeks. She rested her cheek against him. His hands immediately went to the bare skin of her back and his fingers caressed the silkiness. "I had to look good for you on your birthday, didn't I?"
He tipped her chin up. "You look beautiful to me every day." His lips touched to hers once more. "Come meet my friends." He pulled her gently to introduce her to the people that meant the most to him.
The night passed by quickly as the couple mingled with the guests. It was the first time in days that Tom felt relaxed and he knew it had to do with Ferryn being there. The pair sat in a lounge chair on the balcony as the guests began to fade slowly. Tom noticed Ferryn was becoming increasingly uncomfortable in her dress and heels. He turned his attention away from Bill and smiled at her. "You know you can go change into something else."
She smiled gratefully. "Thanks. I'm not used to heels."
He kissed her forehead softly. "Go on. I'll be right there." He watched as she stood and made her way slowly back into the house. Tom still couldn't believe she was there. He smiled at his brother and felt the need to give him a huge hug. "Thank you, Bill. For all of it. Especially for Ferryn." He leaned forward and embraced his little brother.
"You're welcome." Bill grinned back at him. "I figured you could use something like this. I knew that out of all the people in the world, Ferryn would be the only one who could cheer you up. I mean, who needs a strip club when you have her?" He winked devilishly.
"Bill, seriously." Tom looked sternly at his brother. "It's not like that. I really care about her."
"I know you do." Bill smirked. "I think everything is taken care of. There are only a few guests left and we've decided to go out to a club. Don't wait up."
Tom nodded and was thankful Bill was giving him some time alone with Ferryn. "Okay. Be careful and thanks again." He grinned as he saw Ferryn making her way back.
Bill smacked Tom on the back before leaving the room with Georg, Gustav and a few of their friends. Tom welcomed Ferryn back into his arms. She still looked gorgeous in her faded jeans and black tank top. He stretched out on the chaise lounge and welcomed her to do the same. He smiled gratefully as she she moved to lay against him. "This is what the good things in life are made of." Tom decided. "Feel better?"
Ferryn nodded and smiled. "Much better. I'd take jeans over heels any day."
Tom snickered. "I can't blame you." He brushed his lips against her forehead. "I still can't believe you're here."
"Believe it." Ferryn said as she lightly pinched him. "See? I pinched you and you didn't wake up."
"Tonight was fun but this is what I was looking forward to. Just laying here with you- It's what I wanted most."
Ferryn turned on her side to face him. She kissed his lips softly. "Me too. I don't want to do anything else but lay here with you."
"It feels good to hear you talking about 'us'. I was worried I was the only one who was thinking about the possibility of an 'us' ever existing."
Ferryn laughed lightly. "No, I was just hesitant. It was only natural and to be completely honest, I still am a little. It's just so new to me and there are so many things that could pop up as obstacles."
Tom looked up into the night sky. "It may take some time but I'll do my best to make sure this works. I haven't felt like this in a really long time. You mean a lot to me."
"You mean a lot to me too, Tom. I never pictured myself here with you but I'm glad it happened."
"Me too, baby." Tom squeezed her gently. "I think we need to have that 'Know everything about you' conversation because I'm positive that I don't know everything about you, Miss Phillips."
Ferryn giggled. She draped a leg over his and scooted closer. "My birthday is October 3rd. I'm allergic to walnuts. I'm addicted to expensive coffee drinks. I had bad drivers. I broke my big toe in the fourth grade. My parents are divorced but it didn't phase me. I love sleeping late and I hate mornings. Working out calms by bad morning mood but I hate sweating. I love the beach but hate the traffic to get to it. And my favorite thing to do is to turn up my music in my car and sing loudly. When other drivers stare at me, I sing to them."
Tom laughed as he ran a hand up and down her side softly. "Is that all?"
"Oh, there's more." She winked playfully. "Just ask." She yawned for the third time since she'd come back outside.
Tom assumed her body was still accustom to London time. "Are you tired?"
"I'm fine." She said as she stifled another yawn. "There's always time for sleeping. Right now, I just wanna be awake with you."
"Can I ask you something without freaking you out?" Tom asked hesitantly. She looked up and nodded. "Do you want marriage and kids someday?"
Her eyes widened but she didn't look startled. "I'd like to get married someday but I don't take it lightly. I plan on only doing it once. I want it to be real." She looked as if she were deep in thought for a moment. "As for kids, I'd like to have one. I love my niece and I see how much my sister changed because of her. I'd love to experience that with the man I love."
Tom swallowed as he felt the faint sting of tears in his eyes. He did his best to blink them away. He saw himself experiencing all that with Ferryn but he dared not speak it. He knew that saying something could push her too far and could break what they were slowly building. He couldn't help but paint the picture in his head. He's painted that same picture before but with someone else who completely shattered that dream.
Tom's silence frightened Ferryn slightly. "Did I say something wrong?"
Tom closed his eyes and pushed the thoughts aside before he rolled onto his back. He grabbed Ferryn's leg and pulled it over his hips so that she was straddling him. She looked down at him curiously. His hands caressed her face softly before they traveled upward to the clip that held her hair in place. He released the clip and her hair fell freely around her shoulders. He tossed the clip to the side before his fingers gently touched the soft tresses. "No, baby. You didn't say anything wrong. I was just thinking about things."
"Good things?"
He gently pulled her face down. Her lips were a mere breath from his as he whispered against them. "The best things." He pressed his lips to hers as his hands slid from her hair down to her neck. Ferryn melted against him. Her hands inched slowly up his shirt. Her fingers grazed his skin lightly. Tom gasped and pulled away, slightly breathless. "Baby?"
Her hands halted for a second as she grinned at him. She caught his lips with hers quickly before answering. "I recall going into detail about someone's birthday surprise."
He welcomed her lips against his. He had to pull back once more as he breathing became ragged. "This could get out of hands quickly." Tom thought to himself. "Ferryn, you don't have to do this. You being here is enough for me."
She removed her hands from his shirt. "You don't like it?"
Tom laughed. "You know damn well I like it. I'm just saying things could get out of hand."
Her face fell and she sat up, putting some distance between them. "Oh."
Tom sat up, feeling slightly guilty for making her stop. He knew it would be more painful for him if they were to continue further and then stop. Her couldn't blame Ferryn though. She had good intentions. There was nothing wrong with taking things slowly.
He lifted her from his lap and stood from the chaise lounge. He offered his hand to her. "C'mon. Let's go to bed."
Reluctantly, she held his hand as they headed to Tom's bedroom. She suddenly felt she had opened a can of worms between them. She wanted Tom to know how she felt. "Tom, it's not that I don't want you. I just- Remember before when I asked if-"
He held up a hand to stop her from talking. He knew what she was talking about. He dropped her hand as he walked over to the desk in the corner of his room. He pulled out an envelope that was still sealed. He handed it to Ferryn as he placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "I wanted you to be the one to open it."
Ferryn stared at the white envelope, noting that it was from a health clinic. Tom sat on the edge of the bed as he waited for her to read the results. Her eyes skimmed over the paper before looking up at him with a blank expression. "You're negative for everything."
Tom smiled and nodded.
Ferryn quickly closed the distance between them. She crawling into his lap, straddling him once more. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
His hands slid down her sides and rested on her hips. "I wanted you to come to me about it on your own. If I just walked up to you and handed you the envelope, it would seem like I was pressing the issue. Kinda like a cheap way of asking you to sleep with me. But that's not what I want. I knew when you were ready, you'd bring it up again."
She leaned her forehead against his and smiled. "You're pretty slick there, Kaulitz." Her head dipped down to kiss his neck. Her kisses trailed up to his ear and she grinned as he shivered. "You're amazing, you know that?"
Tom groaned as he tried to keep his breathing even. "No, but I'm glad you think so."
She nodded as she continued her trail across his jaw and finally met his lips. Tom took control as his hands trailed up her back lightly, causing Ferryn to gasp. Tom used that opportunity to slide his tongue cautiously over her bottom lip.
They moved against one another; feeling, groping, learning all the new territory. Minutes ticked by as they took turns teasing each others' lips and tongues. Tom pulled away to take a long drag of breath into his lungs. His lips quickly moved to the low scoop of Ferryn's tank top and traced the swell of her breasts.
Tom slowly inched her tank top up her sides and smiled when Ferryn readily lifted her arms so he could remove it. He gently caressed her lace covered breasts. He raised his eyebrows in silent permission. Ferryn nodded quickly and Tom continued. His lips descended down her neck and to her collar bone until they came in contact with what he wanted to feel the most.
Ferryn moaned as his hot breath danced over her delicate skin. She slid her hands up the hem of his shirt and let her fingers glide over the muscles beneath it. Deciding that wasn't enough, she swiftly pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor. Tom panted heavily against her ear. "I want you, Ferryn. I want you so badly but this has to be right for you."
She smiled as she ran her fingertips up his sides and he shivered at the sensation. "I want this."
He pulled her tightly against him as he whispered against her lips. "I love you."
Her hands fumbled with his belt. "I love you too, Tom."
He kissed her deeply and his tongue swirled around hers. He stood with her legs still wrapped tightly around him. His hands gripped her ass and he held her against him. He turned and softly released her onto the bed. Her hands successfully unlatched his belt, along with his button fly of his jeans. He kicked them off in one fluid motion. Ferryn's hands found the button of her jeans and quickly undid them before she stood and shimmied them down. She suddenly felt embarrassed as she stood in nothing but a bra and panties.
Tom sensed her apprehension and pulled her tightly against him. He kissed her forehead and ran his hands up and then back down her arms. "You're so beautiful."
She smiled shyly and Tom took a moment to adjust to a side of her he'd never seen before. He was used to her sassy, head-strong manner. His hands flitted up her back and came to a stop at the latch of her bra. He easily released it and she slid the straps down her arms. Tom tossed the lace bra to the floor as he gazed at her breasts. His palms grazed her taunt nipples and he heard Ferryn whimper. He lifted her up and set her gently in the middle of the bed. He followed as he positioned himself above her. He tipped her chin up and saw the passionate haze in her eyes.
Ferryn twined her arms around him and welcomed the weight of his body against her. She lifted her lips to his and moaned lightly at the taste. Tom trailed his kisses down her chest and traced pattern of her breasts before taking one of the sensitive buds in his mouth. Ferryn gasped and he smiled.
Tom continued down the narrow path of her body. His lips slid over the dips of her torso and he caressed the skin with his tongue. He moved down until he was met with the waist of her silk panties. He peppered soft kisses along the top of them and breathed a laugh as he felt Ferryn squirm under him. He stopped slightly as his eyes investigated what he'd just discovered on the left side of her pelvic bone.
"Is this what I think it is?" He looked up at her as his fingertips traced the ink that was embedded in her skin. There were three small music notes tattooed in her flesh. "How have I never noticed this before?"
She laughed. "Yes, it's a tattoo."
"How come I've never seen this before?" He leaned down to lay open mouthed kisses across the soft flesh. He pulled her panties down slowly and tossed them to the side. He made his way back up her body as he laid over her, supporting his weight with his arms. He leaned down to kiss her slowly. He whispered against her lips. "It's sexy."
She winked playfully. "You're sexy."
Tom growled as his hands cupped her breasts once again. He moved upward this time, his lips coming in contact with her neck, her jaw and finally returning to her lips. He continued the assault on her mouth as his tongue slid against hers. He knew that he wouldn't have to stop this time. He knew this time wouldn't result in a cold shower to rid him of his problem.
Ferryn's hands skimmed over Tom's back, feeling every rippled. She bravely moved them down to the waist of his boxers. She slipped her hands under them and ran her palms over his firm ass. Tom growled against her skin. She pushed his boxers down and watched as he kicked them off in one smooth action. Her hands skated up to the ridged muscles of his chest. She lightly scraped her nails over him and smiled when he moaned. Sweeping lower, she felt the dips of his stomach before she reached down and grasped Tom's manhood.
Tom groaned loudly as his eyes flitted closed. "Oh god, baby. Please..."
"Please what?" She asked impishly. "I want to make you feel good."
Tom moved his hand down between her thighs and ran a finger into her folds. His tongue caught her sweet moan. He reached over to the bedside table for a condom. He ripped the cellophane off and expertly slid the condom over his aching member. He leaned down and nipped at her lips playfully which led to heated, passion-filled kisses. He made room for himself between her legs and aligned their bodies. He looked into her eyes and raised his eyebrows in question. At her nod, Tom slid in slowly.
Tom nearly lost it as her tight walls closed around him. It had been too long. He trailed kisses down her face and smiled at her sigh of pleasure. Tom slowly began to thrust as Ferryn wrapped her legs around his waist. It made him drive deeper and faster. "Like that, baby?"
"Unh. Yeah." She moaned happily.
Tom peppered her jaw with kisses. "You feel so good." He moved after as Ferryn slowly matched her hips upward to meet his downward thrusts.
She could feel the tension building. "Oh god..."
"Unh, Ferryn."
His thrusts came harder and faster. Tom's breath came in short, hot bursts against her neck. He could feel her nails dig into his back. He knew she was close and wanted to bring her to her breaking point. He was feeling it too; that tight hotness in the pit of his stomach. He reached under her shoulders, wrapping his arms around her to pull her against him. In one swift motion, he leaned back on his knees. He pulled her flush against his lap as she straddled him.
"Oh! Unh, Tom!" She cried out.
He held her tightly as he watched her head tip back in pleasure. "You okay, baby?"
She brought her head back up and answered him by nipping at the skin around his neck. His hands went to her hips, guiding her as the moves against him. His breaths became choppy and uncontrolled against her ear. Their bodies kept up the pace; quick and hot, chasing the climax.
He knew it was close. He knew she wouldn't be able to hold off much longer and he wasn't even going to attempt to. It was all too good not to let go, to take the fall into blissfulness. Her hips moved quicker and he whispered hotly in her ear. "That's it, baby. Let it go."
His words weaved magic as her arms tightened around his neck. Her body went stiff and she twitched softly against him. "Oh, god. Oh, Tom. Unh!"
His moans matched hers as his thrusts quickened. His body jerked as he rode the feelings of ecstasy. "Ferryn, baby!" Their hearts pounded as one as Ferryn lay limp against him. Their skin glistened with a thin sheen of sweat. Tom gently lifted her off him and lay her back on the bed. He removed the condom and tossed it in the bedside trashcan. He lay on his back next to her and rolled her atop of him. He tipped her chin up and met her eyes. "You okay?"
She smiled brightly and kissed him softly. "I'm wonderful. Happy birthday, Tom."
He smiled widely. "Happy doesn't even begin to describe this birthday." He kissed the tip of her nose. "I owe it all to you, babe. I can't even put into words what's going on through my head. Are you feeling any of this too?"
"Hmmm." She said as she licked her lips. "If you mean happy, relaxed and exhausted after having just had the best sex ever then yes."
Tom chuckled as he traced her swollen lips. "Yes. I mean happy, relaxed and exhausted after having just had the best sex ever. But it's beyond that, Ferryn. That wasn't just sex to me."
Ferryn's eyes welled with tears. "It wasn't for me either."
"It scares me in a way. It hit me out of nowhere. I love you so much, Ferryn."
She tucked her head against his shoulder and felt Tom lift the covers over their tired bodies. "Don't ever stop because I love you too, Tom."
Tom smiled as he ran his hand up and down the naked flesh of Ferryn's back. Her breaths became long and even and he knew she had to be exhausted. His mind was whirring. He had no intentions to ever stop loving Ferryn Phillips. He knew he'd never find anyone like her in his life again. He took a deep breath, inhaling her scent before he too drifted off to sleep.
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Ferryn yawned as she came out of the haziness of sleep. She tried to roll over on her back but discovered she was unable to move. She looked down to see an arm draped over her side and a large hand curled slightly over her stomach. Her mind stopped for a moment as she tried to remember where she was. The memories of last night came flooding back to her and she smiled. Tom's chest was pressed warmly against her back as his arms held her against him. She loved waking up in his bed but each time made it harder for her to think about having to leave him.
She turned slowly and Tom groaned. His solid grip insisted that she stay firmly in place. She gently broke free so she could turn to face his sleeping form. His long lashes fanned above his sculpted cheek bones. His lips were parted slightly and she had the urge to kiss them. She grazed his jawline with her fingers and it wasn't long before his brown eyes blinked open and looked at her. He smiled slightly before he brushed her lips with his.
"Morning." He said against her lips.
She closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of his lips against hers. "G'morning."
"It's always a good morning when I wake up with you in my bed."
Ferryn laughed as he pulled her closer. His hands traced over her shoulders and down her sides before settling on her hips. "I like waking up with you too."
He rolled over so that he was carefully pinning her beneath him. He grinned widely. "Good because I'm not letting you leave."
Ferryn moaned as he kissed just below her ear and felt herself melting against him. Her hands delved into his braids as he trailed upward across her jaw before settling against her hips. He kissed her slowly, taking his time. His tongue bathed her top lip before sucking on her bottom lip.
Ferryn arched into him. Tom slipped a hand between them to caress her breasts. Ferryn gasped lightly and her tongue melted against his in a slow glide. Tom pulled back and looked into Ferryn's eyes. "I want you so bad right now."
Ferryn smiled at him with hazy eyes. "I want you too."
Tom took his time, scanning over every inch of her body. His hands traced over her from top to bottom, curving over her shoulders, down her arms and up her sides. He leaned down and kissed the swell of her breasts. He grazed his lips over her nipples, sucking softly. He traveled down her stomach, placing moist kisses along the way. His tongue circled her belly button and Ferryn giggled. She pulled his head back up for her lips to meet his. "Your skin is so soft Ferryn." Tom said between kisses. "Every part of you is perfect."
"I'm sure I have my imperfections." She whispered as he leaned down to kiss her heated flesh.
He shook his head before continuing to take in every inch of her. He lifted one of her thighs and placed a soft kiss against her knee. He lifted the other leg and repeated the process. His hand traveled downward, finally reaching her center. He slipped a finger into her moist opening. Her body tensed and Tom leaned down to taste her whimper with his lips.
He moved his finger in and out easily before slipping in a second finger. He watched and she squirmed beneath him. "You like this?"
She nodded and pulled him against her as her hip thrust forward. "Yes, baby."
Tom pulled away long enough to grab a condom. Ferryn took the opportunity to push him over onto his back. She positioned herself so that she was straddling his waist. He looked at her surprised but enjoyed what she was doing.
Ferryn smiled. "Don't look so shocked. You deserved to be seduced too."
Tom laughed. "Baby, all you have to do is look at me and I want you."
She leaned down and nipped at his neck before she tenderly traced the shell of his ear with her tongue. Tom shivered as she whispered in his ear. "I think I can do a little better than just looking at you."
Her hands glided over his shoulders and up to his neck. She held his jaw in her palms. She kissed him slowly before it quickly turned into a passionate dance of lips and tongue. Her hands ran over his chest and he shuddered as her nails raked over his nipples. She pulled him up so that he was sitting. He wrapped his arms around her and slid so he was leaning against the headboard.
His lips brushed against her neck before he sucked softly. Ferryn lifted slightly and reached between them to grasp his hard cock. He hissed and bit down against her soft flesh. Her hand gently stroked his dick and his hips twitched slightly.
"Ferryn, I need you, baby."
Ferryn leaned forward and rubbed her lips against his just enough for him to feel the heat of her breath. "Take me."
Tom quickly sheathed himself but Ferryn pushed his hands away before he could enter her. She shifted slightly and grabbed his dick again. She put the head against her opening and teased him with a slow descent. Tom moaned loud enough for his voice to echo throughout his bedroom walls and he squeezed his eyes closed.
He could feel her breath flit across his face before he opened his eyes. Her face was tensed in pleasure, causing him to buck his hips. Her pulled her against him. Her breasts pressed against his chest. The hard peaks nudged against him delicately. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she pulled them together so that their foreheads were touching as her hips moved up and down.
Their breathing came in short, whispered pants. "Ferryn, you- You feel so- so good. So right." Her lips crashed into his. He leaned down and traced her collar bone with his tongue. Her hips continued to move as she picked up her pace. "I don't want you to leave."
A sharp pain ripped through her heart at his words. It was at that moment when she realized they had just made things wonderfully complicated. She had a life outside of California and if things kept moving forward with her career, she really had no idea where she would end up. Her heart still cried out to him. She felt the same thing he was feeling. Ferryn pushed those deep thoughts aside and focused on feeling, loving and moving her hips against him.
Tom moaned as his hips thrust upwards to meet her. His hands grabbed her hips as they moved together. Ferryn shifted her legs so that they came to wrap around his waist and she sank lower onto his shaft. Tom let out a low grunt as his bottom lip pulled between his teeth. His hands guided her movements as they became faster and more frantic. They could both feel the tingle of orgasm.
"Oh god. Ferryn. Unh..." His eyes squeezed shut and his lips pressed against her skin.
Ferryn tipped his chin up and Tom opened his eyes to look at her. Her eyes burned with hues of greens and blues, with a hunger of something bigger. She leaned forward and traced his lips with her tongue, flicking across the seam a few times just to tease him. Skillfully, she moved to his ear. She sucked on his lobe gently before nibbling a little bit. She smiled against his skin as he sped up, trying to match her thrusts.
His moaning grew louder and came in gasps. Ferryn whispered hotly against his ear. "Cum for me, baby." He let out another loud moan. Her lips quickly went to his neck and she bit down as her body tightened with climax. "Unh, Tom!"
Tom's stomach became rigid as his hips jerked with the last of his orgasm. He yelled out his last moan and it sounded as though it came from the depths of his soul. Ferryn trembled against him with the leftovers from her own orgasm.
It took several minutes before their breathing slowed. Tom finally pulled Ferryn's damp head from his shoulder. She looked relaxed and satisfied. He smiled as he kissed her. "That was hot."
Ferryn laughed as he lifted her off him so that he could dispose of the protection. He came back to her and brought her against his chest as they lay among the soft sheets of his bed. "I have to agree with you." She smiled.
His hands rubbed across her arms slightly and he watched as goosebumps formed at his touch. He reached down to grab the blanket to cover their cooling bodies before he pulled her close again. She nuzzled against his neck and he whispered. "I love you, Ferryn."
She smiled up at him and placed a kiss on his chin. "I love you too, Tom."
"I'm so glad you're here." He sighed with content. "First you show up unexpectedly and give me birthday sex and then I get to wake up next to you and have day-after-birthday-good-morning sex."
Ferryn laughed. "You've had a pretty good birthday, Kaulitz."
He laughed and nodded. "I agree. Thanks for being here with me. This is just what I needed. Having you here levels me out. It makes me look around at what I have and see how incredibly lucky I am."
"I'm glad." She said with a smile. "I'm lucky I found you."
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Hours later, Ferryn padded down the steps leading to Tom's home studio. His smooth voice trailed up through the house. He had let her sleep in, knowing her body clock was still on London time. She tapped on the door and it was a second or two before he responded. "It's open."
Ferryn walked in to see him scribbling on a notebook laid in front of him. His glasses were perched on his nose. He tapped a few keys on his computer in front of him. He looked relaxed and comfortable, dressed in a T-shirt and black track pants. He nearly took Ferryn's breath away. He knew how to make simple look sexy. He turned to face her and a smile spread across his face. He held out his arms to her but she just stood in place. "Ferryn? Are you okay?"
She shook out of her daydream. "Your glasses."
His hand went to his glasses and he touched them curiously. "Is there something on them?"
She slid sideways into his lap and he closed his strong arms around her. "No, you just look good in them. Sexy."
He laughed. "Sexy, huh? I guess I'll have to wear them more often." He winked and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Did you enjoy your sleep?"
"So good." She said as she stretched her arms over her head. "I needed it but I feel bad. I came here to be with you. Sleeping seems like a waste of time."
Tom brushed his fingers under her chin. "You need to sleep. You have to take care of yourself. Sleep is vital. I don't want to send you back to London like a zombie."
"We can't have that happen, can we?" When he shook his head, she slid an arm around him. She turned toward the soundboard and looked on with interest. "What are you working on?"
"Nothing really." He shrugged. "I just got inspired and felt like writing."
Ferryn looked thoughtful for a second. "Can I ask you something without you freaking out?"
He raised an eyebrow at her. "I suppose."
"Why aren't you making your own music and putting it out there?" She sighed. "I just don't get it. You have to be one of the most talented people I've ever met and that's not even including what your voice does to me!" She pouted at him. "I just think you have something incredible and it's not fair that you don't use it to its potential."
Tom smirked. "I appreciate your praises but it's a lot more than that." He thought for a second before he continued. "Do you know what it's like to be built up as a great musician and then when it comes down to a real deal, all they want to do is yank you in several different directions at once? I'm not a pushover. I refuse to allow them to use me to punch out some random cookie cutter bullshit image. If I'm going to make music, it will be done my way because it's my heart, soul, blood, sweat and tears that went into it. This is a dirty business and I've been beat up and spit out. I just don't feel like that path is the right way to go. It takes some of your essence and it's not as glamorous as it seems from the outside. After what happened with my ex, I decided I didn't want to be the target of juicy gossip anymore. She pretty much butchered my name. It would take a lot more than I'm willing to give to start over from the beginning."
Ferryn felt guilty. She knew she had hit a nerve. It was a touchy subject for him but she felt even worse now that she noticed the cold tone he used when he spoke. He was still in pain and it hurt her to know that he'd been through so much. He didn't deserve it. She decided to drop the issue. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that."
He shook his head. "You had the right to know. It's just a touchy subject."
"You don't deserve that. The right people will back you though. You just have to find them. You're far too talented to be producing and writing for other people. I have faith that it will happen and I'm glad you don't take bullshit from people."
He grinned. "I see I've found my number one fan."
The mood lifted and the tension disappeared from the air. She stood from his lap and repositioned herself so that she was straddling his lap. "True story. The line forms behind me."
He leaned down so their noses were touching. "I'm glad my girlfriend's got my back." He kissed the sensitive spot right below her ear. "Did you switch positions for a particular reason?"
Ferryn shrugged. "It's more comfortable this way."
"I'm feeling the need to adjust myself." He breathed against her skin.
"Seriously? Didn't we just do this like three hours ago?"
Tom laughed. "I can't help that a gorgeous, sexy, sweet, hot, sassy temptress is sitting in my lap." With each declaration, he placed a kiss on a different part of her neck before finally meeting her lips.
Any objections Ferryn hand were lost on his lips. "You know that every time we do this, it's going to make it that much harder for me to leave, right?"
His hands sneaked up her T-shirt and caressed her ribs and stomach. He outlined her ear with his tongue. "Good. I don't want you to leave."
She whimpered as she fell victim to his seduction. "Tom..."
"I can't help it, baby. I like having you here with me. It's more than just sex. You know that."
"I know." She smiled at him shyly. "It has to be more than just sex because it is to me too. That word cheapens what I feel for you. It's more than that. Much more."
Her words touched his heart. With each moment that ticked by, he dreaded having to let her go. The ache had already begun to settle in his chest. "I think it's called 'making love'."
Ferryn held back a chuckle when she saw how serious he was. His facial expression spoke louder than any comment she could give. She could tell he meant what he said. "I like that." She covered his face with soft kisses. "So do you make love in your studio often?"
He laces his fingers with hers before he brought them to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. His lips spoke tenderly against them. "To be honest, I've never done anything like that in here. This is my own area."
"Then we should go back to the bedroom."
He shook his head. "I think my number one fan is entitled to some hot studio lovin'."
Ferryn laughed despite how crazy his skillful touches made her feel. "Is this recording booth sound proof?"
Tom held her against him as he stood. Her legs wrapped around his waist. "I have a feeling we're about to find out."
Chapter Three