The Muses Within

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Hour By Hour - Chapter Two

11 AM

The door slammed behind Kyrah and she pressed her back against it. She couldn't let him get to her. She couldn't let Richard break her. Not on her first movie, her first real chance. She had fucked up. It had been her fault and he had been right to yell at her. Forgetting lines was one thing but completely forgetting how to act was inexcusable. A demon of some sort had possessed her. It was the only reasonable explanation. Unfortunately, she knew exactly what that demon was, or who he was.

Every time she closed her eyes, she could see him sitting there with her so close, his hand on her face, and that was making her not even want to blink. She didn't understand any of it. An hour before they were friends, kind of. They were co-workers, nothing more. He was attractive and nice but nothing more, nothing special.

Then he tried to kiss her.

One part of her head kept telling her that they were practicing lines. That was all. He was just warming up for the scene. The other part told her he was an asshole, trying to get some play now that his girlfriend had dumped him. Either part worked for her and had logic to it. She didn't know him so she didn't really know how serious he took the whole practicing lines thing. They had never practiced lines together. They hadn't even worked together until that morning. Since she didn't know him, it was very possible that the whole nice guy attitude was just a mask for the player manwhore he really was.

"Don't be nervous."

His voice echoed throughout every part of her. He couldn't have been practicing because that one little line wasn't part of the script and he couldn't have been an asshole because he wouldn't have taken his time, he would have just kissed her. But he hesitated, he waited and he cherished the moment like it was important to him.

If only Julian hadn't interrupted them, then maybe she would have had some answers. They would have kissed and had to talk afterwards. He would have had to explain himself and she sure as hell would ask questions. A quiet, sad laugh escaped her mouth. "No, I wouldn't. I would have sat there, wide-eyed and just as confused as I am now, if not more so."

And he would have bailed probably, like most of the guys that she had shown affections for in her life. "Do I have feelings for Tom? Do I like him?"

No, she was just lonely.

It made sense now. It wasn't a demon that has possessed her earlier but a feeling. It was the feeling that overwhelmed her at times and made her paralyzed. It consumed her thoughts and controlled her actions. Bite by aching bite, it nibbled away at her until she was left like she was now, leaning against the wall, breathing hard and praying that she could go to sleep, wake up and be ten years old again when the only thing that mattered were Friday night slumber parties and the three o'clock bell that signaled her freedom every weekday.

She jumped at sudden rapid knocking coming from the other side of the door she was resting on.

"Open up, diva!" she heard Julian say. As much as he was a lifesaver at times, she wanted to be alone. She shook her head. She felt lonelier that day than she had in a really long time, and what did she want? She wanted to be completely by herself, in her bed, with only her thoughts to bother her.

She moved her hand quickly to the doorknob and locked it. "Hmmm," she thought. It dawned on her that she hadn't used her key to unlock her trailer when she had ran into it earlier. He must have not locked it back. She was going to have to talk to him about that. She didn't want to talk to him. She didn't want that confusion and didn't deserve the type of reaction her body made her have, which was to completely ruin her chances of ever acting again.

Julian's knocking became more persistent and she could hear him yelling something to Celeste. She didn't answer though and quietly walked over to the kitchen table where she had deposited her purse. She reached inside and found her cell phone. Her battery was half dead and she knew she would need to recharge it for the rest of the day.

She just needed on quick phone call, then maybe her embarrassment would be over with, as well as her dream.

Her legs carried her into her bedroom. She ripped off the visor, threw it on the floor as she flopped back on the bed. She pushed herself back against the pillows and expertly tapped the screen to a familiar number, then brought the phone to her ear and waited.

"Ky, how's it goin'? I just finished getting all my ticket stuff ready for next week. I'm excited about coming out there again. I cant wait to see you actually work this time. How's it been? How's the smooching scenes with Mister Hottie Pants?"

Kyrah sucked in a deep breath and something in her snapped. The stone cracked and after a moment of silence and a quiet, "Kyrah you there?" from Kelsie, it spewed forth and she choked on the flow of emotion forced out of her.

"I wanna go home," she sobbed. Her vision was blurred as she stared down at the lavender comforter she lay on. She knew Celeste was going to hate her for ruining the makeup she had on, even though it wasn't a lot but it didn't matter. She wasn't going to go back there. They were going to have to use a S.W.A.T. team to get her out of the trailer. She wouldn't be mentally abused by Richard anymore and wouldn't let him make her feel like a naive child, lost in Los Angeles. She wouldn't do this, this movie, this career, this dream of hers. It was stupid and something that she should have forgotten when she was fifteen.

And she would be damned if she had to spend another moment thinking about that stupid kiss.

"What?!" Kelsie exclaimed. "What are you talking about, Ky? What happened?"

She rolled over on the bed and moaned into the pillow, "They hate me, all of them hate me."

"Who?"

"Richard and-" she sniffed. "Richard."

"What happened now?" Kelsie said in a worried tone.

She flopped back over, ran her forearm under her nose and spat out in a pathetic voice, "He embarrassed me in front of the whole damn crew, Kelsie. I couldn't help it. I just couldn't concentrate and he got really mad and told me I needed to grow up and get my mind out of the clouds and into the character."

"Why did he say that?"

"Because I totally forgot everything." She didn't realize she was whining and kept up her pitiful tone, "The lines, the stage directions, everything. I just couldn't think. He was yelling so loudly and I started to cry."

"Are you PMSing?"

Kyrah rolled her blue eyes, "No, I got over my period last week."

"Are you pregnant?" Kelsie chuckled.

"You know I'm not."

"Well, why did you cry?"

"I don't know. I just I just-" She took a deep breath and when she let it out, she started speaking quickly and didn't realize she was rambling, "I felt confused and lonely and I don't know. Everyone was staring at me and laughing at me and I was just tired of it. It's happened every day since this whole movie started. This is not what I thought acting would be like. And- And so when I started to cry, he told me to leave and not come back to set until I was positive that I wanted to be in this movie."

"Kyrah-"

She didn't hear Kelsie and kept talking. "And then he turned to his assistant and yelled, ‘Get me our casting director on the phone.' And I was completely humiliated. I wanna quit. I just wanna go home."

"Kyrah-"

"I'm serious, Kelsie!" She wiped at her eyes and said frustrated, "I'm tired of it all."

"But, Kyrah, you already sub-leased your apartment up here and everything."

"No, Kelsie. I wanna go home." The tears she wiped away didn't do much and a fresh batch came pouring forth. "I don't wanna stay here in this stupid damn city or New York. I wanna go home."

"No, you don't," Kelsie said softly. "Girl, you've worked so hard. Don't give up on this. This isn't like you. You usually don't get this emotional about this stuff. You've had dick directors and dick photographers and usually you are able to laugh it off, roll your eyes and forget about it. What's different this time? And what the hell is up with you forgetting lines? You know that script by heart. Hell, you studied it every day since I told you you got the damned part," she paused and Kyrah closed her eyes knowing that Kelsie was a sharp girl and could figure things out easily. "What happened out there?"

"Nothing," she said quietly.

"That's crap and you know it. Tell me. Did something bad happen?"

"No!" She said forcefully then eased her tone. "No."

Did something-" She could almost feel the smile in Kelsie's voice come through and touch her. "Good happen?"

"Good?"

"Like, is there a boy I need to know about?"

"Kelsie!" she yelped, surprised she had kind of figured it out

She squealed, "There is!"

"No, there isn't!"

When Kelsie was silent, she realized how forceful she must have been. Finally Kelsie said slowly, "Whoa, okay. What happened?"

She was fed up with Kelsie not really listening to her and trying to get into her head. She needed her to either be okay with her quitting or trying her best to convince her not to but here she was trying to get down to the root of some stupid boy problem. "Kelsie, I'm having a crisis here. I'm thinking about quitting my job and you're concerned with me kissing Tom-"

"What?!"

"Shit!" she yelled when she thought about what she had said. She hadn't told her about the kiss yet and now she had let it out prematurely. Her day was just getting worse and she rubbed her forehead, sure that in a few minutes she was going to have to get up to get an Aleve or two.

"Ok, hold up!" Kelsie said excitedly. "You kissed Tom Kaulitz? Like, outside of the movie kiss?"

"No!" Kyrah boomed.

"You just said you did. So wait, was it during the scene? Was it that good? I mean, isn't he dating-"

"They broke up like last week or something. I don't know. And we were practicing lines. We didn't kiss but he almost did, Kelsie, and- And like- Why would he do that? I mean-" The headache was full blast now, so bad she didn't feel like moving to get medicine.

"You like him," she teased.

"No, I don't, Kelsie. Listen to me, I don't like him. I don't know him."

"He's good looking."

She couldn't believe her agent was playing around about this. It wasn't a joking manner and she was making her feel like a middle schooler. "Kelsie!"

"I'm sorry," she giggled for a moment and then took a deep breath. "Continue."

Kyrah rolled her eyes and sighed. "It's just that- I mean, he tried to kiss me. Okay, whatever. He just broke up with his girl so he's probably just really confused or something, ya know? But it's like- I just- It's made me feel really lonely."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"You're afraid. You always get this way. Remember that guy I tried to set you up with?"

"The soap guy?" she asked.

"He really liked you, Kyrah. I thought you liked him, then suddenly you stopped liking him because he tried to kiss you and you freaked out. It's not that you feel lonely, it's that you want to be lonely and when someone comes into your life who might not make you lonely anymore, you completely flip out and make all these wild excuses and don't act like yourself. And apparently you fuck up your lines too."

Her legs were pulled up against her as she curled on her side. "I don't know what you are talking about."

"I'm talking about how you let Mike completely rule every thought you have about men. Okay, he fucked you over and used you but it's been three years, Kyrah. Get over it."

That comment hurt. She knew that Michael was a sore subject for her and hearing his name was like alcohol to a cut. It stung and even if she was trying to help, it hurt. "What would you know, Kelsie?"

"Don't pull that. We're not talking about me. You know I love you but you've gotta get over it. It's annoying," she laughed a little but Kyrah knew the conversation had gotten a lot more serious despite Kelsie's attempts to keep it light.

"What do I do, Kelsie? Ignore the fact that he tried to kiss me? Act like it didn't happen?"

"No. Talk to him. Ask him what the deal is. Maybe he likes you." The laughter came back and Kyrah started getting fed up with her agent's constantly bubbly personality. "Maybe you two can go on a date."

"That's probably the worst thing right now. He just broke up with his girlfriend and I don't think it's very professional to date your co-worker."

"You're in Hollywood. They all sleep with one another."

Kyrah cracked a small smile at that. Sleeping with Tom she was sure was nice but not something she could afford to do at this point in her life. But it would be nice. "Well, what if it happens? What if we do go out, have a great time, go on a few dates and whatever? Then if we break up or get in a fight, how the hell are we supposed to work together?"

"Like I said, you're in Hollywood, babe. That's how they roll."

"Well, it's not how I roll," she chuckled.

"Okay, okay. No date, but still talk to the boy. Tell him you just wanna be friends and don't want anything else coming in the way of work but don't let that ruin your dream, Kyrah. God, you're gonna let Tom Kaulitz's lips ruin your life."

"His hands, too. He touched my face." The sound of her voice was distant and when Kelsie only cleared her throat over the line she realize how she sounded. She did sound like she liked him. That was impossible though. It wasn't her fault he was attractive. In fact, it was his and he should have done something to tone it down. "Damn, Kelsie, he's so hot!"

"Maybe you just need a good deep dicking."

"Kelsie!" She couldn't believe how blunt her sweet little manager was being.

"What? It'll calm you down I think," she giggled.

Suddenly there was a high pitched beeping in her ear and when she pulled the phone away she saw her sister's phone number in the screen. "Shit, my little sister is on the other line," she said to Kelsie.

"Call me back later, okay? No quitting today."

"I'll try," she sighed.

"Good luck, Ky."

"Thanks, Kelsie." She swallowed her pride for a moment and said, "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"I wouldn't be your agent if I couldn't handle it," she quipped. "Bye."

Kyrah sat up and tapped the screen on her phone, then brought it back to her ear. "Hey, Syd. I thought you couldn't have your phone at school?"

"I'm not at school. Mom let me have the day off," she said in a chipper 16-year-old tone.

Kyrah's eyebrows furrowed, "Are you sick?"

"No," her sister laughed.

"What? She never did that for me!"

Her sister sighed over the phone in a disappointed manner, then said, "You forgot didn't you?"

"What?" She didn't know what her sister was talking about and was still confused as to why she was calling her at 11:30 on a school day or why on Earth her mom would have let her have the day off. She was definitely still thinking about her morning and how completely shit it had been. She wondered if she could tell her sister she'd call her back later. She hated it when she had to half-ass her attention to her sister and knew she was doing it right then.

"Ya know what, never mind. I'll talk to you later."

Suddenly her bedroom door burst open with Julian and Celeste right on his heels. She rolled her eyes and said, "Hold on, Sydney." She pulled the phone away and shook her head at the two imposters. "How did you get in?!"

"Dakota has all the keys to all the trailers in case we need them to set up earlier or someone looses them or locks us out!" Celeste laughed and took a seat on the edge of the bed.

"Can I call you back later, Sydney? I'm on set and-" she didn't hear anything and looked down at the phone. There was no call in progress. She brought it back to her ear. "Sydney?" When she got no response she pouted and reached over to put it on her nightstand. "She hung up on me."

"You're baby sis?" Julian asked, lying down on his stomach on the bed.

"Yeah."

"Maybe she had to go," he shrugged, then put a hand on her leg, squeezing it affectionately. "Now, why are you locking us out? We know Richard is a little shithead but forget him."

"You guys, I completely fucked up," she covered her face with her hands and peeked out at the girl on her bed. "You were there, Celeste. You saw."

"Girl, it wasn't that bad," she responded sympathetically. "I mean, so you forgot your lines and Richard got a little hot headed like always. You shouldn't cry about it."

"I wanna quit," she crossed her arms over her chest.

"No! Hell no!" Julian pushed himself off the bed, stood at the end of it and snapped his fingers. "I ain't working with no little bitch. I got enough of a problem with Mister Kaulitz."

"Can we not talk about him?" she moaned.

"He likes you," Celeste giggled.

"What?!" They had to be joking. He couldn't like her. "He was just too into the scene or not over Ria or- Or a prick or something. But like me? No. That couldn't happen. Could it?"

Julian waved his hands as he talked, "Totally likes you. Blushing, wanted to know what you thought about the kiss and what you said and all this stuff."

"What did he say?" she asked eager to know what he had said about her.

"Oh my god!" Julian squealed.

"What?"

Celeste laughed, "You like him back!"

"I really do get to play Cupid!"

Julian held up his hand to high five with Celeste's and instead she pushed him out of her face. "Shut up!" She moved her attention to Kyrah and asked honestly, "Do you like him?"

She fell onto her side and the comforter muffled her answer, "No!"

"Ahhh! You do! You do! You dooooooo,"Julian sang and danced around the room.

"I just said I didn't!" she growled.

"Well, he likes you. He was as giddy and confused as a high school boy," Celeste laughed and she couldn't take it anymore. She sat up on the bed and pounded her fist into the comforter.

"You guys, this day has been so horrible and you're making it worse!"

"You almost kissed Tom and you're gonna get to kiss him in about an hour!" Julian said.

She fell back on the bed and slung her arm over her eyes. "Don't remind me."

"I promise you it'll be okay."

She heard a smack and an "ow" come from Julian, then heard Celeste say in a calmer voice, "You should talk to him."

"I don't wanna see him," she pulled her arm away and glared at Julian who was making kissy faces at her. "Or anyone else for that matter."

"Ouch," he said.

She sighed and looked up at the ceiling, hoping she could plead with them to either drop the subject or leave her alone. Actually she just wanted Julian to leave, then have Celeste stay because she seemed the only person in her life that was acting halfway normal about the situation. "Guys, please-"

She didn't get the chance to say anything more and they didn't say anything either.

"Can I come in?"

She took a deep breath and sat up on her bed. He was standing there, leaning cautiously into the doorway with a scared little smile. He was dressed in flip-flops, jeans, a white undershirt and a zip up black hoodie on top of that. His eyes bore into hers and he didn't acknowledge the presence of anyone else.

She gulped. "Hi."

"Hey." He passed her an easy smile.

"Ohhhh." Julian interrupted their silent staring contest with his loud outrageous voice. "I think I have to go," he laughed and walked over to Tom. "Make an excuse for an exit so you two can have passionate sex," he patted Tom's chest, then scampered out of sight calling out, "Later, lovers!"

Celeste chuckled and rolled her eyes, leaning forward to smile a little. "I'll be back in 15 minutes to do your make up and get you ready for the next scene, okay?"

"Celeste-" Kyrah reached forward and snatched her forearm. She didn't want to be left alone with him and knew they were both obviously leaving so she and Tom could do something.

She didn't want to do anything with him. She wanted him to disappear and stop clogging her brain.

But it was too late and Celeste quickly stood up and walked to the doorway of her bedroom. "I'll be back," she called over her shoulder and slipped past Tom.

It was quiet for a moment and she heard her trailer door slam in the other room. Tom turned to look at the door for a moment, then back at her.

She prayed she'd stop staring at him but it was so hard and the longer he stood there, the longer she was frozen, unable to tear herself from him.

"Shit, they're right."

She could feel herself breathe and hear her heart beating inside of her. He licked his lips and every nervous feeling she felt when he whispered those three words, "Don't be nervous" came tumbling down on her and soon she was pinned underneath them, stuck, right where he could get to her.

She couldn't like him. It was unprofessional. It was the last thing she needed on her mind. It was the truth.

"I like him."

He stepped forward, then stopped. She watched him closely and he looked down at the floor for a moment and scratched his neck shyly. He glanced up at her and she didn't realize she was about to start crying again. Her vision blurred and his eyebrows furrowed as he watched her closely.

The intense feeling of emotion got caught in her throat and she swallowed it back down.

"Kyrah-" he whispered. When she saw him moving towards her, she curled up into herself and prayed he wouldn't touch her or kiss her or say anything that made her like him even more. She couldn't afford having a crush on him and she couldn't afford for him to do something to make her feel special. She had lost that feeling long ago and was terrified for it to come back and be ripped away from her again.

12 PM

Something had happened to her. Whatever it was it was, it was bad. She was scared, curled up on her bed, cowering away from him. He was determined to get to the bottom of it. Someone like her, someone with her grace and her smile shouldn't sit on their bed crying and afraid of a friend. Unless, of course, that friend was the one who hurt her.

He breathed heavily, realizing that Julian and Celeste must have been telling her about him, about his reaction, about what he said about her. Now she was scared of him. She was scared he was going to make another move on her and put her in a compromising position. He should have known better than to have gotten a crush on his co-worker, then have the nerve to go blab about it to everyone.

But they forced it out of him. They knew from the moment they looked at him that he had feelings for her. Bill was right, he was a shitty actor.

Words left him and he felt like a complete fool standing in her bedroom as she cried, not doing anything to comfort her. He didn't feel like he had the right or the privilege to console her, yet he couldn't leave her upset. He couldn't see her upset. It made him ache to stand there and just watch her. It was slow torture and he didn't know how to stop it.

He couldn't handle seeing her cry anymore. It was almost as bad as seeing his mother cry. He stepped forward, unable to control himself, and said her name, "Kyrah-"

"Just go away, Tom," she moaned into her hands, then fell over on her side and curled in a ball. He didn't know what it was he had done to make her so upset but whatever it was, he felt horrible for it. He knew he shouldn't have fallen for her or to try and kiss her but it was too hard not to.

"I'm sorry," he said as he bowed his head and quickly left the room. He stopped when he stepped outside the bedroom and stared at the couch where he had almost made something happen between them. He almost wished he had just gone for it and not cared about any knocking or Julian's voice. Then maybe she wouldn't be confused or hurt or whatever emotion it was that had her so miserable.

He was at the door of her trailer about to exit, when he heard, "Wait." His body did just that and he turned back around and walked determinedly straight for her when she said, "Come back."

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked desperately as she rolled over to face him. He didn't care if he was getting too close as he sat down on the edge of the bed, turning his body so she could look at him.

She sniffed and rubbed under her eyes. "No, it's not you-" She sat up against the pillows and sighed, staring up at the ceiling. "I just can't get Richard to like me. I really think that if I don't quit, he's sure as hell going to fire me."

"No, he's not. He likes you."

"Spare me the bullshit will you?" she replied harshly.

He was taken back for a moment. He had never gotten the impression from Richard that he didn't like Kyrah. In fact, he had always been told that Richard thought very highly of Kyrah and was glad he got to be the person to discover her before any one else. He had been told that their director had been a little hard on her lately but sitting in a trailer crying her eyes out seemed a little extreme. "He's always told me that he likes you. Maybe he has changed his opinion. I don't know. I don't see any reason to believe that he hates you or is going to fire you or anything else."

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes and he stared at her hard. There was something else there in her eyes. There was fear in her eyes and a distance that seemed to veil her from the rest of the world. She was scared right then with him. He nodded to himself and didn't move his gaze from where she was trying to pretend she didn't notice him staring at her.

"This has to do with something else," he stated.

"Like what? My job? My dream collapsing in on me."

"That kiss," he said causally. "Or me trying to kiss you."

She was staring at him now. Those sky blue eyes stared back at him, terrified of him. "You were just practicing," she mentioned weakly.

He shook his head and smiled. He didn't know why she was trying to play it like nothing happened. They needed to talk about it. They needed to talk it out and come to some sort of agreement about how they were going to be with each other. He knew he shouldn't pursue her but he couldn't help himself. She was just too good. "You know as well as I do that wasn't no practice."

"Tom-"

He immediately became annoyed at her whiny tone. It made him feel weird, like he was back in time with previous girls and their previous immaturity with relationships. He didn't want to get into it with her if she was going to act like that. Especially if she was going to whine his name until they didn't talk about it anymore. "God, what's wrong? You make it sound like it's the worst thing."

"But it is!" she said. She said it so forcefully and with such meaning, he was taken aback for a moment. He knew she wasn't an immature girl. She was a woman, a woman who had reservations about dating him and probably for damn good reasons. He just hoped those reasons were ones he could smash and get past.

"Oh." Realization of what she had just said slowly came to him. She thought kissing him was horrible, 'the worst thing.' He took a deep breath and looked down to the floor.

It hurt.

"I can't fall in love with a coworker. I can't. I can't do anything, Tom. I can't kiss. I can't go on a date. I just can't."

The annoyance he felt before vanished. It left an empty cavity that was filled with hope. He could see himself with her for a long, long time.

"Why not?" he asked.

She pushed herself off the bed and began to pace in the small space of her bedroom. "You don't understand, Tom. You're set. You've got your career and your life. I don't. I have to work for it. I don't want the press and the crew and Richard wondering what's going on with us every five seconds."

"You're gonna have to get over that, Kyrah. That comes with the business. Being out here, everyone wants to know what you're up to. Not to sound cocky, but for some reason everyone takes notice of me." He sighed and watched her as she began to clean up some clothes that were on the floor and put them in a hamper in the corner. "So if you associate yourself with me, they are going to ask questions."

"That's why this won't work," she said simply. "It never works." She turned her back to him and he couldn't stand it anymore. He stood off the bed and walked to her, putting his hands on her shoulders. She tensed up, then relaxed.

"Don't," she whispered. "Please don't." Despite her words, she leaned back against him and he took the invitation to wrap his arms around her and hold her tightly.

"Why not? I like you," he started to kiss her ear, wanting to be with her but she roughly broke from him and turned around, narrowing her eyes at him.

"What are you trying to do to me? You just- You think this is fun, don't you?" Her voice turned angry. "You think this is going to work out? Well, it's not."

"Kyrah," he sighed. He didn't mean to get her upset. It wasn't a game to him. He didn't like to play games with girls. He had when he was younger, before Chantelle, and every time he had not only hurt the girl but tore a little bit away from his soul. He couldn't explain what was happening to him. He was scared. Hell, he was terrified that if they got into this, if they went so far as to have a relationship and something happened and she pulled a Chantelle or a Ria or even a Sabrina and left him for one reason or another, he knew it would be the last straw for him. He knew it would end him.

Somehow with her, there was just something there. Faith or hope or something was there and it was strong enough for him to want to jump into the vast abyss to discover the truth about the unknown future they had at their fingertips. Some deep feeling within him told him that their future was a damn good one.

He honestly had feelings for her and he wasn't just going to check them off as rebounds.

"Tom, god, you just broke up with your girlfriend and I'm a lonely little girl out in LA for the first time. It's just all the stress and the pressure of this movie that's bringing us together. That's all it can be."

"That's a lie," he said as he gripped her arms tightly, shaking her a little to prove his point. She was slipping away, slipping past the point of accepting him and he couldn't let that happen. "You can't tell me you didn't feel it?"

"What?" she asked.

His hands eased their grip and he slowly moved his hands up over her arms, suddenly wanting to feel so much more of her. "This morning, when the pole fell, when we were practicing- Damn it, right now, Kyrah!" She wouldn't look at him and finally closed her eyes and her lips parted in a soft sigh when his fingertips skimmed softly across the neckline of her shirt. "You can feel it. I know you can."

"Don't do this," she whispered when his hand came up to her neck. He didn't listen to her and continued to touch her, caressing her neck softly with one of his hands and linking their fingers together with the other.

"What are you afraid of, Kyrah?" Her eyes opened and they were watery with tears. He didn't want her to cry again but he wanted to get inside those tears and find out why they were there. "God, it's like you want to be lonely. It's like you're afraid of not being that way."

"I'm-" she took in a deep breath. He felt his body shiver just a bit when her small hand came up to clasp the wrist of his hand that was holding her cheek. "I'm afraid of being left alone. So- So I'd rather just stay this way, instead of being crushed again."

"I won't-"

She gripped him tighter and pulled his hand off her. She threw off his other hand away from where it was clasped with hers at her side. "Don't promise me things you don't know about, Tom. What is this? You've known me for like four hours and you don't know me. You don't know anything about me and here you are telling me that I shouldn't care about the crew and Richard and basically shouldn't care about my career. I can't just blow that all away on my attraction for my costar."

He couldn't help himself and his hands went back to holding her face, pulling her close to him and searching her eyes. He licked his lips and asked softly, "What about your attraction for a guy named Tom? What about his feelings for you? I can't explain it, Kyrah. Damn it, I wish I could but I like you." She just stared at him. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to kiss her like it was his dying wish but instead, he just lowered his eyes and whispered. "I like you," he stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. He couldn't help himself when one of his hands dipped lower and he brushed his thumb over her lips. She sighed and closed her eyes. "I like you. I don't understand it but- But I do."

The faintest smile appeared on her face when his forehead touched hers. He moved his hand from her lips to the back of her neck with every intention of pulling her forward for a kiss. He could feel her breath against his mouth and could feel her hands on his arms, not pulling him away but holding on for the ride, ready to enjoy the bliss they were both about to experience.

It was going to be so damn good.

"Kyrah? You ready?"

"Shit," she whispered and he felt his forehead fall to her shoulder in defeat. "I understand that," she said.

He pulled away, knowing the moment was ruined with Celeste's voice echoing in her bedroom. There was no point in trying anything further "Are we okay?"

"Yeah, just-" she sighed and smiled at him. "Let's just let things happen and not push anything."

He returned her smile and it made him feel like jumping, knowing that she wasn't just saying no to the possibility of something developing between them. She was actually giving it a chance. "That sounds good."

"I-" He melted when she blushed and pulled her close in a hug when she said, "I like you too, Tom. I just-"

"I know, I know."

"Kyrah?"

She pulled away and straightened out the clothes she was wearing before she stepped out of her room, looking back at him for a moment. "I'm here."

He walked behind her and found Celeste cautiously standing by her trailer door with a hanger of clothes wrapped in plastic and a small little bag in the other. "I'm sorry but I really need to get you ready."

"It's okay."

He stepped behind her and put his hands on her shoulders, squeezing her. He saw Celeste notice. He bit his lip nervously when she started to smile at them. "I probably should go. We have lunch after this, right?"

"I think so."

He pulled away and stepped towards the door. "Do you want me to have Bill get you something?"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course," he smiled at her and liked it when she smiled back at him. He was starting to fall in love with her smile. "We're probably going to McDonald's but we can run by and get you something else."

"McDonald's is fine," she shrugged and moved to walk over towards her makeup area.

"I get everything free there," he winked at her and she laughed at him through the mirror as she sat down in the chair. Celeste followed her, setting down her bag.

"You're lovin' it, huh?" Celeste said, then hummed the famous theme song.

"You want something, C?" he asked.

Celeste sucked the air through her teeth and shook her head in mock disappointment as she began to put powder on Kyrah's face. "McDonald's isn't very vegetarian friendly."

"They have salads," he said. "Bill and I are vegetarians." Then all his attention was forced to Kyrah. She was laughing at him but it was a purely happy laugh and it made him feel warm inside.

He was starting to think that just maybe, just maybe, he liked her a little more than he thought. Maybe he was on the verge of falling in- "No, too soon. Way too soon."

"I'll pass," Celeste chuckled.

He got Kyrah's order, then quietly left the girls alone. They were already chatting about something. When he began to close the door, he caught her staring at him through the mirror. He smiled at her and left her to go tell Bill what they wanted for lunch. Bill noticed his chipper attitude and immediately questioned him about what had happened but Tom kept a tight lip.

He didn't want to jinx anything and didn't want any information swimming around the set than had already done so. He normally told Bill every sizzling or not so sizzling detail when it came to women he liked but with Kyrah, he felt every moment they shared was sacred and retelling of those moments seemed sacrilegious in some weird way. He wanted her to like him and even though he had told her otherwise about the crew and Richard, he wasn't about to take that chance of having everyone looking at them wondering, whispering, questioning.

Bill got distracted with a phone call from Eliza and left to go get their lunch. He was left alone for what seemed like the first time all morning. Being that alone with only himself to talk to, he thought about her. It was the only subject in his mind. She was fragile and yet at the same time strong. She knew what she wanted and was grateful to be where she was but she was torn and she was terrified that her position wasn't a stable one. She reminded him of himself when he first started out so many years before.

He had a sudden desire to guide her and protect her. He wanted to show her everything he knew and at the same time be with her for every new experience she had. She was special. He shook his head. He was getting way too ahead of himself. Ria and he were just now finished and even though he felt like he was almost ready to go run away with this new girl, he'd be lying if he denied that part of him was afraid. Now that he was alone, he saw the truth in everything Kyrah had told him.

It had been less than a week since Ria had officially called it quits, and less than 24 hours since she had driven off with all her stuff. Maybe he was just on the rebound or lonely. Maybe he was just like Kyrah. Maybe he was scared of really being left alone.

"Shit," he muttered and ran his hands over his cornrowed head, realizing he had been leaning against his door this whole time, thinking. It was almost time for the shoot to start and he knew he needed to get there to go over some stuff with Richard. He needed to ask him how to approach her, how to kiss her, how to romance her.

It then dawned on him.

"This is the kissing scene."

He walked slowly toward the set, reluctant to have to do this scene. On his way, he passed her trailer. He tried not to pay attention and pretended not to notice that she was walking out of her door as he was passing but it was no use. She looked beautiful. Her hair looked like it had been soaked, then lightly towel dried. It hung in long waves on her shoulders. She was wearing a pair of men's shorts as well as a white T-shirt, both of which swallowed her small frame.

"Hey! Like the outfit?" she smiled at him and once again and he found himself breathless.

"Yeah," he laughed as she walked down the steps of her trailer towards him, tugging at her stringy hair and making a silly face. "You look kind of wet there."

Julian ran up behind her and sprayed her with a little spritzer bottle, then ran off, "I get to spray her continuously during the shoot. I love it!"

"Shut it, Julian." she yelled after him, then shook her head and nudged him with her elbow as they slowly started walking toward the big building in front of them. "Are you ready?"

He chuckled and felt chills come over him when his hand accidentally brushed against her as they walked. "I guess we're gonna find out."

It had suddenly become cool outside and a breeze ripped through as they walked to set. He pulled down the sleeves of his hoodie and looked at her as she squealed lightly and rubbed her forearms.

"Cold breeze, huh?"

"Weird as hell. Feels like I'm back in New York or something." She crossed her arms over her chest and he realized then that she wasn't wearing a bra. He forced his eyes elsewhere. "Let's get inside and we'll go over the lines a bit again before we have to actually shoot." She pushed open the door and winked at him. "But no practicing."

He chuckled, "Yeah."

They got inside and started walking over to their chairs where Julian and Nichole were getting everything set up. He looked over and she was already thumbing through her script. He started to do the same but immediately realized he didn't have his script. "Fuck."

"What?" she asked and slowed down her pace.

He stopped walked. "I left my script."

"You can share with me," she shook her head a little confused.

"But mine has all these notes in it that Richard gave me last week," he ran his hands through his hair and sighed, "Fuck."

"Go run and get it," she shrugged. "I'll try and stall."

"I think it's in your trailer actually. I accidentally left it there-" He felt his face turn red. "You know, before-"

"Oh." It made him feel a little better when she started to turn a bit pink as well at the memory of their second almost kiss. She bit her lip and looked at him, then handed him her script. "Well, let me run and get it."

"I can go," he shook his head.

"No, I'll be quick. Plus, I'll get us some Altoids."

"You need some," he snatched the script from her and swatted it at her as she started to jog away.

She turned and stuck her tongue out at him playfully. It made him smile like he was 10 years old again and Julia from across the street had kissed him in her treehouse. Kyrah made him feel that way. She made him feel young and carefree and excited but she also made him feel desires that not even Ria had pulled out of him. Maybe in the beginning of their relationship he had felt them but it had died down so quickly. Those feelings rushing back to him were making him feel invincible.

"Tom! Where's Miss Kyrah?"

Tom jumped and turned to see Richard stalking towards him. "She, uh- Had to go run get something."

Richard shook his head in disappointment and put his hand on Tom's shoulder. "Well, she'd better hurry up. This is a precious scene. Remember what we talked about earlier this week? About how this scene is laid out? How Victor's feelings are very guarded but not with her?"

"Yeah. I remember."

"You want her in this scene," Richard said quietly. "You want her badly. You need to exude some type of feeling like, if you don't get to kiss her you'll just die. Like, you're thirsty for her. I don't want to see hunger. This isn't a soap opera or a porno. I want lots of passion but sweet passion. Calm passion. Quiet. Got it?"

"I think so. Does Kyrah know all this?"

The director rolled his eyes. "Well, she would if she were here."

Tom felt bad that Richard was annoyed with her again and began to explain, "It's my fault, she went to get my-"

"Oh god," he heard someone say. It sounded like Julian.

He turned and saw her, standing about halfway between them and one of the doors of the set. Someone walked quickly to the door and opened it, outside was a blinding rain. She had been caught in it on her way back. Her outfit, her hair, his script and her whole body was dripping with cold, wet rain. She smiled sadly and began, "It-"

"Kyrah!" Richard yelled in a disappointed tone, much like a mother would give a child when they found out they were making bad grade.

"I'm sorry," she whispered and Tom longed to reach her. She was obviously freezing and wetness that was now on her face wasn't from the rain.

"Oh my god," Richard sighed and ran his hands over his face.

He watched in agony as she ran forward and set down his script on a chair, grabbing a towel from Julian and drying herself off rapidly while quickly saying, "Just let me dry off for a minute and I'm sure Julian and Nichole and get me set back up in no time."

Tom knew it was a lost cause. Her outfit was ruined and her makeup was running. He glanced at the director and was suddenly scared of what was about to come. "Time?" Richard laughed bitterly. "Do you have any idea how much time has been wasted today? Every minute wasted is production money that we can't afford to lose."

"Richard, she didn't know," Tom said. He coughed a little not realizing he had just stood up for her. The place was deathly quiet. You could hear someone clear their throat in the back and the squeak of her wet flip flops against the cemented floor echoed in his ears. Tom laughed nervously. "I mean, you can't predict the weather and she was going-"

"I left my script," she interrupted, staring at him, then darted her eyes to Richard. He didn't know why she stood up for him and lied, putting all the blame on herself, but she did and it made Tom feel horrible. "I'm sorry, it won't happen again. If it does, I won't go back to get it last minute. I'll just borrow it from someone else. I'm ready to do the scene."

"Well, I'm not ready! I can't think!" Richard sighed and shook head. "Let's just move lunch up to now and we'll shoot this scene in an hour. Hopefully by then you'll really consider whether you want to do this part all wet or not."

"I'm sorry-"

"I know, Kyrah. You're sorry," he shook his head and Tom realized why Kyrah was always so upset about Richard being so harsh on her. He also saw that Richard wasn't mean to Kyrah out of pure hatred, he was worried for her. He saw disappointment in Richard's eyes and as the man stared at her, he knew that their director was trying to teach her to buck up. If she didn't do that now, she wouldn't last in this business.

He wasn't mean to her because he wanted to be. He was that way because he wanted to protect her. He was trying to give her a hard shell so later on, she'd be able to handle it but she wasn't handling it.

"You're always sorry. Every damn day on this god forsaken set you've been sorry," he shook his head again, then turned to the crew and yelled with a smile. "We're gonna postpone for an hour. Go ahead and take lunch."

He watched Richard walk off talking with one of his assistants. He didn't really know what to do but knew that she was probably really upset with herself for once again messing up their schedule that day. He couldn't help but feel guilty. It was his fault she had ran out and got caught in the rain.

It was weird and funny in a way. It was like the movie was coming to life in a sense. The scene they were planning on shooting was supposed to take place right after his character and hers got stuck in the rain on the side of the road. It was like someone somewhere was trying to tell them something but he wasn't quiet sure what that was.

All he knew was that he needed to comfort her. He turned to her but she wasn't there. When he glanced at the door that a few people were looking out of in amazement at all the rain that was now coming down, he knew she had run back to her trailer.

He sighed and slowly walked toward the door, hoping he could find an umbrella and praying that if he found her in her trailer, he'd be able to convince her to stay there that day, to stay with him and not give up like he knew she was on the verge of doing.

He couldn't have her give up on her dream, on this job and he'd be damned before he let her give up on the possibility of a relationship with him without giving it a chance to begin.

1 PM

The warm water wasn't much of a comfort but it kept her teeth from chattering. The rain was cold and soaked her through and through. Richard words were like ice and she was left frozen. This was it. She was sure she was done for. She had cracked. There was no use hiding it or trying to pretend, she sucked as an actress and sucked as a human being, and was about to be handed a one-way ticket back to New York but she didn't want to go there. She wanted to go home and cry to her mom, and have her dad give her some comforting advice, and spend some much needed time with her sister.

The tears that came from her eyes were not only from the episode she had just had, the embarrassment of being told off or having Tom see her in such a broken down state. No, she had realized that today was not just any day but her sister's birthday. She had forgotten. Normally this wouldn't have been such a huge ordeal but she had forgotten this very special date a year before and had made promise upon promise that she would never forget it again.

But she did. She had been concerned with her own life, with her own failure, and her mind had been consumed with Tom. She had completely forgot that her sister turned sixteen. Maybe going home would be a good thing. She had been out of it and out of her family's life for too long. The only problem was that she was pretty sure acceptance from her sister would be hard to come by. She sighed and leaned her head against the glass door of the shower. She never expected her life to be unraveling before she could even hit twenty-five. She had nothing much to live for except herself. She had little responsibility to anyone else and no ties, except for her family. It made her miserable.

She was so burdened by what was going to happen. She really couldn't think of anything positive at the moment. Her family probably hated her, Richard thought she was horrible, the rest of the crew laughed at her, and she was sure her only true friend Kelsie was about to be very disappointed in her. There was only one person that was still there, still had hope for her and that was Tom.

"Tom."

She tried to fight it but a soothing calm came over her and a smile spread on her face. It was wrong and it was impossible and stupid for them to actually try doing whatever it was they were doing. But he liked her. He liked her a lot. She could tell by the way he looked at her and the way he touched her. He was soft and gentle and was scared of pushing her too far and trying desperately to restrain himself from doing anything. She wanted to tell herself to be cautious, to not trust him, to not give in, to not feel anything because they were co-workers, nothing more.

But his eyes were so beautiful and his smile was so genuine. He was cute and didn't seem to try too hard with her. He was always calm and relaxed. His presence soothed her. Being gorgeous didn't hurt either.

She got out of the shower and toweled off. She squeezed her wet hair out into the towel, then got another dry one to wrap around her body. It was her lunch break and she was unsure if Tom remembered about the McDonald's thing. She figured she'd make herself a sandwich, then call her sister and try her best to muster up some kind of apology. She wasn't so sure how successful she would be.

She opened her bathroom door, then padded over to the door of her bedroom so she could go out and find her cellphone somewhere else in the trailer. She opened the door and stopped all movement.

He was sitting there on her couch, carefully making a spiral of ketchup on a mound of French fries he had poured onto a paper plate. He glanced up with a smile, then back down at his fries, "Hey." He looked back up at her and just stared, realizing that she was just there in a towel.

"Hi," she squeaked back. He looked so damn good just sitting there on her couch, McDonald's food smell surrounding her and a large bag sitting on her coffee table.

"I thought you were hot from the moment I saw you, but this," he laughed a bit and shook his head, scanning her body with his eyes. "This takes the cake."

"Oh my god," she suddenly realized what she was wearing and turned into her room and pulled the door to cover her and be her shield.

"No, please," he chuckled. "I don't mind it."

She rolled her eyes and flipped him off before slamming the door. She knew he knew she was playing around because his laugh was echoing in her ears. She felt excited and yet calm at the same time. She quickly moved to pull some shorts and a shirt over her body and pull her hair back in a wet, sloppy ponytail. A second without him was a second much wasted. She was back in her little den area in minutes and went to go sit down where he was patting the cushion of the couch beside him. She perched herself down on the edge and peaked into the bag, pulling out her burger.

"Where are my fries?"

He popped a fry in his mouth and pointed to the heap of them on the paper plate. "I thought we could share."

"We're gonna need a lot more ketchup than that."

He smiled and dug down into the bag and pulled out a handful of small packets and put them on the table. "There."

"Thanks. Thanks for the getting the food, too."

She watched him take his grilled chicken sandwich out of the little box it was in. He held it in his hands and looked at her, "You can thank Bill next time you see him. He went home for the day though." He then took a huge bite out of his sandwich.

"Oh, okay." She unwrapped her McDouble and carefully pulled off the pickles, turning up her nose a little as she did so. He immediately picked them up from the spread out wrapper and sucked them off his fingers. She didn't understand why such a stupid little movement so amazingly sexy to her.

"So you wanna tell me what you're thinking? Cause Richard came down pretty hard on you back there."

She groaned and set down her burger as she chewed. "Can we not talk about that? I'd like to enjoy the last few minutes I have with you, if that's okay."

"Last few minutes?" His eyebrows rose.

She shook her head and sighed. "You know I'm going to be fired, Tom."

"No, you're not. He came down hard on you, yes, but he's not gonna fire you. You need to buck up some," he nudged her with his elbow and took a slurp from the straw sticking out of his cup.

She couldn't believe what he was saying. She should 'buck up?' What did that mean? "What?"

"You give in so easily. Get a back bone, stand up to him, stop saying you're sorry," he smiled at her, then took the last bit of his sandwich and threw it into his mouth.

"But I am-" she shook her head. "I mean, was."

"Well, they aren't firing you because-" he took another sip and then relaxed back against the couch, looking at her. "Julian informed me that he and Celeste were going to burst up on our sex fest in a half hour to get you ready for the next scene."

She choked on a fry and stared at him. Slowly her brain started to work again. He was looking quite inviting laying there with his arm across the back of the couch, smiling at her. "Sex fest?"

"His words, not mine." He lifted up his hands in defense and winked at her. "Just my fantasy."

She pouted at him in a flirty manner and turned back to the French fries, making a small puddle of ketchup on the paper plate with the packets. She was a ketchup fiend. "You're bad."

She felt his hand rubbing her back, then felt him squeeze her to his side a bit, whispering, "You like it."

He was calming her and even though his flirting made her excited and on edge, it wasn't bad. It was pleasant, welcomed, and now that she had convinced herself that her job was about to be taken away from her, she didn't see the harm in indulging in him. She laughed and dipped a fry into her ketchup pile. "I'm having such a shit day. I think having you around is the only thing positive about it."

"Really?" he asked surprised, "Me?"

"Yeah, I mean the crew probably thinks I'm so stupid, Richard hates me, my sister probably won't ever speak to me again."

"What happened with your sister?" he leaned forward and took a few fries, then relaxed back against the couch

"I forgot her birthday and well, I forgot it last year, too. She turns sixteen. I'm such a moron."

"Oh, I'm sure she'll forgive you. That's what family does," he shrugged and smiled.

"I don't know. I don't think there's anything I can do to make it up to her." It was hopeless. Her sister wasn't a very materialistic person. She didn't care about gifts or money. She cared about her family though and was a good kid. Kyrah knew she deserved a sister that was there to talk to her when she needed her. She had been less than suitable.

The only thing she knew that she had ever gotten her sister that truly meant something was when she waited out in the rain with her at Ticketmaster for three hours to get tickets for her and her friends to go to a Tokio Hotel concert a few years ago. Her sister was so happy when they got home with floor tickets and she was able to call up her friends and tell her that they were able to go see the boys. She was supposed to go with her sister to the concert but got the flu and their dad ended up being the chaperone in perfect 'I'm the dad of a thirteen year old girl' fashion.

She slowly turned to Tom. Maybe there was something she could do.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" he asked with an uneasy laugh. She just continued to stare and wonder if he would do what she'd ask him. It would be silly and kind of stupid but it would make her sister happy, even if her sister had moved more to a different genre of music. Her sister was a huge fan of Tom's and when Kyrah had told Sydney about her movie and who would be in it. Her sister was more excited that she was working with Tom, than the fact that her sister was moving to LA, or that her dream had come true and she was going to actually being in a movie.

Kyrah didn't answer him but instead leaned forward to get her cell phone off the charger. She held it in her hands and passed it to him. "Would you call her?" she asked.

"Who?" he paused for a moment. "Your sister?"

She looked away for a moment almost embarrassed or ashamed to ask him this. She knew it was over stepping her boundaries and she didn't want to force him to do something he didn't want to. "She's a big fan." she finally said. "It's the only thing that I think could make her happy."

The phone was snatched from her hand and she turned to see that he was smiling. "Sure, she just turned sixteen?"

"Yeah, here," she dialed the number for him and watched as he carefully pulled it up to the side of his face. "Her name is Sydney." He winked at her and she knew right then and there that she was in trouble. He wasn't just her hot co-star or a crush. He was lethal and she had been too blind to realize that he had already infected her.

"Hi, is Sydney there?" He paused. "Thanks," he pulled the phone away from his mouth and said, "I think that was your mom. She sounds nice."

"Well, she is." Kyrah giggled and chewed on a fry as he waited.

She watched his face pick up and say, "Hey, Sydney? Yeah, this is Tom." He paused and chuckled, "Tom Kaulitz." Another pause. "No, this isn't a joke." He looked slightly offended. "Why are you laughing? I'm serious! I'm using you sister's cell phone! Here talk to her."

He handed her the phone and rolled his eyes a little bit. Kyrah smiled and brought the phone to her ear, "Hey, Sydney."

Her sister didn't say anything for a moment and then finally, breathed out, "Oh my god."

"It's really him, Sydney. I'm sorry about earlier."

"Oh my god."

Kyrah laughed. Her sister was freaking out and she knew immediately that she was off the hook and forgiven. "Here, talk to him and stop saying that."

She handed the phone back over to Tom and giggled, listening in on his half of the conversation. "Hey, so I heard you just turned sixteen. Sydney?" He checked the phone to see if she had disconnected. "Hi, yes, it's okay. So you get your license and all?" He nodded at whatever Sydney was saying. "For real? Awesome. You'll have to come out here and visit your sister and you can drive us all around" He frowned slightly. "No, it's easy." He grinned broadly. "Yeah, I'd love to hang out. Your sister is awesome so that means you probably are too." He blushed slightly. "Yeah, I like her a lot." Kyrah bit her lip when his eyes darted to her and he stared at her. He didn't stop. "I hope you have an insanely happy birthday and don't go to crazy with driving and all. Come up some time soon, okay?" He nodded again. "Sweet. I know your sister is really busy and all right now, Sydney, but she really loves you." He licked his lips quickly. "That's awesome. Hope to see you soon."

He ended the call and placed it beside their half eaten fries. She heard him sigh and say, "She's happy and she loves you back." He licked his lips again, nodded in a cocky manner and said, "I'm so awesome at peace keeping."

"You're awesome at a lot of things."

"Like what?"

She laughed. It seemed so weird to her to hear a man like him fish for compliments. Didn't he know? "Oh, I don't know. Singing, guitar, acting, being hot, getting chicks-"

"Getting chicks?" he chuckled.

Her light blue eyes glanced at him and she pat his shoulder. "Oh, let's go down your past, shall we? Chantelle? Natalie?"

"Natalie never happened."

"Really?"

He shrugged, "We're like, I wouldn't call us brother and sister but like cousins, you know? We're close and shit but not that close."

"Okay, then there was the girl from ‘Germany's Next Top Model'?"

"Ann-Kathrin?" he eyed her and started to smile. "You've been watching your TV and reading your magazines."

"My sister really does love you," she shook her head. He really had made her sister's day. "And there's Ria."

"Let's not go there, please," he groaned.

"Right, but like I said, you're good with chicks."

"What about you?"

"What do you mean?"

His smile was slick. "I haven't gotten you yet."

"Yet is the key word," she winked at him in a purely flirty manner. The more time she spent with him the more she convinced herself that she needed to pursue whatever it was that was happening between them. He was just too good, and so what if he was a little out of her league. It wasn't every day a man like him had feelings for her.

"I don't know. I think you're a little out of my league."

She almost spit out her sip of drink and scooted to the side so she could turn on the couch and look him full in the face. "Me?!"

"Yeah, you're-" he cleared his throat. "You're a classy gal, Kyrah. Most of the girls I date are just goof balls who are fun. You have a lot more going on. Up here," he tapped his head, then brought his hand down and tapped the center of his chest. "And here."

"What do you mean?"

He shrugged and mumbled, "I don't know." For a moment, she thought that was all she was going to get from him, but he turned on the couch and rested his elbow on the back of it to put his head in his hand. "I'm just trying to figure out why it's been two years since you've been with a guy."

"Whoa, way to turn the conversation around," she said nervously, not wanting to go down that road.

"It's a gift. So why is that?" He didn't miss a beat and only sat there, staring at her, waiting for an answer.

"Why I haven't dated?" she asked slowly. "I guess, I just don't like a lot of guys. Guys are evil. So are girls, but evil in a different way."

"So who was he?"

She gulped. She really didn't want to go down this road. "Huh?"

"You got fucked over, didn't you?"

She blinked and he didn't. A moment passed and she looked down at her lap and mumbled, "I guess you could say that."

"What happened?"

She rolled her eyes at herself. It was a sad, stupid little tale and she couldn't believe she was going to tell him her sob story but she did. "I guess it's kind of pathetic. I mean, I guess you could say I'm still getting over my first love and all. Like, we broke up his freshman year when I moved up to New York but he'd come back and come back but only-"

"For sex?"

She took a deep breath looking at him. He was still staring at her, listening to her intently, understanding more than she ever thought possible. Soon she found it flowing out of her easily. She found herself glad to tell him about Mike, about her inability to get over the past, about her fear of falling again. "Yeah, pretty much. And he'd always say that he had changed and that he wanted me back and every time I would buy it because I was still in love with him. He knew how lonely I was in New York and would talk to me about it and try to make me feel good about myself and my situation. He'd promise to call and never would. I'd go home for Christmas and stuff and hook up with my old friends from high school and he'd be there and just ignore me. So I just stopped going out of the house when I went home."

"Damn."

She didn't mind that he was now scooting a little closer on the couch. In fact, she was hoping he would touch her or hold her or something. She wanted to feel like she did when she was in his arms earlier, when she had to force herself from giving into him. She was tried of forcing herself to do things she didn't want to do, like bathroom cleaner commercials, and blind dates, and a life of loneliness. "Yeah, then like, I finally get this phone call from him and he's just apologizing for being an ass and treating me like he did and he told me he wanted to see me again and stuff. He said he'd call the next day and we could talk about when to meet up because see, he went to Boston College so he was kind of close. At least, he was close enough to come up for a weekend or something."

"Did he call?"

"Nope, and I knew better than to try and call him back. I got a call from my mom though, about three or four months later, wondering if I knew that Mike was getting married."

"Shit," he said and closed his eyes.

"Yeah."

He opened his eyes again and nodded. "So let me guess, every time he'd fight with his girl he'd make a trip to New York to see you, just to spite her and to get some ass."

"Pretty much. I don't- I don't want to feel that way again. I don't want to feel that type of rejection and that type of loneliness. I've moved on from him and gotten over him but not what he did to me and how he made me feel. I don't want to feel that ever again and so I don't risk it. I don't date."

"Guys aren't evil, Kyrah," he sighed. "They're just really, really, really stupid. Sometimes we can't see outside of ourselves, and it's not that we're selfish, it's just that we're blind. We really are blind."

She laughed and figured they had opened up enough in the past few hours that she could tell him what she wanted to tell him since she saw him first thing in the morning. "So to say that I'm nervous about kissing you, well, that's a little bit of an understatement. I hope it's not the worst thing you've ever experienced. I haven't done it in so long."

He smiled in a boyish manner and poked her in her shoulder. "You almost kissed me earlier."

"I know," she closed her eyes when she felt his fingers move to tuck a piece of her still hair that had fallen from her damp ponytail back from her face and behind her ear. He was so gentle and sweet and she forced herself to pull back a little bit and stare at him dead on. "You're a dangerous man."

He half smiled. "And you're a very tempting, beautiful woman."

"Shut up," she pushed at him but wasn't able to contain her smile.

"You shouldn't be scared, Kyrah. Some of us guys are still idiots but at least we can see. I'm not blind to what's sitting beside me right now. I'm not blind to see how great you are, how much you're worth. Which is so much more than whatever that asshole gave you."

She narrowed her eyes. "Like I said, dangerous."

"What's wrong with me?" he laughed and asked in a way that exuded innocence but proved his guilt. "Why am I dangerous?"

She sighed and stood up to pick up all their trash. She wanted to live in the fantasy that they would be good together and live happily ever after. He'd cure her of all her fears and she'd give him some spark in his life that he was so desperately searching for, but that was all a fantasy and she knew the truth and she knew the ending. She stuffed their trash into the McDonald's bag and moved to go to her kitchen so she could throw it away. "Because I can see the way this will end. I hate admitting to it but in relationships, I'm a high maintenance girl. I need attention. I need to know that I trust you. I have to see it and I know this life style out here in California is not one that really caters to girls like me."

"You don't know me," he said to her and she turned from where she was safe, in the kitchen, several feet from him. She caught his eyes. He was still dangerous and she realized she was far from safety. "You don't know how much attention I give. It's what I think pushes a lot of women away. They think I go overboard. I push too much, I ask too much, I want too much emotionally. You don't know how I'm like, Kyrah."

"You're right," she nodded, happy that he had unknowingly given her some excuse to why they wouldn't work. "I don't know you." She knew she was an idiot for pushing him away and doubting any possibility they had, but she couldn't get her hopes up. She just couldn't. She wouldn't be crushed again, no matter what he said or promised or did.

"Don't play that card," he said harshly, standing up from the couch. "You know enough. You know enough to want to know more." He walked towards her and she backed up against the refrigerator. This was it. He was going to get her good this time. She wouldn't be able to say no. She would fall and things would change. She hated change. "I feel the same way. I wanna know you, like really know you and get inside of you-"

She tried to stop it, tried anything to stop it. "Oh my god, was that a pick up line?" she forced laughter.

He didn't flinch. "You know what I mean, Kyrah."

He was close now. "Do I?" she sucked in a breath when he was a foot from her. He was grinning. He knew what he was doing to her. It wasn't fair. She couldn't fight back. He had the upper hand and it wasn't fair. She didn't know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. She was conflicted. She wanted to be with him, she wanted him to kiss her, but she knew that was the last thing she needed in her life. She had a whole new thing going for her and getting involved with a co-star, a celebrity, or even a regular old guy that worked at a coffee shop or a gas station was something she couldn't afford to deal with.

The more he stood there, looking at her, the more she couldn't help but wonder. What if she was wrong? What if what she needed this whole time was someone to love her, someone to hold her and care for her? What if all she really needed was a good lay, or a least a good kiss?

"Kyrah, I want to kiss you."

She gulped.

His voice was low and he ran his finger down her arm to her hand and held it saying, "I want to kiss you really, really badly, and not in front of cameras and people. I want to do it right here. I don't want you to push me away or back out or break it off and tell me we shouldn't. I just want to kiss you." She opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out. "If you don't want to, walk away from me. Just walk away."

"I can't," she croaked and was immediately sure he would laugh at her for sounding like a frog.

He didn't. Instead he kind of smiled and stepped closer, cupping her cheek with his hand. "Can't kiss me? Or can't walk away from me?"

"Please don't make me do this," she whispered harshly, "I want to but I can't, Tom. I just-"

"I'm not that guy, Kyrah," he pleaded. "I'm not gonna break your heart or use you for your body and make you hate yourself and lose faith in any possibility of finding someone. I'm not that guy, I won't do that. I just want to kiss you. That's all."

"But-"

He cut her off. "It's just a kiss, Kyrah. We're gonna have to do it out there."

He was pressuring her and she was tired to if. She couldn't have him pressure her. It was supposed to happen naturally. It was supposed to just pop up and happen without cause or reason, just like her feelings for him had just sprung up on her. There was no logic behind it and yet here she was, falling for him. She wouldn't have him pressuring her like she was in middle school. "Stop it! Okay?" she pushed at him and went to pace in the kitchen. He just stood there, looking at her like he had just lost the championship game in little league. "It's not just a kiss. It's not! It'll start out that way, then I'll give into you, fall for you, and you'll tell me you feel the same but it won't be true. I just- I can't do this, okay? It's hard enough when I already have feelings-"

She sucked in a breath, terrified of what she almost said, of what she almost admitted to him. His forehead furrowed for a moment, then relaxed and he looked at her dead on, about to walk determinedly over to her and kiss her. She knew it. She knew it. She had given up too much information. She didn't have to finish her little speech because he already knew. He was dangerous and she just got marked as a target that he was about to start firing on.

She was in trouble.

A banging on the door sounded. She sighed in relief at Julian's voice and watched as Tom rolled his eyes and his shoulders slumped in annoyance. "Sex fest must finish or I'm going to break out the video camera and sell it on Ebay!"

Tom ran his hands over his face and just looked at her. She didn't know what else to say to him. She didn't know what had just happened between them. Had something changed? We're they now just as confused as ever? He started to walk towards her and she amazingly wasn't frightened. He was going to kiss her. He didn't care that Julian was at the door or what she had just said in her little speech. She had tried to convince herself that he was going to hurt her, or that he was dangerous. He was but he wasn't dangerous in the sense that pouring lighter fluid on a flame was dangerous. He was the type of dangerous that was involved with bungee jumping, or sky diving, or falling for someone.

She licked her lips. Maybe she needed him to kiss her.

He got closer and closer and then she realized, he wasn't going toward her. He looked upset, not angry or sad, but upset about something and walked straight to the door, opened it, then turned back to her. Julian was there looking as curious as ever, and had somehow gotten a hold of a boa and was wearing it fabulously. Tom was looking back at her. His eyes held a strange mix of defeat and determination.

"See you on set," he said and she couldn't figure out what his tone meant.

Julian moved to the side to let him pass and he disappeared from her view. She stared after him blankly. Something was about to happen between them. He didn't want to kiss her in front of cameras and people. He didn't want them to have their feelings displayed like that, but now the moment was minutes away and she wasn't so sure what was going to happen when Richard called action.

2 PM

Tom sat in the folding chair completely motionless. He blinked but his brown eyes continued to stare straight ahead at the base of one of the large cameras that was in front of the set. It wasn't anger or disappointment that had taken over in her trailer. It was frustration. He was tired and frustrated by this little game they were playing. He knew things were going fast and strong but she was refusing to let go. It was giving him a massive headache. Kyrah flirted subconsciously and smiled at him in a way that proved how she felt about him but she wouldn't loosen her grip. She was holding on tightly to the railing of security and wouldn't let herself fall down to him. He understood why but it was maddening.

Now he was going to have to somehow convince her that they could work as a couple, that everything would be okay but while they were working and while there were a dozen people around them. This was the worst. Kissing scenes always got his stomach in a knot, mainly because he was nervous what his girlfriend would think but now there was no girlfriend and his stomach was still turning inside out.

He wanted to discuss this with Richard and let him know what was going on but he was starting to have some of her fear rub off on him. He was terrified of what the director would think about his two stars falling in love. Is that what this is? Am I falling in love?" He didn't want to believe it. "It's a crush. I like her. She's gorgeous. She's peaceful and sweet and perfect but love? It's too soon for that, right? I care about her. I'm attracted to her. I'm just attracted to her," he had to keep telling himself that was it. He repeated that last line over and over but he was a stubborn listener.

The set was one he had worked on the week prior. It was his character's apartment but this time the lighting was dim, as if it were nighttime, and only one lamp was on. He couldn't believe that this scene was going to be the decision for them. It was going to be their kiss, their first kiss. It was supposed to be the main scene of the movie. It was the scene where they'd finally give into each other and let nothing hold them back. This was the scene that was going to make all the women cry, at least that's what Richard had told him.

It was funny how he didn't even look at his script after fussing over it earlier. She got into trouble by helping him. This was so much bigger than some scene now. This was about them, about him proving to her that it would be okay if they acted on their feelings, even if it was in front of a camera.

"Tom?" He shifted his position on the chair from his slouch to where he was sitting more upright as Richard approached him. He didn't want to get pointers on how he was supposed to act in this scene. He was pretty sure he was going to give himself into instincts and just kiss the hell out of her, directions be damned.

"Hey, Richard. What's up?" He tried to play it cool and did a fairly good job.

Richard plopped into the seat beside him, the seat that was supposed to be Kyrah's. Of course she wasn't out on set yet. "Hello, Tom. You ready for this?"

"Yeah, I think I've been ready for a while," he sighed and scratched his head. "Am I ready to kiss her? Hell yes!"

"Well, you know," Richard leaned forward a bit. "Make sure that it's slow and sweet. Seduce her like you really would seduce someone. In fact, it might even be better to forget that you are acting and just really try to kiss her. She's a pretty girl so it won't be hard to do."

Tom almost wanted to laugh. He wondered if he could ask Richard if they could just go somewhere private and do the scene, no cameras. "Yeah."

"I want it to be passionate. This is the money maker but don't overdo it. Remember, she's soaking wet, you two are both lonely as a desert and are searching for each other. When you kiss her, I want us all to feel it. I need there to be something there, something that just-"

"Sparks." Tom sighed and stared on stage as a few people stood in the area that he and Kyrah would be, perfecting the camera angles and lighting.

"Exactly!" Richard exclaimed. "I don't even know why I'm talking this over with you. You know what you're doing. It's the other one I'm worried about."

"Hey!" Tom felt offended by that comment. "That's my girlfriend- Well, not girlfriend but possible girlfriend!" He wasn't going to allow anyone to bad mouth her, even if it was his boss. "She's just paranoid and frightened about being out here."

"That's what worries me," Richard said in voice that was genuinely concerned. It suddenly dawned on Tom that what Richard had been throwing at her wasn't meant to be rude or mean or angry. He was simply frustrated with her, much like Tom was. He was concerned and could see her going down a path she wanted to go but without any armor. "She's so uptight. She's almost too much like the character. Maybe I should just film her instead of trying to get her to act."

"She's good though," Tom said.

Richard laughed under his breath just a bit. "She's fucking incredible but I'm scared she's gonna let herself get eaten up. I'm going to go check on the lighting crew." He pat Tom's shoulder and went off toward the set, listening in on a conversation before putting in his ideas.

Tom watched him and after some restless staring, Celeste came over and smiled at him. She sat a bag on a table and shrugged off her raincoat, throwing it out of the way and on the concrete floor. She then opened up a little compact and came towards him with it.

"Look up," she said simply. He did what she asked while she gently pat his face with a round puff.

"How is she?" he couldn't help himself.

"Who?"

He rolled his eyes as she smirked. "Funny, Celeste."

"She's fine. Wet," she chuckled and then shrugged. "Annoyed with me and Julian, I think. Copped an attitude with us. You're doing a damn good job of leaving that girl hanging." She finished by narrowing her eyes at him.

He dropped his jaw a bit. He was beginning to feel they were blaming him for her insecurities. "It's not my-"

"Oh, please," Celeste pulled back and made a pretty dramatic expression before looking at him dead on. "If you wanted to kiss her so badly, you would have planted one on her long ago, despite what she said or how much she protested. You would have grabbed her and smacked her one. Admit it."

Tom was quiet for a moment as Celeste continued to put something on his cheeks and forehead. He had never thought of that. He was always a very aggressive person when it came to what he wanted in life but relationships were different. He couldn't force anyone to go against their will. He thought maybe what he wanted was her to admit it back to him, for her to approach him. He wanted her to give in. He wanted her to kiss him.

He looked up at Celeste and asked, "Are you saying that's what she's wanted me to do all this time?"

"Are you that blind?" she smiled.

"She keeps telling me that we can't and we shouldn't and all this other shit!" he exclaimed in his defense.

"Quiet your voice," she scolded. "You need to be calm for this scene."

"I am calm," he was annoyed with her and sat up in his chair as she fiddled around in the bag she had on the small table beside them. "But I'm determined too. Are you done?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes."

With that he pushed himself off his chair and walked off to the side and away from the set. He needed to clear his mind and get away from everyone. He needed to pace. He got in a few short laps, staring at his feet, thinking about how he should approach her or if he should approach her. He didn't know what to say to her on set and was trying to think of something good, something that wasn't forceful but something that would win her over. He stopped, closed his eyes and stood there defeated. He was turning into a manipulator.

He opened his eyes.

She was staring back.

There were several feet in between them. She wasn't making a move to come near him but she was staring. He felt breathless looking at her. Her eyes were insanely beautiful and were working their way deep inside of him. Finally, she turned away and looked down at her hands as she stood in front of her chair and listened to what Richard was telling her. He felt drawn to her, unable to stop himself. Before he knew it, he walked over to her where she was standing. She stood there quietly with her hair damp and hanging against her shoulders, wetting the dry white men's T-shirt she was wearing.

He got close, close enough to where he could hear Richard telling her the same thing he told him earlier. He wanted to reach out and touch her but forced himself to be still and just admire her profile. Richard went on to talk about the background scene, which was a scene where Gabrielle got a flat tire after leaving a party. Tom's character left soon after and finds her stranded on the side of the road in an unusual Los Angeles rain storm and takes her back to his place to dry off. He gives her dry clothes. They talk. They kiss. They have sex.

"Hey!" Richard said as he saw Tom approaching but Tom kept his eyes on Kyrah. She turned and looked at him. "You guys ready for this?"

He was stunned for a moment and had to jolt his brain back to working order, tell himself to breathe, blink and finally to respond. "Oh, yeah," Tom said in an arrogant manner and looked away from her, strolling casually onto the set. He wanted her to know how much he was looking forward to this but he also didn't want Richard to catch on.

One of the assistant directors pointed to where she wanted them to sit and he plopped down on the floor, resting his back against the couch that was there. He looked up to Kyrah and she was standing there, biting her lip, trying not to get caught glancing at him but she was caught. He grinned up at her, patting the space beside him. He watched her take in a deep breath, then carefully move herself into sitting position beside him, her knees up by her chest.

"We're gonna do a run through of the scene real quick but I'm gonna roll cameras on this one, okay?" Richard said.

"So this really is a take?" Tom asked.

"Yes but a practice one," Richard smiled, then turned on his heels and called out, "Clear set!"

Tom licked his lips, as he went over the lines in his head but really wondering how she would taste. He wondered if she had brushed her teeth. He had but he wouldn't mind a McDonald's tasting girl.

Suddenly he heard a whisper, "I won't use tongue if you won't."

He could help the smile on his face and turned to look at her dead on. "What if I want to?"

He could see her gulp but didn't have a chance to do anything about it or provoke another response because someone called out, "Action!"

A moment passed, then another.

"I think you saved me from drowning," she said with a slight laugh.

"Yes, she's different now. She's being professional, acting, becoming Gabrielle." He stretched his arms across the seat of the couch and shook his head. "This is rain like back home. So strange for here." He looked at her as Tom, not Victor, and she looked away bashfully, afraid to look at him just like her character was. Just like she was. He chuckled after a moment and said, "It's so weird. I never thought it'd be the same."

"What would be the same?" she asked with a deer in headlights type of look.

"California," he sighed. "It's just as lonely as New York and it just eats me alive."

She smiled sympathetically and lowered her legs to stretch them out in front of her. Her guard was being lowered. "Yeah and it's worse here because you don't expect it. You think the sun and the beach and the laid back attitude would just soak you up and you'd be part of the crowd."

"But you're not part of the crowd." He moved so his hands were running over his head, trying to show how uncomfortable and frustrated he was. It was amazing how the emotions he needed to portray on camera were the exact ones he actually felt. It was getting hot under the dim lights and he just realized that there were people watching them, silent, waiting for them to kiss, to mess up, to finish the scene. They weren't in a trailer or in his house or in a car or a dark corner of a club or on a secluded beach. They were in public, being filmed and there was no way she would be able to push him away. "I can't keep doing this, Gabby. I can't keep putting all my faith into every chance, then not receiving anything in return. I can't keep living out here, wasting my money on auditions and clubs and living a life that I don't even know if I really like all that much."

"What else would you do?"

"I don't know," he laughed sadly and shrugged. "Go back home."

"Home?"

He looked at her and her eyes melted into his. "Home, Gabby."

"But-"

"But nothing," he shook his head and turned to her. "I can't- I can't do this anymore. I have to go back."

"But you can't."

"Why?" he asked her.

She bit her lip and got a nervous look in her face. "Be- B-because."

"She's good, perfect. She knows exactly how to act. Richard's probably thankful he's taping this." He smiled weakly. "Gabrielle-"

Her voice broke through louder, desperate to tell him the truth and not being able to hold it anymore. "'Because then I'll really be alone. What will I do?" He watched as her eyes watered. It wasn't in the script and would be a nice touch. The only problem was he was sure those tears weren't the marks of a gifted actress but of a destroyed woman who was tired of being alone. It was suddenly disgusting this was on film. He didn't care about being forceful anymore. He wanted to protect her and hide her and hold her and let her know that it would be okay. He wouldn't leave her, he couldn't. "I mean-" she sniffed and looked up in his eyes, wanting, waiting. "I'm here. It's not so bad with me here, right?"

"This is it. It's about to happen." He shushed her from getting too excited and leaned closer, touching her face. He lowered his eyelids and gazed at her. She was trembling and he knew she was nervous. It had been so long for her and she was terrified. He thought it was childish of her. He thought she should have grown up and gotten over it and moved on to him but sitting there, watching her try her best not to cry, not to let it all break down, he almost felt himself on the verge of tears.

He stroked her cheek with the back of his knuckles and moved them down to the side of her mouth but she broke it, making him snap his hand back a little bit as she sucked in a breath and whispered, "Are you going to seduce me now?"

He was supposed to smile. He was supposed to give a cocky little half grin and be so sexy that every woman in America would orgasm at this scene but he didn't. Instead her shook his head and brushed his thumb over her bottom lip. "I think you've already taken care of that."

"What do you mean?" she whispered.

He forgot the world. He forgot Richard, the cameras, the set, the crew, the studio, the world. He could only see her. He felt her, creeping deep inside of him. He felt himself falling in love with her. He felt like a match out of the box, in between two fingers but not yet lit. Or a candle, one that had already been burned down a bit, a hump of wax with a blackened wick in the center, begging, thirsty to be lit again.

He licked his lips and pressed his forehead against hers, cupping her cheek. He was looking at her through lowered eyelids and she was staring at his mouth. She darted her eyes up to his. "Don't be nervous," he whispered to her and to himself because he felt more on edge than he had ever been in his life yet he was calm, collected and very, very sure of himself. It was time and he couldn't hold back anymore. He tilted his head, completely closed his eyes, and lowered his mouth.

The match was struck, the candle was lit and he felt sparks.

He didn't push her but only pressed his lips against hers, parted and blissfully soft. A moment passed and he pulled away ever so slightly, just enough to let out a gentle breath. He brushed his thumb across her cheek and felt a streak of dampness coming down from the corner of her eye. He thought about pulling away and holding her. He didn't want to push her anymore or force her to do something she didn't want to.

It was too much for her and she was breaking down but before he got the chance to pull away any more, he felt her lift her head again and felt her lips against his. She kissed him purposefully this time, pulling away to take a breath again, then going back in. This time she opened her mouth and kissed him full on, no guards, no barrier, no cameras, no world, no rules, just kissing him. It felt indescribable.

He moved one hand down to her neck. The other moved to the back of her head and tangled in the wet strands. He moved his tongue against hers and sighed from the pleasure. She didn't taste like toothpaste or McDonald's but something completely different that was only Kyrah. Her lips were soft, heavenly and he seriously thought that kissing her was probably the best thing he had ever done. She was incredible. She was heaven defined.

He pulled away and pressed his forehead against hers, smiling, out of breath and enthralled. They had kissed. They had really done it. He realized there was no going back now. Everything had changed, everything was perfect. He was pretty sure he was in the process of falling in love with her.

"Cut!"

His eyes popped open and so did hers. They had both completely forgotten everything and everyone in that room. She licked her lips and he was terrified. She was going to cry or break down or run away. He could feel it. This was bad. He should have talked to Richard or kissed her before or something. It wasn't fair to her. Her first kiss since that asshole crushed her and Tom did it to her in a crowd with "acting" as a cover up.

He shook his head and tried to think of something to say to her but couldn't find the words. He didn't have to. He heard a giggle and immediately looked at her. She was sitting there, biting on her thumb and smiling at him shyly. She looked away with a grin and pulled her knees so she could hold them.

"That was fucking fabulous!" He looked up to see Richard standing in front of them, looking down at them in shock. He turned to Kyrah, "Kyrah, that tear! I could kiss you myself! That was genius. Can you two do it again? I wanna get a little more lighting on your faces but god! Oh my god, I could cry." He walked away rambling about something, then yelled at the lighting guys to get to work. They just sat there, silent and all smiles. He didn't know what to say to her and hoped she didn't mind his silence. He didn't want to stare at her too much but after awhile he couldn't help himself and glanced at her.

She smirked and looked at him, "That wasn't too bad."

He laughed loudly. "No, not at all." He nudged her playfully.

They sat there laughing at each other and giving each other shy glances. He didn't know why he was acting this way but he was giddy and thrilled that he was going to get to kiss her again. Cameras and people be damned, he didn't care any more.

"Are you two ready?" Richard called from behind the cameras. It was hard to see now that lights were being shone directly at them. They weren't bright but did make everything shadowy that was behind them.

"Oh ,yeah!" Kyrah called out and he laughed at how free she seemed now. She was happy, smiling, and it was all because he kissed her. It was all because as soon as their lips touched the world was changed and he was sure neither of them would ever be the same.

3 PM

The room was quiet. Normally, she would be freaked out by the lack of noise in a small room occupied by only three people but not then. There were no sounds except for the random sound of someone shifting weight or the sound of plastic makeup containers clinking together. Kyrah couldn't even hear the silence. She didn't even register it was there. She was numb, lost and completely gone.

She bit her lip as she stared at her reflection. Julian was working on her hair and Celeste was putting on Kyrah's makeup, occasionally getting in the way of her reflection. They were getting her read for the love scene. She blinked slowly. It still hadn't sunk in. It hadn't hit her yet and she was a little curious as to what would happen when it did finally collide with her. "What will happen then?"

Seven takes. Seven perfectly sweet takes. Seven times with him there, kissing her. The first was the best take. In the second, they ended up giggling at each other. The third was too reserved and the forth Tom cleared his throat in the middle of the take. The fifth was divinely sweet and slow. The sixth was hot and passionate. The seventh was more like the first and was the only other one she was able to squeeze out a tear for. She was too happy, just too damned happy to cry.

He kissed her. Even though she knew there were people all around and that it was their job to kiss, something was there. When her lips touched his that first moment there were sparks or something. She didn't know what it was but it was there and it wasn't going to fade away. Instead, it was building, burning inside of her and nothing was going to be able to put it out. Her throat worked at a large gulp and Celeste once again got in her way.

The breaking of the eye-contact with herself propelled her out of her dazed state and she relaxed back into the seat and groaned. He had kissed her seven times and each time was so absolutely amazing. She forgot what it was like to be kissed and couldn't remember ever receiving kisses like that in her life. They were promising kisses, sexual and tempting. They were sweet and soothing and felt so good.

"Oh my god," she whispered to herself. Both the people that were working on her stopped, stared at her and started to smile. She looked at Julian who started to make kissing faces to her. She glanced at Celeste who was smiling and shaking her head. "I think I'm in love with him."

"Oh Lord!" Julian said, putting down his brush and walking away toward her door. "It couldn't have been that good."

Celeste scoffed. "You apparently didn't watch."

"You were there?" Kyrah lazily turned her head to Celeste. She began to apply some eye makeup.

"A lot of people sneaked through the side door and hid over in little shadowy part." Kyrah opened her eyes in time to see Celeste smile, then shrug. Kyrah closed her eyes again, feeling something heavy and creamy applied to her eyelids. "Richard was oblivious, as per the usual, and you two-" she chuckled. "Well, you two weren't paying any attention to anything except each other."

"Can you blame me?" Kyrah asked seriously, peering up at her friend. They heard the sound of a door open and Kyrah whipped her head around, hoping and praying that just maybe he'd be there to see her but he wasn't. It was only Julian opening the door to leave. "Where are you going?"

"Yeah, not gonna stick around for gossip and details on Mr. Kaulitz's luscious lips?" Celeste laughed and Kyrah turned to stick her tongue out at her.

"I'm going to find out how they are myself! You're not the only diva with hair to groom."

Kyrah laughed happily. "He hardly has any hair to style. It's all braided."

"Shush. Doesn't mean I can't go over there and see what he's saying about you," Julian promptly shut the door behind him.

Kyrah turned to sink into her chair. She felt like she had melted. She was warm and her body felt light, easy and relaxed. The feeling that had taken over her was a feeling she had been missing for a long time. The last time she had really felt that way was in high school, when she and Mike started dating. Nothing could stop her, everything in the world was made right and she had no fears.

"So-" she turned her eyes up at the sound of Celeste's voice. She was making a point in avoiding eye contact, busying herself with her makeup bag. Celeste cleared her throat. "You know what you're doing?"

"Huh?"

"Look," Celeste sighed and leaned against the counter in front of Kyrah. "I don't wanna bring you down or make you upset or anything. I adore you and I like Tom but you haven't been here long. It's very common in this town for guys to break up with their girlfriends and fall in love with someone else, then a week later be back at it with their girlfriend. I'm not saying that's gonna happen with you and him- Just be careful. I've been there before and it's not fun. He and Ria dated for two years. You don't just cut something like that off from your life. I mean, I think they were living together."

That really horrible feeling started to creep into Kyrah's gut. It was the you get when someone kicks you out of the cloud you were sitting on, the feeling of falling, seeing the ground below and dreading the pain that will happen when you're smacked into it.  "We just kissed."

"Just a second ago you said you thought you were in love."

She was getting closer to the ground and she knew her hopes and every wonderful thought she had about she and Tom kissing was about to be taken away. Celeste was going to be her voice of reason; needed, important but not at all welcome. "Just shut up, Celeste."

"Kyrah!" Celeste blocked Kyrah from leaving her chair by planting her hands firmly on the armrests. She shook her head in a comforting manner. "Don't do that. I'm not trying to burst your bubble. I think you guys are awesome together. I mean you obviously have some chemistry and make each other happy. He's a giddy little boy now. He hasn't been that way lately. But-" she sighed and leaned back against the counter before crossing her arms and looking away. "I've been there, okay? I've fallen for a guy more than once who was just getting over a long-term relationship. I just ended up hurt and I don't want that to happen to you."

"I can handle myself," Kyrah said, trying to keep some shred of her confidence that was barely there to begin with.

"Don't take this the wrong way but you're really fragile."

Kyrah made her retreat and stood up from her seat. She gritted out at Celeste, trying to sound as menacing as possible. It came out quite humorous. "What the hell do you know about me?"

"Don't get defensive!" Celeste rolled her eyes.

Kyrah became furious. It was something she had rarely felt in her life. Normally anger never fazed her. She'd get upset or disappointed but anger was a foreign feeling. She was very, very mad in that moment. "How dare Celeste try to mother me on a relationship she knows nothing about? How dare Celeste try to act like she knows anything? It's disgusting!" she thought and she felt like spitting. She was worked up. Her breathing started to get heavy and she almost called her dearest friend in Los Angeles a bitch but Julian didn't give her the chance.

He burst through the door and hung in, holding onto the doorknob. "He's coming!" he squealed.

Anger and fury dissipated and a storm of surprise flooded her. "What?!"

Julian leaned back out to look outside, then came in and started to wildly talk with his hands. "I went over there and he wouldn't shut up about you so I told him to come over here and find out how you were doing himself," he paused and waved his hands about. "And he said, 'Okay, I'll be over in a few minutes.' So-" he paused again and screamed, stomping towards them. "Ah! Come on, Celeste! Let's let them fuck in privacy. Leave the camera rolling, though," he grabbed Celeste's hand and started to pull her from the trailer.

"Let go! I'll be there in a second." Celeste slapped his hand away.

"Harassment at the workplace! I'm telling!" Julian screamed and ran out of the trailer with a smile.

As soon as Kyrah and Celeste were left alone, the anger came back again but not as powerful. She narrowed her eyes. "I don't need a lecture, thank you."

Celeste came over to her and grabbed her upper arms, forcing Kyrah to look her in the eyes. "I'm sorry. Don't be mad at me, okay? Just breathe and take a minute before you hop on a flight to Vegas with the man."

The thought made her smile. Flying off to Vegas with him wouldn't be a bad idea. Being alone with him wouldn't be a bad idea and she was about to get that chance. Her heartbeat quickened, her eyes widened and she felt that she might faint. She wasn't ready. She was in love with him, ready to marry him and have his kids but now he was going to walk through the door. She almost pulled Celeste back, to have her stand between them so that Kyrah would have some shield but Celeste was gone before she had the chance to blink.

But she did blink, alone in her trailer, then there was a knock. She gulped. He had kissed her, really kissed her. It had been in front of cameras and people but it wasn't fake. It was real, so very real. She felt it, felt him and she wanted more but she was still uncertain and terrified and not quite sure. She didn't know what was going to happen but she was going to let him through the door.

"Come in," she said but her voice faltered and she had to repeat herself.

The door opened and she braced herself against the chair, holding onto the back of it. "Ky?" She smiled at the nickname and stared with a smile as he slid himself into the room. He smiled back at her before he shut the door behind him. He stepped forward, then stopped. "You're alone?"

"Yeah." Her smile came like his, slowly and mischievously. They both knew what that meant but for some reason she felt the need to explicate. "Celeste and Julian bolted when they found out you were coming over here."

"What?" he asked, stepping a little closer.

"Well, Julian forced Celeste out of the room so we could have sex, his words."

He nodded slowly. "Oh."

She sucked in a breath and gripped the chair. He was looking very good and the determination in his eyes was making her weak. He licked his lips and she couldn't help herself from staring. "Yeah."

"So I just kissed you back there."

To hide her smile, she bit her lip and looked up at him. He was smirking. He was close now, close enough to reach out to her, pull her to him and kiss her. If he wanted to. "Yeah you did," her voice was quiet and she let go of the chair and turned to him.

His hand brushed her elbow and he breathed her name, stepping closer. "Kyrah-"

The light touch was too much too soon for her. She wanted him but she needed to be eased into it. It wasn't hitting her that he was there with her, completely alone, and she had to check herself before she attacked him or did something equally as stupid. "Don't we have to be on set soon?" she asked as she skirted by him.

"No. They canceled it. We're doing the fight scene next, then the fun scene."

She gasped and looked at him with wide eyes. "Fun?"

He stepped toward her again, smirking in that arrogant way that only he could pull off. "The rolling around with each other in a bed and half naked scene."

"Tom-" she sighed his name when he took her hands in his.

"What?" He leaned down toward her.

She turned her head so that if he did kiss her, he wouldn't claim her mouth and wouldn't claim her. "We probably shouldn't do this."

"Who cares?"

"No," she tried to pull away but he pulled her back.

"Kyrah," he said with his hands firmly on her shoulders. He shook his head and smiled at her. "Who cares?" His grip eased on her and he ran his hands down her arms and back up again. He was holding onto her neck and cocking his head to the side. "I care about you and us but I don't care about any of them out there and what they think we should and shouldn't do."

She smiled and hope filled her. "Us?"

"Yeah, whatever the hell we are."

Her arms went around his middle and she rested her forehead on his chest. She sighed when he wrapped his arms around her and kept her flush against him. He was solid, something she hadn't had in a long time. He was warm and comforting and smelled delicious. It was perfect being there in his arms, just enjoying the feel of him being against her and around her. His hands started to run over her back and the small movement made every muscle in her body relax. She was so happy in that moment, not taking any warning from anyone, not caring what anyone thought.

Something had happened that day that she had not expected. She had woken up that morning with a headache and dread of what the day would bring. Then he sat beside her. Everything went wrong and it was all put back together again but differently and better. She wouldn't change a thing, not even the humiliation or the fights with Richard. It had all led to this. It was all part of some plan that resulted in him holding her. And she loved being held.

"Look at me," he whispered.

She pulled away from his chest, keeping her arms around his torso, and she turned her face towards his. He wasn't smiling but she knew he was content. As soon after their eyes met, his lowered and their lips touched.

He kissed her deeply. He kept her close in his arms, sweeping his tongue through her mouth again and again. She held on and tried her best to keep up. She did her best and felt the warmth spread up from her chest and fill her body with laughter and happiness. She didn't laugh, not out loud, but her spirit was having happy girly giggles. She felt his hands move up over her shoulders, then up to cup her neck and cheeks. He continued holding her in place as he ravished her mouth. He was so good.

Sparks had flown on set but this was a wildfire, spreading through every nerve in her body. She felt his hands now on her hips, squeezing them. She moved her own hands up over his chest, enjoying the feel of his muscles under the T-shirt he was wearing. She hadn't seen him look that comfortable yet today but in a plain grey cotton T-shirt and track pants. He looked just as good as when he was all done up for the cameras. He had showered, she could that when her hands met the braids on the back of his neck that were still a bit damp.

He moved his body forward and in that movement things changed. The giggly giddiness she had been suppressing left her and a deep heavy passion started to kindle in her being. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kept her mouth pressed against him when she felt the wall against her back. He was pushed up against her, devouring her.

She could feel him down there, hard and pressed against the front of his pants. He wasn't completely there yet but she knew more of their kissing and he would be ready to go, completely excited and just for her. It had been too damn long since she had felt that with a man; years since she had had sex, years since she had experienced intimacy, years since she had been pressed up against a wall ready to make love, ready to fall in love.

When his lips moved down from her mouth to her neck, she smiled breathlessly and made a move to speak. "Don't give me a hickey."

He pulled away and his eyes were sparkling. "They can cover it with make up," he wiggled his hips against hers and bit his lip.

"We need to stop."

He pouted. "Why?"

With every bit of her strength she had, she pulled her hands from him and laid her palms flat against the wall, trying to pull away as much body contact as possible. "Because I don't- I don't want us to get too carried away and someone walk in or us have to go to set-"

"And not finish."

She bit her lip and tried to suppress her smile but he was right. He had read her mind. She was ready to do anything and everything. He looked good and he smelled good and he even tasted good. She felt like she was on fire, tingling flames flicking across her skin, inside her skin. When his head dipped lower, she felt his lips against the neckline of her shirt, then all over her exposed skin. His lips were soft, sweet and he was brushing them against her like she was as delicate as a flower. His hands were encircled around her waist, pulling her against him. She couldn't help herself, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, letting her own hands run up through the braids on the back of his head. She gripped a few loose braids and pulled his head up a bit so she could kiss him but he pulled away and she was left searching for air.

"You're right," he said, shaking his head and pulling his hands away from her, slowly.

Her voice was rushed, harsh. "What?"

His eyes didn't meet hers and he just stared at the floor. "We need to stop."

"Why?" A weird, unpleasant feeling crept into her stomach, worse than the one that Celeste had evoked. She braced herself against the wall where they had just been making out and prayed he didn't just crush her back to reality. She couldn't deal with that again. She stared at him, unblinking trying to read something on his features that would make her feel better.

"We just-" he gulped and when he finally looked at her, she could see something in his eyes, something that was unsure and scared. She felt as though she could throw up. "We just do," he said in a pathetic attempt at an excuse. "I need to get ready for the next scene and so do you. So, I'll see you on set, okay?"

He turned to leave and before she could do anything, he pivoted back around, caressed her face for a moment while searching her eyes. He looked like he was going to say something but instead quickly pecked her cheek. Then he was gone out the door and she knew he was also gone out of her life. It had happened before and it was happening all over again. She was doomed.

It didn't help matters when Julian burst in a minute afterward talking rapidly, yelling at her, blaming her, asking her what she did and why she fucked things up. He wanted to know why Tom left the trailer disappointed and rapidly calling a number on his cell phone. She didn't say anything but stayed braced against the wall.

Celeste was there too but she didn't speak. She just reset her place by the vanity mirror, every now and then looking through that mirror to catch a wide eyed and dazed Kyrah, staring off into space. Julian's phone rang and she blinked but didn't move. She listened to his conversation as he said, "Hello?" then screamed, "WHAT?!" in an unbelievable tone, then tossed his phone onto the vanity. "Bridge says he's on the phone with her! With her, Kyrah! What'd you do?!"

She moved her eyes slowly to his. "Who?"

"Who?! Who do you think? Ria Sommerfeld herself! Apparently he kicked everyone out and the last thing Bridge heard him say is 'give me a second, Ria' before he threw a tantrum and told them to leave."

Kyrah sucked in a shaky breath and balled her fists. She had done something wrong. She wasn't sure what it was. Maybe it was just believing that he could care about her so soon after he had cut it off with one of the most exotic women in LA. "What was I thinking? I'm dreaming, thinking the impossible. Did I really believe that letting my guard down would reel him in and he wouldn't leave? Or that kissing him would mean something to him?"

"Kyrah! Kyrah! Talk to me! What'd you do?!"

She shook her head and snapped out of her daze, staring straight at Julian. He was looking at her like she had just committed some crime but hadn't told him yet was expecting him to defend her in court. As far as she knew, she hadn't done any crime. Unless falling for someone was a crime. She could see where this was leading already. She could see how he would be awkward the rest of the day, then tomorrow he'd be flirty like he was earlier. He would probably even kiss her but then Ria would visit him on set. The reality that he had never really gotten over his ex would hit her like hurricane and she would have to sit there in the wind and the rain and bear the beating of reality. She just couldn't believe she had let this happen again.

"Julian, get out," Celeste said forcefully.

He turned away from Kyrah and looked towards the makeup chair. "What?"

"Go."

He rolled his eyes. "Fuck off, C." He turned back to Kyrah. "Look, I'm not trying to be a dick but just a few minutes ago you were talking about how in love you were and now you're almost in tears and he's calling his ex. I just don't know how someone can fuck up that much," he scoffed and made a move to leave.

When the door slammed, Kyrah sighed. When Celeste tried to come over and console, her she pushed her away and headed straight for her chair. She sat down and looked at herself in the mirror, staring at her neck and her lips and the places he had kissed her. She couldn't shake the feeling, she couldn't get him off her. She was about to break.

Celeste came back over and put a hand on her shoulder "Ky, are you-"

"Just do my makeup. I really don't wanna talk."

Celeste didn't say anything to her while she got her makeup on for the next scene, which was now changed to the fight scene. When Kyrah asked Celeste to leave so she could make a phone call, Celeste didn't try to comfort her or talk to her. She just left quietly. When the door closed, Kyrah found her cell phone and walked into her small bed room, laying down against the pillows and curling into her side. A familiar number was dialed and when the person answered, she sighed and let it all out; tears, pain and all.

"Kelsie," she said, her lip trembling. She gulped and squeezed out the tears that were in her eyes. "I- I think I'm in trouble."

4 PM

Tom stared at himself in the mirror, watching his own misery. He blinked, hoping it would go away but it didn't. Every soft close of his eyelids only made the fear sink in deeper. Every time he looked back into his own eyes, he felt the cloud of shame thicken around him. He didn't know how much longer he could go without choking as he slouched in the chair.

He had been scared. He had felt too much and been creeped out. It was fun when it was just attraction. It was fine if he just wanted to sleep with her, and he did, but he wanted more. The more he kissed her and the more he touched her and the harder he pressed her up against that wall, the more he realized he was addicted. He was gone and he had been there before. Every time before, he had somehow managed to ruin it whether it was on the first day, on the third week, or on the second year. Having feelings for her was stupid and it was dangerous. He was an adrenaline junkie, that was for sure, but this was potential suicide. This was torture.

She had looked scared, almost as scared as he felt, when he left her standing alone and silent in her trailer. He knew she felt like she had done something wrong and he had been a fool to leave her there with pointless guilt. When he stalked to his own trailer, he saw the bystanders waiting, hoping he'd come out with messy hair and a content look on his face. Instead he came out with a scowl; confused, frustrated and pathetic.

He had instinctively dialed some numbers into his phone, not really sure why. When she had answered with a questionable and shocked, "Tom?" he knew he had made a mistake. He had kicked everyone out of his trailer, trying to buy himself more time, to figure out why in the hell he had called her of all people. Maybe he was trying to gain some closure. Maybe he was trying to clarify their break up so that he could start with Kyrah and have no questions or doubts about Ria. The truth was that he didn't know why he had called Ria. All he knew was that he had completely fallen for Kyrah and almost completely forgotten about his recent break up.

Normally he moped and went into depression. Normally his world shut down for a few weeks. Normally he called, begged, cried, made a fool of himself and he did that. No doubt he did that with Ria but not today. That particular day he woke up, knowing that he had to work, knowing it was going to suck. He asked himself how he was supposed to act in love with someone that he didn't know, especially after the woman he had loved just walked out of his life with little excuse. Then he sat down beside Kyrah and things didn't seem so bad. She spoke and the world seemed a little sweeter.

He'd had his heart broken before. He'd tried to use other women to forget and it had never worked before. He hadn't tried to do anything with Kyrah. He met her and forgot all the misery in his love life. He was filled with hope.

It was simple at first and the more he thought about it, it amazingly didn't seem to become more complicated. The most perplexing thing about them was how incredibly simple it was. It started out as a simple hope to kiss her. He didn't know why, he just wanted to. He could have pulled in some psychological bullshit about anxiety from the knowledge of having to kiss her in front of people but he had never really been one for psychology. He had thought so at one more. He read some books, then determined they were all trying way too hard to simplify people's problems and were cutting out any sort of faith or spirituality into people's thinking.

They cut out fate.

He wished Bill hadn't left. He wished he was there to talk to. Phone calls were getting him into trouble so he put his phone up on the counter and just stared at it. He was still amazed that he had called Ria. It had been an awkward conversation. It started with a struggled, "How are you doing?" and "Well, I was just checking in." She knew something was up. In some sick sense, he wanted to shout to her that he had found someone better, someone sweeter, prettier, more down to earth than she could ever be but he didn't want to make Kyrah into the rebound, the revenge, the recuperation.

Kyrah wasn't there to help him get over Ria. She was there for some bigger purpose and perhaps for no purpose at all. She was there to make him happy and right now, he was miserable because he had potentially fucked it all up. He should have told his inner voice to piss off and continued to kiss her until Julian busted in on them with some sexually illicit comment but instead he ran away. He ran away like a little bitch who was terrified of love. What did he expect? He had been burned time and time before. His latest wound had yet to heal or even to be cleaned. Kyrah wasn't an anesthetic nor was she a waterproof, flexible, cartooned band-aid. She was something different. Not a distraction nor an eraser. She wasn't a cover up or a safety net. Maybe that's what scared him. He didn't know what she was. He had honestly never felt such pure, simple emotion for anyone else in his life. Even his family, his mom, his brother, even they sometimes had their own drama with him, their own clauses and asterisks, guiding him to a footnote on special treatment for certain situations. He didn't have to be careful around Kyrah and that was hazardous.

She was different. Everyone always thought that about whomever they were dating at the time but she really was different. She was fresh, unlike anything he had seen in a long time. Not quite naive as he and Chantelle had been yet not nearly as jaded as he and Ria had become. She was hurt but she was still pure, terrified of falling in love but craving it at the same time, needing it.

He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. He was in much too deep and he was late for set. He hoped none of the gossip surrounding he and Kyrah had made its way to Richard's ears. He didn't need that. He doubt Richard would mind as long as their performances and acting was on par but still, he didn't need anyone doubting him and he didn't want anyone doubting Kyrah.

He got up and stretched. His clothes for the set were on a hanger. He slipped them off the hanger, threw them over the back of his chair. He changed into them silently, trying to drown out his own thoughts with the sounds of denim flapping over his legs.

As soon as he entered the studio, he thought about turning around and running away again. She was on the set, nervously biting her lip and tapping her foot. Richard was helping the lighting guys set up and Celeste was busy making sure that Kyrah looked perfect.

Before he had the chance to run to her or from her, he was pounced on by Bridgette. Powder was being applied to his face and Marge was pulling him along, complaining that he was late and that they didn't have time on such a tight schedule. She practically yanked him up onto the set, forcing him to maintain his balance but not without getting dangerously close to Kyrah. She had been staring at him but pulled her eyes away and refused to look at him. He knew he'd screwed up now. He knew that he had made a mistake in ditching her to call Ria. He just hoped she didn't know this last little detail. He hoped her silence was merely some trick she used to get into character but something inside of him told him otherwise.

"My lovebirds! You ready to fight?" Tom jumped when he felt a hand clamp onto his shoulder and looked at Kyrah who made a point to only look at Richard. The crew cleared from the set.

"Of course," Kyrah said sounding uncaring. Too uncaring.

Richard clapped his hands. "Okay, you two. Kyrah, sit on the couch. Tom go to the door and when I yell ‘action', come on through. Okay?"

She nodded and went to perch herself on the worn couch. The set was Victor's apartment. The same set from minutes before when they had kissed. Seven times. The lighting was different. It looked light, like it was daytime. He felt hands on his shoulders and numbly shuffled where the hands were pushing him to go. A door was opened for him and he stepped through it into a mock hallway, furnished and set up enough so when the door opened, in the shot it looked realistic.

"When I say 'action', wait about three seconds, then burst through the doorway, just like you would if you were coming home from work. Keys in your hand, some mail." Tom stood there and sighed as Claire promptly handed him a set of keys and some unopened mail. "You're surprised to see Gabrielle in there, then you can start with the dialogue. You ready? Where's your script?"

"Oh," Tom looked down at his hands that were filled with keys and envelopes. "I must have forgot it." He felt lost, like the only kid in class that forgot it was Show and Tell day but he couldn't improvise. He couldn't make up something. He couldn't claim that the shirt he was wearing was a shirt bought in some far away state or that he had brought a magical talking frog but that he jumped away at lunch time. He did that one once and he was so good and so animated that the teacher gave him a gold star for creativity even though she knew damn well he had failed to bring something to class. He wondered what Kyrah had brought to Show and Tell.

"Well, improvise. Remember this is the big fight. This is her finding out you're leaving her and this is you facing your fear of rejection and loneliness. You got this."

Tom gulped as the door was shut in his face and he was left in a claustrophobic box of a hallway. If only Richard knew how true this storyline was to his life. He was terrified of loneliness and getting pretty damn tired of rejection. He didn't know what made him trust Kyrah or what made him feel what he did for her. It was just there. Like highway noise or bills or roaches. No matter where you went or what you did, they were all still there. He trusted Kyrah and nothing was going to change that. Now he just had to get her to trust him and he had to stop acting like a fool.

He rested his back against the plywood board there and waited. He heard someone call 'scene', then heard Richard's 'action'. He sighed, took a breath and hoped that the scene would run smoothly, in only a few takes, and that maybe he'd get to talk to her afterwards. His hand was on the door and he pushed it open, pretending to be coming in for the day, looking down at his keys and his mail. He shut the door behind him and looked up.

She was beautiful, even with her somber face. She was sitting on the couch looking like she could cry. He set down the things in his hands and stared at her. "Hey."

She laughed quietly, hoarsely, and nodded her head before looking down at something in her hands. "Hi."

"What's going on?" he moved, remembering the set directions. He was to walk past the camera, in front of the couch and coffee table where she was at. He did as he was told but tripped on the way. "Shit."

Quiet laughter filled the set and he blushed, looking at her for a smile. She didn't look at him, didn't smile. She only sat back against the couch.

"Okay, try again."

It was annoying. Five takes later, they still hadn't made it to the actual conversation. He growled in frustration back in his little cell outside of the fake doorway. He didn't mind the several takes, he didn't mind repetition but having her ignore him, having her not even respond to him was utter torture and he didn't know what he was going to have to do to make her look at him. He'd do it during shooting if he had to.

He heard action again and repeated his movements. "Hey."

"Hi."

He sighed, hoping to make it to the other side of the small set without hearing another 'cut'. "What's going on?"

A smile almost came to his lips when he realized he was triumphantly farther in the scene than before. "So were you just not going to tell me?" He turned and her eyes were burning into his. They were brimmed with tears and there was anger behind her face that he hadn't seen before.

"What?"

She waved what was in her hand at him. A plane ticket. This was the scene where Gabrielle found out that Victor was leaving LA, leaving California and leaving her. She laughed again. It was that really bitter laugh that made him sick. "Jordan said something to me earlier today. Told me you had quit. I didn't believe him, then he told me you already had tickets lined up to go back home. I came here, waiting for you to get back. I wanted to ask you myself but I don't have to. The damn things were laying right here."

"Gabby-"

"What?" She was supposed to say his name there. She didn't and he stared at her and realized she wasn't acting. She was saying the words she was supposed to and doing the movements but her anger and her frustration and her tears weren't fake.

"Shit." Now he had to act like he was pissed at her. "So you were snooping?"

"You never tell me anything," she said to him defiantly. "You're the one who gave me a key and you're the one who left this right here for me to see."

"I-" he stopped, licked his lips, then said, "I just can't handle it anymore."

"What am I gonna do?" she was forcefully holding back her tears now. Her lip was shaking. "What the hell am I gonna do when you're gone?"

He groaned and pointed a finger at her. "You're the one that was pushing us! You're the one that kept changing your mind. You're the one that's all scared and has the insecurities!" He didn't want to be there. He didn't want to act. It was like he was a robot or outside of himself. He was going through the motions, going through the scene he memorized, but watching it from the outside. It was like a bad dream. He wanted to scream at himself, "Stop!" But when he opened his mouth, silence.

"I'm scared?!" she yelled and shot up from the couch. "You're the one running away." Running away from her and calling his ex. He knew that's what she wanted to say. He knew now. She knew. She knew he called Ria. She knew he was terrified. He had blown it. It was such a simple mistake but it was the one small sneeze that started an avalanche.

"What else am I supposed to do? I'm stuck, Gabrielle!" he almost gasped to hear that come out of his mouth. "Kyrah. Her name is Kyrah." He wasn't acting, not this time. "You're- you're-" he took a breath trying to remember his lines and trying not to scream out that he loved her. "You're what everyone wants now. You're the one with the TV deal. I'm stuck back in commercial land." She stared at him and he shook his head. "I mean, it's not like we're married."

"But you-" The anger was gone. She stepped toward him and he could hear her shoes against the rug. The set was silent. Everyone was watching this. He wanted to turn and yell at them and tell them to leave them alone but he couldn't. He was stuck, stuck trying to say he was sorry, trying to tell her he needed another chance. His actions and his words defied him, even if they weren't his own. "But we're in-"

"In love?" he forced himself to say bitterly, swallowing the lump in his throat when her tears slipped down her face. "When did I ever mention that?"

"Fuck you!" she came over and pushed him. It wasn't a joke. Her tears weren't a game. She started to pace and that wasn't in the script.

He stepped for her and tried to grab her arm. "Shit, I'm-" That wasn't in the script either, nor was her rough way of pulling her arm from him.

"I can't do this without you. Don't you get that?" She was crying full on now and he was shocked when she came up and grabbed his arms. She shook her head and pleaded with him looking into his eyes. "Let me go with you."

"What? This is your dream."

"No, it's not," she shook her head.

He softened his voice, "All you've talked about is being on TV, being in the movies, being a star. You got it. You fucking got it."

She shook her head and pulled herself against him, crying against him. He wanted to hold her. He needed to. His arms itched to just circle around her but he couldn't. He just couldn't. "It changed. My dreams changed."

"To what? Back to waiting tables?" he asked, hating that he had to act like an ass. He realized he wasn't acting. He was an ass. He had been stupid and he was losing her. "It shouldn't hurt this much," he thought. "Not yet, not this soon.'

"No, you," she whispered. She pulled away a little and looked up at him. "Don't you get it? It's- it's all you."

He almost kissed her. He looked into her eyes, streaming with tears, begging for him to love her. He saw it there. She was going to forgive him. She already had but he had hurt her and it was going to set them back. He should have known. Kyrah was a fragile girl and he had forgotten that.

Her eyes narrowed a little. He wondered why, then realized she was trying to snap him out of it. They were still on set. They were still recording, He realized he had to do the one thing he almost couldn't bring himself to do. He pushed her away. "I can't deal with you when you're like this."

"Like what?" she asked but he didn't say anything. He just went and sat on the couch. He picked up the fake plane ticket and glanced up at her. She was bawling. She was fucking bawling. "Like what?! Like I'm in love with you?" she screamed. "Are you so scared of that?" she laughed and he wanted to throw up. "Is that why you're running away?"

"Stop it." He was beginning to despise his own character.

"Because you're scared of someone loving you! I'm not- I'm not her."

He gulped. No, she wasn't. She wasn't Chantelle and she definitely wasn't Ria. She was his Kyrah. She was mature yet still naive. Hurt but not devastated. Unbelieving but not hopeless. He turned from her and stared off into space, saying, "You're turning into her. One day I'll get in over my head and I'll do something and you'll stop loving me. You'll-" His lungs breathed heavily and he blinked, trying to stop himself from crying. Victor wasn't supposed to cry. Victor was supposed to be cold and unemotional, so far behind his own walls that he was miles away but he wasn't miles away. He was five feet away and he wanted her. "You'll just stop."

"Is that's what you really think?" she asked. He didn't look at her. He couldn't. He knew her voice was the voice of a woman that was hurt beyond words. He had heard it in Chantelle's voice, even though she had been the one to make the big mistakes. He had heard it in Ria whenever he heard her talk about her exes. It was the voice of a mad, bitter woman with an unfixable heart. He didn't want her to be one too. "Is that's how you feel? Then fine. Just leave. I don't- I don't want you anyway." It was silent and he still didn't look at her but he could feel her get closer. A second later heard her yell, "God, I wouldn't do that! You know me! You fucking know me!" she lowered her voice and said slowly, "You know I wouldn't." She was walking away and he heard the door creak open. "You go on back home. You go do whatever the hell it is you wanna do." He took a breath and waited for it but it didn't come. After a moment, he looked over his shoulder and saw her in the doorway staring at him. Her cheeks were wet and her nose was runny. She shook her head and said, "I hope your plane crashes." He jumped when the door slammed.

Victor was supposed to sigh, get up and walk off the set, leaving the shot with just an empty couch but he couldn't move. He put his head in his hands and sat there and waited. He just couldn't move.

A moment later he heard, "Cut!" The set seemed to sigh with him. He sat back against the couch and slung an arm over his eyes, hoping any tears would go away and praying to God he wouldn't have to do that again. "Brilliant!" he heard someone mumble and glanced up to see Richard beaming, some people started to clap. "Brilliant mate," he said, then walked to the door that was slammed shut. "Kyrah?"

"Yeah?"

He opened it and Tom looked over at her. She had wiped her cheeks dry but was sniffing. Richard hugged her. "I love you! You know that, right?"

"I've lost my voice," she said, sounding raspy.

He pulled her out onto the set and had his arm around her shoulders. Tom couldn't stop staring at her. She wasn't looking at him. She was ignoring him once again. "I think we're done with that. I don't think it can be any better. Go drink some tea and get ready for the next scene." Richard smiled and looked over at Tom. "Can you two act in love now?"

He began to laugh and pat Kyrah on the back, then walked back over to his camera to watch the playback. Tom stood up off the couch and watched as Kyrah quickly walked off the set and towards the door of the studio. "Oh, hell no. She's not gonna run from me. She's not gonna do like I did." He trotted after her and called out, "Kyrah!"

She stopped but didn't turn around. He came up behind her and said, "I- I'm sorry about earlier."

"Don't- Just-" she put up a hand and shook it a bit. He watched her shoulders move in a deep breath, then she turned around. He felt his shoulders lighten their load when her eyes met his. This time she was really looking at him. He couldn't help but smile a little. "Don't be sorry," she shook her head and sighed, like she was pissed at herself. "I'm just- I'm going too fast and getting too-"

He stepped forward. "So am I"

"What?"

He shrugged. "That's why I bolted. It's- It's too much too soon. It doesn't really happen like this. You're-" he stopped himself. "I can't say that, can I?" He didn't want to scare her. He had already made enough mistakes that day.

"What?" She was breathless.

He was close, so close that he didn't care about making a mistake and brought his hand to her face. People were watching, people could see and he didn't give a damn. He rubbed under her eye with his thumb. They were still a bit red. She really had been crying, crying because of him. He sighed, "You're not supposed to fall in love with someone in less than six hours."

She only blinked and her mouth opened just slightly. He heard her sigh and continued to touch her face. He wanted to kiss her so he did. His head lowered and he touched her mouth with his, holding her face tightly in his hand. It was heaven but it was short. She had pushed him away. He didn't want to open his eyes and see her rejection but when he finally did look at her, instead of a scowl or a frown, he saw a quiet smile on her face, shy, blushing just a bit. "I gotta go get ready," she whispered, still smiling.

She turned to leave but he grabbed her hand and said, "I called her to make sure everything there was done and gone. I just had to be sure-" he had to let her know.

She shook her head, her smile a little sad now. "You dated her for two years. That kind of stuff doesn't just disappear."

He didn't know what to say to her. She didn't believe him or if she did, she still had her doubts. He didn't want her doubting what he felt for her.

"Kyrah!" He looked over her shoulder and saw Julian hanging in the doorway of the studio. "Come on! We need to get you undressed and all sexified!"

She left his grasp and started to walk towards Julian. He couldn't have her just leaving him so he called out, "Don't give up on me, Kyrah. Not yet."

She stuttered. Her raspy voice failing her and all she said in return was, "I'll- I'll see ya on set."

A moment later, she had disappeared and he was left alone with people all around him, buzzing with the set change. He didn't know what had just happened and he wasn't sure if it was progress or not but she wasn't crying anymore and she wasn't ignoring him. He had a lot of work to do and as he finally moved himself out of the door and to his own trailer, staring at hers as he went. He knew he was going to have to do something to get her to open back up to him. They only had one more scene to go for the day, the love scene, and he didn't know how he was going to pull it off.

Chapter Three