The Muses Within

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Das Letzte Lied - Chapter Four

"Tom? What was that about?" Tayla's cheeks were flushed as they walked out to the vans together.

"What?" He asked innocently as he leaned into the car and strapped Bradyn into his seat.

"You. Out there." She waved her arm toward the studio as she climbed into the van, taking Bill's seat.

"Where am I going to sit?" Bill whined as Georg climbed in the back seat.

"In the other van." Tom said quickly as the guard shut the door.

"I thought you wanted to keep Bradyn private." Tayla said softly.

"I did."

"By putting him on national television?" She raised her eyebrow at him.

"I'd rather be the one saying when he's on camera than have those assholes climbing around in the bushes trying to get the million dollar shot." Tom strapped his seat belt across his waist as they pulled out onto the street. "The tabloids and media and everything will stop at nothing to get something they're told they can't have. If I kept saying that Bradyn was off limits, they'd push the envelope by doing anything to get his picture. Anything. If I offer up a few of approved pictures and have him on TV once, they have their exposure and he's no longer this huge secret that they're going to try and crack."

"No, they'll just think he's fair game now. Once he's on TV they'll think it's okay to hound into his life." Tayla scowled.

"No offense, Tayla, but you have no idea." Tom shook his head.

"Well, I think that-" Georg started from the back seat.

Tom had forgotten anyone else was in the car and unintentionally interrupted. "Besides maybe-" He stopped and looked back at Georg. "What?"

"Nothing. I was just going to say that I think it's a good thing because you said you were looking for his mom and maybe someone out there will recognize him. Or something." Georg shrugged and sat back in his seat.

"You did this to try to find his mom?" Tayla asked as she looked from Georg to Tom.

"No." Tom shook his head. "No, that's not why I did it but that's a good point." He nodded at Georg. "I'm having Gerda come by tomorrow to take some pictures that we can release to the press. She's the only one I trust enough to do that."

"Tom." Tayla sighed. She had seen what the fame and media had done to the guys and that was nothing Bradyn needed to be exposed to.

"If I didn't bring him out on my own, some jerk would somehow sneak a picture of him going into or coming out of the hotel or venue or whatever. They'd play it like I was ashamed to say he was mine or that I was trying to hide him and I'm not."

"But Tom look at Danielle. She has kept her kids out of the spotlight. Until today I had no idea what her kids looked like."

"That's a completely different situation." Tom shook his head.

"Our tour will be over here in a few weeks." Georg said from the back seat.

"Exactly. Once the tour is over all this press stuff will die down and people will forget about him but, for now, I needed to do this." Tom shrugged.

"And if it brings his mom out of the woodwork, all the better." Georg added softly.

"Hrmph." Tayla made a sound of disagreement and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Regardless, it's done." Tom sighed and looked out the window.

"Yeah." Tayla breathed deeply onto the window and watched it fog up as they headed to the hotel. She was dreading the next few weeks and hoped Tom had made the right decision.

----------------

The tour began to wrap up over the next nine weeks and the media was amazingly calm over the whole Bradyn thing. They understood Tom's desire for privacy and accepted the pictures he provided the press. Tayla was still a little wary of all the media attention surrounding the little boy but Tom set the guidelines and stuck by them better than she could have hoped for. With that little bit of stress reduced, the guys relaxed a lot more. Instead of doing the shows as their job, they were doing them as their playtime. They had more fun with the crowd, more fun with each other; the practical jokes became a nightly unpredictable thing that the band was usually in on. By the time their last week rolled around, they were like little kids going to Disney World every night and the euphoric feeling was contagious.

"Tayla! Tayla! Tayla!" Bradyn ran over to her and slammed into her legs.

"Whoa! Hey, Bray!" She laughed and placed her hand on his back. "What are you doing?"

"I hide!" He screeched as Bill and Gustav ran around the corner and looked around frantically.

"Bradyn!" They shouted as they looked behind clothing racks and storage cases. Bill looked inside the pockets of some of the hanging jackets while Gustav looked in the three-inch gap between the cases.

"Where'd he go?" Gustav asked Bill with his hands on his hips.

"I don't know." Bill panted. "Have you seen Bradyn?" Bill asked Tayla as Bradyn wrapped his arms tighter around her knees.

"No." She shook her head and laughed. "Bradyn who?"

"He's a little kid. He has short hair and he's wearing jeans, I think." Bill explained with a smile.

"No, he's wearing swim trunks." Gustav shook his head.

"No, I think he's wearing jeans with a green shirt."

"That's why we can't find him! You're looking for the wrong kid!" Gustav rolled his eyes. "He's wearing red swim trunks and a tank top."

"I haven't seen anyone like that." Tayla shook her head.

"Okay." Bill said with a defeated sigh.

"We'll just play with him later then, I guess." Gustav pouted and turned to go.

"I here!" Bradyn jumped out from behind Tayla's legs wearing his beige shorts and green shirt.

Bill and Gustav turned around suddenly, acting surprised to see him there. "Hey, Bradyn!" Gustav took off after him as Bradyn bolted in the opposite direction.

"Gotta go." Bill smiled as he ran by Tayla.

"Keep an eye on him, you guys." Tayla warned.

"We are." Bill waved over his shoulder and followed Gustav and Bradyn around the corner. Tayla smiled and shook her head. So many things had changed for the better since Bradyn joined the tour. Gustav and Bill had always been playful but now they had an outlet for all their energy.

The dressing room was in an unusually clean state when she pushed the door open five minutes later. "Hello?" She asked tentatively. She had seen all the guys in their underwear before, but she didn't want to just stumble into it.

"Yeah?" Georg called from the back. She should have known he'd be there.

"Hey, Georg. It's just me, Tayla."

"Hi, Tayla. What's up?" He walked out with his T-shirt in his hands.

"Not much. I was actually looking for Tom. Do you know where he might be?"

"Um, I don't know. He said something about hitting the gym with Saki but I just saw Saki cruising around by the barricades so I dunno." He shrugged and pulled his shirt over his head. "Who knows."

"Great." She sighed, "Do you know if he's wearing his pants?"

Georg laughed and slowly smiled. "I hope so."

"I mean his- Never mind. I can just look." She blushed quickly and ducked around Georg into the actual dressing area.

"What do you need him in his pants for?" Georg asked as he continued to chuckle.

"He said he was having pocket issues so I wanted to try to fix it while he was in them but I think I know what's wrong so I'll just go take a look."

"Okay." Georg smiled and cleared his throat.

"So how's Kala?" Tayla raised her voice to be heard from four racks away.

"She's good." Georg nodded. "She'll be here Thursday."

"I can't believe the last show is Saturday. Isn't that crazy?" She laughed.

"Yeah but it'll be cool." Georg nodded with a tired smile.

"Cool. So she'll get to hang out on Friday?"

"Yeah." Georg smiled and got that dreamy look in his eyes. "Then we're flying back to Germany together on Monday." He sighed.

"How much time are you guys getting off? I mean, I know I get something like two months without a deadline commitment for clothes but-"

"Yeah we get I think eight weeks? Maybe nine? Something like that. Then we start getting ready for the European tour which is probably when you'll have to report back."

"Yeah." Tayla located the pants that Tom was having a problem with and pulled them down. She sat on a little chair and whipped out her little kit. "Are you excited about doing the tour in Europe?"

"I guess." Georg shrugged. "We haven't toured there in a while so it'll be awesome to play at home again."

"Now that you're all famous and stuff."

"Yeah." He gave an embarrassed smile.

Tayla made a few quick stitches then gave it a little tug. "Are you taking this whole stage set up with you over there?"

"No." Georg shook his head. "We don't really have a way to get it there and it'd be so expensive to build another one over there. But we already have the stage arranged for that tour. It'll be different but just as cool." He smiled as Tayla stood up to hang the pants again.

"I can't wait." She sighed and tucked her hands in her pockets as she headed for the door again. "Well if you talk to Kala before she gets here, let her know that Nadiehn and I plan to do a day at the spa and I think she should come."

"Oh, I'm sure she'll love to."

"I hope she does. I could use one too." Tayla laughed and waved as she pulled the door open. "Well I'm gonna go see about annoying Saki. I'll see ya later."

"Bye, Tayla."

----------------

Tayla stood at the edge of the crowd next to a couple of the security guards. Her badge was out in plain view so that it would be clear that she was with them when it came time to go into the arena. She had her arms crossed over her chest when another girl walked up to her. She wouldn't have even noticed her if she hadn't looked familiar at first. "Hi. I'm Astrid. Can I, um- Is there a way to get a message to one of the guys?" She asked.

"Not really." Tayla said distractedly. She wasn't a messenger and wasn't about to start taking notes and gifts from all the girls she met.

"If you could just let Tom, uh- Tom know that Astrid is here and I'd like to see him." She said softly.

Tayla was about to tell the girl that she wasn't an answering service when a bell went off in her mind. She was Astrid. The girl in front of her was Bradyn's mom Astrid. The blood drained from her face and her lips turned cold. "You're Astrid?" She studied the woman's face looking for similarities to the grainy black and white photo Tom had of her. The eyes were unmistakable.

"Yes." The girl smiled nervously. "Is Tom around?"

"You're- You're Astrid." Tayla repeated. "Bradyn's m-mother?"

"Yes." Astrid nodded and gave Tayla a look. "And you are?"

"I'm Tayla. I've spent the last 4 months raising your son." Her shock turned to anger when the full realization of who she was sank in.

"He hired a nanny?" Astrid almost laughed.

"I'm dating him." Tayla heard herself say.

"Tom? You're dating Tom?"

"Yes." Tayla lied.

That caught Astrid off guard, "Is he- Is Tom around? I think we should talk."

"Oh you think now you should talk? I think maybe 4 months ago would have been a better time, don't you think? You know, instead of dumping your kid with a stranger."

"Gustav wasn't a stranger." Astrid said softly.

"He was a stranger to Bradyn. What kind of-"

"Is there a problem?" Saki asked as he stepped closer to Tayla.

"No." Tayla shook her head quickly. "No problem. I'm going to go get Tom. I'll be right back." She said to Saki. "Wait here." She addressed Astrid before she turned and practically ran towards the dressing room.

The door swung open easily as Tayla threw it open and ran toward the back by the racks. "Tom?!"

"Yeah?" He stepped out from behind his roller holding Bradyn upside down. Bradyn laughed like a maniac as Tom swung him from side to side.

"We have a problem." She said quickly as she tried not to trip over her words.

"We?"

"You. You have a problem." Tayla said. She wasn't sure how to say it. She was afraid if she just blurted it out, he'd drop Bradyn on his head. "Here." She leaned down and grabbed Bradyn under his arms to bring him upright. She balanced him on her hip and straightened his hair. "Astrid is here to see you." She said softly.

"Who?" Tom asked with a confused look.

"Astrid." Tayla met his eye and gave him a knowing look. "Yes, that Astrid."

"She's here?" Tom asked to make sure he'd heard her right.

"Yeah, she's out front. I left her with Saki at the east gate."

"She's here?" Tom asked again as his cheeks burned bright red. "Well, she can just stay out there. I have nothing to say to her."

"I think you should." Tayla tried to hold onto Bradyn as he arched his back, trying to go upside down again.

"If I go out there now, there's gonna be a scene." Tom fidgeted with his hands nervously.

"If you don't go there could be a bigger one." Tayla said softly. "One thing though-"

"What?"

"I kinda told her we're together."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I told her you and I are together."

"Me and you?"

"Yeah."

"Dating?"

"Yeah." Tayla closed her eyes and cringed slightly.

"Why did you tell her that?"

"I don't know. I just- When she said who she was I panicked."

"Tayla." He said with a disapproving tone.

"So tell her I lied." She shrugged. "She just looked so smug I had to say something."

"Tayla, I can't go out there right now."

"You have to." Tayla nodded and bounced Bradyn up on her hip again. "Sit still, honey." She said softly to Bradyn.

"Upsigh dow." Bradyn laughed.

"We'll do that in just a minute, sweetie." Tayla smiled at Bradyn then looked back at Tom. "I have him. Go and see what she wants."

"She's not getting him." He said as the thought crossed his mind.

"Of course not." Tayla shook her head. "Just go see what she wants. We'll be waiting right here."

"Fine." He sighed and ruffled Bradyn's hair quickly then kissed his forehead. "I'll be right back." He headed out the door and toward the main hallway.

Tom took several deep breaths as he walked down the concrete hall to where Tayla said Astrid was waiting. He walked up to one of the event security staffers by the door. "Is Saki out there?"

"Saki?" The kid asked.

"Yeah."

"I don't know." He shrugged and fiddled with his badge.

"Will you open the door and see if Saki is standing right outside?" Tom sighed. He was ready to hit something and the kid had no idea how close he was.

He sighed and pulled the door open. "Hey! Are you Saki?"

"Who're you?" Saki shouted back.

"There's a guy in here looking for you." The kid shouted without answering Saki's question.

"Who is it?"

"What's your name?" The kid asked Tom.

"Tell him it's who he's waiting for." Tom rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall.

"He says it's who you're waiting for." The kid shrugged.

"Jesus." Tom whispered under his breath.

Saki pushed the door open and stepped through with a young lady following close behind. "What's your name kid?" He asked.

"Jeff."

"Jeff?" Saki raised his eyebrow. "You're off the door. Good night."

"But I have to-"

"No. You're getting on my nerves. You're off the door. Go find your little boss person or whatever and tell them Saki said you can't work the door any more. And make sure they know you pissed me off." Saki shook his head as the kid walked away. "You okay here?" He asked. Tom didn't say anything he just nodded and kept his eyes on the girl. "I'll be right outside that door."

"Thanks." Tom said softly. Saki opened the door and stepped out but left the door open a crack so he'd be able to hear if anything happened behind him.

"Hi." Astrid said as she took a step toward him.

He instinctively took a step back and looked up at her with just his eyes. "What do you want?" His own voice frightened him.

"I thought we could talk." She stood up straight as the icy tone he used swept over her.

"We can't talk here." Tom glanced around the narrow hall where they stood. "We're staying at the Hyatt. Come by after the show tonight."

"I'd really rather talk now." Astrid insisted.

"No." Tom looked in straight in her eyes and set his jaw. "I have a show to do and I don't have time to tell you everything I want to tell you. If you want to settle this now I can assure you that you will not like what I have to say. I'll talk to you after the show at the hotel or I won't talk to you at all. Whichever way you want it."

"Tom, you can't just-"

"Watch me." He interrupted her.

"Can I at least see Bradyn?"

Tom took a deep breath to keep his rage under control. "If I have my way, you'll never see him again." He glanced at the door over her shoulder and raised his voice. "Saki?"

The side door opened before the word finished echoing off the walls. "Yeah?"

"We're done here." Tom's lips were white as he clasped then shut.

"No more visitors tonight?" Saki asked as he held the door open for Astrid. Tom shook his head once then turned sharply and began down the hall again, leaving Astrid standing in the doorway.

"Miss?" Saki nodded out the door and waited for her to follow. She reluctantly sighed and rolled her eyes before she stepped through the door again to return to her seat.

Tom opened and closed his hands a dozen times before he reached the dressing room where Tayla and Bradyn were waiting. Gustav had shown up and was sitting in one of the director's chairs pretending that Bradyn was tying him up.

"Hey." Tom said softly.

"Where is she?" Gustav jumped up as Bradyn protested.

"No, dow! I tie!"

"Oh, sorry." Gustav sat back down and pretended to tie himself back up. "Where is she?"

"Outside, I guess." Tom shrugged. "That's where I left her."

"Tom." Tayla started to talk but she didn't know what to say.

"I told her if she wanted to talk she had to come to the hotel tonight." Tom looked from Bradyn to Tayla. "Can you- Will you please keep him tonight?" Bradyn continued to tie Gustav to the chair in silence.

"Yeah. Of course." Tayla nodded.

"What did she have to say?'" Gustav scowled.

"Not much. I just told her that it wasn't a good time and that if she wanted to talk she'd go to the hotel. But I also told her that if I had my way she'd never see him again."

"Tom, you shouldn't say that." Tayla said softly with a frown.

"It's true. She has-" Tom stopped himself. "I didn't want to talk right now because I didn't want to get all riled up. I'll talk to her tonight if she shows up."

"And if she doesn't?" Gustav asked.

"Then screw her." Tom dropped his voice a notch and went around the side of the racks to finish getting dressed.

"Uh oh." Bradyn said as he watched Tom walk away.

"Yeah, uh oh." Tayla nodded. "Bradyn, you're gonna stay in my room tonight. Is that cool?"

"And Lello?"

"Of course."

"I nigh-nigh?"

"Not right now but, yeah, you'll go night-night in my room." Tayla nodded.

"And Gustav?"

"No, Gustav will be in his own room."

"Oh."

"But we can hang out tomorrow when we go to Universal, okay?" Gustav rubbed Bradyn's head affectionately.

"Kay and ride?"

"Yeah, we're gonna go on rides." Gustav laughed.

"You guys are going to Universal tomorrow?" Tayla asked.

"Plan on it, yeah. I guess it'll depend on how this goes though, huh?"

"We ride." Bradyn nodded, ending the discussion.

"I guess we're gonna ride." Gustav laughed and stood up. "But right now I have to get dressed."

"We'll leave you alone for that." Tayla took Bradyn's hand and headed for the door. "Say good-bye to Gustav and daddy."

"Bye." Bradyn said loudly as he swung Tayla's hand back and forth.

"Wait!" Tom came out from behind his rack of clothes wearing only his boxers. "Wait! Tayla, don't take him out there right now."

"We're not going anywhere." Tayla shook her head.

"I mean, don't take him out to the bus or anything."

"I'm not." Tayla knelt to pick Bradyn up. "We're going to go to the cafeteria to get something to eat, then we're going to the play room."

"Just be real careful, okay?" Tom's brow furrowed into deep creases.

"We'll be careful." Tayla smiled and hugged Bradyn close. "We'll be right here in the dressing room when you finish."

----------------

As soon as the concert was over Tom grabbed Tayla and Bradyn and piled into the awaiting van to take them back to the hotel. Bradyn was sound asleep and never once woke up until Tom laid him gently in Tayla's bed. "G'night, Bray." Tom whispered.

"Bye, Daddy." Bradyn mumbled as he squished his face into the pillow.

"I'll see you bright and early in the morning, okay?"

"Kay." Bradyn sighed then began to snore as Tom stood up.

"Thanks a lot, Tayla." He said softly as they walked to the door. "I know this is kind of a mess-"

"Don't worry about it." She said as she shook her head. "Just get things worked out or whatever." Tayla looked down at her shoes as she shuffled her feet.

"I'll come get him at-"

"Just call when you wake up. I don't have much going tomorrow so sleep in or whatever."

"You don't have to."

"I know I don't." Tayla smiled. "Do what you have to do and call me when you get up. Don't worry about it."

"Thank you, Tayla. Really."

"Enough already." She rolled her eyes and blushed. "Go down and meet with her. I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay." He nodded and stepped out into the hall.

"G'night, Tom."

"G'night, Tayla." Tom gave her a weak wave and shuffled down the hall with his hands deep in his pockets. His hair stood on end as it did after every show and she saw for the first time how truly tired he was. Tayla sighed and shook her head before she shut her door.

----------------

When Tom got back to his room he picked up his phone and ran his fingers over the numbers. "Who are you calling?" He mumbled to himself. Who should he call? He held the phone and frowned. He reached for his book. He flipped through his calendar pages back a couple months and found the number for Officer Hoff.

"Well, I guess she needs to know." He sighed. He dialed the number and waited as the phone rang in his ear. It was after eleven and Tom didn't expect her to answer. When it went to her professional sounding voice mail he wasn't surprised. "Hi, Officer Hoff. This is Tom Kaulitz." He took a deep breath. "We worked together a few months ago or I guess you did the work and I just kinda- Well anyway, my son was left in the hotel lobby by his mom with my friend Gustav-" He stopped and rubbed his temple. "I'm rambling. I'm sorry. I hope you know who this is." Tom laughed lightly. "Um, Bradyn's mom showed up tonight at my show and I thought you should know, just in case. If you need to reach me you can call my cell." Tom quickly left his cell phone number and hung up the phone. He mentally kicked himself. Was it possible for him to sound more stupid?

On second thought, that may not be the smartest question to ask. Tom pushed himself up off the bed and headed for the bathroom where he showered quickly and threw on some comfortable jeans and a T-shirt in anticipation of Astrid's arrival. Assuming she would show up.

Tobi knocked on Tom's door just as he was ready to give up waiting. "You have company." Tobi said softly when Tom opened the door.

"Thanks." Tom nodded to the guard and held the door open for Astrid. She hesitantly stepped in. He shut the door quickly and brushed past her to switch the table lamp on. "So?"

"First let me say that I'm sorry I just dropped him off like that." Astrid's voice shook as she remained standing near the door.

"Take a seat. This could take a while." Tom avoided her eye as he pulled one of the chairs away from the table to sit.

"I'll stand. Thanks."

"Sit down." Tom said. He left no room for argument. She reluctantly scooted the chair back and sat rigidly. "I don't want to hear your apologies. Right now I don't even want to see you."

"Tom, I-"

"Don't. Don't try to rationalize this at all. I got your letter and I know that life may have been rough for you raising the kid by yourself but that does not excuse you in any way. What kind of mother abandons their kid with a stranger in the lobby of a hotel? What if I hadn't come back? What if Gustav was there on his own?" Tom used all of his energy to keep himself poised and collected. The last thing he wanted was to fly off the handle at her but, at the same time, that was all he wanted.

"I knew Gustav could get him to you."

"So you left your problem up to Gustav?" Tom challenged her.

She was quiet for a minute. "Where's Bradyn?"

"What if I said I let social services take him? Let them put him up for adoption after searching for four months to find you?"

"You wouldn't." She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Oh you don't think so, huh?" Tom's eyebrows shot up. "How would you know? You don't know me at all. To be completely honest, the thought crossed my mind more than once. To let someone else deal with it." Tom took a deep breath. "Mostly I didn't do it for selfish reasons. It'd make me look bad. It would tarnish my name."

Astrid stared at him with a look of relief. "You have him?"

"Yes. Barely."

"Barely?"

"I almost lost him."

"Toddlers tend to wander."

"No. He almost died." Tom said softly. "I almost lost him."

"What happened?" Astrid paled suddenly.

"He got sick." Tom kept it short.

"Let me see him." She placed her hands flat on the table and looked prepared to pounce.

"No. He's not here right now." Tom shook his head and remained calm.

"Get him. Right now."

"You're in no position to be telling me what to do. I could call the police and have Officer Hoff show up in a matter of minutes to arrest you for child endangerment, neglect and abandonment. Combine all of those and you'd be facing a lot of jail time, don't you think?" He was making most of that up but it sounded intimidating.

"I did what was best for him." She said softly as tears rose in her eyes.

"I would have disagreed with you before but now I know that you're right. He's much better off with me." Tom quickly remembered what Tayla said earlier. "He's with my girlfriend right now. He's sleeping. If you want to see him you can come back tomorrow and you can have one supervised hour. In my room."

"Don't be crazy." She almost laughed. "I don't need to be supervised to see my own son."

"Yes. You do."

"I'm going to take him off your hands since he was such an inconvenience."

"No, you're not."

"I'll take you to court if I have to." She threatened though her wobbly voice gave away her fear.

"You're going to have to." He nodded. "After the charges are pressed, I have a feeling you'll be spending a lot of time in court."

She stood up suddenly and turned for the door. "You can't keep him from me. I'm his mother."

"You should have thought about that before you left him in a hotel lobby." Tom said from the table.

"I did think about it!" She shouted as the tears over flowed. "There was nothing else for me to do! Don't you think I would do everything in my power for that little boy? I love him with ever ounce of my heart. I couldn't take care of him. I had no money. No home. Nothing, Tom. I had less than nothing. I did what I thought was best for Bradyn. I knew that, no matter what, he'd be safer with you than with me bouncing from house to house, sleeping on the couches of random friends."

"You could have told me about Bradyn sooner. I would have helped."

"I tried."

"You didn't try very hard. We went back through the fan mail and the management call records. They found a total of eleven messages or letters from girls claiming to be the mothers on our children. Of those eleven only four were for me. One was from Canada claiming I was the father of her nine year old daughter. One was from London claiming I fathered her twin girls. One was from a girl who actually called once for each of us trying to pin her son on us. And one was from you with no last name, no phone number and no address."

"I sent you letters."

"To my fan mail center through the record company where they are read and handled by mail room staffers. Not one letter was sent to the management company." He shook his head. "You robbed me of two years with my son."

"Tom, I tried."

"You didn't."

"I did try."

"Astrid, I'm telling you, you didn't. You didn't leave me any way to get in touch with you when you left him. I had a private investigator doing everything he could to try to find you. You were untraceable. If you hadn't shown up tonight, I may never have found you."

"I had to wait until I got back on my feet before I could take him back."

"You're not taking him back."

"Tom, I'm his mother."

"And I'm his father." Tom clenched his teeth and forced himself to take a deep breath. "If you're so back on your feet, leave me your address and phone number and I'll have my lawyer contact you."

"Leave me yours." She challenged.

Tom reached for the pad of paper on the table and scribbled down his home number, his cell phone, his management number and his lawyer's office number. "You can call any of those numbers to reach me. Just tell them who you are." He continued to write down the addresses for his management team, his home address and his lawyer's office address. "You show up at any of those addresses or send anything to any of those and I'll get it." His lawyer had suggested he do this first thing, to stop all contact and to only go through the lawyers. He handed her the paper and handed the pencil to her.

She took it with a shaky hand and wrote out her phone number and her address in the corner. "There. That's where I'm staying."

"Great." Tom stuck it in his pocket and shook his head.

"You're really going to make this go to court?" She asked when she noticed the lawyers phone number and address on the paper.

"If you want to push it that far, yes." Tom nodded. "I'd rather not but it's all up to you."

"And you're saying I can't see Bradyn?"

"I'm saying you can't see him without supervision." Tom ran his hand over his face and tried not to yawn. The adrenaline surge he'd been riding for the past two hours was slowly diminishing leaving him exhausted.

"Please can I see him tonight?" Astrid asked as her tears overflowed onto her cheeks. "Please? I haven't seen him in so long."

"No, he's asleep." Tom shook his head. "You could have seen him if you tried. That was all on you. You're the only one who controlled if you saw him or not."

"Please, Tom? Please just let me see him sleeping. So I know he's okay."

"No." Tom stood up and for a split second a wave of guilt washed over him as he watched this so-called mother crying over her child. But the images of Bradyn crying for his mother, laying in his hospital bed, playing with his stuffed dog in the middle of sound cables during sound checks, curled up in the corner of the couch on the bus surrounded by the guys, clinging to Tom in the middle of a crowd. He pictured all of those and realized that she wasn't the kind of mother he wanted for Bradyn.

"Bradyn is fine. He's healthy and he's happy. He has everything he wants and he's being taken care of by people who love him very much. You don't need to worry about him. Right now he's sound asleep in a big warm bed with his stuffed guard dog and a caring adult in the bed next to him."

"I just want to see him."

"Then come back tomorrow for a supervised visit. I have free time between ten and one so choose an hour and come by then." He wasn't going to back down on that stipulation.

"You're serious about it being supervised?"

"Extremely." He nodded.

"Fine. I'll be back tomorrow." She stood up to face him. "I can't believe you'd keep him from me."

"Hmm, kind of like you kept him from me?" Tom tilted his head to the side. She snapped her mouth shut and stared at him as he walked past her to the door. "See you tomorrow." He held the door open as Tobi stepped to the side. He'd been waiting just outside the door in case he was needed. "Call me in the morning to let me know when you're coming."

"I- Wha- Do- Which phone number do I call?" Astrid stuttered as she stood up slowly.

"Either the hotel or my cell phone. Either one will get you directly to me." Tom's face was void of any expression as she stepped out into the hall.

Astrid turned to walk away then stopped and faced Tom again. "Did he- Has he asked for me- At all?" Astrid asked softly as a fresh course of tears rose in her eyes.

Tom considered lying to her and telling her no just to hurt her, to make her think her son had already forgotten her, but he couldn't. "Yes." Tom nodded. The look on her face showed that, no matter which response he'd given her, it would have hurt the same. Her son had cried for her and she wasn't there. Her face crumpled as she turned and walked down the hall with her head hung.

Tom sighed and glanced at Tobi before he shut the door and pressed his fisted hands over his eyes. He took two deep breaths to calm away the tears that suddenly threatened to overflow as his bottom lip quivered uncontrollably. Tom let out the last deep breath as his emotional armor broke and his tears burned paths down his cheeks. The wall behind him was the sturdy support he needed as he slid down to the floor with his hands still pressed against his eyes. Sobs overtook his body as Tom held his knees to his chest tightly. All of the emotion from the past few months crashed down on him and filled his heart with fear, frustration, love, confusion and sympathy.

He wiped at his eyes with the heel of his hand while he tried to regain his composure to keep his pride. He looked up suddenly and realized he was alone in his room and, no matter how much he cried or how loud he swore, no matter how hard he hit the mattress or fell to the floor, he was alone. He didn't have to prove himself to anyone and for the first time in years he allowed himself to completely wallow in self pity, beat the sense out of the mattress, have an all out temper tantrum before he fell asleep in his clothes on a tear dampened pillow.

----------------

Tom woke up the next morning feeling well rested and ready to deal with whatever came his way. It was after nine in the morning when he finally pulled himself out of bed with a feeling of guilt. Bradyn had been up for two hours down the hall in Tayla's room while he'd been snoring away in his king sized bed.

He rationalized to himself that she had told him to sleep in and not worry about it. He took a quick shower and dressed in jeans and a T-shirt before laying across his bed to call her room.

"Hello?" Tayla asked as she laughed hysterically into the phone.

"I guess I didn't wake you guys up." Tom smiled.

"No, we're up." She laughed and addressed Bradyn. "Time out. No more tickling me. Your Daddy is on the phone."

"Daddy hi?" Bradyn stopped tickling Tayla's sides for a second and scurried up to the head of the bed where she sat with the phone at her ear. Tayla held the phone out to him so he took it and held it to his ear. "Hi, Daddy! I pay."

"You're playing, huh?"

"An Tayla."

"With Tayla? Wicked. I have some breakfast here for you. Are you hungry?" Tom asked as the food service cart was wheeled in.

"Yeah."

"Cool. I'll be by in a second to get you."

"Kay." Bradyn handed the phone back to Tayla. "Daddy."

"Hi." She smiled into the phone. "So how'd it go?"

Tom sighed. "No one left in a body bag so I guess things went alright."

"Ouch."

"She's gonna come by to visit him today." Tom said softly.

"Oh." Tayla licked her lips quickly and smiled at Bradyn as he crawled across the bed to get Lello. "Sweetie, can you get your bag ready? Daddy is going to be here in a minute."

"Yeah." Bradyn laughed and slid off the bed.

"So she's coming here?"

"Yeah." Tom nodded.

"When?" Tayla didn't want to be nosy but, at the same time, she wanted to know.

"Um, I'm not sure. I told her I was free from ten until one and she could call to let me know when she'd be here." Tom shrugged. "But uh- I'll be down in a minute to get him. Is he dressed?"

"No, he's in his pajamas. The only clothes I had were what he wore last night and I figured you were going to bathe him anyway."

"Yeah." Tom nodded. "Okay, I'll see you in a few." He hung up and checked himself in the mirror quickly before trotting down the hall to Tayla's room.

When Tayla opened the door Bradyn rocketed into his arms and laughed. "I ticko."

"He was tickling me." Tayla translated.

"Uh oh. Is Tayla ticklish?"

"Yeah." Bradyn laughed.

"Where?" Tom whispered.

"On tummy."

"On her tummy, huh? What about her feet?"

"Yeah." Bradyn nodded.

"Okay, I'll have to remember that." Tom laughed and rested Bradyn on his hip. "Those are cool pajamas. How come you have 90 pair of pajamas and I don't have any?"

"I cool."

"Oh I see. You're cool so you get all the jammies?" Tom asked.

"And hair." Bradyn ran his hand over his head.

"You get the cool jammies and the cool hair?"

"Yeah." Bradyn laughed and bounced in Tom's arms.

"Thanks, Tayla. We'll see you later." Tom waved as he and Bradyn started down the hall discussing who was cool and who wasn't.

They sat at the little table together to eat breakfast while Tom skimmed his planner to double-check their flight information for Monday. He was looking forward to getting home, back to his own house with his own bed, his own clothes, his own dishes, his own everything. He smiled as he redecorated his second guest room into a toddler's room for Bradyn. It was the only other room on the second floor other than his office and he couldn't give up his office.

"No bass?"

"Hmm?" Tom shook his head into the present. "No, you have to take a bath."

"I eat."

"After you eat." Tom nodded.

By that time Tom knew the routine with kids. First the food, then the bath. He'd learned that after a week of nonstop baths. Tom waited until Bradyn was spending more time playing with his food than eating it. "Okay, let's get you in the bath so we can get things going."

"Daddy too?"

"No, just you." Tom shook his head. "I took my shower this morning before I came to get you."

"You keen?"

"Yeah." Tom laughed and took a bite of Bradyn's cold toast. "I'm clean."

"Kay." Bradyn sighed and stood up. Some scrambled eggs fell from his lap to the floor. "Jama off?"

"Yeah, take them off and I'll start the bath." Tom bent over to pick up the bits of egg and toast. He dropped them on the plate and brushed his hands on his pants. "Do you want your bath toys?"

"No." Bradyn shook his head and tugged at his pajama bottoms. "I get?"

"Oops. Let me get that. They're snapped to the top." Tom reached down and unsnapped the pants then let Bradyn finish undressing himself. It was a new independent task Bradyn had discovered. Tom turned on the bath water and let it run over his hand until the temperature was right.

"I go Goose-gog?" Bradyn asked as he dropped his pajama bottoms just outside the bathroom door and went to work on his top. "Ride?"

"Yeah, we're going to go ride with Gustav today I think."

"An Toke Hoh-tell?" Bradyn asked with a worried look.

Tom smiled. Bradyn hadn't gotten the fact that his buddies were Tokio Hotel so wherever they went he wanted Tokio Hotel to go too. "Gustav is Tokio Hotel and I'm Tokio Hotel."

"And Gay-og?"

"Georg too." Tom nodded. "And Bill."

"Unka Bill?" Bradyn laughed.

"Yeah." Tom helped him get his shirt over his head then tossed it out the door as well.

"No Unka Bill."

"Bill's not Tokio Hotel?"

"No." Bradyn shook his head.

"Then what is he?"

"Doe no." Bradyn shrugged.

"I don't know either." Tom laughed and took Bradyn's diaper off before shut off the water. "Okay, buddy, into the water."

"I sim?"

"No, the water is too shallow to swim in the tub."

"I ten?"

"You can pretend, yeah." Tom nodded and lifted Bradyn into the tub. He went to work soaping up a wash rag to clean breakfast off of Bradyn's face and hands. He stopped as he heard something in the other room.

"Two da ma-suuuue. Yonna whirl. Inna tie. Wain no her." Bradyn sang a medley of his favorite songs as he slapped the water with his hands.

"Just for a second, Bray. Shhhh." Tom held Bradyn's hands to keep him from splashing. The phone rang again in the other room. "Shit." He scooped Bradyn out of the tub and sat him on the thick bathroom mat as soap dripped down his arms. "Don't move." Tom shook his finger at Bradyn as he ran into the other room to catch the phone. "Hello?" He answered it on the third ring.

"Tom?" Astrid asked softly.

"Yeah?"

"It's, uh- It's Astrid. I just wanted to let you know that I want to come by this afternoon."

"Okay, what time?" Tom said after a moment's pause. The sound of his voice startled him into silence and he blushed as he remembered the scene in his room after she left.

"You said you were available between ten and one?"

"Yeah. What hour do you want to come?" Tom pulled the phone cord tight so that he could see into the bathroom. Bradyn was sitting on the bath mat scratching the bar of soap with his fingernails.

"Um, how about eleven?" She asked. Tom checked the clock and frowned. It was already after ten.

"That's fine." Tom mentally re-scheduled Bradyn's nap and lunch. "I'll see you then. I have to go."

"Wait. Where's Bradyn?"

"He's in the bathroom waiting to take his bath." Tom explained quickly. "I'll see you at eleven."

"Okay." Astrid said softly.

"If anything changes call me."

"Okay." She agreed.

Tom hung up the phone without saying goodbye. He ran back into the bathroom and scooped Bradyn up. "Okay, back in the tub." He plopped Bradyn back into the sudsy water and grabbed the big plastic cup. "Sorry about that. The phone was ringing."

"Was Unka Bill?"

"No, it wasn't Bill."

"Was Goose-gog?"

"No, not Gustav either." Tom shook his head and poured water down Bradyn's back. "It's a surprise."

"Was Lello?" Bradyn laughed.

"No, it wasn't Lello. Lello's a dog and he's in the backpack." Tom put a small amount of shampoo on Bradyn's head and used his fingers to work it through his hair. "Do you like your hair cut?"

"Tayla cut." Bradyn nodded.

"Yeah she did. It looks good."

"Like Goose-gog."

"It does kinda look like Gustav's hair." Tom smiled. "Maybe one time your hair will look like mine."

"No." Bradyn laughed as Tom rinsed his hair. "Is silly."

"You think my hair is silly."

"Unka Bill."

"Bill thinks my hair is silly?"

"Yeah." Bradyn laughed again and wiped his hands over his face. "Go boing!" Bradyn held his hands out around his head and made a crazy face.

"My hair does not go boing." Tom laughed and shook his head. "Bill has no room to talk. He used to look like a pineapple."

"Pie appo?"

"Yes. You tell him that next time you see him."

"In head?" Bradyn asked as he put his hand on his own head.

"Yeah, a pineapple on his head."

"No." Bradyn laughed and shook his head as Tom poured clean water over him again to rinse the soap.

"Yes. Ask him about that. You wanna talk about silly. That's just about the silliest thing I've ever seen."

"I see?"

"I'm sure I can find a picture for you."

"A pie appo?"

"I have a picture of Bill's hair when it looked like a pineapple, yeah." Tom laughed. "I'll have to find one later and show you. He looked pretty silly."

"Yeah." Bradyn nodded and stood up in the tub, using Tom's shoulders for balance. "I done?"

"Yeah, you're done." Tom lifted him out of the water and stood him on the soggy bathmat as he dried him off with the towel. "Okay, let's go get some clothes, Mr. Nakie."

"I do?"

"Yeah, you can do it. Go pick out some clothes to wear and socks."

"Suss?"

"And shoes, yeah." Tom nodded as he picked up the dishes from breakfast and set them on the room service tray. As he picked up the pieces of toast that had fallen to the floor he thought of Astrid and how she'd be coming over in less than an hour. A wave of nausea washed over him and he grabbed the side of the table to steady himself. He had no idea what to expect once she got there and he hated not being prepared.

"I have." Bradyn sighed from the bed.

"You, uh- You have it, huh?" Tom pushed the cart out into the hall. He sighed and went back to Bradyn. "Okay, let's get you dressed and ready."

"Have pass?"

"Pants? Yeah, let's put your pants on."

"Dipo."

"Diaper. Yeah, you have it." Tom reached for a clean diaper and lay Bradyn down on it. "Speaking of diapers, we're gonna have to do something about that."

"Dipo?"

"Yeah. Big guys pee in the toilet. Are you old enough to do that?" Tom asked not really expecting an answer.

"I big."

"Yeah, you're big. I'll have to find out if you're ready to ditch these yet though. Because honestly? These suck?"

"Dipo suck?"

"Yeah but don't say that." Tom pretended to smack his own mouth. "I shouldn't say that either." He pulled Bradyn into a standing position and held his pants out for him to step into.

"Go ride?" Bradyn asked as Tom clasped the straps into place.

"What?"

"Go ride now? He asked again. "Goose-gog?"

"You want to go ride with Gustav?"

"And pie appo."

Tom chuckled lightly. "No, you can't go with Gustav right now. You're going to have a visitor." Tom fastened the button of Bradyn's jeans.

"No, I ride." Bradyn frowned and moved his feet away from Tom's grasp.

"It'll have to be after your visitor." Tom grabbed his foot and pulled the sock straight.

"I go now."

"Not now, Bradyn. We'll go later if you're good."

"No, now." Bradyn's forehead creased and he glared up at Tom. "Go Goose-gog."

"Hey. Knock it off." Tom gave him a frustrated look and pulled his foot around to tug his little ankle boot on. "Let me get your shoes on. You're going to have a visitor in just a few minutes. After that we can get Gustav and then go to Universal."

"He gone?"

"He didn't go yet." Tom shook his head. "We're going to go when we're done here."

"No done." Bradyn scowled but held still for Tom to get his shoes on.

"How about if we watch Monster's Inc. while we wait?"

"Ride after?"

"Yes, we'll ride after the movie and after you have your visitor."

"Who?"

"It's a surprise but she'll be here in just a little bit." Tom checked his watch. It was twenty minutes until eleven so if things went as planned they could leave around noon, get lunch and a quick nap on the way to Universal Studios. They'd play around there for a few hours before Bradyn would be ready to go home.

"Kay." Bradyn sighed and scooted off the bed letting his heavy boots stomp on the floor. Tom had thought about telling Bradyn it was his mother that was coming but he wanted to see his initial reaction to seeing her again for the first time in four months. Part of him wanted Bradyn to be shy or upset or to somehow show his disapproval but another part of him knew that a child's bond with his mother couldn't be matched. That's what scared Tom the most.

"Where are you going?"

"Get Lello." Bradyn explained as he tried to unzip the backpack to get the dog out. The surfaced a minute later with the dog in his hand then scrambled onto the bed to sit by Tom. "Have."

"Okay good." Tom nodded and leaned back against the headboard as he turned the movie on. Bradyn sighed and slid back to sit beside Tom. He crossed his ankles and turned his attention to the TV at the far end of the room. "Are you tired?" Tom asked as Bradyn seemed to slide down a little more against the pillow.

"No." Bradyn shook his head but couldn't hide the tiny yawn that escaped.

----------------

Eleven came and went and Astrid still hadn't shown up. It was almost a quarter after twelve when there was a sharp knock on the door. Tom jumped off the bed carefully so not to wake up Bradyn who had dozed off shortly after the movie started. Bradyn's blanket had slid halfway to the floor so Tom lifted it up and piled it by Bradyn's feet, leaving some of it covering him even though it was warm out. Tom crossed the room reluctantly and pulled the door open while he tried his hardest not to be upset. "You're late." He debated not letting her in at all.

"You said to come between ten and one."

"And you said this morning you'd be here at eleven."

"Something came up." She raised an eyebrow at him and brushed by with Saki following a step behind.

"Something more important than your son?" Tom asked under his breath as she crossed the room to the bed.

"Aww. How long has he been asleep?"

"About an hour." Tom said as Saki assumed his position by the door. He was assigned to be the silent watchman for the visit in Tom's room.

"That's long enough. You can't let him sleep too long in the morning or he won't take an afternoon nap." Astrid sat on the bed beside Bradyn and placed her hand on his back. "Who is that?" She whispered as she cast a glance at Saki.

"That's Saki. He's supervising the visit." Tom said in a normal voice.

"Hmm." Astrid made a disapproving sound and picked Bradyn's limp body up from the bed. "Hey, Bray-Bray, look who's here." She smiled and cradled him against her shoulder. "Is he still sick? He feels warm." She looked back at Tom who stood frozen by the door.

"No, he's fine."

"It feels like he has a fever."

"He doesn't have a fever." Tom insisted. "He's been sleeping under his blanket so he's just warm."

"Bray-Bray, baby. Wake up, sweetie." She bounced him on her knees to try to wake him up.

If there was one thing Bradyn got from his father was his love for sleep and his hatred for being awakened. That was one of the first things Tom learned. "No go." Bradyn frowned but didn't open his eyes as he pushed her away.

"What's wrong with him?" She asked with a hint of concern.

"Nothing. He doesn't like to be woken up." Tom sighed.

"He needs to though." Astrid bounced him again.

"He only takes one nap a day with me and you're interrupting it."

"Well it's too early for a nap anyway."

"Around here he naps when he can." Tom leaned against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest.

She seemed to give up on waking him and turned to Tom. "So what happened? You said he was sick before?"

"He had meningitis." Tom nodded.

"Oh. That's bad."

"It can be, yes. But he's better now."

"Well, that's good." Astrid nodded and tickled Bradyn under his chin. "Come on, big boy. Wake up so Mommy can see you."

"No." Bradyn whined.

"Bradyn, sweetie, it's Mommy."

"Mommy?" Bradyn opened his eyes and yawned. "Hi."

"Hi, angel." She laughed and ran her hand over his hair. "You cut his hair?"

"Tayla did, yes." Tom nodded. "He likes it. It looks like Gustav's."

"Do you like your haircut?" Astrid looked at Bradyn as if she were counting all his toes and fingers, seeing him for the first time. "I can't believe how much you've grown. You're so tall."

"I big." Bradyn nodded and held his hands over his head.

"Yes, you are." Astrid laughed and nuzzled Bradyn's neck as he laughed softly.

Tom fought the urge to grab Bradyn away and hide him in a room far away. Watching Bradyn with Astrid was almost too much for Tom. He knew that Bradyn had a bond with her but seeing it in action was like a slap in the face.

"Have you had a good time with Tom and the other guys?"

"Yeah, I pay."

"You play with them, huh?"

"Yeah, Gay-og." Bradyn nodded.

"You play with Georg."

"And I by. No no." Bradyn shook his head and gave her a stern look.

"You what?"

"He bit Georg but that's a no-no." Tom said softly.

"Oh." Astrid nodded. "That's not very nice to bite people."

"He say NO!"

"I'll bet he did."

"And Unka Bill go." Bradyn made a scary face and pretended to claw Astrid's arm. "Is scare."

"That sure is scary." She gave Bradyn a wobbly smile. "You're talking a lot now. You're so smart."

"Goose-gog mar."

"Gustav is smart?"

"Yeah. And me."

"You too." Astrid nodded.

"Go ride now?" Bradyn asked as he looked at Tom.

Caught off guard, Tom cleared his throat and shook his head. "Not right now. Later."

"Later ride?"

"Yeah, we'll ride later." Tom nodded.

"Ride?" Astrid asked as she tore her eyes away from Bradyn.

"We're going with Gustav to go on some rides." Tom explained without saying exactly where they were going.

"What kind of rides? He's too little to go on rides, Tom."

"They're kid rides." Tom half squinted his eyes as his stomach clenched. He looked at Saki in the corner and took a deep breath. Saki leaned forward and his eyes asked if Tom was okay. Tom quickly raised his fingers in a partial wave toward Saki letting him know there was no trouble. He sat in the thick recliner chair by the balcony.

"Daddy go ou-side?" Bradyn squirmed down from Astrid's lap and ran over to Tom where he caught a whiff of Astrid's perfume lingering around Bradyn.

"No, not right now, buddy. You have a visitor."

"Is Mommy." Bradyn nodded.

"Yeah, that's your, uh- Your mommy." Tom turned Bradyn around and leaned to talk into his ear. He said the words he dreaded the most. "Go sit with her. She came here to see you."

"Mommy ou-side?" Bradyn asked as he stayed close to Tom.

"No, you need to stay inside." Tom shook his head. "Go say hi."

"I say."

"I know you said hi." Tom fought the irrational urge to laugh. "But go sit with her. She came here to see how big you are."

"I big." Bradyn turned around to face Tom.

"I know you are." Tom nodded. "Hey! I'll bet she hasn't seen Lello. Why don't you go find him and show her how cool he is?"

"I fie?"

"Yeah, go find Lello and show her." Tom gave him a gentle push toward the other bed.

"Mommy, Lello?"

"I'd love to see Lello." She said cautiously as she glanced around the room.

"Kay." Bradyn climbed onto the bed and dug around under his blanket until he found his floppy yellow dog. "Is Lello." Bradyn smiled and dropped the well loved stuffed animal in her lap.

"Oh wow. That's a cool doggie! Where did you get that?"

"Daddy."

"Oh r-really? Daddy gave that to you? That's cool."

"Actually I think Gustav gave that to him. We get so many stuffed animals and stuff you know so, since he didn't have any toys, Gustav found that for him when I was in Germany." Forming sentences suddenly became a chore for Tom.

"You went to Germany?"

"I was in Germany when you left him."

"Oh."

"Gustav watched him for a few days until I could come back."

"Oh." She blushed.

"Well, you know, it was either that or let the police take him to the children's receiving home. But Gustav didn't want to leave him in a foster home."

"I'm glad he didn't." Astrid said softly.

"Yeah. Me too." Tom stood up and walked over to the wide glass door leading to the balcony. He leaned against the glass and tuned out the sounds of Bradyn and Astrid talking about his dog as he tried to focus on the shoreline so far away.

Saki's watch gave three short beeps when the hour was up and Tom pulled himself away from the window as he stretched his arms. "What's that?" Astrid asked as she looked up at him. She and Bradyn were sitting on the floor with a handful of his cars on the ground between them.

"It's one."

She checked her watch and pushed herself up with the bed. "It hasn't been an hour."

"I told you I was available until one. It's not my fault you came at a quarter after twelve."

"Tom, you said I could visit for an hour."

"You said you were going to come at eleven. If you had shown up on time you would have gotten your hour. But it's one now and we have plans."

"I'll watch him for you. Whatever you have to go to, I'll stay here."

"No." Tom shook his head. "Bradyn's coming with me. He and I have plans."

She sighed deeply and looked at Saki by the door. "Can you guys at least walk me to the elevator?"

"Sure." Tom nodded as he bent to pick up Bradyn's cars. He dropped them into his backpack then took Bradyn's hand as they headed for the door. "Oh wait. You need a jacket."

"No code."

"It's not now but it might be later." Tom smiled and pulled Bradyn's dinosaur sweatshirt out of his suitcase.

"Rrraaar!" Bradyn growled.

"That's right." Tom nodded and grabbed a sweatshirt for himself. He sighed and reached for Bradyn's red backpack. He poured the contents onto the bed. He replaced a few of the cars, some diapers and wipes, Lello and the two sweatshirts before throwing it over his shoulder. He had learned to never leave the hotel without the necessities.

Astrid walked out into the hall with Bradyn in her arms to say good-bye by the elevators. Saki followed right beside her and he made sure there was another guard at the elevators to keep the place secure. As they neared the waiting area Tayla stepped out into the hall with her purse in one hand and a sweater in her other. She quickly pulled the door closed behind her. She glanced at her watch then made a face and hurried down the hall.

"Tayla!" Bradyn wiggled out of his mother's arms and took off down the hall.

"Bradyn!" Astrid shouted after him as she began down the hall after the little boy.

"Hi, handsome." Tayla caught him as he slammed into her legs and lifted him up for a kiss. She rested her forehead against his. "What are you doing out here? Where's Daddy?"

"Dere." Bradyn pointed toward the elevator area where Tom stood with a shocked and almost embarrassed expression on his face. "And Mommy." Bradyn said softly.

That's when Tayla noticed Astrid standing between her and Tom. "Oh, hi." She said as she bounced Bradyn on her hip as she adjusted her sweater over her arm.

"Hi." Astrid said without moving her lips.

"Hey, Tayla." Tom smiled as brushed past Astrid and wrapped his arm around Tayla. He brushed his lips against hers. "Are you ready to go?"

"Go?" Tayla whispered while Tom's head still blocked Astrid's view.

"Play along." Tom whispered and kissed her again as Bradyn laughed.

"Yeah, I'm ready. Are you guys ready?" She forced a smile and tickled Bradyn under his chin.

"I go ride!" Bradyn threw his arms over his head and laughed.

"We're done, right?" Tom asked as he looked over his shoulder at Astrid.

"I'd- I'd like to say goodbye." Astrid said as her ears turned pink.

"Oh, of course." Tayla knelt to put Bradyn back on the floor.

"Come here, baby. Let me say good-bye." Astrid's held out her arms.

"Bye." Bradyn waved then turned to Tom. "Go now?"

"Go say goodbye Bradyn." Tom took his hand and walked him over to where Astrid stood. He picked him up and put Bradyn in her arms, something he never thought he'd do.

"Bye-bye, sweetie. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" Astrid hugged him tight and kissed his cheek.

"We're busy tomorrow." Tom shook his head.

"I'd like to see him." Astrid met his eye. She let him know she wasn't kidding around.

"Our day is already planned." Tom shook his head. "We have a show tomorrow night in Orange County then we're driving down to San Diego."

"San Diego?" Astrid frowned as Bradyn squirmed out of her arms and stood between she and Tom. "When will you be back in LA?"

"I don't know." Tom shrugged. "Our tour wraps up in San Diego, then its back to Germany."

"Germany?!" Astrid's eyes flew open in surprise.

"Yeah, Germany. That's where I live." Tom gave her a peculiar look.

"You're going back to Germany?"

"Yeah." Tom nodded. "On Monday."

"Monday?" She seemed to gasp. "But- But what about Bradyn?"

"He's coming with me."

"To Germany?"

"Yes." Tom said slowly.

"You can't just take him to Germany." A small smile played at the corner of her mouth though Tom doubted she found this funny.

"That's the plan." Tom nodded and looked back at Tayla. "We can talk more later. I'm late."

"Tom, wait. You can't just take him to Germany." Astrid said a little louder than necessary.

"Astrid, I'm late. We can talk about this later." Tom picked Bradyn up and nodded toward the elevators as the door slid open. "Call me tomorrow."

"Tom, I-" She started to argue but Tom turned away and walked toward Tayla.

"Give me a call tomorrow." Tom repeated as she stepped onto the elevator. He waited until he heard the door slide shut before he let out the breath he was holding and turned to make sure she was gone. "Damn." He sighed.

"I really have to run." Tayla said softly as stood beside her. "I was supposed to meet with David like ten minutes ago."

"Yeah, yeah go." Tom nodded. "Sorry I made you late."

"You're okay?" Tayla asked.

"Yeah." Tom gave her a small smile as he leaned against the wall. "I'm cool."

"Okay." She gave him a weird look then turned and speed-walked down the hall to David's room.

Bradyn heaved a deep sigh and looked about as tired as Tom. "Daddy?"

"Yeah?" Tom asked as he leaned his head back against the wall.

Bradyn walked up next to him and leaned against the wall, imitating Tom by putting his arm over his head. He turned his head to face his dad and asked. "Ride now?"

Tom's smile began as a tickle on the side of his mouth and grew into a half smile that grew into a full grin and a laugh, "Yeah, let's go get Gustav and ride." He grabbed Bradyn under his arms and lifted him onto his shoulders. "Okay, which room is Gustav in?"

"Doe no." Bradyn shrugged.

"I think he's in this one. Let's see." Tom knocked on the door that he knew was Bill's and waited for his younger brother to open the door.

"Hey, guys." Bill yawned and leaned on the open door. "Wassup?"

"Pie appo!" Bradyn said as he laughed like a hyena from his perch on Tom's shoulders.

Bill squinted and looked up at the little boy. "Did he just call me a pineapple?" Bill smiled and shook his head. "What've you taught that kid?" He yawned and rested his head against the door.

"I haven't taught him anything, pineapple head." Tom laughed grabbed Bradyn's ankles. "We're going to Universal. Wanna come?"

"No." Bill yawned again.

"Rough night?"

"You have no idea." Bill let his eyes drift closed as he stood there.

"Well get back to bed and, for God sakes, brush your teeth."

"Bite me." Bill laughed and shut the door in Tom's face.

"No by." Bradyn said as they started down the hall.

"No, no biting."

"Pie appo by?"

"No, he better not." Tom shook his head.

"Kay Goose-gog." Bradyn bounced his hands on Tom's head as they continued down the hall.

"Okay. Gustav. I think this is it." Tom knocked on Gustav's door and waited for the older man to open the door.

"It's about time!" Gustav shouted as he pulled the door open and bounced out into the hall. "Hey, guys. Hi, Bradyn! Are you ready to go ride?"

"Yeah!" Bradyn shouted four inches from Tom's ear.

"Hey, buddy! No shouting." Tom shook his head.

"You wanna shout? Come on over here." Gustav reached up and took Bradyn off of Tom's shoulders and dropped him on his own. "I'm shorter, see? You'll have a lot less chance of running into a door or something."

"See." Bradyn nodded.

"Did you call up for a ride?"

"Saki set it up." Tom nodded.

"Sweet." Gustav hiked up his baggy shorts and held onto one of Bradyn's ankles the whole time.

"Where?" Bradyn asked as he pulled on Gustav's short straight hair.

"Where what?"

"Pie appo?" Bradyn asked as his tiny fingers tickled Gustav's ear.

"Pineapple?" Gustav looked at Tom confused. "What the hell?"

"I told him Bill used to look like a pineapple." Tom laughed. He was glad to be getting somewhat back to normal as he tried to put Astrid out of his mind.

"Classic. We should all start calling him that." Gustav laughed.

"No pie appo." Bradyn shook his head as he twirled his little fingers in Gustav's hair.

"No, there's no pineapple up in there." Gustav laughed. "But Bill is a pineapple, huh?"

"Yeah!" Bradyn shouted as he threw his hand in the air.

"So, how'd it go?" Gustav turned serious for a second.

Tom exhaled loudly and shook his head. "It went."

"That good, huh?"

"Well, she's pissed that we're leaving LA tomorrow and going back to Germany at the end of the week."

"Yeah, well, we were pissed that she left a kid with us." Gustav shrugged. "Shi- Crap happens."

"Yeah." Tom shrugged and looked up at Bradyn. "But it's all good now, right Bray? We're gonna go ride some rides and have fun tonight."

"Yeah." Bradyn laughed.

"So what if she-" Gustav started.

Tom held up his hand to shut Gustav up. "Let's just have fun today."

"Say no more." Gustav smiled as the three security guards joined them at the elevator and climbed on to start their trip to Universal. Tom tried as hard as he could to not think about Astrid but it was obvious to Gustav that she was still plaguing his mind with thoughts of worry and anger.

He let it go and they all had a blast at Universal Studios. They checked out the back lots, watched Jaws jump out of the water at them, laughed at street performers and bought some cheesy souvenirs for Bradyn. All in all, it turned out to be a good day.

----------------

The next morning as Tom packed up his room, he kept looking at his phone. He was sure Astrid would call before he left and demand to see Bradyn again or want to know where they would be staying in San Diego but the phone didn't ring once.

"Okay, Bradyn. You ready to go?" Tom tossed Bradyn's backpack over his shoulder and reached for the duffel bags.

"Yeah." Bradyn yawned.

"Okay, hold onto the bag strap right there." Tom nodded at the strap closest to his hand.

"Me up?"

"I can't hold you right now, Bray." Tom shook his head and adjusted the bags in his hands. "My hands are full."

"No bag."

"I can't leave the bags." Tom sighed but smiled at Bradyn's persistence. "Just hold onto the strap. Maybe Gustav or someone can carry you."

"No hole."

"Yeah, you need to hold on."

"Doe wan."

"Hey." Tom dropped the bags and gave Bradyn his stern fatherly look. "I know you don't want to but you have to hold onto the bags. We'll be on the bus in five minutes."

"No bus."

"Yes, bus." Tom sighed and picked up the bags again then headed for the door. Bradyn remained rooted to the floor. "Let's move it."

"I say."

"You want to stay here?" Tom tried not to smile. "Okay, I'll pick you up in a few months." He stepped out in the hall. He left Bradyn in the room as the door began to swing shut. Tom stopped the door with his foot as he heard Bradyn run toward the door.

"No!" Bradyn shouted as he ran into the hall. "No go."

"Yeah, we have to leave. You know that."

"I say."

"You can't stay." Tom sighed.

"And Pie appo?"

"Bill isn't staying."

"And Gay-og?"

"Georg isn't staying either. We're all going to get on the bus right now."

"Toke Hoh-tell say."

"No, Tokio Hotel isn't staying." Tom stood in the hallway and argued with Bradyn as the others made their way to the elevators.

"Tayla?"

"Tayla is already gone."

"Tayla bus?"

"You can't ride on her bus. Her bus is already gone. She's already there."

"I see?"

"Bradyn." Tom sighed and dropped one of his duffel bags at his side. "I'm not playing around, buddy. We have to go. Grab onto the straps and-" He stopped himself as a wave of fear washed over him. He'd lost Bradyn once in a hotel because he wasn't holding his hand and, right then, there were people all over the lobby wanting to snap a picture of him. Not to mention Astrid not wanting him to leave Los Angeles. "Shit." Tom grumbled under his breath. "Okay, come here." He picked Bradyn up with one arm and tried to carry both bags in one hand. It threw him completely off balance.

"Can say?"

"No, you're going with me but I'm going to carry you."

"I wak."

"You can't walk."

"I can."

"I know you can walk but, right now, I need to carry you to the bus so you don't get lost."

"Hole bag?"

"No." Tom sighed and dropped the bags by the elevator doors.

"Need some help, Tom?" Georg asked.

"Yeah, can you carry one of these?" Tom asked.

"You bet." Georg reached for Bradyn and tossed him in the air. "I'll take this one!"

"I meant one of the bags." Tom frowned.

"The bags weigh more than the kid." Georg laughed. "Hey, Bray. What's up?"

"Hi, Gay-og." Bradyn laughed and reached up and grabbed a handful of Georg's hair.

"Don't touch that. That's connected." Georg stopped Bradyn's hand and pretended to chew on his fingers.

"Yeah, I can't imagine where he learned to bite." Tom rolled his eyes and picked up the bags as they stepped onto the elevator.

"Bradyn? What do we think about biting?" Georg asked as he bounced the little boy on his hip.

"I fink no by."

"No biting?"

"No, hurts."

"Yeah, it hurts." Georg nodded. "Hurts like hell. And what happens if you bite me again?"

"Hit and you by."

Georg laughed. "Yeah, you'll get a spanking and I'll bite you right back."

"No, you won't." Tom shook his head and leaned against the far wall.

"If he bites me again, you bet your ass I'll bite him back. Two can play that game." Georg raised his eyebrow at Tom. "But we don't have to worry about that because no one's gonna bite anyone right?"

"Only by eat."

"Only bite what you eat. Got it." Georg nodded. "High five. Right here." He held out his hand for Bradyn to slap and laughed as they all filed off the elevator.

"Georg, be careful." Tom said as he walked closely behind him.

"I know how to walk."

"Just keep his head down and go right to the bus." Tom sighed and looked at the group of fans outside.

"I can sign a few autographs with my free hand." Georg said as the security guards pushed the doors open.

"Then give him to me and take one of the bags." Tom stopped and dropped the bags.

"Chill, Tom." Georg shook his head and tickled Bradyn's side as they walked toward the bus. Tom smiled at the fans and helped two crew guys load his bags into the underside of the bus. He adjusted his backpack and walked over to Georg.

"Hey, how's it going?" Tom smiled for the fans and reached to take Bradyn from him. "Time to go inside, buddy."

"Go bye?" Bradyn asked.

"Yeah."

"And Gay-og?"

"Yeah, Georg too." Tom tapped Georg on the shoulder and nodded toward the bus. "Let's go."

"Mobe it." Bradyn laughed and the small crowd joined in.

"Let's go." Tom's face broke out in a smile as he waved to the fans and hopped up onto the bus.

"Gay-og say?"

"We're not going to leave without Georg."

"We might if he doesn't get his ass up in here." Gustav mumbled as he sat on the couch and swung his legs out in front of him.

"Tobi's on his case." Bill laughed as he moved the curtain aside and saw the guard literally pulling Georg away from the fans.

"Okay! I'm coming." Georg laughed as he jumped onto the bus. "What's the hold up? Let's go." He dropped himself into the recliner chair and looked around at the other guys, "We're late you know." He leaned his head back and closed his eyes with a smile on his face.

"He seepin." Bradyn sighed and shook his head. "Is nap?"

"Georg takes a lot of naps." Bill nodded as he headed for the back of the bus. "Come on, Bray. Let's go play Land Before Time. I'm gonna kick your butt."

"No I kick, Pie appo."

"Yeah, you think so- What?!" Bill looked at Tom quickly. "Is he seriously gonna call me pineapple?"

Tom nodded his head and kept a straight face. "Yes, Pineapple. He is."

Bill pouted. "I'm not a pineapple. We're gonna go play. Call us for snacks." Bill smiled as he and Bradyn disappeared into the back of the bus.

"Have fun, Pineapple." Gustav laughed and shook his head as he and Tom climbed into their separate bunks to relax for the duration of the short ride.

<----------------

When they arrived in Anaheim they were greeted by the usual mass of fans and a few local reporters. As they stepped off the bus, flashes went off left and right and the screams went up a notch. Tom carried Bradyn on his shoulder with the hood of his sweatshirt up over his head to try to shield him as much as he could.

"Oh my God! Bill!"

"Is Bradyn's mother with you?"

"Georg! Look over here!"

"Smile! Smile over here!"

"How do you feel about his mother being found?"

"Gustav! Ahhhh! Oh my God! Gustav!"

"Wait, what did she say?" Tom slowed down a second and gave Gustav a look.

"Something like 'Aaahhh! Gustav! Aaaaah!' That? Or did you mean something else?" Gustav laughed and continued walking into the hotel.

"About Bradyn?" Tom frowned and hopped up the two shallow steps with his security guard at his side.

"I didn't hear anything." Gustav shrugged and ran ahead.

"Tom, now that his mother is back, will we be able to meet her?" The final question followed Tom into the lobby and took him completely by surprise.

Gustav turned to see if Tom had caught what the reporter said. "Tom?"

"Yeah." Tom nodded as he answered Gustav's unasked question. "Is David here yet?"

"He's in his room."

"Where's that?" Tom asked. He kept his eyes on the elevators at the other end of the lobby.

"I don't know." Gustav looked to the security guards that flanked them. "We need to go to David's room."

"You got it." Saki nodded and held the elevator door open. They rode up to the twelfth floor where Gustav headed to his room and Tom went down to David's room.

"Can you take him for a few minutes?" Tom asked as he looked at Bradyn.

"Just a few minutes?" Saki asked as he took Bradyn from him.

"Yeah. I just have to talk to David for a second." Tom nodded then smiled at Bradyn. "Can you show Saki your new book?"

"Yeah." Bradyn sighed and smiled up at Saki. "See book?"

"Sure, I'll look at your book. Come over here." Saki jerked his head toward the end of the hall where a large window let the sun in.

Tom watched them sit on the floor then knocked loudly on the door in front of him. David pulled the door open and before Tom could say anything David said. "We need to talk."

"Yeah, you could say that." Tom nodded as he stepped into the room and shut the door. "What the hell was that?" He dropped himself into the nearest chair and looked up at David.

"She went to the press."

"She what?!" Tom raised his voice as he balled his hands into fists at his sides..

"Well, now, we don't know it was her. An 'unnamed source' has leaked to the press that Bradyn's mother is back in the picture now and they're eating it up." David said calmly.

"Damn it!" Tom fell back in his seat and pressed his hands over his eyes. "What else can she toss at me? I swear, I feel like I'm just running in place here."

"This isn't that bad, Tom." David shook his head. "All things considered. You took it public that you were looking for her. She took it public that she was found."

"She wasn't found. She strutted right back in." Tom sighed.

"Same thing."

"So how's this going to affect anything else?"

"It's not. You know the media though. The fact that you had a child out of wedlock and the mom was nowhere to be found was a big deal. Now that the mom is back they're going to be looking at your reaction towards her."

"Which means I have to be professional about it." Tom rolled his eyes.

"Exactly." David nodded. "No bad mouthing her. No saying that she won't be able to see him. Nothing like that."

"I just have to say 'no comment' over and over?"

"You can say what you want, Tom. I'm just saying that, from a business point of view, you want to say as little as possible. If anything ever comes of this, you're going to want to really watch what you say."

"What's she said so far?" Tom sighed and tugged at his lip.

"She hasn't said anything. The 'unnamed source' has said that Bradyn's mother hopes to re-establish a relationship with both you and her son."

"Dream the fuck on." Tom laughed out loud. "Wrong."

"I think she just means that she'd like to be on talking terms."

"I don't care what she means. Ugh! David, really? I know that her life may have been hard or shitty or whatever and I'm sorry for that. She could have told me about Bradyn to start with and you know I would have helped both her and the kid. Even if we didn't get married or whatever, I'd have made sure they were taken care of. She wanted to do this on her own. That was her decision."

"I know."

"So when it got too hard she wanted to leave him with me, which I probably could have handled if she came up to me and told me what she was doing and why and all that but just dropping him in the lobby of the hotel? That's messed up. I wouldn't leave my dog with a stranger. Let alone a kid."

"She knew who Gustav was."

"Yeah but she didn't know him. It's not like we'd publicly announce that Gustav was a child abuser or anything. He could be this drunk drug addict who got off on hurting kids in his spare time but because our PR team portrayed him as this clean cut nice guy she thought she knew him."

"Gustav is-"

"No, I know Gustav isn't a child abuser. Shit, he's better with Bradyn than I am. I'm just saying, she had no idea. Hell she had no idea if I was a drug addict or whatever. That's just stupid."

"I'm not gonna sit here and argue with you about this, Tom."

"Because I'm right." Tom sighed.

"Because it's not worth the fight." David raised his eyebrow. "I just wanted you to be aware that the media was sniffing around wondering who this elusive mother is."

Tom was silent for a minute. "You think I should work with her on this?" David didn't answer him. He just reached into his briefcase for his glasses. "You think I should wipe her slate clean and start from scratch? Arrange some kind of joint custody thing? Bend over backwards to accommodate her?"

"I think you need to work with her, Tom. She's going to be in your life from now on and it would be better if you didn't hate each other."

"I don't hate her." Tom wasn't going to convince anyone with that tone.

"You know what I mean."

"She didn't accommodate me for the first two years." Tom pointed out.

"She made a mistake."

"So maybe this is a mistake. This will be my mistake. She's had hers. Let me have mine."

"Two wrongs don't make a right."

"No, but it might make me feel better." Tom uttered under his breath.

"This isn't about you anymore, Tom. It's about Bradyn." David pointed out.

"He's the only one I'm thinking about here. She can't handle him? Fine. I will." Tom stood up and opened the door of the tiny office. "Thanks for letting me know. I'll be sure to keep my mouth shut." He let the door slam behind him as he stomped down the hall to collect Bradyn.

Tom thanked Saki and took Bradyn down to their new room. "Anano boo?"

"Hmm?" Tom asked distractedly as he dropped Bradyn's bag on the bed.

"Anano boo."

"Ana- What?" Tom gave Bradyn a look then fell across the bed so he was eye to eye with Bradyn as he stood by the door.

"Boo." Bradyn patted the bedspread.

"Oh. Blue?" Tom tilted his head to the side and looked at the blue and beige room.

"Yeah, anano."

"I don't know what you mean buddy."

"Kay." Bradyn sighed and laid his head on the bed by Tom's. "We sim?"

"We can't go swimming right now. We need to go get some lunch then go to the venue. You get to hang out with us there tonight. Is that cool?"

"Cool." Bradyn nodded.

"I'm sorry this sucks for you." Tom sighed and rested his chin in his hand. "Just wait till we get home. We're going to have so much fun. You're going to have your own room and a play set thing in the backyard and all kinds of fun stuff."

"Go soppin."

"Yeah, you'll be able to go to shopping with me and everything." Tom smiled. "Only a few more days."

"Kay." Bradyn nodded as if he understood.

"Why don't I go get a bath started and you can take a bubble bath. How does that sound?" Tom asked as he looked at his watch. It was a little after ten in the morning. They had a few hours to kill.

"You too?"

"You want me in the bath too? I don't think so." Tom shook his head as he pushed himself up from the bed.

"Pay bubbles?"

"I'll play with the bubbles with you." Tom nodded. "But I'm not getting in there with you." He laughed and went into the bathroom to start the water.

Tom poured in more bubbles than necessary and plopped Bradyn down in the middle of them. They threw bubbles at each other and made designs on the tub walls. Tom gave Bradyn a big clown hair-do with bubbles. "You're silly."

"No you!" Bradyn laughed.

"You should see yourself. You have bubble hair out to here." Tom laughed at the sight as he held his hands out to show how big Bradyn's bubble hair was.

"I see?"

"Sure, hang on." Tom stood up and carefully grabbed Bradyn under his slippery shoulders. He lifted him high enough to see his reflection in the mirror.

"Is silly!" Bradyn laughed and reached to touch his bubble hair. "Boing!"

"Yeah." Tom chuckled under his breath. "Your hair is going boing."

"An you?"

"My hair does not go boing." Tom smiled and shook his head as he sat Bradyn back in the tub.

"Yes." Bradyn sighed. "It boing."

"Okay, that's about enough fooling around." Tom changed the subject. "We have to get ready to go. I have a show to do." He used a big cup and rinsed as many bubbles as he could off of Bradyn then flipped the switch to let the tub drain. "Do you want to wear your sweatshirt tonight? Or the one with the big pocket?"

"Yeah." Bradyn yawned as Tom wrapped him in a towel and carried him to the other room.

"Good choice." Tom pulled Bradyn's clothes out of the little suitcase and looked around for his sneakers. "Where are your shoes?"

"Here."

"No your black and white ones?"

"Doe no." Bradyn shrugged.

"Those don't match."

"Is suss." Bradyn said as he swung the red and blue shoe by the shoelaces.

"Yeah, it's a shoe but it doesn't match what you're wearing." Tom tried to explain. He looked at his son as he walked around the room naked with shoes dangling from his hands. He was doing a funky little dance as the towel he was covered in fell to the floor. "Then again I guess it doesn't really matter if your shoes match, huh? You're two."

"I two." Bradyn nodded.

"Right. Maybe when you get old like me you'll care if your shoes match." Tom laughed. "Come on, let's get you dressed."

He got Bradyn dressed and packed up to go. He met up with the others to go out to the buses. They had an hour to get to the venue to do their sound checks and meet and greet. Bradyn was going to have to hang out backstage for the show while Tayla fielded calls from designers and helped coordinate colors with other presenters at several awards shows that they would be presenting at in the next year.

Tom frowned and kept his head down as they walked through the lobby and out to the circular driveway. "Daddy bus?"

"Yeah, we get to ride the bus." Tom nodded and kept his eyes on the bus door so he could try to block out the crowd around him.

"Tom! Is it true that Bradyn's mother is seeking custody?" A reporter asked as he stepped off the red curb toward the awaiting bus.

Any other time Tom would have brushed by and pretended he hadn't heard the question but, for that one, he stopped and surprised his security team. "Hey, Gustav? Take him up?" He handed Bradyn to Gustav as he passed and turned to look at the reporters, "I can't comment for Bradyn's mother but, as of right now, he will remain in my care or under the supervision of his current caregiver on tour with us."

"Are you saying that there are legal proceedings in the works?"

"Not that I know of." Tom shook his head as his heart skipped a beat. "This is a personal and private matter and I would appreciate it if you let us sort this out on our own. I wouldn't come to your work asking you about your personal life. I'd appreciate the same respect. Thank you." Without giving them the time to respond, Tom turned and hopped onto the bus with Bill only a step behind.

The guys played their show at the Arrowhead Pond as Bradyn watched from the sidelines with his tiny earplugs in place. Tayla stood with him and danced with him just out of the audience's view but where the guys could easily see if the stepped back far enough. Between songs when they would disappear from stage they would make a point to run by on their way on or off the stage, depending on their exit, and say hi.

Bradyn was wired during the show and clapped wildly each time the fireworks went off or fire flew from the stage. "Wow!" He shouted with every new effect he saw. "I go?" Bradyn pointed toward the stage.

"No." Tayla shook her head. "You can go tomorrow during the day." She shouted to be heard over the screams. Bradyn nodded and turned his attention back to the stage as he laughed and bounced in Tayla's arms.

When the show was over they were hustled immediately back to the hotel to get ready for the drive the next morning. Tayla went to her room after a quick good-night to Bradyn in the hall as he slept in Tom's arms. "I'll see you tomorrow." She said softly.

"G'night, Tayla." Tom whispered as Bradyn squirmed in his arms. "See ya." He waved with his free hand and let himself into his room.

Tayla yawned but didn't dare to look at the clock as she fell onto her bed. She knew it was late and she knew that five thirty was going to come faster than she wanted. Tayla tossed her room key and badges toward the table before she fell asleep in her clothes on top of her blankets.

----------------

They spent the night in Anaheim then left early the next morning for San Diego. Tom kept his cell phone on and within reach constantly. He just waited to hear from Astrid. He decided that if he hadn't heard from her by that night, he'd swallow his pride and call her himself.

Bradyn tagged along with the guys through their appearances in San Diego which included a stop at a radio station and a visit to the local Children's Hospital. While they were at the hospital Bradyn stayed in the lobby with two of the security guards. Tom didn't want to take any chances with Bradyn's health and certainly didn't want him to freak out if he saw a doctor.

"I see no." Bradyn shook his head as Tom picked him up from the hard plastic chair on their way out the door. The security team escorted them out to the awaiting vans to take them to lunch downtown.

"You see no what?"

"No docka."

"No doctors?" Tom asked.

"Yeah." Bradyn sighed as Tom strapped him into his seat.

"No, you're a healthy little boy." Tom smiled and sat back in his seat as they left the parking lot. "Healthy kids don't usually have to see the doctor."

"No lie."

"You don't like doctors?"

"No." Bradyn shook his head.

"The doctors made you better though. Doctors are important. They make sure that you feel better when you hurt yourself."

"Ow ina hand." Bradyn clasped his hands in front of him.

"They had to give you medicine that way to make you all better." Tom tried to explain.

"Doctors are cool." Gustav nodded from the front seat. He leaned back and looked at Bradyn. "Doctors rock."

"No, ow."

"If they didn't give you a shot then you might get really really sick." Gustav sighed and pursed his lips. "If you got sick you couldn't see Lello or Bill or me or Daddy or Georg any more."

Bradyn pondered that for a minute. "I sick?"

"No, you're not sick. But if you get sick then the doctors can make you better."

"I betto an see Lello?"

"If you're better you can see Lello, yeah." Gustav nodded.

"An Pie appo?"

"Yeah." Tom smiled and pat his arm.

"An Toke Hoh-tell?"

Tom and Gustav laughed. "Yeah, if you're better you can see Tokio Hotel." Tom rubbed his hand over Bradyn's hair.

"An Mommy?" Bradyn asked a minute later.

Gustav raised his eyebrows and turned around in his seat. He didn't even want to start that line of conversation. Tom cleared his throat quickly. "Yeah. The doctors make you better so you can see Mommy too."

"I see now?"

"You want to see her now?" Tom asked softly.

"Yeah." Bradyn nodded and reached down to pull at his shoes. "Off?"

"No, you have to leave your shoes on. We're going to get out in a minute." Tom said as he pulled Bradyn's hand back. "You can't see your Mommy right now. She's not here. But, uh- I'll call her later, okay?"

"Kay." Bradyn nodded and looked out the window. "A twuck!" He pointed at a huge eighteen-wheeler, forgetting all about his mother.

"You're gonna call her?" Gustav asked softly.

"I haven't heard from her since LA. If she doesn't call by the time we have to go to the venue I'm going to call to see what's going on."

"You're asking for trouble." Gustav shook his head.

"I'm doing what's right. Whether I like it or not." Tom shrugged. He only had to convince himself of that.

----------------

By three that afternoon, Astrid still hadn't called and they had to be downstairs in twenty minutes. Tom watched intently as Bradyn made his T-Rex growl and claw his way up the side of the couch as he held his phone in his hand. He didn't want to call her but he knew he had to. He had to be the grown up in this situation and show her that he was going to work with her no matter what. If she wasn't going to take the initiative, he would.

Tom dialed her number before he could change his mind and sighed as he listened to it ring once. "Yeah?" A girl answered gruffly. She didn't sound like Astrid and Tom debated hanging up in her ear.

"Uh- Hi. Is Astrid there?" Tom asked softly.

"Speak up! I can't hear you." The girl said.

"Is Astrid there?" Tom repeated, a little louder.

"No, she's not here."

"Okay, can you have her call me? This is-"

"Yeah, I'll tell her to call. She has your number right?" She cut him off.

"Y-yeah, she has my number. This is-" Tom started to identify himself again but was cut off as she hung up the phone.

"She has fantastic manners." Tom sighed and rolled his eyes. "Okay, Bradyn. Let's get your stuff together."

"I go?"

"Yep, we're going."

"Go see?"

"We're going to go see Tayla."

"Again?"

"Yeah, again." He nodded. "She has your fuzzy blanket."

"Kay."

"Then we'll go to the show."

"I say?"

"No, you can go." Tom dropped a few cars into Bradyn's backpack as well as two clean diapers and wipes.

"No, I say. An Tayla."

"I don't think Tayla is staying. I think she's going to the show too." Tom shook his head. "And besides, you always stay with Tayla. I think you'll have fun at the show."

"No." Bradyn shook his head and smiled up at Tom. "I say an seep."

Tom laughed. "We'll see."

"See." Bradyn nodded. "We go." He headed for the door as Tom laughed. Bradyn was talking so much more and, compared to even just a few weeks before, he was so much surer of himself.

"Okay." Tom smiled and picked up the backpack then took Bradyn's hand. "Lead the way."

They walked down to Tayla's room to collect his blanket before they went to the show. Bradyn knocked softly from knee height while Tom knocked louder and higher. "Hey, guys, come in. I'm right in the middle of sorting this stuff out." Tayla held the door open as they walked in. She went back to her bed where there were three piles of clothes.

"What are those?"

"Yes, no and maybe." She indicated each pile. "It's stuff for those two awards shows you'll be doing on your break. Which kinda denotes the whole purpose of the break but whatever."

"Okay. Need some help?" Tom asked.

"No, I've got it." Tayla smiled and brushed her hair behind her ear. Tom followed Bradyn over to the window where the little boy was pressing his face against the glass.

"I tall."

"Yeah, you look pretty tall up here, huh?" Tom asked softly. "I don't want to keep you from this really exciting looking work." He laughed easily. "We just need to get Bradyn's blanket and I think he left it here."

"Yeah. It's right over there on top of my suitcase." Tayla nodded toward the closet. "I was going to send it along with one of the crew guys."

"You're not going tonight?"

"To the venue? No." She shook her head. "I was there earlier and everything set up and ready to go. I have to finish sorting these clothes then I have some serious infomercial watching time coming to me."

"That sounds like a ton of fun." Tom smiled broadly.

"Do you want to leave Bradyn with me tonight?"

Tom stared out the window for another second before he turned to face her. "Would you?"

"Sure." She said softly.

"He asked if he could stay with you, you know?"

"He did?"

"Yeah. I told him he was going to come hang out at the show and he was all, 'No, I stay with Tayla.' It was cute."

"That's cool." Tayla blushed quickly and looked over at Bradyn.

"I know that the last few shows are just a bunch of parties and stuff. If you want to go just let me know." He shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

"No, I'm not a big party animal." Tayla scrunched her nose at the thought.

"I just don't think I'd be able to keep an eye on him very well and it goes kind of late and stuff."

"It's okay."

"But, I mean, that's what being a parent is all about, right? Making sacrifices? Coming home early? Not going to parties?"

"Yeah." She shrugged. She realized that's what she had been doing for the past four months.

"I'll be back as soon as the show is over." Tom said quickly. "I haven't heard from Astrid since we were in LA and I kinda-" He sighed. "I mean, not that I want to hear from her but, at the same time, it kinda worries me, you know? I'd feel better if I knew where she was or what she was thinking. I don't want her to think she can just drop in every few months to say hi."

"Have you tried calling her?" Tayla bit the inside of her cheek as the words left her mouth.

"Yeah. Some other girl answered and I guess took a message but she didn't get my name so-" Tom shrugged and sighed deeply. "She called the press, you know?"

"She did what?"

"Astrid? She called the press."

"You're kidding."

"You've seen how crazy they've been over the last few days, right?"

"I just thought that was because the tour was- She really went to the press?"

"How else did they find out that his mom had shown up again? That's why they're trying to get more pictures. They're speculating about almost everyone who walks into the hotel. It's sick, really."

"Damn."

"Yeah, which is just another reason why I don't want him out and about. This is going to suck for him."

"Well, you can't keep him cooped up forever."

"Why not?" Tom laughed.

"Because that would be child abuse." Tayla smiled. "You'd better get going."

"Yeah."

"I'll see you after the show."

"Right after."

"Take your time. We'll have a little party of our own right here." Tayla looked across the room to where Bradyn and Elmo were laying on the bed reading a book together.

"Thanks." Tom smiled and cast one last glance at Bradyn. "Bye." He ducked out the door quickly before he could convince himself to stay any longer.

It was getting harder and harder for Tom to leave Bradyn, even if It was only for a couple hours. He trusted Bradyn with Tayla more than anyone else but he still felt like he should be the one taking care of his son. He just wanted to get through the next two shows and get back home to Germany where he and Bradyn could get into the normal lifestyle and spend quality time together.

----------------

Bill's girlfriend Nadiehn arrived at the venue more than halfway through the show and wandered around the backstage area looking for Bradyn and Tayla. No one seemed to know where they were they were so she made herself comfortable in the wings and watched the show from there.

When the show was over Bill was the first out of the dressing room. "Hey you!" He walked up to Nadiehn and threw his arms around her. "Let's get out of here before the traffic is crazy."

"The traffic will already be crazy."

"No, the lights are still down. We have about two more minutes." Bill laughed and pulled her hand as they ran for the exit.

"So how come Tayla isn't here with Bradyn? I've looked all over for them." Nadiehn said as she and Bill slid into the backseat of the van to go back to the hotel.

"Bradyn's mom showed up the other day and the media has gone ballistic."

"How'd the press find out? I mean, he's kept this whole thing pretty quiet." Nadiehn frowned.

"Yeah, I'll give you two guesses how they found out." He rolled his eyes.

"She did not." Nadiehn shook her head in disbelief. "You've got to be kidding. That girl took it to the media?"

"Yeah." Bill nodded. "Well, no. I can't say that. I mean, we don't know for sure. She hasn't said anything about it or anything but somehow or another it was leaked that Bradyn's mom has danced back into the picture."

"Jesus." She shook her head. "What does Tom say about this?"

"He's been amazingly calm believe it or not." Bill smiled. "All he said was that Bradyn would have to stay indoors for a little while until things settled down."

"I'd be livid."

"He is livid. Deep inside I know he's about ready to blow up but, really Nay, you should have seen him in action. It was awesome." Bill shook his head and laughed lightly. "He was all, 'I have no comment about that at this time and my son will remain under constant care and supervision of either myself or his current care giver.' It was smooth."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"How's Tayla taking it?"

"Tayla is, uh- Well, she's fine I guess." He shrugged. "She's being quiet about it but she has a harder time hiding her true feelings, I think."

"Yeah, I'll bet." Nadiehn smiled as one of the security guards slid the door shut and they headed back to the hotel. "We'll definitely have to spend the day at the spa tomorrow."

"All day?" Bill whined softly.

"Not all day but a good portion. She needs to vent and talk girl talk." Nadiehn laughed. "Trust me. You'll be better off."

"Okay." Bill sighed. "I guess I've just volunteered to watch Bradyn, huh?"

"Why? Where's Tom going?" Nadiehn asked.

"He's meeting with our PR people and management and lawyers and stuff."

"Lawyers?"

"It's just a precautionary thing, you know. Now that Bradyn's mom is around that opens up a bunch of doors. I mean, there's custody and visitation and criminal charges, all that. He just wants to make sure he's covering his own ass, you know?"

"Yeah, that's just scary though."

"Yeah." Bill yawned and rested his head on Nadiehn's shoulder. "But I'm sure you'll hear all about it tomorrow at the spa while you get your feet waxed or whatever."

"Feet waxing?" Nadiehn laughed. "Seriously, Bill?"

Bill smiled and kissed her quickly. "Whatever you girls do there."

"Like you're not girly, Mr. Eyeliner Man." Nadiehn cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Just because I wear make-up doesn't mean I'm a girl." Bill smirked. "When we have kids I'll be the one supporting you."

Nadiehn froze for a second then nodded slightly. "Yeah." She managed as they pulled onto the freeway.

They rode the rest of the way in silence and didn't say another word until they were in their room at the hotel. By then, Bill was off on a side topic and talking passionately about a new artist he was going to check out on their break from the tour.

----------------

The wake up call rang through Tayla's room at eight fifteen in the morning and she grudgingly rolled out of her warm bed. She pulled the curtains aside to let in the sun before she hobbled to the bathroom to take a shower and wake up a little more. She dried and dressed herself before throwing her hair into a loose ponytail.

When Tom picked Bradyn up the night before, he asked if she could watch him the whole day and she, of course, said yes. He looked like he was dreading whatever it was he had to do so the least she could do was watch Bradyn. That would be one less thing for him to worry about. She checked her watch as she brushed her teeth and picked up the pace a bit. He would be there at any minute.

Tayla looked her room over to be sure she had picked up anything breakable or hazardous to a two year old. Her irons and spray starches were put away. The new clothes were on racks and her own stuff was packed up in her suitcase in the closet.

Tom knocked on the door as she was checking the sliding glass door to make sure it was locked. Bradyn had found out how to open them if they weren't locked and she didn't feel like having a heart attack that afternoon.

"Hi, guys!" She said cheerfully as she opened the door.

"Hi!" Bradyn screeched as he wiggled to get out of Tom's arms. Bradyn ran over to Tayla and quickly squeezed her knees. He went immediately for the sliding glass door. He pulled the curtains back and reached for the handle.

"It's locked." Tayla said softly as Tom made a move to intercept Bradyn's hand. "He can't get it open."

"I don't know when he started that but I almost died when I saw him out on the balcony the other night." He shook his head.

"Two year olds are smarter than we give them credit for." Tayla laughed.

"Yeah they are." Tom smiled and ran his hands through his hair. "I'm sorry to keep dumping him on you."

"It's okay." She nodded and watched Bradyn place his hands flat on the glass door to try to slide it open. She was getting used to having Bradyn every day so it didn't feel like a chore.

"I'll make it up to you one of these days. I promise. As soon as I get all my crap in order."

"I'll remember that." Tayla laughed and looked at Tom closely. "What are you doing today? You're all dressed up."

"I'm not dressed up."

"Your shirt has buttons and you're not wearing sneakers. You're dressed up."

"I'm meeting with some lawyers today."

"What? Why?"

"Just to talk about how this is going to work." Tom nodded at Bradyn. "I'm also meeting with our publicist, the management team and all kinds of people. It's going to be a long day."

"Sounds like it." Tayla nodded. "You look weird." She creased her brow as she looked closely.

"I'm nervous." He gave a short laugh. "This is new for me."

"I don't think I've ever seen you nervous before." Tayla smiled and tilted her head.

"No, probably not." Tom quickly turned his wrist to check the time. "I have to go."

"Okay. Say bye, Bradyn."

"Bye, Daddy."

"See you later." Tom smiled and kissed Bradyn's cheek before ducking out the door.

Bradyn sighed and looked up at Tayla as the door slammed shut. "Daddy go."

"Yeah, he'll be back later though. We're going to hang out today. Does that sound like fun?" Tayla asked. She knew he had to be getting tired of playing in a hotel room with her. He needed other kids to play with and not just childish adults. He needed other two and three year olds to interact with.

"Yeah." Bradyn nodded. "Is fun."

"Cool."

"Ona bus?"

"You want to go to the bus?"

"No." Bradyn shook his head and sighed again as he dropped to the floor to open his backpack.

"We'll have to find something new for us to do today." Tayla sat on the floor across from him and pulled some matchbox cars out of his backpack.

"Lello get agator." Bradyn picked up his floppy dog and walked to the far end of the room.

"Oh, of course! Lello can help us find more alligators. That's a great idea buddy." Tayla smiled as the phone behind her rang. "Hang on." She scooted over to the nightstand and lifted the phone off the receiver. "Hello?"

"Miss Tayla!" Kala sang into the phone.

"Kala! You're here!" Tayla laughed, "No no, sweetie. Lello doesn't use the people toilet. He uses the puppy box." Tayla said to Bradyn just before he dunked his dog in the bowl.

"Yeah, I'm here and Georg told me that you and Nadiehn were going to the spa."

"Oh yeah." Tayla cringed as she watched Bradyn slam the lid to the toilet shut. "Out of the bathroom, Bray. Come on." She shook her head and waved for Bradyn to come out.

"I pay." Bradyn frowned.

"Not in the bathroom." Tayla shook her head. "Here. I have some new key chains for your backpack." She tossed two plastic key chains on the bed by his bag and smiled. "Sorry." She sighed into the phone.

"It's okay." Kala laughed lightly. "So what do you say? Let's go get pampered."

"I have Bradyn." Tayla made a face and tried not to think about the mud mask and massage she'd be missing.

"Bill and Georg have been volunteered to watch him." Kala shrugged as she rested the phone between her shoulder and ear. "Right, Georg?"

"What?"

"You and Bill will watch Bradyn so Tayla and I can go get spoiled downstairs at the day spa?" She threw him a glance that said that the correct answer would be 'yes.'

"Sure thing." He nodded.

"See? Georg and Bill will watch him. Come on. We have an appointment in a half hour. Bring Bradyn down now so they can get things situated then we can go."

"Are you sure it's okay?"

"It's fine." Kala nodded. "Come over."

"Okay. We'll be down in a minute. I need to get his bag ready." Tayla sighed.

"Cool. See you in a few."

"Bye." Tayla hung up and looked at Bradyn. "Okay, buddy, let's get your things and pack them up."

"We go bye?"

"Yeah, we're going to Georg's room."

"An Goose-gog?"

"No, I don't know where Gustav is. Georg and Bill going to watch you."

"Kay." Bradyn grabbed Elmo off the bed and walked to the door. He knew the routine.

"It'll only be for a little while but then I'll be back, okay?"

"And Daddy?"

"Daddy will be back after we eat dinner tonight." Tayla nodded. "He's working really hard today."

"He wok?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"He's working so that he can do a show tomorrow then go home to Germany on Monday."

"And me?"

"Yeah, you'll get to go with him."

"And you?"

Tayla paused as they stepped out into the hall. "No, I'm not going to Germany."

"Go home?"

"I'm going to my home. Yeah. I live in Connecticut."

"Oh." Bradyn sighed and scratched his ear. "I see?"

"You want to see where I live?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm, maybe one day I can show you my apartment. It's pretty cool." Tayla smiled as they walked down the opposite hall in search of Georg's room.

"Cool." Bradyn nodded and stopped to adjust Elmo in his arms.

"Here we go." Tayla knocked on the door and stood back to wait as she heard Georg run toward the door.

"Hey, guys." He smiled as he pulled the door open. Tayla followed Bradyn into the room and stopped just inside the door.

"Georg is going to hang out with you for a while, okay?" Tayla asked as Bradyn reached for her hand.

"Kay." Bradyn smiled and kicked at the leg of the chair beside him.

"I bet Georg will get some good food for lunch. Maybe even pizza."

"Go ou-side?"

"You guys can go out on the balcony, sure." Tayla nodded as Georg stood off to the side tying his shoes.

"An eat?"

"You'll have to see if Georg wants to eat outside." Tayla nodded.

"Kay." Bradyn sighed and looked up at Georg. "A nap?"

"What?" Georg looked from Bradyn to Tayla.

"He wants to know about a nap." Tayla smiled.

"Does he need one?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, when?" He asked.

"Whenever he gets tired, usually right after lunch."

"Okay." Georg nodded. "And he wants pizza for lunch?"

"You can pretty much get whatever you want. He's like a little vacuum cleaner. He eats just about anything."

"So he's like Gustav only shorter?"

"Exactly." Tayla laughed as Kala stepped out of the bathroom.

"Hi, Bradyn!" Kala exclaimed as she knelt in front of him. Bradyn shyly wrapped his arm around Tayla's legs. "My name is Kala. I'm Georg's friend."

"Hi." He said softly.

"Hi." She laughed. "You know what? If you brought a book, I'll bet Georg will read it to you." She said softly.

"I have."

"You have a book?"

"Yeah."

"Very cool." Kala stood up and looked at Tayla. "So, are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, where's Nadiehn?" Tayla looked at Georg who actually looked unsure. "Are you guys going to be okay here?"

"Yeah, we'll be cool." Georg gave a small nod.

"He's done this before." Kala smiled to reassure Tayla. "Nadiehn is already downstairs waiting for us."

"I've got this covered." Georg laughed and extended his hand to Bradyn. "Come on, buddy, I heard your little red doll thingy here laughs or something?"

"He ticko." Bradyn smiled and took Georg's hand while he carried Elmo in the other.

"I have to see this." He waved over his shoulder as he and Bradyn headed for the big recliner chair.

"Let's leave while we can." Kala pulled Tayla's hand and they left the room together.

"Ugh! I don't know about you but I could definitely use a full treatment today." Tayla took a deep breath as she leaned against the wall to wait for an elevator.

"I think we can manage that." Kala smiled. "I made an appointment to have a one hour full body massage and a deep cleansing facial."

"Have I mentioned that I love you yet?" Tayla pretended to sob with happiness.

"You really look like you could use it."

"Thanks, I think." Tayla gave her a look as they climbed onto the elevator. "This last week has passed in a blur. I mean, it's the last week so it's more hectic than any other week to start with but, with Bradyn here, it's just a little more crazy, then-" Tayla sighed. "This week has just been crazy. I need some wine and a massage before I can talk about it." She laughed as they stepped off the elevator on the top floor and into the sky lighted hall.

"This is gorgeous." Kala looked around in awe. "I could get used to this."

"Me too." Tayla said under her breath as they walked to the reception desk.

"Hey, guys!" Nadiehn waved and smiled to them from a couch in the corner of the waiting area.

"Nay!" Tayla said excitedly and waved back at Nadiehn.

Kala signed them all in for their appointment then sat beside Tayla and Nadiehn on the mossy green leather couch. They only waited a few minutes before they were taken back to the changing rooms and given soft, thick robes and glasses of wine to sip while they waited for their masseurs to arrive.

They arrived after each girl had finished her wine and they got to work preparing the massage tables side by side as well as setting the mood with light music in the background.

"Okay, spill it." Nadiehn said as she and Tayla lay on tables side by side. Their masseuses stood beside the tables and lowered their towels to massage their backs in unison.

"We're all ears." Kala said before she groaned. "Oh God, I so needed this."

Tayla sighed. "Well, as you know, Astrid came back." Just saying her name brought a foul taste to Tayla's mouth. "She showed up out of nowhere at the show the other night and now all of a sudden she wants to see Bradyn."

"Lovely." Kala rolled her eyes as she rested her cheek on her arms. "Did she give any kind of explanation for leaving him?"

"Not to me." Tayla grumbled. "I did tell her that Tom and I are dating though."

"You what?" Nadiehn laughed as her eyes flew open.

"Well, she was just so cocky. I swear it was either slap the shit out of her or say that which actually probably had the same effect." Tayla sighed and let her eyes close as the muscles in her back relaxed. "Then, of course, I had to tell Tom that I told her that. He was just all Why'd you tell her that? but, when she came to visit Bradyn, I ran into them in the hallway and he kissed me kind of."

"He kissed you?!" Nadiehn exclaimed.

"Kind of?" Kala asked.

"Yeah and he said to play along. So I guess he wants Astrid to think we're dating too now. I mean, obviously he does." Tayla sighed. "I haven't really talked to him about that yet though. I don't know. I guess it's not really my business."

"Except that you've raised her kid for the last couple months." Nadiehn pointed out.

"Well yeah but-"

"I think you have a right to know just as much as anyone." Kala said pointedly.

"It's between Astrid and Tom." Tayla sighed. "I just wish he'd share it with me just to share it, you know? Not because I need to know but because he thought I'd like to know."

"You could always ask him." Kala suggested.

"Yeah, I could." Tayla frowned. "Maybe I will."

"How's Bradyn's handling it?" Nadiehn asked with concern.

"Bradyn's great. I mean, I don't see a difference at all."

"Has he said anything to you about his mom?" Nadiehn creased her eyebrows as she imagined how difficult it must be for Bradyn.

"No." Tayla shook her head slightly. "He just said I see mommy. Then it was right back to playing with Elmo."

"I wonder how he took it. Seeing her again after all this time I mean." Nadiehn frowned slightly.

"I don't know." Tayla continued to frown. "So far it's only been that once though, like three days ago. But get this, she was late."

"What?!" Kala's eyebrows shot up.

"She was supposed to be there at eleven for an hour long visit and she came rolling in around noon."

"Bitch!" Kala said under her breath. "Is she serious?"

"Who knows? That just goes to show how committed she is though. I mean, she hasn't seen her son in four months and when she finally gets the chance, she shows up an hour late? And she hasn't called Tom since the meeting either. That's messed up."

"Yeah, it is." Nadiehn grunted angrily.

"Ugh, I just want to take him and run away to Mexico or something." Tayla grumbled.

"Oh, take me with you." Kala laughed.

"Tom's meeting with his lawyers today. Did you guys know that?"

"Yeah, that's what Bill said." Nadiehn said.

"He's scared out of his mind." Tayla said softly. "You should have seen him this morning. Really. He's completely torn over this and nothing has even happened really."

"Is he going to talk to Astrid about it?" Kala asked.

"I don't know." Tayla sighed. "He hasn't said anything to me about her."

"Maybe they'll talk and work things out between themselves. All this lawyer talk might be pointless." Kala said hopefully.

"Yeah but the fact that he has to talk to them at all give him the shakes. There's no way he could give up Bradyn now."

"Of course not." Kala and Nadiehn said in unison.

"Ugh, forget it. Let's talk about something else. This just makes me tense and I don't need any more of that." Tayla frowned deeply and took a deep breath.

They lay in silence for a few minutes before Nadiehn opened her eyes and looked at Tayla. "Bill mentioned kids last night."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. As in his and mine. Ours. He mentioned our kids."

"Are you serious?" Tayla almost sat up straight.

"And it kinda freaked me out. What does that mean?"

"The fact that it freaked you out means you're smart and not ready for kids yet." Tayla laughed. "Being around Bradyn all the time has taught me one thing. While I adore him and he's the best possible kid, there's no way I could be a real mom right now."

"Oh God, me either." Nadiehn sighed. "But I don't think that's what he meant. Or what I meant. I mean, I know he didn't mean the kids we'd have right away but just the fact that he's thought that far ahead, you know?"

"Haven't you?" Kala questioned.

"Well, yeah. Of course. I've daydreamed like any normal girl." Nadiehn smiled like a teenager in love. "But still."

"So how long have you guys been together now?" Tayla asked as she tried to figure it in her head.

"Total? About three years. About two before, when I was still in high school kind of a the beginning of this whole Tokio Hotel thing." Nadiehn laughed lightly. "Then we broke it off while he went out and made it big and we were just friends. We've been dating now for more than a year. Since right before Humanoid came out."

"So maybe he's thinking about more?" Kala offered.

"Oh man." Nadiehn closed her eyes. "I can't think about that right now. I'll get all fluttery in my stomach and nervous."

"Okay." Tayla laughed. They were there to relax and have a good time. "So what are you guys doing next week?"

"Bill and I going to Florida for a few days then back to Germany." Nadiehn smiled.

"Are you guys going to Disney World?" Tayla grinned.

"Oh yeah! I think I'm more excited than Bill!" Nadiehn laughed.

"Georg and I are gonna go visit with my family for a few days before we head back to Germany." Kala sighed. "We're like the perfect family. Like a Norman Rockwell painting. Georg is surprised I turned out so normal. He said if his parents had been that perfect cookie cutter type, he'd have gone crazy." She laughed and let the masseuse melt away the tension in her shoulders. "What about you?"

"I have a few glorious weeks of doing absolutely nothing." Tayla yawned though she wasn't tired. "My roommates will pick my brain for the first week or so then it'll be back to late night munchie parties, bike rides, movies. I love being normal."

Kala and Nadiehn both laughed and nodded in agreement. They were lucky that they could go back to being normal at the end of the day. "How do you think Georg is doing with Bradyn?" Kala asked as they left the massage room an hour later on their way to get facials.

Tayla laughed. "There's not a doubt in my mind that Bradyn has Georg wrapped around his tiny little finger."

"Oh definitely. Georg is such a softy." Kala shook her head and held the door open for Tayla. "I'll bet he's teaching Bradyn the fine art of bird watching or something thought provoking like that."

Tayla shook her head and smiled. "Georg is in for a big surprise." With that, the girls forgot all about Georg and Bradyn and headed into the next phase of their day at the spa.

----------------

"Don't tell your Dad I let you have ice cream, Bray. He'll never let me hear the end of it." Bill pointed his spoon at Bradyn before he took a bite. They and Georg had almost finished the two pints of cherry vanilla ice cream Bill had ordered and the toppings were all over the table.

"Kay." Bradyn laughed and stuck his caramel-covered spoon into the sprinkles.

"You like that, huh?" Georg asked.

"Yeah. Have some?"

"No, I don't want any sprinkles. I'm cool." Georg laughed and shook his head. This was the first time he'd spent any real time with Bradyn and he thought the kid was pretty cool.

"Cool." Bradyn nodded as the half-melted ice cream slipped off his spoon and onto his shirt.

Bill winced as he watched Bradyn dig in for more. If he had thought it through, he would have put an old T-shirt on Bradyn to avoid the mess. "Your shirt is going to be ruined."

"Uh oh."

"That's okay. You have a lot of shirts." Georg said quickly.

"An shuss."

"Yeah, you have a lot of shoes too." Georg laughed.

"An Daddy?"

"Daddy has a lot of shoes?" Georg asked.

"Yeah." Bradyn nodded.

"Yeah, well, your Dad's high maintenance." Bill smiled and set his empty bowl to the side to assess the damage. "We need to be hosed off or something."

"A bass?"

"A what?" The older men asked in unison.

"Ina tub?"

"Oh, no. We're not taking a bath. I, uh- I'm not good at that kind of thing." Georg ran his hands through his hair and thought for a minute. "I have an idea. Let's just ditch the shirt. We'll deal with the clothes later." He said as he tried to pull Bradyn's shirt off. He hoped he wouldn't get melted ice cream in his hair.

"I suck." Bradyn said.

"You what?" Georg laughed and freed Bradyn's arms.

"I suck."

"You suck?" Bill smiled and shook his head. That couldn't be what Bradyn meant.

"Damn it! Your head is stuck." Georg continued to pull, practically lifting Bradyn off the chair.

"Yeah."

"Oh, you're stuck!" Bill chuckled as Georg pulled the shirt down to look at the neck hole. "How the hell does this work?"

"Doe no." Bradyn sighed deeply and creased his brow with toddler worry. "Can fix?"

"There must be a trap door or something." Bill mumbled under his breath as he felt around the neck. Melted ice cream, sprinkles and caramel smeared onto his jeans but he didn't seem to notice.

"I suck."

"I know, pal. We're working on it." Georg smiled and shook his head at how silly he must look.

"Ah ha! Snaps." Bill quickly released the tiny silver snaps at the back of Bradyn's shirt and Georg pulled him free. "There you go."

"No shirt?"

"No. You don't need a shirt."

"An pant?"

"No, you have to keep the pants on." Georg lifted Bradyn off the chair and wandered around the room wondering what they could do next. "So, uh- What now?"

"Waas teebee?"

Bill made a face at the child. "TV? No way. Let's see if you have a book in here or something." He searched through Bradyn's bag.

"I see teebee?"

"No TV tonight." Georg shook his head and set Bradyn on the floor as Bill dug through the backpack.
"Here's a book." Bill exclaimed as he successfully held up a book. "Does your Daddy read this to you?"

"Tayla."

"Tayla does?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want me to read it to you?" Bill asked.

"Kay." Bradyn shrugged his tiny shoulders and walked over to the windows where he played with the curtains.

"Let's sit by the window so we can see the pictures well. How's that?" He sat on the floor by the sliding glass door and leaned back against the wall. Georg sat beside Bill with his back against the wall.

"I sit?"

"Yeah, you can sit right here." Bill patted his leg for Bradyn to sit in his lap.

"An read?" Bradyn sat square in the middle of Bill's lap with his back pressed against Bill's chest.

"Yeah, I'll read it for you and you can look at the pictures, okay?"

"Kay." Bradyn sighed and bounced his hands off Bill's knees.

"Cool." Bill said softly as he flipped the book open and smiled at the bright Dr. Seuss pictures. "Good choice."

"I see a hat."

"A bunch of hats." Georg nodded. Bradyn settled into his lap as Bill read the well known story of Green Eggs and Ham. Georg and Bill had never read the story before so they were just as entertained by it as Bradyn.

"... And I would eat them in a boat and with a goat, in the rain and on a train because I do like green eggs and ham. I really like them, Sam I am." Bill read softly as Bradyn rested his head against Bill's bicep. He closed the book and smiled down at Bradyn. "Wasn't that a cool story?"

"Yeah." Bradyn smiled and yawned. "Again?"

"No, we don't want to read that one again. How about if we go outside and look at the lights? I'll bet we can see some airplanes." Bill looked excited as he moved Bradyn off his lap to stand up. He lifted him onto his hip. "Do you like airplanes?"

"Yeah." Bradyn nodded.

"Remember when we went on that airplane and we got to see the pilot's seat?" Georg asked.

"Yeah and no touch."

"Oh no. We're not allowed to touch it." Georg said seriously.

"For only one."

"That's right. It's only for the pilot." Georg nodded and slid the thick glass door open. They all stepped out into the warm California evening air and looked up into the sky. "Hey, look over there. You can see the ocean. What lives in the ocean?"

"Fish."

"And what else?" Bill asked.

"Bo?"

"Yeah, boats are in the ocean." Bill smiled and looked down at the toddler in his arms. A yellow sprinkle clung to Bradyn's cheek and Bill reached up to brush it off. He resisted the temptation to lick his thumb and clean the area like his mother used to do to him.

"No mays."

Georg laughed and shook his head. "No, no mermaids."

"And dog?"

"Hmm, some dogs like to go in the ocean." Georg smiled.

"Oh! Check it out. Right over there. There's a plane." Bill pointed to the south where he could see a plane in the distance blinking across the sky.

"Is small?"

"It just looks small because we're so far away. If we were closer it would be huge." Bill explained.

"How?"

"How huge?" Bill raised his eyebrows. "It would be bigger than this room and bigger than our stage!"

"Wow!" Bradyn looked completely amazed and Bill beamed.

"Pretty cool, huh?" Bill would never get tired of seeing that look of wonder on a child's face. At that moment he realized that, no matter what was going on, Tom was the luckiest man alive.

"Is big."

"Yeah, that's big." Georg nodded as the door to the hotel room behind them opened. "Uh oh. Who's here?"

"Tayla an Nay an Kala!" Bradyn waved over Bill's shoulder as the girls walked into the room.

"Hey there, gorgeous. Are you bird watching?" Tayla asked with a smile as they walked in.

"No, we're looking at airplanes." Bill smirked as he turned around.

"Ha ha." Tayla rolled her eyes and extended her hands to Bradyn. "I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to this gorgeous young man." She scooped him up and covered him with kisses.

"I see how it is." Bill laughed as Nadiehn walked over and kissed him. "At least someone thinks I'm worthy of a dozen kisses."

"Thanks for watching him guys." Tayla smiled as she set Bradyn on the floor and took his hand. "Do you have Lello?"

"No." Georg shook his head as he wrapped his arms around Kala. "You left him with his backpack and that red thing."

"That's Elmo. Okay. Are you ready to go Bradyn?" Tayla looked down at the little boy. "Where are your clothes?"

"Have pant." Bradyn tugged at his jeans.

"I see you have your pants. What happened to your shirt?"

"A messy."

"You got messy?" Tayla laughed and looked at Bill.

"We had ice cream and probably ruined his dinner." He blushed quickly. "I'll toss his shirt in with mine for the dirty laundry."

"Okay." Tayla shook her head and looked at Bradyn. "Are you ready to get the heck outta here?" She tossed his backpack over her shoulder.

"Yeah." He nodded and waved over his shoulder "Bye-bye, Gay-og! Bye-bye, Pie appo!"

Georg burst out laughing. "He's still calling you pineapple!"

"Shut it, Listing." Bill blushed. "Bye, Bradyn." Bill raised his hand in a wave as Tayla pulled the door open.

"See you guys later." Tayla smiled and propped the door with her foot for Bradyn to walk out but instead he stopped and turned around to run over to Georg with his arms outstretched.

Georg opened his arms and caught him expertly in a big bear hug. "Aww. Thanks, Bray."

"Do I get a hug too?" Bill smiled. Bradyn hopped over to Bill and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Tayla quickly looked at Nadiehn who stood there with a pained expression on her face.

"Have hug." Bradyn nodded.

"Thank you, buddy." Bill rubbed Bradyn's head quickly but he didn't let go. "I love you, Bray."

"Love too, Pie appo." Bradyn giggled as he stepped back. "I go."

"Okay, Bradyn, I'll see you later." Bill stood up and watched as Bradyn trotted past Tayla out into the hallway. Tayla just looked at Bill and smiled as he exhaled heavily. "Wow."

"He likes you." Tayla laughed as Nadiehn put her arm around Bill's waist.

"Well, I like him too." Bill nodded and ran his hand through his hair as Tayla let Bradyn pull her into the hall.

They walked hand in hand to Tayla's room where she asked. "Are you hungry?"

"No." Bradyn shook his head and threw his stuffed dog at the bed.

"Well, I'm starving. I'm going to order up some dinner and we'll chill out for a little bit, okay? Run out your sugar high before your Daddy gets done."

"Daddy?"

"Yeah, he'll be here in a little bit. When he's done with his work." Tayla nodded and opened her bag with her stash of extra kid clothes.

"Goose-gog?"

"Gustav? I don't know. I think he's in his room."

"See Pie appo?"

"Bill wants to see Gustav?" Tayla asked with a look of confusion.

"No me."

"You want to see Gustav?"

"And Pie appo." Bradyn nodded.

"You just saw Pineapple." Tayla laughed. "Now you've got me calling him that." She waved him over to where she stood as she shook out the little T-shirt.

"Again." Bradyn sighed and walked over to where Tayla stood and put his arms up.

"You can see Bill tomorrow, okay?" Tayla smiled and pulled the clean shirt over his head before she kissed his cheek.

"Ina party?" Bradyn smiled.

"Yeah, did he tell you about the big party we're going to have tomorrow?" Tayla raised her eyebrows then they sat side by side on the floor. "We're going to have so much fun. You won't believe it."

"How?"

"Well, we're going to go see the show and then after that everyone is going to get together and have one huge party. I mean, everyone."

"Daddy?"

"Yeah your daddy will be there. All of the guys will. And Saki and Tobi and all the security guards and me and Nadiehn and Kala and everyone."

"And me?"

"Of course you!" Tayla laughed. "We're going to have the biggest party ever."

"Why?"

"Because it's the last show and that is so exciting." Tayla reached out and rubbed his head. "Because after that, everyone can go home and see their families and their dogs and their homes and all that."

"I go?"

"Yeah." Tayla nodded and hoped that Bradyn would be able to go to Germany with Tom. Now that Astrid was back she didn't know how all of that would work. "Okay, I'm going to order up some food. I'll get you some fries, okay?"

"Kay." Bradyn nodded and scooted over by the window.

Tayla placed their order then got her Memory game out of her bag. Bradyn wasn't old enough to really play but he had fun flipping the cards over to look for two that matched. The played the game until the food arrived and ate picnic style on the floor while Toy Story played on the TV above them.

Bradyn took a few fries and a bite or two of the chicken fingers that Tayla had ordered for herself. Suddenly he asked, "Go Bill now?"

"Hmm?"

"Go Goose-gog?"

"You want to go see Gustav?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know if he's in his room." Tayla shook her head.

"Caw phone." Bradyn looked up at her as if to say duh.

"Yeah, I can call him, I suppose." Tayla pushed herself up off the floor and wiped her hands on her jeans. "We need to get out of here anyway." She mumbled under her breath as she called over to Gustav's room.

"Good! Great, you're there." She smiled when he answered.

"Okay, that's one way to answer a phone. Yeah." He said slowly.

"This is Tayla."

"Oh!" Gustav laughed and sat on the bed causing it to squeak audibly. "What's up?"

"Well, I have Bradyn here and he'd like to come over and see you."

"Really?" Gustav sounded surprised.

"Yeah."

"Why?" He laughed.

"I don't know. He just said Go Gustav so I thought we'd come on down and say hi if you're not too busy?" She explained with a smile.

"I'm never to busy for Bradyn. Come over."

"Cool. I need to clean up our dinner mess and we'll come over." Tayla smiled at Bradyn. "Thanks."

"No problem. I need to clean up a little bit here too. I'm a mess."

Tayla laughed and imagined Gustav rushing around his room to do the thirty second clean up. "Okay, Bradyn, help me get this stuff cleaned up and we'll go see Gustav." She sighed and sat on the floor across from Bradyn as she began to pick up the little picture cards.

----------------

Tom walked down the hall looking like something the cat dragged in. He took a deep breath as he watched the numbers on the doors get higher. He was almost to Tayla's room when the cell phone in his pocket began to ring. "Hello?" He mumbled.

"Tom?" Carrie asked. He would never forget her voice.

"Hey, Carrie. I can't talk right now." Tom coughed into his shoulder and leaned against the wall. "Can I call you later?" She was the last person he wanted to deal with at the moment.

"Wait!" She said quickly. "Tom, I just wanted to apologize."

"For what? Jumping ship when I needed you? Over-reacting? What exactly are you apologizing for?"

She seemed stunned for a second. "We didn't start dating until Easter weekend and you said he was conceived on April Fool's Day, right?"

"Uh huh."

"Then you didn't cheat on me."

"Which is what I told you from the start." Tom pointed out. "Listen, Carrie, I really can't talk right now. I've just spent all day dealing with my PR managers, publicists, lawyers and management team and now I have to go pick up my son whom I haven't seen since this morning and I need to eat dinner."

"It's after five."

"I know, which means I'm starving." Tom scowled and knocked on Tayla's door. "Thanks for the apology. I appreciate it. You're just a little late with it. I could have used this understanding four months ago." He turned his phone all the way off and dropped it into his pocket as he heard a pair of tiny feet running for the door.

"Hang on, Bradyn. Wait!" He heard Tayla say from the other side. "I need to go out first."

"I go?" Bradyn asked.

Tom smiled as he listened to the muffled voices coming through the door. "No, me first. Hang on. Come here and hold my hand. We'll go see Gustav."

Tom stood back as the door opened and Tayla took a step out then stopped suddenly with a gasp. "Oh, Tom! You scared me." She laughed and held her hand over her chest.

"Hi, Daddy!" Bradyn launched himself against Tom's legs and tried to crawl up his pants.

"Hey, guys." Tom smiled with tired eyes and looked at Tayla. "How was the spa?"

"Fun." She nodded. "You look like you could use a few hours with a masseuse."

"I would never get off the table." He laughed. "Where are you guys headed?"

"We were just going to run down to Gustav's room to see what he was doing." Tayla explained. "I was checking the hall to make sure the security was out, just in case."

"Yeah they're hanging out up there." Tom nodded toward the end of the hall where the elevators were. "Did you eat dinner yet buddy?"

"Yeah."

"What'd you have?"

"Eat finger?"

"You ate a finger?" Tom looked at Tayla.

"Chicken fingers." She laughed. "That's kind of a hard one to explain to kids. We shared an order of chicken fingers and fries."

"Oh okay." Tom laughed. "So do you want to go say hi to Gustav real quick before we go to our room?"

"Kay." Bradyn nodded.

"Okay." Tom smiled and caught Tayla's eye. "Thanks, Tayla."

"No problem." She reached out to smooth Bradyn's hair down on the side. "You'll want to thank Bill and Georg also. They watched Bradyn while we were at the spa."

"I will." Tom picked Bradyn up into his arms. "Did you have fun with Bill and Georg?"

"Yeah, see pane." Bradyn pointed toward the roof.

"They watched airplanes." Tayla laughed and leaned against the door frame.

"Got it." Tom stifled a yawn and looked down at Bradyn. "So what else did you guys do?"

"Have eye keem."

"Oh really, huh?" Tom laughed as he and Bradyn walked hand in hand down the hall. "They gave you ice cream? That was nice."

"Speeko."

"Speeko?"

"Ona eye keem."

"Sprinkles?" Tom laughed and gave Bradyn a surprised look.

"Yeah." Bradyn laughed and covered his mouth with his free hand.

"Get outta here! They really let you put sprinkles on your ice cream? Wow, you're one lucky kid."

"Yeah." Bradyn sighed and ran his hand down the wall. "See Goose-gog?"

Tayla watched from her doorway until they stopped to knock on Gustav's door. She shut herself in her room and flopped down on the bed. She took a long hot shower and relaxed in bed with a cheesy romance novel. The day at the spa was just what she needed.

She read until her eyes drooped and she had to read one paragraph nine times for it to make sense. She turned off the light to rest up for the next day. The final show was always a busy and exciting day.

----------------

Saturday was crazy from beginning to end. The day of their last show was always crazy but this was the first time Tayla was going to be there to experience it first hand. Breakfast consisted of anything anyone wanted to eat and the entire day was basically left open for everyone to have fun after all the work was done.

The stage hands double and triple checked the riggings to make sure the night would go off without a hitch. All of the pyro guys tested their equipment and the microphones were sound checked twice before the guys took the stage for their own sound check that afternoon. Nothing could go wrong that night, no matter what.

During the sound check Tom had Bradyn out on the stage to play around and dance, basically to tire him out so that he would take a late nap. There was a party planned for that night at the hotel and all of the guys had been talking to Bradyn about how fun it would be. Tom didn't want him to sleep through the whole thing.

"Hey, buddy. You wanna sing today too?" Bill got down on his knees to be at Bradyn's level as the toddler walked across the stage.

"I sing?" Bradyn asked as he hopped over some cords.

"Sure. What song do you like?"

"Two da ma-sue." Bradyn squinted up at Bill and smiled as he took the heavy mic.

"Well, sing it into there." Bill tapped the mic causing a resounding thud to echo through the venue.

"No." Bradyn smiled and handed the microphone back to Bill. "No you sing."

"I've been singing all day." Bill pouted as he fell on the floor. "You sing."

"No you." Bradyn laughed and sat on Bill's stomach.

"No you." Bill groaned as Bradyn's weight smushed everything in his abdomen toward his lungs.

"No you." Bradyn insisted as he patted Bill's chest.

"I don't want to. You sing."

"No Gay-og." Bradyn jumped up and ran over to Gustav. "And Goose-gog."

"Me? I don't want to sing either." Gustav said as he held his arms in the air.

"Yeah, sing." Bradyn nodded.

"Make Tom sing." Gustav nodded toward Tom who was sitting at the edge of the stage with his feet hanging over.

"Daddy sing?" Bradyn gave Gustav a weird look.

"Yeah, he can sing."

"No." Bradyn laughed and shook his head as if Gustav's suggestion was absurd.

"Hey! Yeah, I can! I sing to you all the time." Tom said into his mic. The sound of Tom's voice so loud made Bradyn jump. He laughed as he turned around to face Tom.

"Your Daddy sings to you?" Georg laughed into his mic.

"What does he sing?" Bill asked from his position flat on the floor.

"I a tee-pah." Bradyn laughed and put his hand on his hip.

"You what?" Gustav asked.

"Nothing." Tom shook his head. "Shhh, Bradyn. You're not supposed to tell anyone."

"I a tee-pah." Bradyn said again as he leaned sideways.

"I'm a Little Teapot?" Gustav raised his eyebrows as Tom's face turned bright red.

"Yeah." Bradyn laughed and slapped his thigh. "I tee-pah so an sow."

"Awww. C'mon, Tom. Sing for us." Gustav draped his arm over Tom's shoulders. "This we gotta hear."

"Come here, you kleine Heinzelmännchen." Tom shook his head and held his hand out. Bradyn took off in a sprint toward Tom but, as soon as Bradyn got within a few feet, Tom remembered he was at the very edge of the stage. His smile fell as he leaned over as far as he could, preparing to go over if he had to. "Bradyn, stop!"

"Bradyn!" Georg was closest to Bradyn and covered the distance in two broad steps. He caught the sleeve of his T-shirt just before he hit Tom's outstretched arm at full speed. Georg's fingers closed on the fabric and pulled Bradyn back hard enough to land him on his butt. It startled the little boy into tears.

"Is he okay?" Gustav asked as he ran over.

Bill pulled himself off the floor and was two steps behind the others. "What happened?"

"He's okay." Tom tried to catch his breath as his heart pounded in his ears. "Wow."

"Whoa." Georg shook his head and pried his fingers loose from Bradyn's shirt.

"Thanks." Tom looked up and met Georg's eyes with an expression of both panic and relief.

"He was going over the edge." Georg shook his head and looked at the six foot drop to the concrete floor below.

"I'd say stage time for the two year old is just about over." Gustav added from the back.

"Is he hurt?" Bill asked as Bradyn inhaled and let out a howl.

"No." Tom shook his head and sprung into action. He pulled Bradyn onto his lap as he swung his legs around so that he was safely sitting on the stage. "It's okay, buddy." He ran his hand over Bradyn's head. "You're okay. That was just kinda scary, huh?"

"Georg ow!" Bradyn cried loudly into the mic Tom still attached to Tom's head. Tom threw the microphone to Bill and held his son close.

At the sound of his name Georg blushed and leaned back on his heels. "I'm sorry, Bradyn. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Georg didn't mean to hurt you. He was trying to help you."

"No!" Bradyn continued to cry big tears as Tom hugged him. The others watched on with mixed emotions as they saw Tom mastering the art of fatherhood.

"He was trying to keep you from falling down onto the ground. See down there? You could have really hurt yourself." Tom explained as Bradyn's sobs subsided into sniffles and gulps. "Can you thank Georg for catching you?"

"No." Bradyn's bottom lip protruded in a pout.

"Then can you give him a hug so he doesn't think you're mad at him?"

"Not mad." Bradyn shook his head. "I owie my butt."

"Please? Go give Georg a hug and say thank you. He stopped you from getting hurt very badly." Tom said. He left no room for argument. Bradyn slowly stood up and wrapped his arms around Georg's neck as the older man knelt beside Tom.

"I owie." Bradyn sniffed.

"I'm sorry I knocked you on your butt." Georg placed his large hand on the back of Bradyn's head and accepted the hug as a thank you.

"Yeah, the sound check is over." Gustav nodded as he tossed a drumstick in the air and caught it. "Come on, Bradyn. I have some new video games and stuff to play with. Wanna come see?"

"No." Bradyn sniffed.

"Not now, Gustav."

"Oh, come on. He's fine. He's just a little shaken up." Gustav walked over to where Bradyn and Tom were sitting and leaned down to wipe Bradyn's cheeks. "I have those animal cookie things and a new Scooby Doo game."

"My butt?" Bradyn whined as he sat up in Tom's lap.

"Your butt's fine. You're cool." Gustav shrugged and nodded toward the side stage. He looked at Tom. "If you don't make a big deal about it, he'll be fine."

"He almost-" Tom started.

"Yeah almost but he didn't." Gustav smiled. "Because Georg rocks. Come on, Bray, last chance."

"I pay?"

"Yeah, you can play." Gustav scooped him out of Tom's lap but Tom's hands followed his up to make sure Gustav didn't drop him.

"Just be careful." Tom jumped up off the floor and wiped his hands on his pants. "For real."

"I'll be careful. Right, Bradyn?" Gustav asked as he bounced Bradyn up onto his hip.

"Kick butt."

"Yep, we're gonna kick butt with a video game but not really."

"Kick bad." Bradyn nodded and wiped at his nose with his arm.

"You got that right." Gustav nodded. "We'll be in the playroom. Get this place cleaned up a little or something, huh?" He kicked a small coil of cords to the side and laughed as he trotted off the stage with Bradyn.

"That's one hell of a way to start off the last show festivities, huh?" Georg laughed nervously as he looked around the stage.

"So we're done here?" Tom shouted to no one in particular.

"You're done." Their stage manager shouted back from wherever he was hiding.

"Cool." Bill slapped Tom on the back as they walked off the stage. "We're gonna party tonight, right Tom?"

"Yeah."

"You're bringing the kid?"

"Of course. Georg got him all hyped up for a party. How could I not take him?" Tom smiled as Georg walked by.

"Yeah but he's gonna fall asleep before it even starts." Bill frowned.

"You'd be surprised." Tom shook his head. "Don't sweat it. You'll have all the time in the world to party. I'm gonna grab something to drink. I'll catch up with you guys before the meet and greet."

"Yipee." Georg rolled his eyes and followed Bill down the hall to the playroom where they planned on spending their little bit of free time.

Tayla arrived at the venue an hour before she had to be there and wandered around to get one last look at everything before it was torn down. She ran into Nadiehn in the hall as she was on her way from the cafeteria with a box of cracker jacks in her hand, "Hey you." Tayla smiled.

"Hey! Where are you headed?"

"Nowhere." Tayla shrugged and offered Nadiehn the box.

Nadiehn shook some of the cracker jacks into her hand. "Then come with me. I'm bored."

"Where's your main squeeze?" Tayla laughed.

"In the dressing room. Where's yours?"

"Bradyn?" Tayla asked.

"Is there someone else I should know about?" Nadiehn raised her eyebrow at Tayla as she pushed the dressing room door open.

"No." Tayla stepped into the room and fell onto the empty couch. "I don't know where Bradyn is. Tom has him."

"That's a good thing, right?"

"Oh yeah, Tom's really great with him." Tayla nodded as Nadiehn sat beside her.

The door opened quickly and Bill rushed in. "There you are." He sighed and collapsed on the far end of the couch and dropped his legs over Nadiehn's lap.

"Here I am." She smiled. "How'd it go? I didn't think you guys would be done yet." Nadiehn checked her watch.

"We had a small mishap so the sound check ended a little early." Bill yawned and rested his head on the back of the couch.

"What happened?" Nadiehn asked.

"Bradyn came about three inches from giving us all a collective heart attack." Bill shook his head as he leaned forward to kiss Nadiehn quickly before laying back down.

"Why? What happened?" Tayla asked with a look of concern.

"Tom was sitting at the edge of the stage during the sound check and Bradyn was playing around with the rest of us. He was sitting on my stomach and he took off running for Tom and came about an inch from launching himself off the end of the stage." Bill shook his head.

Tayla's heart skipped a beat. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah, yeah he's cool. Georg caught his sleeve and pulled him onto his butt. I think it scared him more than anything, poor kid."

"I bet." Tayla put her hand over her heart.

"But, let me tell you, as soon as Tom said Bradyn stop! all of us just kind of froze for a second. It was weird. Georg was cool though. Like Superman." Bill smiled and patted Nadiehn's leg. "I swear we all sprouted a dozen gray hairs."

"Where is he now?"

"Tom?" Bill asked.

"Bradyn." Tayla shook her head as she stood up.

"He and Gustav went to play video games. You might wanna try the game room." Bill shrugged.

"When is your meet and greet?"

"In-" He checked his watch. "Twenty minutes."

"Okay, thanks." She smiled. "I'll catch you later, Nay." Tayla tucked her hands in her pockets and set off to find Bradyn and Tom just to make sure everyone was okay.

Tayla wandered around backstage but couldn't find them in the game room or anywhere else for that matter. She sighed and went back to the dressing room to wait. They'd eventually show up there if Tayla was going to watch Bradyn while they did their meet and greet. She entertained herself by listening to Georg and Gustav argue over who stole whose shirt and finally passed judgment as the authority on their clothes. "That was Georg's shirt originally." She said as they stood ten feet away tossing it at each other. "Hey, I thought you had Bradyn?"

"Tom took him." Gustav shrugged as he grabbed the shirt from Georg.

"Oh! See? Leave my clothes alone." Georg snatched the shirt back and gave Gustav the finger.

"Then how come it's been in my rack for a month? I've worn it like a dozen times and now you want it?" Gustav shook his head.

Georg held the shirt to his nose. "Ew, you could wash it every now and then." He wadded the shirt up and tossed it over the racks to Gustav, who smiled triumphantly and hung it back on his rack. Tayla laughed and shook her head as the door behind her opened and Bradyn rode in on Tom's shoulders.

"Tayla!" He screeched from his high perch.

"Wow! Look at you!" She laughed and reached up to high five him.

"Wanna give me a hand here?" Tom leaned over slightly so that Tayla could lift him off of his shoulders.

"How's it going?"

"I good."

"Awesome." She laughed and bounced him on her hip. "I heard you had a little scare today?" She said to Tom.

"Oh shit, yeah." He took a deep breath and became serious. "I swear I almost had a coronary or something." Tom ran his hand over his face then straightened his shirt. "Yeah, no more sound checks for Bradyn."

"I guess it's a good thing this is your last show, huh?" Tayla smiled and made a face at Bradyn who was getting antsy in her arms.

"Yeah, until our European tour." Tom sighed. "Hopefully by then he'll know not to go anywhere near the edge."

"That's something you can work on."

"You can say that again." Tom laughed and put his hands on his hips. "Are these clowns ready to go? We have a crowd of fans out there waiting for us." He said loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Did you peek?" Georg asked as he came out from the racks in a completely different shirt than he had on earlier.

"Yeah." Tom nodded. "They've gone all out for the last one. I'd be willing to bet this one goes over by thirty minutes, at least."

"Oh. Yay." Bill said sarcastically as he pulled Gustav out into the hall. "Come on."

"But I don't wanna go." Gustav's whining followed them down the hall toward the green room where the fans were waiting.

"Two down." Tom looked around the dressing area, "Georg, let's go." Tom laughed and looked over at Tayla and Bradyn. "I'll see you in about an hour." Tom rubbed Bradyn's head and stuck out his tongue. "Play nice."

"I pay." Bradyn laughed. "You pay now?"

"Yeah, well kinda." Tom shook his head and smiled. "Have fun." He said to Tayla as he followed Georg out the door.

"We will." She smiled and set Bradyn on the floor as the door shut. "They're gone!" Tayla smiled slyly at Bradyn.

"Go bye." Bradyn nodded.

"Yeah, you know what that means?"

"Fine dag-on." He made his scary face and clawed at the air.

"Yes, it's time to find some dragons." Tayla dropped to her knees and laughed as Bradyn ran toward the racks of clothing and came back with a T-shirt in his hand.

"Ana hat." He put it on his head and Tayla tied the arms to make it snug.

"Are we ready?"

"Yeah." Bradyn laughed and crawled up onto the couch as their game began.

----------------

David stepped into the hall between Georg and Tom and placed his hand on Tom's shoulder. "Hey, I need you to come in here for a minute." David said as he watched Georg jump up and slap a hanging banner.

"I'm doing the meet and greet. Can I come back after?" Tom pointed down the hall at Georg.

"No, you're off the hook for that. This is definitely more important." David waved him into the little office where another man was sitting at David's desk. "Tom this is Joshua Thompson. I think you've met. Benjamin sent him out here to meet with you."

"We met the other day. What's up?" Tom asked with a confused expression. He slowly shook the older mans hand but refused the chair when David offered it.

"This is personal." Joshua said seriously as he looked at David.

"It's okay. He can stay. What's going on?" Tom asked as David shut the door tightly. "What's this about?" He looked back at Joshua though, in his mind, he already knew what the lawyer was going to say. It didn't take a genius to know.

"Astrid contacted Universal Music Group yesterday." David said softly.

"What?!" Tom's mouth dropped open. Of course she had. This was the next logical step for her but, even knowing that, Tom could hardly believe it when he heard the words spoken out loud.

"A Miss Astrid Ingrid Sawatzke has filed a petition to gain sole physical and legal custody of your shared son, Bradyn Stephen Sawatzke." Joshua read off the papers before he handed them to Tom.

"I- She- She's taking me to court?" Tom's face flushed with anger. "She can't be serious." He glanced at his lawyer with a look of desperation.

"She's serious." Joshua nodded.

"No fucking way. She's going to try to take me to court for custody after she abandoned him?" Tom would have laughed at the thought if he weren't seething with anger.

"Her argument is that, with your lifestyle, life on the road isn't good for Bradyn."

"She said herself she lived on the road since her mom kicked her out when she was pregnant! I at least have a warm bed for him and food every night. That's a hell of a lot more stable than bouncing from one friend's house to another." Tom shook his head and threw the paper on the desk as his stomach wound itself in knots. "Besides, we'll be done with the tour in four hours so, as of Monday, he'll be at my house with his own room and everything he could want."

"She got herself an apartment now with a friend of hers." Joshua explained as he picked up the small packet of paper.

"Who cares? She left him in the hotel lobby with a stranger. Doesn't that count for anything?" Tom tried to keep his voice from shaking as his eyes darted from David to Joshua. He hoped beyond hope that one of them would say this was all a joke, that Astrid hadn't contacted anyone at all, that she had once again disappeared.

"Tom, don't get so upset yet. I don't think she'll have much of a case. At best she might get shared custody."

"Absolutely not." Tom shook his head. "No. Joshua- Just- No. If she wants to go for full custody then that's what I want."

"I know you don't want shared custody but Tom that might be the-" Joshua started while David kept quiet on the other end of the desk.

"No." He shook his head. "I don't care. I'm not having Bradyn bounce back and forth from my house to hers every month or whatever. He's just a baby practically. That'll totally mess with his head. He's had a hard enough time, don't you think?" His hands moved with a life of their own as he spoke.

"With kids this young they'll usually have one parent keep him during the week and the other on the weekend."

"I live in Germany. She lives here. How would that work?"

"You could move out here."

"Right." He rolled his eyes. "She could just as easily move to Germany." Tom held Joshua's look. "I'm not budging on this, Joshua."

"If you go in there demanding everything you could walk out with nothing." Joshua explained softly.

"I can't settle for less though. I won't. He's my son and I won't have him bounced around like that."

"He's her son too."

"Whom she abandoned." Tom waved his arms for emphasis in case his tone didn't reflect it well enough.

"That certainly won't help her case at all."

"That should blow her case out of the fucking water." Tom scowled.

"Unfortunately that's not how it works, Tom." Joshua shook his head. "I'm going to look over the paperwork that's been sent and contact her lawyer to find out what the deal is. We have a court date for two weeks from Thursday. In the meantime go along with any scheduled visits as usual."

"She doesn't have any scheduled visits. I haven't heard from her since she came to see him in LA." Tom shook is head.

"You've had no contact with her at all?" Joshua asked.

"No." Tom sighed and pressed his hands against his eyes. "I called her the other day but she wasn't home."

"Did you leave a message?"

"Whoever answered the phone didn't let me leave my name or number." He shrugged. "So no, I guess she didn't know I called."

"Well from now on, you don't talk to her. All contact will go through the lawyers. If she wants to play that game we can do that."

"I have to let her see Bradyn?"

"You don't have to but I'm trying to keep this out of court as much as possible. If you start denying her visitation this could get uglier."

"Yeah." Tom nodded. "But what if she tries to take him. I mean, it's obvious she wants him."

"The visits will be in either my LA office, David's office or your hotel room. Either way Bradyn's private security guard will be present at all times."

"He doesn't have one." Tom ran his shaking hands through his hair as he realized that his nightmare was only just beginning.

"He does now." David nodded. "I'm calling Seppel in. I'd rather be safe than sorry."

"So I have to stay here in San Diego?" Tom asked.

"Los Angeles actually." Joshua nodded. "The court dates are scheduled for there since that is where she lives and that is where Bradyn was abandoned. That's also where the suit was filed so that's where we're going to be."

"Okay." Tom sighed. "Can I stay down here until our court date though? San Diego, I mean. Media wise this place is calmer than LA." His eyes darted from David to Joshua.

"Sure, you can stay here. It's not an unreasonable distance to ask her to drive for visits." Joshua nodded and glanced at the papers in front of him. Tom secretly hoped she wouldn't want to make that drive any more than she had to.

"Okay." Tom nodded, "What a way to start my break, huh?" He asked David.

"I'm sorry about this, Tom." David frowned.

"Don't be. I brought this on myself, right?" Tom cleared his throat. "I mean, he's my son. I have to take this responsibility and fight for what I think is right." The bite in his voice was determination to hide his fear.

"Right." David said with a proud smile. "I'm just sorry this has gotten so far out of hand."

"Me too." Tom said softly as he stood up and reached for the door. "Are we done?"

Joshua straightened the stack of papers in his hands and handed Tom his copy. "Yes."

"I'll be in the dressing room." Tom folded the papers into thirds and stuck it in his back pocket.

"We're going to want to get together as soon as possible to talk about our approach, Tom." Joshua said as Tom stepped into the hall.

"Yeah." Tom mumbled as the door swung shut behind him. He kept his eyes on the concrete floor in front of him as he walked down the hall to the dressing room. Before he could put his hand on the door, he heard Bradyn screeching and laughing inside, followed by a loud growl from Tayla and a loud thud of something solid hitting the floor.

"Oh no!" Tayla laughed.

"Uh oh." Bradyn laughed and Tom heard his tiny feet run across the floor.

"That's okay. We just won't tell Georg." Tayla laughed. "Come on! Let's go before the dragons comes back!"

Tom slowly pushed the door open and caught Tayla on her hands and knees chasing Bradyn who had one of Bill's old T-shirts tied around his head. "Hey, guys, what are you doing?" He smiled as he leaned against the door frame.

"Oh! Hey, uh- Hi." Tayla stood up and wiped her hands on her pants. "We're in the jungle looking for dragons."

"Dragons in the jungle? That sounds fun."

"I thought you had a meet and greet." She blushed and straightened her hair.

"I did." Tom nodded. "But I'm off the hook."

"How'd you swing that?" Tayla laughed as Bradyn pretended to be a dragon by climbing up into the recliner chair.

"Astrid is suing me for custody." Tom bit his lip as his left eye twitched slightly. Saying the words himself, he made it real.

"She what?" Tayla's voice went up an octave unexpectedly.

"Yeah. She, uh- We got the papers or, well, UMG got the papers yesterday, I guess." Tom nodded and smiled at Bradyn. "Be careful, buddy. Sit down so you don't fall."

"Shared custody or?" Tayla asked as Tom ducked around the clothing racks to his own roll around closet.

"Oh no." Tom shook his head as he emerged a minute later. "No no no. She's going all out this time. She's asking for full legal and physical custody." His voice dripped with sarcasm and Tayla could tell he was using all of his self-control to not hit something.

"What does that mean?"

"Sole physical custody means that Bradyn would live with her full time and I'd get specific visitation rights. Sole legal custody means that she'd be making all the legal decisions regarding his health care, schooling, residency, things like that."

Tayla's eyes widened. "So basically she wants Bradyn all to herself with you maybe getting to see him every now and then?"

"If she gets that, I can take her to court to get set visitation rights." Tom sighed.

"Shit." She said under her breath.

"Yeah. Lovely, huh?"

"What are you going to do?"

"Fight back." Tom shrugged. "What else can I do?"

"You're going to court?" She gave him a worried look. Courtrooms and celebrities were not a good match. It would only amplify the publicity and media frenzy.

"I have to." Tom sighed and walked over to where Bradyn was climbing over the back of the chair. "Come on, Bray. Hop down." He grabbed Bradyn's wrists and playfully lifted him up and over the back to place him on the floor.

"Have dag-on."

"Dragons, huh?" Tom smiled and looked around. "We'd better be careful, huh?"

"Yeah." Bradyn laughed.

"What's on your head?"

"Hat."

"A hat?" Tom laughed lightly. "That's a cool hat."

"Yeah." Bradyn placed his hands on his head and looked up at Tayla. "Go bus now?"

"I told him that when you came back we'd head out to the bus."

"Oh, well no you don't have to go now." Tom shook his head. "I have a little more time now. How about we go find some dragons?" He sat in the chair and pulled Bradyn into his lap.

"If you need to make some calls or whatever I can take him." Tayla said softly.

"It's too late to call my parents in Germany. They're the only ones I can think of that I would want to call." He made up the excuse. It would never be too late to call his parents. He just didn't want to spend two hours on the phone re-living the last few months.

"David knows?"

"Yeah. David and my lawyers know. I'll tell the guys when they get done or maybe after the show, I don't know."

"I'm sorry, Tom." Tayla said softly after a moments pause.

"Don't be." Tom shook his head as he tried to smile. His stomach was in knots and he wasn't sure how he was supposed to be feeling. He was nervous but he tried to remain confident as every indiscretion, every wild party and every personality flaw stared back at him.

Tayla ducked out the door as Tom and Bradyn sat on the couch together. She knew he had a lot on his mind and she wasn't sure if there was anything she could do to help. Saki came to find her before the show started so that she could watch Bradyn in the game room. Her mind wandered all night. Tom couldn't lose Bradyn now. None of them could.

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The show ended after two encores and a five minute standing ovation but, any excitement that Tom should have felt after a long tour and a job well done, was lost as his mind wandered to the news he had received earlier that night. He told the others as they got ready to leave and they all reacted just as Tom might have predicted. Georg said a few choice swear words and made up a few of his own. Bill pat Tom on the back and reassured him that they'd be beside him the whole time. Gustav, on the other hand, tried as hard as he could to hide his true feelings as he offered to hang around in California but Tom heard him slam his fist into one of the transport cases at the back of the room as he stomped off.

"Tom?" Bill asked as he waved his hand in front of Tom's eyes. "Are you here?"

"What? Yeah. What?" Tom asked as he looked up. He had been lost in thought long enough for the room to empty completely.

"You coming?"

"Oh, yeah." Tom snapped back to reality, "Where's Bradyn?"

"Tayla has him. They're already on the bus." Bill nodded toward the exit as he squeezed Nadiehn's hand. "She's on our bus."

"Okay." Tom nodded and followed them expressionlessly out to the bus.

"Hey." Bill fell into step beside Tom. "Listen, we're heading back home on Monday but I can come back out here in a week if you want. That wasn't bullshit back there."

"No, I know." Tom forced a smile. "I'll be alright."

"I know you'll be alright." Bill nodded and smiled sideways at Tom. "I'm saying if you'd like some company or whatever, I'll fly out and we can hang out. I can watch the kid while you go do what you've gotta do or whatever."

"Thanks." Tom nodded. "I'll keep that in mind."

Bill nodded though he knew Tom would never call him and ask him to come out. He looked over at Nadiehn and nodded. He'd be coming back to California and she knew that.

----------------

When they got back to the hotel Tom tried his best to put the impending court case out of his mind as he and Bradyn made the rounds. They partied until Tom could hardly stand and Bradyn slept on Tom's shoulder. "How can he sleep through this?" Bill laughed as he rubbed Bradyn's head.

"He's exhausted." Tom shrugged. "We're gonna head out."

"It's early!"

"Yeah but this party's over." Tom smiled and moved Bradyn out from under Bill's hand. "We'll catch up with you tomorrow. You're here until Monday right?"

"Sunday." Bill shook his head. "Monday I'll be shoveling down grandma's banana pancakes for breakfast."

"Sounds like a plan." Tom bounced Bradyn up a little higher to give his arm a rest. "Catch up with me before you leave."

"Yeah, of course I will." Bill nodded and turned serious for a minute. "Things will work out. One way or another, things will work out just like God planned."

"I know." Tom nodded. He was truly touched that the guys cared.

"I'll come bang on your door tomorrow." Bill smiled and gave Tom a quick one-armed hug. "G'night."

"See ya." Tom waved with his free arm and headed for the door. He touched base with a few other people on his way out. He pulled Seppel and Saki from their position by the wall to escort him back to his room.

He let himself into the dark room and held the door open with his foot to let a little of the light from the hall in. Tom spotted the bed about three feet from the wall up ahead so he let the door close behind him then he followed the wall.

Tom's knee found the bed before his hand did and he almost fell face forward onto the bed with Bradyn there to pad his fall. "Damn!" He whispered loudly. Tom stood up for a minute to let his eyes adjust before he lay Bradyn on the bed and pulled his little shoes off. He tossed them towards the open suitcase in the corner, followed by Bradyn's jeans. "Shirt, diaper and socks. Now there's a hot combo." Tom laughed softly to himself.

Bradyn took a deep breath and rolled onto his side as he pulled his knees up to his chest. Tom sighed and watched Bradyn for a few minutes to make sure he stayed asleep. He shuffled into the bathroom to change and brush his teeth. He leaned on the counter with his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth and stared at his eyes. The lines around them seemed deeper than before, and the bags underneath seemed darker. He was tired and it showed. Physically, mentally and emotionally, he was exhausted.

For a split second he thought. "If only Bradyn was never dropped off." He shook the thought from his head as a feeling of guilt filled his chest. "Tom, what's the matter with you?" He asked his reflection. But he knew what he meant. If Bradyn had never been dropped off, he wouldn't be feeling this way. He'd be out celebrating with the guys, making plans with Carrie about how to spend his time off, possibly planning a trip to Greece.

But since Bradyn had been dropped off, he also knew that he wouldn't trade him for any of that. He wouldn't give up one day with Bradyn to stay out all night partying. He wouldn't want to feel any other way. The worry and the compassion were new to him and he needed those emotions to feel human. And, of course Carrie. She had shown her true colors when Bradyn showed up and he wouldn't trade even a second with Bradyn to have her back.

Tom spit into the sink then held his mouth under the running water to rinse before splashing the cool water on his face. Life would be different without Bradyn, that was for sure, but certainly not better. He walked out to the bedroom in the dark and let his eyes readjust as he ran his fingers along the comforter on the bed to guard his knees from bashing into the side again.

Tom sank into his bed and pulled Bradyn closer to him. They'd gone through the phase where they shared the same bed but Tom had finally gotten over that. Right then all he wanted was to hold Bradyn tight and to never let go.

For two years Tom had a son that he knew nothing about yet, in the span of four months, he'd bonded with the little boy more than he could have even imagined. Six months ago a child was the very last thing on Tom's mind. He had barely given them a second thought but, as he lay there with his son's head inches from his chest, smelling slightly of the maple syrup he'd dribbled on himself that morning, Tom couldn't picture the future without him. For the first time fear found it's way into the pit of Tom's stomach as he realized that all of this was real. It wasn't just a game. The possibility of actually losing Bradyn was more real than ever.

Chapter Five