The Muses Within

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Das Letzte Lied - Chapter Two

They arrived in San Francisco three hours later and only stopped at the hotel long enough to let Georg out. The bus drove them out to the stadium where their stage was already set up.

"Do not go to the hotel, do not rest, do not pass Go, do not collect $200." Gustav sighed as he, Bill and Tom filed into the side door of the arena.

"Tom?" Saki called from the door. He held Bradyn's tiny hand in his as he held the door open. "We need his bag."

"Shit." Tom rolled his eyes and turned around so sharply he almost slammed into Gustav. He ran back to the bus and bounced up the little steps to the sitting area. The red backpack was on the floor by the chair so he checked the contents then zipped it and threw it over his shoulder.

Tom caught up with the others on the stage and tossed the backpack to Tobi. "Can you get that to Bradyn?"

"Yeah." Tobi held the bag at his side and watched as the four guys walked around the stage just checking things out. "Where's Listing?"

"Getting his eyes checked." Gustav tapped at his temple.

"He okay?"

"Yeah, we all have regular check ups. It's just his turn this week." Gustav laughed and sat behind the drum kit.

"Okay, guys. Get your head in the game. Let's get the sound check started. Today boys." Their stage coordinator clapped his hands and got everyone's attention.

They went through their sound check then headed back to the cafeteria to get something to eat before the show. The venue would be filling up soon and they didn't have that much spare time. David showed up as they finished their dinner and handed Bradyn and his bag to Tom. "Here you go. Tobi gave him some dinner so he should be cool."

"Wait, David. I have go to wardrobe and get ready." Tom complained.

"Well, now you've got a tag-a-long." David shrugged and ruffled Bradyn's short hair. "See you later, Bradyn."

Bradyn waved halfheartedly and held his stuffed dog close. "Bye."

"Shit." Tom said under his breath as Gustav walked by.

"Watch your mouth." Gustav frowned.

"Yeah okay, mom."

"I mean it. At his age, kids pick up all kind of talk and the last thing you want is a two year old cussing you out."

"Yeah." Tom rolled his eyes and lugged Bradyn out into the hall. He had twenty minutes to be done with wardrobe and he was already late.

Bradyn cruised around the dressing room as the guys got ready for the show. They were running later than usual and tension was running high. Tayla was gone for the evening at a fashion show nearby to check out some designs for some upcoming awards shows so the guys were on their own as far as their wardrobe went. Everything was set up and ready to go but if anything major came up they'd have to rely on each other.

"How come my pockets are stitched closed?" Georg asked as he tried to put his hands in the pockets of his pants.

"Tayla does have a sense of humor."

"Where am I supposed to put my hands?"

"While you're playing your bass? I would think you'd want them on the bass." Bill laughed.

"Toss me the scissors." Georg held his hand out to Tom who was closest to the blue handled scissors on the table.

"No, just leave it. She can fix it tomorrow." Tom shook his head.

"Or I could just fix it right now." Georg sighed.

"You could also cut it wrong and end up having a huge hole in your pants." Gustav pointed out.

"Just leave them until tomorrow." Tom sighed. "Bradyn get out of there." He watched as Bradyn reached into the large tub of ice.

"He's okay." Georg frowned.

"He'll get ice all over the floor." Tom shook his head. "I swear, I never knew kids could make such big messes out of every little thing."

"He's okay." Bill reached over and picked up a piece of ice. "Here you go, Bradyn. Don't drop it, okay?"

"Kay." Bradyn smiled up at Bill and took the square piece of ice. He held it tight in his fist and smiled as it began to melt and drip on his shoes. "Oh! Code!"

"Ice is really really cold, huh?" Bill laughed and scooped Bradyn up to set him in the couch. "There you go. You can sit right there while we get ready."

"Where's E-L-M-O?" Georg asked. He spelled out the doll's name in case he was accidentally left on the bus.

"On the bus." Bill nodded.

"His dog thing is in his bag." Tom nodded toward the red backpack at the end of the couch.

"Lello? Okay." Georg unzipped the backpack and tossed the floppy yellow dog at Bradyn. "There's Lello. Hang out with him while we get dressed, okay?"

"Kay." Bradyn watched the water drops run from his closed hand to the couch cushion.

"See? No problem." Georg smiled up at Tom who just shook his hand and turned his attention to his racks of clothes.

The guys got themselves dressed in their performance gear. Tom sat himself on the couch to double tie his shoes and smiled. "He's completely passed out."

Bradyn was curled up in the corner of the couch with his dog hugged to his chest. His mouth hung open slightly and Tom could hear a soft snore. For a moment Tom wondered if he snored too.

"Tom? You ready?" Gustav tapped on the door frame.

"Yeah." Tom stood up and left the room without looking back. They had a show to do and he needed to be completely focused on that. He followed Gustav down to the side of the stage where they met up with the other two guys. They hyped each other up before they took their positions behind the stage as their adrenaline coursed through their veins. It was show time.

----------------

They left the stage at the end of their show and headed for the dressing room. They were anxious to release the energy that the show had created. "I can't believe how loud it gets out there." Gustav laughed as he blew out his breath and ran his hands through his sweat soaked hair. "I swear, it gets louder every night."

"Just turn your hearing aid down." Bill laughed as he ran by and shoved Gustav out of the way.

"Keep it up, Kaulitz." Gustav threatened him with a playful smile. He and Georg headed straight for the showers across from the dressing room.

Tom shook his head and laughed as he pushed the dressing room door open. "It's crazy how every night is that insane." Bill followed him into the room and kicked the door shut as he peeled his shirt off over his head.

"Where's Bradyn?" Bill frowned as Tom dropped himself on the couch.

"Huh?" Tom covered his eyes with his arm.

"Bradyn." Bill looked behind the couch and lifted the small pile of discarded clothes.

"I don't know." Tom mumbled.

"Tom. He's not here."

"He was asleep on the couch when we went on stage."

"And where are you laying right now?" Bill asked sarcastically as he looked around the racks of clothes.

Tom thought about that for a second then jumped up with a surge of adrenaline. He looked back down at the couch certain he'd just crushed Bradyn. There was nothing there but the dark brown cushions and Tom started to relax a little.

"I'm gonna call Tayla." Bill said as he searched through his bag for his phone.

"Tayla? Why?"

Bill stopped his search and stood up. He'd had about enough of Tom's attitude toward the little boy. "Because your two-year-old son is missing, Tom! Wake up, you asshole! You can't keep on ignoring the fact that you're a father now! Grow the fuck up!" He tossed his towel at Tom and stormed out of the room to find Tayla himself.

"Tayla?" Bill asked as he bounced up the steps to the bus she rode on. She turned around in her seat and held her finger to her lips. "Sorry." Bill whispered as he stepped into the little sitting area. Bradyn was asleep on the narrow couch wrapped snugly in a black and white fleece blanket.

"Where's Tom?" Tayla whispered.

"Inside." Bill knelt beside her chair. "Do you want me to take him back to our bus?"

"No, he's okay here." She sighed. "We need a system for show nights. I don't mind watching him but I have to know."

"He was sleeping."

"He woke up." Tayla looked up and met his eye as she pulled her cardigan tighter. "Tobi found him wandering around by the cafeteria."

"Thanks for keeping an eye on him." Bill glanced back at the sleeping boy and smiled.

"You're not the one who needs to thank me." Tayla sighed again and pulled her feet up under her.

"I'm sure Tom thanks you too, Tayla. He couldn't do this without you."

"He can't do it period. He has no desire whatsoever to-" She stopped herself and cleared her throat. "Never mind. Just tell Tom I'll bring Bradyn to his room in the morning before my team meeting."

"Okay." Bill nodded and used the back of her chair to push himself up. "Wait, we're driving tonight."

"You guys check in at six." Tayla sighed. "My meeting is at seven so I'll drop him off before that, okay?"

"Works for me." Bill nodded. "Thanks."

"Uh huh." She nodded and opened her book again as Bill yawned behind her and bounced back down the stairs.

----------------

The next morning Tayla stood in the hall with Bradyn in her arms as she knocked on Tom's door. "Knock knock." Bradyn said with a big smile.

"That's right. Knock knock on Daddy's door." She said without even a hint of a smile. "I think he's sleeping."

"He seepin?"

"Yeah, I think so." Tayla sighed and knocked again. She heard the sounds of movement from inside and was surprised when Tom opened the door fully clothed.

"Hey, Tayla." He mumbled as he wiped the sleep out of his eyes.

"Here. I have my meeting to go to." She handed Bradyn to Tom and dropped the child's backpack by his feet.

"Okay. Thanks." He ran his free hand over his head as Bradyn stared up at him in wonder. Tayla turned and walked up the hall as Tom shut the door and left them in darkness.

"Seep?" Bradyn asked.

"Yeah, sleep sounds good." Tom nodded and set Bradyn down on the bed. He crawled back under the covers and rested his head on the pillow.

Bradyn sat on the bed for a minute and watched Tom get comfortable. He scooted to the end and crawled off. He went to his backpack by the door and dragged it over to the side of the bed. Bradyn sat on the floor between the bed and the air conditioner and tried to unzip his backpack by himself. After several tries he got it open enough to pull out his dump truck and Elmo doll.

The trucks plastic wheels made no sound as Bradyn ran it over the carpet, picking up little pieces of discarded paper and strings. "Beep beep!" He laughed as he ran his truck into the leg of the bed. Bradyn played on the floor for a little while before growing tired of his truck and picking up his Elmo doll.

Bradyn bounced the bright red doll over the floor a few times before eliciting the sound he'd been waiting for. A high pitched giggle came from the doll and Bradyn laughed out loud. He squeezed the doll again making it laugh and shake in Bradyn's hands.

"Toooooom." He lobbed the doll onto Tom's bed and then climbed up after him. "Hi!" Tom didn't stir as Bradyn climbed over his legs and crawled up to Tom's face. He took his tiny fingers and pulled Tom's eyelid up, poking him in the eye in the process.

"Ow!" Tom scooted away from the intrusion. "Bradyn-"

"Seepin."

"You woke me up to tell me I was sleeping?" Tom asked as he buried his head back in the pillow. He hoped for another 15 minutes of peace.

"Yeah."

"Thanks." He sighed and resigned. There was no going back to sleep now. "Okay. I'm up." Tom pushed himself into a sitting position and yawned as he stretched his arms over his head. "I don't know about you but I need some food."

"Have cookie?"

"No, we can't have cookies for breakfast." Tom stood up and cracked his back. "How about bagels? You like bagels?"

"Yeah." Bradyn nodded as if he knew.

"Let me go to the bathroom first and we'll go get some bagels or something." Tom rubbed his hand over Bradyn's head and yawned as he stumbled into the bathroom to do his business. "Don't go touching anything out there this time." Tom warned from behind the half closed bathroom door. He quickly pulled the door all the way open and looked at Bradyn still standing by the bed.

"Hi." Bradyn smiled.

"Hi." Tom smiled back and shook his head. He disappeared back into the bathroom. He pulled on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt that could almost be considered a dress before he stepped back out into the room. "Right. You need some clothes." He looked at Bradyn with his hands on his hips.

"Yeah, shuss."

"Yeah, we have your shoes." Tom mumbled. "Okay, let's get you dressed." He took the clothes Bradyn had on the day before and a diaper and laid Bradyn down on the bed. "I will never get used to this." He grumbled as he pulled the diaper out from under Bradyn. He quickly placed the new one under his bare bottom.

Tom dressed Bradyn in the jeans from the day before but the shirt was stained with what Tom could only guess was spaghetti sauce. He tore Bradyn's little bag apart to find another shirt but only came up with the wrinkled button down shirt Tayla had picked up the other day. He shrugged and pulled Bradyn's arms through the holes then buttoned it up and tried to tug the wrinkles out of it to no avail.

"Oh hell, that's the style right? Slept in? Shit, just look at me." He laughed and took Bradyn's hand. "Let's go. We need some food."

"Lello."

"No, leave the toy here."

"But Lello eat."

"Lello can eat here. You can bring something back for him." Tom pulled Bradyn's hand as they left the room and walked down the hall to where there was a buffet style breakfast set up.

Tom yawned as they walked in the door and scratched at his jaw line. The room was half filled with other crew members standing around the perimeter, half of which Tom didn't recognize. They walked down the buffet line and Tom picked some breakfast then headed for the table by the sliding glass door.

Bradyn sat at the little table with a blueberry bagel in front of him as Tom poured orange juice for both of them. "Eat up." Tom picked up the huge bagel and handed it to Bradyn who just looked at it.

"Damn, that's a huge bagel." Gustav laughed and sat across from them. "Can you eat that?"

"Yeah." Bradyn lifted the bagel to his mouth and tried to take a bite but only managed to leave teeth marks.

"Here. Let me tear that up for you." Gustav held out his hand and Bradyn gladly held it out to him. "Eggs are easier. You should have just gotten him that."

"He likes eggs?" Tom asked. "He said he wanted a bagel."

"Did he say 'I want a bagel' or did he just say 'yeah' when you asked him?"

"What difference does it make?"

"The difference is that he says 'yeah' to almost everything." Gustav shook his head and tore a few bite sized pieces off of the bagel and handed them to Bradyn. "There you go, buddy. Try that."

"Is a baygo." Bradyn smiled.

"Yep, that's a good looking bagel." Gustav nodded then stood up and went back to the mini buffet to get the kid some eggs.

Bradyn's little jaw worked intently as he chewed the first bite of the bagel. He took a sip of his tiny glass of orange juice. "Juss." Bradyn smiled.

"That's juice, yeah." Tom nodded and took a bite of his own bagel. "Do you like it?"

"Yeah."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Bradyn nodded and reached for another bite.

"Cool."

"Cool."

"Here you go, eggs. Yum!" Gustav set a small plate of scrambled eggs in front of Bradyn.

"No baygo?" Bradyn asked as he looked at the plate.

"You can have the bagel too."

"Baygo too?" Bradyn asked. "Juss too?"

"Yeah, bagel and juice too." Gustav nodded and took a bite of his cereal.

"Wicked." Bradyn nodded and reached for a bite of the eggs.

"He's cool." Gustav smiled at Tom.

"He's a riot." Tom sighed. "My head is a mess. What time are we meeting today?"

"Eight thirty." Gustav checked his watch then looked Tom over. "You're wearing that?" Tom's jeans looked worn and he was barefoot.

"I'm gonna throw some shoes on, but yeah. Why?"

"Well I- No, that's cool." Gustav shook his head and ate his breakfast. "What's Bradyn up to today?"

"Um, I'm not sure. He's coming with us this morning to our shoot and I guess wherever we're going today. Tayla is meeting with whoever it is she meets with to get us clothes so, yeah, he's coming with us." Tom shrugged with ambivalence.

"Actually he's going to be with Tayla this afternoon." David said as he walked up. "You guys are doing a hospital visit and he won't be able to go."

"When does she get him?" Tom looked up quickly.

"When we're done with the location photo shoot and People Magazine blurb." David explained and with that the morning routine started.

After a quick lunch at the People Magazine West Coat offices, they stopped back at the hotel to drop Bradyn off with Tayla for the afternoon.

"He needs clothes." Tom said as he handed Bradyn's bag to Tayla.

"Okay?"

"Can you get them? Or who do I talk to about getting them?" Tom asked.

Tayla sighed and tried not to roll her eyes. "No, don't worry about it. I'll go get clothes and stuff. Is there anything else?"

"No, that's all. All the clothes he has are dirty so he needs new stuff."

"Got it. New clothes." Tayla nodded and took Bradyn's hand. "Come on, buddy. We're going shopping."

"We go ou-side?" Bradyn looked up at her and smiled.

"Yeah, we're going outside." She grinned down at the little boy then turned to his father. "We'll just meet you at the venue tonight. I need to be there at three to set up so we'll be there when you get there at five."

Tom shrugged. "Well you'll probably have him for the show too, so-"

Tayla shook her head. She had expected as much, "Yes but from three until five I'll be doing my job with Bradyn tagging along. From five until seven thirty, when you guys have to be dressed, I need to make some calls." She sighed as Bradyn danced around her feet. "So from five on you'll need to find someone to watch him."

"I have a double-time sound check and meet and greet." Tom argued.

Tayla just shrugged and gave him a look. "Well, I'm sorry to hear that." She tugged Bradyn's hand and together they left Tom in the hall by his door.

----------------

The children's clothing store was almost empty when Tayla and Bradyn walked in that afternoon. Bradyn immediately headed for the little director's chairs set up in front of a TV screen playing Disney movies and a box of toys.

"Hi! Can I help you find anything?"

"I just need to get a few outfits." Tayla smiled and flipped through the nearest racks. She was so used to dealing with personal shoppers or designers directly that it felt almost weird to be talking to the sales woman.

"For this little cutie?" She asked with a sugary sweet smile.

"Yes." Tayla returned the smile and held out a little pair of navy blue shorts. "Do you have a bag or something? I think I'm going to end up with my hands full."

"Sure!" The girl ducked behind her counter and produced a wicker looking basket for Tayla.

"Thanks." Tayla took the basket and went to town searching for outfits to mix and match, pajamas, socks and another few pairs of shoes. She kept an eye on Bradyn the entire time but he was so interested in the cartoons on TV that he barely moved.

Tayla paid for the clothes at the front register and cringed. The child's clothes cost almost as much as her own. "Okay, buddy. You ready to go?"

"Minute?"

"No, not in a minute. Let's go now." Tayla held her hand out to him.

"Go bye?"

"Yeah, come on. We can go get a hot dog, yum!" She licked her lips and laughed as Bradyn jumped from his chair and ran to grab her hand.

"Juss too."

"Juice too." She smiled and they left the store hand in hand.

They spent the next hour getting other kid's supplies that she knew they would need, diapers, wipes, little toys and a few little sippy cups to avoid the messes he had made with regular cups.

Tayla had them back at the hotel to catch the caravan over to the venue by three. She tried to keep Bradyn entertained with his new toys as she got the wardrobe racks set up in the dressing room and double checked everything. She hopped on the phone to talk to the management team to discuss wardrobe coordination for upcoming performances.

Bradyn took his new pop-up book and sat cross-legged on the couch to flip through it. He 'read' it out loud, making up words of his own as he went along. The new books and toys kept him entertained so well that Tayla forgot to drop him off with Tom at five when they arrived at the venue. It was almost six before she even looked at her watch. "Oh, honey, I'll bet you're starving." She frowned at her own forgetfulness and bent to clean up Bradyn's toys. "Okay, I don't think this is all going to fit in your backpack though. We're gonna need to get you a bigger bag to fit all these new clothes and toys." She laughed as Bradyn slid off the couch and yawned.

"My toys?"

"Yeah, we need to pack up your toys." Tayla scoured around in the storage units and found a medium sized duffel bag. "This should work." She loaded his gear into it and dropped it by the door where she wouldn't forget it. "All set. Let's go eat."

"Yum!" Bradyn laughed and took her hand as he bounced for the door with Lello under his arm.

"Do you like pizza? I think that's what we're having tonight."

"Yeah!" Bradyn shouted as he pulled her arm.

"Cool." Tayla laughed and quickened her pace to keep up with the energetic two year old attached to her fingers.

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"Hey Tom?" Bill tapped his fingers on the top of Tom's roll around closet as he got dressed for the show.

"Yeah?" Tom looked up with tired eyes. He slid his foot into his shoe then tied it tight while leaning over.

"We hafta talk about this whole thing." Bill scooted the metal folding chair closer to where Tom was sitting on the bench and sat down.

"Not now." Tom shook his head and scratched at his chin as he tilted his chair back on two legs.

"The other day Gustav reminded me about something and I think you wanna hear it. I think we know who Bradyn's mom is. Kind of."

"What?!" Tom sat up quickly and almost toppled over. "What?"

Bill gave Tom a look that said he had better just listen. "Three years ago my friend Roxi was doing a play called Sheer Madness so I made you and Gustav fly down with me. We all went out that night and got a little tipsy. I went back to the hotel with Roxi." He cleared his throat. "You left with her friend."

Tom's ears turned bright red. "When?"

"April Fool's day, 2007." Bill said softly. "We were going to play a prank on Benjamin and call him to tell him we wouldn't make it back for the show the next night."

"You're sure?" Tom tried to catch his breath.

"Yeah." Bill nodded. "We checked the dates with Benjamin."

"And you're sure about this?"

"Yeah." Bill nodded.

"So, shit." Tom pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes. "So I fucked up?"

"I don't know, Tom. It's a safe assumption. You left with her. Looking at the situation now it all comes together."

"Who is it?"

"That's what I don't know. I barely remember the night myself, forget about remembering the name of a friend of a friend."

"She would know though, right? Your friend?"

Bill paused. "Yeah. Roxi would probably know."

"So call her and see." Tom said quickly.

"Tom, I can't just call her now after three years."

"You have to!" Tom ran his hand over his face. "You have to, Bill. We have to find out who she is so I can knock some sense into her."

"I wouldn't know how to reach h-"

"You keep everything! You have her number somewhere. Come on, Bill. You have to help me out here." Tom pleaded.

For a second Bill thought about telling Tom that they'd all helped enough over the last few days but instead he just sighed. "I'll see what I can find out tomorrow. It's too late to do anything tonight."

"Thanks, Bill." Tom stood up and affectionately slapped Bill on the back. "I just want to try to figure this out, you know?"

"I know." Bill nodded. He sighed and pushed himself up, leaving Tom alone in the little room.

----------------

After the show they were shuttled back to the hotel where they all collapsed into bed. They had to be up early again to leave for the next city on their calendar. Another long day on the bus with recirculated air and card games.

Tom gingerly laid Bradyn on the extra bed in his room and pulled the blankets up to his chin. Tayla had already changed him into some new looking race car pajamas. Tom went to turn the light off when something caught his eye. The expression on Bradyn's face made Tom's heart skip a beat and his breath catch in his throat. His mind raced back to the old photo book his mom liked to drag out every chance she got. The first picture in the book was of he and Bill sound asleep under the Christmas tree with expressions that looked like a cross between a smile and a frown. The exact expression Bradyn wore as he slept three feet away.

"Wow." Tom whispered as he leaned closer to get a good look. "Creepy." Tom tried to mimic the expression but could only manage the frown half. "Gute nacht." He whispered as he gently placed his hand on Bradyn's back in his first loving gesture.

"He's really mine." Tom thought to himself as he turned the light off and went to bed. He fell asleep with mixed emotions as the realization sunk in. He was a father. Now what?

----------------

Tom stepped out into the hallway just after five the next morning with Bradyn in tow. The little boy was cranky and not at all happy to have to leave that early in the morning. "I ti-uhd." He whined.

"Yeah, so am I. You can sleep on the bus when we get there."

"Seep now?"

"In ten minutes." Tom sighed and leaned over to hitch up Bradyn's pajama bottoms. "She buys you new clothes and they don't even fit." He grumbled under his breath.

"No." Bradyn frowned and pushed Tom's hand away.

"Stop it. C'mon. They're sagging and you're gonna trip."

"I fall." Bradyn held his scowl and gave Tom a look that could kill.

"Yeah, you'll fall. So let me fix them."

"No." Bradyn pushed his hand away again and tried to pull out of Tom's grip.

"Fine. Fall." Tom stood up straight and practically dragged Bradyn down the hall toward David's room where they were meeting.

"Good morning, sunshine." Bill laughed as he fell into step beside them. "Your boy has saggy drawers there, Tom."

"Yeah, he likes them that way." Tom grumbled.

"He's gonna trip."

"Yeah." Tom nodded and reached down to hike up Bradyn's pants again.

"No!" Bradyn said loudly with a deep set frown.

Bill burst out laughing beside them. "My God! He's definitely yours. Check out his morning attitude. That's freaky man." He continued to laugh as they all walked down the hall together.

Tom and Bradyn checked in with David and grabbed two security guards before they headed down to the bus without waiting for the others. He was in a hurry to go back to sleep and Bradyn was thinking the same thing.

There were two spare bunks near the back so Tom grabbed two of the cushions off the couch and cornered Bradyn in one of the bunks to keep him from rolling out. Once he was sure the kid wasn't going anywhere, he climbed into his own bunk and went back to sleep. They never heard the others pile onto the bus a half hour later.

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They took several breaks on their fourteen-hour drive to Seattle including a picnic style lunch at a park. They spent more than an hour outside playing a little football and Nerf baseball just to get some fresh air. When they piled back onto the bus they were ready to chill out and take naps in the air-conditioned bunks.

"Hey, Tom?" Bill bumped his shoulder as he stood at the refrigerator putting the left overs away.

"Hmm?"

"Got a minute?"

"Right now?" Tom looked over his shoulder as he placed the bag of oranges in the little drawer.

"Yeah, I talked to Roxi." Bill sighed.

"How'd that go?" Tom shut the refrigerator door harder than necessary.

"You owe me. Big time. I'll go ahead and take that new Audi A1." Bill cringed remembering their relatively short conversation. The old anecdote about a woman scorned crossed his mind many times during the call and he vowed to never try to contact an ex after three years again.

"Ouch."

"Yeah." Bill nodded and consulted the slip of paper in his hand. "The girl she was friends with on that cast was Astrid Winter." He handed Tom another piece of paper with a black and white picture on it. "Roxi scanned and emailed me this little blurb in the program about her. But, uh- She said she was pretty sure that Astrid was using a stage name because her own last name was too long or too hard to pronounce, something like that."

"Shit." Tom rolled his eyes.

"The show wrapped about a month after we were there and Roxi hasn't heard from Astrid since."

"So we're back to square one?"

"Well, we know her name is Astrid something and she has brown hair and she's from New Jersey." Bill nodded at the paper in Tom's hand.

"Better than nothing." Tom sighed and looked at the girl staring back at him from the sheet of paper. It was sort of fuzzy and a little dark but he recognized her. He hadn't thought twice about that night in three years but now it was coming back in quick images and still shots.

Tom stared at the picture. He looked for hints of Bradyn in her but all he saw was her smiling face beaming back at him and the scattered words of praise for the rookie's outstanding work in her debut performance.

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The caravan of buses and trucks arrived in Seattle at almost nine that night. The trucks went straight to the venue to begin the stage set up while the buses dropped everyone at the hotel. The small radio in the front of the bus played in the background as they parked near the back of the hotel.

"I song." Bradyn perked up from his half asleep position on the couch.

"Hmm?" Tom interrupted his conversation with Gustav to look at the little boy. "What?"

"I song." Bradyn scooted off the couch and laughed as he scampered toward the radio.

"Whoa! Hey, don't touch that." Bill's hand covered the controls as Bradyn stopped short and smiled at the speakers.

"Dude, what's his deal?" Georg asked.

"I song." Bradyn laughed again and bounced his knees as he held his arms out to his sides for balance. "Rocket down!"

"What?" Tom looked from Bradyn to Gustav.

"He likes this song." Gustav chuckled and leaned over to turn the volume up. "Good choice."

The Stray Cat's Rock This Town blared from the speakers and raised the spirits of everyone on the bus. Gustav picked Bradyn up and danced with him around the little sitting area while Bill stood on the couch doing a funky dance and mimicking Georg as he played the air guitar.

"You've all lost your marbles." Tom laughed. He shook his head as Bradyn laughed hysterically to the big band sound coming from the radio. "It's good that he likes music though, huh?" Tom watched as Gustav spun Bradyn around then almost lost his balance as the bus stopped.

"He looked at me once. He looked at me twice. Look at me again and there's gonna be a fight! We're gonna rock this town. Rip this place apart." Gustav sang as he and Bradyn bounced down the little steps to the parking lot.

The crowd of girls erupted in screams as Gustav set foot off the bus more than twenty feet away from them. He waved quickly then dipped Bradyn to make him squeal with laughter as the others filed off the bus behind them. The security guards ushered them into the hotel and onto awaiting elevators where they rode up to their floor to get settled in their rooms.

David had checked them all in before they got there so all they had to do was collect their keys as they got off the elevator. After the scene on the bus Bradyn and the guys were wide awake and full of stored up energy collected while sitting on the bus all day.

Gustav went to Tom's room to play with Bradyn and tire him out a bit before he went to bed so that Tom could get some phone calls made. After an hour of catching alligators, Gustav stood up and yawned. "Okay, Bray. I'm tired."

"Go nye nye?"

"Yeah, it's time for this big kid to go night-night." Gustav stretched his arms over his head and looked down at Bradyn in his day clothes still. "Let's get you in your pajamas so you can go to bed too."

"I go?"

"Yeah, you're going to bed to."

"Go bye?" Bradyn started toward the door. He expected to leave with Gustav.

"No, you're going to stay here." He picked Bradyn up and dropped him on the bed to grab his pajamas out of the bag. Gustav changed him like an expert and talked to him the whole time.

"Rocket?" Bradyn asked with a sly smile.

"You like that song, huh?"

"I song." He nodded.

"That's your song, huh?" Gustav laughed.

"Yeah." Bradyn laughed with him and turned over to slide off the bed. His bare feet hit the floor with a soft thud and he walked over to the door. "Bye now?"

"No, you have to stay here and go to bed."

"I go." He insisted as he walked back to grab Gustav's hand and pulled him toward the door.

"No, I'm gonna go. You're gonna stay here." Gustav said but he followed the child anyway. "Hey Tom? I have to go man."

"Okay." Tom held the cell phone to his ear and waved over his head.

"Tom." Gustav said a little louder. Tom turned around to look as Gustav's pointed at Bradyn.

"Oh right." He jumped up and picked Bradyn up as he cradled the phone between his ear and his shoulder. "Okay, almost time for bed."

"Catch ya tomorrow." Gustav waved to both of them and ducked out of the room.

"Go bye?" Bradyn asked Tom with a quizzical look.

"Yeah Gustav went bye-bye." Tom mumbled and sat Bradyn on the floor in front of his little pile of toys. He returned to his call. "Carrie, I know you're pissed but that was-"

She cut him off with another tirade of words and it was another full minute before he could get a word in edgewise. "I wasn't calling you selfish, damn it! I just said that you're acting like a bitch over noth-"

She cut him off again and it became clear that he wasn't going to be making his point that night. "Carrie... Carrie... CARRIE!" He practically shouted which caused Bradyn to jump. "Stop for just two seconds. Listen to me. I said I'm sorry, okay? I screwed up one night three years ago. You're going to throw away everything we have over that?"

He listened to her breathe over the phone for a second without answering. "So now you're not going to talk to me?"

The silence was his answer.

"Good. Maybe I can talk for a second. I want to work this out, okay? This-" He searched for the right word. "This situation is a shock to both of us and we need time to adjust but I think in the end it'll all work out. I just need you to chill out and think about it for a minute." As soon as the words left his mouth he knew he'd chosen the wrong ones.

She spoke slowly and softly but got the point across. She felt betrayed and foolish and had no intentions of sticking around to play mother to this child. Her maternal instincts were not at all intact and Tom was the one that needed to grow up and take responsibility.

"So that's it?" Tom asked when she was done laying it out for him. He was answered with an audible sigh before she hung up. That was it.

"So that's it." He said softly to himself.

"Dass it?" Bradyn gave him a questioning glance.

"Yeah." Tom sighed and threw his phone toward his bed. "Fuck." He grumbled under his breath and hoped Bradyn wouldn't hear. He took a deep breath and ran his hands over his face.

"Daddy kay?" Bradyn asked as he scrambled up from the floor and placed his hand on the bed beside Tom's knee.

With those two little words Tom realized that Carrie didn't matter. The little boy in front of him, the son he never knew he had, was asking in his tiny toddler voice if he was okay. A fluttering in his chest startled him at first as he smiled down at Bradyn. "Yeah, I'm okay, buddy." He ran his hand over Bradyn's short hair then quickly kissed the top of his head. "It's time for bed, I think."

"We go seep?"

"Yeah."

"You too?"

"Me too."

"Kay." Bradyn walked over to the bed on the left which is the one he always chose. He used the nightstand to climb up onto it.

Tom put his hands on his knees and stood up to stretch. "Do you want your dog? Lello?"

"Have Lello." Bradyn reached under the pillow to pull the floppy yellow dog out. Tom tugged at the blanket and slid Bradyn under the covers.

"Daddy two da ma-sue?" Bradyn smiled up at Tom as he pulled the blanket up to Bradyn's shoulders.

"What?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Yeah."

"Me what?" Tom asked as he realized he was dipping into baby talk.

"Song."

"I don't know what you mean."

"You song."

"My song?" Tom gave him a look as he sat beside him.

"Yeah."

"I don't have a song."

"Two da ma-sue." Bradyn insisted.

"Two the muh-sue?"

"Yeah."

"I have no idea what you mean."

"Two da ma-sue song." Bradyn slurred his speech with tiredness. "Two da ma-suuue." He sang.

"Oh. Through the Monsoon?"

"Yeah song."

"You want me to sing it?"

"Song." Bradyn nodded.

"No, it's bedtime." Tom sighed. "Lights out."

"One?"

"All of them." Tom shook his head and switched the bedside light off. He crossed the room to shut the main light off then found his way back to his bed in the darkness. As he laid down he saw that it was almost eleven at night. He cringed inwardly thinking about how cranky Bradyn was going to be the next morning when they all had to get up at six.

Tom yawned and fluffed his pillow as Bradyn started to snore a few feet away. He found the sound oddly reassuring as he turned toward the wall to try to lull himself to sleep.

----------------

Tayla spent the next day meeting with fashion executives from D-Squared to try and come up with a design for the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame where they would be presenting in two months. The meeting wasn't over until almost three o'clock but they had everything down to the guys socks planned out. Tayla was pleased with the styles and prices, which was all that was important. The suits were classy but still had the hint of sass that made them stand out individually.

She went back to the hotel to take a shower and get ready for the show that night. She had a handful of new pants that needed to be altered and she planned on doing them before the show.

Tayla picked up her room key and dropped it in her pocket before she double checked her bag to make sure she had everything she needed. Once she was certain that she wasn't missing anything, she headed out to the elevators to catch one of the vans going to the venue.

"Hi!" Bradyn squealed as Tayla walked up. He pulled tight on Tom's hand as he tried to run over to her. Tom held firmly without looking up to see what had caught Bradyn's attention.

"Hey, Bray." Tayla smiled and tossed her bag over her shoulder. "You look tired, buddy." Tayla smiled as she ran her hand over Bradyn's head.

"He just woke up." Tom turned around and let go of Bradyn's hand so that he could run to Tayla.

"He just woke up? Tom, it's like four thirty. When did he go down?"

"After lunch." Tom shrugged.

"He took a four hour nap?" She shook her head. "He's never going to get to sleep tonight."

"He'll sleep fine." Tom yawned and covered his mouth as others arrived to wait with them at the elevator.

Tayla laughed softly. "He's going to be wired all night long."

"He'll be fine." Tom scowled.

"Hey, don't get mad at me. I'm just trying to help."

"He fell asleep after lunch. What was I supposed to do? We had a few hours of downtime so I used it to get caught up on the week's worth of shit I've accumulated. He's in my room tonight anyway so I don't know why you're so upset." Tom frowned.

"I'm not upset I just-" She shook her head. It was pointless. "Never mind. Sleep well tonight." She added sarcastically before she stormed off to wait for another elevator.

She rode to the venue in the van with David and some of the other tour leads. She felt herself get more and more upset as they drove. By the time they got to the venue she felt as though she had smoke coming out of her ears. Tom had no idea what he was doing and while he was running around too busy to figure it out, Bradyn was getting the shaft. The little boy would be up all night long and his internal clock would be thrown out of whack. Chances are he hadn't even eaten dinner yet either so that would be all messed up to.

It was one thing for the guys to screw around with their own schedules but Bradyn didn't have any kind of control over when he ate or slept. Tayla let herself get more upset than usual so when they pulled up at the side entrance she was on a rampage.

She followed the crew through the back stage area until she found the back entrance where the huge semi truck had backed its trailer up to the loading area. Tayla waited patiently for one of the gear guys to roll her covered racks off of the truck. She wheeled them inside one at a time and lined them up against the wall. She grabbed the first one and headed down the walkway toward the halls leading to the rooms.

Tayla held the door open with her foot and shoved the rack of clothes into the dressing room. She caught it on a corner of carpet. "Damn it." She growled as she pushed harder. "Come on!" Tayla shook the rack and held it tight.

"Whoa, don't kill it. Those are mine." Georg smiled as he walked up behind her. "Here. Let me get that." He squeezed past her and leaned over to hold the carpet down so she could push the rack into the room.

"Thank you." Tayla fumed as she followed the rack through the door.

"Is everything okay?" Georg asked from the doorway.

"Yes."

"You sure? You look like you're about ready to toss the rack." He laughed lightly.

"It's nothing." Tayla insisted. She was there to do her job, not to use the guys as therapists.

"Okay." Georg nodded and cleared his throat as he looked out into the hall. "Hey, uh- I know Tom doesn't say it much but thanks, Tayla. You know, for helping out with Bradyn and stuff. It's been a mess trying to keep track of him and knowing you're there to watch him is great."

Tayla sighed and rolled her eyes. Georg wasn't the one she wanted to hear the thank you from. "Georg, don't get me started."

"Okay." He shrugged and turned to leave.

"But you know what?" Tayla started before she could stop herself. "Bradyn is the greatest kid ever. He doesn't cry, he does what he's told, he doesn't whine or run around like a madman. I've never seen him throw a fit or be anything other than angelic. Tom has no idea how lucky he is or how good he has it. He doesn't deserve a kid like Bradyn." Tayla stopped herself quickly. She hadn't meant to throw insults around and that certainly wasn't a way to win points in this business. "I- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"No, you're right. He doesn't know how lucky he is." Georg nodded. "He's getting better though. He's trying."

"Georg, I appreciate the loyalty you have to Tom but he isn't trying."

"He is, Tayla. He's trying as much as he can. Tom's one of those guys that plans everything, you know? He has everything planned. He knows what he wants to do and when. Then out of nowhere this huge speed bump jerks him off course. He's just trying to find his footing."

"In the mean time this little two year old is getting lost in the shuffle."

"A tour is no place for a kid." Georg shook his head. "I'll be the first to agree with you there. But, when there's no other option, we've all got to make sacrifices."

"I've been making plenty." Tayla pouted.

"We all have." Georg nodded and fiddled with the buttons on the front of his shirt. "But none of us could do this without you. You're the one holding this tour together."

Tayla sighed and rubbed her eyes. "No pressure, huh?"

"No pressure." Georg laughed. "Give him a chance, Tayla. He's trying."

"He's making me cranky."

"Well, that's Tom." Georg shrugged. "Are you done assaulting my clothes now?"

"Yeah." She smiled slowly and shook her head. "But these are Bill's, not yours."

"You sure?"

"It's my job to be sure." Tayla laughed lightly and turned to push the rack into the corner. "Thanks, Georg. I needed that bitch fest."

"Anytime." He waved then ducked out the door to hurry to the meeting he was running late for.

"Tayla?" David asked as he poked his head in the dressing room. "Oh good, there you are."

"Yeah?" She straightened the clothes on the rack and turned to face the door.

"Guess who's here?" He slipped into the room with Bradyn in tow.

"Hey, buddy." Tayla smiled and crossed the room. "What's up?" She knelt to pick him up.

"Can you watch him?" David asked as he checked his watch.

"All night?" With the long nap he'd taken that afternoon he'd be up late and she was already tired.

"No, just for the show if you can." He smiled hopefully.

"David, I have tons of-" She let her sentence fall as Bradyn tugged at the hem of his shirt then smiled up at her. "Yeah, fine. I'll watch him."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." She sighed and placed her hand on Bradyn's head. "I'll give him to Tom before the guys leave tonight."

"Okay." David smiled and left before Tayla could change her mind.

"Okay, it's just you and me tonight." She smiled and ruffled his hair.

"Go bye?"

"We're not going to go bye-bye but we can go get some dinner. Are you hungry?" She asked.

"Yeah." He nodded up at her. "Hog-og?"

"Hot dog?" Tayla was getting better at his toddler talk. "I don't know if they have hot dogs but we'll find you something, okay?" He nodded slowly and reached for her hand.

They got themselves some dinner. Tayla cleaned him up and went back to get the rest of the rolling racks for the guys. With Bradyn standing on the bottom of the racks, Tayla got them all to the dressing rooms then went back to the bus to get the new pants that she hemmed and altered for the boys.

"Two da ma-sue." Bradyn mumbled to himself as he made Lello dance in the air.

"What are you saying, Bradyn?" Tayla smiled and picked him up.

"I song."

"You're singing?"

"Yeah." He nodded.

"Ahhh." Tayla shook her head. He was starting to take after his Uncle Bill. They walked around the perimeter hall to get to the dressing room on the opposite side of the venue.

----------------

"Nadiehn St. Romain. I'm on the list somewhere." The petite brunette sighed as the security guarded the list from her view. "S-T-R-O-M-A-I-N" She spelled it slowly and Tayla immediately recognized her as Bill's girlfriend.

"It's not on here." He shook his head and held the clipboard to his chest.

"Nadiehn!" Tayla shouted as she balanced Bradyn on her hip. She flung the three pairs of pants she was holding over her shoulder. "Hey! What are you doing here?"

"Trying to get in." Nadiehn laughed and retied her ponytail. "Help!"

"Hi, I'm Tayla. Can I help?" Tayla smiled as she walked up to the guard.

"She's not on the list and I can't let just anyone through here." He explained quickly.

"She's on there somewhere. Do you mind if I have a quick look?" Tayla tilted her head sweetly and looked down at her own badge. "Thanks." She took the chart and looked it over. "Here it is. They spelled out Saint." She pointed to Nadiehn's name on the list as Bradyn adjusted Lello in the crook of his arm.

"Thanks." Nadiehn smiled and signed the paper that the guard held out for her. She traded him the clipboard for a badge then stepped through the barricade. "How are you? This must be Bradyn." Nadiehn reached out and tickled the back of his neck.

"Yeah, this is Bradyn. Can you say hi to Nadiehn?" Tayla asked the little boy.

"Hi." He smiled showing a mouth full of tiny teeth. "Lello dog." He held the dog by his tail to show Nadiehn.

"Oh, is that your doggie? That's a great dog."

"Yeah, Lello." Bradyn insisted.

"Lello? That's his name? Hi, Lello." Nadiehn laughed and pet the stuffed dog. "He's a little chatter box." She smiled at Tayla.

"Yeah, he's been talking a lot lately." Tayla sighed and boosted him up on her hip. "Well, c'mon. I was on my way to the dressing room. The guys should be there pretty soon. Does Bill know you're here?"

"Yeah, I told him I was coming in for the show so he knows I'm supposed to be here." Nadiehn nodded and moved her purse to her shoulder. "But he doesn't know I'm here."

"Okay." Tayla smiled.

"So how are things?" Nadiehn put her hands in her pockets as they walked around the backstage area surrounded by the familiar sounds of stagehands shouting and the fans being let in.

"Good. Same old thing, ya know?"

"Except now there's a kid on the tour." Nadiehn laughed.

"Yeah." Tayla frowned.

"Are you stuck with him a lot?"

Tayla sighed. "I don't know about stuck but yeah I take care of him a lot. Tom is so busy all the time. He can't really change that. I probably have more free time than almost anyone so." She shrugged and mentally kicked herself for defending him.

"Well, yeah but that's still your time."

"I don't mind really. He's a good kid." Tayla smiled at Bradyn. "You're a good kid, aren't you?"

"Rrrraaarrr!" He made a scary face and bent his fingers in an innocent looking claw.

"Nooooo, you're a nice boy. You're not scary." Tayla laughed and tickled him under his chin.

"I scared." Bradyn laughed and made his scary face again.

"Okay, okay! You're scary." Tayla laughed and shook her head as she pulled the door to the dressing room open. "Anyone naked?" She shouted before she stepped in.

"Just Tobi." Gustav shouted.

"Shut it, Gustav." Tobi said in his deep voice and laughed. "If you don't mind underwear and back hair come on in."

"Ewwww!" Georg and Gustav erupted in laughter. "Hairy backs? Gross!" Gustav tossed his hat at Georg. "He was talkin 'bout you, monkey man."

"Not hardly." Georg laughed and tossed it back.

"Here you go, guys. Three new pairs of pants just for you." She set Bradyn on the floor to check the labels of the pants in her arms. "Bill?"

"He's on the phone." Georg shook his head as Bradyn immediately walked over and tried to tickle his bare thigh while he made his monster noises. "Whoa! We've got a monster in here!" Georg knelt to Bradyn's level and tickled his sides.

"Tom?" Tayla read the next label.

"Missing in action." Gustav shrugged.

"Of course." Tayla mumbled under her breath. "Okay, Mr. Schäfer, new pants for you."

"What about me?" Georg asked.

"You got yours a week ago." Tayla gave him a look. "You didn't blow out the seams or anything did you?"

"One of the cuffs is coming undone."

"Okay." She sighed. "Let me have them tonight and I'll figure something out. Are they okay for tonight?"

"Yeah." Georg shrugged and stood up. "Hi, Nadiehn."

"Hi, Georg." Nadiehn smiled from the doorway.

"Where's your man?"

"I was hoping you might know." She smiled and leaned against the wall.

Georg turned to Tobi. "Where's Bill?"

"I dunno. It's not my night to babysit him." Tobi laughed. "I swear sometimes we need to install you guys with homing devices so we'll know where you are all the time."

"Someone looking for me?" Bill asked as he walked into the dressing room.

"Hey, Billy-boo." Nadiehn's face lit up as she turned around to hug him.

"Hey! How was your flight?" He asked before he kissed her.

"Eh, it was long." She laughed and left her arm around his waist.

"Come back while I get ready." He nodded toward the curtained off areas in the back of the room. They walked hand in hand through the dressing room and the other guys snickered.

"How does he do that? He gets the girls that are right up the middle. Pretty but not drop dead gorgeous. Smart but not a brainiac. Sarcastic but not bitchy. Nice body but not rail thin." Georg shook his head.

"Yeah, there are so few of us around." Tayla smiled and tilted her head to the side wistfully.

Georg laughed and shook his head, "Yeah right, Tayla. Keep dreaming."

"What's that mean?" She raised her eyebrow. "I'm a drop dead gorgeous brainiac who's incredibly bitchy and rail thin?"

"I didn't say that."

"You don't want to go to the other extreme, Georg." She said cautiously.

"I'm gonna stop talking before I dig myself into a bigger hole." He laughed and walked toward the back of the room.

"Okay, Bradyn, you ready to go?"

"Go bye?" He asked.

"Not exactly." She shook her head. "We can go play games though. How about that?"

"Kay." Bradyn took her hand and looked up at her sweetly. "Daddy too?"

"No, I can't find your daddy." She sighed and shook her head. "Do you want to go look for him?"

"Yeah." Bradyn gave her a half smile and let Lello dangle by his ear from his hand. "Look daddy."

"Okay." She held the door open then called over her shoulder, "Hey! If there are any problems page me."

"Okay!" Gustav and Georg shouted.

"And if Tom shows up let him know I'm looking for him." She added.

"Okay." They said in unison again.

"Let's go." She smiled down at Bradyn as they headed out in search for Tom. She made it into a game where they'd look behind doors and under tables like spies and he had a great time. After an hour of looking they still couldn't find him.

They stopped at the cafeteria and got a snack before heading back to the dressing rooms where they finally found Tom getting ready. They had only another fifteen minutes to dress so they were rushed.

"Is daddy!" Bradyn laughed as Tom ran by.

"Yeah, there he is." Tayla fought the urge to roll her eyes.

"Hey, guys! Wanna keep me company." Nadiehn patted the couch beside her as she turned on the little TV in the corner.

Tayla didn't usually hang out in the dressing room unless she was working but Nadiehn was a friend and she didn't have anything better to do. "How'd you get stuck in here?"

"Bill had to get ready." She shrugged.

"Did you at least get to visit a little?" Tayla raised her eyebrow knowingly.

"A little." Nadiehn nodded with a slight blush.

"Cool. They should be almost done in there." Tayla pointed out as she sat. Bradyn parked himself at the end of the couch and pulled a truck out of his ever-handy backpack.

"Yeah, then they have to meet with David or whoever." Nadiehn sighed. "I'd go nuts with a schedule like that."

"I don't know how they keep sane." Tayla laughed. Just then a chorus of "Bad boys, bad boys. Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?" Echoed from the back area followed by a ripple of laughter.

"Ahhh! They're coming!" One of them shouted.

"You were saying?" Nadiehn laughed and turned the channel to MTV.

"I take it back. The sanity is gone."

"So what's the deal with Bradyn?" Nadiehn asked softly as he played by their feet.

"He's Tom's." Tayla shrugged and turned the volume on the TV down.

"Yeah but Bill said they don't know who the mom is? I mean, basically there's no way to trace her? That's just odd." She shook her head. "How's Tom dealing with it?"

"Ugh, don't get me started." Tayla rolled her eyes. "Honestly."

"Daddy song?" Bradyn turned around suddenly.

"Hmm?"

"Daddy song?" He asked again.

"I don't know what you mean, honey." Tayla patted his back and handed him his other book.

"My word! Look at that man." Nadiehn stared at the TV screen.

"Ooo, can I borrow him?" Tayla laughed. "Who is that?"

"Eminem."

"Not bad. I didn't recognize him without his clothes." Tayla laughed and looked at the screen where shirtless Eminem was playing basketball with some other stars for a celebrity game on MTV.

"Not bad at all. I wouldn't kick him outta bed for eating crackers, that's for sure." Nadiehn laughed.

Bill quietly cleared his throat as he leaned on the door frame. "What was that?" He smiled and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Caught red handed." Tayla smiled and stood up. "That's my cue to leave." She scooped Bradyn up in her arms and grabbed his backpack. "See you later." Tayla laughed and headed for the door.

"What were you saying? Something about crackers?" Bill asked when the door swung shut.

"I said I want to lay in bed and eat Ritz crackers." She smiled with a blush and walked over to where he stood.

"Ha ha ha." He pretended to laugh. "Yeah that's what I thought."

"Like I'd pass you up for him." She kissed him quickly and patted his cheek. "You're too cute."

"Stop while you're ahead." Bill gave her a knowing look. "Are you going to hang back here tonight?"

"No, I'm going out front when the openers are done." She smiled. "I want to experience the whole show."

"Cool." Bill wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. She wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled as she leaned in to rest her forehead against his. They stood that way for a minute without saying a word.

"You don't really want him do you?" Bill broke the silence. "Because I mean, I could arrange-"

"No! No, the only one I want is you." She kissed him again only to be interrupted a second later.

"Hey, don't mind me! Just pretend like I'm not even here." Georg said loudly as he dropped his heavy shoes to the floor.

"Ahh, that was Ruined Moment brought to you today by the letters G and L." Bill said in his best DJ voice. He laughed lightly and took a step back. "You should get out there anyway."

"Okay." She smiled reluctantly. "I'll see you after the show."

He brushed his lips past hers again then watched as she turned to leave.

"Bye, Georg."

"Bye, Nadiehn." Georg waved with a smirk as she flew out the door.

----------------

When the show was over, Bradyn was still very much awake and getting cranky. Tayla carried him to the dressing room area to wait for the guys to get showered and cleaned up. Several people passed on their way out to break down the stage but the dressing room door remained closed. She a about ready to go knock when it burst open and Georg appeared with his hair dripping down the back of his pull over sweatshirt.

"Hey, Georg?" He didn't hear her so she repeated herself little louder. "Georg!"

He turned around and took three steps backward. "Yeah?"

"Is Tom sill in there?"

"Yeah, I think so." He nodded and wiped his forearm over his lips.

A small group of people brushed by them in the hall and Georg disappeared with the crowd. When Tayla turned around to watch the dressing room door she saw Tom and Bill walking toward the exit with one of their bodyguards. "Tom!" Tayla shouted as he headed for the door. "Hang on a second."

Tom glanced over his shoulder at the sound of his name and cringed. It was too late to avoid it now. He slapped Bill on the shoulder then walked back to Tayla. "Yeah?"

"Here you go. I have to finish up here." She handed him Bradyn's red backpack. Tom took it in one hand then took Bradyn's hand in the other. "The car seat is already in your van."

Bradyn tugged at his hand and tried to pry himself away from Tom with a frown. Tom stooped to pick him up and held him on his hip as the child squirmed. "No! Dow."

"I'm not putting you down, Bradyn. We're going out to the car."

"Tayla, dow." He reached out for Tayla and started to cry.

"See? He wants to stay with you."

"Too bad." She shook her head. "I have to wheel all those racks to the truck bay and I can't do that with him."

Tom held Bradyn tighter and tried not to drop the backpack. "Hang on, buddy."

"Good night, Bradyn. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay." Tom nodded and lifted the backpack up so he could cover his yawn with his forearm.

"Good luck." She didn't so much as crack a smile as she crossed her arms and walked away. She headed back to the dressing room to separate out the dirty clothes that needed to be laundered before she wheeled the racks of clean clothes down the long hall.

Tayla rode back to the hotel with three other crew members in a private van a little while later. She was exhausted and couldn't wait to get a full night's sleep. She wasn't expected anywhere until almost noon and, since Bradyn would be with Tom, she would be able to sleep in as late as she wanted.

Tayla smiled contentedly as she closed her eyes and leaned her head against the cool window. She could definitely use a solid ten hours of sleep.

----------------

Tom never felt the little boy's hand slip from his and he didn't notice something was wrong until they were off the elevator and he was standing in front of his door. He looked down at the key in his hand and frowned. "I'm forgetting something." He thought to himself. Tom wracked his brain and looked at what he held in his hand. His duffel bag, his room key, his jacket, Bradyn's backpack. Bradyn!

"Bradyn?" Tom turned around anxiously and looked down the almost empty hall. "Georg, where's Bradyn?"

Georg shrugged and pushed his door open. "Did you lose him again?"

"I'm serious, Georg! Where is he?" Tom dropped his bags and key as he ran back to the elevators. "Seppel! Seppel, have you seen Bradyn?" He shouted down the hall at their security guard.

"No." Seppel shook his head. "He wasn't on the elevator when we came up. Is he staying with Tayla?"

"No." Tom said as he frantically pressed the down button on the elevator. "Come on." He tapped his feet as his heart rate picked up. While he was waiting for the elevator to arrive he banged on the doors that were closest.

"Yeah?" Bill asked as he pulled his door open with his shirt halfway unbuttoned and a T-shirt in his hands.

"Help me." Tom's voice shook with anxiety.

"What?" Bill removed his shirt and handed it to Nadiehn who stood behind him.

"I lost Bradyn." Tom ran his fingers through his hair. "He wasn't on the elevator."

"Shit, Tom!" Bill sighed and rolled his eyes. He pulled his T-shirt over his head as he stepped out into the hall barefoot. "Where'd you see him last?"

"I don't know. In the lobby?" Tom jumped on the elevator as the doors opened. He didn't wait for his security team to join him.

"Nadiehn and I will search this floor. You go downstairs. Where's Tayla?"

"I don't know." Tom shrugged as the doors shut. His mind raced as he rode down three flights to the lobby where he lunged off the elevator. He scanned the lobby as he ran to the front desk. "A little boy." Tom's words were rushed as he leaned on the counter. "I've lost my little boy! He's two. He's got, uh- light brown hair. Have you seen him?"

"I'm not sure, sir. Let me call the lost and found." The young man behind the counter said with exaggerated calmness.

"I didn't lose my damn coat! I lost my son!" Tom practically shouted. He turned around and ran to the other side of the lobby. He looked it over from one end to the other. There was no sign of Bradyn and Tom started to panic as stars danced in front of his eyes. He was on the verve of fainting.

"Sir?" A lady shouted from the front desk. "Sir?" She speed-walked across the marble flooring. Her heels made clicking sounds as she neared Tom. "You've lost your son?"

"Y- Yeah. He was- There was a big crowd and he slipped away." Tom explained. He knew how feeble that excuse was. He ran his shaking hands over his braids and tried to stop himself from shouting.

"I think I found him. Unless there's another lost little boy. He's in my office. Let me take you to him." She said gently as she placed her hand on Tom's arm.

"He's here?" Tom's heart leaped into his throat but the feeling of anxiety didn't go away.

"Yes, follow me." She led him across the lobby and behind the counter on the far end.

Tom's palms began to sweat and he took several deep breaths to try to calm himself. "Is he okay?" The thumping of his heart echoed in his ears.

"He's fine." The lady smiled over her shoulder. "He looked kind of lost but I knew someone would be by to retrieve him." She pushed open her office door and Tom saw Bradyn sitting on the floor rolling a big basketball away from him to watch it bounce off the desk and roll back.

"Bradyn!" Tom covered the room in two broad steps and swooped the child up in his arms. The ball rolled across the room. "Are you okay? Did I lose you?"

"Daddy!" Bradyn squealed as Tom squeezed him tight.

"I am so glad to see you!" Tears rose in Tom's eyes as he realized just how worried he had been. Tom looked him over from head to toe to see if anything was out of sorts or hurt but he didn't see anything. He ran his hand over Bradyn's hair and took a deep breath as the little boy squirmed to get down. "I'm gonna carry you this time. C'mon." He bounced Bradyn onto his hip and smiled nervously at the lady standing in the doorway. "Thank you so much."

"It was my pleasure. He's a sweet little boy." She smiled.

"Yeah. Yeah, he's a good kid." Tom turned to look at Bradyn who laid his tired head on Tom's shoulder. "Thanks." His hands continued to shake with relief.

"You're welcome." She held the door open as Tom stepped through and out to the lobby.

The first person Tom saw was Seppel standing near the elevators. "Seppel?" Tom raised his voice to be heard across the lobby. "I have him." Seppel looked up quickly and trotted over to where Tom stood.

"He's okay?"

"Yeah." Tom said as he tried to keep his voice level.

"Okay, let's just go on back upstairs and call off the search." Seppel reached over and ran his hand over Bradyn's hair. "You okay?"

Bradyn nodded without raising his head from Tom's shoulder and yawned. He held Bradyn tight with both arms as they got on the elevator and rode back up to his floor. Tom rested his forehead on Bradyn's and stared into the little boy's big brown eyes. "I thought I lost you." Bradyn just nodded and smiled. "You scared me."

Bradyn smiled and made the monster face that Georg had taught him. "Rrrraaaarrrrr!"

"That's right. You scared me." Tom laughed and anxiously wiped tears from his eyes with his shaky hand. "I'm not letting you out of my sight again." Tom shook his head.

The elevator dinged as the doors open and Tayla looked over her shoulder. "There he is!" She shouted as she ran down the hall and tried to take Bradyn from Tom.

"I have him." Tom kept his arms around Bradyn and half turned away from Tayla.

"You lost him!" She shouted in anger as she tried again to take Bradyn.

"I found him." Tom said as he tried to remain calm.

"I can not believe you let him out of your sight. How could you just let him walk away from you? He's barely two years old, Tom! Don't you know anything?!" Her emotional tirade had taken on a life of it's own as she continued. "You never cared before! Why should you start caring now? Give him to me. I'll take him tonight."

"Tayla, he's fine." Tom said softly as he tried to calm her down. Her hands shook at her sides and her breath came in short bursts. "C'mon." He nodded down the hall toward his room.

"You found him?" Bill asked as he poked his head out of Georg's room.

"Yeah." Tom waved and started walking toward his room. He looked back at Tayla still fuming by the elevator. "C'mon. I wanna talk to you."

Tom set Bradyn on the bed and handed him his floppy dog Lello. "Are you tired, Bray?" Tom asked softly. Bradyn closed his eyes and attempted a brief nod. "Okay, here you go." Tom took Bradyn's shoes and socks off and pulled the blanket up over his legs. "Goodnight." Tom leaned down and kissed Bradyn's forehead then stood up to face Tayla who was still standing by the door with her arms crossed. "Listen Tayla, I know you've put a lot of-"

"You lost him." Tayla repeated loudly in case Tom hadn't heard the first time.

"Are you gonna calm down so we can talk? Or are you just gonna keep saying that?" Tom lowered his voice as he stepped away from the bed and met Tayla by the door.

Tayla took a deep breath and shoved her hands in her pockets. She had no desire at all to talk to Tom and certainly not about Bradyn. "Talk." She said through clenched teeth.

"Okay." He kept his eye on her to make sure she didn't lunge at him. "I know you've put a lot of time into taking care of Bradyn and I appreciate it. I really do and I don't think I've told you that before. This is such a fucked up situation here. I mean, trying to take care of a kid on tour? This is the last place Bradyn needs to be but it's the best I can offer right now."

"You could post-" Tayla started.

"No, I couldn't." Tom shook his head. He knew she was going to say he could postpone show dates. "When I lost Bradyn tonight you have no idea how panicked I felt. I have never in my life felt so lost and terrified. Never."

"I know how you felt, Tom." She replied sharply. "I spend twice as much time with him as you do. We've connected too. I feel like he's mine half the time."

"I know you care about him."

"I love him, Tom. He's such an angel and to see his parents just-"

"Stop right there." Tom held his hand up. "Not 'his parents.' I am trying my hardest here and I know that I've gotten better with this whole parenting thing. I'm scaring myself with how much I care for the boy." He took a deep breath and lowered his voice. "Yeah, it's shitty that his mom just dropped him off but, Tayla, I'm trying. I really am. This is still really new to me. I have to get used to looking down all the time and to grabbing little hands when we're walking somewhere or juggling him in my arms with my luggage and his, and- And making sure we get extra pillows to put around the bed so he won't fall off. There's so much more to do now and you know I can barely keep my head on straight when it's just me. I need help. I need a lot of help."

"Then ask for it. Don't just assume that someone's going to pick up after you or take care of him just because you have things to do. I knew I should have just taken him tonight. Then this whole thing would never have happened." Her voice got louder as she spoke.

"Keep it down, Tayla. There's no need to shout." He tried to remain calm as he glanced back over his shoulder to where Bradyn was sound asleep.

"I don't mind watching him but, damn it Tom, this is crazy. The only thing you've shown since Bradyn arrived is that you have no damn clue what you're doing."

"I don't. I admit that. I don't have any kind of idea what the hell I'm doing." Tom shook his head. "But I'm trying."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"No, you're not." She argued back and tried not to smile as she heard how juvenile they sounded. "Tom, Bradyn's life is in your hands every day and it scares the shit out of me that you can misplace him so easily and so often. Or that half the time you have no idea where he is."

"He's with you."

"And when I'm working?"

"Then he's with one of the other crew members."

"That's exactly what I mean. You have no idea who takes care of your son every day and every night." Tayla felt the anger flowing up in her chest again.

Tom paused for a minute to let her cool off a bit. "You want me to ask? Tayla, will you please help me? I'm trying to get everything done and it's impossible. I can't do fifty things at once and I'd really feel better if I knew that someone responsible was watching Bradyn when I can't."

She held her tongue when all she wanted to do was point out that he wasn't the most responsible person to start with. "I'll help when I can."

"Thank you."

"Just like I have been." She added.

"Thank you, Tayla." Tom nodded. "I know you think that I'm the biggest screw up there is when it comes to Bradyn but he could do a lot worse you know."

Tayla nodded. Tom was right. Bradyn could do a lot worse. Tom never once laid a hand on Bradyn in anger. He made sure Bradyn had food and a warm bed. He could definitely do worse.

"Are we cool?" Tom asked a minute later.

"You need to keep a better eye on him."

"I know."

"And you need to know who's watching him."

"I will."

Tayla paused and held his gaze for a minute. His damp brown eyes met hers with a look of question. "We're cool." She nodded before she tore her eyes from his. Tayla reached behind her for the handle and let herself out of the suddenly hot room.

Once in the hall she took a deep breath and leaned back against the cool wall beside Tom's door. Only then did she let the angry tears fall.

----------------

Over the next week Tom warmed up to Bradyn and started acting more human while Bradyn got used to the hectic schedule they all followed. Tom became a little more comfortable with the tiny voice calling him daddy but every time he heard it he got a chill.

Before he knew it he found himself being protective of Bradyn and not letting just anyone watch him. He'd done an almost complete turn around to where he was bordering on obsessive. Tayla still watched Bradyn most of the time but Tom was getting better about taking him when he could. The media got a hold of some pictures of Tom and the boy walking to and from the hotel, at venues and behind the scenes at interviews and photo shoots. The management and Tom released a statement that the child was Tom's and that he'd kept it private for so long because it was personal. The only reason he was going public with the child now was because the mother was unable to care for him at the time and Tom was caring for him on his own.

The fans immediately flew into an uproar about how Tom had lied to them for two years and how they felt betrayed but, within a week, the hoopla had died down and they were once again lining their walls with his pictures.

Tom became less concerned with what city they were traveling to and more concerned with how long Bradyn's nap was and what he had to eat. The guys noticed the difference and were definitely happy to see Tom taking responsibility willingly but they missed the Tom who knew their daily schedule down to the minute.

"What time are we doing the MTV shots?" Bill asked as they piled into the heated van. They had been in Pittsburgh for two days and, as impossible as it seemed, it was actually raining harder.

Tom leaned over Bradyn's car seat and strapped him in before he fell into the seat beside him. "Hmm? Me?"

"Yeah. Do you know what time?"

"For what?" Tom asked.

"The MTV shots." Bill repeated.

"Oh those aren't until this afternoon."

"I know but what time?" Bill asked. "I want to see about calling mom."

"No, I don't know. It's after we do the Australian interview thing."

"We did that this morning." Bill laughed.

"Oh. Then I have no idea." Tom laughed and shook his head. "We're going to the charity auction tonight though, right?"

"Right. For Children's Hospital."

"Okay, cool." Tom nodded. "What are we auctioning?"

"Some shirts we wore for a magazine shoot a few months ago."

"Really?" Tom made a face. "They keep that kind of stuff?"

"Yeah well." Bill shrugged, "I think we're also doing a tour package thing. Airfare, tickets, meet and greet passes to any show they want."

"That's cool." Tom leaned his head back and closed his eyes as the van took off down the highway.

"How's the kid?"

"He's cool." Tom smiled and poked Bradyn in the side. "You're cool, right?"

"Yeah." Bradyn giggled and tried to move away from Tom's tickling fingers.

"Who else is cool?" Tom asked with a sly smile.

"Daddy." Bradyn laughed hysterically and pushed Tom's hand away.

"Who else?"

"Toke Hoh-tell!" He squealed as Tom tickled him from his belly to his chin.

"What about me?" Bill asked as he leaned forward in his seat.

"No!"

"No? I'm not cool?"

"No." Bradyn laughed again as Tom smiled and sat back in his seat. "Is Bill."

"Yeah, I know I'm Bill but I'm not cool?"

"No." Bradyn shook his head. "Daddy cool."

"Daddy's not cool. Someone's been brainwashing you." Bill shook his head and ruffled Bradyn's hair.

"Toke Hoh-tell cool."

"Okay, yeah. Tokio Hotel is cool." Bill laughed. "You got that much right. But your dad? He's a dork."

"No dock."

"Yes, he is."

"No no no." Bradyn shook his head wildly then looked at Tom with a big smile. "Skeem?"

"You're teaching him our songs?" Bill laughed at Tom.

"He likes to sing." Tom shrugged and look back at Bill. "He's a musical genius."

"Yeah." Bill rolled his eyes.

"Hey, you should see him dance."

"This kid's made you crazy." Bill smiled and leaned back in his seat.

"Yep." Tom nodded in agreement. He was definitely crazy.

----------------

Their night ended late so both Bradyn and Tom crashed as soon as they got into their room and didn't wake up until the next morning when the phone between their beds rang.

Tom rolled over to reach the nightstand and knocked the phone off the cradle in the pale morning light. "H'lo?" Tom squinted to read the clock in front of him but his eyes wouldn't focus.

"Hey, Tom? You're not up yet?" David asked.

"Hmm?" Tom mumbled and turned onto his back. "No, what time is it?" He coughed to clear his throat and rubbed his eyes.

"It's eight thirty. We didn't see you at breakfast so I was just calling to see if you were okay." David's voice was tinged with concern.

"Yeah, yeah I'm cool. What time is the caravan leaving?"

"In an hour. We're just road tripping into Cleveland today though so there's no need to get all dressed up or anything."

"Okay." Tom yawned and sat up. It was then that everything sunk in. It was almost nine in the morning and Bradyn was still sleeping. He smiled to himself. He was glad for the extra two hours of sleep that he needed. "We'll see you down there in an hour then."

"See you then." David nodded and hung up the phone.

"Okay." Tom whispered as he stood up and went to hop in the shower while Bradyn was still sleeping. Maybe this time he'd be able to take his time without worrying what Bradyn was getting into.

He showered and shaved with the bathroom door open so he'd be able to hear if Bradyn got up or started crying but the child remained silent in the other room. When Tom finished dressing he walked over to the bed where Bradyn was sound asleep on top of the covers. It wasn't like him to sleep so late and with the noise Tom had been making in the bathroom he should have been awakened.

"Hey, Bray. It's time to get up." Tom said as he sat on the bed. He switched the bedside light on to bring light to the semi-dark room. "Bradyn?" He reached out to gently shake his shoulder and he frowned. "Hey, buddy?" Tom rushed his hand to Bradyn's forehead and he caught his breath. He was no doctor but he could tell just by the heat radiating from Bradyn that he had a fever.

Panic began to set in as Tom moved his hand around Bradyn's head and neck, not entirely sure what he was looking for. "Come on, Bradyn. Wake up." He shook the child again and Bradyn slowly opened his eyes. "There you are, buddy. Come here." He picked Bradyn up in his arms and Tom felt the intensity of the heat coming from him. "Shit."

"Daddy?" Bradyn asked softly with a confused expression on his tiny face. He held his eyes open long enough to look at Tom and try to sit up. "No." He closed his eyes again and covered them with his arm.

"It's okay, buddy." Tom's said as his heart picked up the pace in his chest. The sweat from Bradyn's forehead dampened Tom's bicep as he held the little boy close with one arm. He reached for the phone between their beds as his stomach did cartwheels. Tom had to dial the tour physicians cell phone number three times before he finally got it right and, by then, he was feeling the fear creep up in his chest.

"Dex? This is Tom. Bradyn's sick." Tom spoke quickly as Bradyn began to fidget in his arms. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know. He's burning up though. I mean really bad. I'm sitting here holding him and I can feel how hot he is through my shirt."

"Has he vomited?"

"No. No, he didn't even wake up. I had to wake him up."

"Did he wake up easily?"

"No, I had to shake him and pick him up. He's still just kind of laying here."

"Does it look like he's in pain? Is he pulling on his ears or holding his stomach or anything like that?"

"No. No, he's not even moving. Shit, Dex. What's wrong?"

"I don't know. I'll come over right now to take his temperature and check him out."

"Do we need to go to the hospital?" Tom asked as his voice shook.

"Not yet. Let me come over. I'll be there in two minutes." Dexter hung up the phone and left Tom sitting in silence.

"Come on, Bradyn. Can you sit up for me?" Tom lifted Bradyn to a sitting position and Bradyn started to cry softly. "Okay, okay. Don't worry about that. The doctor will be here in a minute." Tom rested his large hand on Bradyn's head and held him to his chest. He rocked gently back and forth and sang softly with his lips brushing the top of Bradyn's head. "Komm und hilf mir fliegen. Leih mir deine Flügel. Ich tausch' sie gegen die Welt. Gegen alles, was mich hält. Ich tausch' sie heute Nacht. Gegen alles, was ich hab..." He was interrupted by a sharp knock on the door across the room.

Tom picked Bradyn up and carried him like an infant to the door and pulled it open. "Hey. Thanks for coming over." Tom rushed his words as Dexter walked into the room.

"Sure thing. Let's check you out." Dexter placed his cool hand on Bradyn's forehead. "Yeah, he has a fever. Take off his shirt so I can take his temperature."

"His shirt?"

"I didn't bring a rectal thermometer. That's what we'd need."

"Yeah but-"

"I'm going to take his temperature under his arm." Dexter said as he pulled the thin glass thermometer from his bag.

"What about that ear thing?"

"Batteries died." Dexter grumbled. "This works better anyway. Call me old fashioned." He ran his free hand through his prematurely gray hair and smiled.

Tom worked with one hand and managed to pull Bradyn's pajama shirt off of his sweaty body. Bradyn began to shiver as Dexter placed the thermometer in his armpit and held his arm in place. He glanced at his watch to track the time. "Has he been acting puny the last couple days?"

"No, not at all. He was fine yesterday. I just woke up and found him this way." Tom shook his head.

"And he didn't vomit?"

"No."

"How has he been eating?"

"Fine." Tom nodded. "He's like a dump truck half the time."

"And his bowels?"

"Fine, I guess. Nothing weird or anything."

"Has he complained about hurting anywhere?"

"No." Tom shook his head as his nervousness grew. "Do you think it's the flu or something?"

"I'm not sure." Dexter shook his head and removed the thermometer from under Bradyn's arm. He held it up to the light and turned it slightly. "We're going to need to take him to the hospital, Tom. His temperature is 104º and that's higher than I'd like to see in a child his age." Dexter placed his finger under Bradyn's chin and looked at his eyes. "Usually I'd have you give him a lukewarm bath to try to bring it down but I'd rather be safe than sorry."

"We're going to the hospital?" Tom asked as his heart pounded. "What is it?"

"I don't know. It could be nothing. It could just be a bad flu or something going around. I'd feel better if a pediatrician looked at him though." Dexter reached into his bag again and pulled out a stethoscope. He listened to the little boy's bare chest and nodded. "He sounds good. Maybe a little congested."

"Where do I take him? Dex, I don't know where to go." Tom shook his head.

"We're going to Children's Hospital."

"I don't want to go just anywhere. If something's wrong I want him to see the best. Not some jerk off who just graduated high school or whatever."

"Children's is the best place for him. You're lucky we're in Pittsburgh. They have one of the best pediatric teams in the nation. You go ahead and put his shirt back on. Wrap him up in a blanket and meet me by the elevators."

"Okay."

"It's okay Tom. He'll be fine."

"Okay." Tom nodded again and stroked Bradyn's head against his chest. As soon as Dexter left Tom pulled a clean shirt over Bradyn's head and grabbed his fleece blanket. Tom adjusted Bradyn so that he was up on his shoulder and covered him with the blanket.

"Daddy bye?" Bradyn mumbled into Tom's shoulder.

"Yeah. We're going to the doctor. He's gonna make you all better."

"Aw better?"

"Yep. All better." Tom nodded. "Lay your head down." He grabbed his wallet and room key then headed out to the elevators. They waited for a few minutes for Dexter to come and meet them and in that time Gustav came out of his room.

"Hey, Tom. What's up?"

"Bradyn's sick." Tom looked at Bradyn's head on his shoulder. "We're going to the hospital."

----------------

"It's that serious?" Gustav immediately became concerned. He placed his hand flat on Bradyn's forehead and winced. "Damn, Tom! He's burning up."

"I know. Dex took his temp. It's 104º." Tom covered Bradyn's head with the blanket as the little boy clenched his eyes shut against the light of the hall.

"Shit." Gustav shook his head.

"Yeah, so we're going to the hospital." Tom's eyes darted from Gustav to the boy in his arms. "Can you tell the guys that I'm not gonna-"

"Yeah, yeah of course." Gustav interrupted him with a nod. "Which hospital are you going to?"

"Children's." Tom shook his head and looked up the hall again for the doctor.

"Serious? We were just there last night." Gustav frowned.

"I know."

"You okay?" Gustav asked after watching Tom fidget.

"No, I'm not. What's taking him so long?" He adjusted Bradyn on his shoulder as the little boy squirmed.

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"No." Tom shook his head. "No the caravan is leaving in an hour."

"Yeah but, Tom, we can wait."

"No, go ahead and go. We have stuff in Jackson today before the show. You guys can do it." Tom cleared his throat as Dexter walked up. "Just let everyone know where we are, okay?"

"Call me on my cell as soon as you hear something, okay?" Gustav watched with a worried look as Tom, Dexter and Bradyn got on the elevator.

"I will." Tom nodded as the doors shut, leaving Gustav standing alone in the hall.

Once in the lobby Dexter looked at Tom. "We need to go out the side entrance. There's a car waiting."

"Okay." Tom quickly walked down the hall to their left as a small crowd of fans in the lobby saw them and gawked. He hoped they would stay put and let them leave in peace which is just what they did. They watched in awe as Tom carried the small boy toward the door at the end of the hall.

"Do you know where we're going?"

"Children's." Dexter said as he held the van door open.

"But do you know how to get there?" Tom pried Bradyn from around his neck and strapped him into his car seat much to the child's dismay.

"He does." Dexter nodded at the driver.

"Okay." Tom nodded and tucked the fleece blanket around Bradyn as they drove away from the hotel. "Are you going to stay with us?"

Dexter nodded and watched Bradyn fuss in the car seat. "For a little bit, yeah. Just until things get rolling."

"Okay." Tom nodded and rubbed Bradyn's head as he let his arm fall across the back of his car seat. "It's okay, buddy. We're gonna get you all better." He tried to sound reassuring as his anxiety spread across his chest.

When they arrived at Children's Hospital, the driver dropped them off at the emergency entrance and Tom carried Bradyn into the waiting area. The room wasn't as busy as he expected. There were only four other people waiting in the hard chairs watching a Discovery show on tree frogs.

"My son needs a doctor." Tom said as he approached the check-in desk at the emergency room. He rested Bradyn's bottom on her desk and let him lean against his chest.

"What seems to be the problem?" The young nurse asked.

"He has a fever." Tom shrugged. "I don't know what's wrong."

"His temperature was 104º approximately 20 minutes ago. The child is lethargic and had a hard time waking up." Dexter said as he walked up.

"And you are?"

"I'm Dr. Dexter Houbi. I'm the physician on tour with him." He indicated Tom.

"Fill out these forms, I'll see about getting a room available." She handed Tom a clipboard with a ballpoint pen tied to the silver string then turned and walked down the hall.

"There's no one else here and she has to see about opening a room?" Tom scoffed as he sat on the hard plastic chairs.

"Here. Let me do that." Dexter took the clipboard and filled out all the information he could. "Is he allergic to anything?"

"Not that I know of." Tom shook his head and stroked Bradyn's hair. He answered the rest of Dexter's questions as well as he could then carried the clipboard back up to the nurses station. "Hello?" He asked to no one in particular.

The same nurse stepped out from the back and took his forms. "Thank you. Bring your son on back and we'll take a look at him."

"Where's the doctor?" Tom asked without moving.

"A nurse will take his temperature and his vitals." She explained slowly.

"No." Tom shook his head. "I want a doctor to see him."

"Tom." Dexter started.

"No, I'm sorry. Nothing against nurses or interns or whatever. I know you guys work your asses off. But this is my son. I want a doctor." Tom stood his ground as he tried to stay calm.

"A nurse will take your son's temperature and then-"

"Then we'll go to a different hospital." Tom stood up straight and looked toward the door.

"Tom, let the nurse take his temperature." Dexter said. "The doctor will be here soon." He placed his hand on Tom's back and guided him down the hall to the nurse's station where they took his temperature with an ear thermometer and checked his blood pressure.

"He's still at 104.4º. Let's get you to an examining room and start a cool bath for him." The nurse smiled at Bradyn and placed her hand on his neck. "We'll get you feeling better soon. Okay, sweetheart?"

Bradyn just stared at her with glassy eyes and didn't even attempt to move. Tom's breath caught in his throat as he carried Bradyn down the hall to the little semi-private room with a curtain pulled around the bed.

"Here you go." The nurse nodded. "Go ahead and remove his clothes and leave his diaper on. I'll be right back with a tub."

"You doing okay here?" Dexter asked.

"Yeah." Tom rubbed Bradyn's back. "Yeah, I think so."

"You'll be in good hands here. I'm going to head back to the hotel, okay?"

"You're leaving?" Tom looked up with a panicked expression. He pulled Bradyn's shirt off again then tugged at his pajama bottoms.

"I need to go with the crew." Dexter nodded. "I'll let the others know you're here and I'll call to check up on you guys." He pulled the curtains back to leave. "He'll be okay, Tom. I know you're worried but kids get sick all the time."

"Hi, I'm Dr. Gentry. What do we have here today?" An older gentleman asked as he walked into the little examining area.

"This is Bradyn. He has a fever." Tom said.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Houbi." Dexter extended his hand to Dr. Gentry. "I'm just on my way out."

"Nice to meet you." Dr. Gentry smiled. "What have we seen so far?"

"High temp and lethargic. No abnormal bowel movements or eating habits. It could be any number of things." Dexter nodded.

Dr. Gentry scribbled on Bradyn's chart and nodded at Dexter. "Great, thank you."

"I'll call you later, Tom."

"Okay."

"And I'll see about sending Tobi or Saki over here too just in case."

"Okay." Tom nodded and waved as Dexter stepped around the curtain and back out to the hall.

"Okay, Bradyn, is it?" Dr. Gentry looked at the chart. "How has he been the last few days?"

"He's been fine. Nothing out of the ordinary, I mean we were playing around last night right before bed and he was fine."

"Did he sleep well?"

"Yeah, I guess. I didn't hear him wake up or cry or anything."

"Would you have? Is his room close to yours I mean?"

"We share a room." Tom explained. He took a minute to explain who he was and what he was doing in town.

"What I'd like to do is get him in the tub and start him on some IV fluids."

"What's that for?"

"The bath is to help cool his core temperature and the fluids are to replenish any he's lost. They'll also give us a direct route to administer antibiotics."

"Antibiotics?"

"Yeah, the fever is trying to kill off an infection of some sort and antibiotics might help that. If it's a virus they won't do any good but until we find out what it is it can't do any harm."

"Okay an IV. That's a needle." Tom's voice shook and his eyes drifted shut at the thought.

"Yes, we'll go ahead and get that started here in a minute." He looked up quickly as the nurse brought in a small tub of water. Dr. Gentry spoke softly to the nurse to tell her which IV he wanted for Bradyn, then she left again to get the supplies. "I'm going to have the nurse start the IV before we put him in the water. He's not going to like either one very much."

"Okay." Tom's lips turned white as he inhaled sharply. "Ooooh man. I don't do needles well." The nurse returned with the bag of IV fluids and a small kit.

"It's not for you." The doctor smiled as Bradyn clung to Tom's shirt.

"No, I know I just- I really don't like needles. At all." Tom averted his eyes as the nurse got the IV ready. She stood beside the examining table and smiled down at Bradyn.

"You're doing just fine. Hold him still for a second and we'll get this started." She spoke calmly to both Bradyn and Tom as she prepared the IV.

Tom took a deep breath and closed his eyes as she pierced Bradyn's small hand with the needle, barely eliciting a sound from the child. "Oow." He mumbled softly. "Hand daddy."

"I know, buddy. You're being real tough."

"Okay, we're set here." The nurse taped the IV in place and patted Bradyn's bare leg. "You're doing good, buddy. Good job."

"Now what?" Tom took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair trying to chase the stars from his eyes.

"Go ahead and take his diaper off then put him in the tub." Dr. Gentry nodded toward the plastic tub. "He's not going to like it much. The water is going to seem freezing cold to him." He turned to the nurse. "Thank you, Brandi." She nodded then left the room as quietly as she entered.

"But it'll help?" Tom asked cautiously.

"It's the first step, yes. Tepid baths can help to bring the temperature down to a safer level."

"Okay." Tom picked up Bradyn who wrapped his arm around Tom's neck while the hand with the IV hung at his side. The doctor helped Tom maneuver across the narrow room with the IV pole. "Do I need to keep it out of the water?"

"Yeah, just let his arm hang out of the tub."

"Okay." Tom nodded nervously. All of his fears were staring him in the face. Hospitals, needles, kids, sickness, responsibility.

----------------

Tom rubbed his neck and carefully lifted Bradyn over the tub. Bradyn saw the water below and lifted his knees up to his chest in protest. "No bath."

"You need a bath just for a few minutes." Tom lowered him as Bradyn tried to climb up his chest. "Just for a few minutes. I won't get your face wet I promise." He looked at the doctor. "I don't have to get his face wet, do I?"

"No, we're just going to drip the water over is back and torso."

"Okay." Tom nodded and finally got Bradyn into the water.

"No! Code!" Bradyn began to cry softly as if he just didn't have the energy to do any more. "Is code."

"I know it's cold, Bradyn, but it's important."

"No potant. Is code."

"Yeah, buddy. It's important." Tom pinched his eyes closed for a second and when he opened them he saw the doctor preparing a hypodermic needle. "What's that?" Tom closed his eyes again as the doctor reached for the IV tubing.

"Penicillin." He nodded.

"Okay." Tom sat back and took a deep breath. "Wait! No! No, don't give him that! Stop!" He reached across the tub and placed his hand in the direct path of the needle. "Wait. He's allergic to penicillin." Tom's heart pounded in his chest as he remembered the letter. "Oh dear God." He whispered under his breath.

"It's a good thing you caught that." Dr. Gentry set the penicillin aside and scribbled on Bradyn's chart. "Anaphylactic shock is the last thing he needs right now."

"I know. I'm sorry. I just- I forgot." Tom rested his head in his hands as Bradyn began to shiver in the tiny tub. His hands shook as he scooped more water and dripped it down Bradyn's tiny back.

"Nurse? Can you please swap this out for erythromycin? Seems we have an allergy to contend with."

"Yes, doctor." The nurse took the offending drug away and returned a few minutes later with the correct medication.

"There we go. Much better." The doctor injected Bradyn's IV line with the new drug then set the needle aside.

"So, what now?"

"We're going to try to get his fever down. This bath should be doing the trick. Let's see where we are." Dr. Gentry retrieved his ear thermometer from his pocket and took Bradyn's temperature while he sat in the lukewarm bath. "Okay, let's get more cool water in here." The nurse standing nearby rushed to get another bucket of water.

"What? What is it?" Tom's heart raced for the thousandth time that morning. He was glad he was in a hospital because he felt like he might have a panic attack himself.

"His fever is at 106º."

"106º?!" Tom's heart skipped a beat. "What does that mean?"

"Any number of things." The doctor watched carefully as the nurse poured more room temperature water into Bradyn's bath. Against his hot skin the water felt like ice and he continued to cry.

"No, Daddy. Is code." Bradyn tried to climb out of the small tub using Tom's arms and shoulders.

"No, buddy. C'mon. You need to stay in there. It's going to make you all better."

"Code." Bradyn whimpered.

"I know it's cold. Just a few more minutes." Tom wrapped his arms around Bradyn, not caring that his shirt was getting wet. Bradyn shivered against Tom's shoulder as he took small handfuls of water and dripped them down Bradyn's torso.

Dr. Gentry took his temperature again several minutes later and noted that it had dropped to 105º. After another twenty minutes it was down to 103º. "Okay, let's take him out so I can get another look at him." Dr. Gentry said as Tom lifted Bradyn from his seemingly frigid bath and wrapped him in a towel.

"Ow, Daddy." Bradyn cried into Tom's shoulder.

"I know, Bray. We're trying to get you better."

"Ow, Daddy. Ow."

"I know." Tom stroked Bradyn's hair and carried him back to the examining table.

"Go ahead and put a clean diaper on him. I'll be right back." Dr. Gentry left the room while Tom tried to put a diaper on Bradyn who was refusing to lie down.

"Help me out, buddy. Just let go for a second so I can tape this, okay?" Tom said softly as he released Bradyn's arms from around his neck. "You're being so brave, Bradyn. You're such a big boy."

"I big?" Bradyn sniffled.

"You sure are." Tom smiled and taped the diaper into place, "There you go. All done." He pulled Bradyn closer and sat on the examining table with Bradyn on his lap.

"Go bye?" Bradyn asked hopefully as he looked up at Tom with red rimmed eyes.

"Not yet. The doctor is coming back." Tom said as the door opened and Dr. Gentry stepped back into the room.

"I want to check his throat and neck. If you can set him down over here I'll take a look."

"Can I hold him?" Tom asked as Bradyn held tighter.

"Sure." Dr. Gentry smiled.

"I just don't think he'd let go." Tom explained softly. He left out the fact that he didn't think he could let go either.

"That's fine."

"What are you checking for now?"

"I'd like to check his throat for infection to see if it's inflamed. He has something going on inside that his little body doesn't like. The fever is trying to fight it off." Dr. Gentry explained softly as he gently opened Bradyn's mouth to take a look with a little light and a tongue depressor. "Not too red. Not enough to warrant a 106º temperature."

"Now what?" Tom asked as he became more and more nervous.

"Bradyn, can you look down at your feet?" Dr. Gentry placed his finger under Bradyn's chin.

"No." Bradyn frowned and jerked away from the doctor. He kept his head up.

"Bradyn, I need you to look down at your feet or your Daddy's. Can you see your Daddy's shoes?"

"No." Bradyn said adamantly.

"Guess what socks I have on?" Tom tried.

"No." Bradyn whined and buried his face in Tom's shoulder.

"I have Elmo socks on." Tom said whispered.

Bradyn dropped his chin a fraction of an inch them stopped suddenly as if it hurt. "I see?" He cried as he looked back up at Tom.

"I'll show you when we get home buddy." Tom rubbed Bradyn's head and looked up at the doctors, "What's wrong with his neck?"

"I'm worried that it might be meningitis. With a fever like this and a stiff neck, I'd feel better if I ordered a lumbar puncture."

"Meningitis?" Tom's heart dropped to his knees as he looked at his son. "That's- That's really bad, isn't it?"

"It can be, yes. That's why I'd like to test him as soon as possible. The quicker we diagnose it the better his chances are."

Tom's blood ran cold. "His chances?"

"Mr. Kaulitz, I'd like to get that lumbar puncture done as soon as possible. After that we'll be able to narrow it down a little more. If it's not meningitis, we need to locate the origin of infection and, if it is meningitis, we'll need to determine if it's viral or bacterial."

"What's the difference?"

"Meningitis is the swelling of the membranes surrounding the brain and spinal cord. This can occur due to infection by either bacteria or viruses. Bacterial meningitis is not as common but very serious. It could result in death or disability if not treated right away." Tom's heart skipped a beat. "Viral meningitis is a little more common and is rarely fatal. In general people with viral meningitis recover fully."

"How do you tell the difference?"

"The lumbar puncture will give us a kind of blue print. With the results of that we'll be able to tell by the white blood cell count, measure of glucose and the gram stain."

"Where would we have to go?"

"Upstairs to neurology."

"Right now?"

"Yes." Dr. Gentry nodded.

"Okay." Tom nodded and did his best not to think about the needle that would have to be used. He'd made it through the whole IV process but this was something different. "Let's go."

Dr. Gentry escorted them upstairs to the neurology department where he had Tom sit in the waiting room with Bradyn. Tom sat in one of the empty chairs by the front desk as Bradyn dozed off in his arms snoring softly. Bradyn would jerk awake every couple of minutes to squirm and whimper softly before drifting back to sleep.

It seemed like forever until the doctor came to the door. "Bradyn Kaulitz?" Tom would have been upset at having to wait so long if he wasn't so busy worrying about all of the possible outcomes.

"Yeah." Tom nodded and stood up. He adjusted Bradyn on his shoulder and the little boy woke up and whined into Tom's shirt. They followed the doctor down the cold and empty hall to a pale blue examination room with seascape pictures on the wall.

"Hi. I'm Dr. Gehirn." She smiled and shook his hand. "How's he doing?"

"I don't know." Tom shook his head slowly.

"Have you ever had or seen a lumbar puncture before?"

"Uh, no." Tom saw stars as he thought about the needle that would be used.

"Basically what I'm going to do is insert a needle into the space between two vertebrae in Bradyn's lower back to withdraw some spinal fluid which will be tested. They're going to do a white blood cell count to check for infection and a gram stain to see if it's viral or bacterial, if it's meningitis at all. They'll also check glucose and protein levels."

"If it's not meningitis will the spinal tap tell what it is?" Tom sat in the chair against the wall as Dr. Gehirn pulled out a clean section of paper to line the bed.

"No, this will only prove or rule out meningitis. If it's not meningitis then we'll have to run some more tests to find out what exactly it is." She shook her head and patted the table. Can you go ahead and lay him up here?"

Tom looked at the covered tray beside the table and his stomach took a nosedive, "Hey, uh- I'm really bad with needles." He explained to the doctor. "Do I have to, uh-"

"You don't have to see it." She smiled and shook her head.

"Can you tell me before you take it out? Seriously, I think I'll pass out."

"You'll be fine. I'll give you fair warning. If you can take his diaper off or pull it down in the back, that'd be best. You can leave it kind of half on, covering the front just in case." She nodded and stood over the tray with her body blocking Tom's view of the needle and vials as he removed Bradyn's diaper again. Dr. Gehirn took several minutes to get everything ready then turned around to face Bradyn. "We're just about ready. Dad? Can you lay him on his side right here?" She patted the edge of the bed and helped to roll Bradyn onto his side. "Okay, here's what I'll need you to do. You'll need to kind of curl him into a ball so that his back is tight, like the fetal position? Sort of hug him with his knees against your chest and wrap your arms around his torso to keep him still."

"Okay." Tom's voice shook. "Like this?" He leaned over the bed and held Bradyn close.

"That's perfect." She nodded. "He's not going to like this so hold him as still as you can."

"Okay." Tom took a deep breath to keep himself conscious. He buried his head between Bradyn's shoulder and neck and willed himself not to be sick. "Go ahead." There was no way he could remain standing if he saw the needle go in.

Tom smelled the sharp scent of betadine then heard the cover come off the tray. He took a deep breath in through his nose, out through his mouth. "Okay, hold on now. One, two, three."

On the count of three Bradyn jerked with a start. "No, Daddy! No!" He cried into Tom's shoulder and began to squirm, trying to arch his back. "No, Daddy! Ow! Ow!!" He shouted.

"It's okay, Bradyn. You're being really brave, buddy." Tom tried to sound reassuring as he held his son tight. "Calm down. It's almost over." Tom kept his head hidden as Bradyn cried heart-wrenching tears.

"Daddy! Ow!"

"I'm sorry, Bradyn. I'm so sorry, buddy. You're going to be okay. I got you."

"We're almost done. Another few seconds." The doctor said softly as she shuffled around by Tom's head. "You're doing good. He's being really still."

"Are you done?"

"Just about."

"Daddy, no." Bradyn's screams subsided to softer cry as the doctor pushed the tray away and patted Tom's back.

"All done."

"Can I pick him up?" Tom lifted his head and rubbed his eyes.

"In just a minute." She wiped Bradyn's lower back off and placed a smiley face band-aid over the puncture. "His back is going to be tender for a day or two and he will probably have a headache."

"Okay."

"Not that he'd be able to tell you. They'll probably give him a sedative when you get him to his room. Sleep is really the best thing for him. What room are you in?"

"I don't know. We haven't been checked in, I don't think." Tom leaned on the bed to hug Bradyn close as the little boy continued to cry.

"You haven't?" Dr. Gehirn cleaned up the tray and threw her gloves in the trash.

"No, we came in the emergency room and then Dr. Gentry brought us up here."

"Okay, then I'll call Dr. Gentry back and have him get you checked in upstairs."

"Okay." Tom nodded and wiped Bradyn's cheek with his fingers.

"You can go ahead and pick him up now just be careful of his lower back."

"How far down is it? I mean, where do I need to be careful?" Tom asked.

"I'll show you."

"No! No, that's okay." Tom began to feel faint at the thought.

"It's just a band aid." The doctor smiled. She'd seen nervous parents before.

Tom peeked over Bradyn's side to look at his back. There near his bottom was a little neon green band aid. "That's it?" Tom put one arm under Bradyn's behind and the other hand on his head to hold him up on his shoulder. He gently rubbed the back of Bradyn's neck and head as he tried to calm him down.

"That's it."

"Do I have to do anything for it?"

"Nope." She shook her head. "It's just a little puncture wound like when you take blood or get an injection. The needle is a little bigger but you don't need to do anything special for it. If, in a day or two, it's red or swollen bring him back in immediately. But these things usually heal on their own."

Tom stroked Bradyn's hair softly. "Now what?"

"Once he gets checked in and a sedative, he'll be asleep." Dr. Gehirn tilted her head and smiled as Bradyn's cries turned into sporadic sniffs and muffled hiccups.

"Okay." Tom sighed. "When will we know?"

"The sample I took will be at the lab in just a little bit. We'll expedite the results and Dr. Kinder will know within an hour or so."

"Dr. Kinder?" Tom tried to pull Bradyn's diaper back on with one hand but it wasn't going as smoothly as he'd hoped. Dr. Gehirn reached over and tugged at one side then gently slid it up and over his new little band aid.

"He's the pediatrician that will be caring for Bradyn after he's checked in."

"What about Dr. Gentry?"

"He's Emergency Department." She nodded. "Dr. Kinder is upstairs where Bradyn will be checked in."

"Okay." Tom nodded and sighed as he lifted Bradyn off the little table. Everything was happening so fast he could barely tell which end was up. "Then what?"

"Then he'll take it from there." She smiled and patted Tom's arm. "I'll come up and check on him tonight before I leave okay?"

"Yeah." Tom nodded and wiped the perspiration from his upper lip on Bradyn's bare shoulder. "Can I get him dressed?"

"He'll be given a hospital gown when you get upstairs so that you don't have to worry about bumping the IV." She smiled. "You did really well."

"Thanks." Tom mumbled and reached for Bradyn's blanket.

"Do you want to sit here for a little until he calms down?

"Yeah, I guess." Tom nodded and rocked back and forth.

"Okay, I'll go call Dr. Kinder. He'll be down to get you in just a little bit.

"Thanks." Tom nodded as Dr. Gehirn ducked out the door.

"Go bye?" Bradyn whimpered between shaky breaths.

"No, we're gonna stay here for a little bit then another doctor is going to come and take us to a new bed."

"No docka." Bradyn's bottom lip quivered as he began to cry again.

"The doctors are our friends, Bradyn. They're going to make you all better.

"Owwie."

"I know it hurt but you'll feel better soon." Tom wrapped the blanket around Bradyn and held him flat against his chest as he stroked his head. "Do you want a song?"

"Yeah." Bradyn mumbled.

"Which one?" Tom asked.

"Boat."

"Boat?" Tom asked, "I don't know any boat songs."

"Peese?"

"How about this?" Tom smiled as Bradyn's nose ran against his collarbone. "In mir wird es langsam kalt. Wie lang könn wir beide hier noch sein bleib hier? Die Schatten wollen mich hollen doch wenn wir gehen, dann gehen wir nur zu Zweit. Du bist alles was ich bin und alles was durch meine Adern fließt. Immer Werden wir uns tragen egal wohin wir fahren egal wie tief." He sang the song all the way through to try to calm Bradyn down but every now and then he'd still hear a wobbly breath or a soft sniffle.

Tom counted the tiles on the ceiling as they waited and he realized that they'd spent most of their day doing just that. Waiting. And he'd have to continue waiting for the lab results and waiting for Bradyn to get better and waiting to go home. "One step at a time." He whispered to himself as her heard a knock at the door.

----------------

"Knock knock." The third doctor of the day tapped on the door as he pulled it open. "Hi. I'm Dr. Kinder." He smiled. "This must be Bradyn."

"Yeah." Tom slid off the table and held Bradyn against him. "I'm Tom. His father."

"Nice to meet you." Dr. Kinder shook his hand. "You've already been checked in. I just need you to sign another few forms but you can do that upstairs."

"Okay." Tom nodded.

"Did you want to carry him upstairs or would you like a wheelchair?"

"No, I can carry him." Tom followed him out to the hall. "Is that okay?"

"That's fine." Dr. Kinder nodded and led the way to the elevators.

Tom yawned and pushed the IV pole beside him as they followed the doctor. Bradyn cried softly into Tom's shoulder when he saw the doctor standing so close. For a second Tom wondered what the other guys were up to but, with Bradyn in his arms, he couldn't check his watch and had no idea what time it was. It felt like they had been there for days, though he was sure it was only a few hours.

They rode to the 5th floor in silence then walked to the end of the hall to room 525. It was a private room with a single bed in the center of the far wall and a TV mounted on the other. "There's a little hospital gown there if he wants to wear it but you can just leave him in his diaper if you want." Dr. Kinder nodded at the bed.

"Okay." Tom mumbled as he tried to lay Bradyn on the bed.

"No, Daddy. Up." Bradyn's little legs curled up and tried to wrap around Tom's middle as his crying intensified.

"Hey, Bradyn, you need to lay down. Take a nap."

"No nap. Go bye." He insisted as he cried even harder.

"He's had a rough morning." Tom looked apologetically at the doctor.

"So I see." He smiled. "I'm going to give him a sedative to help calm him down. After the lumbar puncture he needs to lay as flat and as still as he can for a few hours which is hard for a little one like Bradyn." Dr. Kinder smiled. "He probably has a pretty intense spinal headache right about now. Sleeping through it will make it a lot easier for him."

Tom sighed as Bradyn locked his arms around his neck and held on tight. "Okay."

"I'll be right back." The doctor nodded quickly as he left the room.

"Come on, Bradyn. You need to lay in the bed."

"No. We go bye now." Bradyn said again as he choked out another sob.

"We can't go bye-bye right now. We need to make sure you're okay."

"I okay. Go bye."

"No, you're not okay. We need to-"

"Yes! I go now."

"No, buddy. The doctor needs to make sure you're well enough to go home."

"Bill?" He choked out through tears.

"Bill's on the bus."

"On the bus?"

"Yeah, with everyone else. They're on the big bus."

"And me?" He took a deep shaky breath as tears ran down his face.

"No, you need to stay here." Tom explained as the doctor came back into the room with an ampule of medication. Before Tom could look away he whipped out a hypodermic needle and filled the syringe. "Shit." Tom grumbled under his breath as he looked down quickly and took a couple deep breaths while trying to keep a hold of Bradyn.

"This will help him calm down so he can go to sleep." Dr. Kinder explained as he injected it into Bradyn's IV. He made small talk as he checked Bradyn's temperature and blood pressure. "We're still waiting on those lab results. As soon as they're called in I'll come in here and go over them with you, okay?"

"Yeah." Tom nodded as Bradyn's grip loosened on his shirt. A nurse stepped in and introduced herself as Tricia. She got Tom and Bradyn acquainted with the room by showing them how to call a nurse, how the TV worked and how to work the adjustable bed. Tom thanked her and the doctor as they left him alone with Bradyn who was sleeping soundly by then. His temperature was still hovering at 103º and Tom was more worried than ever now that he'd had time to actually think about what was happening.

Tom's stomach growled loudly reminding him that he hadn't eaten all day but nothing sounded good. He instinctively checked his watch and saw that it was just barely one. The rest of the guys would be in Cleveland already, probably checked into the hotel and in the middle of a catered lunch.

Tom reached for the phone beside Bradyn's bed and read the directions printed on the front. He entered Gustav's cell phone number and waited for him to pick up.

"H'lo?" Gustav mumbled as his usual response.

"Hey." Tom said softly.

That was all he had to say. "Tom, what's going on?"

"We're still at the hospital. They think he might have meningitis so they just did a lumbar puncture."

"A spinal tap? Oh shit." Gustav said under his breath. "Is he okay?"

"He's asleep. They gave him some stuff to calm him down because he was so worked up after the spinal, you know?" Tom pinched the bridge of his nose and rested his elbows on the edge of the bed. "His fever went up to 106º while he was in the tub to bring it down. I swear I've never felt this shitty."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Tom whispered.

"How'd you handle the big spinal needle?"

"I almost passed out." Tom laughed nervously. "But I'm still standing." He smiled and shook his head.

"When will you know what's going on?"

"Pretty soon."

"What'll they do?" Gustav shifted the phone to his other ear.

"Well he's on some serious antibiotics right now so, if it's bacterial meningitis, they'll keep him on that. If it's viral then they'll take him off that and just use pain killers if he needs it. If it's not even meningitis they're gonna have to do some more tests."

"What about after? I mean, is this permanent or what?"

"It could be anything. Fuck, Gustav." Tom whispered as his voice cracked. "This shit can be fatal."

"Damn." Gustav said under his breath. "Hang on, Tom." He took the phone from his mouth and recounted to the other guys what Tom had said.

"Then we cancel the show tonight." Bill said without thinking twice.

"Call Benjamin." Gustav nodded at Bill who was already reaching for his phone. "Hey, Tom? You sure you're okay? Because we can be there in twenty minutes if you want."

"You didn't leave?" Tom asked completely surprised.

"Hell no we didn't leave." Gustav shook his head. "This is more important."

"Yeah but we have stuff to do tonight in Cleveland." Tom argued though he was secretly glad to have his friends nearby.

"Not anymore." Gustav shook his head. "If this turned out to be nothing we could have flown in time but not now. We're here for you."

"Thanks." Tom took a shaky breath and reached out to rub Bradyn's little arm.

"Do you want someone to come down there?"

"No." Tom shook his head. "There's nothing to do. I'm just waiting."

"Because we can come wait with you."

"No, you guys are probably already knee deep in shit from David and Benjamin for skipping out on Cleveland."

"They know what's going on." Gustav shook his head.

"We have a show tonight and I don't know if I can make it."

"It's been canceled."

"Gustav." Tom pressed his eyes shut. "You can't just cancel a show."

"Yeah because it'd be so much easier playing without you." Gustav's biting sarcasm came through and comforted Tom. "None of us can play guitar."

"Georg could." Tom tried to argue.

"If Georg played guitar, who would play bass? It's too late. The show's been postponed."

"Until when?"

"Until whenever Bradyn gets better." Gustav said softly. Tom took another deep breath and tried to clear his head. "You okay?" Gustav asked.

"Yeah." Tom whispered. "Yeah, I'm okay. I'll call you guys later, okay? As soon as I find out what's going on."

"Okay." Gustav nodded. "We're, uh- We're praying for you guys." Gustav sounded almost uncomfortable mentioning prayer but he knew Tom would appreciate it.

Tears rose again in Tom's eyes as he took another deep breath and nodded though Gustav couldn't see him. "Thanks."

"I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah." Tom forced a small smile. "Bye."

"Bye." Gustav clicked the phone off to relay the information to the others.

Tom hung up the phone and rested his chin in his hand as he held Bradyn's tiny hand in his own and stroked the back of his hand with his thumb. Bradyn squirmed in his sleep and mumbled something incoherent before he sighed and went still again. "Bradyn, I'm sorry about this." Tom kissed Bradyn's hand and fought back tears that he'd been holding back all day. He scooted his chair closer and laid his head down on his arm by Bradyn's waist. "You have to be okay, Bradyn. I know being on the road and stuff sucks but it'll get better."

The tiny hand still felt warm in his as he let his eyes close to rest his tired eyes. He must have dozed off because the slight movement of Bradyn's hand a short while later startled him. He checked the clock above Bradyn's head to see that he had missed more than a half hour.

Tom yawned and ran his hands over his face. The day had been so completely emotionally draining. He wasn't sure he'd have what it took to make it through the rest of the day. He stood up to stretch his back and to wake up his legs after sitting for so long. Bradyn stirred slightly in his sleep and gave a tiny frown before letting his face relax. "I wish we could just go home. Let's just pack up and get the hell outta here, huh? What do you think?" Tom reached across the little bed and pulled the thin knit blanket up over Bradyn's legs then sighed. "I wish we could." Tom whispered.

His nervous stomach flip flopped again as he heard someone walk by the room. It had been more than an hour since Bradyn was admitted and he was just waiting for the doctor to come back with the results of the lumbar puncture. Until he knew exactly what was wrong with Bradyn, he wouldn't be able to calm down. Even with the results, he wasn't sure he'd ever be the same again. "Zoom into me. Zoom into me. I know you're scared. When you can't breathe, I will be there. Zoom into me." Tom sang softly as he tapped Bradyn's hand to the beat. He thought back to what Georg said about the last song. How it was the last song he'd played as a single guy. Somewhere in the back of his mind he thought about that moment and wondered if this might be the last song he'd get to sing to his son. He snapped his mouth shut and took a deep breath and shook his head to chase the thought from his mind. Bradyn was going to be fine. All he had to do was convince himself and keep the dark images from his mind.

"Tom?" He heard a female ask softly from the doorway.

"Yeah?" Tom turned toward the door as he wiped his eyes inconspicuously. He expected to see a nurse so when he saw Tayla standing in the doorway he was startled. "Tayla?"

"How is he?" She didn't move from where she stood.

"He's, uh- He's sleeping."

"Yeah." Tayla nodded but remained standing just outside of Bradyn's room. "Did the doctor say anything?"

Tom shook his head and looked back at Bradyn. "We're still waiting for the results of his lumbar puncture." He sighed and wiped Bradyn's brow with the corner of his sheet. "You can come in, you know?"

She took a tentative step into the room and rested her hand on the foot of Bradyn's bed. "You guys forgot Lello." She handed the floppy dog to Tom as he let out a shaky sigh.

"Thanks." He nodded and pursed his lips. Tom placed the dog by Bradyn's side then rested his IV taped hand on Lello's fur.

"How are you?" Tayla asked as she shifted her weight from foot to foot.

"I'm okay." Tom said with reservation. "I'd be better if I knew what was wrong."

"Are you hungry? Do you want me to go get you something?"

"No." He shook his head but his stomach growled loudly in the background, contradicting his voice. "You don't have to."

"Mr. Kaulitz?" Dr. Kinder tapped on the door, startling both Tayla and Tom.

"Yeah?" Tom jumped up quickly as his heart sped up. Half of him wanted to know what was wrong and the other half wanted to block out the doctor's voice completely.

"I have the labs on Bradyn's lumbar puncture."

----------------

Dr. Kinder looked at Tayla. "I'm sorry, we haven't been introduced. I'm Dr. Kinder." He shook her hand and smiled. He just assumed she was the mother. He paused for a second and consulted the chart in his hand. "Well, it is meningitis. This is what we feared." Tom's heartbeat pounded in his ears and he strained to hear the rest of what the doctor said. "The good thing is that it's viral and we caught it real soon." Dr. Kinder nodded as he consulted Bradyn's chart. "His white blood cell count was 500 which is a little elevated but not enough to really worry. His open pressure was 19 which is on the higher end of normal but still in a safe range. We're going to go ahead and take him off the antibiotics. They won't help a viral infection. The protein count was only slightly elevated. Glucose was low and the gram stain was negative." He read off the lab report using terms and measurements that Tom couldn't understand.

Tom took a deep and staggered breath as he tried to calm himself down. He'd been so nervous as he played the worst possible scenario over and over in his mind. This was unexpected. "So- So what happens now?" He held his hands in his lap to keep them from shaking and wanted nothing more than to have all of the guys there to pat him on the back and tell him they knew Bradyn would be okay.

"Well, with viral meningitis, there's not much we can do to treat it. What I'll do is keep an eye on him and try to get his fever down. Once it's below 103º you can take him home and just try to keep him comfortable."

"What about his IV?"

"We're going to leave that where it is to keep his fluids up and to leave the line open in case we need access."

"Okay." Tom nodded and his mind drew a complete blank. He knew he had a dozen questions to ask but at that moment all he wanted to do was pick up Bradyn and leave.

"How contagious is this?" Tayla asked softly when Tom didn't say anything.

"Depending on the type of virus, it varies. If there are other children around I'd keep an eye on them for similar symptoms." Dr. Kinder explained.

"He's not around any other kids but what about adults?"

"Most adults have been exposed to these viruses at some point in their life but less than one in every one thousand actually contract viral meningitis. As adults your immune system is built up enough to ward off many of these viruses. Chances are, unless you have a compromised immune system, you should be fine."

"How soon would symptoms show up though?" Tayla asked as she thought about the seventy-member crew and the other guys who were in close contact with Bradyn every day.

"If they catch this meningitis, symptoms will surface within five to seven days after contact."

"Do we need to do anything? Get a shot or something?"

"No, nothing like that. Since he's mainly around adults I'd say if they haven't shown symptoms by now, they probably won't." Dr. Kinder nodded. "But just make sure to wash his hands, and yours, after you change him or blow his nose."

"So just like if he had a cold?" She didn't think it could be that easy.

"Yes, exactly. This is a virus so you're going to prevent it like a cold. Wash your hands a lot and don't touch your mouth or eyes often."

"What about flying? We might have to fly to some of our next locations. Can he do that?"

"Sure, that's fine. You might want to wait until the fever breaks but that's just a comfort suggestion. Medically and physically he can fly anytime. You all might just be more comfortable if you wait until his fever is gone or at least reduced."

"How long should that take?" Tom was glad that Tayla was there to ask all of the questions he had forgotten.

"Four or five days usually. As long as a week." Dr. Kinder shrugged.

"Is there anything we can do to help reduce his fever?" Tayla looked over at Bradyn as he slept.

"Sure, Baby Tylenol is actually the best thing I can suggest. It'll help with his headache and stiff neck as well."

"What else can we do?"

"Keep up his fluids, lots of rest, basically take it easy for a few days. Treat this like a flu or any other kind of bug. That's just about how he'll feel anyway."

"And what should we be looking for?"

"If his fever jumps again or if his symptoms get worse. If he starts vomiting bring him in immediately or to the nearest hospital." Dr. Kinder tapped his clipboard.

"When can we go home?" Tom asked.

"Tomorrow. With the lumbar puncture, he'll need to lay flat for 6 to 8 hours and we'd like to observe him after that to make sure he remains stable."

"Okay, yeah. I want him to stay." Tom nodded. "Can I stay with him?"

"Here? Absolutely." Dr. Kinder nodded. "We'll have a cot brought in here for you. Will both of you be staying?" He looked from Tom to Tayla.

Tayla shook her head and cleared her throat. "No I, uh- I won't be staying."

"Okay." Dr. Kinder said as he placed Bradyn's chart back on the foot of his bed. "Do you have any more questions?"

"No." Tayla shook her head.

"What are the side effects? I mean, I know this can be, uh- Fatal, but- But you made it sound like he'll be fine." Tom looked up at the doctor.

"I think we caught it early enough." Dr. Kinder nodded. "The damage comes when it goes undetected for any length of time or if the patient has seizures or blackouts. Dr. Gehirn, the neurologist, be down later to look him over but I really think he'll be fine."

"Thank you." Tom nodded.

"If you have any more questions buzz a nurse and, if they can't help you, have me paged."

"Okay, thanks."

"I'll swing back around a little later to check up on everyone, okay?"

"Yeah." Tom took a deep breath and looked back at Bradyn as the doctor smiled and let the door shut behind him.

"Wow." Tayla whispered softly. The tension in the room seemed to leave with the doctor and without warning they could both breathe easier.

"Whoa. Shit." Tom took a deep breath and let it out loudly as he ran his hands through his hair. "Wow, I just- I can't believe he's okay." Tom's chest tightened as he shook his head and swallowed hard. "How do people do this? I mean, parents get bad news about their kids every day. Right now there's a parent somewhere being told that their kid is gonna-" Tom shook his head trying to chase the thought from his mind. "How do they do this? I swear I don't know what I'd be doing if this were bad. How did I get so lucky?"

"Parents are built strong."

"Not me. I'm barely hanging on here." Tom sat back in his chair and leaned on Bradyn's bed. "I seriously have never in my entire life felt like this. Nothing can ever compare. It makes me want to call my parents and just- I don't know. Just call them."

"You should." Tayla nodded.

"I will." He mumbled.

"How'd they take the news?"

"About Bradyn?"

"About all of this."

"My mom was pissed at first, I guess." He shrugged and sighed. "They don't know he's sick though."

"Tom." She sighed and prepared to give him another lecture but she stopped. "Do you want me to have someone call them?"

"No, I will." He ran his hands over his jeans to wipe the sweat off his palms. "I just wanted to wait until I knew."

"What about the guys?"

"Yeah, I should call them." Tom reached for the phone by the bed again. He dialed the number and waited as Gustav's cell phone rang in his ear.

"Do you want me to go?" Tayla whispered and pointed toward the door.

Tom frowned and shook his head then sighed. "Hey, Gustav."

"Hey, what's up?" Gustav asked.

"Bradyn does have meningitis." Tom's stomach still sunk at the word. "But it's viral so it's not that bad."

"What are they going to do?" Gustav asked softly. He tried desperately not to let his own voice shake.

"Nothing really. They just-"

"Nothing? How can they do nothing? Can you get a second opinion?" Gustav interrupted with rapid-fire questions.

"No, there's nothing they do to treat viral meningitis. They just give him meds to reduce his fever and he said that Bradyn would be good as new in a week or so."

"Seriously? I thought meningitis was bad?"

"It can be." Tom nodded and caught Tayla's eye. "I guess we're just lucky."

"Yeah, I'd say so." Gustav smiled. "So when are you guys coming back?"

"Not until tomorrow." Tom shook his head. "After the lumbar puncture they want him to lay flat and still for a few hours so he's gonna stay over night."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna hang out here with him and things. If David's around can you let him know?"

"Yeah, I'll tell him."

"And, um- Tayla is here too so, uh- You know, let him know that too so he doesn't freak out."

"Oh." Gustav paused. "I didn't know she was there."

"She stopped by to bring Bradyn his dog."

"Lello?" Gustav smiled and shook his head.

"Yeah." Tom laughed lightly.

"Cool."

"Yeah, so let the other guys know what's going on and everything."

"I will. You just take care of Bradyn, okay? He's the tour kid and everyone here is really worried about him."

"Thanks." Tom nodded.

"We love you. Give Bradyn a big hug from all his uncles."

"I will." Tom nodded and lowered his voice. "I love you guys too."

"Talk to you later."

"Bye." Tom hung up the phone and grabbed his cell to dial his mom's number. She wasn't home so he left her a quick message. "Hey, Mom. Hey, Gordon. It's Tom. I just wanted to let you know that I'm at the hospital right now. Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh. Bradyn's pretty sick. He has viral meningitis so they're going to keep him here over night. The doctor said that there's really nothing to worry about. He's on fluids and baby aspirin to get his fever down and stuff but, uh-" He paused and took a deep breath. "Anyway, I just wanted to let you know. We're in room 525 if you wanna call or whatever. He should be out of here tomorrow so I'll call you guys then." He glanced at Tayla quickly then leaned forward onto the bed to place his hand on Bradyn's thigh. "I love you guys. And, uh- Thanks for everything. Just, um- Everything." Tom said softly as he traced his finger over Bradyn's small hand and hung up the phone.

Tayla pulled a chair over next to Tom. The only place there was room in his tiny private room. "Are you okay?" She asked as she leaned on the bed by Bradyn's ankle. Watching Tom torture himself like this was almost too hard to watch but she was glad that this affected him in such a major way. If she ever had any doubts about his devotion to Bradyn they were all swept away as she saw a tear fall down the side of his cheek.

Tom looked away and swiped at the stray tear. He nodded and rested his chin in his hand as he leaned his elbow on the bed. "I'm okay." He mumbled as his stomach growled again.

"I'm going to go to the cafeteria to get a drink. What do you want to eat?" She gently placed her hand on Tom's shoulder.

"Nothing."

"You're starving. Let me bring you something."

"I'm fine. I don't want anything."

"Too bad." Tayla patted his shoulder and stood up. She left quietly and found her way to the cafeteria on the bottom floor of the hospital. She got herself a soda and picked up a sandwich and a drink for Tom.

"Here." She set the food on the bed by Tom's arm and opened his soda. "You need to eat something."

"Does being around kids put you in the 'mom mode' or what?" Tom asked with a small smile. His eyes looked tired and his mouth watered as he unwrapped the sandwich.

Tayla shrugged and rested her chin in her hands. "I guess when I'm needed, yeah." She looked down at Bradyn as he slept. She quickly glanced at Tom. "Hey, I'm really sorry I flew off the handle at you the other day." She dropped her eyes and ran her finger over the edge of the sheet in front of her.

Tom swallowed his first bite of the sandwich and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "I deserved it." He nodded.

"No, you didn't. Not the way I approached it. You might have needed to hear it but not in the way I presented it." She shook her head. "He's such a great kid and I've really gotten attached to him. From my isolated view it just looked like you were shuffling him off on everyone else."

"I was tr-"

"No, I know." She shook her head. "That's why I'm apologizing. I know this has to be crazy for you. You're doing okay."

Tom was quiet for a minute as he ate his sandwich and took several sips from his soda. "I was in denial, I think. Or something. Not denial. I know he's mine." He wiped his mouth again and cleared his throat. "I don't know. I just didn't want to face it. But when I lost him in Seattle? I swear I thought I was going to hyperventilate or pass out or something. I couldn't breathe practically. It was like everything from the last few weeks just came down, you know? All of this caring just came out of hiding and I was scared shitless."

"That was scary."

"More than just scary. I've never felt like that before. I can't lose him, Tayla. Not now. I just got him. He's the most important thing in my life. He just makes everything else seem so insignificant."

Tayla nodded and looked at the sleeping child. "That's good." She whispered.

"I had no idea that it would feel like this, you know? I've thought about having kids in the future or whatever but I just never thought it was like this."

"How?"

"Like I'd do anything to trade places with him just so he wouldn't have to do this. All the needles and doctors and everything. I'd do all of that if it meant he didn't have to. No one ever mentioned how being a parent could make you feel so helpless. There's nothing I can do right now except wait this out and it sucks."

"I know it does."

"I feel like I'm not doing anything."

"You're being here and he needs that."

"He needs to be better. He needs the fever to go away and he just needs to be better."

"Just think how thrilled he's going to be to see you when he wakes up." She rested her chin in her hand as she watched Bradyn roll onto his side, frown in his sleep and then roll back. Tom didn't say anything. He just looked over his opposite shoulder and out the window. "Do you want me to go?" Tayla asked as Tom sniffed quietly. He laid his head down on the bed and looked up at Bradyn. He shook his head as he squeezed his eyes shut tight. Tears rose in Tayla's eyes as she watched Tom's shoulders shake with silent sobs.

Her chair didn't make a sound as she slid it closer to where he sat. She tentatively reached out and placed her hand flat on his back, just to let him know she was there. Her heart broke as she watched him sit there and cry softly. This man that had always been in control of everything in his life, always on the ball and number one in all he attempted was falling apart slowly at the hands of a toddler. She felt him exhale a deep breath as she leaned forward to place her other hand on his arm that was lying on the bed with his hand covering Bradyn's.

Tayla kept her eyes on Bradyn as she softly pressed her lips to Tom's shoulder and whispered. "He's going to be okay, Tom. Don't worry."

"I can't not worry." Tom whispered back with emotion. "Not until he's out of here." He felt her hand slide from his back up to his opposite shoulder in a sort of half hug. "Thanks for coming here, Tayla."

"You're welcome." She nodded and rested her chin on his shoulder.

"He loves you a lot, you know?" Tom forced a small smile and wiped at his eyes with his free hand. "He thinks you're cool."

"He loves you too, Tom." Tayla said softly. "You're all he talks about when I watch him. Daddy this and Daddy that."

"Yeah?" Tom turned to look at her over his shoulder and was startled by how close she was.

"Yeah." She moved back a bit to make the gap between them a little bigger. "You're the coolest person in the world to him."

"I'm the big man, huh?" Tom blushed quickly as he turned back to face Bradyn. He tried to push the rush of feelings away.

"You're the man." She nodded and removed her hand from his shoulder.

"Why didn't you go with the crew?" Tom asked a minute later.

"Because Bradyn's sick." She gave him a look as if he were crazy for asking.

"Well, yeah but-"

"I love him, Tom. I'm just as worried as you are right now and just as hopeful that he can leave tomorrow."

"Does David know you're here?"

"Yes."

"Is he pissed?"

"No." She shook her head. "He's not mad about anything. In fact I think the only reason he would be upset was if we weren't here. If, right now, we were in Cleveland at the venue thinking Bradyn just had a bug. You're lucky that you caught this so soon."

"Yeah." Tom nodded.

"Bradyn's lucky." She added. Tom just shrugged and looked at Bradyn's sleeping face.

"I don't know about that. The poor kid got dumped in a hotel lobby to be left with a really shitty father." Tom tried to keep it light but the guilt from the previous weeks fell down on him.

"You're doing fine, Tom. You've gotten so much better. Bradyn's very lucky to have you."

"He's lucky to have you." Tom turned to look at her again. "We all are."

She held his gaze for a second trying to figure out what the look in his eyes meant. "Thank you." She tore her eyes away and cleared her throat. "I'm, uh- I'm going to go back to the hotel. Call in the morning, okay? Let me know how things are?" She scooted her chair back towards the wall and stood up.

"You don't have to go."

"No, I have to go." She nodded. "I'll let the other crew guys know what's going on and everything. I'm sure they're all real worried too."

"Okay." Tom nodded reluctantly. He didn't want her to go now. Just having someone else there made his worries lift.

"If you need anything tonight let me know. Someone can be here in just a few minutes." She reached under the bed for her purse as he nodded. "And if anything changes call."

"I will." He stood up beside her and touched her elbow. "Thanks again, Tayla." He wrapped his arms around her in a heartfelt hug.

Tayla hesitantly placed her arms around his waist and hugged him back. "Anytime." She said as her cheek rested against his chest.

As he released her he let his lips graze her cheek, just missing the corner of her mouth. He could have stepped back to let her leave, and she would have, but instead he purposely licked his lips and kissed her.

She didn't move for a second and she wondered if it was really happening. Then, just as soon as it started, the kiss ended and Tayla stood there breathless.

"I'm-" Tom began to apologize after he licked his bottom lip.

"I have to go." She cut him off and turned away quickly before he could see the pinkness rising in her cheeks and the look of surprise on her face. She fumbled with her purse as she pushed the thin drape aside and left Tom alone in the room with his son.

Chapter Three