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Das Letzte Lied - Chapter Sixteen

From Friday afternoon until Saturday morning, Tom's stomach was in knots. He ate hardly anything and found himself being short with Bradyn. Thursday was the day. The day that Astrid was sitting in front of a judge and giving up any right she had for Bradyn. They tried to keep busy so that Tom's mind wouldn't keep going back to that but nothing seemed to help.

On Saturday morning, Tom anxiously waited for Joshua's call. Tom knew that Joshua should have the paperwork for him before noon but somewhere in Tom's mind he let himself wonder what would happen if the judge didn't allow her to give up her rights. Tom knew that wasn't even really a possibility but he held on to what little hope he had until the phone rang with the news.

"Hey, Tom. This is Joshua Thompson." He cleared his throat and Tom knew that he had his answer.

"Hi, Joshua."

"How are you doing?" Joshua asked.

"I'm good." Tom scratched at his jaw. "What's up?" He didn't need to ask. He knew why the lawyer was calling.

"I got the paperwork from Ms. Taylor yesterday."

"Okay."

"I figured you'd want to go over it face to face so I flew into Germany."

"Sure."

"We can do it whenever you want. If you want to set up an appointment for Monday-"

"No, today's good. I just want to get it over with."

"Of course you do." Joshua nodded. "I'm using the offices of a friend of mine. The office is technically closed but come on by and we'll do this."

"Okay. I'll, uh- Can I come by at eleven?" He glanced at his watch, calculating the time he'd need to get Bradyn ready and drop him off at a sitter's.

"Eleven is fine." Joshua gave Tom the directions and Tom scrawled them on the back of an envelope. "I'll see you at eleven."

"Okay, thanks Joshua."

"Anytime."

Tom hung up and looked down at Bradyn. "Okay, we need to find someone to watch you."

"You can see me?" Bradyn cocked his head to the side and furrowed his tiny brow.

"Yeah, I can see you." Tom frowned back at the little boy. "Oh." He laughed and bent to pick Bradyn up. "Yeah, I can see you but I have to go to an appointment so I need to see if Bill and Nadiehn can watch you."

"I can go wiss you?"

"No, not this time."

"Yeah."

"Can't do it, buddy. When I'm done with the appointment, we can go to McDonald's and get you a Happy Meal. Okay?"

Bradyn sighed and tried to roll his eyes. "Okay." He wiggled from Tom's arms and went to his basket of toys beside the TV. "You cawin dem. I have Dill." Bradyn lifted his stuffed crocodile from the basket and headed for the stairs.

"Okay then." Tom said softly as he smiled and watched Bradyn for a minute. With a soft sigh, he picked up his cordless and dialed Bill's house. On the second ring, he remembered that they were going out of town for the weekend. "Shit." He muttered under his breath, wracking his brain to find someone who would be in town that weekend.

Tom's brow crinkled in frustration. He couldn't remember anyone else's schedule when he used to be on top of everything. He dialed Gustav's number because it came up first on speed dial and waited as it rang in his ear. "Hey, you busy?" Tom asked when Gustav answered the phone.

"Not really. Why? What's up?" Gustav asked. No introductions were necessary.

"I have to run an errand and I was hoping maybe you'd keep an eye on Bradyn for me?"

Gustav paused. "For how long?"

"Two hours."

"Oh, sure. Yeah, I was thinking you meant like, all day."

"No. I just have to do something. It shouldn't take too long." Tom put a bag of crackers into Bradyn's backpack.

"Sure. You wanna bring him over here?"

"Yeah."

"Cool. When will you be here?"

"In a half hour? Is that cool?"

"That works for me. I'd better put my porn away, huh?" Gustav laughed.

"Um, yeah." Tom laughed back. "I'll pack a movie and you guys can just watch that until I get back."

"I have kid movies. Just bring him here. I'll find some way to entertain him."

"Okay, thanks, Gustav."

"No worries." Gustav laughed, then hung up, leaving Tom holding the dead phone in one hand and a juice box in the other.

"Hey, Bradyn! Are you ready to go?" Tom shouted toward the stairs.

"Yeah!" Bradyn shouted back from two steps behind Tom.

"Whoa, there you are. I thought you were upstairs." Tom laughed and turned around to pick Bradyn up. "You're sneaky."

"Yeah." Bradyn giggled. "I can see Pie appo?"

"No, you're going to go hang out with Gustav for a little bit."

"Gay-og?"

"No, Gustav."

"Pie appo?" Bradyn looked hopeful.

"You like Gustav. What's up with that?"

Bradyn sighed and used his whole hand to brush his hair out of his eyes. "I lie Goose-gog, Daddy."

"I know you do. So why don't you want to see him?"

"I see Goose-gog. I can see Gay-og and Pie appo?" Bradyn asked.

"You want to see them all?"

"Yeah."

"We haven't been together in a while, have we?" Tom asked rhetorically. "I'll tell you what, you can go see Gustav today, then for your birthday you can see everyone all together."

"Is Toke Hoh-tell?"

Tom blinked and smiled. "Yeah. Yeah, when we're all together, we're Tokio Hotel."

"Dats cool, Daddy."

He laughed and set the phone back in the charger as he bounced Bradyn on his hip. "Yeah, that's cool."

"I Toke Hoh-tell?"

"Um. Not exactly."

"Yeah, Daddy. I Toke Hoh-tell."

"Okay. You can be Tokio Hotel too." Tom kissed Bradyn's cheek. "Let's go to Gustav's house now. I have an appointment and I can't be late."

"Uh oh."

"Uh oh is right. We have to go." He grabbed his keys and they headed out, showing up at Gustav's house only ten minutes before Tom was supposed to meet with Joshua.

"Hey!" Gustav cheered as he pulled the door open. "It's my most favorite kid in the whole wide world. What's up, Bradyn?" Gustav grabbed him from Tom's arms, completely ignoring the adult in the doorway.

"Hey, I'm running late." Tom tried to explain.

"As usual." Gustav rolled his eyes and looked at Tom. "So go already. Don't let me hold you up."

"His snacks are in the bag. And stickers and his toys."

"Cool."

"He had breakfast so he should be-"

"I'll feed him if he says he's hungry."

"And he's usually pretty good about telling you he has to-"

"I'll make sure he pees."

"In the toilet." Tom specified.

"In the toilet." Gustav sighed and rolled his eyes. "Go on Mr. I'm-in-a-hurry."

"I won't be long."

"Don't worry about it."

"Bye, Bradyn."

"Bye bye!" Bradyn screeched as Gustav flipped him upside down to tickle his tummy.

"Be good."

"Kay!" Bradyn laughed as Gustav's fingers wiggled up his side.

"You too, Gustav."

"Okay!" Gustav mimicked Bradyn's enthusiasm as they raced toward the den at the far end of the living room.

"Okay." Tom muttered under his breath as he let himself out and trotted to his car. He had less than five minutes to drive the fifteen miles to the offices where Joshua was set up. As he pulled out of Gustav's driveway, he called Joshua to let him know he was running late. He turned the music up and tried to clear his head before he got there. The last thing he wanted was to have another breakdown with his lawyer as his audience.

----------------

When Tom got there, Joshua was waiting with the door open and his paperwork stacked neatly around the edges of the desk. "Hey, Tom. It's good to see you again."

"H- Hi." Tom stuttered as he shook Joshua's hand.

"How's Bradyn doing?"

"He's good." Tom nodded.

"And you?"

"I'm okay." He forced a smile and sat in the deep leather chair across from Joshua's. "She sent the paperwork?"

"Yeah." Joshua looked around his desk for a minute, almost looking lost, before his eyebrows shot up and he smiled. "Here you go." Joshua handed Tom the large manila envelope and nodded. "This is for you. I've made a copy of the legal documentation but the originals are in there. You're going to want to get a copy made and put those in a safe deposit box or something." Joshua nodded at the envelope. "All of that."

"Okay." Tom nodded and tucked the envelope under his arm. He didn't want to open it in front of anyone because, without knowing what was in it, he didn't know how he'd react.

"Why don't you take a look so I can say I filled you in on everything?" Joshua said softly as he tapped the tips of his fingers together.

Tom frowned slightly and pondered his next move. If Joshua needed to cover him, he felt he should go ahead and open it but if it was going to unleash the anger he'd felt earlier in the week, he wasn't sure if he wanted his lawyer to witness that. "Sure, yeah." Tom slowly opened the clasp and pulled out a thick stack of papers. "There's a lot here." He said as a smaller, sealed envelope fell into his lap. "What's this?"

"It's addressed to Bradyn."

"The letter she wrote him?"

"That'd be my guess."

Tom held his breath for a moment as he set the smaller envelope on the corner of Joshua's desk. He rifled through the other pages, then stopped and pulled one to the front. "His birth certificate?"

"Yeah, that's the original."

"Wow." Tom read it over quickly, seeing where in the space for the father's information only one word was typed. "Unknown? It says his father is unknown?" Tom looked up quickly. "What? How do I?"

"The amended certificate is in there as well, with the DNA results. That's what we used to get his passport." Joshua said.

"Yeah, but- But she never put my name on here?"

"No."

"So he never would have known?"

"No."

"Oh my God." Tom whispered as his mouth went dry. "Bradyn Stephen Sawatzke. And his- His social security card is here too?"

"Yes, I attached it to the birth certificate so it wouldn't get lost in the shuffle."

"Sawatzke? But when- When we went to the doctor and everything his last name was Kaulitz." Tom looked up at Joshua.

"When we went to court last time, one of the conditions was that his name be changed to Kaulitz. You signed the paper for the name change last time."

"I did?"

"Yeah. And Astrid approved it. The change is there." He nodded to the papers in Tom's hand.

"Oh." He flipped to the next page and saw the amended birth certificate with his name in the box for father and his signature on the bottom. He didn't remember signing it but at the time, he was sure he had a lot on his mind. "What's the rest of this stuff?"

"His immunization records, pediatric dental chart, things like that. It's everything that she had that you might need for Bradyn."

Tom looked down at the papers in his hand again. "So this is it?" He fanned the papers with his thumb. "In two years, this is it?"

"Kids don't generate that much paperwork." Joshua shrugged.

"Yeah but- What about his check ups and stuff? Don't you- I mean, don't parents have that information?"

"Not usually." Joshua shook his head. "Kids go to the doctor all the time."

Tom frowned. "I have all of his paperwork from when we went to the hospital. Just in case I needed it or whatever."

"Good, then you'll be a good record keeper." He smiled. "But anything before you got him is going to be scarce. This is all she sent and probably all she had."

"What's this?" Tom held up another envelope about half the size of the large one.

"Photos."

Tom's stomach dropped. "Photos of what?"

"Bradyn."

"And Astrid?"

"I didn't look through them. I just opened it and saw that it was photos." Joshua explained.

"Okay." Tom mumbled as he poured the pictures into his hand. He flipped through them slowly. They weren't in any kind of order but the first one was of a very naked, red and screaming Bradyn on a metal scale covered with a blue sheet. He couldn't have been more than a few minutes old when it was taken and Tom's heart skipped a beat as he looked at the digital read out on the scale. Seven pounds, three ounces.

The next few pictures showed him on his first birthday. A chocolate cupcake with a single candle sitting on the table in front of Bradyn with his eyes open wide, sitting on someone's lap. As Tom looked through the pictures he saw a resemblance between the little boy in the pictures and toddler pictures of himself. "Oh wow." Tom laughed and held up a picture of Bradyn sitting in a diaper on a patch of grass with a matchbox car in his mouth. "My Mom has one just like this of me and Bill." Tom laughed and showed Joshua the picture. "Only I'm wearing a shirt. How weird is that?"

"I think we all have pictures like that." Joshua smiled.

"Yeah." Tom said softly before he reluctantly slid the pictures back in the envelope. He'd look at them later when he could do it in private.

"She also sent a sealed letter to you. Ms. Taylor said that I was to hold it until you wanted to see it so I- Well, I have that as well."

"It's not in here?"

"No." Joshua shook his head. "She wanted me to let you know that I have it in case you want to see it. I guess she thought if it was in there you'd think you had to read it."

Tom bit his lip and frowned at the envelope in his hand. "Yeah, I'll take it now." He carefully slid the birth certificate and photos back into the large envelope leaving only one small set of documents in his hand. "So this is it?" He waved the form.

"That is her petition to terminate her parental rights." Joshua nodded. "Signed by herself, the judge and two witnesses."

Tom pursed his lips and sighed through his nose. For almost a week, he'd had a sick feeling in his stomach about seeing the words in black and white. He sat there for a moment and quickly skimmed it, passing over the legal jargon and skipping right to the bottom. "So this is all I'll ever need?"

"I don't foresee you needing that documentation unless she makes an appearance down the road and wants to make claim rights as a parent or go back to court."

"But for school or whatever?"

"No." Joshua shook his head. "There are millions of single parent families out there. You won't need to provide any kind of explanation or anything like that. This is your private business."

"Nothing with me is private."

"I'm just saying, this isn't something you need to keep handy. Lock it up in a safe place and forget about it."

Tom nodded wordlessly. Holding that paper in his hands meant that everything was final. Bradyn was his and only his. Astrid was now a stranger. "Thanks, Joshua." Tom looked up at his lawyer and slid the papers into the envelope. "You know, for everything."

"It's been one hell of a year."

Tom gave a short laugh. "Yeah, you can say that again."

"I'm glad things have turned out well for you."

"Well-" Tom shrugged and closed the flap on the envelope. "Yeah, I guess since if things went the other way I wouldn't have Bradyn at all."

"Right."

"I'm glad I have him."

"I know you are." Joshua tapped papers into place. "And I know this doesn't have anything to do with this-" He nodded at the envelope in Tom's hand. "But seeing as how you're his only legal guardian, you might want to draw up papers naming and alternate guardian should anything happen to you."

"Like a will?"

Joshua nodded. "That too."

"Do you think-"

"I think it's wise to have one. Especially now that you have a child. You'll want to make sure he's taken care of."

"Of course." Tom nodded emphatically. "I'll, uh- I'll have to do that." He pursed his lips and breathed lightly through his nose. "Can you do that?"

"Sure but not right now. You'll want to think about it, I'm sure. We can work everything out after the New Year. I can even come to your house and get everything taken care of."

"Okay." Tom looked around the neat office. "I just-" He started to say he just wanted Astrid there too but that was a moot point. "Thanks, Joshua. Seriously, if it wasn't for you, I don't think I'd be half as sane as I am today. You've helped me so much with everything here."

"It was no problem, Tom." Joshua stood up at the same time Tom did and reached across the desk to shake his hand.

"I'll call you in a few weeks."

"Sounds good." Joshua smiled. "I'll talk to you then."

"Bye." Tom managed a small smile as he headed for the door.

After more than an hour inside the dim office, the sunlight outside was almost blinding. As he exited the office, Tom took a deep breath of the cool and damp air, letting it fill his lungs and sting his nose. He took a few silent minutes before he climbed in his car and headed back to reality. In the early afternoon light, Tom closed his eyes and tilted his head back. His life had just changed irrevocably and, though he'd had a week to get used to the idea, it was finally real.

He listened to the few cars on the street and a radio from an office nearby. A car alarm sounded from the parking lot across the street as Tom opened his eyes and ran his hands through his hair. "I really do need to get my braids redone." He thought to himself as he tucked the envelope under his arm and fished in his pockets for his car keys.

----------------

The drive back to Gustav's seemed to take forever with the sudden afternoon traffic on the main road. By the time he got there, he had made up his mind about Bradyn's guardians if something should happen to him. He thought it would be a hard decision but when it came down to it, it was easy. Tom smiled as he pulled up in Gustav's driveway and killed the engine. He trotted to the front door and knocked before letting himself in.

The sound of laughter and happy squealing soared through the house from Gustav's den. Tom followed the sound and stood in the doorway watching whatever game it was they'd invented in the short time he was gone.

"Dive bomber!" Gustav tossed Bradyn into a pile of couch cushions, blankets and pillows, then laughed as the little boy disappeared between them. "This is the best game ever."

"When you're three." Tom laughed and shook his head, announcing his presence.

Gustav turned to look over his shoulder, nodding his greeting. "What're you saying?" He asked as Bradyn crawled out of the blankets and up Gustav's body while laughing hysterically.

"Nothing." Tom laughed as Gustav spun around and threw Bradyn again.The squeals of the little boy were lost in the mound of pillows.

"You saying I'm three?"

"Something like that."

"Yeah, okay." Gustav rolled his eyes and stretched his arms over his head. "I'm not feeling like I'm three today. I have kinks all over the place."

"Well, that's what happens when you're kinky." Tom laughed and tucked his hands in his pockets. As long as Gustav was there, he knew Bradyn would all but ignore him. "So there's been some new, uh- Things have changed concerning Astrid. That's where I was today. Kind of."

"Yeah? She decided to step up to the plate for once?"

"Um."

"Christ, she's not moving to Germany, is she?"

"No. She's-" Bradyn sprang from the pile again and crawled up Gustav's body.

Gustav made airplane noises as he spun and tossed Bradyn into the mound. "Well, I know you're not moving to California." Gustav said out of breath. "You better not be."

"No. I'm- We're not moving." Tom shook his head.

"Okay. Then what?"

"She gave up her parental rights." Tom said quickly.

"Whoa. Wait. What?" Gustav ran his hands through his sweat dampened hair and frowned at Tom. "She did what?"

"She voluntarily relinquished her parental rights. She no longer has a son."

"The hell she doesn't." Gustav's eyebrows shot up. "You didn't just find him under a rock, you know."

"I know."

"It took two to get him here."

"I know, Gustav."

"She's trying to say she doesn't have a son?" He seemed almost amused.

"She's signed everything and the judge approved it."

"Wait." Gustav stopped as Bradyn climbed up into his arms again. "Hey, buddy, go hide in the land mine, okay? My arms are tired." He set Bradyn down and gave him a gentle push in the right direction. "So since she doesn't want a son anymore, she just doesn't have one? You know how many deadbeat dads out there would love to just walk into the court and say Okay, now I don't have kids. You can't make me do it!? I mean, come on. That's the same thing."

"Not exactly."

"Um, yes, exactly."

"I guess she was deemed unfit."

"How many deadbeat dads are unfit?"

"It's not the same, Gustav." Tom shook his head.

"It's really close to the same man. So wait, the courts said she was unfit?"

"I guess. She actually initiated it but the court agreed." Tom sighed and shoved his hands deeper into his pockets. "So he's- Well, he's all mine."

"Wasn't he all yours to begin with?"

"Well, no."

"I ,when you went to court the last time."

"Oh. Well, yeah, I guess technically. I had full legal and physical custody because she didn't show up in court."

"So isn't that the same thing?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, so then why-"

"I don't know. I mean, the way it was she could still petition for visitation and she had a legal right to make contact with me or whatever but now it's like she's nothing. She has no more rights than a stranger."

"Someone needs to go to LA and slap some sense into her." Gustav sighed and shook his head. "I'll go."

"No, that's not necessary." Tom tried to suppress a smile. He knew Gustav was mostly serious.

"Whatever. That's fucked up though. You know that, right?" Gustav bit his lip and breathed out of his nose. "So I have more rights than her?"

Tom shrugged one shoulder. "Sure. I guess."

"That's okay." Gustav reached for Bradyn's single exposed ankle and yanked the little boy out as he shrieked with delight. "I'm probably better for him anyway." Gustav swung Bradyn up and landed him on his hip. "Right, buddy?"

"Yeah!" Bradyn shouted as Gustav tickled his sides then tossed him into the pile of cushions again.

"Yeah, speaking of that. I, uh- I have to name legal guardians for him in case-"

"In case you kick the bucket."

"Right."

"So well-" Tom blushed.

"Shut up." Gustav smiled and squinted at Tom. "Me?"

"Well, you're one of them, yeah."

"After-"

"My parents are first but if they're unable to take care of him I'm going to put Bill and you."

Gustav held his hands up in front of him. "Bill is cool and all but I'm not marrying him just to raise your kid."

Tom laughed. He should have expected such a reaction from Gustav. "I just mean that between the two of you, you will have legal guardianship of him. You don't have to marry him. Nadiehn has dibs on him anyway."

"Ha."

Tom grinned. "You guys can decide to let the other with their wife raise him or whatever. That'll be up to you."

"Seriously? Me?"

"You'll make a great dad someday, Gustav. To your own kids."

"Hmph." Gustav made a discouraging sound but was flattered just the same.

"And I'd like nothing more than to have you take care of Bradyn should something happen to me."

"That's insane."

"You're okay with it though?"

"Okay? Hell yeah, I'm okay with it." Gustav laughed as Bradyn bounded out of the pile again. He lifted the little boy up and kissed his temple. "Georg will be jealous as hell though."

"Georg is going to have a herd of his own kids someday." Tom shrugged. "Can you imagine the mouths on those kids though? He doesn't need kids right now."

"Not ever."

Tom shrugged again and smiled. "If you and Bill decide that Georg would be a good dad, and I'm sure one day he will be, then you can do that. It's just up to you guys. I know you'll think everything through. Or, well, Bill will. He'll be the brains, you'll be the heart."

Gustav opened his mouth to make a smart remark about being the heart but it died on his lips as the full impact of what Tom said sunk in. He looked at Bradyn, seeing him in a whole new light. "Well, thanks." Gustav grinned up at Tom.

"You're welcome." Tom said softly as he reached to mess Bradyn's hair.

"Daddy, I have kickin ana toy?" Bradyn asked as he wiggled to the floor.

"Yeah. Are you ready to go get lunch?"

"Yeah."

"Did he eat anything?" Tom asked Gustav as he looked around for Bradyn's backpack.

"Um, no. He didn't say he was hungry or anything."

"Okay." Tom shrugged and caught Gustav's look with a laugh. "It's okay, Gustav, he didn't have to eat."

"Okay." Gustav almost looked relieved as he fetched the backpack from under the pile of blankets. "He went to the bathroom though. Twice. And he drank a lot of grape juice."

"Okay." Tom looked down at Bradyn. "Do you have to go potty before we go?"

"No."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." Bradyn nodded and grabbed Tom's fingers to swing on them.

"Then let's get out of here." He led Bradyn toward the front door. "What do you say to Gustav?"

"Bye, Goose-gog." Bradyn mumbled.

"And?" Tom prodded him with a smile. Bradyn had manners, he just needed coaching sometimes.

"Danke." Bradyn smiled up at Gustav and waved before pulling on his father's fingers hard enough to make them pop.

"See you later." Gustav waved and leaned on the wall. "Have a good lunch."

"I'll call you later." Tom said over his shoulder as Bradyn pulled him out the front door, making a beeline to the car in the driveway.

"See ya." Gustav went to the front door and watched them get in the car before he shut the door and sighed heavily. Never in a million years did he ever think he'd see his friend so domesticated, so focused on someone else, so paternal. Gustav smiled slowly. He was glad for the change in Tom and for the difference Bradyn had made in all their lives.

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When Tom got home, he dropped the thick envelope on the desk in his office and left it there, putting it as far from his mind as possible. He and Bradyn spent the rest of the weekend buying last minute gifts and wrapping paper, though he put off the actual wrapping until later. That was his least favorite part and if he had his way, he wouldn't get it done until Christmas Eve. Which, now that he thought about it, was right around the corner.

On Monday morning, Tom woke up before Bradyn and sat on the edge of his bed, enjoying the silence of the large house so often filled with noise. As he closed his eyes and flopped back onto his thick comforter, the phone beside his bed rang. To keep it from ringing again, Tom answered it. "Hello?" He cleared his throat of its early morning fullness.

"Hey, babe. Did I wake you?" Tayla asked quickly.

"No. No, I'm up."

"You are?"

"Kinda." Tom smiled at the worry in her voice. "I was sitting up. What's up?"

"I-" She paused. "Nothing, I was just calling to say hi."

"At seven thirty in the morning, you decided you needed to call and say hi?" He didn't laugh but anyone could tell that he was heading that way. "It's too early to do the math. What time is it there?" She had a real reason for calling and it had nothing to do with wanting to say hi, he just wondered if she'd actually say it this time.

"It's one thirty in the morning here. And, yes, I'm calling to say hi." Tayla mentally kicked herself for thinking she could tell him she was moving in over the phone. If there was ever a time she needed to gauge his reaction to something, it was then. She thought quickly. "I also wanted to make sure I gave you my flight information for tomorrow because it changed."

"Yeah, you told me. You'll be in at six thirty instead of four. You emailed me the changed itinerary and you called me yesterday."

"Okay. I just wanted to make sure."

"I'll be there to get you. As crazy as the airport will be on Christmas Eve, we'll be there."

"With Seppel?"

"Um, actually, I don't think so. We'll probably go solo and hope for the best. I don't want to bother him on the holiday."

"That's what security is there for."

"I know. Don't worry about it." He smiled and stood up slowly.

"I won't." She countered with a raised eyebrow. "So how are you doing? How's Bradyn?"

"Bradyn's good." He avoided the first question. "He hasn't said anything. Actually, he's been kind of quiet."

"Is he excited about Christmas?"

"Yeah. I'm not sure how he feels about a strange guy coming in the house though." Tom actually smiled and laughed a little. "He keeps asking about our alarm and Lucy and stuff. It's cute."

"Aww, you'll have to put it on Santa bypass or something."

"That's a good idea."

"I have a whole suitcase of gifts for him." Tayla smiled.

"Uh oh."

"It's not that bad but he's so easy to spoil."

"I'll have to draw the line, you know. I don't want all you guys spoiling him."

Tayla laughed and bit her tongue. "Oh, of course not. That's what mom- " She caught herself and coughed lightly. "That's what daddies are for."

An uncomfortable silence fell on the line and Tom exhaled, letting his smile fade with the breath. "So how- How am I supposed to explain this to him?" He asked softly.

"I don't know." Tayla shook her head and bit her lower lip. She hated being so far away from him when it was obvious he needed someone there.

"I can't tell him she died because- Just because I can't do that. I can't tell him she doesn't want to see him any more, that would break his little heart. I don't know how to do this."

"I know." Tayla frowned and tried to think of something to say that would make his situation not feel so hopeless. "I wish-" She sighed. "I wish there was something I could do."

"Thanks." Tom whispered and ran his hand over his head. "I need my braids redone."

Tayla smiled slightly and licked her lips. "You'll have to go do that then."

"Yeah." He nodded and took a deep breath. "I told Gustav."

"You told him what?"

"About Astrid."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. He wants to fly to LA and kick her ass." Tom tried not to laugh. "Typical Gustav, you know? He's so protective of everyone, especially Bradyn. He's a big talker and everything but still, he was ready to go slap some sense into her."

"That was nice of him to offer."

"Yeah." Tom smiled, though inside he still felt like he was going to be sick. "I guess since he was there for Bradyn first, he still feels really responsible and everything. I mean, even though it's been almost a year."

"Well, that makes sense." Tayla nodded. "And I'm sure all the guys kind of feel like he's theirs too. Their nephew at least."

"I know they do." Tom's brow creased slowly. He knew the guys loved Bradyn but it still worried him. "And I really appreciate that. It was cool to hear that Gustav wanted to go kick her ass though. It made me feel less guilty for thinking the same thing."

"It wouldn't help anything."

"I know." Tom shook his head. "Joshua talked to her lawyer again. She's changed her number and even moved out of her apartment. There's no number listed for her in the directory. It's like she's just disappeared again."

"He looked?"

"I asked him to."

"Tom."

"I had a letter for her and a picture of Bradyn for her to have. I just- I feel like she should have that."

"But don't you think- I mean, that's kind of mean."

"It's not mean. It's her son."

"Not anymore."

"She's still his mother."

"Tom, I know what you're saying, and I know you didn't mean it in a mean way, but she gave him up. She doesn't want anything to do with him and you sending her a letter with a picture of him, that would only hurt her."

"Good."

"Tom."

He pressed his hands against his eyes and took a deep breath. "I just don't want her to forget. She sent a letter for him when he gets older and I guess I was just sending that for when she got older. I don't know. Anyway, we can't locate her. Her lawyer said we could send it to her and she'd make sure Astrid was aware that she had it."

"Did you send it to her lawyer then?"

"No, not yet." Tom shook his head. "And then what about this one she sent Bradyn? Should I let him read it when he gets older? What could it possibly say that would make this okay? If my mom had abandoned me when I was two and left me with nothing but a letter and a picture or whatever, there's nothing she could put in that letter that would make me not be mad at her. If she didn't want him, she could have put him up for adoption when he was born. She could have done so many things before all of this but she didn't. She should have made her decision when she was pregnant." He sighed.

"She made it last month instead."

"After getting Bradyn attached to her and leaving him, then coming back just to do it all over. That's not what a loving parent would do."

"Which is why she removed herself from the situation completely." Tayla said. "I don't agree with what she did, Tom, not at all. I don't agree with a lot of things she has done but she did the best thing by leaving. She knew she wasn't being a good parent and she knew she couldn't rely on herself to take care Bradyn and she didn't want to hurt him any more. It may seem like a cowardly thing to do but it took a lot of strength for her to do that."

"I wish she would have put that strength into Bradyn instead of leaving him like this."

"I do too." Tayla nodded. That was partially true. She wished Astrid could be the good and kindhearted mother that Bradyn deserved but, since she couldn't pull herself together enough to do, that she was glad Astrid was out of his life and Tom's.

"I just- I need to get away from all of this. Maybe we can go somewhere?"

"After Christmas? Sure, maybe. If you don't have to work."

"We're off until after the New Year. I think I'll need it."

"Okay, well we can talk about it when I get there."

"Tomorrow night."

"Tomorrow night." Tayla smiled and rested her head in her hands. "You'll be okay until then?"

Tom paused and considered that while his stomach did a few twists and turns. "Yeah. Yeah, I'll be- I'm fine."

She waited a few seconds to see if he needed to add anything. "I'll call you before I leave tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay."

"I love you." She added softly.

"I love you too." Tom whispered. "I love you too."

Tayla hung up the phone and frowned. Words just wouldn't be enough this time and she knew it. With a soft sigh she clicked her phone back on and made another call. The most impulsive move she'd made in a while.

----------------

"Hey." Kaelah leaned on the door frame to Tayla's room. She stood there in her nightshirt with a bagel in one hand and her hairbrush in the other. "Where are you going?"

"Germany."

"I thought you weren't leaving until late tomorrow?"

"I was. But I'm going today. He's- I just need to go."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah." Tayla forced a smile as she looked up at her friend. "Yeah. It's just kinda hard right now, you know? So I'm going to surprise him."

"You're the best almost-live-in girlfriend ever." Kaelah laughed and shook her head as she took another bite of her bagel.

"Whatever." Tayla rolled her eyes and folded her sweater into her suitcase.

"Are you coming back?"

Tayla stopped packing and leaned back against the wall. "Honestly?" She pursed her lips and thought for a moment. "I don't know. My furniture and stuff is all going to be here so I guess I'll have to but other than that-" She offered a small genuine smile. "I think this will be it. I just feel at home there. Like that's where I'm supposed to be."

"I understand."

"I love this place. I love living here with you." Tayla explained quickly. "But it's just that there- I don't know- It's different. It's all so right."

"I'm the one that's been pressuring you to move there. You're preaching to the choir here." Kaelah laughed. "Do you need any help?"

"No, I've got it. My ride will be here in like, an hour though."

Kaelah nodded. "I'll keep an ear out."

"Thank you." Tayla smiled then reached back in her bureau for her jeans.

"So when are you going to tell him?"

Tayla smiled but winced slightly. "Would Christmas morning be too cheesy?"

"Not at all. You could wrap yourself up with a bow and-" Kaelah was interrupted as a flip flop flew through the air. "I'm kidding!" She laughed and ducked out the door. "I'll let you know when your ride gets here."

"Thank you." Tayla sighed at the clothes she was still trying to pack.

"Anytime." Kaelah smiled and left Tayla alone to finish packing.

----------------

The cab pulled up at the security gate of Tom's housing community and stopped to let Tayla out. It was just after dusk and the street lights flickered before coming on one at a time all the way up the street. "I'll just be a second. I need to punch in the code." She said to the driver as she opened the back door on the driver's side. She walked to the box and keyed in the five digit code for Tom's house, then hopped back in the cab as the engine idled. "Thanks."

"Sure thing. Where'm I headed?" The cab driver smiled in the rear view mirror and waited for her to give directions.

Tayla directed him down the well lit streets in the quiet community to Tom's house at the far end of the last street. "This is it. Thank you." They both exited the car and got her bags out of the trunk. She didn't have much but she was grateful for the hand up to the front door. Tayla thanked him again before she paid him, leaving a generous tip in his hand as well.

"No problem. Thank you." The driver smiled and waved. He hopped back in the driver's seat. Tayla walked back to the front door and prayed that he'd be home. Through the glass to the side of the front door, Tayla could see lights on at the back of the house. She knocked softly, then tapped her feet as she waited for Tom to answer. After a few seconds, she heard foot steps inside, then someone leaned against the door.

Tayla smiled up at the peep hole as the porch light came on and the locks clicked loudly. "Hi." She smiled sweetly as he pulled the door open.

"Hi? Tayla, what are you doing here? I thought-" He pulled her in for a tight hug.

"You sounded like you needed someone here." She said into his shoulder.

"I needed you. Thank you." Tom whispered and kissed her softly.

"Can I come in?" Tayla laughed and looked past him into the house.

"Yeah, in just a second." Tom smiled and took her face in his hands to kiss her again. "I'm so glad you're here." His eyes danced as his fingertips brushed her hair out of her eyes.

"Me too." She whispered as they stepped into the house. Tom held her hand tight as he led the way down the hall to the family room.

"Am I interrupting?" She smiled at the large bowl of popcorn on the table.

"I was going to watch a movie." Tom shrugged.

"What movie?"

"Um, I hadn't decided yet." Tom couldn't stop smiling every time he looked at her. "I thought you weren't coming in until tomorrow night?"

"I made a few changes." Tayla nodded then stepped closer to Tom.

Tom sighed and pulled her to him again, just happy to feel her in his arms. "I love you, Tayla."

"I love you too." She smiled and kissed him again. He wouldn't let her go until he'd had enough and that was going to take a while. They stood in the living room locked together until they were both out of breath. "Tell him now." A voice in Tayla's head said. She blushed hotly and he wrote it off to the barrage of kisses he'd just covered her with.

"I'm glad you're here. This just feels so right." He left his arms around her waist and rested his forehead against hers.

"It sure does but that popcorn smells too good to pass up." Tayla laughed and spun out of his arms and to the couch. She sat down and took a handful before she tucked her feet up under her.

"It's kettle corn. Have you tried that?"

"It's my favorite." She nibbled on the snack as Tom sat down and leaned halfway onto her lap. "So I'm sure your mind has been elsewhere but have you thought about what to do for Bradyn's birthday?" Tayla asked as she moved the bowl closer to both of them.

"Not really. But it's not until next month. I have time."

"It's like, a week away. You need to send out invitations." She laughed.

"Invitations? I can just call the guys."

"Tom." Tayla sighed. "You're not going to invite any kids? He's three. He should invite his friends."

"He doesn't- I mean, we don't usually hang out with a bunch of other kids."

"Well, no but what about the kids in his class at preschool? You could invite them."

"I don't know. He hasn't been in a while and it might be weird. I think we'll just do something with family and friends." Tom slid down until his head was nestled in Tayla's lap.

"Well, you have to have decorations and balloons and all that. That's half the fun of having a birthday party." Tayla laughed and shook her head. "See you have to go to Party-Extra or something and get little cartoon invitations and matching table cloths and plates and all that."

"And goodie bags?"

"Yes!"

"I'm not very good at stuff like that."

"Oh, come on. You decorated his room in kid's stuff. You can throw together one toddler's party." She nibbled on the popcorn and rolled her eyes. "I can help you if you want but I think you'll have fun with it once you get started."

"Okay." Tom sighed. "I'll ask him what kind of birthday he wants to have after Christmas, then we can go shopping."

"Yay." Tayla said softly as she dropped a piece of popcorn into Tom's open mouth.

"Thank you again for coming."

"No problem." Tayla smiled back.

"You don't by any chance-" He paused and licked his lips.

"What?"

"Like to wrap presents, do you?"

"I don't mind it, why?"

"Well-" Tom smiled sheepishly and shrugged.

Tayla sighed and roller her eyes. "You're kidding. You haven't wrapped anything yet?"

"I don't like to wrap." He argued in his defense. "And I've wrapped some of them. Just not all of them."

"Beautiful." She sighed then sunk deeper into his lap. "We can do that tomorrow. Do you have any other plans?"

"No. My big plans were to start wrapping then to pick you up in the evening."

"Well, now you don't have to."

"Right."

Tayla paused and listened to the heater kick on above her. "Will you sing me a Christmas song?"

"No." Tom laughed softly.

"Please?"

"Tayla-"

"Just one. A short one. Come on, I flew all the way here for you."

Tom relented. He'd never be able to say no to her. "Which one?"

"You pick." She pulled his arms closer around her waist as she closed her eyes and sighed.

"Okay." He cleared his throat, gave a little chuckle, then quietly launched into Ein kleiner weißer Schneemann which is the German version of Jingle Bells, setting the mood for how he hoped the rest of Christmas would go. Light and fun, without the gloom of the previous few weeks overhead. Rain or no rain, Tom was determined to make this a Christmas to remember.

----------------

Christmas Eve was spent doing the ultimate last minute shopping at the few stores that were actually open. It was a madhouse but somehow they managed to pick up three rolls of wrapping paper and some gift cards for the people that would be hard to buy for. By noon they were home, hungry and tired.

Tayla fixed a frozen pizza which they shared on the floor as they wrapped presents. Bradyn was in charge of putting bows on the gifts but he got a little out of hand so he was relegated to amusing Lucy in the back yard. When lunch had settled, they all napped upstairs on Tom's large bed, then went back downstairs at three to wrap a few more presents and play around. The only thing that made it feel like Christmas Eve to them was the Christmas music that was on constant replay in the background and the Christmas tree shimmering in the corner with the ever-growing mound of wrapped gifts.

"This is the best Christmas I've had in a long time." Tayla said as she smiled at Tom over the Chutes and Ladders game board on the floor.

"And it's only Christmas Eve." He winked and moved his piece up a ladder.

After a few failed attempts at board games with Bradyn and a late dinner, Tom took Bradyn upstairs to get ready for bed. He dressed the little boy in his fuzzy green footed pajamas with a zipper up the front and a snap at the neck. "There you go, now you'll be warm all night long."

"Is code, Daddy."

"Yeah, it's a little cold." Tom nodded with a smile. "But the heater is on and you have cool jammies."

"Yeah." Bradyn giggled then yawned.

Tom stood up and lifted Bradyn to his hip. He placed a quick kiss on Bradyn's cheek before running his hand over the little boys hair. "We need to go downstairs and get ready for Santa, huh?" Bradyn nodded in response and they headed back down the stairs. Tom softly hummed along to the Christmas music playing in the family room as he headed for the kitchen.

He set Bradyn on the tile floor and pulled the pantry door open. "Okay, get one of your plates." Tom instructed his son. Bradyn pulled open a low drawer by the sink and produced a plastic plate for Tom. "Okay, Bob the Builder." Tom smiled down at the plate.

"Yeah." Bradyn giggled and fidgeted in place.

"Okay. First things first. Cookies." Tom looked his choices. Oreos, Chips Ahoy, pink and white animal cookies or Nutter Butters.

"A cookie?" Bradyn frowned and looked at the plate in his hand.

"Yeah, you need to leave cookies out for Santa."

"Why?"

"Because Santa has to visit everyone's house in one night and I bet he's pretty hungry. So we'll leave a cookie or two and some milk for him."

"Santa like milk?"

"Yeah. Milk is good for you." Tom smiled and set two Oreos on the plate.

"Don't forget a carrot." Tayla smiled from the couch.

"A carrot?" Tom gave Tayla a look.

"For the reindeer."

"Oh! That's right." Tom opened the refrigerator and looked through the vegetable bins.

"Daddy?" Bradyn's look of concern made Tom smile. "We hava deer ina house? Daddy, Lucy no lie deers."

"No, the reindeer will stay outside but Santa will take the carrot out to them. Remember Rudolph? We saw his movie on TV?"

"Yeah."

"See? Rudolph will be outside and Santa will bring him the carrot to eat so he doesn't get hungry."

"Oh." He looked skeptical but he took the carrot from Tom and put it on the plate. "I doe wanna see a deers ou-side."

"You won't see the reindeer. You'll be asleep. You won't even know they're here."

"I be seep? An you an Tayla?"

"Yeah. When we all go to sleep, Santa will come with his reindeer and drop off a bunch of presents for you."

"An a pesent for you an for Tayla?"

Tom laughed and picked Bradyn up. "I think Santa might have a present for us in his bag too." He carried Bradyn to the family room and helped him set the plate on the little end table beside the glass of milk.

"Daddy, Lucy doe lie Santa." Bradyn frowned and shook his head. The whole Santa thing was obviously bothering him more than Tom or Tayla expected.

"What if I let Lucy sleep in your room tonight? Will that make her feel better?"

"Yeah." Bradyn smiled and practically sighed with relief.

"Okay. Then we'll do that."

"It's getting late though, buddy. You should go to bed so Santa can come and fill your stocking." Tayla stood up from her position on the floor and stepped over the rolls of wrapping paper. She set her scissors on the counter and walked over to where the stockings were hung.

"He put a pesent ina socking?" Bradyn's eyes grew.

"Well, I don't know. I'm sure you'll get a bunch of presents but usually he puts candy in the stockings."

"He put Lucy ina socking? She no lie socking!"

"No! Santa wouldn't put Lucy in a stocking! He likes doggies. He only puts things like chocolate and little toys." Tayla laughed carefully as she ran her hand over Bradyn's head.

Bradyn scowled and looked toward the garage where the alarm panel was. "Daddy, Santa come ina house and push?"

"Yeah, Santa will punch in the right code."

"He know?"

"He knows it. There's a special Santa code that all alarms have so that he can put the presents where they belong."

"Kay." Bradyn still didn't look sure but he was growing too tired to argue. He yawned once and rested his head against Tom's shoulder.

"Okay, let's get you up to bed. The sooner you fall asleep, the sooner it'll be morning." Tom smiled and hopped up the steps. "Come on, Lucy. You get to sleep in Bradyn's room tonight." The dog jumped up from her warm corner in the kitchen and trotted up the stairs. "Say good-night to Tayla." Tom prompted from the top step.

"Nigh, Tayla."

"Goodnight, sweetie." Tayla called up the steps. She smiled and listened to the single set of footsteps walk around above her head.

----------------

By the time Tom came back down, Tayla was back on the couch cutting another length of wrapping paper for yet another gift. On the speakers mounted on the walls, Christmas music played softly.

"Is he asleep?" Tayla smiled up at him as she cut a piece of tape.

"Close enough." Tom laughed and fell onto the couch beside her. "He's totally not sure about Santa coming into the house."

"That's so cute."

"I know." Tom smiled and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "When I was a kid, my dad used to stand in the hall at like, three in the morning and say ho, ho, ho at the top of his voice, as deep as he could. We would hear that and know that Santa had been there. I can remember Bill and me waiting as long as we could, laying wide awake in our beds just waiting until it was safe to run out and dive into the presents to see what Santa brought before we'd run back upstairs to wake up mom and dad."

"You can't do that." Tayla tried not to laugh as she shook her head.

"No, I know." Tom smiled. "Maybe next year."

"Yeah." She nodded. "He'd be scarred for life if you did that this year."

"Oh, no kidding."

"Do you have his Santa presents ready?"

"They're in the garage."

"Do you wrap them?"

"No, not Santa presents." Tom shook his head. "I'll go get them when we're done here." He looked at the shrinking pile of unwrapped presents.

"We're almost done." Tayla covered her mouth as she yawned loudly.

"You can nap all you want tomorrow."

"Your family is coming over." She gave him a look.

"All the more reason."

"Yeah right." She laughed. She reached for a coffee table book with a post-it note that said Kitsune on it. "Can you pass the angel paper please?"

"Sure." Tom happily obliged, then sat back in the corner of the couch.

They wrapped the rest of the presents and stood up slowly, not quite believing that it was only nine o'clock. Tayla stood up and grunted as she stretched her arms over her head. "I can't believe we're done."

"Not quite."

"Not quite?" Tayla whined and looked back at the unrealistically large pile of gifts under the tree. "What else is there?"

"I have something." Tom massaged her shoulders quickly as he passed her and stepped into the kitchen.

"I know we're technically supposed to wait until tomorrow-" Tom shrugged shyly and opened a small drawer in the desk. "But this is kind of just for you, you know? It's special."

"What?" Tayla smiled slowly and gave him a cautious look.

"It's just a little something." Tom held a small box out to her and cleared his throat.

"Tom, I don't-" Her mind went blank. For a second, she didn't even want to take it, fearing that it might be a ring. A special ring. A special ring that she knew she wasn't ready for. Her breath caught in her throat as she wondered how to say "not yet" and have it not sound like a rejection.

"It's nothing big. I mean, look how small the box is." He laughed softly and pushed the box closer.

"You didn't have to buy me anything." Tayla blushed and carefully took the box from the palm of his hand, all the while wondering if Tom had completely lost his mind. Not only was she not ready for it but he wasn't either.

"I know I didn't have to. I actually bought this a few months ago but you weren't ready for it then."

"You think I'm ready now?" A blush spread across her cheeks as her palms began to sweat.

"I know you are." Tom laughed.

"What if I'm not?"

"Impossible." He shook his head and tugged on the red bow. "Come on. Open it up and say yes already. I've had that sitting in the drawer for months."

Tayla's heart pounded almost all the way through her chest. "Tom, I- You shouldn't be spending your money on little gifts."

"It's my money and I can spend it on whatever I want." He smiled and pulled the bow loose. "Besides, it's like- A buck fifty. It's not going to break me. I'll recycle that bag of cans on the patio and get it back." He laughed and dropped the bow on the counter.

Suddenly nothing made sense. "What?" Tayla knit her brow together and looked up at Tom in confusion. "I don't-"

"Am I going to have to open your present for you?" Tom tapped the top of the box. "Come on, you're almost there." He laughed and put her hand on the top of the box.

Tayla carefully lifted the top of the box and let out the breath she'd been holding. A small silver key sat on the cotton lining of the box with a tiny red bow tied around the top. "Is this what I think it is?" She smiled slowly.

"Yes." Tom laughed and took it out of the box. "I think we're both ready for this, don't you?"

"I think so."

"Will you move in with me? Us?"

"Yes."

"Really?" He smiled in surprise and closed his hand around the key.

"I've been ready since Thanksgiving actually. I was going to tell you the morning Astrid-" She stopped and licked her lips. "That morning. And then everything kind of went crazy for a while and I didn't think it would be the right time."

"But now it's the perfect time."

"Yes. I think so." Tayla nodded and held her hand out for the key. He placed it in her hand, then closed her fingers around it.

"Don't lose that."

"I won't." She shook her head and hopped up on her toes to kiss him quickly. "I get to live here." She whispered.

"Yeah, you do." He whispered back as the doorbell rang. "Hey, honey, can you get the door?"

"Yay!" Tayla laughed and bounced toward the front door with the key still in her hand. She pulled the door open and was thrilled to see Bill and Nadiehn standing there. "Hey!"

"Hey, Tayla, how's it going?" Bill gave her a quick hug as he walked in with a brightly wrapped gift under his arm.

"Good. Guess who lives here now?" She asked.

"Who?" Bill frowned and looked from Tayla to Nadiehn.

"You?" Nadiehn asked excitedly.

"Yes!" Tayla bounced up and down and hugged Nadiehn.

"It's about time!" Nadiehn hugged her back and the girls giggled to themselves.

"Hey." Bill nodded at Tom as he walked up. "What's that about?" He looked at the girls acting like teenagers.

"Tayla's moving in."

"Didn't you ask her like, a month ago?"

"A few months ago actually."

"Okay-"

"Well, she finally said yes today. So it's official."

"She's been here for weeks."

"I know." Tom laughed. "Today was just a technicality."

"I see." Bill smiled and shook his head. "So here." He handed the gift off to Tom. "We came by to drop off our gifts because we're driving out tonight."

"Tonight?"

"Yeah. Don't get me started." Bill rolled his eyes but laughed anyway. "Remember, I'm doing Christmas Day with Nay's family."

"That's right." Tom nodded. "That's why Mom and Gordon are coming here."

"We wanted to make sure you had these for Christmas morning." Nadiehn said as she lifted a green bag overflowing with gifts. "Where do you want them?"

"Out by the tree." Tayla took the bag and led the way.

"You guys can take yours tonight then too." Tom said as he knelt by the side of the tree where he'd stuck the gifts for the guys.

"Is everyone coming over tomorrow?" Bill asked.

"I don't know. I think Georg's in Halle with his family."

"What about Gustav?"

Tom shrugged. "I'll be home. I'm sure I'll talk to them."

"Of course you will." Bill smiled and pulled Tom in for a hug. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas."

"It's been one hell of a year, huh?"

"You can say that again." Tom ran his hands over his braids as Tayla sorted out the gifts for them.

"Who woulda guessed?" Bill and Tom said in unison, then laughed almost in harmony.

"What are you doing for New Years?" Bill asked.

Tom shrugged. "I don't know. I've- My mind has been going nine billion other directions."

"True."

"I'm probably just gonna stay home though, you know." He raised his eyes to the ceiling, indicating the sleeping boy upstairs.

"That actually sounds like a good idea."

"Eh." Tom shrugged and tried to stifle a yawn.

"We should get going." Nadiehn said as she and Tayla reloaded her bag with the gifts from Tom and Tayla.

"Yeah, we have hours of driving ahead of us." Bill tried not to roll his eyes for the millionth time that night.

"They have planes that can get you there quicker, you know." Tayla laughed.

"This is a last minute thing." Bill explained.

"And driving is more fun." Nadiehn took Bill's hand and bounced up and down.

"Have fun." Tom laughed lightly and patted Bill's shoulder.

"Yeah. Thanks." Bill scoffed as they headed for the door. They all said their good-byes and promised to call to make plans for New Years before Bill and Nadiehn walked out to their car. The path was illuminated by small green and red lights and the sound of their arguing drifted through the cold night air to the couple on the patio.

"That's gonna be a long drive." Tom laughed.

"You can say that again." Tayla hugged herself against the cold. "It smells like rain."

"That won't make it any better." Tom laughed and looked up at the sky as the first drops fell to the sidewalk.

"I'm glad we get to stay inside." Tayla took a step into the house, avoiding the rain.

"We need to go set up for Santa." Tom sighed and tried to keep his childlike enthusiasm to a minimum.

Tayla bounced on her toes with excitement. This was the first time she was going to play Santa and she could hardly wait. "Yes, we do."

"Then we need to go to bed because Bradyn was practically humming with excitement tonight. He's gonna be up at the crack of dawn."

"Aww, that's half the fun!" Tayla shut the front door behind them, then followed Tom back to the living room to admire the mound of Christmas gifts and take in the scent of the fresh pine tree and cinnamon candles.

----------------

Tom and Tayla spent an hour getting everything set up perfectly for Bradyn's first Christmas morning with Tom. They took a bite of the cookies Bradyn left out and drank the glass of milk. Tom left the empty glass with the cookie crumbs on the plate where Bradyn had left them before he fell onto the couch with a happy smile.

"I hope I remembered everything." He said softly as he draped his arm over his eyes.

"I think you got it all." Tayla smiled and collapsed onto Tom's lap. He pulled her close with her back on his chest and his chin on her shoulder.

"I got the cookies and the milk. The presents are all set out." Tom paused to think.

"The stockings are stuffed."

"The alarm is set to Santa mode." He laughed.

"The gifts for Lucy are put up so she doesn't get any ideas."

"I think that's all."

"Yeah." Tayla sighed and sunk into the heat of Tom's embrace. It was getting late but she was too keyed up from the excitement of everything.

They sat like that in silence for a while just watching the lights twinkle on the huge tree and listening to the soft Christmas music Tom had had playing all day. "It feels kind of weird to be here for Christmas." Tom said softly.

"Yeah? Where do you usually spend Christmas?"

"At my parents' house. I usually go there with Bill and sleep in my old room and do all the family stuff there."

"Hmm."

"But this year, Bill is going to spend the day with Nadiehn's family and I have my own little family." Tom's arms tightened around her waist as he kissed her temple.

"Yes, you do." She smiled. "What time is everyone coming over tomorrow?"

"They'll be here around noon. Mom wanted to give me the chance to do Santa and everything with Bradyn before we were bombarded."

"That was nice of her." Tayla laughed quietly.

"Yeah." Tom sighed. "You know, if last year on Christmas anyone had told me I'd be right here doing what we just did, I'd have thought they were insane."

"Me too."

"I wouldn't trade it for anything though."

"Neither would I." Tayla fought the urge to yawn.

Their breathing became so close that it was hard to know whose chest was rising and whose was falling or if they were the same. "When, uh- When I got the paperwork for everything, there was a letter in there."

"From?"

"Yeah. From Astrid."

"Oh." Part of her wanted to tell him to stop talking, to stop ruining the moment with more talk about Astrid. It seemed that every time she got comfortable or settled in, Astrid would be brought up and knock everything slightly off balance.

"There were two actually." Tom continued softly. "One for me and one for Bradyn."

"Hm."

"I don't know what to do with them though. Should I read mine? Or both of them? Or neither of them?"

"Well, you don't have to, you know."

"I know." Tom said softly as his breath warmed the back of her ear. "I just, what if it explains why she did this?"

"Is there anything she could say that would make her decision okay in your mind?"

"I don't know." He shook his head slowly and laced his fingers through hers across her stomach. "But I don't think there's anything in there that would make me think any less of her."

"If you want to read it, go ahead." She said just above a whisper. Tayla felt him shrug and hold her tighter. "Do you want me to leave you alone?"

"No."

"Do you want to read it?"

"Yeah." He nodded as she began to sit up.

"Where is it? I'll get it."

"It's in my office on the desk." Tom sat back on the couch and dropped his arm above his head.

"Okay." Tayla straightened her tank top and padded up the stairs to Tom's office. He heard her walking around, then thump lightly down the stairs. She handed him the large envelope that obviously held more than just the letter.

"C'mere." Tom said softly as he reached for her. He pulled her back into his lap and wrapped his legs around hers as she rested her head on his collar bone. "I just want you here when I read this." He kissed her temple and smiled as he opened the large envelope and pulled the small sealed one with his name on it out.

"I'm not going anywhere."

Tom smiled as Tayla placed her hand on his thigh and gave him a reassuring squeeze. "Here we go." Tom whispered as he slid his finger under the flap and pulled out the single sheet of lined paper. As the rain picked up, the heater kicked on inside the house to add a soft hum to the Christmas music playing in the background.

Tom took a deep breath and began to read the letter to himself as he gently rubbed Tayla's shoulder with his free hand. Just feeling her there and knowing that she would be there no matter what, made him much more able to read Astrid's letter. Tayla turned her head away from the letter and faced the back of the couch, her cheek barely touching Tom's hand as he massaged her shoulder.

----------------

Dear Tom,

I know you're upset and I know there is absolutely nothing I can say that will change that. I hope that you reading this means that you understand that I am human and that I can make mistakes. I also hope that eventually you will forgive me for everything I've done to hurt both you and Bradyn. That was never my intention.

First and foremost, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I could not be the kind of mother that Bradyn deserves. I'm sorry I couldn't be the kind of adult who could handle not only taking care of a child, but dealing with everything that came with that. I'm sorry I didn't tell you right from the start that I was pregnant and that Bradyn was yours. I could have tried so much harder but I- Well, I'm not going to make excuses. I thought I could do it but it is painfully obvious that I can't.

In the two years that I hid Bradyn from you, I hid myself from everyone. My mother kicked me out when she found out I was pregnant and like the scared and defiant child that I was, even at 18, I ran away and never looked back. I never contacted her again, never spoke with anyone in my family. I never made any effort to get help from her. My stupid idea of pride hurt not only me but Bradyn as well. Because of my selfishness, he will never know his aunt or uncle, his grandparents, his cousins or me really. You once told me that I must have done something right during those two years in order for Bradyn to turn out as great as he did. And I did. I did a few things right. I left him with a friend of mine who had two kids of her own. She knew what to do when I didn't have a clue. For two months, he stayed with her while I tried to get my life together. When I did get him back from her, I thought I could do it. And then when I discovered I still couldn't do it, I went into housing for homeless mothers where a staff there helped me out.

So, yes, in the two years I had him, the best things I did for him was leave him in the care of others. It kills me to know that there was not one ounce of maternal instincts in me. I had no clue what I was doing and I know that he ended up paying for it. Every time I'd think I could do it, like when I returned to get him this year, I'd slowly fall back down into my selfish behavior and end up hurting him more.

I've seen how happy he is with you and how happy you are with him. He adores you and that feeling is obviously mutual. You love him more than I ever could and you can give him so much more than I could ever even dream of. I don't mean just money either. Yes, you have the finances to literally give him everything but you have so much more than that. You have that little something that makes you a father. Something that was missing from me to make me a mother.

I love Bradyn. I love him as much as I possibly can. If there was a way to love him anymore, I would. But I cannot be a mother to him. As much as I want to think I can and as much as I have wanted to try... I just can't. That's not fair to you or to him, and it isn't good for me either. But as much as I love him, I know that you can, will, and do love him a million times more. It pains me to say that, it's not right for anyone to love a child more than their mother can, but you do. And that's my fault.

Giving up my parental rights to Bradyn was a way to assure myself that I wouldn't be able to go back and mess up his life in another three months, or six months, or three years. I chose to do this because if I didn't, I know that eventually I'd try to come back and get a second chance, a third chance even, to do things right. You and your big heart would give me that chance and I know that I would just continue on with this cycle. I want to change, I honestly do. But at my expense, not yours and definitely not Bradyn's.

I hope that someday you will find a kind and caring mother for Bradyn. Someone who can love him like a mother really should, just as much as you do. I hope that he will understand that there are people in this world who love him. Many, many people. And that I am one of them even though I can't be there to show him.

Thank you, Tom, for taking Bradyn and being both a mother and father for him. I'm sorry for any pain I have, or am, causing either of you.

Astrid

----------------

"Shit." Tom said under his breath as he clenched his eyes shut tightly.

"What?" Tayla asked.

"Here." He handed the letter to her and clasped his hands together across her stomach.

"Tom, I-"

"It's okay. It's not bad."

"I don't think I should read this. She wrote it for you, not me." Tayla shook her head and let the paper fold down on itself.

"I know but you're a part of this too. I think you should know the whole story." He nodded for her to read it. "Please?"

Tayla pondered it for a moment before she unfolded the letter again and started at the beginning. She read the words carefully, searching for some deeper meaning in them, but coming up short. The words Astrid chose meant something to her but it was lost on Tayla, the one who had been caring for Bradyn for the past few months. Tayla was not Bradyn's biological mother, she had no children of her own, yet she couldn't fathom just walking away from Bradyn. Or Tom.

When she was finished, she folded it again and sat it on the table. A heavy sigh passed her lips as she leaned back on Tom's chest. "Well, I don't really know what to say."

"I know."

"It's just- I can't even think of the word. It's for the best though. I have to believe that she and Joshua are right about that, Tom."

"I know. They are." Tom kissed her ear softly. "That doesn't make any of this any easier though. You and I know it's right but how will Bradyn ever understand that?"

"You'll help him." Tayla smiled over her shoulder. "What else is in the envelope? It felt heavy."

"Just the legal papers and some pictures." Tom shrugged. "Do you want to see them?"

"The pictures? Of Bradyn?"

"Yeah, when he was a baby."

A smile spread across Tayla's lips as the thought of seeing the two years that they'd missed in photographs. "I'd love to."

Tom shifted uncomfortably behind her and reached for the large envelope. He shook out the small stack of pictures and together they looked through them, commenting on how cute he was and how much he looked the same.

They came to the last one which was Bradyn sitting on Astrid's lap with a birthday cake in front of him. The cake was small, almost dwarfed by the two large candles in the middle. Bradyn was smiling but looking away from the cake while Astrid smiled and held him close.

"Wow. I never really noticed how much Bradyn looks like Astrid. I mean, in this picture you can really tell."

"Yeah." Tom nodded and looked at the picture over Tayla's shoulder. The similarities were eerie but Tom knew that if he held a picture of himself up next to it, Bradyn would look as much like him as he did Astrid. "It's weird though because sometimes I hate her so much but I see her in him every day. It's almost hard to love him so much because he looks like her." Tom said softly, just above a whisper. "I mean, that came out wrong."

"I know what you mean."

"I love him more than anything. I do but he looks just like her sometimes."

"I know." Tayla nodded and pulled his arms tighter around her waist. "But you know, he's starting to look and act more like you every day." She smiled and tilted her head to try to look up at him. "The way he talks and some of his expressions, they're all you."

"I know." Tom laughed softly. It was true. Bradyn was picking up little things like running his hand over his head and biting his lip when he was frustrated.

"Wanna talk about eerie? When he looks up at me and puckers his lips for a kiss with his eyes open? That's all you, honey. That's all you." Tayla laughed as she turned to kiss him.

"You're crazy."

"So are you." She sighed and stood up. "It's late."

Tom glanced at the clock and cringed. If Bradyn really was anything like Tom, he'd be up in a few short hours with the energy of a dozen two year olds, just waiting to tear into the presents. "Yeah, we'd better go to bed."

"Yeah." Tayla stopped and turned around to kiss Tom correctly. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas." He whispered back before he kissed her again and took her hand to guide her up the stairs and to their room. Their room. That was a phrase he'd been wanting to say for months and it was finally true. For once, things seemed to be falling into place instead of falling apart.

----------------

The morning light had barely touched the windows of Tom's room when the door creaked open and Bradyn ran to the side of the bed. "Daddy!" He whispered softly.

Tom's paternal ears picked up the barely audible sound and opened one eye. "Hey." He reached out and pulled Bradyn onto the bed with them. "Go back to-" Tom started with their usual routine for the mornings when Bradyn crawled into bed with him. "Wait. It's Christmas." Tom smiled.

"I sink Santa here." Bradyn whispered as he scooted under the covers in the canyon between Tom and Tayla.

"You think he's here right now?" Tom's eyebrows shot up in mock surprise.

"Yeah." Bradyn nodded. His eyes wide in a mixture of fear and excitement. "He have pesents?"

"I think he already left you some presents. Should we go down and see?"

"No, you." Bradyn shook his head.

"You want me to go look."

"Yeah."

"But they're your presents." Tom snickered lightly as Tayla rolled over and placed her hand on Bradyn's back.

She yawned and rubbed her eyes. "Why don't we all go downstairs and look?" Tayla asked as she tried to flatten her sleep-tangled hair.

"No, Daddy can go." Bradyn said stubbornly.

"Okay. I'll go down and check on things." Tom snickered. "Make sure everything is safe." He slid out from under the covers and reached for his sweatshirt, the downstairs was bound to be cooler than his room. "I'll be right back."

"You don't want to go see your presents with him?" Tayla asked as Bradyn snuggled close to her.

"No. Santa is dere."

"I see." She stifled a giggle as they waited for Tom to come back.

They heard Lucy follow Tom down the stairs, then the back door open under the bedroom. After a few minutes, Tom stood at the bottom of the steps and shouted. "It's safe to come down. Santa already left. There's lots of presents down here!"

"Oh! Let's go see!" Tayla stood up and pulled Tom's robe on before picking Bradyn up. "What do you think Santa brought for you?"

"A pesent?"

"What kind of present?"

"I doe no." Bradyn shook his head and yawned against Tayla's shoulder.

They walked down the stairs to Tom where he took Bradyn from Tayla. "You're going to freak out, buddy. You must have been a really good boy this year. There are all kinds of toys down here."

"For me?"

"Yeah, all for you." Tom set Bradyn on the floor and held his hand as they walked into the living room. He had turned the Christmas tree lights on so the corner seemed to twinkle over the enormous mound of presents. Music was playing softly as they stepped up to the pile.

Bradyn's mouth dropped open as he looked up at his dad. "A car!"

"Wow! Look at that! That's a car just like mine!"

"Is mine!" Bradyn ran over to the little electric car and tugged on the door.

"I think you can just climb in." Tom picked him up and set him in the driver's seat. "You fit perfectly!"

"Yeah!" Bradyn turned the steering wheel experimentally.

"After breakfast you can take it out in the backyard and try it out, okay?"

"Kay." Bradyn climbed out of the seat and looked at the other presents. "Wow!" He ran around and checked everything out. A pile of Dr. Seuss books, a toddler's tool bench with real working tools, a tricycle with an electric blue helmet and a Lego top table with three canisters of over-sized Legos.

"What time is it?" Tayla asked softly as Bradyn pried the top off of one of the Lego canisters.

"It's like, six thirty."

"Ugh."

"I know." Tom laughed. "Want me to make some coffee?"

"I'll make it." Tayla smiled and kissed his cheek. "Enjoy this. You only get to see his first Christmas once."

"He's had Christmas before."

"Not with you." She tilted her head to the side and smiled at Tom. He smiled back and tilted his head just the same, taking in the sight of her standing near the couch wearing his robe. They broke eye contact at the same moment and turned to look at Bradyn. The little boy was always so full of energy but that morning there was something different about him. About everything. Tayla quietly went to the kitchen and started a fresh pot of coffee as the excited squeals followed the Christmas music from the other room.

"Oh wow!" Bradyn laughed as he pulled more Santa presents out from under the tree. "Tayla! I have pay dough!"

Tayla cringed at the thought of play-dough being mashed into the carpet but forced a smile as the coffee brewed. Tom watched with wonder as his son's eyes glazed over. He thought to himself that Bradyn had never had a Christmas quite like this before.

Tom smiled as something inside changed. Ever since Bradyn dropped into his life, he'd get these pangs where everything went crystal clear for a moment. He'd tried to savor the feeling and remember the moment of each one but they'd eventually blended into each other. That moment was one and it joined the others in the haze of his memory.

"He's so happy." Tayla whispered, sneaking up beside him with an extra cup of coffee for him. "Here you go."

"Thanks." Tom took the coffee and kissed her quickly. "He's so excited. Look at him."

"He deserves this. You both do." Tayla blew on her coffee then sipped carefully. "What time is everyone getting here?"

"Um, around eleven. I figure they'll all sleep in a little."

"On Christmas? That's crazy." Tayla laughed and took another sip. The coffee warmed her from the inside out and gave her a little more life that early in the morning. "Are you going to make him wait to open the other presents until everyone gets here?"

"Yeah. He doesn't seem too concerned though." Tom smiled and drank his coffee black.

"He loves that car."

"I can't wait to see him driving around in it." Tom nodded then set his mug down. "Bradyn, what do you want for breakfast?"

"Candy!" Bradyn looked up with a chocolate smear across his lower lip. He'd found the Christmas stocking and already sampled a chocolate snowman.

"I don't think so." Tayla shook her head. "How about pancakes?"

"An candy?" Bradyn looked hopeful.

"You can have chocolate chip pancakes." She smiled and resigned to making him the sugary sweet but somewhat healthy breakfast.

"Yeah!" Bradyn climbed over his mini Escalade and tried out some of the tools on the tool bench.

Tom pulled Tayla close for a quick kiss, then said softly. "You didn't check your stocking."

"I have a stocking?" She looked surprised for a second, then spotted the two remaining red velvet stockings hanging on the mantle.

"Why don't you go see what Santa left for you?" Tom's grin looked almost mischievous as he pat her behind and gave her a gentle push toward the family room. "I'll start breakfast."

"What did you get?"

"Me? I didn't get you anything. Santa must have brought something." Tom feigned innocence as he pulled the pantry door open.

"Santa hava pesent for you?" Bradyn asked as Tayla leaned to get the stocking.

"I think so." Tayla took the stocking down and was surprised at the weight in the toe.

"What is?" Bradyn climbed onto her lap as she sat on the couch. "Tayla, I see?"

"Yeah, let's see what it is." Tayla reached in and pulled out an oblong shaped box that was weighted on only one end.

"What is?"

"I don't know." Tayla shook her head.

"Well, open it and find out." Tom set the pancake mix on the island and came over to join them on the couch.

"You really didn't need-"

"Santa likes giving presents. Come on already."

"Okay. Let's see what it is." Tayla let Bradyn help her unwrap the package to reveal a check box. "A box of checks?" She raised her eyebrow at Tom with a smile.

"Don't let the box fool you."

"I can open it." Bradyn pulled the top off the box and gasped. "A car!"

"A car?" Tayla looked at the matchbox car in the box sitting on a piece of cotton beside the garage door opener and a set of keys. "You didn't."

"No, I didn't. Santa did." Tom's eyes twinkled as he smiled.

"You did not." Tayla took the set of keys out of the box.

"There was some commotion on the street in the middle of the night. Let's go see." Tom took Bradyn's hand and pulled him off the couch. "Do you think Santa brought Tayla a car?"

"Yeah!" Bradyn laughed and bounced up and down. "An me a car!"

"That's right. You got a car too." Tom nodded.

"Tom!" Tayla jumped up and followed them to the front door. "I can't believe you."

"Open it." Tom nodded at the front door.

Almost reluctantly, Tayla reached for the handle and slowly turned it. "Tom-" She didn't know why she felt like scolding him. Probably because no matter what was on the other side of the door, the jacket she got for him wouldn't even come close to comparing.

"What?" He leaned over her shoulder and pulled the door open.

Tayla gasped then smiled and bounced up on her toes. A shiny dark blue Audi A1 with a bright red bow on top was parked at the curb. "Oh my God."

"Go see if the keys fit." Tom laughed as he and Bradyn stepped out and pulled Tayla behind them. They made it to the side of the car and she unlocked the door.

"It fits." Tayla's smile grew as she pulled the door open and slid into the driver's seat. "Ooo, a MP3 player."

"Of course. And look in the back."

"My seat!" Bradyn crawled between the seats and sat in the toddler seat.

"I can't believe you bought me a car."

"Well, we can't just have one car. I'll be working a lot and I would feel better knowing you had a car in case of an emergency."

"But how did- I mean, before last night-"

"I was counting on you saying yes."

"And if I didn't?"

Tom shrugged as if the thought had never really crossed his mind. "You'd have a long drive home to Connecticut and a shiny new car to drive around when you got there, I suppose. I'm not sure how you would have driven over the ocean though."

Tayla smiled and licked her lips with excitement. "I've never had a new car before."

"You'll love it."

"I can't believe you." She laughed and shook her head in disbelief. "I feel like I can't accept it or something."

"Too bad."

"This is really too much."

"Tayla, don't argue. It's a necessity as well as a gift. What if something happened here while I was at work? Or what if you were out shopping and I needed to go somewhere? It's practical. We need two cars." Tom smiled as he

"That sounds so domestic."

"It is." Tom shrugged.

"It's kind of-" She paused.

"What?"

"I don't- It's nothing." Tayla shook her head. She wasn't going to let the car mean what her mind assumed it did. It was hard enough for her to decide to move in but if he was going to make it feel like they were an old married couple with the national average two point three children, he had another thing coming. He had a panicky Tayla coming.

"What is it?" Tom asked again as he moved closer. "You don't like it?"

"No, I- I do. I do like it." She forced a smile and turned the car on. "I can't wait to test it out."

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure." She pressed a button to turn the radio on. "Hop in. Let's take it for a spin around the block." Bradyn cheered from the back seat as he fumbled with the restraints in his car seat. Tom helped secure his son in the back, then took his place in the passenger's seat.

"Okay, let's go."

Tayla drove them up and down the street then around the block. She adjusted the seat, set the radio stations and played with the power windows. When they got back to the house Tayla pulled into the driveway and sighed happily. "You like it?" Tom asked, unsure of her true reaction.

Tayla paused then nodded. "I do. I like it a lot. Thank you." She kissed him and smiled, then got out to help Bradyn out. She promised herself she wouldn't read too much into it as they went back into the house and headed for the kitchen. They had a breakfast of chocolate chip pancakes and chocolate milk before all three of them, and Lucy, headed for the back yard to give Bradyn's new Escalade a test drive.

A few hours later, Lucy barked once and tore through the house to the front door even before the bell rang. "They're here." Tom waggled his eyebrow at Tayla as he lifted Bradyn from the electric car and tossed him into the air. "Are you ready for more presents?"

"More? For me?!" Bradyn's eyes lit up as he wiggled to the floor and ran towards the front door only a few steps behind Lucy.

Tayla hesitated for a moment at the back door as she let the morning events settle in. "It's just his family." She whispered to herself. "It's Christmas." She took a deep breath then shut the back door behind her as the family poured in through the front door.

Tayla was expecting Tom's family to arrive but she wasn't expecting a house full. "There are so many." She whispered to Tom when the last finally arrived.

"I told you my family was coming."

"Well, yeah but I was thinking it'd be your mom and dad."

Tom laughed and shook his head. "No. The whole family. Except Bill of course."

"I see that." Tayla bit her lower lip as Bradyn giggled from the family room where the gifts were being placed beneath the tree.

"Are you okay?"

"This is overwhelming."

"They actually won't be here long. I promise."

"Well, I don't want to kick them out or anything."

"No, it's the way we do it. They'll be gone in a few hours." He dropped a kiss on her forehead. "Then we can relax."

She leaned into his chest and sighed. "Thank you." Tom rubbed her back and laughed as the Christmas music was turned up and conversations floated out into the hall. "I'll go make some more coffee. You go be social."

"I want you to meet them all."

"I will. After I make coffee."

"Okay." He kissed her again and squeezed her hand before he headed toward the voices.

Tayla took a deep breath and went through the dining room to the kitchen, sneaking in the back to avoid the sudden room full of people. She took her time making coffee, then helped Tom's mother pass it out to all who wanted it. Once everyone was settled with their drinks, one of Tom's uncles donned the Santa hat and passed out the gifts that everyone brought. Some were small and sentimental while others were large and extravagant.

An hour into the party the phone rang in the kitchen behind them. "I'll get it." Tayla said as she stood up. She quickly ducked into the quiet kitchen and answered the phone on the third ring. "Hello?"

"Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!" Gustav shouted into the phone when Tayla answered.

"Hey, Gustav!" She laughed and leaned against the wall, enjoying her moment away from the crowd.

"Where's Santa Claus?"

"He's in the other room with his family."

"Oh, the family's there? What'd you do to deserve that?" Gustav laughed.

"I moved in." She shrugged and laughed with him.

"No shit? You finally moved in?"

"Yeah. He gave me a key and made it official last night."

"Awesome."

"And he gave me a car for Christmas."

Gustav laughed and shook his head. He saw where this was going. "Oh really? You don't know what you've gotten yourself into."

"Eh, I think I have some idea."

"You still gonna tour with us?"

"Yeah, if you guys ever get back on the road. And if David asks me to come back."

"He will if he knows what's good for him." Gustav shouted something to someone on his end. "Anyway, I was just calling to say Frohe Weihnachten and all that. Are you guys gonna be home tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I don't think we're going anywhere."

"I'll swing by then. I have a car full of gifts for the kid. And some for Bradyn too." He snickered softly.

"He doesn't need any more toys."

"I got him practical stuff. Clothes."

"You did?" Tayla didn't believe him for a second.

"No, not really. I got him lots of toys that make noise."

"Tom is going to hate you."

"I can live with that."

"Do you want me to go get him?" Tayla reluctantly walked toward the family room.

"Sure."

"Okay, hang on." She stepped over an uncle with the phone in her hand and tapped Tom's shoulder. "It's Gustav."

"Thanks." He kissed her quickly then took the phone. "Hey, I didn't know Santa's elves made personal phone calls." Tom laughed.

"Ha ha. Very funny motherfucker." Gustav smiled. "I was calling to say Frohe Weihnachten and get all mushy with you but forget it now."

"You wouldn't know what to do if the conversation turned mushy."

"I can be all kinds of sentimental. Just not when I'm insulted."

"Whatever." Tom laughed and took another cookie. "So are you in town?"

"Yeah, I did the family thing this morning so I'm recovering, kind of." Gustav yawned. "I'm gonna stop by tomorrow and give you guys your stuff."

"I don't know what we're doing tomorrow."

"Tayla said you'd be around."

"Oh she did, huh?" Tom licked crumbs from his lips. "Well, then I guess we'll be around."

"Cool, then I'll come see you. Did you talk to the other guys?"

"Yeah. We saw Nadiehn and Bill last night. I figured we'd all hook up eventually."

"New Years!"

"We'll have to see about that." Tom felt tired just looking at the mess in the room.

"We'll have to see about what? You say that like you might consider not partying."

"I have a kid now."

"You've had a kid all year."

"And how much partying have I done?" Tom asked as he cradled the phone between his ear and shoulder and passed a gift to his mother. "I think Tayla and I will probably just hang out here."

"Pussy."

"Whatever. Listen, I have to go. Come over this weekend or whatever and we'll talk about it."

"And Georg?"

"I have to go, Gustav."

"Georg has to be there if we're planning a party."

"Frohe Weihnachten. I'll talk to you later." Tom ignored Gustav and, before he could start another argument for a party, Tom hung up and passed the phone back to Tayla. "Thanks."

"Any time." Tayla smiled and took the phone back to the kitchen to hang up, giving her another minute or two of solitude.

When the last present was opened and the family was gone, Bradyn collapsed in the corner of the recliner and took a much needed nap. "I think he has the right idea." Tom laughed as he wadded up a handful of wrapping paper and put it into the trash bag in his hand.

"I think so too." Tayla yawned and helped him pick up the scraps of discarded paper and boxes. "We're almost done."

"Yeah." Tom dropped the trash bag and grabbed Tayla around the waist. "Let's be done now." He nibbled her neck and laughed into the area below her ear.

"The room isn't going to clean-" Tayla stopped arguing as he kissed her. "Tom-"
She said a moment later.

"The mess will be there after a nap. Come on. I promise." He tugged as the waist of her pants and pulled her down onto the couch beside him.

----------------

Not one to make empty promises, the mess was right where they left it when they woke up an hour later. Reluctantly, they finished cleaning with Bradyn's help then filled up on cookies and other goodies before Tom grabbed the phone and sat down to call everyone he knew to wish them a Merry Christmas.

He talked to almost everyone on their crew as well as the Bill and Georg, promising to see them within the next few days. Tayla took a few minutes to call her family and Kaelah before they dragged themselves to bed, silently thrilled that the holiday was over.

----------------

As unlikely as it seemed to Tayla, the next few days were unbelievably calm. She and Tom got to absorb the fact that she was actually living there while they all got back into the groove of being around each other. Bradyn kept himself occupied with his toys while the adults relaxed in the unrushed stupor following the chaotic holiday. "I could get used to this." Tayla drawled softly as she stretched out on the couch.

Tom laughed and shook his head. "Don't. We've got a birthday to plan, then it's back to work for me."

"So soon?"

"We've been off for forever it seems. We have a lot of work to do."

"And a tour to plan?" Tayla closed her eyes and wiggled her toes on Tom's lap.

He nodded without a word then yawned. "Yeah. Probably."

"Cool."

"Something like that."

"Daddy, I have a car and a tools?" Bradyn held a plastic hammer in one hand and his play keys in the other.

"Yeah. You sure do, buddy."

"I can ride my car now?"

"Not right now, Bradyn. Why don't we wait until tonight. We'll bring it into the garage and you can drive it in there?"

"Ina minit?"

"Later." Tom covered his mouth and yawned again. There was something about not doing anything that was exhausting.

Unfazed, Bradyn walked to the far end of the couch and tapped Tayla's shoulder with the hammer. "Tayla? I can ride my car?"

"Oh!" Tom laughed. "Okay, he's already learning how to play one against the other. If Dad says no, go ask-" He paused and bit his lip. "That's the oldest trick in the book."

"It works though." Tayla opened her eyes and smiled. "Come on, sweetie, show me how you can drive on the grass." She let the little boy pull her up and to the back door.

"You are such a pushover." Tom called after her.

"I'm a sucker for a guy with an adorable pout." She winked as Tom gave her a lager, more adult version of the same pout Bradyn had won her over with. "You take your nap and I'll go play in the yard." Tayla laughed again before she shut the door behind her.

Tom reclined back on the couch and closed his eyes, though any chance of a nap eluded him as he heard his two favorite people playing in the back yard. He was just about ready to go join them when the doorbell rang throughout the house.

Georg had talked about dropping by but Tom wasn't expecting him to do so unannounced. As always, Tom smiled when he saw Georg bouncing with unbridled energy. "Hey!" Tom pulled Georg in for a hug and welcomed him into the house. "What are you doing here?"

"I came by to see Bradyn, actually." Georg slapped Tom's back and grinned. "Where is he?"

"He's outside with Tayla."

"Yeah, I heard she moved in. Way to go."

"Good news travels fast, huh?" Tom smiled as his heart skipped a beat.

"It's about time."

"What does that mean?"

Georg gave him a look. "It means it's about time." He shook his head and walked through to the living room. He paused at the window to watch Bradyn and Tayla chasing the dog in Bradyn's new little car before he sat on the couch. "I mean, you guys have been together forever. It's about time she moved in."

Tom laughed out loud and shook his head. "Georg, Tayla and I haven't been together that long. Less than a year. A lot less than a year."

"It's been longer than that." Georg looked at Tom like he was a crazy freak that couldn't tell time.

"We started dating after Bradyn showed up. Like, months after Bradyn showed up."

"Right."

"Well, I haven't even had Bradyn for a year. Ten months, give or take."

"Seriously?" Georg looked legitimately surprised. "Well, shit, it feels like more."

"Yeah, I know."

"So bring the kid out to my truck. I have a present for him out there."

"Bring it in." Tom nodded to the door as he stood to go to the back door.

"No, he'll need to come out. It's kind of big."

"Georg-" Tom sighed and tried not to roll his eyes. "What did you get?"

"You'll have to wait and see. It's a Christmas present and a surprise."

"Georg."

"Oh, come on. The box is just big and you're going to have to put it together in the garage anyway. What's the big deal?"

"Put it together?" Tom looked anxious.

"You're a Dad. Putting shit together comes with the territory. You'd better get used to it."

"You suck."

"Eh." Georg shrugged and jumped up to open the back door. He called to Tayla and Bradyn to have them follow him to the garage where Tom opened the big door. "Sweet. Who got the new car?"

"Tayla." Tom smiled.

"I did." Tayla beamed and bounced up on her toes unconsciously.

Georg raised his eyebrow but didn't say anything.

Tom scooped Bradyn up and they walked to the back of Georg's truck. "Georg got you something big for Christmas, buddy."

"What is it?"

"I don't know. Let's go have a look." He put Bradyn in the back of the truck with the large wrapped box. "Shit, Georg."

"Oh, stop it." Georg cast a scalding look at Tom then laughed. "Come on, buddy. Open it up so your Dad can put it together."

Bradyn pulled at the corner of the wrapping paper and peeled it away to show the picture of the bright blue and red tricycle on the cover of the box. "Whoa!" Bradyn tried to climb on top of the box.

"Whoa!" Tom grinned and turned the box around to see for himself. "A Superman bike."

"I saw it and thought how could I not get it? And Bradyn's the only little kid I know."

"You have nephews and a brother that's all about putting stuff together."

"They're too old for a trike." Georg shook his head. "So do you like it?"

"Yeah!"

Tayla leaned her elbows on the side of the truck and shook her head. "He's going to be one mobile little kid."

"So I'm thinking he can bring this on tour to terrorize the backstage area." He waggled his eyebrows and laughed as he pulled the box toward the back of the car with Bradyn pushing as hard as he could.

"What do you say, Bradyn?" Tom prompted.

"Danke, Gay-og! Fo-lish-uh vy-nockin!" Bradyn mumbled the single phrase he'd repeated time and time again over the past week.

"Fröhliche Weihnachten! C'mon, let's let your Dad put this together. Hop on." Georg turned around and Bradyn clung to his back. "See you inside. Don't take too long." Georg trotted back into the house leaving Tom in the driveway to put the tricycle together on his own.

Tayla and Tom watched them go back into the house with looks of disbelief. "He did not just leave me out here to put his gift together by myself." Tom shook his head.

"Well, I'm here."

"Yeah." Tom put his hands on his hips and contemplated the tricycle. There couldn't be that many parts.

"So let's do it."

"But-" Tom's eyes wandered back to the garage door.

"They'll be fine." Tayla laughed and hauled herself into the back of the truck to help get the box out. "It's not really heavy. Come on."

Together they got the box into the half empty garage and popped it open. Tom groaned as he looked at the collection of little bags with little parts. "Figures." He sighed and shook his head.

"Hmm." Tayla pursed her lips and frowned. "So, yeah, have fun."

"What? Where are you going?"

Tayla pointed toward the house. "I'm feeling kind of grubby right now. I think I'm gonna go take a shower. Or something."

"Tayla! Come on."

"Sorry." She shrugged and laughed.

"You suck." Tom shook his head at the pile of parts. "I'm going to remember this." As the garage door swung shut, Tom ran his hand over his head and went to work organizing the pieces of the tricycle on the floor in front of him. Luckily, the directions were in German. That would make the actual assembly time a little bit faster.

----------------

"So you're having a jungle birthday party?" Georg asked as Bradyn bounced around by his feet.

"Yeah."

"That's awesome. Can I dress up like a lion?"

"No!"

"No? What about a giraffe? Can I dress up like a giraffe?" Georg stretched his neck out as far as it would go.

"No! You a Gay-og!" Bradyn jumped onto Georg's lap, narrowly missing Georg's crotch.

"Whoa! Watch the jewels." His hands went protectively to the front of his pants as he winced inwardly. "Who's coming to your party? Are you having friends from school?"

"Um. Yeah." Bradyn answered, though he didn't know who was going to be there.

"Am I invited?"

"Yeah an Goose-gog an Nay-dee."

"Nay-dee, huh? Nadiehn?

"Yeah. Nay-dee."

Georg gave him a sideways look and shrugged. "Okay." He sighed and put his hands behind his head. "So what about Bill?"

"Um." Bradyn thought for a minute, then jumped off the couch and ran to the garage where Tom was putting the final touches on the Superman tricycle.. "Daddy, can Pie appo come to a party?"

"Bill? Yeah, he's coming to your party." Tom looked up from the sheet of stickers. "Why?"

"Cuz." Bradyn ran back up the hall. "Yeah, Pie appo. He come."

"Cool. So it'll be you and me and your Daddy and Bill and Gustav and Nadiehn?"

"Yeah, an Lucy."

"Oh, of course, and Lucy. It wouldn't be a party without Lucy."

"And my Mommy?" Bradyn cocked his head to the side. "She can come to a party?"

"Oh, buddy, I don't know."

"I ask Daddy."

"No." Georg grabbed Bradyn's arm and pulled him onto his lap to blow a raspberry on Bradyn's tummy. "No, you don't need to ask your Daddy. We'll have a fun party no matter what!"

"Yeah, the party will be fun." Tom said as he walked into the room. "Hey, next time you buy anything that requires assembly, you'd better bring a screwdriver."

"Daddy? My Tayla can come to a party?" Bradyn asked, craning his neck to look up at Tom.

"Yeah, of course Tayla will be there."

Bradyn looked up at Georg. "My Tayla Mommy, she come to a party."

"Your-" Georg looked confused as Tom blushed.

"He calls her his Tayla."

"Mommy?" Georg asked softly.

"Yeah. My Tayla like a Mommy. She my Tayla Mommy." Bradyn explained with a shrug to the dumbfounded grown men.

"Oh." Georg nodded. "Well, that makes sense."

"I- Yeah." Tom nodded and collected himself quickly. "Speaking of which, where is she?"

"She, uh- She went upstairs." Georg still fumbled over his words. "Shower."

Tom looked toward the ceiling as he listened for the shower. The water shut off just then and he heard her thumping around overhead. "Well, Bradyn, come on out to the garage and check out your new trike. It's cool."

"Isa supaman bike." Bradyn giggled as Georg picked him up and threw him over his shoulder.

"Yeah, it is. You wanna know why?"

"Why?" Bradyn shrieked into Georg's back.

"Because Superman is the best super hero ever. That's why."

"Yeah! An Boo?"

"Boo?"

"He means Blue from Blue's Clues." Tom smiled.

Georg made a face and swung Bradyn around to hold him right. "Blue isn't a super hero. I'm telling you, Superman is the best."

"Better'n Boo?"

"He's way better than Blue." Georg sighed and set Bradyn on the floor in the garage. "There you go. Give it a go."

"Wow!" Bradyn hopped on and hit the siren in the front sending the loud swooshing sound of Superman soaring through the air.

"Hey, it makes noise." Georg looked surprised.

"Yeah. Thanks." Tom kicked at Georg's shins. "One day I'll get you back."

"Yeah, whatever." Georg rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. They watched Bradyn run the bike around for a while before Tayla came down in a warm gray sweatsuit.

"Oh, there you are." Tom put her arm around her waist. "Did you have a nice shower?" He asked sarcastically.

"Yes, I did." She laughed and jumped as Bradyn came close to running over her toes.

"Watch where you're going, buddy." Tom scolded Bradyn softly.

"I watchin." Bradyn smirked over his shoulder then ran into a storage box. "Uh oh."

"Yeah, see? You're not watching." Tom walked over and picked him up off of his bike. "Let's go inside and see about getting something to eat. Are you hungry?"

"Yeah." Bradyn wiggled out of his father's arms and ran inside.

"That kid is like the Energizer Bunny." Georg laughed and shook his head as he watched the heels of Bradyn's feet. The adults followed Bradyn into the house and stood around the kitchen snacking on whatever they could find.

They made a dinner out of leftovers and a box of crackers before they walked Georg out to his car.

"So, for real. Are you seriously hanging out at home for New Years? I mean, I'm sure you could find a sitter or something." Georg stood by his truck with his keys in his hand.

"No, were just staying in." Tom dropped his arm around Tayla's waist. "You're more than welcome to come over though. If you want."

"I'll pass. I'm going to go party out the end of the year. I figure we'll spend the better portion of next year running ragged so I'm gonna party while I can."

"And I'm going to relax while I can." Tom laughed.

Georg shrugged and laughed. "Whatever floats your boat."

"Have a good night, Georg." Tayla waved as Georg opened the car door.

"Thanks, you too."

"And thanks for the trike for Bradyn. He loves it."

"Anytime." Georg raised his hand in a farewell wave as he climbed into the driver's seat. With a single tap on the horn he was gone and Tom and Tayla walked back into the house.

"Do you mind staying home tomorrow night?" Tom asked as he shut and locked the front door.

"No. Not at all."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." Tayla nodded with a small smile. "I'm not exactly a party animal."

"Hmm." Tom stole a small kiss. "Honestly though, this year is going to be crazy so I'll take whatever down time I can get."

"You don't have to convince me."

"Good." He laughed with her and headed or the living room. With Bradyn asleep, they decided to spend some time watching movies that didn't feature cartoon characters.

----------------

For New Years Eve, Tayla, Tom and Bradyn got snacks and sparkling cider out before they cuddled up on the couch to watch the festivities from around the world. Bradyn was asleep before ten but he wasn't sure what all the excitement was about anyway. Tayla carried him upstairs and tucked him into his bed before he went back to the warm spot she left in Tom's arms.

"Turn it to MTV." She said softly as she pulled the thin blanket from the back of the couch.

"MTV?" Tom gave her a look and turned the volume down on the movie they'd been watching.

"Yes. It's a tradition." She took the remote from him and turned it to the right station.

"Fine." He sighed and pulled her back against his chest.

"You're such a pushover." Tayla laughed and snuggled close to him, smelling familiar scent of his soap and deodorant that mixed into a distinct Tom smell.

"Yeah." Tom's lips pressed the top of Tayla's head and his breath warmed her hair. "But only because I like you a lot."

"I like you a lot too." Tayla squeezed his knee and fought back a yawn.

They watched the Dick Clark special while commenting on the guests and talking a little bit about their plans for the New Year. One thing was for certain, they were in for a lot of new experiences living together.

"This is the best New Years." Tom sighed in content.

"It has been nice, hasn't it? All things considered, I mean."

"You mean Astrid?" Tom's smile fell just the slightest.

"And everything." Tayla nodded and dropped her glance to the floor.

"It's been a crazy year." He nodded and then kissed her again. "But I wouldn't change any of it for anything." With a deep breath, he paused and considered the past twelve months. "Everything that has happened has changed me for the better, I think. Getting Bradyn, watching him on the road, losing him that one time, taking him to the hospital, the time we had alone when we came home and just every second. Even the bad times, I wouldn't trade them in for anything."

"Really?"

Tom nodded and gave her a small smile. "Not a single one because look at how this year is ending. I have Bradyn in my life forever, I have you, I have the guys and a busy year ahead of me. Life is good." He hugged her from behind and rested his chin on her shoulder. "All of the low points this year have made me really appreciate the high points."

"I'm glad to hear you say that. Some of these recent lows had me worried about you."

Tom shrugged and frowned though she couldn't see his face. "Me too." He said softly. "Thank you, Tayla. For being there for me and Bradyn."

"You're welcome."

"I love you."

"I love you too." Tayla smiled and laced her fingers through his over her stomach. Fireworks exploded in the sky miles away making the backyard glow in a silent blue and red display. Tom tilted his wrist for Tayla to read the time. "Happy New Year." She said, turning her head to face Tom.

"Happy New Year." Tom kissed her deeply welcomed the New Year, hoping that this was a hint of what the coming year held for him.

----------------

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Bradyn! Happy birthday to you!" The group of people around the small table in Tom's backyard sang loudly and mostly off key, intentionally. Bradyn's eyes widened as the alligator cake with three lit candles was set in front of him.

"Whoa!" Bradyn laughed and stood on the chair. "My cake a agator?" His questioning look went from Tayla to Tom.

"Yeah, it's just what you ordered. Blow the candles out. Ready? One, two, three." Tom put his hands under Bradyn's arms to hold him steady as the little boy bent over to blow them out. With three quick breaths, all of the candles were extinguished and everyone clapped.

"Yay! You did it!" Tayla laughed and reached over Bradyn's shoulder to pull the candles out before the wax melted all over the icing.

"Tayla, I can have a cake?" Bradyn clapped and jumped up and down on the chair. The excitement of the day was almost visible in the air as everyone around cheered again.

"Yeah, I'm just going to go cut it up so everyone can have some." Tayla laughed and lifted the cake from the table. "Can you give me a hand?" She asked Nadiehn as she passed her on the way to the kitchen.

"Absolutely." Nadiehn smiled and followed her in, leaving the pack of boys alone on the patio. "That's a great cake."

"Thanks. Tom has this bakery he goes to a lot, I guess, and they make special cakes."

"That's cool. Green icing though." Nadiehn made a face as Tayla sat the cake on the counter. "Oh well, I guess you're only three once, right?"

"Right." Tayla laughed and got the cake out, cutting small even pieces and putting them on the jungle plates they'd picked out a few days before.

Together, they passed out the cake to all of the birthday guests and watched as Bradyn dove into his pile of presents, as if there were anything else he could possibly want or need. He had a wardrobe suited for a king and more toys than FAO Schwartz, according to Tom who sat back and wondered where they would put it all.

When everyone had their fill of cake and the presents were opened, people began to head out, shouting birthday wishes to Bradyn as he played on the play set with Gustav and Georg. Tom busied himself taking out huge bags of birthday wrapping paper and discarded boxes while Tayla sat back in the padded patio chair next to Bill and Nadiehn. She took a deep breath and relaxed a bit. In a few hours, the whole thing would be over and they could all really settle back into real life. At least until it was time for Tom to go back into the studio.

Tayla watched as Bradyn climbed halfway up the slide. He knew he wasn't supposed to go that way but Gustav and Georg were bad influences and he only wanted to be like the big kids. His right foot began to slip out from under him and, as much as he tried to correct himself, he ended up falling over the side onto the grass. Everything happened in slow motion as Tayla put her plate down and ran across the yard.

She was at his side before he was able to take a breath in to start crying. "Gustav!" Tom yelled as he ran over. "You were supposed to watch him." Tom reprimanded his older friend.

"I was watching him."

"Yeah, you watched him fall right off the slide." Georg slapped Gustav's head.

"Shut up! You were standing right there." Gustav shot back as Bradyn let loose the cry that had been building up.

"Moooommmmmyy! Daaaaaaaaddy!"

"You're okay, sweetie." Tayla sat in the dirt and cradled Bradyn in her lap. "Did you land on your bottom?"

"Uh huh." Bradyn continued to cry as he wrapped his arms around Tayla's neck.

"Is he hurt? Let me see him." Tom leaned over Tayla's shoulder.

"He's fine. He just scared himself." Tayla shook her head.

"He scared me."

"He's okay?" Gustav asked as a small crowd grew around the birthday boy.

"Yeah. He's okay. He's fine." Tayla smiled up at the spectators. "He's okay. He just scared himself." She turned her attention back to Bradyn as he noticeably calmed down in her arms. "There you go. You're okay, right?"

"Yeah." Bradyn hiccuped but he didn't let her go.

"See, that's why you need to only slide down the slide. If you want to go up, you need to use the steps." Tayla smiled and kissed the top of his head as the party returned to normal.

"You okay, buddy?" Tom asked as he squatted beside Tayla. Bradyn nodded and wiped his eyes on Tayla's sleeve. "Here." He slid his hands under Bradyn's arms and lifted him from Tayla's lap. "You hit your bottom, huh? You don't have a lot of padding there any more."

"Yeah an I falled all da way."

"I know you fell all the way down." Tom nodded and brushed the dirt and grass off of Bradyn's pants. "That's why you're not supposed to go up the slide. You'll fall and hurt yourself."

"Yeah." Bradyn sniffed and took a deep breath. "Daddy, I can have a cake?"

Tom laughed and reached a hand down to help Tayla up. "You want another piece of cake? I think there might be some left over. Let's go see."

"Kay." Bradyn rested his head on Tom's shoulder. It had been a busy day and it was well past his nap time.

"Thanks." Tom said as he met Tayla's eye over Bradyn's head. They stepped back into the house and headed toward the kitchen.

"No problem."

"I'm glad you were keeping an eye on him."

"A lot of people had their eye on him." Tayla laughed softly.

"But you got there first." Tom raised an eyebrow at her.

"Instinct." Tayla shrugged and tried to hide her unexplainable blush as she looked away.

"You're lucky we have Tayla here, Bray." Tom tousled Bradyn's hair and set him on the counter so he'd have both hands free to cut another piece of cake.

"Yeah. My Tayla Mommy is my Tayla."

Tayla stood frozen in her tracks as she looked from Bradyn to Tom, who simply smiled in response. "Yeah. She's like your mommy."

"Kind of." Tayla added.

"Yeah." Bradyn stuck his finger into the icing of the cake that Tom set in front of him. "I big, Daddy."

"Yeah." Tom nodded then smiled at Tayla quickly. "You're a big boy now. You're three!"

----------------

The party ended shortly after the slide incident and everyone headed home. Bradyn said good-bye to everyone with his head resting on Tom's shoulder and droopy eyelids making it hard for him to smile. Gustav was the last to leave and as he waved from the door, Bradyn began to snore.

"He's wasted." Gustav said softly.

"It's been a long day." Tom smiled.

"Yeah, I guess it has." Gustav nodded. "Well, I'll see you in the studio in a few days."

"Yeah."

"Have fun with your last few days of vacation. Tayla? I'll see you later."

"Okay, Gustav. Thanks for coming today."

"Like I'd miss it." Gustav took a few steps back into the house to carefully place his hand on Bradyn's head. "He's such a good kid. Seriously. You're lucky."

"I know." Tom smiled proudly and patted Bradyn's back.

"Hell, you all are." Gustav laughed softly then stepped away. He sighed and shook a thought from his head. "Okay. I'll see you later."

"Bye." Tayla and Tom stood at the door and watched Gustav go before walking upstairs together to put Bradyn to bed in his own bed.

Tom stretched his arms over his head as Tayla pulled Bradyn's door shut. "I'll almost be glad to go back to work."

"You'll get to rest." Tayla laughed.

"Yeah." He yawned.

"Well, before you start thinking about rest, we have some birthday dishes to do." Tayla raised an eyebrow at him.

"I know." He tried not to whine but it came out anyway.

"Come on." She took his hand and led him back to the kitchen. Wordlessly, they filled the sink and started washing them by hand since there were only glasses to wash. Tom began to hum softly as he dried the glasses. He paused and smiled as he held the bright green Hulk fist shaped plastic cup. "You know-" Tom stopped and bit his lip. What he was thinking sounded too silly even for him.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"What?" She bumped his shoulder with hers.

"I was just gonna say that sometimes I can't believe I have a kid but that just sounds so silly, you know? Since I've been around Bradyn almost 24 hours a day for the past year. But still-" He sighed. "I sometimes see something like this and I stop and think, Hey! I have a kid!" Tom rolled the cup between his hands.

"That's cool though. It's still exciting to you."

He paused and shook his head slowly. "I can't imagine it never being exciting."

Tayla smiled as her answer. No words were needed.

They washed in silence for a minute before Tom put the towel down and leaned against the counter. "So are you settling in okay? I mean, did you need to go to your old place and get stuff?"

"Yeah, I'll need to go back for a little bit. I have to let Kaelah know and get things settled there. I mean, the furniture I have I'll probably leave there."

"Yeah?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, I have a futon and my bed and stuff but-" She looked around. "There's not really anywhere to put it here."

"We can make room." Tom followed her gaze.

Tayla laughed shortly. "Yeah, right."

"We could put it in the office."

"Tom, it's okay. Kaelah can keep the futon."

"I know, I'm just saying that if you wanted to we could-"

"I know." Tayla interrupted him with a hand on his shoulder. "But it'll be easier to leave the big stuff there."

"Okay but I want you to feel like this is your home too. You live here now."

Tayla laughed. "I know I do." Her heart skipped a beat like it always did when she thought about what a huge step they'd taken.

"So do what you want. Bring your furniture, pictures, whatever. Make this your house too."

"Okay."

"Just don't-"

"Don't what?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Just don't do anything to my bathroom upstairs. I love it. I mean, it's finally the way I really want it."

She laughed again at his silliness and shook her head. "I won't touch a thing."

"Good." Tom kissed her quickly. "I finally got your toothbrush and soggy towels in there. I don't want to change a thing."

"You're crazy."

"Yeah, well." He shrugged.

"There's only one thing I'd want to change."

"Name it."

"The living room."

"What's wrong with it?"

"It needs some warmth. It looks very bachelor."

"Well, you know."

"I know." She flicked water from her fingers at him. "It could use some pillows or candles or something."

"Girly stuff."

"Yes. Girly stuff." She nodded.

"Okay. Tomorrow morning, first thing, we'll hit a candle store or whatever and get you stuff to girly this place up a bit. But just a little bit."

"Yay." She said before she kissed him again. "I love you."

"Because I let you do girly stuff to the house?"

Tayla shook her head. "No. Because you're the most perfect boyfriend ever with just the right amount of flaws."

"I have flaws?"

She laughed and nodded. "And that makes you perfect."

Tom shook his head and smiled. She was perfect too.

They finished rinsing the dishes and stacked them in the washer before retreating to their bedroom that Tayla admitted to loving without needing to change anything.

----------------

The next morning, as promised, Tom loaded Bradyn and his stroller into his car. They all headed to the store. Tayla sat back in the car and mentally added her own touches to several of the rooms. "I can do anything I want?" She asked cautiously.

Tom looked sideways at her and crinkled his brow. "Almost anything, sure." There was silence as Tayla thought about that. "What did you have in mind?"

"Nothing." She blushed and shook her head.

"I'm not big on flowers."

"I'm not thinking about going floral, don't worry."

"What then?"

"Tom, it's not like you're not going to have a say. I just want to pick up some little things that I think we need. That I need."

"Okay."

"Relax."

"I'm relaxed." Tom rolled his shoulders and smiled. "See?"

"You're strange."

"I know." He leaned over and kissed her cheek quickly. "Are you ready to shop?" Tom pulled the car into the enormous home furnishing parking lot.

"Always."

"I'm scared." Tom mumbled under his breath.

They parked near the front and got Bradyn situated in his stroller before heading in to make Tom's house their home. Bradyn sat back in his stroller, reclining like a man in front of the television on Super Bowl Sunday. He swung his feet and tapped them on the footrest as Tom maneuvered the stroller up the curb and out of the way of exiting customers. "Go fast!" Bradyn giggled from below.

"We're going as fast as we can." Tom laughed as Tayla stepped in front of them and opened the heavy glass door.

"There you go."

"Thanks." Tom pushed the stroller through the doors and waited as Tayla held the door for a couple leaving the store.

"What a handsome young man you have there." The older woman smiled as she passed Bradyn in his seat.

"Thank you." Tom smiled proudly then bit his lip as Bradyn stuck his finger in his nose. It was a new habit Tom wasn't very fond of.

The woman looked from Tom and Bradyn to Tayla and her smile grew. "Lovely family."

"Thank you." Tayla blushed quickly as the woman and her husband stepped out into the cool winter air. She stepped into the store behind Tom and smiled.

Tom slid his arm around her waist and pushed Bradyn's stroller with one hand. "Lovely family." He whispered into her hair. "I like the way that sounds."

"Me too." She turned to kiss him softly.

"I love you."

"I love you too." Tayla rested her head on his shoulder as they walked toward the elevators.

"Love too." Bradyn sighed and tapped his feet again.

Tom laughed lightly as his heart skipped a beat. Without any kind of planning or control on his part, he'd managed to find himself with a patchwork family that was all his own. His eyes moved slowly from Tayla's profile to the top of Bradyn's head. They were indeed his family and a lovely family at that. A feeling of home washed over Tom as his smile grew and his hand reached to tousle Bradyn's hair. The simple contact proved that he was there and that it was all real. It was all he could have ever wished for.

----------------

My heart simply soars to know that you guys have followed this story through to the very end. I screwed up a few parts along the way but you guys were nice enough to overlook that and loved every bit anyway! I couldn't leave you hanging on a few aspects so I decided to include a brief explanation as to what happened to the family after the story left off.

Epilogue

- The guys of Tokio Hotel jumped back into work, writing and mixing sounds, and were finally able to release a new album. While it still played slightly on the futuristic sound, it more so went back to their roots and was more punk than anything else.

- Before the tour for the new album began, Bill and Nadiehn were married in a beautiful ceremony. Tom was the best man and Tayla was the maid of honor. Bradyn acted as the ring bearer and actually lost their rings mid-way through the ceremony, nearly giving Bill and Tom matching heart attacks. Luckily, they were just in Bradyn's back pocket.

- As best man, Tom had to give a toast. He stood and spent a few moments embarrassing his twin about "true love" before finally letting Bill and Nadiehn know how thankful he was to have them in his life. He made sure to let them know they were loved by everyone in the room.

- Before the speech was completely over, Bill gave Tom a nod and Tom called for Tayla and Bradyn to join him in the middle of the dance floor. Bradyn handed Tayla a box and said, "You make a happy Daddy an we hava wedding too!" Tayla opened the box to reveal a modest yet gorgeous engagement ring. Tom got down on one knee (with Bradyn sitting on the other) and confessed his undying love for her, then asked her to marry him. She said yes with no hesitation.

- Bradyn seemed to instinctively know that Astrid wasn't coming back. He began to call Tayla "Mommy" all the time. Tayla couldn't have been more thrilled.

- Tom and Tayla waited until after the tour to get married. They flew all their guests to Hawaii for the special ceremony and were married on the beach. Bradyn was the best man. They spent their honeymoon in Hawaii with all their friends and family.

- After they returned home to Germany, Tayla asked Tom if it would be possible for her to adopt Bradyn. It had never occurred to Tom that it was even possible and he was ecstatic about it! They had the papers drawn up immediately and Tayla officially became Bradyn's mother.

- A year later, Tokio Hotel was working on another album when Tayla announced she was pregnant. They were blessed with identical twin boys. The boys were named William Skye (called Skye) and Ryder Thomas (called Ry).

- Tom waited until Bradyn was in his teens and better able to understand the situation before giving him Astrid's letter. Bradyn read it privately but didn't wish to reveal its contents. Tom and Tayla respected his wishes. Astrid had included a sand dollar from the beach with her letter. Bradyn kept it on the desk in his room.

- And they indeed lived happily ever after.