I love my human
Thus I perfume myself with
This long dead squirrel
Today I sniffed
Many butts- I celebrate
By kissing your face
I refuse to perform
Your stupid pet tricks
In front of company
I lie belly up
In the sunshine, happier than
You will ever be
I sound the alarm!
Mailman! Fiend! Come to kill us all!
Bark, bark! Bark! Bark!
I sound the alarm!
Neighbor's cat! Come to kill us all!
Bark, bark! Bark! Bark!
I lift my leg and
Whiz on each bush. Hello spot
Sniff this and weep!
My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle.
Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot-no greater bliss, well
Maybe chasing cats
I sound the alarm!
Dinner guests, come to kill us all!
Bark, bark! Bark! Bark!
The cat is not all bad
She fills the litter box
With tootsie rolls
Look into my eyes and
Deny it, no human
Could love you as much as I do
Dig under the fence, why?
Because it is there, because
It is there, because it is there
You are hopelessly lost
Without me, I am
The leader on our walks
I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating
My owners' mood is romantic
I lie at their feet
I fart a big one
I cannot possibly get into
Your small car alone
You must lift me
Going to the vets?
Have you ever
Had your temperature taken?
One day you shall thank me,
I have saved you from
The evil feline
I hate my choke chain
Look world! They strangle me!
Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!