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Thy Will Be Done
Saturday, 1 May 2004
Suffering unites us to Christ
Hi, how are you? This is gaby. its been awhile since the last time we actually read, or wrote. Almost 2 months, if I would have waited another 10 days'. Happy Birthday Alice.
I've been going through emotional stages in my life, and that has led me to where i am today! suffering. I've been seeing a pyschologist for the past month and a half, and today or should i say yesterday, like many days', i didn't want to be there. i am feeling really down, confused, and feeling lonely, like no one cares, no ones give a flying kite about me@! That might not be the case, and i don't see it, cause i'm suffering. I've been through roads of hell all of my life, starting with myself, and then having to deal with others'. People say to get to heaven, you need to go through hell. I've been going through hell all my life, and i haven't seen the surrender of God's glory yet. i'm fustrated, angry at myself and the world. Way back when i used to say, i'd want to die, now, i'm so numb, i'm not what to do.I'm tired of everything. Why can't this world just be a better place to live in?? God i'll never understand until the day i'll have to face judgement and questioning infront of you. Until then, show me the meaning of my life, and what the world you want me to do?? IF I'm meant to suffer much longer, then tell me, and i'll try to live my life accordingly, if not then, i don't know. Your daughter, Gaby x
P.S. I'm missing Corey.
P.S.S. i learned 2 days' ago, i have high cholesteral, at the age of 27. Any suggestions'?? Feel free.

Posted by cantina/religious at 12:31 AM EDT
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Wednesday, 10 March 2004
am i a bother or what!!
Boy, i never thought that i would be that much of a bother.
I'm afraid i am feeling the way i did, along time ago. Actually you know what?? i am feeling numb. No emotions are coming through me. Instead of yelling, i'm keeping it in. Steaming is maybe the right word. Thats it for now guys and girls. Bye.

Posted by cantina/religious at 8:17 PM EST
Updated: Wednesday, 10 March 2004 8:50 PM EST
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Thursday, 4 March 2004
its been awhile, that's for sure.
Hi everyone, its been awhile since the last time i wrote in my blog. None the less, I've been thinking what the heck to write. Things are going good, for now, as I can see. The ultreya "Grand Ultreya" went extremely well. Tomorrow I have an appointment, at the hour of mercy! I'm nervous about it, seeing I'll be there before i know it. Knowing myself, its really unlikely that I will sleep well tonight. But I am not going to listen to the enemy, but only listen to God, because I need to get healed, scarey as it might sound, but yes, i do need to get healed. Have a good night,everyone, and speak to you soon. Love, Gabinator x

Posted by cantina/religious at 9:37 PM EST
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Sunday, 29 February 2004
it was a good ultreya
hi,as promised it ended up being a good ultreya. its sunday at 12:04 and i'm in front of the computer sending a blog. I want to move out of the house. Everytime i'm here, i live in fear. As most of you know, i don't get along with my mom's husband. My parents are always arguing, and that scares me. Especially when he treatens her, like i'm going to take this plate of hot food and throw it allover you. At that point, I start to shake, and can't even stand being at the same table that he is at. He scares me, and that bothers' me.
Before i move out, i have to finish paying my debts and then look into renting a place with a friend or two.
Hope you are doing well, whoever it is that may be reading this blog. Hugs, gaby x

Posted by cantina/religious at 12:11 PM EST
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Sunday, 22 February 2004
what a great weeknd
Hi, this is Gaby. What a great weeknd I had. Its sunday evening, at about 10:40p.m. and I am at home, going to be going to bed soon, I think. I'm not tired though, so I'll stay up for quite some time.

Elia and I got together this afternoon after our 4:00 meeting at church, and went to Picasso's. We stayed there for 3hrs and 15 mins, to finalize the evening for this Friday's ultreya! We sure have been planting the seed for this special event for the past month or so, and we hope and pray that God will florish all its fruits and make the evening a great success.

We must have faith in him, and we do!! It came to my intention that tomorrow night, I will be at the office again, for there is going to be a meeting.My boss and his wife are coming to montreal tomorrow afternoon, and maybe leaving on tuesday morning. There is not much to say, except that I am really looking forward to this friday. Thursday, we have a meeting at one of our friends house, for the Lenten Mission Challenge is doing for St.Thomas Abecket.

Have a great week, and I'll keep you blogged on how the evening is and was..God Bless. Gaby xxx

Posted by cantina/religious at 10:53 PM EST
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Saturday, 21 February 2004
BOY ATIVAN'S DO WORK
Hi, this is the blogger. Long time no write. Boy do Ativan's do there job right. I went to ultreya, where Mike and Aaron hosted the evening, and it was fun. We then all went to Tim Hortan's, where I started getting a panic attack. I was afraid not to have the medication on me, but I did, and took one. As we were talking, to one another, I was falling asleep, then when we got up to go home, I started feeling dizzy. I still am feeling dizzy, but more like a zombie like anything else. I felt like I needed to cry, that something was happening or going to happen.
I wasn't able to tell my mom that I was feeling dizzy, but she was smart enough, and said it was because that I took Ativan's without any food in my body!
Lord, I am willing and ready to quit smoking, so my mom can regrain her energy and health back. May the tests that she is going to go under, come back normal. It would be my Palanca for you, my mom and especially to me! I'm not getting that pleasure of inhaling and exhailing anymore. If anyone reads this blog, can you close your eyes and say a prayer for me??, and know that it already is being appreciated. I better go for now. I'm going to make a phone call, and then go to bed. God Bless, Gaby x

Posted by cantina/religious at 12:47 AM EST
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Tuesday, 17 February 2004
why everything in one language?
Why everything in one language? That's the question I have been asking myself, for a very long time, and I have no answer as of yet.I have a feeling that what I am helping to organize, is going to be in one language, and not 2, but we'll have to wait and see what is what. The reason for this talking or blogging, is because I just got back from a meeting, and they know I don't understand all fully this one particular language, and yet all they spoke was that one language.
I just wrote an email to the organizer of this event, and asked him if at the next meeting we can have both languages instead of just one.
Was I being mean? Gonna go and take a shower, and then hopefully get to bed soon. I had a good day today, but I still need to sleep more, to be more effective at work, or anywhere else at that matter. Good night, and hope to hear from you on your opinions. Love, me, the blogger.

Posted by cantina/religious at 9:59 PM EST
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Sunday, 15 February 2004
"Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes Lord, yes......"
Yes Lord,I am there to serve you as well as I can. I called S.J. to congratulate her for accepting to Co-Direct the next challenge weeknd,and she asked me if i wanted to Co-Direct for kitchen team. She told me she'd give me a week to decide, but I said yes right away without even thinking twice. I also called S.C. to congratulate her as well. I am waiting for A.D. to call me, so I can ask him a favor for next week. I'm going to go for now, I will blog in a little while. God Bless you everyone, and thank you S.J. and S.C. for asking me to be on team. Love, me, the blogger.

Posted by cantina/religious at 6:34 PM EST
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Thursday, 12 February 2004
I need a total blessing from point A-to point Z
Hi, this is the blogger. Hope all is well and that work and or school is not too stressful.
I need a total blessing from point A-to point Z. Tom, if you are reading this blog, can you give me a total blessing, all that may exsist when I see you at our next meeting? if you can answer my blog, by sending a comment regarding this, that would be great. My computer is abit slow, something that I am most often (hehe),,so i am going to go for now, as it is annoying me like crazy. Be well, and feel free for anyone to post a comment. Love, the blogger,(gaby)

Posted by cantina/religious at 5:41 PM EST
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Wednesday, 11 February 2004
How come, so all of a sudden?
How come so all of a sudden, am i getting back a panic attack.? I thought, they'd be gone atleast for today!
I had a really bad day at work, some idiot walked in telling me i don't know what i am doing. Gee thanks, i'm there only a week. She literally thought she was the boss.
Your probably asking if i am over what happened last night, and the answer is no. I'm really sorry, but that's what happens when you are classified as a highly sensitive person. Whatever you've done wrong or by mistake, stays' with you, or atleast for me, even about a month. I can't get over it. That's just the way i am. Better go for now. I'll talk to you later on tonight. God bless.

Posted by cantina/religious at 5:19 PM EST
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