Sugar, Caffeine and VH1

One essay left to go.  Finally.  For some reason - be it the cold weather, or the shortness of the term - the end of winter quarter is always the worst thing ever for me.  Even the end of this one, one in which I had no finals and only two papers.  That's by far the easiest end to any quarter I've ever had.  I seem to be getting lazier with age.

My other essay for this week wasn't fun at all.  I handed it in a day late and ended up staying up all night Monday night writing it.  Thank goodness for Dunkin' Donuts at 6:00 AM, so that I could keep myself up with serious quantities of sugar and caffeine.  I also kept myself up with seven hours straight of VH1.  So many music videos... plus Behind the Music for 1981 and 1984, which, mind you, were two of the worst years ever, musically (damn you, Foreigner!!!).  I did finally end up getting the paper done, though, and only a day late.  But the whole thing screwed up my sleep schedule badly, making it so I've wound up going to bed at 4:00 in the afternoon since then.

In the night, when I've been up, I've been mostly destroying my brain cells watching TV - movies, music videos - and playing video games.  At one point, I went out at four in the morning with my friends Jon and Bill, and we wandered around the empty university campus eating junk food from Store 24.  Whatever self-motivation I'd put together to do the first paper this week evaporated into a vacuous nothingness of wasting time.  I'll have to build it all back up again soon if I have any hope of doing my other paper by the end of the week when I need to have it done.

Sigh, you'll have to excuse me if I have a complete lack of things to say for the past few days.  But really, all I've been doing seems to me like mindless nothingness.  I'm not sure my brain has really been on at all this week.  I just know I'm somehow going to irrevocably fuck up my future while I'm not paying attention.  My only hope is that maybe I already have, so I don't have to worry about what I do now.  I'm deeply afraid that's not the case.  There's nothing worse than feeling like you've screwed something up badly when you actually haven't and, while you're feeling bad about it, actually screwing it up.