You are not special You cannot outsmart anyone You do not have your own sense of style, no matter how much you think you do They don't make just one green and white pair of shorts, they make 8000, and you haven't seen any others yet That hat is not cool You are not above anyone, you only border on being equals You're probably less than equal You're not good at addition, or else you would know all these already You're living a lie that no one will ever know but you, so why do it? We don't like you any more because of your friends, we don't like your friends There are many differences between men and women, but the fact still remains that the other is always more mature Women: You mature faster than men, so stop acting like children, you're making them look bad Your boyfriend is not your soulmate, he is your newest crush Maybe he really is your solemate This doesn't apply if you are a lesbian, except that she isn't your solemate either I've thought it over, and he isn't the one Men like your breasts more than you show them Don't show them What you do in closed quarters is between you and the wall, and your best girlfriend, and your other 5 girlfriends, and your guyfriend, and your mother, and your old guyfriend that moved to that state not to far from here Men: Try to get a few girlfriends at once and see how that works She is not your soulmate, but if you can pull it off than go for it Work harder than the men around you, because some time later they will be the ones with it all The less you care the better You don't really know anything about women, so just fake it People: The less you say you care the more we know you want us to think you don't care You're not cool Your music sucks, they're just yelling You've known that for years, so just stop listening to it If you're not good at sports, compliment those who are, it's a lot of work to do that Don't actually compliment them, it's not to hard to make themselves look better than you We don't want to hear your stories unless you don't want to tell them Stop playing around Get a job You know the rest If this applies to you than take it to heart If this doesn't apply to you that you haven't been reading carefully This is not meant to lower you self-esteem, because it didn't This is not meant to fuel your greed, because it did If you think you understood this, you didn't If you didn't think you understood this, you're right If you might understand this, you don't If you can understand this, you won't Take out of this what you wish, or pretend you have all the answers