What if Greenfurry Directed, The Lord of the Rings? Part VII

 

Katana: Hello again, True Believers. I just finished all the work for the Moria sequence, so I can concentrate on my role.

Greenfurry: Okay, we're on the mountain and you're relaxing. Boromir is teaching the hobbits how to fight. Action!

Boromir: Okay, Step. Slice (Potter Attacks him. He parries) Good. Now Poke (Potter pokes him. He parries)

Villageidiot: No! It's done like this. (Does Pokemon)

Boromir: I beg to differ.

Villageidiot: You wanna fight?!

Boromir: Gladly (Charges at Villageidiot)

Villageidiot: (Throws his sword at Boromir. Boromir dodges and It his Bang Bang)

Bang Bang: OWWW!! (Pulls out the sword and Attacks Villageidiot)

Homestar: Hey guys! The Hobbit's hurting Aragorn!

Katana: (Shoots Bang Bang in the face with an arrow) Take this spawn of Satan!

Dante: (Does Thirteen Kicks on Bang Bang)

Drizzt: (Cuts out Bang Bang's Spleen)

(Soon everyone is beating on Bang Bang)

Vash: Everyone Stand Aside! (Fires up Angel Arm)

Bang Bang: (A pile of Soggy meat peaces on the floor) No!

Gandalf: Hey! (Uses his powers to launch the gun out of his hand) There will be no more violence on other members. He's had enough. (Gandalf heals Bang Bang)

Spike: (To Bang Bang) I'd think twice next time you try to hurt someone on Sweet Sixteen.

Silent Bob: (Gives Bang Bang the Finger)

Bang Bang: Hey!

Mini-Furry: (Does a Backflip and Lands on Solid Snake's Head. Looks out into the Distance) There's a cloud coming at us.

Boromir: It's moving fast.

Villageidiot: Hide!!! AHHHH!!! (Screams)

(Everyone runs around like Pansy's except for Vash, Solid Snake, Katana and Spike)

Solid Snake: (Shoots the birds with his PSG1)

Spike: (Shoots down the birds)

Katana: (Shoots Arrows at the birds)

(The Birds start exploding and falling to the ground. Suddenly, Snake's codec rings)

Otacon: Snake?! HOW COULD YOU KILL THOSE INNOCENT BIRDS?!

Snake: They weren't innocent. They were Spies of Saruman.

Otacon: You Stupid Moron! Those weren't spies. They were just birds! The Spies are right behind you! I have to go have an affair with another family member.

(Otacon signs off)

Snake: Damn! (They run beneath a rock)

(After the birds leave, they all reemerge)

Waffles: We could pass through the Mines of Moria.

Gandalf: No Gimli, I wouldn't take the path because I will never listen to anything you say.

Waffles: Hey! I'm a dwarf! I'm awesome! I've got an axe and a helmet...

Gandalf: (Casts Silence on him) We must take the Path of Cathadras.

(Cut to Cathadras)

(Frodo slips and falls he tumbles down the mountain)

Frodo: SAVE ME!!! (Keeps rolling. He then falls off the mountain)

Dante: That's a shame (They all keep going)

Silent Bob: (Uses force powers and brings Frodo back up)

(He gives Frodo a hug)

(Suddenly they are caught in a blizzard)

Gandalf: It's Saruman!!

(Everyone cowers in fear)

Solid Snake: Damn! Gandalf, I'm counting on you.

Gandalf: (Speaks gibberish. It doesn't help)

Villageidiot: We must stop!

Gandalf: No! (Keeps going) I'm going to do everything in my power to stop this avalanche!

Gimli: We could pass through the Mines of Moria.

Gandalf: No! That's the last thing we'll ever do.

Frodo: Gandalf, I implore you to reconsider.

Gandalf: mmm...Okay! We're going through the Mines of Moria!

Katana: (Sobs quietly for his lack of a role in this story)