WHAT MEN SAY |
WHAT MEN MEAN |
| "I'm going fishing" | "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a lake with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety" |
| "It's a guy thing" | "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical" |
| "Uh huh" or "Yes, Dear" | "Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response" |
| "It would take too long to explain" | "I have no idea how it works or what I'm trying to explain" |
| "We're going to be late" | "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac" |
| "That's interesting, Dear" | "Are you still talking?" |
| "It's a really good movie" | "It's got guns, knives, fast cars, explosions and beautiful women" |
| "You know how bad my memory is" | "I remember the theme song to 'Moonlighting', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and every conker game I ever won, but I forgot your birthday" |
| "I was just thinking about you and got you these roses" | "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe" |
| "Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal" | "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt" |
| "Hey. I've got my reasons for what I'm doing" | "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon" |
| "I can't find it" | "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless" |
| "What did I do this time?" | "What did you catch me at? Which time?" |
| "I heard you" | "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me" |
| "You know I could never love anyone else" | "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse" |
| "You look terrific" | "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving" |
| "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are" | "No one will ever see us alive again" |