Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.
| Riker: |
[puzzled] What the hell is Microsoft? |
| Data: |
[turns to explain] Allow me to explain. We will send this program, for some reason
called Windows, through the Borg command pathways. Once inside their root command unit, it
will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate. |
| Picard: |
But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they alter their processing systems to
increase their storage capacity? |
| Data: |
Yes, Captain. But when Windows detects this, it creates a new version of itself known
as an upgrade. The use of resources increases exponentially with each iteration. The Borg
will not be able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of their processing ability will
be taken over and none will be available for their normal operational functions. |
| Picard: |
Excellent work. This is even better than that unsolvable geometric shape idea. |
. . . . 15 Minutes Later . . .
| Data: |
Captain, we have successfully installed the Windows in the Borg's command unit. As
expected, it immediately consumed 85% of all available resources. However, we have not
received any confirmation of the expected upgrade. |
| Geordi: |
Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg storage and CPU capacity, but we still
have no indication of an upgrade to compensate for their increase. |
| Picard: |
Data, scan the history banks again and determine if there is something we have missed.
|
| Data: |
Sir, I believe there is a reason for the failure in the upgrade. Apparently the Borg
have circumvented that part of the plan by not sending in their registration cards. |
| Riker: |
Captain, we have no choice. Requesting permission to begin emergency escape sequence
3F! |
| Geordi: |
[excited] Wait, Captain! Their CPU capacity has suddenly dropped to 0% ! |
| Picard: |
Data, what do your scanners show? |
| Data: |
[studying displays] Apparently the Borg have found the internal Windows module named
Solitaire, and it has used up all available CPU capacity. |
| Picard: |
Lets wait and see how long this Solitaire can reduce their functionality. |
. . . . Two Hours Pass . . .
| Riker: |
Geordi, what is the status of the Borg? |
| Geordi: |
As expected, the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to compensate for increased CPU
and storage demands, but each time they successfully increase resources I have setup our
closest deep space monitor beacon to transmit more Windows modules from something called
the Microsoft Fun-Pack. |
| Picard: |
How much time will that buy us? |
| Data: |
Current Borg solution rates allow me to predict an interest time span of 6 more hours.
|
| Geordi: |
Captain, another vessel has entered our sector. |
| Picard: |
Identify. |
| Data: |
It appears to have markings very similar to the Microsoft logo... |
[over the speakers] This is admiral Bill Gates of the Microsoft flagship MONOPOLY. We
have positive confirmation of unregistered software in this sector. Surrender all assets
and we can avoid any trouble. You have 10 seconds to comply.