101 I Things Learned From Star Wars
- Never Trust men in dark helmets
- You don't really need to be fluent in six million forms of communication
- Check to ensure any princesses rescue and then fancy aren't the sister you never knew
you had
- When all else fails....jump
- Get some travel information before you go off to a planet you never heard of
- When you are a hero, nobody will kill you
- Do something every now and again that is suicidal
- Know the difference between a communications port and a power socket
- Remember that there is always something that can stop you
- THIS one goes here, THAT one goes there!
- When you see a piece of dead meet impaled on a stake in the woods...leave it!
- Never stand on a trapdoor leading to a Rancor pit
- Before spying on sandpeople with binoculars, make sure there isn't one standing in front
of you!
- Never, ever, ever, ever underestimate the power of the Dark Side
- Never judge a spaceship as a piece of junk, she's probable "got it where it
counts."
- Your eyes deceive you, don't trust them
- Only Imperial Storm Troopers are so precise, (unless they are aiming for a hero then
they can't hit the broad side of a Death Star)
- It's not my fault!
- Never buy stuff from a short guy in a hood, it'll lead to trouble
- Always let the Wookie win
- Trust your feelings
- Don't throw away you lightsaber
- Don't fall for the old "the restraining bolt is short circuiting my systems"
routine
- Always pay your debts in a hurry, (especially if you owe money to a 20 foot, two tonne
slug!)
- If you are only in it for the money, you may blow your chances with the princess
- When opening negotiations, always carry a thermal detonator
- When you and your crashed ship are about to get crushed by an AT-AT, don't hang around
and talk to the dead gunner
- If someone yells "it's a trap", believe them
- If you have a friend who keeps getting "a bad feeling about this", dump them,
they're trouble
- Don't stick anything other than a plug in the electric socket
- Don't go into a "cave" with teeth
- Walk in single file to hide your numbers
- Never tell someone the odds
- Floor it in an asteroid belt
- Hokey religions just might be a good substitute for a blaster at your side
- Don't let your friends know you have a problem with your droid
- Don't go to Lando's parties, he has unpopular friends
- Freezing someone is never "all to easy"
- When in doubt, jump in the trash
- Size doesn't matter (sounds familiar!)
- "Do or do not, there is no try"
- "Mind what you have learned, save you it can"
- Don't get cocky
- Don't build a hidden base in an arctic region
- Don't try to make friends on a Death Star com-link
- Proclaim your moment of triumph after it has happened...not before
- Remember, turn on the com-link
- If you need to extend the bridge, don't shoot the controls
- When in a lightsaber battle, don't let anyone cut off your right hand
- The best way to keep warm is to get inside a dead animal?!?
- Don't leave your screwdrivers hanging over the edge of the engine pit while flying
through an asteroid belt
- If your droid sneaks up on you while kissing a princess, ignore him
- Don't park you spaceship in the belly of a big worm
- Don't buy a droid
- If you buy a droid, make sure it has a good motivator
- If the droid you buy blows up, don't take advice from another droid on buying a new one
- Don't remove the restraining bolt
- Hologram characters always lead to trouble
- Don't crash your bike into trees
- Guys in black are the bad guys
- Guys in white are also the bad guys
- It's a real pain when you have to give up your job with your uncle to "learn the
ways of the force and become a Jedi like your father"
- If you become an Instructor at the Imperial Academy, start crash course for
Stormtroopers to handle little fury animals
- Don't go chasing meteors, especially when it's cold
- Blowing on a torch will not put it out
- Don't ride a bike if you are four foot tall and hairy
- Check for storage compartments
- Check for tracking devices
- Don't assume responsibility if you know the boss will choke you to death
- Don't make a deal with Darth Vader, he keeps changing his mind about things
- Don't let your droid fight with a Jedi Master
- Don't turn you back on the parent of the kid you are zapping with lightening bolts
- Don't fly side by side when going down a narrow passage
- When your ship is going down and everyone is shouting eject, they may have a point!
- I wouldn't just as soon kiss a Wookie
- Don't ever leave without giving a goodbye kiss
- "Let go of your conscious self, and act on instinct"
- If a Jedi offers you a bargain, take it
- Listen to two foot high green puppets
- Blowing up the escape pods saves a lot of trouble
- If your ship is bigger than a city, don't take it into an asteroid belt
- It is really cool to have a co-pilot that only you understand
- Don't have a shaft leading to a nuclear reactor in your throne room
- Don't close the blast doors
- If you are going to rescue someone, plan the escape first
- Don't work directly for Darth Vader
- Asteroid fields cause havoc with holographic communications
- Everything has a weakness, it's just a matter of exploiting it
Emperor - overconfident
Luke - friends
Death Star - thermal exhaust port
Stormtroopers - Ewoks
Star Destroyers - bridge deflector shields
Darth Vader - compassion for his kids
Leia - smugglers
Chewie - dead animals hanging from trees
Threepio - frail body
- If you see a small blue elephant at a party, you haven't necessarily drunk too much
- Adventure, excitement, a Jedi craves not these things!
- When buying a droid, remember to get the blueprints, they keep falling apart, or getting
blown up
- Cool costume + Bare minimum of screen time = Eternal popularity
- Patience... you must have Patience!
- These ARE the droids you are looking for, you idiots!
- Even if the Old Man does tell you to leave his throne room, it's usually a good idea to
stick around, out of sight: you never know when someone will throw him down a large shaft
- If you want promotion fast, get aboard the Executor, The big boss keeps choking the
middle management
- Always make sexual innuendo whenever possible (e.g. "look at the size of that
thing")
- Enter the trench as close to the target as possible! Don't fly all the way around
shooting it out!
- Get an R2-D2 unit, they are better than a Swiss army knife
- Watch out for Wampas in the snow
- If you run into two really ugly guys in a bar that say they are wanted men in seven
systems, run!