How To Kill A South Texas Eel


Little Johnnie was 7 years old and like other boys his age was rather curios. He had heard a lot about courting and wondered what it was and how it was done. He took his question to his mother who told him to hide behind the curtains and watch his sister and her boyfriend. He did this and the following day he explained what he had seen.

"Sis and her boyfriend turned off most of the lights and sat down. He then started hugging and kissing her, Sis must have been feeling sick as her face went funny, her boyfriend knew this because he put his hand up her blouse to feel her heart, but it took him a long time to find it. I guess he was getting sick because they both started panting and getting out of breath. I think his other hand was getting cold because he put it up her skirt. About this time Sis got worse and started to moan and groan and move to the end of the sofa and she said she was getting really hot. Finally I found out what was making them sick, a big eel had gotten in his pants. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there about ten inches long, HONEST. Anyway, he then grabbed it to stop it from escaping. When Sis saw it she got really scared, and her eyes went big and her mouth fell open and she started to call God and stuff like that, she said it was the biggest one she had ever seen. I should tell her about the ones down the lakes, Sis got brave and tried to kill it by biting its head off. All of a sudden she made a noise and let go, I guess it bit her back. She then grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while she took a muzzle out of his pocket and pulled it over its head to stop it from biting. She laid back and opened her legs so she could get a scissor hold on it and he helped by lying on top of it. The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch, I guess they tried to kill it by squashing it between them. After a while they both quit moving and let out a big sigh. Her boyfriend got up and sure enough they had killed the eel because it was just hanging there limp".

"Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle but they went back to courting. Anyway, he started kissing her and bugger me the eel wasn't dead, it jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are just like cats, they have nine lives or something. This time Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it. After they struggled for thirty-five minutes they finally killed it. I knew it was dead because I saw Sis’s boyfriend skin it and flush it down the toilet".