SEX


Top 10 Places to have sex:

In your bed
In your parents bed
In the car
On a washing machine, while running
In a hot tub
On a beach, down in the sand
On a comfy couch with the TV on
On a waterbed
A plane bathroom
In the rain

Top 10 Places NOT to have sex:

1. In the movies
2. In a car... While Driving
3. In front of all of your friends
4. In a phonebooth
5. In your best friend's bed
6. At Grandma's house
7. At school
8. In your dirty basement
9. In the street
10. ON-LINE


You should have sex on days that begin with T:
Thanksgiving,
Tuesday,
Thursday,
Today,
Tomorrow,
Thaturday?
Thunday?
Every Thucking day!


Sex is:
like Nokia - Cconnecting people
like Nike - Just do it
like Pepsi - Ask for more
like Coca Cola - Enjoy


Top three things to say before having sex:

1. I love you (but only if you mean it)
2. Rock my world
3. Let's get ready to RUMBLE...


Top three things NOT to say before having sex:

1. Is this gunna hurt?
2. Sure....I've done this thousands of times...
3. Are you sure it's in there?


Top 3 things to say after sex:

1. Are you sure this was you're first time?
2. Gotta cigarette?
3. Wanna do it again?


Top 3 things NOT to say after sex:

1. That was IT??
2. I think I hear my mom calling me ---- see ya
3. OOPS, the condom broke! My bad!