The Scotsman


A Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair
And one could tell, by how he walked, that he'd drunk more than his share,
He staggered 'round until he could no longer keep his feet,
And staggered off into the grass to sleep beside the street

About this time two fair and tender maids just happened by,
and one says to the other, with a twinkle in her eye,
"See yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong and handsome built,
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt!"

They crept up on the sleeping Scotsman, quiet as can be
And lifted up the kilt above his waist so they could see,
and there behold for them to see, beneath his Scottish skirt,
was nothing but what God had graced him with upon his birth.

They marvelled for a moment, and one said "we must be gone,
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along"
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow,
around the bonny star of the "Scot's Kilt Lifting Show".

The Scotsman woke to natures call, and stumbled towards a tree,
He lifted up his kilt, and he gawks at what he sees,
and in a startled voice he says, to what's before his eyes,
"Lad, I don't know where you've been, but I see you've won first prize!"