There was a horny young lady named Lil,
Who fucked dynamite sticks for a thrill.
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil!
There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose cock was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
"If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it"
There was a young lady from Leith,
Who would circumcise men with her teeth,
It wasn't for fame,
Or love of the game
But to get at the cheese underneath.
There was a young actress from Crewe,
Who remarked as the vicar withdrew,
The Bishop was quicker,
and thicker and slicker,
And two inches longer than you.
There was a young vampire called Mable,
whose periods were always quite stable,
at every full moon
she took out a spoon,
and drank herself under the table.
There was a young plumber from Lee,
who was plumbing his girl with great glee,
she said stop your plumbing,
I think someones coming,
said the plumber still plumbing "its me"!
There was a young lassie from Morton,
who had one long tit and one short 'en,
on top of all that,
a great hairy twat,
and a fart like a six fifty Norton.
There was a young girl called Molly,
who fancied a bit in a quarry.
She laid on her back,
and opened her crack.
And the bastard backed in with a lorry.
There was a young man from Harrow,
who had one as big as a marrow.
He said to his tart,
try this for a start.
My balls are outside on a barrow.
There was a young girl from Devizes,
who had tits of different sizes.
One was quite small,
almost nothing at all.
But the other was big and won prizes.
Buffallo Billy had a ten-foot willy
He showed it to the girl next door
She thought it was a snake
So she whacked it with a rake
And now it's only five foot four.