The demon asked, "Why so glum?"
The man responded, "What do you think? I'm in Hell!"
"Hell's not so bad," the demon said. "We actually have a lot of fun down here. Are you a drinking man?"
"Yeah, I love to drink." the man said.
"Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whiskey, Vodka, Beer, anything. We drink until we throw up and then we drink some more!"
The man is astounded. "Damn, that sounds great."
"You a smoker?" the demon asked.
"You better believe it!"
"You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, no worries. You're already dead, remember?"
"Wow," the man said, "that's awesome!"
The demon continued. "I bet you like to gamble."
"Why yes, as a matter of fact I do."
"Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, races, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead anyhow. You into drugs?"
The man said, "Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean . . ."
"That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you're dead! Who cares?"
"I think I'm beginning to like it here" the man said, starting to feel better about his situation, "I never realised Hell was such a cool place!"
The demon said, "You gay?"
"No."
"Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays!"