The Cowboy & The Horse


A cowboy, dusty and tired, just in town from a long a hard cattle drive, wanders into the local saloon. He sits and the end of the long bar and sips his cold beer in silent delight. He looks around and sees a large jar at the other end of the bar filled with money with a note labelled across its middle. He saunters over and reads the note, it reads, "Make my horse laugh and win all the money in the jar!". The jar is filled with money. The cowboy  asks the bartender what the story is behind the jar and the bartender explains that the horse is his and that it is stabled out at the back of the saloon. The purpose of the contest is to raise money for the annual restoration of the towns lady auxiliary bingo hall. He explains that once  the jar is filled the money is taken to the ladies club and the empty jar is replaced for the next years contest.

The cowboy ponders this for a while as he downs a few more pints. He then asks the bartender if he can enter the contest. The bartender laughs and says sure and leads the cowboy out to the stable in the back. The bartender watches as the cowboy meanders over to the stallion and whispers something in the animals ear. Suddenly, the horse breaks out in a hearty laugh, increasing in intensity until there are tears running down its cheeks. Passers by and patrons alike come into the stable out of curiosity and witness this miracle. Satisfied that he won his prize, the cowboy takes the jar from the bar and wanders back out onto the range.

Another month and a half goes by and the same cowboy comes back into the same bar at the end of yet another long hard cattle drive. He orders another cold beer from the same bartender who recognises him and promptly points out the jar the at the other end of the bar. The cowboy goes over to the jar and reads the note labelled across its middle. It reads, "Make my horse cry and the jar is yours!" Smiling, the cowboy downs his beer and accepts the challenge. The bartender escorts him out back to the stable and points out the hysterical horse who, he says, has been suffering from fits of crazy laughter since the cowboys last visit!

The cowboy makes his way past the crowd of town folk to the mad horse and after he gets his attention promptly whispers again to the horse who immediately burst out into loud laughter yet again. The crowd moans and the bartender smiles triumphantly. The cowboy, unhindered, unbuttons his jeans and opens the front of his trousers. The horse looks down and his eyes widen in horror. The cowboy does up his fly and stands staring at the silent terrified stallion. The horses eyes roll and he flops to the stable floor weeping like a widowed bride. The crowd gasps a collective breath and the bartender sighs. The cowboy contented that he won his prize, walked back into bar and collected his jar.

He sits at his place at the bar and orders another cold beer. The bartender serves him and when the crowd has sufficiently dispersed he quietly asks the cowboy how he managed his two works of wonder. The cowboy wipes his chin and smiles. "The method was simple ol' hoss" he says. "Last time I told him my dick was bigger then his" The cowboy then takes another swig of his beer and allows time for the bartender to take it in. The bartender then asks,  "Well, what did you do this time!" The cowboy pauses then smiles as he replies, "This time I showed him!"