| 640K barrier | The finish line in a mega-marathon |
| Access time | Foreplay |
| Analog | What Ana tosses into the fire |
| Assembly language | Put tab A into slot B, then put tab C... |
| Audit trail | What the IRS does |
| Bandwidth | Limited by the size of the stage |
| Battery backup | Going in reverse in a golf cart |
| BBS | T-telling t-tall s-stories |
| Benchmark | What happens when your saw hits the bench |
| Broadband | An all female rock group |
| Cache memory | Remembering how much you spent |
| Carrier detect | "I see the mailman!" |
| CASE | 24 bottles |
| Control character | Prison guard |
| Conventional memory | Remembering what you did at COMDEX |
| Copy protection | Wearing a rubber |
| Copyright | Vs. copy wrong |
| Cursor | A garbage mouth |
| Daisy chain | A dog's leash |
| DAT | The opposite of DIS |
| Deadly embrace | Making love to King Kong |
| Delimiter | Someone who says, "Stop, that's enough" |
| Density | How to measure IQs of blondes |
| Dhrystones | The stones that were tossed out of the water |
| DIP switch | How my sister gets a new boyfriend |
| Dot pitch | "Dorothy winds ups, and delivers a knuckle ball" |
| EDCDIC | Similar to herpes |
| EMS | Happens just before PMS |
| End user | A prisoner's cell mate |
| Escape sequence | Distract guard. Dig tunnel. Cut through fence... |
| Ethernet | Used to catch Ether |
| Fixed disk | A broken disk that comes back from the shop |
| Flash EPROM | What they have on 90210 (Flashy Proms) |
| Flat bed scanner | A hooker looking for loose change |
| Flat file | A file with all the air out of it |
| Full duplex: | A 2-family house with 16 occupants |
| GroupWare | Clothes swapping |
| Hacker | A heavy smoker |
| Half-height drive | A midget's sexual capacity |
| Hand scanner | Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings |
| Heap | What I drive |
| High density diskette | A very stupid floppy |
| Home computer | What you tell your computer when it follows you |
| Hypertext | Text on amphetamines |
| Ink jet | A plan used for sky writing |
| Integrated circuit | A circuit with black & white components |
| Joystick | (Requires little explanation) |
| Local bus | Stops at every intersection |
| Lost chains | Euphoria experienced by the recently divorced |
| Low-level language | For basement programmers |
| High-level language | For penthouse programmers |
| Machine dependency | An affliction of machine users |
| Mag tape | Tape used on the wheels of cars |
| Mainframe | Akin to "main squeeze" |
| Main memory | Remembering where the water line is |
| Math co-processor | The person you cheated from in math class |
| Megaflop | The worst play you ever saw |
| Minicomputer | The peer to Mickey's computer |
| Modem | What the gardener did to the lawns |
| Multi-sync | Can be sunk more than once |
| Native mode | Head hunting |
| On-line | Where the birds sit |
| Overlay | Chickens making too many eggs |
| Pentium | The thing that swings back-and-forth on a clock |
| Plotter | A deceitful person |
| Postscript | Graffiti on a pole |
| Protected memory | Remembering to wear a condom |
| Record locking | What you do to your Beetles White Album |
| Right justified | Vs. wrongly justified |
| Software piracy | Stealing a ship's program |
| Spreadsheet | A hooker's foreplay |
| Streaming tape | Party decorations |
| Subroutine | Not quite routine |
| Surge protector | A condom |
| Token ring | A group of people passing the bong |
| Trackball | What sprinters and runners often get |
| Twisted pair | Tubes tied |
| Word wrap | Black music |
| Worksheet | A prostitutes office |
| Ymodem | Because, modem |