“I don’t care about the Staab inside; I just want to pet the shirt.” ~Lindsay
“May the forces of evil be confused on the way to your house.” ~Scary Mike
“Sometimes trees like to eat me.” ~Lindsay
“There are different classes of dust under your bed. You have your dust bunnies, and then you have your dust Velociraptors.” ~Snarf
“I’m covered in peanut butter. Lick me!” ~Nikkii
“Gee, I sure like to lick large moist melons!” ~Weekly World News
“What? You’re pregnant?” ~Monica
“Fear?” ~Monica
“Killer Mouse-Mouse had OCD & Turrets. Twitch, Twitch, CLEAN! CLEAN! Spaz, twitch, CLEAN!” ~Nikkii
“SQUEAK!” ~Abby
“Pikachu is the pimp master!” ~Sara
“Yo, yo, what is vertical in you housing unit, homie seventh letter of the alphabet? Slap me some epidermal tissue on my five-finger unit.” ~Sara
“Stay frosty!” ~ReBoot
“BASTARDS!” ~Nikkii
“My plan for world domination -- one man at a time.” ~Nikkii
“So, how ‘bout that local sports team?” ~Matt
“So, how ‘bout that local knitting circle?” ~Sara
“Abby, can we go play bump-bump?” ~Dave
“BOOBIES” ~Dave
“Hump, hump, nuzzle, nuzzle.” ~Dave
“Oh baby, oh baby.” ~Abby
“[Bad porn music.]” ~Sara
“I ism your ism.” ~Monica
“Snow, damn you, SNOW!” ~Nikkii
“Holy Christ on a cracker!” ~Nikkii
“Make I go splat!” ~Monica
“Heavier than a dead preacher.” ~Sara
“FLOINK!” ~Sara
“Reverse stalker: wherever you go, he’s already there.” ~Monica / Abby
“Wine!” ~Abby
“Sometimes all you can do is shake your head.” ~Carrie
@ Wendy’s: “is it bad when your chicken tastes like peanut butter?” ~Monica
“Transvestitecannibalisticincestualhomosexualbeastialnecrophiliac from Transylvania.” ~group effort
“It takes a REAL man to wear makeup!” ~Carrie / Ryan
“She could lean how to use his stick”
“But I don’t even know how to skate!” ~Chelsey
“Once you pass three guys, you start to run out of places to put them.” ~Lindsay
“Who needs a penis?” ~Lindsay
“Is it bad when your hands go numb?” ~Lindsay, on that fateful night
“I’ll fluff you!” ~Carrie
“Nookie never lies!” ~ City Hunter
“Floink? It ought to be oink” ~Tom
“You’re not a dumbass. You’re just under intelligent.” ~Stalker Mike
“Rawr!” ~Monica
“Ahhhhhh!” ~Monica
Nicole sleeps through physics . . . again.
“Hey!”
“What?”
“You made me break the noodle.”
“Well then, stop trying to steal them.”
“Damn, I broke one again.”
“Will you stop stealing my noodles!!”
~ Sara / Abby
“Never mind. I’ll just use a pencil.” ~Sara
HAMSTER RACES!
Meal Hall Artwork.
“There’s two?!” ~Lindsday
“You know, you can’t really taste the pea-ness of the pea, because it’s overwhelmed by the chickeny-ness of the chicken.” ~Abby
“Why does Sara get her calls here?” ~Nikkii
“Bounce, Bounce.” ~Kharin
“Sexy hair! Oh yeah!” ~Kharin
“Bite me left testicle!”
“What’s wrong with the right one?”
“That one’s broken.”
~Dave / Nikkii
“Are you guys gonna play sexual Set again?” ~Stalker Mike
“Shiny. . .” ~Monica
“Bad corn! Bad! Bad corn! I shall punish you with salsa, sour cream, and mashed potatoes! Bad!” ~Lindsay, Monica & Nikkii
“Mother!?” ~Nikkii (stolen from Daffy Duck)
“He’s petting your Pussy!” ~Abby
“Eep!” ~Nikkii
“WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!” ~Sammy the Squirrel
“I ism your ism-isming!” ~Monica
“For shizzle my nizzle?” ~Nikkii (from Drew)
“We’ll pop one of yours and one of mine.” ~Nikkii
“Ooh ooh ooh ooh!” ~Nikkii
“Bitch!” ~Monica, playing Set
“My dick is two inches. From the ground!” ~Drew
“You can stick me anywhere you like.” ~Stalker Mike
“Random ununderstandableness.” ~Monica & Lindsay
“Fallin out! Falling out!”
“Well, stop playing with it then!” ~Sara / Abby
“Don’t make Killer Mouse Mouse all wet!” ~Abby
“Can’t sleep, Pikachu will hump me!” ~Snarf
“Give me the brain . . . My heart is lonely.” ~ Cheapass Games, Give me the brain
“Ahhh! [spins in circle] You know him too? Ahhh! [spinning]” ~Kelly
“It actually stayed in this time.”
"Yeah, and its sticking straight up." ~Nicole / Snarf
“I know they’re black and skin tight. That’s why I bought them.” ~Sara
“Go Go Gadget Penis! Kerploing!” ~Dave
“Boy Scouts really like their butter!” ~Monica
“Apparently truckers really like their cheese.” ~Sara
“Bonerific!” ~Stalker Mike
“Do they talk about orgasms?”
“That’s not an ‘ism’”
“Oh, that’s an ‘asm’ sorry.”
~ Tom / Nikkii
“My name is Drew & I’m here to say I like Fruity Pebbles in a major way.” ~M.C. Drew
“I got a big black rock. I love it.” ~ Drew
“He’s a retard?”
“Yeah. He’s a bo-tard!” ~Drew
“There’s comedy, there’s high comedy & then there’s Dave humping Snarf.” ~Drew
“Your internet blows white Eskimo ass.” ~Drew
“Fuckin’ W!” ~Sara
“Fuckin’ W, we are so messed up.” ~Abby
“Sara brings an orgy with her wherever she goes.” ~Abby
“Aw, muffin.” ~Tom
“Love is fifteen minutes of squishy noises.” ~Dave
“Squelch, squelch.” ~Nikkii
“Lego dick -- she thinks it’ll come off.” ~Dave
“Abby, how come you and Nicole don’t both get naked and have hot lesbian nipple sex?” ~Dave
“I want to see some titage.” ~Pat
“Now THAT is a big mushroom!” ~Socerer - Diablo 1
“Fuckin’ apostrophe.” ~Dave
“Oh my god! This is like, so totally OMG!” ~Abby
“Don’t get my boob in there.” ~Monica
“Aaron and I shoved together easier ‘cus we saw each other more.” ~Monica
“Unlock me baby!” ~Nikkii
“It tastes better when it’s hidden.” ~Nikkii
"You have to worry when your roommate starts slipping you date-rape drugs."
"Abby, all you had to do was ask." ~Abby / Nikkii
"What's-his name was there. You know! He had, like, a brother..." ~Abby
"Wonderbra, they do...wonders!" ~Nikkii
"What comes after 8? Oh yeah..." ~Nikkii
"Does this 100 mean 100?" ~Monica
"We weren't on drugs! We were high on life...and dry erase markers." ~Nikkii
"We have group mastication sessions." ~Abby
"SupercalifragilisticSEXpialidocious" ~Sean
“I am a decently disturbed individual.” ~Sean
“There’s no such thing as sex on credit . . . you can’t enjoy now and pay later.” ~Nikkii
“The sex payment plan, $5/month, no interest till 2003.” ~Sean
“Boinking is an acquired skill.” ~Sean
“There’s no such thing as a bad drug.” ~Nikkii
“Emergency drunk!” ~Sean
“BOINK!” ~Sean
“We are pleasantly evil” ~Abby / Sean
“And vice versa & vice versa.” ~Sean
“better go get the rain guage.” ~Sean
“Deliciously disturbed.” ~Nikkii
“Promiscuity is a citizen’s duty. Everybody belongs to everybody else.” ~Brave New World
“I hope I taste this good when I’m Dead.” ~Chelsey
“Penis Jacks”
“They don’t TASTE like a penis” ~Aaron / Lindsay
“I didn’t know they lost each other’s eyes” ~Abby
“Take it down to our room, it’s SO not a dry room.” ~Abby
"I divorced her, she was so middle-school." ~Aaron
“I’m so not drunk enough for this!” ~Nikkii
“Those aren’t the boots you walk in, those are the kind that spend all night pointed at the ceiling.” ~Dave
“Mad phat ass kicking skills” ~Lindsay
“Why does Sara have my balls in her room?” ~Abby
“Whoa! This chocolate tastes like vodka!” ~Andy W.
“I just want to say that I ‘came’ to a party in a ‘wet’ room full of drunk chicks.” ~Andy W.
“I don’t have tha balls to do that.”
“I have chain mail balls if you’d like to borrow them.” ~Nikkii/Abby
“I’m a closet dancer.” ~Lindsay
“We frequently spoon our noses in bed.” ~Aaron
“I’m Cold, I wanna do some nose spooning.” ~Aaron
‘I can hear the call now: “Hello officer? There are two strange duffle bags in Scales. No, no one dropped them off, they're carrying themselves around...they seem to be lost...”’ ~Lindsay
“I do have to admit, it’s very nice in there.” ~Abby
“nener to the extreme” ~Lindsay
L********1: <<-- confused
A*********X: hmm
A*********X: me make sound for put on CD
A*********X: CD play in background
A*********X: while me make more sound
A*********X: people in audience listen, ears bleed, pay me.
A*********X: me go home happy.
~Abby/Ryan over AIM
“Who needs pants?” ~Nikkii
“I don’t care who you overthrow, just don’t touch the good steak restaurants.” ~Chris
“Peanut Doughnut hair ball! Doo Dah, Doo Dah!” ~Chris
“Monsters dig the hat” ~Brandon
“In your face to do list!” ~Dave
“It’s ok if you eat the seeds, ‘cus then your tummy will grow and people will ask if your pregnant and you’ll have to say ‘no, I’m having a watermelon.’” ~Monica
“Turkey o’ doom!” ~Monica
“Moo.” ~Mel
"Greep is a vicious, growling sheep found in the hills of Ireland and occationally running rampant through American dorm rooms. I tried hugging one once, but it started running after me and trying to bite my ass." ~Mel
“Make it go splat!” ~Monica
“And they inherently like to bite people's asses
“That’s where we came up with the definition for bootylicious
“1. Being bit in the ass by a greep 2. Having the ass quality to potentially attract hungry greep” ~Mel
“It’s sorta like veal. . . but corn.” ~Monica
“Can you breathe?”
“No, I’m illiterate.”
~ Monica / Nikkii
“My new title is ‘Smoldering temptress and confuser of men.’” ~Nikkii
"Well, luckily we've got something plugging up the long submarine shaped hole in the ships. What's that? A large submarine shaped submarine." ~Aaron
“I understand women need power, but you don’t need to cut my dick off in the process.” ~DeShaun
“That's what I love about being an American, I can eat anything I want so long as I have two slices of bread!” ~Nate
“I’m checking me ‘do-I-give-a-damn-meter.’ It’s at an all time low.” ~Brandon
“I feel his larynx on m breast.” ~Kelly
“Psychopath? I’m not a psychopath, there the ass-holes that get caught!” ~Addison
“I know only two ways to releave stress, and you’re not pretty enough for the first.” ~Addison
“I’m so kappy!” ~Rachel
“Origami Elf! Yes!” ~Lindsay
“Girls, never fuck with a god, they fuck back.” ~Monica
“That’s what they pay you for?”
“Yes, stripping and patting.” ~Monica / Mel
“I am a naughty girl.” ~Nikkii
“I don’t wanna see her nipples!”
“She looks better with her glasses on.” ~ Brandon / Ken
“There just marshmallows, they won’t feel you up.” ~ Nikkii
“Oh, that building looks important, I better destroy it.” ~Dave
“I’ll leave the tip, you leave your number, and you leave your panties.” ~Dave
“I want to see him naked, but not like that.” ~Rachel
“What other ways are there to see someone naked, other than seeing them naked?” ~Monica
“Rach was so drunk you could smell the alcohol through AIM.” ~Lindsay
“When I grow up I want to be a mistress.” ~Bob.
“Sometimes I think I’ve done more than my share of this planet’s chemicals.” ~Gabe
“And I said, ‘screw the firemen, I’m not wearing any pants!’” ~Foster
“Incest is not a way of ‘swinging!’” ~ Andy^2
“I’ll kill him, I’ll kill him dead!” ~Monica
“Making fun of school food is the great American past time.” ~Sean
“for $16 you can have balls of steel.” ~Brandon
“My belches scare me.” ~Abby
“Stop poking the bad part!” ~Monica
“He took my arm so I took his leg.” ~Lindsay
“I liked what I read, I don’t want to analyze it and mount it like a bead butterfly!” ~Brandon
“Hulk smash Freddy Prince Jr!” ~Marvel E-Comics
“Apparently ‘comfort her’ Means take her in the shower.” ~Andy^2
“The shiny just molested me.” ~Nikkii
“I’m not slow, I’m floating.” ~Nikkii
“They’re super human cats, which makes sense, ‘cus they’re cats.” ~Nikkii
“Oh Jesus in a side car, there’s never this many buildings in the movies!” ~Brandon/Ari
“Aliens and cats and birds, oh my!” ~Brandon
“Maybe [it’s because] you’re not in tune with the alien glasses of cheapness.” ~Brandon
“I can’t hear you, your pants are on fire.” ~Nikkii
“There’s a mutated cheese ball looking at me.” ~Nikkii
“It’s the invisible man! But how did they find him? Did they just throw sheets around the room until they got him?” ~Nikkii
“It’s okay; they’re walk – through pickles.” ~Brandon
“Polytheism wanna cracker?” ~Brandon/Ari
“I think I’m having tongue-sex with a piece of glass.” ~Nikkii
Abby: “Jesus fucking Christ on a hand cart!”
Brandon: “Who’s on the other side of the hand cart?”
Abby: “Christ fucking Jesus.”
“Eventually you memorize your own name, it’s quite useful.” ~Prof. O’Donnel
“Then we can say ‘we didn’t push him off the bridge, it was the bowling ball he happened to be attached to.’” ~Lindsay
“It was an unconscious thwacking, so it’s ok.” ~Brandon
“Vicious Dishwater, that’s a hell of a punk band name.” ~Brandon
“Our Crone jingles, the Maiden sneaks like Bugs Bunny, the Mother snorts Coke, the Goddess had staples in her head, and the God is a wolf in a circle of cats!”
“Please refrain from shoving the Ankh up your ass!” ~Lindsay
“But I thought that was what it was for!” ~Nikkii
"There will be no excessive jewelry in the bathroom." ~Nate
“If you wore a guillotine around your neck you wouldn’t be wearing it for very long.” ~Monica
“Daddy long legs aren’t spiders, they don’t have anthrax.” ~Brandon
“So that’s why we don’t like spiders, they have anthrax!” ~Monica
“I slept with him last night ‘cus I was too lazy to go up into my loft.” ~Abby
“Brandon has a thing with the non-corporal women.” ~Abby
“DOS is like your basic mafia goon, not too bright, but it does whatever you tell it to do.” ~Nate
“He’s dead honey, because mommy killed him.” ~Nightmare on Elm Street
“Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, no matter how insane they are!” ~From Dusk till Dawn
“I’ll show them what a real vamp can do, and that we’re not soft and squishy!” ~Tensidia (Nate)
“It’s the great Nawlens shrinkey-dink van!” ~Lindsay
"I want five people to die trying to read my journals." ~Nate
“Did you notice the kid next to you woke up?” ~Nikkii
“I jammed your Brandar!” ~Brandon
Sean: “Gothic Bondage!”
Brandon: “Yes! I don’t even care what the question was, but that’s the right answer!”
“We need to know what we’re up against, is it biological, chemical, or other”
“Well, um... I’m leaning towards, uh...‘other.’” ~Phantoms
“If we didn’t have stupid blonds to kill, I wouldn’t be the man I am today.” ~Brandon
“Open the top drawer and pull out a sheet of napalm.” ~Abby
“Oh, yes, here’s your napalm.” ~Brandon
“I only asked for one piece of napalm, two pieces would be overkill.” ~Monica
“I like Nutella talk.” ~Monica
“It’s more fun to shoot them in the butt?” ~Monica
“Yeah, it gives them a fighting chance.” ~Brandon
“Ow! I just stabbed myself with my hair.” ~Brandon
“There was stuff in the way; there is never tuff in the way on Miami Vice.” ~Brandon
“The wind is disrobing me.” ~Lindsay
“Oh good, I finally get it open and it runs away.” ~Brandon
“Nekky people running around!” ~Monica
“Dag nabbit! I’m going to kill my underwear!” ~Abby
“Your boob is making my knee bend!” ~Lindsay
“Do I have to do this?” ~Brandon
“You may need to, you don’t have boobs.” ~Abby
“Why does the apocalypse always happen to me?” ~Brandon
“My bra strap tried to attack my final exam.” ~Lindsay
“Abby is the condom avenger.” ~Lindsay