My whole family and relatives live in Taiwan. They are either Buddhists or Daoists, so I was very curious about all the spiritual things when I was young. I was involved in lots of things including meditations, doing deep-breathing exercises (chi-kong), worshipping idols…etc. However, it doesn't matter how often or how hard I tried to worship Buddha or practice do chi-kong, I was still very lonely and hopeless.
After I graduated from college, I came to work in Silicon Valley by myself. At the first job, becuase of the politics within the company, I was misled and my managers broke promises with me. Therefore I was so hopeless and filled with hatred toward people.
At the end of December 1998, I cried out with deepest pain in my room. I cried," Who can help me? Is there any God who can really help me? Is there a God? " All of a sudden, I felt great power surrounding and circling me. Compared to my past experiences in doing chi-kong, this power was awesome and beyond anything I have ever experienced before. I was not afraid of this power at all, but I was stunned at this supernatural power. I wanted to know its origin.
The following Sunday (12/20/98), I went to church by myself. I was late on purpose because I didn't want to introduce myself to anybody at the church. When I walked into the church, I took a seat that was closest to the door. So that I could leave anytime if I felt uncomfortable. However, Pastor James still "caught" me and welcomed me. As I introduced myself, I said that I came to church just because I was confused about the source of this new power I felt.
When we sang the last worship song, I was very touched and moved by the lyrics. We sang, " I will change your name, you shall no longer be called wounded, outcast, lonely or afraid. I will change your name, your new name shall be confidence, joyfulness, overcoming one, faithfulness, friend of God, one who seeks my Face." As I sang, all the lyrics seemed to jump vividly out from the screen up to my eyes. It’s just like someone was standing in front of me and singing this song to my heart. I had never received such encouragement and comfort in my life before, and I could not stop myself from crying. And then Pastor James had an altar call. He invited those who had any needs to come to the altar for prayer. I was hesitant and afraid at the moment. But suddenly, I heard a very gentle, kind and small voice in my heart, " Go ahead." As I heard this, I thought that I must be having some kinds of hearing problems. But the voice came up again, " Go ahead. " After I heard it for the third time, I knew it was from God and I could not refuse His calling. Therefore, I went up to the altar and accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior and Lord on that day.
Since I received Jesus and invited Him to dwell in my heart, I really love to pray. Everytime I pray, I know that He is with me. I can feel His sweet presence, comfort, and strength in me. Most important of all, I am at peace. I know that He has changed my heart and changed my name. I am no longer called wounded, outcast, lonely or afraid. I am called confidence, joyfulness, overcoming one.
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