Messages /n/ Info:
Crappy Friend


Why Do You Treat Me So Bad?
Why Do I Still Care So Much For You?

I Thought Being There For A Friend In Need Means That
The Favor Would Be Returned When I Was In Need.
But How Could I Be So Fuckin Wrong In This Case.
I Was In Need And You Were Nowhere To Be Found.

I Remember When I Took You To The Hospital Late At
Night And Stayed And Waited For You Til The Morning,
Just To Make Sure You Were Fine. It Didn't Stop There
I Even Took You Home And Took Care Of You As If You
Were My Princess Even Though Not Knowing What You Were
Doing Behind My Back.

I Even Talked To You Because A Friend Said You Were
In Trouble After I Swore To Myself To Keep You Out
Of My Life Forever After The Stuff You Did To Me.

I Was There When Things Were Going Bad For You,
I Took You In, Took Care Of You And Feed You.

I Was There Late At Night When You Didn't Want To Go
Home Drunk And Be Alone, I Was There For You To Hold
As You Went To Sleep Beside Me.

I Was There Early In The Morning For You To Stop
By After A Night Of Crazy Drinkin' And A Place For
You To Crash While I Was Outside Doing An Oil Change
On Your Car 8 O'clock In The Morning When I Could Have
Sleepin' Until Noon.


You're One Of Those Few People In My Life By Just
With Your Presence Could Boost My Mood 3-5 Notches Up


What I Thought Was A Perfect Opportunity For You To
Return Those Desperate Times I Was There For You And
For You To Be There For Me And To Take Care Of Me
Turned Into False Hope.


It Seems To Me Like Every Time We Get Close,
You End Up Running Away
And I Don't Get To Hear From You For The Longest Time
It Seems Like You Are Scared Of Something,
What Are You Scared Of? 


I Was Hurt
I Was In Desperate Need Of Someone To Be There
BUT You Couldn't Even Travel Down The Street To See
How I Was Doing Or How You Could Help Me.


If I Get Into Another Accident Or If Die, I Just
Want You To Stay The Fuck Away From Me In Every Way
Because You'll Just Cause More Misery In My Life
Than I'm Already Going Through Like I Am Right Now ;-(


You Know Who You Are, So Do Me A Favor And Stay The
Fuck Out Of My Life As Long As A Live And Beyond That.

I Thought I Seen It All From You, The Worst And Best,
It Was Truly Sad To See What Kind Of Person You Really
Are.





My Journal Entries:
Tue., Aug. 17:
RANDOM THOUGHTS/FEELINGS

The Saddest And Most Painful Day Of My ENTIRE LIFE

-Fuck Mimi's Cheating, Lying, WHORE Ass. FUCK Her And
FUCK Everyone On Her Side.

-What Am I To Do When The Person Who Can Make Me Stop
Hurting Is The Person Who Hurt Me In The First Place

-The Only Person I Cared For More Than The World, But
I Am Forced Not To Care At All.

-Justin - One Last Cry

- Can't Eat
- Can't Sleep
- Can't Breath
- Can't Believe It

-My World Came Burning Down And I Have To Let It BURN

-Did he touch you better then me (touch you better then me)
Did he watch you fall asleep (watch you fall asleep)
Did you show him all those things that you used to do to me (do to me baby)
If your better off that way (better off that way)
Baby what I like to say (all that I can say)
Go on and do your thing and don't come back to me
(Stay away from me baby)

I don't wanna know where your whereabouts or how you movin
I know when you in the house or when you cruisin
It's been proven, my love you abusin
I can't understand, how a man got you choosin (yeah)
Undecided, I came and provided
My undivided, you came and denied it (why?)
Don't even try it, I know when you lyin (I know when you lyin)
Don't even do that, I know why you cryin (stop cryin)


Wed., Aug. 18:
-Why Don't I Stop When I Need To?

- Am I That Much In Disbelief?

- Why Do I Set Myself Up For Trouble?

- Why Do I Set Myself Up To Get Hurt?

- Why Do I Let Myself Be Treat As Dirt?

- Why Waste My Time, Money, And Effort?

- Why Don't I Get Any Comfort?

- WHY ME!?!






- So Restless

- So Weak

- Can't Be Defeated

- She's Out Of My Life, FOREVER

- SO LOST

- Don't Know What To Believe Anymore

-
MARIO WINANS - You Knew
MARIO WINANS - This Is The Thanks I Get
MARIO WINANS - Should've Known




-Memories Are The Past And That's Where They Should Stay

- No Where To Run
No Where To Hide
So LONELY

- So Much Losted, What's There To Gain From This :-(

- Can't Believe All My Heart, My Mind, My Soul, My Love
My Time, And My Life Has All Been A Waste.

- Don't Know What To Do Anymore

- The Pain Is So Unbearable

- Good Charlotte - HOLD ON

- Can Someone Make The PAIN N HURTING STOP!!!





- Why Do I Go Look For It? What Am I Suppose To Do If I
Don't Find It? And What Am I Suppose Do If I Find It?

- I Couldn't Live A Day Without Hearing Or Seeing It,
But Now I Have To Go Everyday Without It.

- How Can You Give Up So Easily?

- All My Time N Effort Meant Nothing.

- How Long Will This Pain Last..........?


Thu., Aug. 19:
- I Got What I Wanted To See, But Why Do I Still Feel
The Same Way. Why Can't I Let Go?

- I Have To Move On, But HOW?

- Can't Seem To Understand Things...

- Why? How? What? Where? When?

- Just Need To Know Those Things, But I Would Probably
Not Understand.

- I Just Don't Know What To Say Anymore, Don't Know
What To Do Anymore.

- Can I Make It Through This? If So, HOW? WHEN?

- I Thought I Knew, But I Was Terrible WRONG.

- What Kind Of Person Does This?

- I Guess I Didn't Mean That Much

- 7 YEARS ALL GONE.

- Guess You Really Didn't Need Me At All.

- It Was All Lies Like Everything Else.

- What A Fool I Am To Believe It ALL.

- Why Do I Continue On With So Much Hope?

- What Is The Reason Behind All This....

- Time To Put My Pride Aside And Give One Last Cry,
Before I Leave It All Behind......





- Why Do I Keep Lying To Myself

- Why Do I Think Everything Is OKAY When It Is NOT :-(





- Can I Forgive And Forget?

- Should I Forgive And Forget?

- Is There Reason To?




- How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walk away
From all of the memories 
How do I not miss you when you are gone

Taken From merri moo cow Profile


- i love you with all my heart. i want nothin but to be with you.. 

LOVE is pain.PAIN is love.

Taken From pRiNcEsScHeRrY76 Profile





- If You Love Someone, Let Them Go, And If It's Meant
To Be Then They'll Return, But It Isn't Coming Back To Me

- What A Test Gone WRONG :'(




- 112 - Throw It All Away



- What I Am Fighting For?

- Is It Worth A Fight?

- It Is A One-Sided Fight?

- Should I Be Fighting Or Giving It All Up?






Sun., Aug. 22:

"Things Happen For A Reason, SOMETIMES It Take A Life
Time To Understand Why"

Hope It Doesn't Take A Life Time, Hope Rather Sooner
Than Later So I Can Understand Why N Hopefully Move On.


-Reality Is Setting In And I Have To Live With Reality
Rather Than Fantasy. No More Hoping n No More What If's

-Looking Forward To Getting Over It Sooner Than Later.
It's Not Going To Be An Easy Task, But I Must Make It 
Through And Survive.

- It's Not An Easy Task, And Not Any Easier Doing It
By Myself, That's Why I Ask For Help From Whoever And
Wherever. So Who Can Help Me Get Through This???




Sat., Aug. 28:
It's Amazing How A Week's Worth Of Fun Goes Away With
One Day Of Doing NOTHING.
Guess You Don't Know How Bad It Is Til You Are Alone
Sitting Down And Thinking About It.
And It's Pretty BAD...




Sun., Aug. 29:
Smile Empty Soul - With this Knife
...You wrapped your hands tight around my heart
And squeezed it full of pain 

With this knife i'll cut out the part of me 
The part that cares for you
With this knife i'll cut out the heart of me
The heart that cares for you

I can't believe the way you took me down
I never saw the pain
Coming in a million broken miles
Like poison for my veins

The hate and the fear
The nightmares that wake me up...



Wow, Today I Had Gotten The Nighmare Part For The Very
First Time That Woke Me Up And It Was Very Bad... 
This Sucks, It's Wasting My Sleep And I Need SLEEP


Mon., Aug. 30:

Man, It Sucks Being Lonely. Why Does It Happen To Me?
Why Did You Do It To Me? I Don't Deserve It? Or Do I?
MAN, I'm Sooo Lost, Someone Help Me......



Tue., Aug. 31:

Too Bad People Realized All The Good They Had When They
Lose It, And Only Notice The Bad When They Have It.
Well, That's What I Think People Do......Who Knows....
Everyone Is Different..........Just A Thought....


Why Do I Keep Waking Up In The Middle Of The Night,
It's Either @ 3 or 4 Then Again @ 6 or 7, I Go Back To
Sleep Right After, But Why Do I Suddenly Wake Up Out Of
No Where, What Does It All Mean??? I Still Get 8 Hours
Of Sleep Though......It Happen For The Last 3 Days...




Thu., Sep. 2:
Well, It's A New Month, If That Matters Or Anything,
It's Just A Mark To Seperate Different Periods Of The
Year, But If It Does Mean Something New, Hope It Brings
Me Good Stuff And Happiness....

I'm Not Waking Up Out Of Nowhere During The Night
Anymore, Well Just Once Instead Of Twice, Which Is Good
But I Think I Woke Up Today B/C I Was Cold B/C I Was
Sleeping W/O A Blanket So I Woke Up To Cover Myself 
W/ One.

On The Up Side I Have A 5-6 Day Weekend From School...
I Have School Tuesday Night, But It'll Be The First
Day So It'll Be Easy, But On Wednesday I Have A Very
Long Day, From 9am to 10pm... Hope I Don't Fall Behind


Sun., Sep. 5:
Boyz II Men - Doin just Fine

There was a time 
when I thought life was over and out 
When you went away from me 
My dying heart made it hard to breathe 
Would sit in my room 
Because I didn't want to go out 
and see you walking by 
One look and I'd break down and cry 
Now you say that you made a big mistake 
Never meant to take your love away 
But you can save your tired apologies 
Cause it may seem hard to belive but 
Chorus 

I'm doin just fine 
Getting along every well 
without you in my life 
I don't need you in my life 
I'm doin just fine 
Time made me stronger 
you're no longer on my mind 
Verse 2 

You were my earth 
My number one priority 
I gave my love to only you 
Anything you'd ask of me 
I would do 
But somewhere down the road 
You felt a change in the weather 
and told me that you had to journey 
on a kiss in the wind 
and your love was gone 
Now you say you never meant to play your games 
Girl you don't know 
It's far too late 
Because you let our love just fall apart 
You no longer have my heart 
Chorus 

Bridge 

When you said goodbye 
I felt so all alone 
There were time at night I couldn't sleep 
My heart was much too weak to make it on my own 
Baby after all the misery 
and pain you put me through 
So unfair to me girl 
You're no longer my world 
and I ain't missin' you at all 
Chorus 


See baby when you walked away 
You didn't think it would end up this way 
but I knew you'd come around someday 
Just as sure as my name is JOHN...





FRIENDS are like stars.....
You do not ALWAYS SEE them but you know they are always there.

Thanks.....


Sun., Sep. 5:


FRIENDS are like stars . . . . .
You do not ALWAYS SEE them but you know they are always there.

Thanks . . . . .




Fri., Sep. 10:
What's The POINT Anyways?????? :-\



Sat., Sep. 11:
Today Is SEPTEMBER 11th, A Day Of Remembrance, SO REMEMBER...


Back To Me, LOL

Why Do I Feel Like I Need Someone? 
Is It B/C I'm So Used To Having Someone? 
Maybe It Sucks Being Lonely?
Should I Go Out And Look For Someone? 
Or Should I Let The Feeling Pass And Start New? 
Do I Need Someone?
What Do I Need From Them?.....
Who Knows, All These Questions And No Answers . . . . .

I Need To Go Answer Seaching . . . . .



Sun., Sep. 12:
RANDOM STUPID STUFF:

-DAMN Mexican Candy For Having Lead, Now I'm Going To Die
DAMN Myself For Being Addicted To Mexican That I Can't
Stop Eating It, So I'm Going To Die, LOL


-FUCK BLOOP!, It's About BLOP!!!

-Linh Chi IS pooooooooweeeeeeeee, She's In FIRST GRADE

-I'm  mmmm "G" DOUBLE "O" "D" GOOD

-RO Is A GRUMPY FATASS ALCOHOLIC, lol


-MORE TO COME LATER WHEN I THINK/REMEMBER THEM



Mon., Sep. 13:
Nice Quote That I Read.
Everyone Should Read It And Understand It,
It Should Help Out Later In Life.


If you fall in love with another, and he/she falls in
love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not
try to reclaim it or to assess blame, let it go. There
is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in
time. 

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. 

If you find someone else in love with you and you
don't love him/her, feel honored that love came and
called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you
cannot return. Do not take advantage, do not cause
pain. 

If you find yourself in love with someone who does not
love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing
wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the
other person's heart.





On Another Note: I Can't Wait Til It Snows, So I Can Go
SNOWBOARDING. Go Snowboarding To Get Out Of SAN JOSE 
And Do Something FUN......




I DO NOT FUCKIN' UNDERSTAND!!!




What Goes Around, Comes Around...
Believe ME People WILL GET THEIRS


Sun., Sep. 19:
Time Heals All, But DAMN Is Time Going Slow

The Beginning Is The Hardest, The Middle Is Okay, And
The Ending Should Be The Best.

I Want To Know The END And To Be At The END,
To See If It's All Worth It...

Each Day There Is Stuff I Endure That I Should Not Be
Wasting My Time On, But Some Things Are Not That Easy
To Get Rid Off...

Now I Have To Wait N See What's In Store...




Sometimes It Takes A Bad Thing To Happen In Order To
Find A Good Thing/Person...mmm...What Have I Found...HaHa

Sometimes It Takes A Couple Of Closed Doors Before You
Open The Right One To Find What You Are Looking For...



Fri., Sep. 24:
Things I Want To Buy:

Oakley's UNKNOWN Sunglasses - Polished Black Iridium OR Dark Grey: $90-$100
NorthStar/Sierra Season Pass - 2004-05 Double Whammy Limited Season Pass: $249
iRiver MP3 Player - Model H120: $289.95
Honda/SHOEI Helmet - SHOEI RF-1000 RED/BLACK: $409.99




Things I Want To Buy Later On:

 A Brand New Computer: $800-$1000
OR
 A Brand New Laptop: $1500-$2000
N
 Maybe A Digital Camera $400-$500




-I Believe Everyone Knows Between Right n Wrong, What
They Should Do n What They Shouldn't Do. 
I Also Believe Some People Have Made The Wrong Choices
In What To Do, But That's Just My Opinion. My Right May
Be Their Wrong n Vice Versa.

-Some People Say Maybe It's Not Meant To Be, I Say At
Least Try. When It Feels Like It's Not Meant To Be, It
Is A Test On How BAD You Want It, Some People Don't
Want It Bad Enough. Some People Use It As An Excuse Not
To Do Things And Some People Are Scared, But Whatever
The Reason, At Least Try. You Won't Know What Could
Have Happened If You Don't Try. At Least You Know In
The END. . .



Wed., Sep. 29:
So What's New?
- Had Some Wahoo Tacos Yesterday...mmm Good
-My Mirrors Came In Today, They Are Look Pretty Good.
-My Oakley's Sunglasses Should Be Coming In Tomorrow
-Almost Brought My SNOWBOARDING Season Pass, Can't To Go :-p
-I Brought A Cute Perfect Little Mouse For My Bros Laptop That I Use.

That's It For Now, Tune In Later For More...


Mon., Oct. 4:
What's Been Going On???

Sept. 27 - Bought A "CUTE" Laptop Mouse. PICTURES

Sept. 28 - My Motorcycle Mirrors Came In. PICTURES

Sept. 29 - Don't Think Anything Happen Today

Sept. 30 - Finally Washed My 2004 Red/Black CBR600
F4i For The First Time EVER. Second Time It's Been
Washed. The First Time Was When I Did My Oil Change N
Honda Of Milpitas Washed It After. PICTURES

Oct. 1 - My Oakley UNKNOW SunGlasses Came In PICTURES

Oct. 2 - Ate @ Krung Thai. Thai Food Is Pretty GOOD,
Specially When It's SPICY (Medium Hot). Then Went To
Wal-Mart n Krispy Creme In Union City.

Oct. 3 - Fun CHAT ROOM Talk.

Oct. 4 - School. Home. Ride To Tram's n Nga's House.

Here's A Random Picture Of Tram n Her Mom, LOL


WOW, It's October Already, You Know What That Means, 
It's Closer To SNOWBOARDING SEASON, YAY!

On A Side Note, I'm Riding Fast n Crazy Including
Cutting People Off B/C Minh Sent Me Videos Of
Motorcycle Accidents Including A Guy Braking Too Hard
And Flying Over His Bike, A Honda F4i Bike Hitting A
Deer That Jumped Out Of Nowhere, And Lastly A Girl
Falling Off The Back Of A Bike B/C The Guy Landed A
Wheelie Pretty Hard.

Even Through All That, I'm Gonna Learn How To Do Wheelies :-p


Fri., Oct. 8:
Sometimes You Just Gotta HATE, You Don't Want To, But
You Just Have Too :-(



Tue., Oct. 12:

Oct. 5 - Had A Picnic @ Ro's Work w/ Tram, Joy, n
Linh Chi. And Found Out When Buying The Stuff, That
Strawberry Jam Cost A Lot, More Than The Other Jams.

Oct. 12 - Fell Asleep For 2 Hours n Did It Fuck Me Up,
Don't Know Why I Was Tired B/C I Slept About 10 Hours
That Day, Maybe B/C I Just Ate. Well After I Woke Up
From My Terrible Nap, I Went To The Bank n Missed The
Cut-Off Time For The Same-Day Deposit By 1 Minute, So
It Won't Go Through Til Tomorrow. After The Bank I
Went To Wal-Mart Where I Bought The Good Charlotte:
The Chronicles Of Life And Death n Usher: Confession
Special Edition Albums
I Went To The Bank n Wal-Mart n Back Home In 30
Minutes, I Think That Was Pretty Fast.

Fri., Oct. 15:
Sometimes Music Is Best Not Being Played Loud On Big
Speakers, But Played Loud Through Earphones. It's More
Personal n You Get Into The Music Easier.



Sun., Oct. 17:
Looks Like Everyone Love Rainy Weather For Some Reason
And I'm One Of Them
Rainy Weather = DRIVING FAST, WOO HOO!

Man, I Just Washed My Car Two Days Ago Too, But My Hood
Looks New B/C That's The Only Part I Waxed On My Car:-)


FRIENDS, You Gotta Love Them

Man, My Bike Is FUCKED Up, Fuck Man, Stupid A-S-S-H-O-L-E LoL

Britney Spears Looks Innocently Hot In The "Sometimes"
Video, But Now She Is Just FUCKIN' HOT, lol

UPDATED: Speed Dial On My Phone
#2 Tram w/ TRAPT - Echo
#3 Rowena w/Britney Spears - Everytime
#8 JOYCELYN w/Mario Winans - I Don't Wanna Know

Untaken/Unused Ring Tones:
Alicia Keys - If I Ain't Got You
Usher w/Alicia Keys - My Boo

Mon., Nov. 15:

Wow, Long Time, No Update, So Here Ya Go:

My Recent Feelings N Thoughts Are That I Want To Spend
A Whole Day At Home Listening To Music All Day, Slow
Jams N R&B Music, So I Can Reminisce N Think About
Things, A Time To Just Get Away From Everything N Relax

I Tried This Past Week, But It Hasn't Happen, But
That's Okay. Maybe This Week I Can Do It, But I Doubt
It, So I Will Have To See.....

Well Stayed Tune, There's More To Come... Maybe...



EXTRA! EXTRA!
OMG, Today I Ate Cereal W/ Milk That Expired 11 Days
Ago, I Had To Eat, I Was Hungry, Hope I Don't Get Sick :-(
But Hey It Was Better Than The Milk That Was Expired 15
Days Ago, :-p HaHa


Mon., Nov. 29:
Written On November 22, 2004

Random Thoughts And Feelings
Like Newton’s 3rd Law Of Motion, For Every Action
There Is An Equal And Opposite Reaction, Or What Goes
Up Must Come Down And This Is My Down

I Feel Like I Am On The Verge Of An Emotional Break
Down, I Am So Close To That Edge.

Last Sunday I Seen My Grandmother And Uncle Along With
His Wife And Kid (My Cousin) That I Have Not Seen For
6-7 Years. It Was Really Nice Seeing Them After So
Long Even Though They Came By To Talk About Some
Business With My Parents.

I Believe Everyone Should Have Close Family And
Friends Especially Me, With The Things That I Am Going
Through.


Cool Old School Slow Jams/R&B Songs:

4xample - I’d Rather Be Alone
Usher - You Make Me Wanna
Babyface - What If
Jagged Edge - Goodbye
Brandy - (Everything I Do) I Do It For You


Mon., Dec. 13:
-My Christmas List . . ?
Ummmm... Not Yet, Sorry Guys N Gals. 

-I Am Seriously Thinking About Making One, 
Since You Guys Suck At Picking Gifts, HaHa J/K.

-When I Have Time, I Will Make One To Make Your Lives Easier

SO CHECK BACK LATER


Tue., Dec. 14:
Sorry, No Christmas List Yet.
I Got My First Ever Cast Today And It's Red


Wed., Dec. 15:

Only One Day With My Cast And It Fuckin' Bothers Me 
Already. I Can't Do Shit, Or Doing It Slowly.

I Can Still Ride A Motorcycle, Riding Is Fun And
Relieves Some Stress.


Thu., Dec. 15:
My Christmas List:

I'm Working On It :-p


Fri., Dec. 16:
Sorry I Quit On My Christmas List B/C It Was A Lot Of 
Work And Could  Not Do It B/C My Cast Was Bothering
The Heck Out Of Me, Maybe Tomorrow . . . 


Sat., Dec. 17:
My Christmas List:
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Haha, Gotta Fill In The Blanks Soon



Sun., Dec. 26:
Sorry, But No Christmas List, LoL, But It's Too Late
Now Anyways. Maybe Next Year :-p



My Reno-Lake Tahoe Trip:

Highlights:
-Got To Reno In 4 Hours Despite Heavy Traffic From 
I-580 To I-80.

-Northstar Is Only 20 Minutes (My Driving Of Course)
From The Hotel 

-I Got To Gamble
Day 1: -$240
Day 2: +$400
Day 3: -$220
Overall: -$60, Not Too Bad, Lots Of Fun Though

-Free Drinks Excluding Tip
(2) Strawberry Margaritas
(1) Long Island
(1) Screw Driver
(1) Corona
(1) Coffee (Needed It To Drive Home)

-Ate Some PAD THAI

-Got To Snowboard. 6 Full Runs (From Top To Bottom) In 1 1/2 Hours

-Drove Home In The Rain With Using The Windshield
Wipers Only Once And That Was Before I Found Out The
Wipers SUCK, So I Stopped Using It


And Of Course The
DOWNSIDE:

-Took 5 Hours To Get Home, One More Hour Than It Should
B/C Of The Following:

*If My 4Runner Can Make A Turn @ 90 MPH, So Can Your
Camry, Jetta, Baja Or WhatEver The Fuck You Drive. If
Not Get Out Of My Way And Go Learn How To Drive.

*Going 70 MPH On A Flat Surface And Going 70 MPH Down
Hill Has No DIFFERENCE And Is The Same Thing, It Is
Both 70 MPH. So Quit Wasting My Brakes Or I'll Cut You
Off And Waste Yours.

*Do Not Impede Traffic, It Is Against The Law. If You
Are In The Left Lane And There Is No One In Front Of
You And 20 Cars Behind You, That Is Impeding Traffic.
Please Get The FUCK Out Of The Way. I Do Not Give A
Fuck How Fast You Are Going, Apparently There Are At
Least 20 People Willing To Go Faster Than You And Is
The Reason They Are Up Your Ass Tailgating.

*Addition To The One Above. There Are Signs On The Road
That Says "SLOWER Traffic Keep Right" Everyone Should
Read It And Follow It Then There Should Be Less Traffic
And Is My Suggestion To Have That Sign Every Mile For
The Stupid FUCKS That Think The Own The Fast (Left)
Lane When They Belong In The Slow Right Lanes.

*When It Rains It Does Not Mean The Speed Limit Reduces
20 MPH To 45 MPH. Drive The Speed Limit Or Faster But
Just Give Yourself Extra Room To Brake And For Whatever
Else. If The Rain Scares You Then You Should NOT Be
Driving, Get The FUCK Off The Road Until It Dries Up Or
Something, But Do NOT Slow Down People That Can Drive
In The Rain Unlike Your Scared ASS.


In Addition To Driving Home Being The Downside Of The
Trip, It Is Not Being Able To Share It With My Friends.
It Was A Very Fun Trip And We Should All Do Once When
We Are All 21.



Other Trip Notes:

-I Did Not Even Once Get Asked For My ID When Gambling

-My Parents Asked If I Was Going To Gamble And Let Me
When I Did And Even Encouraged It A Little.

-When I First Started Playing, I Started Losing Then My
Dad Comes To Play With Me And He Starts To Win While I
Still Continue To Lose My Money Then He Just Leaves
Just As I Lose My $140, But Gives Me $100 Just Before
He Leaves For Me To Play That I End Up Losing On The
First Night.

-My Dad Seen Me Drink A Strawberry Margarita And The
Corona And Did Not Say Anything. ;-D

-As I Was Playing, A Guy Walks By And Decides To Play
And The Dealer Asks For His ID, This Is The First Time
I Seen Someone Ask For ID And It Got Me Scared For A
Bit. The Guy Complains That Everyone Is Asking For His
ID, I Thought The Guy Just Turned 21, But He Ended Up
Being 23 And There I Am Only 20, LOL. I Guess I Look
Like A Real Man, HaHa.

------------------------------------------------------

I Have Realized I Went Snowboarding Every Week For The
Last 5 Weeks And Will Be 6 When I This Wednesday And A
Total Of 7 Total. Damn, That Must Be A Record Or
Something, HaHa

First Time:
Oct. 30 - With Minh, His Brother, David, Tram,
Rowena, And Jocelyn

In A Row:
1. Nov. 24 - With Tram
2. Dec. 4 - Solo - When I Hurt My WRIST :-(
3. Dec. 11 - With Minh, His Brother, Tram, Rowena
4. Dec. 18 - With Tram & Binh
5. Dec. 25 - With Family
6. Dec. 29 - With ????????


Mon., Dec. 27:
Additional Trip Notes:

-All Old People Order MILK For Some Reason. Isn't It
Too Late For Their Bones To Get Stronger?

-I Finally Had A Sunday Off Even Though It Was A Trip
And I Was In Reno.

-I Got To Watch A Morning Football Game. The Colts Beat
The Chargers In An Exciting 4 Quarter And Over Time





Tue., Jan. 11:

I Had A Good And Fun Day Today

My Day Started Going To Jury Duty @ 9am @ The Downtown
Superior Court. After Checking In We Went To The Jury
Assembly Room Then After 20 Minutes In There We Were
Sent To The Hall Of Justice Because They Were Short
Jurors. After Checking In At The Hall Of Justice, We
Were Escorted To Department 49 Courtroom Where The
Honorable Judge Sharon Chatman Is Presiding. We Had A
Roll Call Then 18 Of The 60 From Our Panel, Panel 9,
Were Chosen To Sit In The Jury Box. (12 In The Box And
6 In Front As Alternates When The 12 Gets Excused)


I Was Lucky Juror # 11 And Got To Sit In The Jury Box, Woohoo!


The Judge Was Making Jokes That Were Funny


A Juror Was Sort Of Stupid Funny. She Does Not Trust
Anyone. 
-Not Used Car Salesmen (Most People Don’t Either), 
-Nuns (Most People Do, She Doesn’t Because Of The
Priest Scandal And Them Being Prettifies), 
-Doctors (Most People Do Here Too, But She Doesn’t
Because Doctors Are Out To Make Money Off Of Expensive
Surgeries And Endorsing Certain Medicine),
-And Lastly She Doesn’t Trust Police Officers (Again
Most People Do And She Doesn’t Because They Are Out To
Make Quotas On Giving Tickets)


After Being Chosen To Sit In As A Potential Juror And
Some Questions, We Were Let Go For Lunch @ 12pm Until
1:30pm. I Went To Work To Eat Lunch And Tell My Dad I
Went To Jury Duty Because He Probably Wondering Why I
Didn’t Go In For Work Today (I Thought I Would Be Done
@ 10am Because I Thought I Would Tell Them I’m Leaving
This Week To So-Cal And I Would Be Excused). 


When I Was Eating Lunch, My Snowboard Racks Came In:
Thule #726 Deluxe Pull Top 6pr Ski Carrier $136 (MSRP
$175 Was $170) 
Thule FM-1 Fat Mouth Clamps $28 (MSRP $35)
Thule 544 - Lock Cylinders (4pk) $32 (MSRP $40)
Total $196.00 (No Tax And Free Shipping, What A Deal
Huh? ;-P)


Then I Finally Told My Dad I Was Going To L.A. And
S.D. This Weekend.


After Lunch And Getting My Snowboard Racks, I Stopped
By Minh’s Work To Give Him Two Locks For His Racks
(That Is Why I Got A 4pk When I Only Needed Two). Then
Headed Back To Jury Duty Because Part Of The Court
Order Given To Us Was Be Back In The Jury Assembly
Room By 1:30pm Or Be In Contempt Of Court And Be In
Jail For 24 Hours, So I Rush My Ass Over There. I
Barely Get There @ 1:30pm But Our Panel Was Not Even
Called Until 1:50pm, So Was Speeding And Running Over
There For Nothing, Damn It Man. Now, Back Into The
Courtroom And More Questions From The Judge And
Counsels, It Was Time For Them To Excuse Jurors For
Whatever Reason.


I Was The First One To Be Excused Because Of
My “Strict Hardship” Which Is My Leisure Weekend Trip
To Southern California, Lol. 


And There Was This Lady Who Owns Two Curves Businesses
And Said She Had To Be There To Watch Her Employees
And Satisfy Her Members And I Don’t Think She Got
Excused For That, Too Bad ;-) 


So I Went Home And Fixed The Nail In My Brother’s Tire
And Profited $10 In Doing It.


After Fixing My Bro’s Tire, I Got To Ride My
Motorcycle Around After Wanting To For So Long, It Was
A Blast Of Fun.




It Was Pretty Fun And Exciting Day For Me:

Had Fun @ Jury Duty (Too Bad I Have To Leave ThisWeekend And Not Be A Juror)
My Snowboard Racks Came In.
Told My Dad I Am Going To Southern California.
Was Excused From Jury Duty.
Made $10 For Fixing Bro’s Tire.
Got To Ride My Motorcycle After 3 Weeks Of Rain.


Now It’s Only A Little Over A Day Until The Trip Down
South, WOOHOO!








Fri., Mar. 4:

Realization:

I have Been Too Damaged; Feels Like The Cuts Are Too
Deep

I Have Learned How To Cherish And Embrace, But Also
Feel That I Lost All Hope


With Realization Comes Revitalization . . . . 




3/3 - Got Scores Of 172, 127, 116 In My First Games
Back From Bowling And Winning 4 Fuddfuckers Burgers,
But Losing One Original Jamba Juice
3/4 - Finally Got My Strawberry Tsunami :-P
& Avocado Shake W/ Pearls :-P



Sun., Mar. 6:

3/6 - Rode Today And Boy Were The Bikers Out Today.
Anywhere From Singles, Twos, To Groups Of EIGHT. There
Were Even GIRLS RIDING Their Own Bikes. Riding 600CCs!!! 
Riding F4is Matter Of Fact. So *ahem* *ahem* Jocelyn,
Kristine And Rowena, Where My Girls At? LoLz :-D
Am I Missing Anyone Else???



Mon., Mar. 15:
Today's Recap

- 100% On Midterm
- Audio/MP3 Shipment Came ($204.99)
- Fuddruckers: Cajun Chicken Meal, It Was Juicy
Kinda Expensive And It Didn't Fill Me Up ($11)
- Arena Parking ($13)
- Arena Pepperoni Pizza: Told Ya It Didn't Fill Me Up (7.50)
- Cabo Wabo Tequila, Pretty Good ($9)
- Warriors vs Rockets: A Good Game Until The Warriors
Lost At The Last Second Shot ($21)


Wed., Mar. 16:
@0339


People Can Forgive, But Can NEVER Forget.

-John


Tue., Mar. 22:

3/21 - MY LIFE SUCKS ;-(

Wow, It's Weird Being Online After Not Being Online For A Week.


I NEED TO MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE, SOMEONE HELP!!!

WHY IS IT SO HARD



Wed., Mar. 23:

The Word Is "Progression"









Wed., Apr. 27 :

Quotes/Sayings/Thoughts:

"Some People Are Just FUCKIN' WEAK"

"How Can I Help You When I Can't Even Help Myself"

"Don't Judge Me, Get To Know Me"



Old School R&B Songs:

BOYZ II MEN - 4 Seasons of Loneliness

...Life's empty without you by my side 
My heart belongs to you 
No matter what I try 

When I get courage up to love somebody new 
It always falls apart cause they just 
Can't compare to you 
Your love won't release me 
I'm bound under ball and chain 
Reminiscing our love as I watch four season's change ...

...Remember the nights when we closed our eyes 
And vowed that you and I would be in love for all time 
Anytime I think about these things is shared with you 
I break down and cry cause I get so emotional 
Until you release me I'm bound under ball and chain 
Reminiscing our love as I watch four seasons change...

...This loneliness 
Has crushed my heart 
Please let me love again 
Cause I need your love to comfort me and ease my pain 
Or four seasons will bring the loneliness again...




Boyz II Men – Can’t Let Her Go

...First time I saw her,
Thought that I would lose my mind.
Just had to have her,
And I had to have her (all mine).
The way you make me feel,
Is like no other feeling I have ever had before.
You give the kind of lovin',
Make a brother wanna come for more and more,
She's the one I adore...




Boyz II Men – Human II (Don’t Turn Your Back On Me)

I know this was my fault but,
How much should it cost,
To make things right.
Do I have to pay for life?
We all fall short sometimes,
And I'm guilty of that crime,
But I just wanna make you see that,
You can still believe in me...

...No I can't erase the wrong I've done,
But I hope you can give me another chance...




Boyz II Men - Never

...Never, never let a broken heart,
Take a chance for love away.
Don't never let it make you fall apart.
Never, never ever let the pain,
Take your need for love away, never, no never.

And I know it seems hard,
Open up, let down your guards.
But you owe it to your heart to try again.
Oh comes the time when we must change...




Boyz II Men – Oh Well

Since you've been gone I've been lonely
Longing to be with you only
Maybe there's still is a way I can find you and say
Just how I feel...

...Oh Well, there's still tomorrow
Oh Well, I'll try again
Oh Well, maybe just maybe...




Boyz II Men – I Sit Away

...And if you could see inside my heart 
You would see loneliness 
And if I could show you my mind 
You would be depressed...

...Said I sit away lonely 
And I get away only in my mind 
Said I sit away lonely 
And I get away sometimes 

So I'll gather my things 
And be on my way 
Into my lonely place 
Said I'm feelin' lonely and lonesome 
And I just need to get away 
And if you could know what I'm afraid of 
You would be frightened 
And if you could feel the pain that 
I'm feelin' 
Then you would know why, I...




Boyz II Men – On Bended Knee

...Girl it's drivin' me insane
And I know I just need one more chance
To prove my love to you
If you come back to me
I'll guarantee
That I'll never let you go...

...Oh God give me a reason
I'm down on bended knee
I'll never walk again until you come back to me
I'm down on bended knee

So many nights I dream of you
Holding my pillow tight
I know I don't need to be alone
When I open up my eyes
To face reality
Every moment without you
It seems like eternity
I'm begging you, begging you come back to me...

...I want a new life
And I want it with you
If you feel the same
Don't ever let it go
You gotta believe in the spirit of love
It can heal all things
We won't hurt any more
No I don't believe our love's terminal
I'm down on my knees begging you please
Come home...

...Wanna build a new life
Just you and me
Gonna make you my wife
Raise a family...




Boyz II Men – Water Runs Dry

...Let's not wait till the water runs dry
We might watch our whole lives pass us by
Let's not wait till the water runs dry
We'll make the biggest mistake of our lives
Don't do it, baby...

...Now..Now they can see the tears in our eyes
But we deny the pain that lies
Deep in our hearts
Well maybe that's a pain we can't hide...




Boyz II Men – Please Don’t Go Away

Hey baby I'm sorry 
I never meant to hurt you 
Please don't go 
Slowly my eyes began to see 
That I need you near right with me at all times, yeah 
My feelings are so deep for you 
That I won't let go, oooh no, of you...




Boyz II Men – I Miss You

I’ve been feeling this emptiness for some time
Try and make it do 
But my world has been so crazy 
Living without you
Now I’m a man and not ashamed to admit my faults 
Now that I know
But the only thing that matters now
That I should never let you go
So every night before I go to sleep
I pray
That the Lord would one day somehow 
Send you back my way...

...Baby I miss you (miss you baby)
I need to b back in your arms (need you baby)
I never stopped loving you (oh woow)
My heart is where you belong (my heart is where you belong)
Baby I miss you (I I)
Before heaven and earth pass away
Lord please show me what 2 do
Tell me what to Say (I miss you)
Cuz were come too far to let it slip away
Baby I miss you...




98 DEGREES - Because Of You

You're my sunshine after the rain
You're the cure against my fear and my pain
'Cause I'm losing my mind when you're not around
It's all (It's all)
It's all because of you
You're my sunshine, oh yeah...




112 - Crazy Over You

I fell in love with you,
T'was like a dream come true
And my love for you will never end oh no
Was such a special night
You lay right by my side
And I told you things I never told a soul...


...A love that never ends
You're more than just a friend
And my heart and soul I'll always give to you,
The only in my life 
Someday you'll be my wife,
And I'll be with you until the end of time...




112 - For Awhile

Living my life without you
Something I don't wanna do
So please don't walk away
And leave me all alone...




112 - Stay With Me

...Look at me girl, I can't believe
This feeling is more than a crush on you
And I can tell by the way you smile
You feel the same and we're both more than friends...




BACKSTREET BOYS - Get Down (You're The One For Me)

You're the one for me
You're my ecstasy
You're the one I need...

...I feel in heaven when I look in your eyes
I know that you are the one for me (one for me)
You drive me crazy cuz
You're one of a kind
I want your lovin'...




Backstreet Boys – Like A Child

If I could right the wrongs that made you cry
I make a promise not to say good-night
Cuz I’m holding on
With a love so strong
And I can’t take a day without you by my side...

...I hope you understand
There’s a broken heart that lies inside your hands...




BACKSTREET BOYS - Back To Your Heart

It's not that I can't live without you
It's just that I don't even want to try
Every night I dream about you
Ever since the day we said goodbye
If I wasn't such a fool
Right now I'd be holding you
There's nothin' that I wouldn't do
Baby if I only knew...

...The words to say
The road to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do
To get to you
And find a way back to your heart...

...I turn back time
To make you mine
And find a way back to your heart
I beg and plead
Fall to my knees
To find a way back to your heart...




JESSE MCCARTNEY - Beautiful Soul

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste 
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase 
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste 
I want you and your beautiful soul...

...I know that you are something special...




JESSE McCARTNEY - She's No You

They got a lotta girls
Who know they got it going on
But nothing's ever a comparison to you
Now can't you see that your the only one I really want
And everything I need...


...She's no you... oh, no
You give me more than I could ever want
She's no you...




'N SYNC - Selfish

...You can call me selfish 
But all I want is your love
You can call me hopeless (hopeless)
Cause I'm hopelessly in love 
You can call me unperfect 
But who's perfect? 
Tell me what do I gotta do 
To prove that I'm the only one for you...

...Why do you keep us apart 
Why won't you give up your heart 
You know that we're meant to be together 
Why do you push me away 
All that I want is to give you love
Forever and ever and ever and ever...




'N SYNC - Something Like You

So many times I thought I held it in my hands
but just like grains of sand
love slipped through my fingers
so many nights I asked the Lord above 
Please make me lucky enough to find a love that lingers
Something keeps telling me that you could be my answered prayer
you must be heaven sent, I swear...




'N SYNC - I'll Be Good For You

...I'll be good for you
I ain't gonna take my love away
And I will love you more girl every day
I'll be good for you (yeah)
Baby girl it's plain to see, 
That our love was meant to be...




'N SYNC - That's When I'll Stop Loving You

When winter comes in summer
When theres no love forever
Yeah, that's when I'll stop loving you...




'N SYNC - God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You

...Your love is like a river
Peaceful and deep
Your soul is like a secret
That I never could keep
When I look into your eyes
I know that it's true
God must have spent...
A little more time
On you...
(A little more time, yes he did baby)

In all of creation
All things great and small
You are the one that surpasses them all
More precious than
Any diamond or pearl...




N Sync - I Drive Myself Crazy 

ooooh....
Lying in your arms
So close together
Didn't know just what I had
Now I toss and turn
Cause I'm without you 
How I'm missing you so bad
Where was my head?
Where was my heart?
Now I cry alone in the dark 
I lie awake
I drive myself crazy 
Drive myself crazy
Thinking of you
Made a mistake
When I let you go baby 
I drive myself crazy
Wanting you the way that I do (wanting you the way that I do)

I was such a fool
I couldn't see it
Just how good you were to me (Just how good you were to me)

You confessed your love ( You confessed your love)
Undying devotion
I confessed my need to be free
And now I'm left
With all this pain 
I've only got myself to blame

I lie awake
I drive myself crazy 
Drive myself crazy
Thinking of you
Made a mistake
When I let you go baby 
I drive myself crazy
Wanting you the way that I do (wanting you the way that I do)

Why didn't I know it
(How much I loved you baby)
Why couldn't show it
(If I had only told you)
When I had the chance
Oh I had the chance 

oohhhhhh....la la la la la la
I drive myself crazy'
ahhh..oh so crazy
lalalalala...oh oh oh oh
I lie awake
I drive myself crazy 
Drive myself crazy
Thinking of you
Made a mistake (made a mistake)
Let you go baby 
I drive myself crazy
Wanting you the way that I do 

I lie awake
I drive myself crazy (I drive myself crazy, crazy, crazy...yeah)

Drive myself crazy
Made a mistake
Let you go baby 
I drive myself crazy
Wanting you the way that I do
I drive myself crazy 
wanting you the way that I do




Brandy ---Sittin' Up In My Room 

Seems like ever since, the first day we met 
There is no one else I think of more than you 
Can't seem to forget, can't get you out my head 
Cause the verdicts in I'm crazy over you...

...Be sittin up in my room 
Back here thinkin bout you 
I must confess, I'm a mess for you...




BRANDY - Have You Ever?

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand...




Usher - My Boo 

There's always that one person
That will always have your heart...

...Know that you're that one for me
It's clear for you to see
Ooh baby ooh you'll always be my boo...




Fri., Apr. 29 :
New Toys

  
 




Thu., May 5 :
SWV - Weak

I don't know what it is that you've done to me...
but it's caused me to act in such a crazy way.
Whatever it is that you do when you do what you're doing...
it's a feeling I don't understand.

'Cause my heart starts beating triple time,
with thoughts of loving you on my mind.
I can't figure out just what to do,
when the cause and cure is you.

I get so weak in the knees I can hardly speak.
I lose all control and something takes over me.
In a daze and it's so amazing, it's not a PHASE.
I want you to stay with me, by my side.
I swallow my pride, your love is so sweet.
It knocks me right off of my feet.
I can't explain why your loving makes me weak

It's Time after time after time I've tried to fight it.
But your love is strong it keeps on holding on.
Resistance is down when you're around, starts fading.
In my condition I don't want to be alone.

I try hard to fight it.
No way can I deny it.
Your love's so sweet.
It knocks me off my feet

I get so weak...
Blood starts racing through my veins
I get so weak...
GIRL it's something I can't explain.
I get so weak...
Something 'bout the way you do
the things you do ooh ooh, it...
knocks me right off of my feet,
off of my feet.
Can't explain why your loving makes me weak.




Mon., May 16 :
Akon - Lonely

...Cant belive I hadda girl like you and I just let
you walk right outta my life, after all I put u thru u
still stuck
Around and stayed by my side, what really hurt me is I
broke ur heart, baby you were a good girl and I had no
right, I
Really wanna make things right, cuz without u in my
life girl

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody to call my own)
To call my own (to call my own) girl...






Thu., May 19 :
Frankie J. - How To Deal

Sometimes a man has to choose
And do something he doesn't wanna do
Do I live my life with you as my wife...

...How do you cope when
The one you love is with somebody else
And there's nothing you could do about it
How do I deal with 
The fact that you had a chance...
...I gotta take it though it's heartbreakin'...
...But nobody said that it would hurt so bad
So how do I live...how do I deal without you

It's killing me to know 
That your heart hurts with me
But you're with him cause I chose...








Sat., Jun. 4 :
Well By Now Most Of You Guys Know That I Got Into A 
Motorcycle Accident This Past Weekend And If You
Didn't, You Do Now :0p

And Now That I Have So Lots Time On My Hands, In Which
I Do Need Dearly B/C Everything I Do Now Takes 10x 
Longer To Since I Fractured My Ankle Along With My Knee
Cap Into A Couple Of Pieces On My Left Leg. Also Hurt
In The Accident Are My Both My Left Wrist And The Tip
Of My Middle Finger On My Hand. 
(There Are Technical Terms For What I Broke, But I
Just Don't Know Them Right Now)

But Back What I Meant To Say, With Lots Of Time Of My
Hands At Home Healing I Might As Well As Journalize
My First Experience Of A Major Accident Which Is Not
Going So Well, It's Very Depressing :-( 

This Is The First Time I Really Hurt Myself B/C I'm
A Person That Hates To Get Hurt In Any Way Whether
It Be Physically, Mentally, Or Emotionally Therefore
I Don't Normally Do Anything Stupid That I Don't Know
How To Do That Might Hurt Myself.

Here's A Re-Cap Of Some Thoughts That Been Going
Through My Head Since My Accident Then After I'll
Put A Timeline Of Sorts Of What Happen Each Day.


Thoughts:

-It Hurts Every Time I Walk And With Every Step I 
Take Wanna Stop And Cry Because Of The Pain And
Because Of The Thoughts Of What Happened To Me
Going Through My Head.

-Sometimes I Just Rather Be Dead Than Go Through
The Pain I'm Going Through.

-Being In The Hospital Sucks, Yes You Don't
Have To Do Anything But At The Same Time You Can't
Do Anything Because You're Hurt Or There's Nothing
For You To Do But Just Lay There On The Bed.

-Even Though Being Home Is Supposed To Be Better
Than The Hospital Just Because Its Home. I Wasn't 
At First, I Was More Depressed While At Home Than
When I Was At The Hospital. I Even Thought About
Going Back To The Hospital To Do My Recovery. I
Do Have My Own TV, Bed, And Computer At Home, But
For Some Reason I Felt More Alone Here Than The
Hospital. After A Couple Of Days Things Start To
Pick Up For The Better And I Hope It Continues 
That Way.

-I Didn't Have Bodily Movement (Shit) For 5
Whole Days.

-Valley Medical Center Has Great Service From
Their Staff, But It Seems Like They Don't Know
What They Are Doing. While Kaiser Is Just The
Opposite They Know What They Are Doing, But The
Staff Isn't All That Great To Their Patients
Except Two Nurses In Particular, Natlie And Kristine.
They Were Great Friendly Nurses, Thanks Hope I 
Get You Gals Again If I Get Hurt.

-Being Hurt And Practically Disable Sucks Ass
And Can Send You Into Depression And Loneliness,
So If Any Of You Guys Get Hurt Give Me A Call
And I'll Be There For You Because I Know How
You Feel And What You Are Going Through.





Timeline:

Saturday, May 28, 2005

2030 - A Collision Involving Me And Another Motorcyclist
Traveling In The Opposite Direction On Bailey Ave That
Knocks Both Of Us Off Our Bikes And Onto The Road.
Cesar Comes A Minutes Later And Realizes It's Me That Is
Laying In The Middle Of The Road And Drags Me Off To The
Side And Call 911.


2100-2300
The Firefighters Came And Rip Off All My Clothes Except 
For My Underpants To See My Built Body And Big Manhood Bulging
Underneath My Underpants.
Ambulance Comes And Takes Me To Valley Medical Center Even
Though Kaiser Is Closer, Which We Pass On The Way To Valley
Not To Add That My Insurance Is With Kaiser.
Arrive At Hospital Way Later Because We Were Just Cruising At
The Speed Limit The Whole Way There.
Hospital Lays Me Down On A Table And Checks My Whole Body From
Head To Toe In Case There Are Any Other Injuries.
They Clean Me Up A Bit And Gave Me Some Shots To Relieve Pain.
The Roll Me Into A Temp Room While I Wait For Surgery.


2300-2359
As I Lay There With My Knee And Ankle Bleeding, I Get To Talk
To My Dad, But Not My Mom Because She Ran Away Crying As She
Was About To Walk In But Seen My Left Leg Messed Up And 
Couldn't Stand The Sight Of It.
My Dad And I Talked About What Happened, What's Going Happen,
And Other Stuff.
Cesar Comes In To See How I Was Doing And We Chat For A Bit
Until He Couldn't Stay Being In The Room Anymore Because He
Was Getting A Vomit Feeling In His Stomach.


Sunday, May 29, 2005
0000-0100
Still Waiting To Get Into The OR (Operating Room) As My
Leg Still Drips Blood.

0100-0130
Still Waiting...

0130-0430
Doctors Clean, Patch, And Cast Me Up

0430-1000
Sleep Finally, If You Don't Count When They Knocked
Me Out For Surgery.

1000-1830
Mom, Cesar, An, Cavlin, Minh, N Tu Visits In The Morning
Mom, Dad, N Lil Bro Visits In The Evening

1830-1930
Got Transferred To Kaiser Hospital B/C Kaiser Want
Their Patients And Don't Want To Pay Someone Else
To Take Care Of Me.

1930-2359
Watch Tv, Suffering Through The Pain B/C I Didn't
Have A Pain Injector Pump Yet, Sleep Etc.


Monday, May 30, 2005
After The Doctor Checks Me Out In The Morning He
Suggests The I Should Go Back Into The OR For A 
Cleaning So I Won't Get A Infection. The Operation
Takes About An Hour And When I Get Back Tram N Rowena
Are There For Visit Me With A Card, Gatorade, Long John
Doughnut, Happy Face Cookie And Balloon. Thanks!

I Also Got My Pain Reliever Pump After The OR, Woohoo!

In The Afternoon My Older Bro Finally Visits Me, Two Day
After My Accident, Sheesh, That Guy.

In The Evening An N Cesar Stops By For A Bit Before My
Parents And Lil Bro. When My Family Leaves, An N Cesar
Return On Their Bikes. (That's Where They Went While 
My Parents Were Visiting)


Tuesday, May 31, 2005
0130-0300
I Get A Late Night Buzzed/Drunk Visitor That Even Though 
Not Much Was Said That Made My Day B/C This Person Was
Laying Down Sleeping/Sobering Up. This Person Later
Turned Out To Be Someone I Wished I Never Had Contact
With During My Injury And Hospital Stay And Even Now.
 
In The Afternoon Tram, Brian, Gino, And Gino's Friend
Came To Visit For A Bit.

In The Evening Jocelyn Finally Visits Me B/C She Fell
Asleep The Day Before, Sheesh Shows How Much I Mean
To You. Later On Jay N An Stops By For A Bit But Leave
Upon My Parents N Lil Bros Arrival. Cesar N Minh Were
Supposed To Be On Their Way Too, Sorry You Guys Couldn't
Make It On Time.


Wednesday, June 1, 2005
I Finally Get To Go Home After 4 Days In The Hospital.

Tram, Rowena, And Jocelyn Visits In The Afternoon


Thursday, June 2, 2005
Tu Comes By In The Morning On His Bike To See If I'm
Home And I Was Then He Takes Off.
An Stops By On His Bike B/C He's Bore And Calls Tu
Over So They Can Go Riding.
After An's Exciting <-Sarcasm) Ride With Tu, He Returns
And Stays For A Couple Of Hours And Burns Himself Season
Two The The O.C.
Later In The Evening Cesar N An Stops By With Poker
Chips And With Play A Game Of Hold 'Em. During The
Second Game The Nurse Arrive To Pay A Visit So They
Take Of A Ride For A Bit.
When The Nurse Leaves And They Come Back, They Seen
A Motorcycle Accident And Was Helping Them Out.
The Bike That Crashed Happened To Be A 600RR,
The Bike I'm Gonna Get, Apparently The Front Brakes
Locked Up And Threw Him Over The Bike, So I Gotta
Watch Out For The When I Get Mines.


Friday, June 3, 2005

Nothing Much Exciting Today, Same Old Stuff.

Another Nurse Stops To Check If My Mom Is Doing The
Dressing On My Leg Correctly

Tu N Jocelyn Stopped By To Pick My Radar Detector
So Tram, Rowena, And Jocelyn Can Goto L.A. Tomorrow
Which Tu Didn't Know About, Ahaha, What A Loser.


Saturday, June 4, 2005

Nothing New Today Either, But The Pain In My
Leg Is Easing.

Another Nurse Stopped By Today Too, It Was A 
Physical Therapy Nurse, She Wanted To Make Sure
I Was Able To Walk Around By Myself And If I 
Could Sit On The Toilet Pretending To Take Shit
So She Knows I Can If I Wanted Too.

Talked To Joycelyn N Tram Upon Their Arrival In L.A.
In A Fast Time Of 4 Hours, Congrats.



Sun., Jun. 5 :
Went To Col. Rafanelli's Retirement Party Today @ DnB
It Was A Pretty Good Turn Out Thanks To Ca Who I
Planned The Party. It Was Good Seeing All The Former
ROTC Cadets Again, Like A High School Reunion, It Went
Far Back As 1994 And Went To 2003. So Yea, Good Time
After Being Stuck In Bed For 1 1/2 Weeks, But It Was
Killer On My Leg, Lots Of Blood :-(



Tue., Jun. 7 :
I Went Driving Today To Go Vote, But When I Got To
Sylvandale School Was Out And They Closed The Parking
Lot That Leads To The Voting Room So I Went To Stop By
My Work Place And Help Out A Bit.
When I Was Driving It Felt Hella Weird Like I Was
Driving For The First Time And Felt Blessed That I Was
Able To Drive.

After Helping Out At Work, It Was Off To My Lil Bro's
High School Graduation And Man Was It A Work Out Going
Down The Garage Stairs Then To The Event Center. Every
One Was Passing Me Up, Even Old People n Their Walking
Cane, Even My Mom Left Me :-(
Graduation Went Well, Seen Some Familiar Faces, But It
Was Killer On My Leg, More Blood. So No More Going
Place Where I Have To Stand Or Sit Uncomfortable For A
Long Period Of Time.



Wed., Jun. 8 :
Went To Go See Me Doctor Today To See How I Was Doing,
He Said I Was Doing Good B/C Me Wounds Were Scabbing
Up But I Was Still Be Out For Another 6 Weeks Or So.
My Leg Was A Little Swollen And Was Recommended To
Elevate It.
As I Was Walking With My Walker Outside For My Mom To
Come With The Car I See A Lady Come From Behind And
Pass Me Up Like Everyone Else, But She Didn't. She
Walked Next To Me And Asked Me What Happen So I Told
Her Then Said She Admired My Courage And I Said Thank
You.
Next She Starts Talking About How She Had Her Knees
Replaced And That Only One Doctor Had The Balls To Do
It. Then She Asked Me What Doctor I Had, I Replied Dr.
Godley, She Said He Was A Good Doctor. She Goes On And
Says That Dr. Matthews Was The Only Doctor Out Of 5
Doctors Willing To Do The Operation And He Came From
UCLA Medical Center. I Go On And Say That's My Doctor 
Now B/C Dr. Godley Was Leaving On An Out Of Town Trip
For 6 Weeks And Referred Me To His Good Friend Dr.
Matthews While I Was Gone. No Respect To Dr. Godley
But I'm Happy That I'm Getting A Better Doctor Which
I Guess He Knows What He Is Doing From Talking To That
Lady, So I Feel Good About That.
I Met Dr. Matthews Before, He Did A Clean Up Operation
On My Leg When I Got To Kaiser Hospital B/C Dr. Godley
Couldn't For A Reason I Forgot. He Seems Like A Very 
Up Beat Guy And Does Not Worry Too Much When He Knows
Things Will Be Fine B/C He Knows What He Is Doing And
How Things Are Supposed To Happen.



Fri., Jun. 10 :
Went To Watch Mr & Mrs Smith Today With Mr. Calvin Bui
B/C Everyone Else FLAKED Which Is Cool B/C Calvin Got
Treated To The Movies Which Other People Would Have
Gotten If They Went, But Oh Well.
The Movie Was Good, I Enjoyed It, The Movie Had
More Comedy Than I Expected, But It A Pretty Good Mix
Of Action And Comedy. The Action Isn't On The Edge Of
Your Seat Kind Of Action, Just A Little Bit Less And
Some Action Scenes Turn Into Laughter. Some Comedy
Scenes Are LoL But Most Of The Time It Isn't. The
Movie Storyline Is A Simply One And Nothing Complex
About So It Should Be Easy To Watch And Enjoy.
I Think I Would Have Enjoyed The Movie More If My
Expectations For It Wasn't So High With The
Commercials And All The Buzz About The Actors In It,
Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie And The Speculations
About Alleged Relationship.



Mon., Jun. 13 :
Went To Work Again Today, I Was Planning To Anyways,
But Got Asked By My Dad To Come Help For A Bit With
Ordering Parts. My Plan Was To Come In To Work Once A
Week To Help Out And Order Parts Etc. But That All Got
Changed Today When I Found Out The Answer To What You
Guys Been Asking Me Jokingly, I Think, And That I Said
No Too. That Question Is If I Was Still Getting Paid
Even Though I Wasn't Working And Was Home Recovering.
The Answer To That Question Is YES, I Didn't Expect To
Get Paid B/C I Wasn't Working And Was Fine With That.
My Dad Said He Wasn't Going To Cut Me Off And Will 
Continue To Pay Me Twice A Month. I Really Didn't Mind
Him Not Paying Me Since I Wasn't Working For It, I Was
Home Doing Nothing And Not Spending Money Anyways, And
I Thought Part Of My Pay Was Going To My Lil Bro's
Wage Since He's Working There Practically Full Time.
So In Light Of The New News, My Weekly Work Day Will
Turn Into Three Work Days A Week, Well, That's What I
Plan To Do. It's On My Own Terms B/C I'm Still Getting
Paid And I Really Don't Like Getting Something For
Nothing, I Wanna Try To Earn It. I'm Going To Hold
Myself To At Least Three Days A Week, Specifically
Monday, Wednesday, And Friday, But I'll Try To Do 4
Days A Week When I Can, Like Every Other Day Or
Something As Long As My Leg Can Stand It. Oh Yea, It's
Not 3 Or 4 Days Of Full Work, Just Half Day, 4 Hours
Or So :-)

Note: Ms Joy Got Her Bike Today, A 2005 Kawasaki Ninja
500R, Congrats And Hope To See You On The Road Soon.



Tue., Jun. 14 :
Nothing Much Today, Just A Day To Relaxn Heal
Played Some Hold 'Em @ Nite n Lost All Three Games



Wed., Jun. 15 :
Tram Came Over In The Early Morning Bout 10am To Bring
Me Some Breakfast From Denny's, She Got Me The Meat
Lovers Skillet Which I Didn't Finish B/C My Strict
Eating Style, But It's Ok, It Became Someone's Second
Hand Breakfast, HaHa HeHe, The Pancakes Anyways.
Thanks Tram If I Didn't Tell You Before.
Went To Work As Planned, Went Home Rested, Ate Dinner
And Had A Early Bedtime 8pm, Musta Been A Food Coma,
You Guys Know About That :-p




Thu., Jun. 16 :
As With Going To Sleep Early, You Wake Up Early, Well
I Did In This Case. And What Time Did I Wake Up? 4am
Exactly 8 Hours After I Fell Asleep. Crazy n Stupid
Shit Man. Since My Accident I Never Got More Than 8
Hours Of Continuous Sleep Always 8 Hours Or Less.
Another Reason Why I Woke Up Is That I Had To Go Pee,
Which Is Usually The Case When I Wake Up Out Of
Nowhere. After Returning From Urinating, I Couldn't Go
Back To Sleep So I Went Online For A Bit Then Watched
Some Chappelle's Show Episodes From Second Season DVD,
So After A Couple Of Episodes And Hours I Finally Fall
Back To Sleep @ 7am Only To Be Woken Up Partially Two
Hours Later By The Gardener Cutting The Grass And
Blowing His Blower Right Next To My Open Window. I Try
To Ingore The Sounds n Go Back To Sleep Only To Be
Woken An Hour Later By My Mom Bringing Me Breakfast
And Reminding Me To Go To Work So My Dad Can Go To His
Doctor's Appointment.
So Went To Work, Went Home, Played Some More Hold 'Em
Won One Game And Lost Two, Ate Dinner, Took Vicodin,
Finished Chappelle's Season 2 Disc 1, Update Angelfire
And Now To Bed NITE ALL.....

Note: Tram's Sushi Night Hope To See Every One There
And Hope I Can Actually Make It There, HaHa



Fri., Jun. 17 :
Went To Tram's Sushi Night LATE B/C Stupid An Went To
Go Play Basketball @ 7pm, The Time He Was Suppose To
Pick Me Up For Tram's Thing. Little Fucker. J/K About
The Little Part, HaHaHa. But It's All Good, Cool
People Arrive Late Anyways As Well As Cripple People.
I Fall Into Both Categories, LoL, So Even More Reason
For Me To Come Late. I Didn't Miss Any Of The Sushi
Though, 2 New Rolls Were Made Upon My Arrival. Thanks
Tram. 
After Eating The Girls Got To Chatting About
Whatever They Chat About And Yes I Do Mean Girls, They
All Were, LoL. (Hope You Get That If Not, Then Too Bad) 
After They Did Some Horoscope Stuff.
The Men Went To Play No Limit Texas Hold 'Em Or Pool
For The Non-Gamblers. I Won The First Game And Nguyen
Won The Second.
After The Sexes Finish Their Respective Festivities,
We Were Off To Joy's House, Where I Found Out That An
And I Were The Only Ones That Didn't Smoke Weed Before
I Was Shocked How Many Of My Friends Smoked It, I Was
Like OMG (Yup Just Like That Oh My God, LoL) And Now
Aisha Is One Of Them, What Peer Pressure, HaHa. Damn,
Poor Aisha Is One Of Them Now, Damn Pot Head, HeHe.



Sun., Jun. 19 :
Some People Should Stop Being Hypocrites And Start
Listening To Their Own Advice.

------------------------------------------------------

Everyday I Look At My Wounds And I Think To Myself
What Did I Do To Deserve This? I Don't Think I Did
Anything Bad To Deserve This, And I Don't Think I Got
This B/C I Was Good B/C That Would Be Totally Fucked
Up, If That's The Case, I'll Start Being Bad, HaHa.

Everyday That Went By And I See What Happened To My
Leg, I Had No Clue Why It Happened To Me. Today, I
Might Have Some Idea Even Though It Might Sound Crazy,
At Least It Gives Me Some Kind Of Reason It Happened.

So Here It Is, I Think I Got Into An Accident B/C
Something Good And Worth It Is Coming My Way. Like No
Pain, No Gain Kinda. Here's What I Think Is A Simpler
Way Of Explaining It That You Guys Might Be Able To
Relate To.  You Know How People Say "I'd Give Anything
To Have This, That, Or Person." I Think In My Case,
I'm Giving My Leg, Not Literally, But The Accident,
Pain, Suffering, Sadness/Depression, Being Stuck At
Home And Not Being Able To Go Out Specially When It's
Summer To Get What I Want. It Wasn't By Choice Though,
But I'd Be Happy To Go Through All That Knowing In The
End I Will Get What I Want, That Their Are Happy
Days Ahead With The Thing/Person That Is Worth All Of It.

On Second Thought Maybe I Deserve This Somehow ;=(

Well, All That Is Just An Idea I Got Today, I Don't
Know If It's True Or Not Yet, But I Hope It Is B/C I
Have No Clue Why I'm Going Through What I'm Going Through.
But At Any Rate, I'll Keep You Guys Updated With This
Situation.

Note: Everyday Looking At My Wounds, I Also Think To
Myself That "I'm Fucked Up" Or "I'd Fucked Myself Up"



Mon., Jun. 20 :
Woke Up In A Little Happier Mood Today For Some Reason
And It Continued Throughout The Day. Maybe Because I
Had Stuff To Do Today Instead Of Laying In My Bed For
Most Of The Day. Or Maybe The Things That Happen Or I
Did Today Was All Good Things.
The First Thing Good Besides Just Waking Up In Better
Mood Than Most Days, The Nurse That Came And Checked
Out My Leg Said My Wounds Are Healing Very Good, Which
I Can See For Myself, So That's A Good Thing B/C It's
A Step Toward For Me To Start Walking Again.
The First Thing I Did Today Was Going To The Bank And
Deposit My Pay Check For Trying To Work When I Can, I
Practically Get Paid The Same For Working Less Hours,
Usually When I Want To Work, But I Do Try To Work The
Most I Can Given My Condition. So Having Money Is A
Good Thing B/C You Need Money To Do Things.
The Second Thing I Did Today Was To Get A Haircut,
Which I Liked B/C Lots Of People Were Telling Me That
I Needed A Haircut. Now That I Got A Haircut I Don't
Look That Terrible, Like I've Been At Home For A Very
Long Time Doing Jack Shit, Which I've Been Doing, But
I Don't Look Like That Anymore LoL. Isn't It All About
Looks Anyways? Ha, Not With Everything Though :-p
The Third Thing I Did Today Was To Kick It With
Friends @ La Vics All B/C Joel Was Back In Town, I
Didn't Like That Guy Anyways, HaHa J/K.
So Today Was A Pretty Good Day With All The Things
Happening And I Was Doing.



Tue., Jun. 21 :
Woke Up Today To A Very Early Breakfast Burrito
Courtesy Of Tram, Thanks By The Way. So She Comes Here
A Little Before 9am Delivering A Breakfast Burrito
Which I Requested Between 830-900am When I Meant The
Food Van Leaves Around That Time But Nevertheless She
Is Here When I'm Still Trying To Get Some More Sleep.
So She Gets Into Eating Her Burrito While I Let Mine
Sit B/C I Just Woke Up And Wasn't Hungry At The Time,
Which I Should Have Ate Anyways B/C A Microwaved
Burrito Does NOT Taste As Good When It's Freshly Made.
Then She Gets Into Talking Shit About The Girls Being
Ho's, Sluts, And Whores. Mainly Rowena, Judy, And Joy
Then I Was Like WTF Tram? Really? How? LoL J/K HaHaHa
I Got You Guys, I Think. Don't Be Mad, You're All My
Friends And I Love You All, HeHe. So Tram And I Were
Just Chatting About Anything That Came Into Our Heads,
Pretty Good Chat I Think, Then Close To 11am Comes By
So She Takes Off To Get Ready For Work.

Went To The Doctors Today And Got My Cast Off, WooHoo
For That But I Got A Knee Immobilizer, Which Is
Practically A Removable Cast, But Doesn't Go All The
Way Down To My Ankle, Just Keeps My Knee From Not
Bending. I Still Have To Use My Walker, But I'm Able
To Rotate My Ankle Which I'm Getting Used After Four
Week Of Not Doing So. I Also Got My Stitches Out That
I Had 11 Of And Also Hurt When Taking Some Of Them Out
Next Part Of My Recovery Is To Soften Of My Joints
Specially My Knee Which They Will Teach Me When My
Appointment With Physical Therapy Comes Up, Then We'll
See From There When I'll Start Walking On My Own.
So Things Are Looking Good For My Recovery That's A
Plus.


One Thing Tram And I Talked About Today Was
Relationships, Which Has Been On My Mind For The Last
Day Or So.
These Days I See That It's Harder For People In
Relationships And Staying In Them. I See That A Lot Of
Relationships These Days Can Barely Make It Past The 
One Year Mark For Whatever Reason. Seems Like
Something Always Happen Within The First Year, Someone
Cheats, Someone Gets Fed Up, Or Someone Just Falls Out
Of Liking Or Loving The Other Person. Whatever The
Reason, Why Is It Harder Now To Stay In A Relationship
Than It Was Before. It Is Because We're Older And It
Gets Complicated Or There's Too Much Temptation Out
There Or No One Wants To Really Try Anymore Or No One
Wants Be To Tied Down To One Person?
There Are Couple That Make It Past The One Year Mark
And Are Together For Many Years, But Sometimes To Me
It Doesn't Seem Like They've Been Together That Long
By The Way They Act Among Other Things Or It Could Be
Just Me, I've Never Been In A Relationship For Many
Years So I Wouldn't Know How They Are Supposed To Be
Or Maybe I Just Have High Expectations For Certain
Things After So Many Years Of Being Together.
All I Know That I'm Always Willing To Try Even Though
The Things I've Been Through.


Side Note: Something That's Been In My Head That I
Wanted To Say:
Just B/C You've Been Through It Before, Doesn't Mean
You Have To Put Up With It Again.



Wed., Jun. 22 :
Hmm, What Did I Do Today. I'm Trying To Remember 5
Days Back To Fill In For This Day.....

I Know I Went To Work Today For Sure And Went Home.
What Else Am I Missing, I Know I'm Missing Something,
I Just Feel Like I Am.

Hey, I Got It. It Was Nothing Much. Went To Tram's 
House @ Night To Meet Up So A Few Of Us Can Go To Top
Dog In Berkeley And Fishing After, But I Didn't Go B/C
An, The Person I Was Riding With, Thought We Were
Going To Top Dog In San Jose Therefore Went Home After
Getting Gas B/C He Had School Tomorrow Morning, So I
Went Home And Slept.


Thu., Jun. 23 :
What Did I Do Today??? Absolutely Nothing. I Was In
Bed For Approximately 20+ Hours. The Only Times I
Probably Got Out Of Bed Was When I Went To The
Restroom Twice So Bedside Those, I Was In Bed.
During Or After The 20+ Hours In Bed, I Realize That I
Am A Very Patient Person, Which I Think Is Good Given
My Condition And All. I Think Anybody Else In My
Situation Would Be Bored Out Of Their Mind Being In
Bed For That Many Hours And Would Probably Go Out And
Doing Something That Would Prolong Their Recovery Time
Or Create New Injuries. So Me Being Patient Is A Good
Thing And Glad I'm That Kind Of Person Right Now, LoL.


Fri., Jun. 24 :
Today I: 
- Went To Work, 
- Went Home, 
- Went To Physical Therapy,
- Went Home,
- Went To Tram's Work To Buy MEGA MILLIONS Lotto Ticket,
- Ate Ice Cream W/ Tram And Forced Joy To Go Along,
- Went Home,
- Rowena, Yvonne, Kristine Stop By With Tram's B-Day
Cake And Chilled Until Tram Got Off Work To Surprise
Her With It By Camping Outside Her House Waiting For
Her To Come Home,
- Surprised Tram With Cake, Ate Cake, Chilled For A Bit Then Went Home.



Sat., Jun. 25 :
Tram And My Lil Bro's B-Day

Today, I Had To Work All Day B/C My Lil Bro Stayed
Home And Had A BBQ/Party For His B-Day And Boy Was My
Leg In Pain By The End Of The Work Day.
After Work I Went Home To Rest A Little Bit Before
Tram's Party, Then Waited For The LATE Joy To Pick Me
Up. Tram's Party Was Pretty Fun, But I Would Have More
Lots More Fun If My Leg Was Broken. Know That I Think
About It, It Was Fun, Well FUNNY. Ro OH Ro Was The
Highlight Of The Evening If Not For Everyone, It Was
At Least For Me. The Drunk Ro Ran Through The Sliding
Screen Door At Tram's House, Just Like How Dog Run
Into Clear n Clean Sliding Glass Doors. Just A Classic
Moment That Should Be On America's Funniest Videos.
Thanks Ro You Made My Night And Probably Several Days
Too B/C When I Think About It, It Puts A Smile On My
Face :-D

So Yea, I Notice You Get Special Treatment And
Treated Nice When You're Handicap/Crippled And I
Wonder Why Can't Everyone Treat Me Like That Everyday
Even When I'm Not Hurt Huh, What's Up With That? LoL
I Get Special Parking, Food First, Things Handed To Me
Things Done For Me Etc... But I Admit Sometimes I Want
To Do The Things Myself, Sometimes I Want To Steal My
Own Popsicle Out Of Tram's Fridge, HaHaHa.
Yup, I Had To Say Everything Else So I Can Say That I 
Want To Steal My Own Popsicle, LoL.

When I Got Home @ 1am From Tram's Party, I Came Home
To My Lil Bro's Party And All His Friends, About 20 Of
Them In The House Doing Various Things: Watching
Movies, Playing Poker, And Playing Video Games Until
3am Which Made It Hard For Me To Sleep With My Room
Being In Front And All.





Sun., Jun. 26 :
I Got Woken Up To Work B/C My Lil Bro Stayed Up Late
For His Party And Couldn't Get Up In Time. I Was
Supposed To Stay For A While Until He Gets There, But
I End Up Staying The Whole Day, So That's Two Days In
A Row That I Worked Full Days. By The End Of Today My
Foot Was Super Swollen, Almost Big As An's Foot, Hella
Swollen Huh? So When I Got Home I Spent Two Hours
Keeping It Elevated And By The End Of The Two Hours It
Looked The Same. What BULL CRAP!!! I Made Some Instant
Noodles For Dinner Since My Lil Bro That Was Supposed
To Buy My Dinner Was Still Asleep And Watched Sunday
Stew On MTV And Waited For My Mom To Come Home To
Change The Dressing On My Leg And Go To Bed.


Mon., Jun. 27 :
Woke Kinda Early This Morning B/C An Called And Woke
Me Up B/C I Didn't Hear Him Calling Me Through The
Window. Then Tram Calls To See If I Wanted To Go Out
For Some Breakfast So An And I Wait For Her To Come.
She Arrives Then I Go Freshen Up So We Can Go, But
When I Got Out Of The Restroom The Nurse Was Here To
Check Up On Me. By The Time She Was Done, It Was Too
Late For Peanut's Breakfast And Too Long For An To
Stay Awake Therefore He Went Home To Nap And Tram And
I Went To Denny's Instead.
After Denny's, Tram Takes Me To The Warehouse So She
Can Buy Cigarettes And To A Cheap Place To Buy Ice
Cream, It's Dirt Cheap, It Is Like A Place Where Ice
Cream Trucks Would Buy Their Ice Cream. Tram Bought
Me A Box Of Tu-Tones Ice Cream And It Only Costs
$2.10. Man, What A Deal, I'll Probably Buy Some More
Ice Cream There. And For Those Of You That Don't Know
What Tu-Tones Ice Cream Is, It Is HELLA Good Ice Cream
That Has Orange Flavor Outside And GOOD White Stuff
Inside ;-p
So That Was Pretty Much My Day Except Some Other Minor
Stuff Like Driving The Mercedes To Work For My Dad To
Take To A Business Meeting Which Got Cancelled When I
Got To Work, Stopped By Tram's Work To Drop Of Some 
Info, Going Home, Going To Pick Up Something For My
Older Bro With My Lil Bro, Getting Gas For The Benz
Etc..... Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah..... I'm Tired
GOOD NIGHT



Tue., Jun. 28 :
Guess What Today Is??? Today Is The One Month-Versary
Of My Motorcycle Crash. Isn't It Cool? Hope Not B/C It
Is Not Cool. Well, My Recovery Is Going Good Though,
But I Still Got A Ways To Go And More Of My Summer To
Give Up.
Today I Actually Started To Watch Movies And Catch Up
On Some That I Have Missed In Theaters That I Have On
DVD. Todays Movie Was "The Notebook", Here My Take On
It. The Movie Started With The Young Couple Madly In
Love, Too Much In Love, But It Was Very Believable. In
A Movie Setting With Them In Love Like That, It Was
Too Good To Be True And You Know Something Bad Was
Going To Happen To Them And It Did, But In The End
They End Up Together, Of Course, The Typical Ending.
For Those Of You That Watched The Movie, The Part That
Got Me Almost In Tears (I Said ALMOST) Was Toward The
Ending Where He Finishes Reading The Story To Her And
She Remembers That Story Was Actually About Them. How
Weird The Old Couple ALMOST Got Me Into Tears, Not The
Young Hot Couple (Rachael McAdams), But The Old Couple
Them Years Later. It Was The Story Of Them As The
Young Hot Couple That Built Up To It Though :-p
I Think This Movie Of That Of A Classic Tale, Where
Two People From Different Families (Rich n Poor) Fall
Madly In Love, But One Family Disagree Of Their Affair
(The Rich Family Of Course, Specifically The Mother)
And Tear Them Apart (In This Case It's Moving Back
Home From Their Summer House). He Writes To Her But
The Mother Keeps The Letter From Her Then They Are
Forced To Move On With Their Lives. She Eventually
Finds Another Love And Is About To Get Married But
During Their Engagement Time, Something Of The Old
Love Pops Into Her Life (A Picture Of Him And His
House) Then She Gets To Reminisce About Their Love And
Goes Off To Visit Him And Falls Back In Love With Him.
Then Her Mother Finds Out Then She Has A Decision To
Make On Which Guy To Live With For The Rest Of Her
Life. She Of Course Chooses The Poor Guy, Her First
Love. The Only Difference In This Classic Tale Is The 
Guy Is Reading Their Life As A Story To Her B/C She
Has Alzheimers Or Some Kind Of Memory Problem.
So I Liked The Romance Movie, Well More Movies To Come
For Me.....






Wed., Jun. 29 :
First Some Thoughts:

- I Think My Sense Of Humor Has Gone Down Since My
Accident. Before I Could Laugh At Myself No Matter
What I Did Or What I Was The Joke Of. I Laugh At How
I Fractured My Risk Snowboarding When People Joked It
Was B/C Of Too Much Self Satisfaction. I Laughed And
Joked About How Burn My Legs On The Motorcycle. I Even
Joked How I Fell Into The Lane When Bowling When Most
Would Have Been Embarrassed.
I Guess This Accident Was Very Serious And Is Hard
To Laugh About Sometimes Especially When You Are Going
Through So Much Pain.
Hope I'm Able To Get My Sense Of Humor Back After I 
Heal And Laugh About It.

- I Notice When I See, Read, Or Hear About People In
Accident, Attack Or Some Kind Of Tragedy, It Hits Me
Harder Than Before. Before I Don't Think It Hit Me At
All, But I Think Due To Me Being In An Accident And 
Going Through Pain I Kind Of Feel What They Are Going
Through. I Feel Sadden At Times When I Hear These 
Stories And I Wish No One Ever Got Hurt.


Went To Work And Watched Batman Begins @ Camera 12.
Pretty Good Movie, More Batman Movies To Come.



Thu., Jun. 30 :
Nothing Much Today, Went To Work And Received My
Paycheck And Finally Watched Garden State.

Good Note: Good News Of My Recovery. Today I Lifted My
Left Leg Straight Up. Before Today I Thought My Leg
Was Hopeless, I Tried With All My Might Numerous Times
Before Without Privailing. I Literally Thought My Leg
Was Dead And My Muscles Were Destroyed For Good Or
That The Doctor Didn't Reconnect My Muscle Or Did 
Something Wrong During Surgery.
After Meeting With Physical Therapy And Learning Some
Exercises And Less Than A Week Later I Worked Up
Enough Muscle To Raise My Leg Up.
Before I Could Do All The Exercises Fine With Some
Stiffness Except Lifting My Leg Straight Up Even If My
Lift Depended On It, But Now I Can, WooHoo, With Lots
Off Effort Though.
A Couple Of More Days Or Weeks, I Will Be Lifting My
Leg Up With No Problems.


Fri., Jul. 1 :
Work, Bank, Tram's Work, Krung Thai, Sideways


Sat., Jul. 2 :
Work, 
Andrew's B-Day BBQ, Where There Was A Rowena Wannabe.
So We Are Talking About Last Week @ Tram's B-Day Party
How Ro Runs Into The Screen Door And Knocks It Down.
Soon After We Are Done Talking About It, We Hear A
Loud BANG, Then We All Look Toward The BANG And See
Nothing Unusual Just A Bunch Of People Stand Around
Laughing, But Then I Looked At The Top Corner Of The
Screen Door And It's Off The Rail And Half Way Into 
The House. So People Were Standing Around Because The
Girl Who Ran Into The Screen Door Got It Stuck In The
Door And Needed A Screwdriver To Pry It Out.
It Has Been Reported That The Girl Was NOT Drunk When
Running Into The Screen Door, But Just Clumsy, LoL
The Girl Has Also Has Not Been Identified, Well I Just
Didn't Get A Chance To Find Out Who It Was.

After The BBQ, We Headed Over To Tram's For The Girl's
To Watch "The Notebook", Well Joy Did Anyways B/C Ro n
Tram FELL Asleep. I Was Playing In A Poker Game Which
I Loss.


Sun., Jul. 3 :
Work, Home, Mystic River

I Think That Was All I Did This Day


Mon., Jul. 4 :
4th Of July Obviously

No Work, Minh n I Was Supposed To Go To Von/Ca's Beach
Thing, But We Delayed Our Departure B/C I Wasn't Ready
To Go On Time Then We Chilled At Tram's Work Trying To
Get Her To Go. She Closes Up Early, We Meet @ Her
House And Waited For Others, She Goes Buy KOREAN BBQ,
Cooks It Then We Ended Up Chillin' @ Her House To
Watch Fireworks From Her Backyard And Balcony, Then Go
To EVC Where Minh n His Friend's Blow Some Of Their
Own. So No A Bad Day After All, Could Have Been Work
If I Went To The Beach With My Broken Leg And Take A 
Long ASS MOTHER FUCKIN' Walk To The Beach Area.


Tue., Jul. 5 :
Binh Tran's B-Day

Work, Physical Therapy, Home, Bank, Tram's Work,
Home, Some "Chicken Place For Binh's B-Day Dinner,
Where It Had Some NASTY ASS Beeg & Sausage Spaghetti,
Then Home.

Sorry Mr. Binh Tran That I Couldn't Go Out n Drink
With You, But You Gotta Understand Given My Condition
I Couldn't Be Drinkin' n Walking Around Downtown From
Bar To Bar. Don't Worry We'll Go Out n Drink Once I
Get Better. Happy 21th By The Way, LoL


Wed., Jul. 6 :
Mom's B-Day

My Dad Said Everyone Remembered My Mom's B-Day Except
Her And Was Surprised When My Dad Told Her That It Was


Woke Up @ 11:30am After 11 1/2 Hours Of Sleep, Ate
Breakfast/Dinner, Chilled For 3-4 Hours, Napped For
Another 3-4 Hours, Woke Up n Got Ready To Go Eat For
My Mom's B-Day @ SUPER BUFFET.

SUPER BUFFET Isn't All The Great, You Got To Pick Your
Food Carefully Or You'll Be Stuck With Either Salty,
Nasty Tasting, Or Old Food. The Only Thing That Is 
Probably Fresh Is The Soup And That's Only B/C It's
Practically Cookin' 24/7 To Keep Warm. Some Foods Are
Not Fresh Or Nasty. The Fruit Wasn't All That Fresh, 
And The Cream Puff Tasted Like The Cream Was Old, Like
They Kept It For A Couple Of Days Instead Of Making
New Ones. The Ice Cream From The Machine Tasted
Nasty, So It Was Not A Great Dining Experience And Be
Careful What You Pick To Eat From There.

After SUPER BUFFET, Went To The Pharmacy To Pick Up 
Some More Vicodin Pills, Then Home.


Thu., Jul. 7 :
Too Long Ago To Rememeber What I Did On This Day, But
It Probably Just Involved Work And Some Other Stuff


Fri., Jul. 8 :
I Remember This Day Probably B/C I Did Something Worth
Remembering.

So Today Was Work Then Off To Watch FANTASTIC 4.
I Thought The Movie Was A Great Movie.
The Movie Had A Good Story Line True To The Comic Book
Even Though I Haven't Read It, But If You Had Any Idea
What The Fantastic 4 Was About And Watched The Movie,
It Follow True To What You Thought It Was.
The Movie Was A Great Starting Point For Future Movie
If They Make Any. The Movie Progressed At A Good Rate
And It Didn't Really Drag On Like How I Thought Batman
Begins Did. I Give The Movie A 4.75 Rating Out Of 5 
Total. 
I Say If You Watch Any Movie This Summer, Make It This
One, It Is The Best Movie I Seen In Theaters This
Summer So Far Especially There Are Not Many Summer
Blockbuster Movie This Summer.


Sat., Jul. 9 :
Just Work n Home From What I Remember, But I Think
I Did Something Else But Don't Remember. Hmmmmm


Sun., Jul. 10 :
Work, Home, Then Watched Elektra, Which I
Thought Was A Pretty Good Movie By Itself Without
Adding My Likeness Toward Jennifer Garner.
The Movie Gets You Thinking A Little, Not So Much That
It Hurts Your Head Or To Drift Off Of Watching The Movie.
You Know What The Movie Is About And What Movie It
Spun Off Of, So If You Have The Time Watch It, I Give
It 4/5.



Mon., Jul. 11 :
Work, Home, To Tram's For Some Tacos n Drinks With
Some Peeps. A Nice Little Evening Outing.


Tue., Jul. 12 :
Work, Physical Therapy, 

Cluck U, Where I Saw Some Friends Riding Their Bikes
There To Eat That Just Make Me Just Wanna Hop On Their
Bike n Go Riding. Therefore I Can't Wait Til I Heal
And Riding Already :-p

Starbucks, For A Bit, Just To Get A Drink n Leave B/C
We Were Running Out Of Time To Get To Our Movie

Movies, Watched War Of The World B/C I Heard That I 
Was Supposed To Be A Good Movie To Watch In Theaters.
That Movie Was Not A Good Anything, But A Waste Of My
DAMN Money. It Was A "Movie" Of People Running Away 
From Robots Attacking Them. Throughout The Movie Tom
Cruise's Character Is Running Away From The Robots And
Is Getting Lucky Million Of Times Getting Away Even 
Though The Robots Got Everyone Else Around And Leaving
Only Him And/Or His Kid Behind To Continue Running.
They Even Got Away When The Rebot Was In Front Of
Their Faces With No One Around, Just Plain STUPID.
Another Thing That Is Stupid Is Dakota Fanning's
Character Screaming Almost The Whole FUCKIN' Time, 
They Call That Great Acting? I Can Be An Actor Then.
Tom Cruise Doesn't Even Do Anything Dramatic To Save
The World But One Inciddent Where He Puts A Grenade
Into One Robot And Blow It Up, But After That, The 
Robots Starts Dying On Their Own.
All Tom Cruise Was Good At Was Getting Lucky Running
Away And Hiding Like A Little BITCH.

This Movie Scores A 3/5 From Me, I Suggest Not To
Watch This Movie Unless You Want To Waste Your Money,
Are A Fan Of Tom Cruise, Are A Fan Of Dakota Fanning,
Or Like That Shit I Said This Movie Is Above.


After The "Movie", We Were On The Way To Hercules, CA
To Drop Off Ms. Joy B/C I Said I Would If She Went To
The Movies And I Did.
Got To See Her New House Away From San Jose, Far Away
I Would Say. I Liked Her New House Probably B/C It Was
New. It Is Quite The Commute To San Jose From There.
It Doesn't Make Minh's House Look Too Bad And Probably
Rowena's House Too, LoL


Wed., Jul. 13 :
No Work Today. Instead I Took The Day To Rest Kinda
And Get Some Things Done.

So I Drove By Traffic Court, Yes Drove By B/C The 
Little Parking Lot Was Full And Almost All The Parking
Surrounding The Building Was Taken. The Parking Space
I Found Was A Too Far For Me To Crutch To The Entrance
In The Hot Weather And Then Wait In Line, So I Left.

I Was Off To The Bank To Deposit Some Money By Way Of
The Drive-Thru ATM Of Course, Like I'm Gonna Walk To
The ATM When I Can Drive, Ha

After The Bank, It Was To The Hair Cut Place To Get A
Hair Cut Of Course Then Home To Shower n Relax n Chill



Thu., Jul. 14 :
This Morning I Was Up Early To Hit Up The Traffic
Court Again And Try To Beat The Other People. When I 
Got There The Parking Situation Was The Same As
Yesterday, So I Circling Out To Leave When I Car Pulls
Out Of A Parking Space Right In Front Of The Entrance,
Well Not Exactly In Front, The Parking Space Was On
The Street That Is Adjacent To Their Parking Lot That
Is In Front Of The Entrance, You Probably Don't Get It
But If You Want To Understand, Tell Me And I'll Draw
You A Picture Or Something.
So I'm Inside The Traffic Court In Line And After
Waiting In Line For 30 Mins The Lady That Is Going
Around The Line Helping People As She Can Gets To Me,
I Explain My Situation, She Gives Me A Extension And
Tells Me That I Can Mail My Info In Even Though I
Don't Have The Ticket To Get My Stuff Signed Off. So
I Stopped By Work Since It's On The Way Back For A Bit
Then I Went Home For A Bit To Finish Some Business
Then Back To Work Til Closing Time Then Home For
Dinner And To Rest.


Note: In Case You Guys Are Wondering What Ticket I Got
That I Had To Clear Up, It Was A Ticket While Riding
My Bro's Bike In April. It Was For No License (I Had 
My Regular License And Not My M1), No Proof Of
Registration, And No Proof Of Insurance. All That B/C
I Didn't Signal When Changing Lanes, But I Didn't Get
Ticketed For That Which Is Cool B/C That Would Have
Been A Point Or Something Against My Record.


Thu., Jul. 21 :
Well, Well, Well. I'm Tired Of Writing What Happens To
Me Every Single Day, Matter Of The Fact Is That I Don't
Have The Time For It Anymore, I'm Walking Now For
Goodness Sake, LoL.
I'm Goona Write About Notable Things That Happen, So
First Things First. I'm Walking Now, If You Didn't Get
It When I Said It Above, So Yay! For Me.

Okay. Now For Some Stuff. Stuff That Happen And Some
Thoughts Of Mine

1) I Must Look Like I Play Basketball (An Athlete) Or
That I Ride A Motorcycle B/C Everyone That Asks What
Happen To My Leg Guesses Either It's From Playing 
Basketball Or A Basketball Accident. If They Seen The
Injuries I Don't Think They Would Guess Basketball. If
It Was From Basketball, It Would Be A HELL Of A Foul.
Some Of The People That Guessed Motorcycle Are
Motorcyclist Themselves And Told Stories Of All The
Bones They Broke While Riding.
I Didn't Think My Injuries Were That Obvious That It
Came From A Motorcycle Accident, But One Guy Amazed Me
How He Knew. I'm Standing Behind The Counter @ Work
And He Walks In And See My Crutches Standing Behind Me.
He Asked If They Were Mine, I Replied Yes, Then Out Of
No Where He Asks "Where's The Motorcycle". In My Head
I Was Like WTH, How Does He Know I Got Into A
Motorcycle Accident, Then I Told Him The Bike Is At
Home Broken. This Guy Didn't Even See What Part Of My
Body That Was Taped Up, Just From The Waist Up, Which
Has No Injuries Except My Middle Finger, But I Don't 
Think He Seen It, B/C I Was On The Computer Typing.
It's Cool That I Give Off/Look Like A Rider B/C I Am
A Rider, But I'm Both A Rider And A Basketball Player
And More.....HeHe :-p

2) Here's A Tip For People That Are Walking With
Crutches. Just Walk Behind Fat People, They Walk Slow.
It Happen To Me Today While Going To See The Doctors,
At First I Was Like Oh No, I'm Stuck Behind A Fat Slow
Person. As I Was Walking Behind Her, I Realized I Was
Keeping Pace With Her And Not Falling Behind. I Felt
That I Was Walking At A Normal Pace And Fit In And Not
Trying To Keep Up With The Flow Of Other People And
Having People Stuck Behind Me. So That Was Cool, But
At Someone Else's Expense Though, HaHa.

3) If You Guys Watch TV, You Probably Seen The
Car Commercials Offering The Public Their Employee 
Discount On Their Cars. From That I Got An Idea For My
Workplace About Offering The Same Thing, Mainly To My
Friends. As I Was Thinking It Out, I Thought It Would
Be Cool That They Can Get Parts For Cheap. Then I
Thought The Discount Wouldn't Really Be A Discount
Unless You Count 100% Off B/C I Get Everything For Free
And I Couldn't Offer People That, Can I? Of Course Not.
Sorry Guys, HaHa, But I'll Hook You Up If You Need
Parts.

4)I Realized Today That People Who Work Indoors In
Offices Of Sorts Especially Receptionists Have No Idea
What's Going On Outside.
As I Was Waiting For My Physical Therapist, I Over
Heard One Of The Receptionists Telling The Other That 
It Was Raining Outside, And She Was So Shocked When She
Heard It And Asked "Is It Raining Like Hard?" The 
Response Was No It's Not Raining Hard And It's Not 
Sprinkling, It's Just Raining. What They Didn't Know
Was That I Was Raining For The Last 2-3 Hours. I Was
Like OMG, Where Have You Been? You Need To Get Out More.
I Found It Funny, Ridiculous, And Kinda Stupid, But
Lucky The Receptionist That Was Hella Shocked Looked
Fine, So It Was Okay For Her To Be Stupid, LoL.

5) You Guys Might Think I'm Crazy For Thinking This The
Same Day The Doctor Said It's Okay For Me To Walk, But
Here Are The "Toys" I'm Thinking About:



Shoei RF1000 Red/Black - $409.99




Alpinestars Spinner Jacket Black/Red - $287.95




Alpinestars SP-1 Glove Black/Red - $89.95




And Of Course The Grand Daddy Of Them All

2005 Honda CBR600RR Red/Black - $8,999
 


It Doesn't Sound Too Crazy Does It? At Least I'll Have
My Own Gear To Protect Me This Time. I'm Thinking About
Getting Pants And/Or Suit, But That's Hella $,$$$

Those Are My Wants For Now, But I Might Just Hold Out
For The '06 Model Since It'll Be Out In A Couple Of 
Months, For The Bike Anyways. Gotta See How My Recovery
And Weather Goes.




Sun., Jul. 24 :
So I Went Studio 8 Last Night For Mr. Tu Tran's 21st
B-Day. The B-Day Boy, Yes BOY, Looked Like He Was
Fighting The Alcohol After The First Round Drinks, And
Got Even Worst After The Second And Third Round Line Up
Right Afterm, But I Give Him Some Props For Holding His
Alcoho, Well At Least I Think He Did (There Were
Periods Of Time Where I Didn't See Him For A While, Ha)

It Was Kind Of A Much Needed Outing Since I've
Been Pretty Much Home Bound For Almost Two Months Now.
I Had A Very Good Time Specially Given My Condition.
The Only Thing I Probably Regret From Not Doing Last
Night Was To Dance With That FINE Looking Girl (Asian Too) 
That Grabbed My Hand To Go With Her To The Dance Floor
But I Was TOO Tired To Dance (Plus I Was Hanging Out
With My Boy, JRMG, LoL), So Tired That If I Had A
Place To Sit And Rest My Head Or A Place To Lay Down, I
Would Have Knocked Out And Be Sleepin' In The MOTHER
FUCKIN' Club. It Wouldn't Have Gone Well Anyways With
Me Being Tired n Somewhat Handicap. There's Always Next
Time And There Will Be A Next Time And Then There Won't
Be An Excuse.

Also At The Club I Ran Into A Friend That Just Got MY
BIKE, That's Right MY DAMN BIKE, My RED/BLACK 2005
Honda CRB600RR. Everyone Knows I Was Planning To Get
That Bike Too. Oh Well Though, Now I Just Have To Wait
Until The 2006 Model Comes Out And Get That. Can't Be
"Copying" Someone Now Or Knowing Someone With The Same
Bike Cause It'll Be Weird.


So Today I Went To Work Then Got To Watch The Pacifier
With A "Friend"



Thu., Jul. 28 :

Happy Two Month Anniversary To Me, That's Right Two
Months. Two Months Since My Gosh Darn Summer Ending
Motorcycle Accident. Till This Day I Do Not Understand
Why The Accident Happen To Me, After All It Would Be
A Big Thing If It Happen To Anyone. If It Was Something
Minor Like Falling Off The Bike And Sliding On The 
Ground For A Bit, I Would Understand That Far Better 
Than Something Major Like What Happen To Me, Breaking
My Knee Cap And Fracturing My Ankle. All I Know Is That
It Happened And I Am Fine With That For Now.
Now That I Celebrated My DAMN Two Month Anniversary, So
What Happen Since Then. I Went To The Hospital For Five
Days, Had A Cast On My Leg For A Month, Wore A Knee
Immobilizer For Almost A Month, Now I'm Learning How To
Walk On My Own Slowly, But Surely.
I Think My Recovery/Physical Therapy/Rehabilitation Is
Going Great Even Though It's Tough At Times And I Wish
It Went Faster, But I Am On A Good Pace Especially
Given The Kind Of Accident I Was In. Everything Is
Getting Better And Strong Daily Which Is Great B/C It
Gives Me Hope And Confidence That I Will Recover And
Be Normal, Before The Accident Happened.


So What Happened Since My Last Update.

I Forgot To Mention That Last Thursday I Went To The
Doctor And I Found There Was More Than A Wire In My
Knee Than I Previously Thought. After Taking X-Rays The
Doctor Called Me In To Review Them, He Said That 
Everything Looks Good And Healed. I Just Looked At The
X-Ray For A Couple Of Seconds B/C It's Kinda Useless 
For Me To Look At Them If I Do Not Understand Them And
Do Not Know What I Am Looking For, But When I Saw The
X-Ray Of My Knee I Knee A Couple Of Things Sticking Out
Of It Or Stucked To It Then I Asked Him When I Push On
A Part Of My Knee It Hurts. So He Goes And Pushes On 
The Part I Showed Him Pretty Hard And Causes Me Pain
And Says As You Can See By Looking At The X-Ray You
Can Pushing On The Pins In Your Knee. So Then I Found
Out There Are Two Pins, Two Screws, And One Wire In My
Knee And I Thought It Was Gonna Stay In There FOREVER
But He Said Once I Am Fully Recovered Which Is A Year
I Will Have A Surgery To Take Them Out. At That Point
It Came To My Mind That Could Have Been The Reason Why
I Did Not Make It Pass The Metal Detector At Traffic
Court. So Later That Night While Doing My Exercises I 
Was Feeling Up On My Knee And I Felt The Screws On The
Bottom Of My Knee. It Sure Gross Me Out For The First
Couple Of Days But It Does Not Anymore.

The Second Thing That Happen Since My Last Update Is
That The Nurse That Comes Weekly On Mondays Will Stop
Coming B/C I Got Discharged From The Program B/C She
Caught Me Driving By Myself Which I Guess Is Against
The Program's Rules And Regulations. All I Can Say Is
Oh Well, She Did Not Do Much, Just Check On My Wounds
And Bring Supplies. My Wounds Are Mostly Healed And I
Do Not Need Her As Much Or At All, Kinda Almost A Waste
Of My Time. Since Driving On My Own Or Going Anywhere
Outside My House Except The Doctors Is Against Their
Rules And Regulations Then I Would Have Been Discharged
The First Week I Was Enrolled Into The Program B/C I 
Left The House In My Cast And Couple Of Times Every
Week After That Especially Recently Which Has Been
Pretty Much Everyday. So Yea I Guess It Was Good That
It Lasted As Long As It Did.









Thu., Sept. 29 :

Sorry I Haven't Been Updating For A While Or Online
Recently. My Computer Crashed About A Week Ago And I 
Haven't Had Time To Fix It. It's Up And Running Now.
I've Been Dealing With 12 Hour Days Most Of The Time
Or Sometimes Longer. Now It's Time To Try To Get Back
To Normal.


That's Right All, I Went Riding Yesterday. Exactly 4
Months After My Accident I Hopped Back On To A
Motorcycle And Went Riding For A Bit. Cesar Let Me
Borrow Is Bike Under One Condition And That Is To NEVER
Ask To Borrow It Again, LOL. It Was Fair Enough For Me.
An And I Rode From Cesar's Bros House To The Starbucks
On Bernal For Some Coffee B/C Gabe Was Working And An
Owed Him Money For Something Years Ago He Said. So That
Is All The Riding I Got In Yesterday, From Cesar's Bros
House To Starbucks And Back. The Ride To Starbucks Was
Not All The Bad, I Think I Got A Little To Excited B/C
I Was Speeding Like A Mother Fucker And Didn't Even
Notice That I Didn't Even Look At The Speedometer Once.
I Was Just Going With The Flow, The Flow That It Wasn't
Fast Enough For Me. An Said I Hit 100-120 MPH Going
Down Monterey Road, It Didn't Seem Like It To Me. Hope
Cesar Isn't Mad That I Went That Fast On This Bike B/C
We Both Found Out How Fast I Went When An Told Us. Plus
Cesar's Speedometer Is Analog And Not Digital Like The
Other Bikes I Have Ridden So It's A Little Hard To
Read. I Didn't Enjoy Riding Again As I Thought I Would,
Like How I Used To Enjoy But It's Probably I Was Too
Excited To Ride Again And Kept On Pushing It, I Had
Some Anger To Release So I Kept On Pushing It, It
Wasn't My Bike Or Gear. It Could Be Any Of Those Things
Or A Combination Of Those Things. I Know I'll Probably
Enjoy Riding Like I Used To When Things Get Back To
Normal And I Have My Own Bike. I Think My Riding
Ability Is In The 80-90% Of What I Used To Be. Just
Need To Work Out My Left Leg Some More And Ride More
Too, HaHa. Yesterday, I Was Just Riding In The Moment
And To Get It Out Of My System From Not Riding For
Quite A While.

I Still Want To Ride And Still Looking For A Bike To
Borrow N Ride, It'll Be Just For The Day Only. I Can
Ride You Along Too If You Want And Trust Me (Girls Only)
So LET ME KNOW



Fri., Sept. 30:

So I Saw Something Funny On The Way To Work Yesterday
Or It Was Funny To Me. As I Crossed Capitol Expressway
On McLaughlin, There Is A Island Where Homeless People
Stand And Beg For Money For Who Knows What (People Tell
Me It's For Alcohol, LOL) I Always Thought It Was For
Food (Its Gotta Right?) Can't Live Off Alcohol. On
This Particular Day There Was The Usual Homeless Guy
And Then There Was This Homeless Lady. They Were
Arguing About Something, So I Started To Think What
They Would Be Arguing About. I Came Up With This, He
Was Probably Telling His Girlfriend/Wife/Bitch, What
Ever Homeless People Call Their Partners (I Don't Know
How They Do It), To Go Back To Their Dirt Hut B/C She
Was Distracting Him At Work And He Would Get Less Money
If She Was There. And I Knew She Was Hopeless Too B/C
Her Hair Was Dirty (Dirty Blonde), Her White Skin Had
Dirty On It, And I KNOW There Were No Trailer Parks
Around, LOL. Yea, So I Thought That Was Funny.

When I Was Writing That Homeless Story, It Reminded Me
Of A Bum Story Couple Of Years Ago. It Was In Front
Of Thanh Houng (The Viet Sandwich Place). As I Was
Walking In There Were Bums By The Door And I Hear Them
Yelling About What Percentage Of The Shit They Are
Supposed To Get, So One Guy Yells I Want 70% Of The
Shit. I Thought Nothing Of It, Thinking They Are
Arguing Of Something They Came Up On Being Bums n All.
So I Buy My Food And Come Out And They Are Still
Arguing, But This Time I Hear It Took A Lot Of Work To
Get 6 Inches Of Shit Out Of My Ass. So Apparently They
Were Actually Talking About SHIT And The Guy That
Shitted The Shit Out Got Mad At The Other Guy And
Wasn't His Shit With Him Anymore. I Know Nasty Huh? LOL



Sun., Oct. 2:

Maybe You Guys Have Hear Of This Joke On The Radio,
But Of Those You Haven’t Let Me Tell You Of This Funny
Joke That Keeps Popping In My Mind. This Mexican Guy
Goes Massage Parlor Thinking It’s One Of
Those “Massage Parlors”. When He Gets There, He Sees
An Asian Woman Standing Outside And She Tells Him,
(Like An Asian Trying To Speak English) “You Come
Inside.” So He Thinks To Himself That It Wasn’t The
Kind Of Place He Thought It Was, So He Declines To
Come In. As He Walks Away The Asian Woman Says “No,
No, No You CUM Inside.” He Finally Gets What The Woman
Means And Walks In. LoL, Funny Huh?!?



Wed., Oct. 5:
Here Are Some Quotes That Got My Attention From Shows
I've Been Watching:

Andrew (About Phyllis): I Know She's Probably A Bitch,
But She's Family; That Makes Her Our Bitch.
   Desperate Housewives - S2, E1


Gabrielle Solis: Why Are All Rich Men Such Jerks?
Carlos Solis: Same Reason All Beautiful Women Are Bitches.
   Desperate Housewives - S2, E2


Mary Alice (Voiceover): Control...To Lose It Is To Put
Our Fate Into The Hands Of Others, And What Could More
Dangerous?
   Desperate Housewives - S2, E2


Meredith Grey: What Was I To You? The Girl You Screwed
To Get Over Being Screw?
Derek Shepherd: You Know Like Coming Up For Fresh Air?
It Was Like I Was Drowning And You Saved Me.
That's All I Know.
    Grey's Anatomy - S2, E1






Mon., Dec. 19 :

Here Are Some More Quotes That I Thought Are Good From
Some Shows I Finally Got A Chance To Watch.
Hopefully I Will Do More Updating Soon. . . . 


Desperate Housewives S2, E10 - 8/10

Why do we listen again and again? Because these are
the stories of family. And once we look past the
fighting, pain, and the resentment, we occasionally
like to remind ourselves, there is absolutely nothing
more important.


Grey's Anatomy S2, E10 - 8/10

Yang: What the hell is this?
Burke: It's a key.
Yang: Why?
Burke: Why is it a key? Are we feeling existential
this morning?
Yang: Well, if the key turns in a lock, and no one
asked for the key or even wanted the key, does it make
a sound?


Grey's Anatomy S2, E11 - 8.5/10

Living With A Woman Who Can't Love You Back, Way
Lonelier Than Being Alone



Fri., Feb. 3 :
A Palm Reader/Horoscope Guy Came Into My Work Asking
Us If We Wanted Our Hand Read, So My Dad Says No And
Walks Away B/C Wasn't His First Time Here. I Also Told
Him No While Sitting On A Stool Across The Counter
From Him. As My Dad Walked Away He Said That My Dad Is
Going To Live A Long Life B/C Of The Stress Marks Or
Lack There Of On This Forehead. Then He Started
Reading And Talking About Me. The Stuff He Said About
Me That I Remember Are That I’ve Been Stressing A Lot
Lately B/C I’ve Been Thinking A Lot And That I’m Happy
Inside But Not Out B/C I’ve Been Thinking So Much. He
Said That I Will Live Like A King, I Have Had My Heart
Broken Before, But There Are Two Women In Love With
Me, A Tall One And A Short One. At One Point, He Asked
Me To Two My Name Then I Said Free; He Said No Not
Free, It Is Only $10. I Told Him If You Could Read Me,
You Know I Am Broke And Cannot Afford It. The One
Thing He Stressed About Most Throughout His Reading
Was That I Should Listen And Take Care Of My Mom And
Dad, And If I Do That, I Should Be Happy And Get What
I Want. He Said This Even After I Decline To Pay For
His Services And Before He Left And After The
Following Incident. Before I Tell You Incident, Let Me
Tell You Where I Stand With Him So Far. His Was
Reading Right, Telling Me True Things Like How I Am
Stressing B/C Of Too Much Thinking And Things That I
Want To Happen For Me Like Living Like A King. So
Practically Believing Him, Then Asks Me If I Was From
Korea. I Just Laughed And Told Him I Am Vietnamese And
Born Here. That Rather Lowered My Confidence In Him
But His Reading Was Very Enlightening Nevertheless. I
Am Always A Sucker For These Kinds Of Things Along
With Horoscopes.



Sat., Feb. 11 :
I Guess You Do Not Realize How Great It Was Until
After Or When It Is Gone. I Think Realizing After Is
Better Than When It Is Gone. After, You Can Enjoy That
Greatness With That Person And Be Able To See That And
Create Future Greatness. Gone, The Greatness Was
Realized Too Late And Now That You Can See The
Greatness, There’s Nothing You Can Do About It Anymore
And All You Want To Do Is Get The Greatness
Back. . . . .

I Am Going Towards The Gone Side And I’m Trying To Go
Back The Other Way, But I Think It’s Too Early To Tell
If I’m Really Going There Or If I Can Come From Behind
And Make A Come Back.




Tue, Feb. 14 :
Love Or Infatuation?

That Is The Question I Was Asked. What Is My Answer?
It Is Love. The Person That Asked Me Believes It Was
Infatuation. How Can It Be When You Wanted This Person
For Over Four Years And See Forever With This Person
As Soon As You Get Her. See The Present And Future
With This Person. See Her As My Friend, Best Friend,
Girlfriend, Soul Mate, Wife, Mother Of Your Children,
Grandmother Of Your Children’s Children, My One, My
Only, My Everything. It Is Her And Only Her, No One
After, No Ands, Ifs Or Buts.

Was It Someone I Could Not Have Therefore I Am
Infatuated With Her? No, It Is Not. I Did Have Her
Even Though Officially Together For A Week Or So. It
Was Just Her And Me For A While So It Not Infatuation
Of Someone I Could Not Have And It Is Love.

I Have Messed Up Before And Knew It. I Was Able Let Go
And Move On Because It Was For The Best. With Her I
Have Messed Up, Realized It, Changed, And Cannot Let
Go. Letting Her Go Would Be The Wrong Thing To Do And
A Very Big Mistake Right Now. It Can Only Be Love If I
Feel This Way. . . . .



Mon, Feb. 20 :
Meredith: I Have A Feeling
Derek: I Get Those
Meredith: Yea
Derek: Yea
Meredith: And?
Derek: If You Wait Long Enough It Passes
Meredith: Promise?
Derek: I Promise


Addison: Hey, Whatcha Doing?
Derek: Waiting For It To Pass
Addison: For What To Pass?

-Grey's Anatomy, S2 E17



Wed, Feb. 22 :

Irrational - adj:
Marked by a lack of accord with reason or sound judgment

Fears - n:
A feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger


-I Need My Rational And Irrational Fears To Be Calm...



Desperate Housewives - Season 2, Episode 12

Lynett's House - Part I

Tom: Hey, honey, good news. I checked on Penny, and
she didn't scream. I think she's getting used to the
mask.

Lynette: I don't want you to have options, Tom. If I
die, I want to hear your life would be over. I want
you to spend the rest of your life screaming, 'it
should've been me on that plane!

Tom: Plane?

Lynette: I'm assuming there was a crash. It could've
been something else.

Tom: Okay, okay, wait, wait, wait.

Lynette: Do you have any idea how painful it is to
hear about you even think about your next wife and
kids? I could never do that! I can't imagine my life
without you. You are my everything!

Tom: Honey, you’re my everything.

Lynette: Okay, well, that's easy to say, but I need
you to show me.

Tom: How?

Lynette: With a vasectomy.

Tom: Can't I just get you some flowers?

Lynette: Look, it makes perfect sense. We're not gonna
have any more kids. And, and the pill just makes me
bloat. It'll be great!

Tom: No, okay, Lynette, this is crazy.

Lynette: "Oh, I know! I know! But it is what married
people do. They go out of their way to calm each
other's irrational fears. Oh, come
on, Tom. I really need you to do this.

Tom: Okay. Fine, yeah. I'll make an appointment.

Lynette: Thank you.






Lynette's House - Part II

Lynette: Hey.

Tom: Hey.

Lynette: You're not limping. Did everything go okay?

Tom: I couldn't do it.

Lynette: What happened?

Tom: I don't know. I got there, I, I put on the paper
gown and I, uh, I just couldn't do it.

Lynette: Why not?

Tom: It felt like I was being emasculated.

Lynette: Oh, please.

Tom: I'm serious, Lynette. I don't make the money
around here anymore. I don't provide for you and the
kids. And I wasn't gonna let them snip out the last
thing that makes me a man.

Lynette: Staying home and taking care of the kids
doesn't make you less of a man. That's crazy.

Tom: You expect me to calm your irrational
fears. I expect you to calm mine.

Lynette: Are you saying you're unhappy?

Tom: A little bit, yeah.

Lynette: Well, what we gonna do about that?

Tom: I don't know.

Lynette: Well, can’t we just?

Tom: No, Lynette. I don't know.







Mon, Feb. 27 :
Damn, My Dad Got A Louis XIII de Remy Martin As A Gift Today




Sun, Mar. 5 :
Stupid Horoscope! It Couldn't Have Been More True, I
Was Nostalgic Towards The Situation When Things Started
To Go Wrong. I Didn't Want To Think About The Future
That Possibly Could Go Bad, I Wanted Things To Return
Like Before It Happened. Like The Horoscope Said "We
Can Only Make The Future Positive By Building On The
Past", Which Means Two Things To Me. First Is To Learn
From The Past And Apply It Accordingly In The Future.
Second Is From Reminiscing On The Past And Realizing
How Good It Was In The (Recent) Past, So You Build And
Do Everything You Can To Get Back To That Place.



March 04, 2006 - Leo Horoscope - July 23 - August 22

You're in a sentimental, nostalgic frame of mind, far
more interested in thinking about good times from the
past than in looking toward the future. The good news
is that we can only make the future positive by
building on the past, so even if you've resolved to
forget it all, the best will stay with you. Don't
hesitate to pull out those scrapbooks and photo
albums -- but no arguing, no matter who's in the room.
If anyone can make the best of it all, it's you.



Wed, Mar. 15 :
A New Wells Fargo Check Card



Like Wells Fargo Hasn’t Changed Their Card Enough
Times Over The Last Few Years. The Reason For This
Change Is Probably Due To The New Visa Logo. I Must
Say It Looks Pretty Nice, More Modernized And Simply.
I Seen A Customer Use It The Other Day And Wondered
About It So I Checked Wells Fargo Website For It. I
Remember They Had The Brown ATM Card With Horses
Printed On It For Years, For Well Over 15 Years. I
Tried To Find A Picture Of It But Could Not Obtain One.


-------------------------------------------------------
Gas Killer. . . .

I Realized I Could Be Somewhat Of A Heavy Footer,
Speeder, And Gas Killer. Okay, Okay, I Am All Of Those
Things. I Always Knew That I Was Speeder But Now I
Know That I Have A Heavy Foot And Am A Gas Killer. 
	I Always Thought I Got Bad Gas Mileage Because
My Car Was Old And That Being The Powerful Car That It
Is, It Required More Gas Than Most Cars. Presently I
Am Getting An Average Of 16.5 Miles Per Gallon And
Roughly 250 Miles Per Tank On My Car. I Drove Sandy’s
Car While She Was Away For Business And Got About The
Same Miles Per Tank As I Did On My Car, Which Should
Be Good Because Her Tank Is Smaller Than Mine Is, Then
She Told Me She Is Getting At Least 300 Miles Per
Tank. We Switched Cars For A While And She Got Close
To If Not A Little Over 300 Miles On My Car While I
Was Still Getting 250 On Hers. I Did Not Think Much Of
It Other Than She Might Drive Slow. This Past Weekend
While I Was In Phoenix, I Left My Car To Ronald With A
Half Tank Of Gas In It. When I Got Back And Not
Surprisingly, My Tank Was Near Empty, The Surprising
Part To Me Was That He Had Almost 240 Miles On The
Trip Meter With Some Gas Left. When I Am At 240 Miles,
My Gas Light Is About To Turn On And Off With Me
Pushing It Another Day Before I Get Gas. When I Finish
Off The Rest Of The Tank, I Calculated The Miles Per
Gallon And It Came Out To 17.8, A Little Over 1 Mile
Per Gallon Than My Average. It Hit Me A Little Harder
That It Could Be Me, Which Is Causing The Poor Gas
Mileage.
	Now That It Hit Me That It Could Be Me, I Want
To Do Something About It. I Am Going To Change My
Driving Habit. Today, After Work I Will Fill Up My Gas
Tank And From Then On I Will Drive Like A Normal
Person Or How A Normal Person Should Drive Like, So No
More Heavy Foot, Flooring From A Stop, And Most
Importantly No More SPEEDING. For Those Of You That
Know Me, You Know That I Speed 99.5% Of The Time And
Do Almost Every Chance I Get. Therefore, Those That
Read This And Are In My Car At Some Point, Remind Me
Not To Waste Gas. This Will Be A Test Of My Discipline
Against Something I Love To Do And Am Accustom To
Everyday To Make A Difference On The Earth And My Gas
Mileage Among Other Things.


This Will Be Test Only For One Gas Tank. At The End Of
The Test, I Will Review The Results And Then Decide
Whether To Continue It Or Not. If It Barely Makes Any
Difference Then “Fuck It”, If It Makes A Sufficient
Difference Then I Will Think About Keeping The Change,
If I Can Stand It Of Course. I Will Keep You Guys
Updated.



Sun, Mar. 19 :
So The Other Day On The Way To Get Gas To Start My New
Driving Habit, I Decided To Try It Out While On The
Way To The Gas Station. I Was Going 45 Mph (The Speed
Limit) Down Capitol Expressway In The Slow Lane When I
See A Bus Rapidly Approaching In My Rearview Mirror So
I Had To Change Lanes In Order For The Bus To Pass Me
Up.

Here Are Some Comments On My New Driving Habit So Far,
It’s Only Been Roughly 30 Miles So It Is Hard To Tell
If There Is A Difference In Gas Mileage.

- I Forget I Have A New Driving Habit At First
  When I Hop In The Car.

- Did Not Know How Slow 25 Mph Was.

- I Quickly Reach The Posted Speed Limit And Do
  Not Realize It Until I Go 1 Or 2 Mph Over.

- I Look At My Speedometer More Than I Do The
  Road, But It Does Not Matter Since I Am Going So Slow
  Even Though It’s The Speed Limit.

- To Prevent Me From Speeding With My Heavy
  Foot, I Put On The Cruise Control Once I Hit The
  Speed Limit And I Have Done It Quite Often Lately
  Especially Going Down Mclaughlin Avenue.

- People Sometimes Even Drive Slower Than The
  Speed Limit, So There Are People At Both Ends Of The
  Spectrum, People That Go Over The Speed Limit And
  People That Go Under The Speed Limit. I Guess There
  Has To Be A “Balance”

So That’s All I Have To Comment So Far, More To Come
Later.


I'm Also Thinking About Starting A New Habit And That
Is To Have Breakfast Every Morning Before I Head To
Work, A Box Of Cereal Is Only $2 Now And A Gallon Of
Milk Isn't That Much Either, So Why Not. It's Cheap And
It's Good For Ya. We'll See If I Start It Though.


Sat, Mar. 25 :
Energy: 
1) The Capacity For Work Or Vigorous Activity; Vigor;
   Power
2) Exertion Of Vigor Or Power: A Project Requiring A
   Great Deal Of Time And Energy
3) Vitality And Intensity Of Expression: A Speech
   Delivered With Energy And Emotion
4) The Capacity Of A Physical System To Do Work

All The Energy. . . .

All The Lies, Mistreatment, And Betrayal. . . . .



To Hate Is To Care
I Don’t Hate, I Just DON’T CARE!



Sun, Mar. 26 :
To Care Is To Hurt

I'm Hurting Therefore I Don't Wanna Care Because
I Don't Wanna Hurt :-(



Mon, Mar. 27 :
I've Been Hurt So I'm Breaking And On The Verge Of Being
Broken. . . . ;-(



Wed, Mar. 29 :
"Waiting For It To Pass. . . ."

- I Don't Think It's Gonna Pass. It Might Be Taking Me
Down With It. . . . :'(



Sun, Apr. 2 :
Mary Alice: (voiceover) ... The choice to separate
from what we love is painful. ... The only thing
worse, was when someone we trusted makes the choice
for us.
-Desperate Housewives - S2, E17



-I Gotta Do What I Gotta Do B/C No One Is Going To 
Do It For Me.



Meredith (voiceover): So here's the truth about truth.
It hurts. So we lie. (Hurts B/C It Makes Them
Look/Feel Bad)



Mon, Apr. 3 :
Nothing In This World Is Created Equal. . . .
Including Windshield Wipers, When Majority Of The Time
The Drivers Side Is Longer Than The Passenger Side :-P


Sun, Apr. 9 :

Almost A Week Since My Last Update, So I Got Some
Updating To Do:


Quote:
"Accept People For Who They Are" 
I Couldn't Have Said It Any Better. What An Unselfish
Thing To Do.

Everyone In The World Is Different, You Either Accept
Them For Who They Are Or Don’t Accept Them At All. No
One Is The Same, If They Were, The World Would Be A
Very Boring Place.


-------------------------------------------------------
Some Reading For The Fellas:
 5 Women Every Guy's Gotta Date


-------------------------------------------------------
New Hard Drive:

I Recently Purchased A Brand New Maxtor SATA 300GB
Hard Drive Because I Was Running Out Of Space On My
200GB And Had To Burn Stuff On Dvds To Make Room For
The New Stuff

Woo Hoo, More Music And Shows
Hush. . . Don’t Tell The RIAA or MPAA :-P LOL


-------------------------------------------------------
Gas Test Results:

I Finish My Gas Experiment About 1 ½ Weeks Ago And The
Ending Result Is That I Gained 2.2 Miles More Per
Gallon Than I Did Before. I Am Up To 18.8 Mpg. Is
Driving Slow Like An Old Granny Worth An Extra 35
Miles A Tank, Saving $5 Per Fill Up, And Most
Importantly My Sanity? HELL FUCKIN’ NO! So I Filled Up
The Tank And Went Back To My Old Ways And Guess What,
I’m Doing Better Than I Did During The Test. For The
Test, I Was Driving 40 Miles With My Gas Light On To
Reach 300 Miles And Boy Was It Scary. Currently On My
Tank After My Gas Test, I Have 295 Miles On It And My
Gas Light Only Went On 10 Miles Ago.
-------------------------------------------------------



Thu, Apr. 13 :
Rachel Bilson : "I will say only this on
relationships: Trust and communication are the main
ingredients." 





Mon, May 15 :
A guy once said:
“We can’t blame each other for who we are”

-We should accept each other for whom we are.
Accepting someone who is not accepting does not count.


A show once said:
“…I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what
you broke…”

-I guess it can work both ways. . .


I guess sometimes people never seem to get it, but oh
well, what can you do. 
At the end of the day, all you can count on is
yourself.

-------------------------------------------------------

Kelly Clarkson - I Hate Myself For Losing You

I woke up today
Woke up wide awake
In an empty bed
Staring at an empty room
I have myself to blame
For the state I'm in today
And now dying
Doesn't seem so cruel
And oh, I don't know what to say
And I don't know anyway
Anymore

I hate myself for losing you
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?

You got what you deserved
Hope you're happy now
'Cause everytime I think of her with you
It's killing me
Inside, and
Now I dread each day
Knowing that I can't be saved
From the loneliness
Of living without you
And, oh
I don't know what to do
Not sure that I'll pull through
I wish you knew

I hate myself for losing you
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?

I hate myself for losing you
And oh, I don't know what to do
Not sure that I'll pull through
I wish you knew
And oh, I don't know what to say
And I don't know anyway
Anymore
No, no

I hate myself for losing you
(I'm seeing it all so clear)
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?
What do you say when everything you said
Is the reason why he left you in the end?
How do you cry when every tear you shed
Won't ever bring him back again?
I hate myself for loving you

-------------------------------------------------------

Keith Urban - Tonight I Wanna Cry

Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

Would it help if I turned a sad song on
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

------------------------------------------------------

Kelly Clarkson - You Found Me

". . .You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me
You found me. . . . .



Tue, May 16 :
You Don't Know It, But It's Killing Me Inside And I'm
Dying. . .



Thu, May 18 :
The Only Thing That Keeps Me Going Is The Future. . .



When One Door Of Happiness Closes, Another Opens; But
Often We Look So Long At The Closed Door That We Do
Not See The One Which Has Been Opened For Us.
- Helen Keller



The Point Is That We Can’t Help Who We Fall In Love
With.
-Meredith Grey: S2, E26


He Loves Me! I’ve Been Loved! That’s Something
Everyone Should Have, Once In Their Life. I’ve Been
Loved.
- Camille: S2, E27


I Just Try To Get From Sun Up To Sun Down. That’s Far
Into The Future I Can Handle.
-Finn Dandridge: S2, E27



Thu, May 25 :
Well, School Is Offically Over ;-P You Know What That
Means. John Works ALL DAY EVERYDAY :-/ And ALL WORK
Makes John . . . . . I'll Let You Decide What It Makes
Me, Hopefully Nothing Bad :-D


It's Been Over A Month Since The April 17 Tax Deadline 
And My Tax Refund Is Nowhere In Sight.

I Want My Money! The Money I Worked Hard For, HeHe

Kinda Worried B/C It's Taking A While, My Bro Got His
Weeks Ago And Both Of Ours Got Filed At The Same Time.

Hope I Don't Audited, That Would Be NO FUN!
My First Time Paying Taxes And They Want More, What
BITCHES! :-p



Tue, Jun. 6 :
First Things First, Happy HELL Day Ya'll! Yes, HELL
Day, It's 6/6/6.

So. . . . It's Been A Little Over A Year Since My
Catastrophic Knee Cap Shattering Motorcycle Accident,
One Year-One Week-2 Days-2 Hours-17 Minutes-37 Seconds
To Be Exact, But Who's Counting ;-P (Just Kidding About
The Minutes And Seconds) And It Went By With. . . .Well
Without Another Accident, Thank Goodness And God For
That.

So Where Am I A Year Later? I'm Hoping To Get The Bike
Fixed, Back Up And Running By The End Of This Week So
I Can Hop Back On And Start Where I Left Off. . . . .
To Enjoy The Adrenaline, Freedom, Stress Relieving 
Feeling That Riding Gives Me And It Couldn't Be At A
Better Time, A Much Needed Time. Watch Out For Me, I
Could Be Riding By A Vehicle Near You :-D


I Finally Found Out What Happen To My Tax Return Or
Lack There Of. First, In Order To Get A Tax Return,
Your Taxes Must Be Filed. That Was My Taxes, NOT FILED.
Our Tax Guy Did My Bros Taxes, So He Got His Return.
The Tax Guy's Wife Did Mine And She Was Scared To Do
Something So She Didn't Complete It And Waited Until
Her Husband Came Back To Do It But Even Then She
Forgot To Ask Him About It Until We Called And Asked
About Where Was My Tax Return.

So My Taxes Got Filed A Week Ago, 1 1/2 Months Late, 
But It Was Accepted, The Tax Guy Said. A Check Should
Be Expected After 4-6 Weeks Of Processing And Mailing.

That Sucks But It's Better Than Nothing And Getting
Audited. I Need The Money ASAP As Parts For The
Motorcycle Are A Lot Of $,$$$







Tue, Jul 11 :
Rock Bottom. . . . 

The Only Direction Left Is Up Or Die :-/






Tired Of Watching Reruns Of Your Favorite Shows On TV
Or Finally Caught Up With Last Season From Your Legally
Obtained Downloads AND Wondering When The Next Season
Comes Back On The Air?

I'm Here To Put Your Pondering To An End And To Start
Your Mind Blowing Anticipation :-P










Mon, Sept 4 :
Sometimes You Just Wanna Start All Over, But With Life, You Can't
The Best Thing You Can Do Is Do The Best With What You
Got. It Doesn't Mean You Can't Come Out On Top Or Are
At A Disadvantage.

You Just Have Motivation.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Happiness Lies In The Present, Not The Past Or Future,
The Past Is Far Too Gone, The Future Is A Bit Far Too Away,

It’s NOT:
I WAS Happy. . .
OR
I Will Be Happy WHEN. . .

It Is:
I Am Happy NOW. . .

If You’re Stuck In The Past Or Waiting For Something
To Happen In Order To Be Happy Then You Are Wasting
Your Time And The Opportunity To Be Happy NOW.



Sun, Sept 10 :
Two Random Thoughts That Have Been In My Head, Which I
Think Are Kinda Funny :-P

1) I’m Not Greedy, I Just Feel Like I Don’t Have Enough.

2) If You Kill Anyone, Kill An Ugly Person. The World
Will Be A More Beautiful Place.



 AND 

Coming In SPRING 2007!!!

















 The 2007 Honda CBR 600RR 



Tue, Sept 19 :

 From Wednesday, Sept 13, 2006 @ The Fillmore 

















Wed, Jan 3 :

"There Are Times When You Don’t Want To Or That You Can’t
But There Are Times That You Owe It To Them And Yourself
This Is One Of Those Times, I Am Indebt 
And I Will Pay My Dues
I Have To Let Go..."



Tue, Jan 16 :

First Day Back At The Gym After An Over 6 Month Absence

After Being Called A “Fatboy” A Few Times This Past
Weekend In San Diego For What Probably Is The First
Time In My Life I Have Been Called That. I Have Been
Called A “Fat Ass” And It Just Means That, I Have A
FAT “HUGE” ASS, Which I Think Is A Good Thing, Haha
J/K! Anyways, The Name Calling Have Giving Me The
Motivation, Which I Lacked Thus The 6 Month Absent
From The Gym (And A Broke Thumb) To Go Back To The Gym.

So I Get Dressed, Put On My “Time To Get Swoll” Away
Message, Jam Through The Freezing Cold To Start The
Car, Put The Heater On Medium, And Drive To The Gym. 
Upon Entering The Gym, I Show Them My Driver License,
Yes My Driver License (I Have Not Received My Bally ID
Back Yet, _ _ _ _!), The Guy Checks Me In And I Am Off
To Getting Back To My Regular Routine.

Starting Off With The Stationary Bicycle For Ten
Minutes In The Fat Burn Setting, I Did Very Good, I Go
By The Sustaining A High MPH Through The Ten Minutes
Which Is Compared To The Last Time I Exercised. During
Those Ten Minutes, I Felt Good About Working Out Again
And Being Back In The Gym Because Its Where I Belong.
It Was Just Too Bad That It Took Some Name Calling And
Slightly Fading 8-Pack To Get Me Back In There, But It
Is Okay Because I Am Back In There And I Am Going To
Get Back In Shape And Get Super Swoll. After Ten
Minutes Of Self Delight And Reacquainted With The Gym,
It Was Time For A Sip Of Water Before The Next
Exercise.

Now, To The Treadmill For My Fat Burning Walk (All The
Fat Burn Settings/Program Are Set At Low Heart Rate
For Reasons I Do Not Understand). So Three Minutes
Into My Walk, A Hot Bitch (The Reason I Call Her A
Bitch Is Because I Do Not Know Her Name And She Was
Showing Off And I Do Not Like That, HaHa :-p) Jumps On
To The Treadmill To The Left Of Me And Runs 3-4 MPH
Fast Than Me To Obviously Get My Attention Because Her
Speed Was Faster Than She Can Run Due To The Fact It
Seemed Like She Was Going To Fall Flat On Her Face.
And If You Know Me And The Leo I Am, I Am Not Going To
Let That Shit Happen, So I Crank Up My Speed. For The
First Minute Of The Increased Speed I Was Doing Fine
Then The Second Minute Comes And My Right Calf Starts
Cramping, So I Start Breathing Harder To Get Oxygen
Into The Muscle And It Kind Of Works. Fifteen Seconds
Later, My Left Calf Start Cramping And I Am Stuck With
Decision Of Running Through The Pain And Beat This
Bitch Or To Slow Down To Stop Further Damage. I Slowed
The Fuck Down Because I Am More Important Than Beating
This Bitch That I Do Not Even Know, LOL. So This Whole
Time I Barely Glanced Her Way And A Minute Back Into
My Fat Burning Walk, She Cranks Up Her Speed Even
Higher (Probably To Get My Attention) And Still I Do
Not Look, The Next Minute She Lowers It Back Down, And
The Next It Goes Back Up.  After Five Minutes Of The
Raising And Lowering Of The Speed, She Is Fed Up Of
This Game We Play And Presses The Emergency Button,
Immediately Grabs Her Stuff, And Leaves In Disgust. At
That Precise Moment, She Reminded Me How She Would Be
A Guy In How Guys Think With The Wrong “Head.” So Next
Time Instead Of Showing Off, Just Say Hi. . . Bitch
Haha J/K.

So After That Incident, It Was Off To The Bench Press
To See Where Things Stand With My Thumb And My
Strength, It Was Promising. Then It Was To Some
Crunches, DB Curls, DB Hammer, And Finishing With
Shrugs. It Was Not Too Bad For Being Off Over 6 Months
With A Broken Thumb Injury.  For Future Work Outs, The
Main Focus Will Be On Thumb Strengthening And
Running/Fat Burning Before Moving On To Other Areas.

Today’s Lesson:
  Take Things Very Slowly When Coming
Back From A Long Hiatus Of Working Out To Prevents
Injuries. And Don’t Let Show Off Bitches Change That,
J/K Again, Kinda!

Okay Off To Play With My Medical “Play Doh”



Sun, Jan 28 :

Jan. 26: A Night Out @ Studio 8
The Night Starts Off Like Every Time We Go Out, With
The An-ster Loading Up On Some “Mojo” (100 Proof So
Co) To Bring The Confidence Out From Within Him. He
Downs Half The Pint, Drinking It Like Its Coke-Cola 
And Chases It With Rockstar. I Down A Quarter Of The
Pint, Chasing It With Rockstar As Well. Then An-ster
And I Take One Last Swig Each, So Now With Our Tummies
Feeling Warm, It Is Time To Hit The Club. Mr.
MinhTFresh Drops Us Off At Studio 8 Shortly Before The
11pm Guest List Closes. So We Enter The Club And Join
The Rest Of The Cheap Asses (But Smart) That Does Not
Want To Pay Cover.  And Like Always, I Am Not Buzzed
Yet So We Get Ourselves LCs At The Bar. After We Take
Our Shot, We Check Out The Third Capacity Crowd And
Realized The Guy-To-Girl Ratio Is Not In Our Favor And
Know We Got Our Work Cut Out For Us. . . So On To The
Highlights Of The Night:



Highlight #1 (Good)
As We Checked Out The Crowd, We Notice These Two Hot
Girls Dancing Together And Reject Every Guy That Tries
To Dance With Them. So I Think They Are Either Some
Stuck Up Bitches, Have Boyfriends, Teasing, Or
Lesbians (Lesbians More Than Anything Else To Me.) To
Tell You The Truth, It Was Quite Discouraging, But Not
To Worry. Armed With AMFs, We Down It (I Finished Mine
5 Minutes After Anster Did, My Stomach Was Not Feelin’
It, Gotta Pace Myself :-p) So Ansters Confidence Is In
High Gear Along With His Good Taste In Women And His
Relentlessness To Pursue Them. We Head To
The “Lesbian” Girls, They See Anster, Me, Then They
Look At Each Other, Then They Split Up To DANCE With
Us Individually.  I Was Not Surprised As Much As I
Thought I Would Be If They Danced With Us For Some
Reason, Maybe I Did Not Have Time To, Had To Get To
The Dancing. We Started The Bumpin’ And Grindin’ (You
Know, The Touchy, Feel-ly, Grab-by, And  Rub-by,
HaHa :-D) From The Start. For The First 15-20 Minutes
It Was Going Good For The Both Of Us. Then Ansters
Girl (The Less Hot Of The Two, LOL, But Still Hot
Though) Left Him To Go “Somwhere” And My Quad/Thighs
Started Burning (Due To My Super Swoll Exercising The
Two Previous Days) But Things Were Getting Too Hot And
Heavy For Me To Leave, So I Toughed It Out For Another
10-15 Before Calling It Quits. I Could Not Risk My
Legs Giving Out, Me Falling On The Ground With The
Possibility Of Me Not Being Able To Get Up. I Love
Myself Too Much, LOL, And It Would Have Been
Embarrassing As Well, HeHe. I Did Not Realize This
Until Anster Mentioned It, But The Two Girls Were
Japanese, So Eat Your Heart Out Brian Nezbit! HaHa :-p

Anster’s Thought On This Highlight: They Were Two Hot
Girls And We Were They First Ones To Get Them So That
Is A Good/Pride Thing And A PLUS!



Highlight #2 (Bad, But Kinda Funny)
We Spot Another Pair Of Girls To Go After, So I Go Up
To The Hotter Girl (Of Course. High Standards, Thought
You Knew That By Now, HaHa, JK) And Ask Her To Dance
Then I See A Somewhat Disappointed Look On Her Face
Then She Says The Shocker, “My Friend Wants To Dance
With You?” So I Asked Her “How About You?” She
Replies “No, I Can’t. My Friend Wants To Dance With
You.” So I Was Like Fine, I Will Dance With Your
Friend (She Was Not Bad, Just Uh, A Little Thick
[Sorry, Do Not Know Of A Nice Way To Put It, But
Nothing Is Wrong With That Nor Is It A Bad Thing.]),
Will You Dance With My Friend. I Do Not Know What
Happen, But I Was Dancing With Her Friend And She Was
Dancing With Some Other Dude (Maybe She Said No To
Anster, Sorry Anster.) Okay, I Know I Am Not The Best
Dancer, But This Girl Had No Rhythm/Beat. She Was
Shaking Anything And Everything Whenever, We Were
Practically Bumpin’ And Grindin’ Our Knees. I Already
Have One Bad Knee And Did Not Want To Risk Another, So
It Was “Thank Goodness” That It Did Not Last Too Long
And Her Friend Grabbed Her To Go Somewhere.

My Thoughts On This Highlight: DAMN The Loyalty Girls
Have To Each Other. DAMN IT TO HELL, Especially If It
Does Not Work In My Favor, LOL.


Stay Tuned For Another Episode Of “A Night Out” Since
I Am A “Club Rat” According To g00fyXgUrL. ;-D










Sun, Sept 2 :

TV Show Airing Dates



Sun, Sept 23 :

Random Thought:
"T" For Tiger As In Crouching TIGER, Hidden Dragon.
Ding-Ding, We Have A WEINER!



Observations Over The Past Week:
*Please Note: Names Are Changed To Ensure Privacy.
 
Observation #1
Before: 
Templeton: Two Turkeys = Two Shots Of Wild Turkey

Wilbur: I Owe You Two Shots Next Time We Go Out
Because I Got ____________. 
a. Work
b. To Drive
c. To Wake Up Early
d. To Sleep More
e. All The Above

Now:
Captain: Two Turkeys = Two Shots Of Wild Turkey

Sailorman: Fuck Getting Shots At The Bar, Let's Go Buy
A Bottle And Finish It! [On A Wednesday] 


Observation #2
Before:
Tupac: Hey, Want You Wanna Eat?

Notorious B.I.G.: Pho

Tupac: OK, Let's Go

Now:
Marlon: Hey, Want You Wanna Eat?

Shawn: Pho

Marlon: Cool, Let's Get Fuuuucked Up/Smashed/Hammered/ShitFaced,
So It Can Taste Better


 
Observation #3
Before:
Rhie: I Got A Bottle Of Gentlemen's Jack 

Chong: Überwältigend [Awesome] Let's Take Some Shots

Now:
Britney: I Got A Bottle Of Gentlemen's Jack

Lindsay: Awesome! Let’s Finish The Bottle, All 750
milliliters Of It! 


Observation #4
Before: 
Pre-Drink, Go Out, Drink, Eat, Home

Now: Drink @ (House/Room/Shack/Bed/Floor), Drink, Go Eat, Home


 So The Question Is This, Is This What Alcoholics Or
Twenty-Three And Twenty-Three And Five Day Year Olds Do? 



Tue, Sept 25 :

Some Wonderful R&B/Slow Jams To Listen To And Some Comments On It:


Alicia Keys – No One
      - Beautiful Song Especially Her Singing! Very Powerful
	- "I Know People Will Try To Divide Something So Real
	So Til The End Of Time I’m Telling You There Is No One"


Rihanna – Hate That I Love You (Featuring Ne-Yo*)
	- Lovely Song 
	* Did You Know This Song Is About Rihanna And I?
Bet Ya Didn’t, It’s True. I’m A Player Like That :-D
	* I Was Supposed To Be In The Video But “They”
Said I Was Not Dark Enough For Her. That And I Can’t
Sing Plus Ne-Yo Wrote The Song And Sang It. It Is A
Music Video, They Lip-Sync, Haven’t You EVER Watched Making
The Video? I Can Do That! What Haters!


Ne-Yo – Do You
	- Well, Do You? Not You, You Right There. I'm
Not Talking About Anyone, But I Made You Look Didn’t I?



That Is It For Now,
-Player Out :-P














Email:  JMANS137@HOTMAIL.COM