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10/15/05 @ 2014

I'm FUCKIN Glad You Had Feelings For Me And That You 
Realized I Am Not The One You Should Be With.

Saying Sorry Doesn't Mean SHIT Anymore Coming From You.
It's Time For You To Be Sorry And I Hope You Get What
Is Coming To You.

Same Goes For Being Grateful, Is This How You Show That
You Are Being Grateful? And Don't Even Think About
Changing Your Mind B/C Of What I Said (If You're
Thinking So)

Yea, I Was There When You Needed Me Most And Where Are
You When I Need You? Exactly! No Where To Be Found. And
If I Could Have Your Help, I Wouldn't Want It Anyways.
I Can Go Through This Alone And By My DAMN Self.
Something I Hope You Will Learn.....

You Are So Lost And Confused That You Don't Know What
Or Who You Want. You Keep Jumping Between One And The
Other Especially When One Doesn't Work Out For You.

Give Yourself Some FUCKIN Time ALONE To Think And Feel
About Things, Decide And Stick It Out.

Your Indecisiveness Is Something I NEVER Liked About
You, It Shows Weakness. It Gets Me Worried And Now Hurt
As Well As A Turn-Off.

There Goes You Being Sleepy n Tired. HA!

Why Do You Always Make Me Regret The Things I Do For
You.....?
It's Not That I Hate You Or Anything, It Just Sucks
That Everything That Happened And Everything I Did, It
Still Came Down To This.




10/31/05 @ 2300

I knew that conversation I wanted to have with you was
going to lead to either you being mad or things being
over. And I was right, but I rather either of those
things happen when I brought it up than me not
bringing it up at all and me going everyday with a
little of uncertainty and questions unanswered. And
even though there are questions still unanswered, I
have no reason to know them anymore.

Lately I have felt suppressed by you, I am scared of
what to say or do around you fearing that I might make
you mad and you would not be happy with me. I could
not be my normal self with you. The reason why I felt
that way is probably because I liked you too much, but
not close to being in love with you, and maybe too
much than I should have or wanted too. I just cared
for you a lot and cared for your happiness because it
meant a lot to me. If you were happy then I was happy. 

I’m so fuckin’ lost on what I’m writing, I’m not sure
what I want to say anymore, so I’m just gonna say
whatever pops in my head.

FUCK!!!!!!!!

I can’t do this shit right now, I got so much to say
and I don’t know how to put it down in writing. I have
to do this another time.




02/02/06 @ 1116

Talk To Me When You Are Passed Your Ego. I Know I Can
Have A Big Ego Too, But Yours Never Deflates For Me.
Your Friends Do Not See It B/C You Deflate It For Them
B/C You Give Them Lots Of Respect And They Will Not
Hurt You. As For Me, You Are Afraid To Be Wrong And
Deflate Your Ego With Me For Whatever Reason, Maybe
You Have To Be The Right One In The Relationship And
Be In Control Or You’re Afraid That I Might Hurt You
Some How, Or Maybe You I Think I’ll Think Less Or You
Or Something, But Whatever The Reason You Just Do Not
With Me. I Don’t Think I Get A Lot Of Respect From
You. Here Is What I Think Of A Perfect Example Of What
I Am Talking About, Remember The Day We Went To
Safeway To Buy Stuff For Your Fondue Night. I Parked
On The Far End Of The Parking Lot And You Started To
Get Mad Wondering Why I Parked So Far. I Told You That
B/C They Locked The Other Doors At Night And Even Then
You Still Didn’t Believe Me Until Someone Walked Pass
The Door And It Didn’t Open. Then And Only Then You
Were Absolutely Wrong And Couldn’t Be Mad Anymore But
Even Still You Were Mad. Mad At The Fact That I Was
Right And You Were Wrong For Being Mad. I Know You Do
Not Like Being Wrong Or Losing To Me But That Is
Something You Have To Work On. I Think You Are Ever
Wrong Or Lose To Someone It Should Be Best If It Was
Me And Not Anyone Else, I Do That For You, But You Do
Not Do That For Me. It Should Be Okay For Us To Do
That With Each Other B/C We Both Should Look Pass
That, Not Judge Each Other, And Think Of Each Other
Any Different Or Less B/C We Love And Care For Each
Other. . . . .




02/27/06 @ 2234

You Just Do Not Get It. I Do Not Want To Be With You.
I Do Not Have To Be Nice To You But I Am. You Make It
Seem Like I Have To If I Want To Be With You, But I
Don’t. And Sometimes I Feel That Way To When I
Shouldn’t But I Give Into It Anyways But That Is No
Ones Fault But Mine. If I Did Want To Be With You, It
Would Not Only Be Me That Had To Be Nice, It Would Be
You Too. When We Were Trying To Be Together, I Admit
It Was I. Then I Was Being Good And Showing You That I
Have Changed But While I Was Doing That, You Were
Doing Shady Business Behind My Back. You Lied To Me,
You Were With Another, And You Practically Cheated On
Me. The Problem Before Was Just Me, Myself, And I.
Now, It Is You And Someone Else Which Is Far Worst
Than Just Me. As You Said, You Do Not Deserve Me Or Me
Being Nice At All. I Was Anyways, To Look Past It And
Be Nice To You And Much Without Getting Any Return,
But You Did Not See That. All You See Is That If He
Wants To Get With Me, He Has To Be Nice To Me. And The
Moment You Don’t See The Niceness Anymore, You Get Mad.
	I Know You Have Options But I Am Not One Of
Them. I Took Myself Out. When You Finally Decided To
Pick Me Or Thought You Did And I Should Be Grateful
That You Did, I Was Not A Choice To Begin With. If
Your Options Are Still Available, I Suggest You Use
Them.
	If You Thought, It Was Going To Work. I Do Not
Know How You Seen It As Me Doing Everything For You.
Or How You Expect It To Work When You Answer “None Of
Your Business” When I Ask You A Question. You Always
Told Me Later But Later Never Came And Now It Seems
Later Is Turning To Never. Or When You
Do Not Make Me Feel Okay About What You Did And Be
Sorry About It. Not When You Wear His Ring To The Club
That He Is Going To Be At. Do Not Expect Anything From
Me Otherwise; You Will Set Yourself For
Disappointment. Do Not Think The Nice Things I Do For
You Is Because I Want To Be With You Because I Don’t,
Not The Way Things Are, And If I Made You Feel That
Way Then I Am Sorry. Everything Is Not Okay Because You
Don't Make It Okay. It's You This Time, Not Me.
	If You Think I Am Still The Same And Have Not
Changed, That Is Fine. That Is Not The Case Though, I
Have Changed But There Is No Need To Show It To You. I
Rather Save My Time And Effort For Someone Else Now.