Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!

Official Guy Code

1. Introduction

2. Emotions

2.1: When legal to show

2.2: Techicalities

3. Faithfulness

3.1: Theft of specific items

3.2: Social Relations

4. Football

4.1: Basic fan duties

4.2: Teams to NOT like

4.3: Super Bowl (AKA: Guy Thanksgiving)

5. Music

5.1: Groups to like

5.2: Groups to avoid

6. Closing

1. Introduction

Hello. I am Phoenix, and I am putting together a legal document on the previously unwritten Guy Code. If you have any additions to make, E-mail me.

 

2. Emotions

Emotions: Something guys rarely show. There is a guide on what emotions guys CAN show, and the correct timing of them.

2.1: When Legal to show:

Emotions can only be shown at the following: Funerals, relgious holidays, when your favorite football team wins, etc. Weddings are NOT a time, unless it is a direct relation (See Technicalities). Be careful when showing emotion in public places. It can lead to severe humiliation. Funerals are the only time severe emotion (Deep sorrow, watering eyes, crying, etc.) is legal.

2.2: Technicalities:

Weddings: You may show emotion if you, your son or daughter, or sibling is getting married. Football: Cursing and sadness are legal. Crying is legal if your favorite team lost the Super Bowl.

3. Faithfulness

Ah, yes, being faithful to friends and your fellow man. Read this carefully, Hoo-Man.

3.1: Theft of specific items:

You should not steal or borrow anything without permission, ESPECIALLY BEER! If you are a true man, you will share beer and not be greedy. This is how it is meant to be. "Borrowing without permission" counts as theft. This holds true for women as well, and is a universal code.

3.2: Social Relations

If someone you are friends with is an outcast, don't leave him hanging. If they come to you and are outcasts, only leave him hanging if you don't like him or he's annoying. If you are popular, bring him to your level, unless he is universally hated by all. This helps raise friendship, and is nice.

5. Football

Enough girl talk, let's get to the important stuff. Football, loved by all men, has many strict laws. Adhire to them or be mocked and dissed by your fellow man.

4.1: Basic fan duties

If you are a fan, you must see at least one of their games in your whole life. If you are a fan, you must never, or VERY rarely, miss a game. If you are a fan, you must own at least one memrobillia item of that team. Invite other common fans over to watch the game. This will gain you respect from fellow fans.

4.2: Teams NOT to like:

Some teams blow so badly, you should not like them unless they are local. Here's the list: Indianapolis Colts, Cleaveland Browns, Bailey Bears, Army, and Auburn. Heed thy warning, Hoo-Man.

4.3: The Super Bowl

This is a time for men to gather, eat like hogs, watch God's great sport, and have a kick-ass time. Holding a party is a great way to get respect, and hope your fave team(s) make it. But, there is one thing to avoid: HALFTIME SHOWS. Talk about the game, bitch about bad plays, and have a good time with your friends. That's what Guy Thanksgiving is all about.

5. Music

Music. All men love some form of it, whether it be you favorite football team's fight song, or rock. This is what to like and not to like.

5.1: Groups to like:

Here is a list of groups that most regular men like. If you do not like at least one of these groups, please start or risk your manhood. AC/DC; Kiss; Dr. Dre, Eminem; KoRn; Limp Bizkit; Bob Sieger; .38 Special; etc.

5.2: Groups to avoid: If you like any of the following groups, you have lost your right to listen to music forever. N'Sync, Basckstreet Boys; New Kids on the Block; LFO; Phil Collins; any boy bans not mentioned; Toge+er.

6. Closing

Leave this well of knowledge a bit wiser, Hoo-Man. If you are female, chances are you understood none of this. If you did, *pause*, don't spoil the surprise for others. Pass this to as many as possible.

-Phoenix, Lord of Cheez Whiz