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How to be annoying

Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".

Staple papers in the middle of the page.

Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.

Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

Honk and wave to strangers.

Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

Leave someone’s printer in compressed-italic-cyrillic-landscape mode.

ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

only type in lowercase.

dont use any punctuation either

Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.

Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".

Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells until physically restrained.

Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".

As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.

Sing the "This is the song that never ends..." song.

Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

Name your dog "Dog".

Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

Ask people what gender they are.

Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl.

Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot".

Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. (Note: not reccomended in New Orleans)

Ask to "interface" with someone.

Sing along at the opera.

Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy".

Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".

Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook.

Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."

Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.

Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

Never make eye contact.

Never break eye contact.

Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

Construct your own pretend "tricorder", and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

Make appointments for the 31st of September.

Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know.