On most of the sounds, it may start and stop a few times. You may have to push the stop button and play it again until you hear the whole sound.
Jack: Iím an ass kicking fat kid! Ozzy: What? Jack: Nothing. Hear it! Jack: Dude, how did my sisterís underwear just get mixed up with mine? You know, thatís just wrong! Hear it! Kelly: I donít really care what people think of my hair, If they like it or not, like, itís not their hair, so I donít really care. Ooh, that rhymed. Hear it! Kelly: Youíre so f***king violent! Jack and Ozzy: Shut up! Hear it! Ozzy: Iím stuck on the weather channel, aah! Hear it! Sharon: Well Iíll tell you what. Iím Ozzy Osbourneís wife now shut the f***k up and go to bed! Hear it! Sharon: That mother f***ker! Where is he? Hear it! Episode 2-Dog Days Jack: But who let the dog out? Sharon: Jack, shut up! Jack: (sings) Who let the dog out? Sharon: Shut up and clean it up, now! Hear it! Sharon: Letís talk aboutÖum, Lola and her f***cking one way ticket. Jack: Letís not and talk about Minnie and her ticket to the freeway! Hear it! Kelly: Minnieís a bitch. Sheís just an evil cow, that just loves all the attention, but she wonít let me touch her. Sharon: Kelly, sheís gonna make a leap at your face in a minute, and your gonna- Minnie: (Barks at Kelly) Hear it! Kelly: I have something to tell you. My thong is so far up my crack right now, I couldnít even pull it out! Sharon: Iíll cut it! Hear it! Kelly: Aimee wears a thong every single day, and right now she is wearing a thong of mine. Itís been up my crack, and now itís up her crack, and Iím not down with that. Hear it! Ozzy: You donít need a therapist, you just need to get up at seven and open the f***ing door! Hear it! Ozzy: Turn the f***ing thing (vacuum) off, itís driving me mad, man! Hear it! Episode 7-Thanks For Nothing Kelly: Jack likes to wrap presents in tin foil. Hear it! Ozzy: Iíd rather be here then in Afghanistan right now. Hear it! Ozzy: Where were you hiding today? Sharon: The room. Ozzy: In the hotel? Jack: We were like two floors below you. Ozzy: You bastards. Hear it! Ozzy: All my f***ing damn career is about f***ing bats! Hear it! Sharon: Heís stoned! Is he singing? Hear it! Sharon: Kelly. Kelly: What? Sharon: I dropped my collar down the toilet! Hear it! Episode 8-No Vagrancy Dill: God, Iím so hungover! Hear it! Dill: I was the middle kid, I was always the middle, little kid! AndÖwell actuallyÖI was the last kid! Hear it! Dill: Iím a f***ing pro skateboarder, Sharon. Donít talk down to me! Hear it! Jack: I mean, you could come back. You just have to be like, immediately. Oh, you just stepped on the catís tail, didnít you? Hear it! Kelly: Itís just as bad as when you s**t in dadís bag of weed when we were in Hawaii. Hear it! Sharon: Oh, I see, this is very nice. Kelly: Mom. Sharon: What? Kelly: Just leave it. Sharon: No, Iím gonna take a piss in it then put it back. Kelly: Mom, are you nuts? Hear it! Kelly: Sheís pissing in the bottle. Donít you dare, mom! Sharon: If you tell him, Iíll kill you! Kelly: Mom! Hear it!
Ozzy: Kelly, please, Iím talking. Shut the f**k up! Kelly: Iím not talking! Ozzy: Shut the f**k up! Kelly: Noooo! Hear it! Kelly: Shut up, dad. Ozzy: Why are you so f**king god d*mn rude to me? Kelly: Because youíre talking about, I donít go to hospitals unless they give me heroin, Iím sorry, I donít really want to hear you talk about that. Ozzy:ÖI love you. Kelly: F**k off! Hear it! Ozzy: How do you wake up, Jack? Jack: I wake up and- Kelly: Jack wakes up, j**kís off and then goes out to try to find as many women as he can because heís famous from a TV show. Jack: Thatís right. Ozzy: Put your hand there, son. Jack: Thank you. You see, and is there anything wrong with that? Hear it! Ozzy: I went to the playboy mansion twice. F**king incredible building. Kelly: Everytime I get invited mom will never let me go. Ozzy: You know whyÖw-w-we never let you go? CauseÖoh forget it. Hear it! Ozzy: (Sings)SmileÖ Kelly: F**k off! Ozzy: (Sings)SmileÖ Hear it! Ozzy: I go up to Prince William and I say, ďexcuse me, whereís the toilet?Ē And he goes, ďI donít f**king know!Ē Hear it! Ozzy: Sheís (Kelly) like on the top five listÖfor them to get in bed with. Jack: So am I. Kelly: Oh, you wish, Jack. Hear it! Ozzy: Shush the f**k up, man, Iím trying to talk, youíre pissing me off! Oh, a red ferrari! Hear it!
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