Goodbye Is Not Forever

Ahhhhh! Another fanfic, eh? This is one fic that made me cry up a storm… Read it and e-mail me if you like it… =)
When you see ***someone’s name*** then that means it’s being told from the person’s point of view.
Warning! Some dialogs are not suitable for young audiences. Parental Guidance is encouraged. (Hehehe…)

Disclaimers: Do we have to bother with this? C’moooooon! Let’s not waste any typing space!

***Heero***
It was impossible. My brain tried to register the words coming out of Duo’s mouth, but none made sense and my head screamed in pain. Fear gripped my heart and squeezed at it, making it harder for me to breathe. I inhaled sharply and listened to my friend.

“Heero, listen to me. I’m so sorry, but Relena is dying. She’s in the hospital right now.”

“Since when, Duo? Tell me!”

Strangely enough, my voice didn’t sound too good. It was hoarse and my heart beat wildly in my chest.

“She was rushed to the hospital after sustaining two gunshot wounds. The bullets were lodged in between her lungs and she’s now in critical condition. It doesn’t look too good,” Duo replied, his face a grim mask.

I suddenly felt faint and the blood rushed from my face. Relena, dying?

I ran out my apartment and screamed, punching my fist on the hard stone wall.

“RELENA!”

***Duo***
Heero ran out of the apartment, and soon, I heard him scream. I knew he would not take the news lightly for Relena was his other half, something that he, himself, tried to deny. I understood that he loved her dearly but kept pushing her away when she tried to help him. I had received news that Relena would be attending a conference on one of the newly built colonies called LX79361. Sally Po and Ms. Noin had informed me that there was a plan to assassinate Relena and I had wanted to notify Heero right away.

~*Flashback*~
“Duo! Do you copy? This is Brigadier General Sally Po and Commander Noin. Do you copy?”

I stretched my arms and yawned lazily, bending over to bring up the screen of the videophone. Sally’s face appeared on the screen, creased with worry. I instantly alerted myself. Whatever was troubling her and Ms. Noin had to be BIG.

“Oi, Sally/Ms. Noin, what’s wrong?” I asked, tossing my braid over my shoulder and frowning.

"I’m afraid we have a problem, Duo. Vice Minister Darlian has gone to a conference on the newly built colony, LX79361 and she did not bring along any security.”

“And? What’s so unusual about that? ‘Jousan’s a big girl, she can take care of herself.”

Noin shook her head, brows furrowing. Her blue eyes were filled with such intense worry, that even I started to get nervous.

“Duo, you misunderstand. We received reports of a plan to assassinate Relena. Worse, we found out too late. She had already gone to the colony without us.”

“WHAT?!” I roared, “H-how could that have happened? Oh, maaaan! I gotta warn Heero now.”

“We’re trying to contact him, but he is on another mission, Duo. You have to find him before something happens to Relena!”

“Ryoukai!” I nodded, closing the screen. I dashed over to the computer and started typing furiously, trying to contact Suicide Boy.

The screen blinked once, then twice, before a familiar face materialized. Half of me wanted to bring the screen to a close, but I steadied myself and stared into the face of the man who had put me through all my misery.

“Ahoy, my little Shinigami! Is something amiss?” He cocked one eyebrow and wheezed out a hacking cough.

“Dr. G,” I bit out. “Something’s come up. Have to find Suicide Boy now.” I was frantic and I had no time to argue with the mushroom-headed shrink.

“Duo, we know about the plot to kill Vice Minister Darlian. We’ve tried notifying Heero several times, but it seems that he does not want us to know about his mission until it is completed. His link was completely cut off.”

I felt faint and pounded a fist into the hard table. “Damn! Stupid shit! Oh God, what the fuck can we do now?!”

A small voice in my head seemed to mock me. ‘Ohohoho! Not even Shinigami can do a thing! Pathetic.’

“Thank you anyway, Doc. I’ll keep trying to contact Heero. Please do, as well.”

“Acknowledged, Duo.”

~*End of Flashback*~

***Heero***
I walked through the busy streets, unaware of the people around me.

‘It’s impossible,’ I thought to myself. ‘Relena isn’t dying. She can’t die. She’s a strong woman and I know I’ll see her tomorrow, and in the days to follow. I’ll see her sweet smile and hear her musical voice all the days of my life. She can’t be taken away from me. Not just yet…’

All my thoughts were on my Relena. Strange how I called her mine. I had never staked my claims to her, but she felt like home to me and I felt she was all I had in the world that mattered. I loved her; there was no denying that.

However, I was so afraid to tell her, even look at her.

So, I had to content myself with protecting her, constantly reminding myself that it was my duty and nothing more.

Even so, I felt empty. She was always so close and yet, seemed so far. It was ironic.

Guilt stabbed me, for though she had tried to help me on numerous accounts, I kept pushing her away. My pretense was there and it hurt her.

I could hear the soft whimper in her voice each time she called out to me and I could feel the ache in her heart.

“Stupid! Stupid!” I cursed myself, biting my tongue to keep from crying.

I was The Perfect Soldier, I wasn’t supposed to be seen like this. But, I couldn’t hold back the tears that formed in my eyes and before I could stop it, a single drop made its way down my cheek.

Why hadn’t I thought of leaving my link the way it was, instead of terminating it? They had probably known about what was going to happen beforehand, and they had tried contacting me.

Of all the stupid things I could think of, this was taking its toll. Because of my obstinacy, I could no longer have Relena by my side.

She promised she would never leave me. Never leave me to bear my sadness alone. But it looked like she would leave me now, with nothing more than my memories.

~*Flashback*~
“Relena, why do you still follow me?” I asked. I was standing under a tree, on a cliff overlooking the city.

She stopped short in her tracks and laughed. Her voice was a musical sound that sent shivers down my spine. I hated to admit it, but I couldn’t live without hearing the beautiful notes of her voice.

“Because you need help, whether you like it or not. And aside from that, I’m stubborn as Hell.”

“Are you not afraid of me? Of what I am capable of doing to you and others?”

I needed to know how she felt. If she did fear me, I would shoot myself on the spot.

Her angelic face softened and she shook her head.

“No, Heero. You are merely human and you still have a heart, hidden in the deepest recesses of your soul. I do not fear you, only your gun. That’s the truth.”

My heart soared at her words and expanded with some new feeling that scared me. I stepped closer to her and took her small hands in mine. She stared at me, a confused look registered on her face.

“Heero, you keep staring at me. What is it? Are you checking your reflection or something?” she added, trying to put a little humor in the air around us. I could hear her heart palpitate and my own was beating so fast and it seemed louder than the noise in the city below.

“You’re beautiful,” I said simply, keeping a steady gaze on her face and her hypnotic sea-green eyes.

She licked her lips unconsciously, and gave a nervous laugh.

“Whatever I was expecting, it sure wasn’t that.” She was trying to make the atmosphere funny, but she only succeeded in making me want to hold her.

I enveloped her in a tight hug, hearing her surprised gasp. I felt shock driving through my system. Her body was warm and fitted against me perfectly. Her lithe form was of graceful, soft curves. Her backbone, surprisingly, was as strong as steel and her scent surrounded me, drugging my senses.

She looked up and I nearly lost my composure. Her eyes were drowning me, the angle of her face so close to mine. Her lips were parted slightly, just enough to beg a kiss. Just enough to…

I leaned her against the tree and bent my head lower, our breaths mingling, her mouth a millimeter away from mine. She closed her eyes and I heard her soft whisper.

“Heero…”

I leaned in for the kiss, feeling the touch of her tender lips on mine. I felt myself spiraling out of control and I deepened our kiss, feeling her respond. My tongue explored her mouth as my hands found their way inside her blouse. She had me now and I didn’t regret it. She was anything and everything to me.
I broke away from her and continued to kiss her slender neck. My hands trembled, and my fingers fumbled with the buttons of her blouse, almost tearing it in my desperation to get closer to her.

She gasped again and started to say something incoherent.

“Heero, someone might see us…”

“Every couple who comes to this place has done the same thing,” I answered, undoing the clasp of her bra. “And besides,” I continued, “they have the decency not to disturb us.”

I kissed her again, shedding off my own shirt and I lay her on the long grass, admiring the way the sunset bathed her body in a gentle glow.

She looked up at me, her eyes questioning me if I really wanted this. I merely nodded. This was what I had ALWAYS wanted.

“Aishiteru, Relena…”

“Aishiteru, Heero. Itsumo aishiteru.”’

I held her close, savoring the moment. She traced a pattern across my chest and kissed the scars left there by the genetic testing and by different wounds. I shuddered but was fiercely glad that I had her.

“I don’t deserve you, you know.”

“Heero no baka. Don’t you think for a second that I’ll hate you and I’ll desert you because of your scars! I will never leave you alone, Heero. Never.”

~*End of Flashback*~

***Duo***

When I got to Relena’s room, Hilde was already waiting outside. There were dark circles under her eyes, showing how exhausted she was from watching Relena the whole night. As I drew near her, she smiled at me, but it never reached her eyes.

“Does Heero know, Duo?”

“He’s on his way here, Hilde. As you predicted, he didn’t take the news lightly. He loves her, you know.”

Hilde stepped into my arms and held me tight. All of a sudden, I heard a quiet sob and I felt Hilde’s tears wet my shirt.

“Oh, Duo! She was like a sister to me. We were complete opposites, but she was my best friend and she understood me like no one else did. Before you came into my life, she was there, always by my side.”

I nodded, stroking her ebony hair. I gently kissed her tears, tasting their salt.

“It’s okay. ‘Jousan’s gonna make it. She’s had tough times, I’m sure she’ll be good as new, Hilde. You’ll get to talk to her like old times, have a great night out every now and then-”

Hilde interrupted me, the pain in her voice taking on a new edge as she sobbed in my arms.

“Duo, please don’t give me false hopes. This is reality. It bites harder than waking up from a fantasy. Relena doesn’t look too good and there’s nothing I can do.”

I stroked her, closing my eyes. I hated to admit it, but Hilde was right. False hopes sucked.

“I’m rather disappointed myself, Hilde. Not even Shinigami can do a thing to help ‘jousan.”

I noted what Hilde had just said. ‘Waking up from a fantasy bites, but reality bites even harder…’

I stroked her shoulders and lead her into the room where Relena was sleeping. A wave of pity washed over me upon seeing her lying there. Tubes were attached to her body, her breathing being kept at a constant rate by an oxygen tank. The doctor had said that her lungs were having trouble in respiring because of the bullets. I sucked in a breath, softening my voice as not to wake her.

“That bad, huh? I know she’ll make it. Pretty strong, this little girl. Even I’m amazed at her stunts.”

A sound at the door made Hilde jump. I whirled around, expecting to see Heero. Instead I found Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei. Trowa was the first to speak.
“How is she, Duo? What did the doctors have to say?”

“I wish I knew, Trowa. She don’t look too good. But she’s fighting. Got one hell of a spirit, this girl.”

Everyone in the room nodded. Quatre blinked back what looked like tears and smiled bitterly.

“If only we could find the scumbag who did this to her…”

“Yeah, and I’d give that bastard a piece of my mind,” I added.

Wufei slipped over to the bed and gently took Relena’s hand.

“Relena,” he whispered, “if you can hear me, I’m begging you to hold on. Please fight. Heero is on his way here. I know you are not weak. You won’t give up and we won’t, either.”

Another sound at the door alerted us and we turned around to see Heero standing there. Wufei immediately let go of Relena’s hand and placed it on her side, gently patting it. He bent down to whisper something to Relena.

“ ‘Jousan, Heero is here to see you,” he whispered, using the term of endearment I had given Relena.

Trowa squeezed Heero’s shoulder, his green eyes glassy. Quatre wiped back a tear and gestured to the bed.

“You talk to her, Heero. I’m sure she’ll hear your voice.”

Heero looked down and softly replied, “Arigato, Quatre. Please tell the others to stay here and talk to her, also. She’ll want to talk to all of them.”

***Heero***

I had reached Relena’s room and what I saw was enough to shatter my heart. There were tubes attached to her body and she looked nothing like the vibrant girl I was so accustomed to. Her face was pale, almost as white as the sheets, and her lips were a chalky gray with no life in them. She looked so much thinner than before and my heart went out to her, trying to tell her how I felt. I strode over to the bed, making no sound and I sat down by the bed, taking her hand. I kissed it, hoping that she would wake up.

“Relena, it’s me, Heero. Listen to me, you must fight this. Please open those beautiful eyes of yours, love. I can’t bear to see you like this.”

As if on cue, Relena suddenly opened her eyes and looked at me, a vacant expression written on her face. She stared hard at me, trying to remember who I was and then suddenly smiled with remembrance.

“Hey, tiger. You’re up and about. Glad to see that.”

I smiled gently at her, admiring how much she worried about others before herself. She was a selfless, brave girl and I loved her for it.

“Heero, I have lived a life with few regrets and both happy and sad memories. But none compares to the time I first met you. I’m grateful that the Powers That Be let our paths cross. You are in my heart, always.”

She reached up to her neck and tugged at something. When she handed it to me, I saw that it was a heart-shaped pendant. The inscription at the back said “Love is forever, Death is nothing at all.”

“Keep that, Heero. What it says is true. Let my name be spoken as if nothing has happened. Remember me and speak of me as if I am still here. I am not gone from your sight, but waiting for you. It will be as if I have merely stepped into another room.”

I grasped her hands, refusing to believe what she said.

“Angel, don’t talk like this. You’re going to live! We’ll get old together and ~”

She interrupted me, putting a finger to my lips. She was getting weaker and she knew it.

“I feel that my time here is coming to an end. But I will not say goodbye.”

I felt tears form in my eyes at her words. I couldn’t comprehend why she had to speak in those terms. She was always very deep, submerged in her own world as I had been in mine. But I hated the way she was speaking to me now. I hated saying goodbye.

“Goodbye is not forever, Heero. I will be alive in your heart if you keep me there.” She had read my mind like an open book. She suddenly sat up, and cupped my face in her hands. It was as if she was memorizing every detail of my face and I leaned over and kissed her. She looked at the others standing in the room and smiled at them.

“Come closer.” Her voice drew them closer to her and she smiled again, staring hard at each of their faces.

“I want to remember all of you, when I’m gone. I’ll be away for quite awhile on a trip of sorts.”

She smiled gently and lay down again, still holding my hand.

“Thank you, Heero. My life is now complete.” And with that she closed her eyes and breathed her last.

“And it has been consummated,” Duo quoted, wiping the tears from his eyes. Hilde sobbed quietly and Trowa put a hand on her shoulder. His face was a grim mask, no emotion escaping him. Wufei put a hand on my shoulder and whispered some words of comfort to me.

“It’s alright, Heero. Just remember what she said.”

I nodded, tears streaming down my face as I continued to grasp Relena’s hand. It was growing colder, the warmth inside her rapidly fading away.

Quatre took out his cellular phone and dialed something, his hands trembling.

“Let it be known that Vice Minister Relena Darlian has passed away at 10:00 on the morning of April 25 in the year A.C 203. That is all,” he said, his voice breaking.

I looked at Relena and all of a sudden, I noticed the smile on her lips. She looked so peaceful in death and I knew she had died, knowing that she had done what little she could for peace and for the lost souls of the Gundam pilots.

“Goodbye is not forever, Relena. Wait for me.”

~owari~

SPOILERS:
So? Whatcha think? I know, I know. The mushiness of it all! Please be gentle with me. I haven’t written fics in a long time and I think this is only my second after the “Eternal Love” trilogy.

Can you believe this? This was supposed to be a short fic and I only get to the end about 10 years later!>_< (smacks forehead) Oh, well, I guess it’s still pretty good. E-mail me for comments. Oh, and I don’t accept flames, only constructive criticism.

BYE!

Mainime =)(= mainime@hotmail.com