I remember when we first met. He was tall, handsome and popular. He’d played a gig at a local teen hangout and I was mesmerized with his skills on the guitar, being a guitar player myself. When he’d finished playing, I went up to him to talk guitar. He’d been talking and laughing with a few other people, all older and business-like. He saw me and his eyes smiled at me, like he liked what he saw.
“Hi, I’m Valerie.”
“I’m Reggie.”
We roamed from guitars to his gigs to our personal lives, Reggie steering the conversation to me. He was 20, I was 16. When the line building up behind me to talk to him grew long and restless, he scribbled something down on a scrap of paper and handed it to me.
“My number. Can I have yours?”
“Sure.”
Blushing, I gave him mine and walked off. I didn’t expect him to call, but he called the next day around noon, and by the end of our two hour phone call, we had a date.
Reggie was my first real love. He was my world and I knew I was a big part of his, taking second only to his guitars and gigs. I didn’t mind too much though, as long as I was his only girl.
Reggie was a moody boy. Most days, he’d be lovey-dovey with me, but there were days when he’d hole up at his apartment and not answer the phone. Those days, if I tried to talk to him, I’d just get an “I’m feeling tired.” If I tried to pry it out of him, he’d get up and leave. I didn’t care; I was nuts about him.
Sex was a topic Reggie knew lots about. He’d told me about his one-night-stands and his past sex life. Oh, he was an active boy- up until he met me, he said. He told me he swore off casual sex and drinking because all he wanted now was to keep me with him. I was his angel, he told me.
We’d been dating for about two years when I slept with him. It was great; Reggie was really gentle and made sure I was all right the whole time. After, he held me and whispered sweet nothings in my ears. I fell asleep wrapped up in his arms, ears echoing with his soft voice.
Morning came and he was still there. “I’ll drop you off at school,” he greeted me. I nodded, got dressed, and we left for the high school. He kissed me lightly on the lips, said, “Be good. I love you,” and drove off. That was the last time I saw him.
It took me a year to get out of my depression and realize that Reggie would not e coming back anytime soon. By then, I was in college. I shared a room with a girl named Lark. Occasionally, she’d try to start some conversation but her friendly overtures fell flat due to my anti-social and kind of paranoid nature, brought on by my depression. When I emerged from the dark, friendless cocoon I’d created for a year, I saw this and apologized, but did not delve into any detail about Reggie. She did likewise and we got to be good friends. When I did tell her about him, I learned the same thing had happened to her, only a few years ago and this tidbit helped to strengthen our bond.
Lark was the one who introduced me to Rich. He was of average height, average looking and was a nice guy. Nothing too special when compared to Reggie, but Lark told me that he could provide me with love, stability, reliability and money. I shrugged and Rich and I went on our first date exactly five years from when I met Reggie. Three years later, Rich proposed and I accepted.
We were both quite prominent figures and the wedding was huge- there was a guest list of around 3000 people. Rich was in a family of power and huge influence, thus bringing that many guests to our wedding. My guests consisted solely of my parents, Lark and my two siblings. My wedding dress itself was valued at over one million dollars, having been custom made by a famous designer and decorated with small seed pearls. The designer waived all costs, saying it was his present to us. Rich rented a huge church for our wedding and the reception would take place in his family’s mansion.
“You look so beautiful,” Rich’s mother beamed at me.
I smoothed the dress out with a gloved hand. “Thank you.”
She hugged me. “I’m so glad you’ll be joining the family. You’re such a nice girl.” A small frown touched her cosmetically touched up face for a nanosecond before she put on her smile again. “I’m going out to the guests now.”
“All right.”
She admired me again then scurried off. I was alone now, anticipating the moment I’d be Rich’s wife. Lark was right about everything Rich could give to me, but I was a bit apprehensive. All day, Reggie had been creeping into my thoughts, torturing me. I didn’t know if I could make it through the wedding, then give myself to Rich when it was Reggie who still held my heart.
The beginning strains of the wedding song began and Lark squeezed my hand before walking out ahead of me. I came out nervously and up front, I saw Rich’s eyes soften at the sight of me. My father walked me up the aisle and then Rich and I stood together in front of the priest.
I stood numbly, not hearing any of what the priest was saying. My hand sweated coldly in Rich’s. “…speak now or forever hold your peace.” The doors banged open and everybody turned to see whom the intruder was.
“Stop! She can’t marry him!” a familiar voice rang out. My heart stopped and the world froze. Reggie? It was him, racing down the aisle. “Val doesn’t love him! She loves me!” He pulled me from Rich, ripped off my veil and smushed his lips against mine in a frantic, clumsy kiss while I stood there, stupefied.
There was a shocked silence throughout the whole assembly of guests, and another person ran in, wailing, “Stop!”
Everyone turned again. It was a girl and Rich gasped, “Shan?” They embraced and Rich’s mom nearly turned purple. The priest stood there uncertainly and a murmur spread throughout the guests. But that wasn’t the last surprise.
Lark stepped from her place as maid of honor and quietly said, “Hello, Scott.”
Reggie and I turned and he saw Lark. “Lark?”
“You two! Get out!” Rich’s mom screamed, finally regaining her senses.
“No, wait. Don’t go just yet.” I held my hands out and Reggie/Scott gloated. “Lark, how do you know him?”
It was a moment before she answered, “He’s the one I told you about. He left me. I slept with him and then he left, after six months.”
Reggie interrupted, “Lark, Valerie, I can explain-”
I yanked my hands from his. “You did the same thing to me, you asshole!” Things were finally starting to fall together for me.
“I can explain-”
“All you’re going to get is lies, Val,” Lark told me quietly and I knew it.
“Rich, who’s she?” I turned back to Rich, motioning to Shan.
He gulped. “She’s Shannon. She’s my first fian-”
”Stop!” Rich’s mom bellowed.
“We had a child.”
“No!”
“Mom would not be shamed and she moved us all across the country. Our baby’s five now.” Shannon looked towards the church door and I saw a small girl, peeking shyly in. “Her name’s Love.”
I pulled the veil from my hair and handed Shannon the bouquet before stepping aside. Rich’s mother started towards us, but somebody- my father, I think- held her back. Rich and Shannon didn’t need anymore encouragement and the priest wed them hurriedly.
Just as they kissed, a trashy looking brunette strolled in. “When are we going, Mikey?” She caught sight of the scene and demanded, “What’s going on?”
“Joyce, wait outside,” Reggie/Scott/Mikey ordered her.
“No, I want to know what’s going on,” she demanded, planting her hands on her hips.
“So do I,” Lark put in.
“So do I,” I echoed, facing him. Reggie/Scott/Mikey looked at the three angry women surrounding him and somebody shut the church doors.
“Son, you’re not going anyplace until you explain yourself,” the priest acknowledged from the front.
“Start with what your real name is,” Lark demanded. So, with a sigh that indicated he was telling the truth, he began.
“My real name is Scott Moffatt. I’m 28 and I’m from Chicago.” Here, he seemed at a loss for words, but a sharp look from Lark prompted him to go on. “My father died when I was two weeks old and my mother abused me, from when I was only an infant until I left home at 13. I wanted to be loved, I wanted a maternal figure, I wanted a paternal figure, because I never had any of that. And most of all, I wanted to hurt somebody who hurt me like my mother did. I wanted to hurt somebody who cared about me, who trusted me. I wanted to be the most important person in people’s lives and the only people who would let me in were girls. I befriended a homeless girl whose survival depended on me and once I became her world, I slept with her, then left before she woke up and moved. She was the first. I moved here and there, always changing my name to cover up my tracks and always managing to earn a living through gigs earned by seducing women in charge. I swore to myself that I wouldn’t let myself love anybody and I always had more than one girl at a time. But things changed when I met Lark. I loved her.” I looked over at Lark and saw her eyes weren’t misty like mine, but were hard glittering jewels. “I loved you, Lark.” His voice broke but none of us moved, waiting for his next words. “Lark was the first girl who didn’t spoil me. She made it clear that if I did something wrong, I’d have to fix it and she wouldn’t help me unless I did. But mentally, I knew I had to continue my pattern and I left after sleeping with her. Then I met Val.” He looked at me, looking for a sign of weakness and I looked straight into his eyes, hoping to see a sign of humanity. “I fell in love with her too and she was the last one I let myself love. After I left Val, everything else seemed empty and I regretted it, but I couldn’t go back. Oh Val, if you knew how many times I kicked myself for leaving you!” He grasped my hands and sobbed into them, but I knew it was a ploy that time and let myself harden towards him. Scott raised his head and searched my face, but seeing none, got up and shakily drew a hand across his wet cheeks. “Tell me, Val, honestly: do you still love me?”
It didn’t take but a second for me to answer him: “I never stopped loving you and I never will. But you’re never coming back into my life again.”
But Scott had neglected Joyce and she slapped him when he turned to her, wheedling a sorry excuse. “Get out of my sight, you ass.” With a last glance at us, Scott slunk out of the church and out of our lives forever.
