Cajundoggies Kinder Gentler Days Page... Just kidding!

Son of Doggie Style!!!!

17/17/01

The damn geek is humiliated for all of one show and I am laughing hard, but then... Jan and Mimi will pay for their actions for the entire next year and dim-bulb philip is already kissing her a** trying to get her back. Check out Phils beg video where the first thing that comes on the screen is his ass. I thought for a brief second he was going to moon the ghoul, but then he goes into this impassioned speech that he must have gotten the Jamaican Jerk to write for him. Blah Blah... Oh Chloe, If I can only say hello to you if we should pass at Salem Place. What a pathetic piece of crap Phil is, his only shining moment is when he called the geek a wierdo. Do kids still call people wierdos??? Well, the geek glasses are back on, and did you catch the tan on the geek. For somebody who wears shapeless ghoul gowns most of the time she sure caught a lot of sunlight. Did you catch the slide of the geek playing softball. That made a lot of sense Tom!!! Probably taken from some fan event, because there is no way that that idiot geek would do anything athletic.

Did you count how many times the word 'Chloe' was uttered this monday. More times than 'Bo' was uttered all last year.

Just when you thought Ken and Tom might have been trying to send a positive message we learn that operagirl.net earned 27,000 dollars without even showing the geeks face. Imagine all the wheels turning in young viewers brains about skipping college and living off their own website. Just how embarrasing could the site have been if it didn't show her face, and who would pay to see that anyway? Oh nevermind!

What a great idea to start a brand new storyline when about ten or so from last year haven't moved at all. Why, if the stupid can contains a bus locker key, did it seek out marlo's corpse and glue itself to her hand. When did Paul Mendez/Walker learn sanskrit? I guess we will never learn what the sanskrit said because the genius geek never deciphered it and now the can isn't haunted, its got a bus locker key in it. Oh fine!!! Wardrobe must have gone shopping at Baby Gap to find a shirt that is too small for Kirsten Storms. Sufferin' Succotash!!! And why was Mimi dressed to the nines at the police station. She should have worn that outfit to the Ass Blast. Not much else going on. More later

Supplimental

Ok, close your eyes and envision the scene where those three foxy teen chicks are chanting at the geek

Gimme an H.... H
Gimme an O.... O
Whats that spell?

Wouldn't that scene have been funny if idiot Phil had poked his head out from behind a locker and said 'duuuhhhh.... Idunno!!!'. I hope whoever released nicole from her bottle hasn't used up all three of their wishes yet, because Sami is not dead yet. It has been nice to not see her for a few days though ehh...?

Just how is Brady 'not the kind of guy' who would set up the Geek. Didn't he manipulate Marlena in a very similar way trying to get John to see her for the 'slattern' that she is. He was wasting his time because John LIKES HER THAT WAY!!! But I digress. Also the ghoul refers to Brady as the only person who understands her. Well, I agree with that!!! Brady always says she is a no talent diva and a fool. Truer words were never spoke!!! However, Brady is wasting no time tripping all over himself, which is easy for him, over a high school junior. Did you hear about the ten new brainless teens Ken is hiring for the summer. I hope he is hiring those cute chicks who were chanting at the geek. Did anybody catch their lymeric? Also, Jason comments on her naked butt and 'boobs'. Trust me, guys don't call them that, especially when they are as big as the geeks.... Honkin' mouth mallards yes... Boobs no. Seriously... Can't you say 't#ts' on TV? With all those twenties Jan was flashing around you wonder what else is featured on operagirl.net.

When I was in High School people didn't have websites yet, but I bet if some chick did a webpage like operagirl.net she would have been instantly cool, not the class pariah. I think a few kids would disapprove, but its a bold statement and many kids would think it was cool, at least at my high school.

Mimi is such a stupid idiot. Why do something like that, THEN CONFESS!!! That makes about as much sense as when she was taking cell phone calls in her cardboard box.

07/11/01

Ok, the geek finally got hers and that dilhole Philip finally showed his true colors. Kevin and Susan winning the dance contest thanks to Belle was sort of cute etc etc. The one thing that makes no sense is that KEVIN did the website for Jan and created the diversion to get Ghoolie in the showers by spraying some toxic chemical on her hair and now he is totally supposed to be a good guy who has no idea who perpetrated the prank on ole soapy. In the real world, he would be the one who registered the operagirl.net URL and would be listed in whois as the administrative contact. Well, whatever Tom. Does the Jamaican Jerk remind you of the hippie teacher from Beavis and Butthead? Today though he must have smoked some skunky weed because he was in a BAD MOOD. If they would punish the bad teens or transfer them to reform school things might improve, but the Jamaican Jerk just prattles on about lessons he learned while watching the love boat....

I'm starting to wonder about the other Gigantors 'scheduling conflict'. She is only on once a month to begin with, but I think Tom thought about what that dance number would have looked like with someone that large who has a permanent frown plastered on their face. Not much else to report.

07/04/01

Happy fourth Y'all. You know, the Ass Blast is much better than last years. Some continuity exists and I am enjoying much of it. My favorites are Nicole (can you believe it) and Brady. Admit it, you are starting to like Brady. I think he is a really great actor especially when you contrast him with the other teens on the show. Kirsten Storms is just such a delightful person, either that or a really good actress as well. I guess when the teens talk about the new Gigantor they are describing her HUGE BUTT!!! Man, I hope she didn't have lunch at the Hudson street Diner and try the 99c tub o' chili. Speaking of butts, when was the last time you saw somebodys butt on this show, but today it was a real butt-fest. I counted four times they panned on Belles backside and isn't that the nicest outfit? For once. The Geek looks like she is attending the coronation massacre rather than a high school dance, Mimi is in character looking like she is the one who fought Kate for that sorry rag at the thrift store, Jan is flashing a lot of strange cleavage. Line of the year from Jason: "alcohol is your friend". Crack is Toms friend. I also enjoyed Kevins suit, but riddle me this... Kevin knows all about operagirl.net HE DESIGNED THE FREAKIN WEBSITE!!!!! I have to side with the Salem Comic, Gigantor cannot act. She mugs the camera and is happy during scenes when she should be sad. I would be sad if MY butt was that big (I know that's not nice, but its true). My butt is not that big, I mean.

Tom does some amazing things on purpose. Remember when Phil came to the Ghouls house and Gigantor was there and after the Geek ragged on his ass for three scenes for calling Susan Giantor and he walks out and says something like "Gigantor ruined my morning". Well, he doesn't think much of Kate. Imagine if your mother showed up at your high school dance in a rag. Wouldn't you feel like maybe sharing your allowance with her? Not Phil. This kid is incredible. Nicole is becoming cool. I know most female viewers disapprove of her and Vic's relationship, but if I was in Vics shoes I might do the same thing. Not because Nicole is 'beautiful' which is debatable, but because she has a great sarcastic wit and good delivery. She has come a long way since her Misty Circle days and I am glad. One less character to hate. OK, you all came here to hear about Donut Head and Mercenary Moron... Sorry to disappoint, but Hope is so far out of character that I can't take such a cheap shot. True, she is being selfish and delving into her stupid past yet again, but beyond that, wanting to know which position she used on the sub when JT was concieved is just plain sick and I don't think even Hope would act that way. John should tell her she dropped a donut and bent over and the rest is history. Brady noted that ghoul tool is 16 and there is' no way he would be interested. Lets hope that is true. I know what she wants and its not what Brady thinks. Run far away!!!!

The Kate Roman thing is moving forward,,, Yick! I think 'Roman' should quietly leave town. Kate may have a raggy dress on, but continuity.... She has that A cup black wonder bra on!!! Man, if I put something like that on I would get a cleavage!!! Crikey!!! Shame on the Stump though, If he bags Kate, it will be a mother daughter, not to mention how much in love his younger brother was with Billie for a few years. That boy is seeeeekkkk! Well, I take that back. Who could resist the amazing, but pathetic, Billie Reed.

06/26/01

What was up with Hope's newfound curiosity about bopping John abord the dunkin donut? And if John thought it was so magical how can he look poor HornLena in the face every day. What a slut!!! John that is. Whats really amazing is how hope waits 9 months to get all curious about it. What else is amazing is how after Steffie leaves town, 1 cell Bo determines he has to go to Ireland for his familys sake. Wake up sherlock!!! Fatty has gone to the bahamas, let sleeping dogs lie you moron!!! I thought idiot Kate was 'a fighter' and was going to work her way back to success, but now she is trying to get Vic to give her money. What a fool!!! The ONE WAY she can't be successful is the one she chooses.

Did you all see the scene where geekly, now apparently permanantly sans geek glasses, won't tell anybody what her summer plans are. Yeah right!!! She's probably planning to man the Kiss a Klingon booth at a star trek convention. Who gives a sh#t what that idiot is doing. That being said, if my girlfriend refused to tell me what her summer plans were, that would be the end of that. Heck, summer is one day away, how soon until they find out anyway you geek!!!

On planet Tom, Sami is sexy and Mimi is a plain jane. Well, *I* beg to differ. Kellys page was right on about that disgusting skirt making her legs look like telephone poles. I think that doctor wasn't bending down to see down her shirt, but rather to barf up his cafeteria lunch after gazing on her floppy breasts that were simply crying out for a cross your heart. Anyway, how realistic is it that the most popular girl in school is going on her first date at the end of her junior year in HS. Popular with who Tom? I suppose if somebody as delightful as Belle is high and dry until the last minute, then Meem might be suffering too. You have to ask yourself what is wrong with the boys at Salem High. They are too busy standing in the halls chanting "Gigantor Gigantor" to be concerned with GIRLS ewww cooties!!!!

Any excuse to get Brady at the high school dance. How many 19 year old chaperones do you know? Well, at least he can't buy alcohol for the other teens, HE IS TOO YOUNG!!! Anyway, its not the least bit ironic to Tom that the dance is being chaperoned by a crippled 19 year old Bipolar teen and PORN STAR MISTY CIRCLE!!!! Who bets we get a repeat of Locker Room Lolita during the Ass Blast?

I have to disagree with many of you when I defend Lexie. There are two reasons and they are not the two that you think. Firstly, she looks wonderful. Secondly she ripped disgusting Sami a new one!!! YAY!!! I do feel sorry for Abe though. Is it possible for Abe to be Brandons father really? We know that his gun shoots blanks from the adoption storyline. Speaking of Brandon, are they starting back up with the Brandon Lexie romance. ICK! but if it makes Sami have less airtime, bring it on!!!

Supplemental

Can Roman and Bo be any bigger PIGS??? Guess what a-holes! When you find a baby floating down a river, save its life and take it to a doctor then return it to its rightful parents after you learn who they are ITS NOT KIDNAPPING. Thats called SAVING THE BABY's LIFE!!!! How dare Bo treat them like dirt when they don't have any info on Stefano. False arrest and bullying is something I have come to expect from Roman, but Bo was going along with the arrogant prick. When Hattie won't cooperate, Roman totally cuts her loose which begs the question why the Salem PD picked up her fancy hotel and meals for the last few days for NO REASON. Well, there is a reason... ROMAN IS CERTIFIABLE!!!! I have totally lost any sympathy for the Salem PD. In the past they were just incompetent, but now they are mean and incompetent.

Two teen pecker references today, one about Kevin's 'package' another I can't remember and then theres what Jan is going to do to keep Kevin quiet. Thanks for letting us fill in the blanks Tom. The new 'gigantor' is about two feet shorter and two feet less wide and kind of pretty. Whats up with that? Who would call this girl Gigantor.... Only at Salem High... Heck Mimi, Jan and Chloe are a lot bigger than most high school girls and Chloe must be more than a foot taller than Belle. I vote for calling HER Gigantor.

I've read some spoilers that imply Hope's apology to Hornlena was made in order for Hope to be able to get closer to John and learn the disgusting details of the submersible sex machine. Thank god John doesn't know about Steffie getting sloppy seconds. Oh yuck!!! I'd forgotten how bad the show was during that period of time. Brace yourself for lots of disgusting PG flashbacks. Ewwwwwww!!!!!

Also in the spoilers, the Meem makes a choice that changes her life forever at the Ass Blast and Kate begins her comeback at the Ass Blast. Looks like a long summer. How can Kate begin her comeback? Maybe she hires Kevin Lambert and becomes a multimedia mogul... What can the Meem possibly do to change her life forever? I bet when she sees how much attention nude Chloe is getting she flashes the audience and every boy in school falls in love with her. Either that or she grows a concience and trys to stop the show, but we all know that Phil freaks out at the dance because of seeing Chloe nude (who wouldn't) and breaks up with her. Well, I guess we will just have to wait and see. 06/19/01

Where should I start? Tom couldn't remember what he wrote a week ago to save his sorry butt. First of all it was only a year and a half ago when we learned of Rolfs steamy affair with that 'hot' ISA agent who convinced him to spill all Steffies secrets. We even saw him with her in the sack. Now, Hattie is the first time he has ever felt anything for anybody. Geekly is back to being so unpopular that susan won't talk to her, but on odd days she is 'A-list'. Good Grief!!! Why does idiot Roman put Hattie in the Salem Inn for two days BEFORE getting her formal statement. Its so stupid that she hasn't made a statement yet. If I were Rolf I would assume she was in protective custody BECAUSE SHE NEEDED PROTECTION...AAAAHHHHH!!!!

Don't get me started on Sami, she is becoming the new Nicole. What a disgusting person! And then theres ole Princess Grunta von Hamhock. You gotta think they are making Sami so extreme to make Grunta look good, but she is no saint. She is nothing but a manipulative tease, a nice looking one, but at least you know you are going to get some if you go over to Samis. YUCK!!! forget I said that. Its nice of Ken and Tom to continue to pay the actor who plays Larry Morris. I kind of like him.

Now, Gigantor and Kevin seem to have something going on, I guess they will kiss at the ass blast and Jan will get all jealous. Did you catch the Jamaican Jerk eavesdropping? Pretty rude for a mature adult, and then he basically forces Gigantor to go to the Ass Blast. Why would Brady be eavesdropping on Jan and Mimi? What a wierdo! If I could barely walk the last thing I would be doing is standing up listening to a couple of airheaded bimbos in a record store.

What was the point of Krispy Kreme apologising to Marlena. I shut that scene off, because I know in a week or two ole Buttermilk Bar will be over at the penthouse bugging John about what happened on the sub and that will lead to more PG flashbacks which will make me verry ILL. Bo is the only rational one in the group and I think this stupid Ireland story is turning back on. WHY DO THEY DO THIS CRAP. Why can't they finish just ONE storyline in three years. Oh yeah, the Garden of Eden finished, and what was the damn point of all that? 06/12/01

Well, I tuned in for ten minutes today and I had to laugh hard at that stupid geek sitting in the rear of the van with this big frown on her face. And someone must have slipped methanphetamine in Belles Tang this morning. What a life John and Hornlena have! The 'kids' all get themselves ready for school and head out while John and Hornlena hang out in the sack. Get a load of Bo and Roman actually WORKING and they have these silly headsets on. How is it that they have like 50 cops surrounding the mansion and Lexie and John are both able to just walk up to the front door. I guess Jenn and Donut Head have mended fences and it would be great if Brady and Hornlena work something out, but people don't just forgive so easily unless its in Langans Monday Wednesday Friday universe. There is just no WAY that groups of High School students stand in the hallways chanting "Gigantor!!! Gigantor!!!". The sooner this gets finished the happier I will be. How stupid is the Jamaican Jerks zero tolerance taunting policy that it requires the taunted party to lodge a formal complaint? Did your school allow you to have cell phones and pagers in class? Didn't think so. If I went to salem high I would get one of those new game boy advance gadgets and play Mario Bros while the Jamaican Jerk prattles on about the similaritys of Baywatch episodes to certain of the Canturbury Tales. Good riddance to the 'big bopper'. Shots are fired at the mansion and just exactly what was it that he did? If some lady that looked like Marlena wandered into your office babbling about some corpse would you listen to her? It sounds like who'se the daddy is ending and the most hated of all characters PG makes a flashback appearance. Must Flee TV!!!!

Supplimental

Foulup Kuriakis is such a fool. You can tell that his brain comes from Kates side of the family. Speaking of Kate, at least she managed to check in to a shelter so she doesn't have to wipe herself down with kleenex every day and dumpster-dive. Sami continues to be a waste of airtime as she has become even more one-note than the ghoulish fence post. Did you catch Asstin running into that table as he came into the hudson street diner. I guess he was trying to think of his line and can't walk and think at the same time, either that or he was transfixed by the low low prices. Spoilers indicate that Paul Walker (formerly paul mendez, but Tom forgot) is somehow related to the haunted can. That means he is wrapped up in the teen adventure this summer and that makes him Chloes father. Now why Colonel Sanders was a buddy of his I have no idea. Of course the last teen adventure, the haunted habitat for humanity lot was canned (so to speak) to make room for the garden of Asstin so we may not have to worry about all this nonsense anyway

What do you suppose her royal highness Princess Grunta von Hamhock does all day long. Is Jennifer living off tips she got as a barmaid in Ireland? Jack is from a wealthy family, but I don't think HE has much money as I kind of remember the paper he owned going bankrupt. Why did they bother bringing up this stupid Basic Black thing three months ago? How is Hattie supporting herself now that she lost her job and spent her life savings on plastic surgery? Why is spammi never at work AND never with will? Is Sexie on permanent maternity leave? All these questions and more will never be answered in our lifetimes...

6/5/01

Its day 1000 in the neverending geek-fest. Can you imagine being Jay Johnson and having to utter his lines about the geek being A-list. I guess whoever wrote that scene wasn't around for the ghoul girl stinks scene from a few weeks back. Then was when we learned that Geekly was below Gigantor in the taunting pecking order. The one bit of continuity this week is Bo is seen driving 'Rex' the truck. Why is it always garbage day in salem?

John meanwhile trys to outshrink Hornlena by bringing up Roman. I don't think Hornlena loves StumpRoman at all, she just uses him when she needs someone tracked down and shot. Meanwhile Chubby gets no respect from BranFlake and its looking like they just decided to end the Hattie storyline in a couple of weeks with no real payoff. Thats fine I guess because Tom has to focus all his energies on the Ass Blast Dance. I read the moronic teens will have some big island adventure this summer. Has it occured to you how much money Ken saves by airing the teens instead of the long timers. Crimeny, Nadia Bjorlin probably PAYS KEN to be on TV. That would explain why she is on every day. If you head over to MikeR's spoiler companion, there is a picture with the Geek standing next to donut head and the GEEK has bigger ta-tas than Hope does. Now that didn't use to be the case so I guess I was right about something going on there. Speaking of big ta-tas check out Jan in that red sundress. Holy smokes!!! I wonder what Kevin Lambert will want to java enable Jans website?

Supplemental

Well Damn NBC to hell for interrupting the scene where we finally get to learn why Brady hates Hornlena for update number 5000 on Timothy McVeigh. I can't believe the media is giving him exactly what he wanted in the first place which was to embarrass the FBI. HE DID IT! He called the civilian women and children who died 'collateral damage'. Shut up and fry his ass! Luckily, Days penchant for drawing things out enabled me to view the scene where John says he told Izzy that he would never love another woman as much as he loves her. Really compassionate there John, and the way he kept grabbing Hornlena by the arm when she tried to leave the room reminded me of how one might treat a puppy who won't stop soiling the carpet. What a jerk. Having said that, This is the first time I have seen Drake Hogestyn actually ACT in quite some time. You can't blame him for being bored. He, Hornlena and Brady did a great job today. Unfortunately, I think the fact that her daughter is named Issabella would remind Marlena of Johns and Izzys relationship a heck of a lot more than a stupid picture on the wall. I wonder when HornLena will begin proceedings to change Belles name to Skipper.

Speaking of the teens, Ken and Tom are back to their pecker pecadillos, this time with Jan and Mimi who are under 18. Shame on you for that reference about boys 'credit cards' popping out. Of course the teenage boys at salem high might be a bit overly frustrated seeing Belle wandering the halls in that low cut tight top. Shiver me timbers!!!! Geekly is on every DAMN DAY!!! Now she thinks Phillip is a wierdo. Well he is, but I think the sooner she heads off to Julliard the happier I will be. Speaking of wierd idiots, stupid Sami is on today and makes austin choose between her and Kate. Austin is like Uhhhhhh.... In the meantime, he offers kate no assistence with her living situation or cash situation. Please Please do not set up Kate with the Stump. That boy is just too pathetic even for Kate. He should just go out and get a copy of Locker Room Lolita and lock himself in his apartment or wherever the heck he lives. 05/30/01

A pretty good show today except I had to laugh at poor Alice who had this look on her face like she just soiled her depends while Jack was comforting Jennifer. I guess I should weigh in on Matt Ashford. I think he has a lot of depth, not only can he do the John Ritter physical comedy, but he can be compassionate and also quite evil if you remember Kaylas attack. Many people don't remember what a buffoon he was made into in the past and I must direct you all to remember that idiotic western wedding which culminated in Alice Horton beating up a cowboy. I was so embarrased and I was alone watching.

Wouldn't Glen and Barb know they have JT? I remember comments about how JT looked like Glen coming out of Barbs mouth... Oh well. Lexie looks great in her hospital bed thanks to them taking off some of that hideous whiteface makeup they make her wear.... Lets talk about the difference between Hope and Jennifer. First, Jennifer refused to sponge off Alice when she came to town, now when JT falls in the river, Jennifer blames herself and Hope blames Jennifer. You don't see old donut head asking what if? "I wish Jennifer never came back to town". Well, poor Donut Head isn't going to have any friends left after she loses both Sexie and Jenn. I guess thats the way it should be. Hopefully even Bo will wise up. BTW: Do you think Donut Brain had her implants removed or downsized? I do. They seem almost normal now. Always behind the curve though as I hear Pam Lee is having hers put back in.

A glimpse of the old angry rebel Shawn today only to have his fire put out by the Jamaican Jerk. I can't think of a word to describe that 'community togtherness' speach besides 'gay'. Kirsten storms is a good little actress as she mugs the 'reaction shot'. Too bad her dad can't express himself as well. I didn't see the beginning of the show, was there any explanation why Ghoul Tool forgot to wear her glasses today? I thought I had it all figured out and they throw us a curve. I think she looks a little crosseyed or something without them and does stupid Phillip look old enough? I swear he is getting crows feet. By the time he graduates, he will probably have liver spots. Why is operation operageek taking so long? Oh yeah, we have to wait for the Ass Blast. It just occured to me why todays show was good. Sami and Austin were not on. Yay!!! Lets tally all the storylines that are stuck in the mud. Hattie, the can, Larry Morris, operagirl, belle/shawn, Basic Black, blah blah blah, and what was the point of the garden of Eden when Austin is back with that idiot Sami. Nothing, thats what. They seem to have changed their minds and want Grunta to foil Jack and Jennifer. That leaves Grunta yet again with NO REASON TO BE IN SALEM. She should be off ruling her loyal subjects with an iron fist! More later.... Supplemental

Gosh, how many weeks of poor me Hope will we have to endure before Sexie is overcome with guilt. Not too many I think since Chubby is leaving they will have to wrap it all up quick or else recast him. That sure was a crappy car Jennifer was driving. All she did was almost go off a bridge and that popped the seatbelt and inexplicably blew open the passenger door, but any impact was so minor as to not deploy the airbags. Now if Jennifers seat was wedged against the baby seat as they said it was HOW THE HECK DID HE FALL OUT. Moving along Why the HECK did John break the elevator. He should have just let it stop at a floor and had Brady drop into the elevator car and exit. Instead he pops some electrical conduit off the side of the building and destroys the elevator motor. What a moron. You would think he would have been electrocuted as that conduit was metal, but not the super mercenary moron.

Ok, more daytime firsts courtesy of Nancy. The 'monster piss' window scene was bad enough, but now she has to go to the hospital because she has enough gas to blow up the hindenburg. Poor Patrika Darbo. I doubt she signed on to be show laughingstock. Next thing you know she will eat the chili at the hudson street diner and 'let one fly' that blows Mr Burke out the window. I guess since there haven't been any new South Park episodes lately Ken is now trying to get boys 7-14 to watch soap operas. Good luck Ken. Pardon me while the rest of us fast forward your nude chloe fetish and bodily function crapola. PS: Get that geek off my TV!!!! 05/22/01

Well, I guess I have to admit that the tuscany bombing is pretty good classic soap disaster material and is pretty Ok for the most part. Even Bo's attitude about killing John so they can draw out the secret is a classic device (although its pretty irritating)... "I know Dimera is behind it all, but if I find out John is the father of JT, I will kill him" IDIOT!!! Kill fatty you Austin wannabe!!! Well, not even I can blame Hope for continuing to lie to him now... Not enjoyable in the least is the fifteth replay of the ghoulish geek lamenting her lack of emotions. Well, she would fit in fine on Vulcan except her wearing those non prescription geek glasses is well... ILLOGICAL!!!

More classic soap scripting, Vic wants to break up Phil and the Ghoul. I don't blame him, maybe he should blow her up like he did that loan shark, and why doesn't anybody suspect Vic is behind the bombings as he sits there drinking a Martini and had promised Bo a while back that he would kill Chubby. Like Bo could actually kick Johns ass, the man runs four miles carrying Sexie and shows up 15 minutes early. If I wanted to, I could calculate the speed he must have ran and I think he is right up there with the 6 million dollar man. Bo on the other hand goes whining to daddy Vic when he needs some asses kicked and suggests walking down to a farm somewhere to annex the tractor to clear the roads. Why not call the local highway department. Roads get cleared a lot better using heavy equipment braniac!!! Just because the power is out.... Hornlenas cellphone is able to penetrate into the elevator shaft. Just call 911 butthead!!!

The special effect of JT falling into the river was priceless. That is one funny looking kid! We can only be so lucky that the car landed on him, but I think Glen and Barb will find him and run off. What other reason for those gigantic (and unattractive) 3 inch block letters on the car seat?

I thought Belles acting claustrophobic was kind of unconvincing and Shawn is such a goofus telling her to think of HER FAMILY to calm her down. In the meantime Langan is making Brady seem heroic again (yawn).

Supplemental...

Are you as lost as I am? The last argument HornLena and Donut Head had, Hornlena wanted Hope to tell the truth, now that Donut Brain is willing to do it, Hornlena throws a fit that Hope is ruining her family. I don't usually defend Hope for anything since she is the laziest and most dishonest 'good' character on daytime, but this time HornLena is so Langanized that my head is spinning. Next we have Alice Horton, who I never criticize, but it was HER IDEA to get Jack to come to Salem, and she thought it was a GREAT IDEA for them to move in together. Do we really need another triangle/ quadrangle on this wreck with this Colin idiot? Maybe the writers have spent too much time on the picket lines or something. Stefano doing a selfless act, and the moron Geek who followed her enemy Mimi around because she was worried about her shrugs off Nancys heart attack. Where is Langan going with his star character anyway? He wants us all to hate her, but I bet he wonders why the last ratings period was the worst EVER. You are an idiot Tom. Meanwhile, Larry Morris is canned I guess as Brandon says he will get back at Abe, but not in court. What was the point of it all? Everything else is on hold again as they pointlessly blow up tuscany... Why tell stories when you can blow up stuff and make us hate our favorite characters? I think Tom had too many bong hits while watching Power Rangers. Not totally off topic Aaron Sorkin the head writer of the West Wing (which I really enjoy) was arrested for posession of rock cocaine, magic mushrooms and pot the other day. I wish somebody would arrest Langan. A little time at the Betty Ford would do him a world of good.

Have you noticed the latest casting gaff, nobody is Bradys age so he spends all his time hanging out with HIGH SCHOOL JUNIORS. Who does that in real life? True, he doesn't know a soul in salem since Marlena sent him off to baseball camp for 10 years, but you would think the teen crowd, who actually have the maturity of 8 year olds, would be boring to someone his age. Now in real life, Barfaloin and Jay Johnson are probably older than Kyle Lowder so Tom is probably confused. I read where Chloe and Foulups relationship begins to fizzle, thus Foulups Kuriakis blood will start to surface and he will obsess on the geek (kinda like Tom Langan does). Anyway.... I guess that scene where Geekly was laughing as Nancy dangled out in space was intentional. She seems kind of happy about Nancys heart attack too. Poor Craig. Sami spitting in Kates face was over the top even for Tom and I am glad I didn't watch. The thing is that Kate has done some rotten things to Sami, but SAMI NEVER FOUND OUT!!! SAMI DOESN'T KNOW KATE FRAMED HER FOR THE MURDER or any of that nonsense with Franco either. Kate is Austins mother for crissake!!! I have never liked Sami much, but she has become a one dimentional hateful idiot. I bet Kate makes more money as a waitress than Sami does as answering the phone at the nurses station. Technically, she should be getting mondo child support payments from Lucas, so she should be rather upset that he is now broke and in a coma, but she and that butt for brains Mickey were too stupid to do the custody thing in court, SO ITS NOT LEGAL!!!!! Groan.... This show is rapidly approaching the level of badness during Princess Gina and thats really saying something... THAT WAS BAAAAAADDDDD!!!! Supplemental...

Another year has gone by (5 days in salem) and the ever changing personality teens are looking forward to Ass Blast II, the dance that went on into AUGUST last year. Will this years Ass Blast center on Phils obsessive/compulsive disorder? Whatever the lead plotline is, you know the moronic Geek will be centerstage. I've been hearing rumors of Gigantor going postal ala columbine. That would be good for a laugh anyway if it weren't in such bad taste. Apparently Jan is going to broadcast the sudsy ghoul on the giant Diamondvision screen at the dance. And you thought there were no bigger boobs on earth than Ken and Tom.... They also taped Gigantor, maybe thats what sets her off on her reign of death and destruction. I can just see her lumbering down the halls with a bandalero flinging grenades. This will be better than the coronation massacre and the tuscany disaster combined!!!

In the meantime, an entire year has gone by and Shawn-D has not succumbed in the least to Belles charms. If I were her, I would wonder if the boom on the FFII hadn't hit him in the head one time too many. Tom constanly reminds us that Jason is getting laid, and Phil put the moves on the ghoul on that stinky horseblanket, but Shawn can't even..... and its not for lack of knowing what to do, I'm sure Bo and Hope don't care who is in the house when they sneak off to go at it.

Have you heard about Kens new possible spinoff, Salem High? Well, thats a stupid idea since the kids will graduate in one more year, but it would be great to get back to some adult drama on this show. Well, maybe not.... I guess they would spin off a couple or two to anchor the new show ala Port Charles. I vote for Bo and Hope to go. Wouldn't it be funny if an NBC exec viewed the pilot and realized what has been on the air impersonating a daytime drama for the last few years?

05/15/01

I'm back. Gosh I take a lot of vacations. Then when I get back its like the vacation never happened. I'd like to discuss the show, but I HAVENT WATCHED IT!!!!. Well, I did read the spoilers though and a couple days of the Early Edition and it sounds like nothing has happened anyway, but Tuscany is about to blow. That'll fix Maggie for suddenly becoming the town gossip. Thats who I'd pick to be my AA sponsor. The town blab!!!

Roman is an idiot. He arrests Phil and Jason for no reason and they get released immediately. What is the point of making him such a jackass? I suppose Phil is starting to wack out now. I guess its his turn, god knows everybody else has. Meanwhile, fatty is going to blow up tuscany and himself as well and speaking of overweight people, Nancy is going to have a heart attack. I should think Hope would be more at risk for a heart attack than Nancy being skeletally thin and subsisting on donuts, but this is Days. Nancy doesn't think she is overweight which means she thinks everybody gets a rash in the crack of their ass when they go for a walk on a hot day, but seriously Tom Langan is about as politically correct as I am. Every scene with Susan has centered on how she is fat, and every sentence out of Ghoul Tools mouth is about dieting. Fine Tom. The way this show is going it really doesn't matter anymore

05/01/01

What a twerp that arbitrator is. First, Roman accepts full responsibility for Brady being shot, then HornLena comes and takes responsibility, and the arbitrator concludes from all the testimony that its BRADYS fault!!!! Well, it kind of is partly his fault, but the fact that he has a good prognosis has nothing to do with a pain and suffering award and that scene where Roman slips in a pool of water and he and Abe start blasting away is pure incompetence and a clear violation of procedure... You don't run into a hostage situation guns blazing, you call for backup and negotiate. Well fine.... Then Roman and the 'commish' cop an attitude when they win the case. I hate Roman.

Belle and Ghoul Blockhead are on again, must be teusday, and what a total freak Phil is being. I hope all the waitresses in the US write to days about having their careers portrayed as demeaning. That kind of crap pisses me off. Especially since Kate was a freaking HOOKER, but now she is somehow too good to wait tables. Phil also didn't know Gigantors christian name, which is silly unless the teachers call her Gigantor in class. How to end teen taunting in the hallways? Get the Jamaican Jerk (Mr Woods) to actually enforce their stupid zero tolerance policy instead of making idle threats. Every high school has a few bullies, but the whole damn school? Anyway, I bet the haunted can is the key to ending teen taunting....

I just had lunch and paid 5.15 for a burger and fries, but at the Hudson street Diner, its $1.99!!!! Why are the writers threatinging to strike anyway? DO THEY WANT A RAISE????? Fat chance with the ratings falling as a direct result of their incompetence. Do you think people would watch Rikki Lake interview teen slut #800 and her idiot boyfriend who thinks she is cheating on him if there was a decent daytime drama competing in its timeslot? Faced with that or Last Blast II : The revenge of Gigantor, I would choose to go outside and stand in the rain. 04/25/01 Supplemental

Well, if Tom wants us to watch the teens all day, he can at least remember what the little freaks are doing from one day to the next. Case in point : Jan and Jason. If memory serves, Jan broke up with Jason because he didn't have a car. Next, we see Jason with a cute teen extra and are told he has a new girlfriend. Then, like plots through Langans brain.... THEY ARE BACK TOGETHER. On mondays, wednesdays and fridays Belle is not Chloe's friend, on tuesdays and thursdays she is, and where the heck is Mary Ann (shawn). Phillip went away on a long trip and is back the same day and everybody acts like they haven't seen him in weeks and get a load of the scrawny extra they hired for Phil to intimidate. Phil should be flattered that every teen in Salem is obsessed with Ghoul Monolith. Don't those idiot extra teens have anything better to do? While we are at it... Why does "The most popular girl in school" only hang out with the two "losers", and the least popular girl hangs out only with the most popular girl and the most popular boy??? POPULAR WITH WHO TOM???? Isn't the geek such a good new friend to Gigantor? Come over to my house and I will give you a phone number so you can GO ON A DIET!!! Even if Gigantor lost 150 pounds she would still be NINE FEET TALL! If I were Phil, I would dump Ghoolie for that cute redhead with the short hair except she will disappear once NBC learns of Kens budget overruns hiring all the extra teens and building an outside set for the Hudson Street Diner where a SOUP *AND* SANDWICH combo is only $2.79!!!!

OK, now speaking of continuity we should all pay attention as HornLena apparently testifies in bradys lawsuit and gets the case dropped. What could she possibly say that would cause that to happen??? Roman DID arrest Brady with NO EVIDENCE, and then he systematically tracked him down (he only apparently has that ability with innocent people) and violated police procedure blasting holes in the restaurant roof only to falsely arrest Brady AGAIN before bothering to call an ambulance because he had been shot twice. Maybe Phillip should take the stand and talk about HIS false arrest based soley on Nancys yammerings while Chloe (the victim) said nothing happened. Roman is a danger to himself and others! Not only that he is ugly and he talks funny! Mary Ann is still missing too. I think Gigantor ate him!!! 04/24/01

Well, it looks like somebody clued in Lauren Koslow that if they have some sort of uterine problem, the pain would not be occuring at the den of 'the bearded clam' but rather higher and she has changed the area that she is clutching finally. You just gotta love Mr Burke the owner of the Hudson Street diner for keeping his Sandwitch Plate at $2.95 and an order of pancakes at $1.95. Dennys just couldn't compete in Salem. I wonder what ole Burke gets for a cuppa joe. Despite my love of Diner food, this story sucks. No less than 5 firms were lobbying to hire Nicole away from titan just two months back, but Kate has to get a minimum wage job. We all know Kate is really stupid, but I doubt the other publishing firms would be as wise. Worst case, you would ask Asstin for a couple bucks before you dine at the DUMPSTER!!! This is just dumb and we all know she is being knocked down so far because she will come back and best Nicole in the end. Well, knowing this show, probably not.... What Langan doesn't know is that he has made Kate SO STUPID that nobody will care if she makes a comeback.

Well, its a week later and Donut Head still has that same top on. Must be pretty ripe by now. I'm really confused about time this last week, it seems like some characters are moving backward in time. Perhaps this is some sort of relativistic phenomenon caused by Gigantor's infinite mass. And speaking of Black Ho's (sorry!) Abe is turning out to be quite the gigelo. I wonder if he ever crossed the tracks to Dr Marlenas? Yow!!!!

Get Nicole to Victorias Secret ASAP!!! What the heck was she doing in Alice Hortons black bloomers? We finally learn that she is indeed evil and is setting her sights on Titan... What a coincidence that Kate will be her rival (snore). Would you pay money to see Chloe the human scrubbing bubble? Didn't think so. Detective Belle uses the little cutout in the vent to pop it off with a broom handle, not noticing how odd that is. Fine. When they put the camera in there there was no cutout. One of the cameramen probably pointed out to Tom what the fresnel effect would do to the picture. Did your High School have gigantic air vents that could accomodate a person? If so, did the ducting have the strength to remain bolted to the ceiling when somebody crawled through it... Thought so, my school had steam floor heating. I have never seen forced air heat in a school and certainly the vent wouldn't be 20 FEET IN THE AIR. Hot air rises Tom, and why the 4 foot wide ducting for a standard 16 inch vent... but I digress. Even Gigantor agrees that Chloe stinks. What a strange school. There is like a taunting pecking order where Gigantor gets taunted except when Chloe is around, then she joins the taunters. How bloody wacky is that??? If all those kids chant "Ghoul Girl Stinks" more than 5 times, Ken has to pay them a lot more... Anybody keep track? 04/17/01

When your kid has a heart attack do you go to the hospital in a RED LEATHER top. Only if you are wacky Donut Head who only hours after her kid gets a angioplasty goes off to a bar with Jenn and starts undoing all of Alices meddling to set up Jack and Jenn. Who is Hope to be giving out relationship advice anyway? Its poor Bo who should 'move on' if you ask me.

I think in the last two weeks we have had one geekless day! Now Ghoulish fence post is bonding with "Gigantor". Instead of casting a 'plus size' person who could ACT, they casted the most huge person they could find. She makes ghoul girl look like Audrey Hepburn in the personality dept. She must be 6'6" if she is a foot tall. On any other show, you might expect a lesson about teen taunting to be learned, but on this show its just more nastiness and insults. I feel sorry for "Gigantor" not because she is overweight, but because the geek is befrending her.

Ok, Larry Morris, the haunted can, and Jason all make an appearance this week. Man!!! And you thought we had seen the end of all those stories that started OVER A YEAR AGO!!!! Why did they drop these stories for so long? Uhhh... so idiot Sami could go to italy... Oh Joy!!! And so the geek could perform various idiotic antics. Get a load of Mr Woods, the only black guy in an all white school IN JAMAICA!!!! And Ghoul Brick breaks this kids nose and its all fine with Mr Woods. If I was nancy I would have pulled the plug and given her back to the orphanage by now.

Whats wrong with stupid kate? I thought she had breast cancer, but now we get these way too graphic scenes of blood running down her legs that make the will doll seem tame. Speaking of the will doll, I doubt Sami would know the difference as the little guy is either locked in his room or 'at school' all day long. Spammi is lucky enough to get her job back, then she goes on break never to return... She is awful.

I like Jack. He breathes a little life into this dismal show. I like Jenn too, so she should stay far away from Hope or she will never get a job. Little Abby is a good actress too. She makes Chloe and "Gigantor" look even worse than they already are. Another triangle is in the works with Jack, Jenn and Her Royal Highness Princess Grunta von Hamhock. Well, whatever I guess at least none of the three of them is a nasty idiot

Do you think old chubby is really quitting? If so, they are going to recast him in order to keep the Hattie and Ireland stuff going. Maybe they will cast Chef Paul Pruddhome as Stefano or better yet Richard Simmons

Is Sexie on permanent maternity leave? Its been 6 months or more hasn't it? She is looking fine in that gold top, but actin' mean. I wonder if Branflake actually WILL back off of Abe now that Larry Morris has mysteriously appeared...Dahhhh!!!

04/12/01 Supplemental ...

Who's this Kevin Lambert Guy? They had to dig pretty deep in the well o' nerds to find a bigger geek than Ghoul Grrrl. What an idiot, he wants a kiss from Jan as a reward when we all know Jan 'goes all the way' to get what she wants from guys. Unlike Hope and Sami, Jan will probably graduate although she has no idea what the word 'corrosive' means even though it is the perfect description of her personality. The joke is then on Jan when Kevin turns out to have a tongue like Gene Simmons and takes Jan to places that Jason never did. This show is really playing up the nerd angle. I bet langan and the rest of the writers were made fun of a lot when they were younger. Well, some things never change I guess.

Marlena finally tells Hope to stop poking John with her silicone sidekicks and Hope and Marlena finally get it all out in the open ending with Hope threating Marlena. If I were Marlena, I would have told her to get a job, but she was saving that one for Brady. How many times has Marlena walked around the corner while those two hugged in the last year and a half anyway? Almost as many times as Steffie has had a cocktail.

Poor Belle is the latest casualty in the personality warpfest. Over the last year or so she has had 100 GOOD reasons to hate the geek, then she picks a totally random act that for once was not NerdBurglar's fault. Whats worse is spoilers indicate that Belle may foil operation operagirl which would really be too bad seeing as she now HATES chloe. Fine!

Another thing that bothers me about the writing is that I am always rooting for the new characters like Barb and Glen while the characters I used to like are lying and plotting and acting like a-holes keeping a father from his child. The other thing about Glen and Barb is that they are supposed to be poor ignorant white trash that middle class Lexie calls 'those kind of people' and they are SO MUCH SMARTER than ANY of the regular characters.

While I'm at it, how on earth did Nicoles divisions sales increase 500 percent while she was lolling around the Kuriakis mansion drinking herself into oblivion, or maybe it was when she was off screwing Rex that all the sales happened. Gawd!!! One week, Misty Circle the abused porn star, the next shes freakin' Helen Gurley Brown. Haha Remember when she was embarrased that people would find out that Taylor was her sister? That's really great writing and character developement Tom. Give yourself a raise. Hey, why don't you ever change Sami's personality? It sure couldn't HURT! 04/10/01
Kate ain't nothin' but a houn' dog.... I thought she was supposed to be a HIGH CLASS hooker, but that was just a lie. We see ole Kate toting Billie and Asstin around dressed trashily and speakin' with a mild southern accent and cuttin' off all her 'ing' words. Good Grief! did she go to charm school in her 40's or something. Well, I guess I should be glad that Kate is paying a price for her stupidity and evil deeds. Sami is still running around like the cat who ate the canary.

Guess what!!! Sami gets her old job back! Nurse Brenda wins 'Idiot of the Decade' for doing that. Stupid Sami calls in sick and vanishes for 6 months. If I was Brenda, I would guess she had been on a long 'crack binge'. Between working and running around scheming I predict Will will spend about 1 hour with her this year.Anyway, the show continues to reward Sami for being stupid and evil, but at least Kate will pay for a week or two. I'm laughing hard at her distress.