Top 20 Things Learned from Secret Santa

1. Gurly Calendars always brings out the Holiday spirit...guys only.

2. The brownish-green stain that Peter will find on his couch the next morning can be blamed on U.S. MarineCorp. Baby Chemical Warfare tatics.

3. The drink is called Tom Collins, not Phil Collins....you stinking drunks.

4. Dave not only won 7 straight games in pool, but Corona froze over.

5. If your going to lose to Dave in pool, lose in style like Peter...Jump the cue ball and hit 'em in the crotch.

6. You want to know how to scare the shit out of 2 Marines.....let Allen hold their baby.

7. Cary, it was just a matter of time before drinking would lead you to hug Dave in front of friends.

8. I don't remember Henda being there, so why was there a puddle around the toliet.

9. Before every drink I mixed, I had Emi personally cough in each cup....gave the drink the extra kick.

10. Hmmmm?....what do you get a chinese guy for Secret Santa....duh, Kung-Fu outfit.

11. I personally agree that Singer and Dave have the same exact haircut.

12. To Anson: Peter personally thanks you for pretending to have Emi be the first one to show up at his house, he felt very comfortable.

13. From Peter: Anson, you F--k!ng Jaboni You dare let Emi pretend to come alone to the Rock's front door, having her run her mouth and say stuff like "Hi, merry x-mas". The Rocks says this is what you can do with your shotgun passenger....You can...oops. Nevermind, i just remembered how the ending to this line went.

14. You do not ever let Neal win the Challenge pot with a pair of Aces on a low hand.

15. Those sugar-bread snacks Maurer handed out, was actually Koko-jerky.

16. For the guys that were in the pictures making lewd abscene gestures while Emi and Trish were sleeping on the couch......those pics will be on Pat's website in about a week.

17. Dave, the pictures with you making lewd abscene sexual gestures while Mark was sleeping on the bed will also be on Pat's website in about a week.

18. Allen, the pictures that we secretly took while you guys were smoking out will be sent to your parents in about a week, if the blackmail money is not received within 2 days.

19. Peter, the picture of you smoking while getting a lap dance from Chim with you wearing nothing but a mistletoe will be sent to Jet as soon as we can figure out what province of Canada that Omaha is in.

20. Out of great demand by the public. The picture of Peter, Mark and Henry wearing their Kung-Fu outfits together are on sale for $49.95...the autograph edition costs $15 more.