TOP 20 THINGS TO KNOW, WHEN PLAYING CARDS WITH YOUR FRIENDS.
  1. When playing a ‘sports’ poker game, always….."BUY IT!"
  2. Never sit next to Dave in Armageddon/Anaconda because he gives you jack shit and likes it.
  3. Always bet that Maurer is trying to ‘river’ a five-card hand. He’s gonna drown one of these days.
  4. Never challenge Cary on the first 2-card low hand in ‘challenge.’ Trust me, he can’t afford to bluff, he has to have Acey-Ducey.
  5. Hope Pat’s girlfriend calls him on his cell while we are playing. He’ll lose.
  6. Never get caught in between Peter’s deadly stare downs with Dave, or else you might turn into stone.
  7. Never, "splash de pot."
  8. If a guy with a Russian accent who is wearing a Red Adidas jumpsuit sits down at the table…."RUN!"
  9. Phrase used whenever everyone has two markers in ‘challenge’, and the pot is hugigantic……."What do you mean protect the pot."
  10. Kick Dave’s ass, when he calls, ‘case of da crazies’…… "what do you mean, your pair of 7’s beats my royal flush"
  11. Anton asks, why Anson is there if he doesn’t play or drink.
  12. Majority of the time, Pat keeps a handgun in the wooden chips case.
  13. The House reserves the right to kick you out the table and premises, if you beat him while he is cheating.
  14. Never beat Maurer too badly on one hand, or else he’ll use one of his hand to beat you badly.
  15. Beer is absolutely necessary in a poker game, not because we’re alkies, but rather that we need markers for ‘challenge’.
  16. At the end of the night, always cash out first because Pat always gets the short end of the stick.
  17. Topic of conversation: "how in the world did you lose your snowboard, Dave?"
  18. We know Singer’s winning, not by how many chips he has on the table, but rather how red his cheeks are.
  19. After all of us Chinese guys look around the table and spot Shaun… "who let the short stubby Japanese guy in?"
  20. The last hand of the night. It’s a huge pot in Hold’em, everyone is already out and it’s only between you and the person across from you. You ‘river’ the ‘straight’ on the last card. You begin to reach for the pot, but he throws down his ‘flush’………. "BREATHE!"