S t a r W h o r e s

=Special Edition=

Cast o’ Characters :

Nestor - "Fruity Wan Kenobi"

Peter - "de Pimperereror"

Jason - "Claire2-D2 (android)"

Allen - "da Fist that binds us all"

Henry - "Fart Vader & Alarcon J-Walker"

Mike - "de Maurier da Wookie bookie"

Cheronne - "Emiperial Stormsleeper"

Anson - "Yogurt"

Zubin - "Zuba da butt"

Charlie - "Gonz Olo"

Joe - "C-Joe’s 3 peeholes (android)"

Shig - "Juke J-Walker"

Dave - "Dabe da officer w/ english accent"

Leanne - "Leanndo DeDuckian"

Candice - "Princess Lay-me"

Claire - "Inhergalactic Bounty wHooker"

Chrissy - "ShE-Wok(Yup Yup)"

Emi - "ShE-Wok(Puk-Puk Pass)

Tricia - "ShE-Wok(WhaaaaBohErrrrrrrrrDoi)

Manoly - "ShE-Wok(BallaBallaDingDong)

Judy - "ShE-Wok(NotApaatiie)

Lising - "ShE-Wok(Pon-pon)

Produced and Written By : @$$ES 0#\Y !N<.

( LEGEND & $W**$}{ )

De Wessels :

Da Frospeeder - vehicle used in combing ice planets or really big afros

MeX-wing - fighter ship usually piloted by an illegal & powered by gas produced after a visit to Taco Bell

Peripheral Falcon - Gonz Olo’s ship, can only detect objects on the side of it & can go ludicrous speed

Fart Destroyer - enemy of mexican foods, big ass wessel w/ smelly fart to thrust ratio

G-wing - only cool characters can fly it like cool homeboys or G’s (Yee-YaaAh!)

Muy-Thai fighter - small quick ships with spicy foods but very weak defenses and a funny rice pot

Muy-Thai Interceptor - just a bigger version of the Muy-Thai fighter w/ spicer weapons and drink.

Muy-Thai Bomber - same thing but with farting capability, also tastes like chicken.

Leannederthal Speeder - Gonz Olo’s 0ld ship, it sucked. It can go from 0 to Bitch in 3.7 seconds.

Speed Racer Bike - bike that goes very fast(animated)

ProLogue:

(scene opens up on Juke’s homeplanet, Jumanjii)

. . . in an inhergalactic nudie baar . . .

Juke : Tell me mo’ about my father o’ Fruity wan?

Fruity : Well, he was a great Rabi Knight. He knew how to use the powers of da Fist and all that other cool stuff. He even once piloted the G-wing!

Juke : Hoooriii Mackeral!!! Not da G-wing!

Fruity : But alas, he turned to da KimtarSyde.

Juke : Why o Fruity wan?

Fruity : Well, mainly cause of the great medical benefits and the pay, but also cause you get to wear da cool mask.

(Gonz Olo & de Maurier da Wookie bookie walk in)

Gonz Olo : I am so beautiful, come de Maurier, take a picture now!

(does his "Arden" pose)

de Maurier : AAARgheawwrea!pptt?@$$

Gonz Olo : speak english you hairy backed, no shower takin’, watnabe smokin’, girl in yo’ head thinkin’, ugly ass mutant idiot!!!

de Maurier : Whaaaaaaa Bou Oorowh Doi...

Gonz Olo : Man your stuuuupid, I have better looking nipples than you (Leanndo walks into the room) My Nipples are as beautiful as all my ladies.

de Maurier : Arraarredaaaaourwnhjdyoubitch

Leanndo : Ookay now, I have been in this scene now two lines and no one has given me any attention already. (Then at the present time the P. Falcon’s A.D.D. alarm sounds a red alert)

de Maurier : Yaaaarrrrrrraaaabitchduckduck.

Gonz olo : Come on, I’m giving you attention. Why don’t you ever believe me?

Leanndo : Well I bet you the, Peripheral Falcon, that if I turned to da Kimtar syde de Pimperorerer would give me a lot of ego attention, plus the benefits on da Kimtar syde are better, with two sequeals and shotgun in the BreastStar piece of shit civic, and I could probably make him quit da ways of the smoka.

Gonz Olo : Man........

de Maurier : arrrwrrrronnnng duck dong

Gonz Olo : ....you never believe me, you guys are all idiots, this is all stupid.

(Inhergalactic Bounty wHoooker walks towards da table and cat fight insues. Leanndo throws a mean left right quackquack combo, but Butterball Fett uses her patented reverse drive to Lawry’s forehead slap. Which knocks out Leanndo. Meanwhile Gonz Olo jumps in the P. Falcon and flies away with de Maurier da Wookie Bookie and their new passengers. Leanndo awakens to find the P. Falcon gone and starts to pout, then walks away without telling anyone where she is going.)

(Traveling in Space between his earz going at ludicrous speed, the P. Falcon with Gonz Olo, de Maurier da Wookie Bookie, and their passengers Fruity Wan, Juke and his sex droids Claire2-D2 and C-Joe’s 3 peeholes.)

Fruity Wan : Are you sure where you are going Gonz Olo because it does not look like we are going to arrive in time for the great feast at the planet of O’ really expensibe prime rib at TowersCloud City.

Gonz Olo : Don’t worry about it, don’t you know I’ve been known to find a ice rink in less then 5 trips around the same sector. Anyways I’m letting de Maurier drive and everyone knows he’s a experienced and skilled driver. I would trust my darling sister’s life in his hands.

de Maurier : aA a afar fsdfjlkjdaaaagreggballs-of-fireaaaaaaa-------------h’mmmm----breath-------breathdaa

Fruity Wan : I would drive myself, but since I am a sensitive Rabi masta and goes the ways of da Fist. I don’t believe in driving at night, and since space is black and is always dark, I never drive.

de Maurier : Arrarrrrrwwooooshpuss------breath...arrrrg

Gonz Olo : See you can trust me, I never get lost (lighting from a far distant planet strikes the P. Falcon) and I never lag.

Juke : OOOh, hey guys lets stop at Inherstellar T.J.’s, c’mon it’s on the way, plweeeeaaasssee.

Claire2-d2 : Forget those cheap ho’s, I know a wHoooker that’s all that and a bag of chips, UUHH, Muy Thai, Crossroads, so I won’t be lonely!

C-Joe’s : No Way! at this one place, D-land, I saw a cute girl named Melissa, and she had hooters out the door, with boots that went all the way up the hymen

like there was no tomorrow. So Claire2-d2 just forget about her, because she always likes to do de Heimlich Maneuver every other day plus a twist of lime.

Claire2-d2 : (in depressed tone) oh, really? I’m gonna go home now. Fruity wan, can you take me home?

Fruity wan : You don’t need to go home now do you?

Claire2-d2 : Well, I need to check in with me dad before he leaves for work.

de Maurier : (at helm) Weeeeeeeeeee, WAAAAAAA, asdklajsldru no license, ererajsl forever, psssst doi.

Gonz Olo : Hoooriii Mackeral, we rost! Make intergalatic UUUiiieeee now!

de Maurier : aarrgrudlkfucUman

Fruity wan : OOOH MY GONG, we are lost. (jumping up and down and clapping)

Claire2-d2 : page Leanndo, ducks always know where to fly. That’s why they migrate so well to North Thor O’ Torrance.

C-Joe’s : What’s Juke doing?.........Oops dumb question.

Juke : (giggling.) In the bathroom, now leave me alone. AAAAhhhh Showgirls, arg arg thats the spot.

Gonz Olo : Well since I can’t find TowersCloudCity, and I’m such a gentleman, we’re rendevous with de Webos at the Planet Lawry’s with valet off Sepulveda.

C-Joe’s : Fruity Wan, you should punish de Wookie for getting us all lost and wasting our time. You must show him de wayz of da Fist.

Fruity wan : (while HUMPING de Maurier) OOOH MY GONG, I feel great disturbance in da Fist, as though a million Wookies screamed out in pain.

de Maurier : arrgh NOOOOOOOO MENOLIKE StopRapeBACKDOORclosed ARRRGG NoGoNOOoLandNOblowJoe, EERRGFFFFyaFagotRAPEyour OWNfingerPLEEZZ I beg UUUU eeeerrrrr NOfistPWEEEESE BARF duckkyPTTTUEEEEquackQuackDie.

Juke : Move over and let me get some of that, it’s better than my hand. O’ Wise SwitchFisting Fruity wan, please teach me the wayz of da Fist.

de Maurier : NOOOOmeFEeelDUUR-dy MakeHURTZstop PaWEEEEZzE meBeg NOOO itzDOUBLEpump, eeeerrrffffMEizMELTINGmeltingMELTING NOOOdorthy heeeelp meee HEEEELPhe I iezgoingSOMEWHEREoverDErainbow, MAKEitSTOP noPLACElikeHOMO, noPLACElikeHOMO, OOHNOOiHaveNO REDshoes WherzWIZARD, OOHnoo HE oil meeeeeee, neeeed Ti Ti for my bunghole, berf barf dye.

C-Joe’s : c’mon de Majerle, take it like a man.

Claire2-d2 : sodomy in the house OOH MY GOSH that isn’t supposed to look like that is it. EEEEUUEWWW. I wish I could do that to ["Whistle"]

Gonz Olo : Man, you guys are all sick idiots, that ‘s just stuupid.

(In another room of Space between his earz, the Emipire start plans of an attack on de Webos in their really cool looking, fully operational low fat milk producing Brest Star.)

de Pimpereror : What is the status the Webos feet and the capture of our young Jay-Walker, Whore Vader.

Fart Vader : Lagging as usually, my pimp.

de Pimpereror : I expect my plans of permitting smoking everywhere in the Universe, including restuarants and all domestic flights in the U.S., to be accomplished. I have Emimently forseen it in my next couple of scenes.

Fart Vader : Waaaaaaaaaaa..?..?...Boh....Errrrr...Doi...defensive slides.....Yeee-Yaaaaah!

Pimpereror : Very well, prepare my Supastar piece of shit Civic Destroyer at once, and have my Emiperial Guards ready at my command.

Col. Dabe : My lord, all the Emiperial Guards and Stormsleepers are asleep.

Fart Vader : You Pig, you have failed me once again. (Using the Brack Syde of da Fist, Fart Vader lifts Col. Dabe up with da Fist by holding him up where the sun don’t shine.)

Emiperial Stormsleeper : zzzZZZZZzzz.......Wow...that’s some serious fisting action!.....zzZZZzzzZzZZ...Emi....aaaaaahhhhhh...zZZzzzz...who touched my breast?

Col. Dabe : (after being rectally punished, on the ground.) Oh my god. Did you just see that. I don’t believe you just did that. Stormsleeper, I need to borrow a couple of cents to call my agent Bagel to complain about my treatment in this scene.

Emiperial Stormsleeper : Sorry dawg or pig, I got’s no endz’.

(At the secret Webo base far far from my house, during the early signing period, Princess Lay-me recruits da help of short haired, because of pictures, ShE-Woks.)

Lay-me : C’mon ya’ll, come get wit me and help me immancipate de Breast STAR.

Yup : yupyupaaPetJayinda@ssC.CfcdkrderrrChurnButter?

Puk : yupaeeyu[pdpssttpoopNILLAdumplingCheckYa?

Whaaa : yuppoeerffPleaBArgainDumpDumpBoh?

Lay-me : Uh, OOKay, you guys are weird. Well anyways here’s de plan(P. Falcon lands and has an accident leaving it with cuts and a big brack eye, heh, heh)

Wow, you guys are here.

Not : Hey do you now when the paatie is over? Get out now! Stop hiding.

Gonz Olo : (doing his pose) I’m here, check out my long whisker hairs.

C-Joe’s : Shoo-BE-Doo-Shu-Shu-Shoo-BE-Doop

Balla : alsdkreimdaMeTiredNow

Pon : You are stupids, can’t you count? Haven’t you passed 1st Grade yet?

Balla : adlfsdoirmdsdormdormI’mTiredMEGOhome&work.

Leanndo : Hey Princess Lay-me, Wanna go the Mighty Ducks game at the Anahymen Pond, I gots 2 tickets, Quack, Quack, dong.

Lay-me : Oh, as lovely as that sounds. No thanks my ugly red headed friend is coming and besides, I don’t like pEople thaT play hockey, unless they also Booodyboard (hint, prom, hint ski lift)

Leanndo : Okay, I see, then I don’t like ‘Em iether, but I like to see da pond, Quack. Well if you don’t wanna go then I’ll go with my uncle Donald and my cousins Hewey, Dewey and Louey, with Gizmo in Duckberg. I have to pick up Launchpad too at the end of the 91 freeway West.

Puk : UaslgotsgregtskykdrudphucbitchyelloDuckMegotGimaGood.

WAAA : alsdkrurndmceNOwayBICShickBRAUN.

C-Joe’s : hey, where is Claire2, dude?

Claire2-d2 : Woe is me, Woe is me, Don’t break me heart, me achey breaky heart....("whistle")

de Maurier : a;sdlrueoicMMMSheWokLOOKyum. .. .aruerecCan’tEATZ myCHEEKSspreadLIKEbutter errfaiefeI kill yaFruity-BURSTdiediedieQUACKD2.

Juke : OOOIII , was good.

Fruity-wan : EEEhh I’ve done betta, hey She-woks, want me to take ya home now, kids?

Juke : shut up, think you can take everybody home cause you now de wayz of de fist, well I know GOd-JI-RA!

(Juke then kicks Fruity’s ass, and everybody starts on de trip to immancipate de BreastSTAR)

(Juke, in search of the truth about his pops, decides to go to the last place he was seen, TowneCentre with Claire2-d2 in his meX-Wing, and being the bad driver that he is he crashes because every body knows that you can’t drive and read porno’s at de same time, ask Zuba de butt)

Juke : EEEE, Claire2 look for de Rabi Masta, but watch out for silver Heimlich mosters, dude.

Claire2-d2 : no way this is where the wHooooker lives so Audi2000, lates.

(Claire2-d2 leaves and never is back in de scene, you know why, heh, heh)

Juke : (while looking at his Penthouse) damn, my page ripped, AAAAARRGGG NO WHY, OH GOD, WHY NOW?

(swinging from tree to tree doing defensive slides, is de Rabi Masta, Yogurt)

Yogurt : Hey boy, why Sad are for you? hHhRrmmm..

Juke : aEEEEA

Yogurt : I see, ripped page of yours did you. Yesyes

Juke : I am enimally angry now please leave me alone.

Yogurt : well, wise man Confucious say; never go sleep with itchy butt should you not, or smelly fingers wake up with you. Eat no talk, men no like, ugly girl no speak, and if fat girl just row row away. Yes..Yes...hHhHrMmm.

Juke : Man, your no help, I need to find the old wise Rabi Masta that can make all 20 foot jumpers at Heritage.

Yogurt : Hrhhhrmm....baller you seek, yes yes...baller I help you find....hrrmm

Juke : do you know this great Rabi Masta, named Yogurt.

Yogurt : Need you not find, baller seek you, me is. yes...yes...hrrmm

Juke : you, haaaa haaaa haaa, your nothing but a junior. ‘96!

Yogurt : hrmmm, ball you give, schooling I give you. yes yes

(with da ball Yogurt does famous and lethal knee dribble crossover then pulling up and nailing basline "J" in Juke’s astonished eyes.)

Yogurt : Yarbles And 1, now believe you must, yes yes.. Hrmmmm

Claire2 : (in the background, hiding) ["whistle,whistle"] maybe he can teach me the wayz of da freethrow.

Juke : I need to know da stoaarrry about my fardtha, and the wayz of de Fist.

Yogurt : Then teach you I will, and stoaarrry I will tell. Your fardtha was once Legendary Rabi Micheal Knight, before da Pimpereror come he did and him tempted your farther fruity delights with did he. Fartharder o yours was excellent Rabi Micheal Knight was he with me also was he. Supa pilot was fatha of yours, and Yogurt shotgun always was Yogurt got. Daughter and son had he. One day Planet HrdTms at, while Yogurt was shotgun was Yogurt, Daughter Lay-me wanted it and with Yogurt fought did they, but alas Yogurt always win, Yee-Yaah! Daughter Lay-me distraught was she and sat in back did she. Fartha o yours upset got he and yelled no mo’ bullshitz foe me durr! Daughter Lay-me distra0ught was she again and out the door cryin ran she did. Then Kimtar Syde he turned, destroy laggers and mo’fos he decree. Round and round he goes who he screams at no wan knows. No more Alarcon J-Walker exist, Fart did Pimpereror make of him, cool Vader just sounds. Yes. Yes. Forever declaire war on Webo ogie monsters he did, Emipire has joined he...hHhhRrmmm.

Juke : Whaaaaaaaaaaaow....that is like some serious "deep shit".

Yogurt : Enfringment Copy Right of Zuba da Butt that quote is. yes.Yes..

Juke : Hoorarii Mackerall!! So you are saying that Fart Vader is my fartharder and my wet dream girl is my sista. Too much to think about right now, must go jack off and ponder about this with my three imaginary friends (Shaq, itchy and scratchy)

Yogurt : Hard you must think, but not too hard or lose pressure blood you will to head. Faint you will. Yes. Yes...hHhrRmmmmm

Juke : Aaaahhhhhhh.......smoke need......finished thinking, Shaq gone to LA, Mugsy back. Yogurt there must be a way to beat the Kimtar Syde without eating their noodles and turn back Fart Vader back to Alarcon J-Walker.

Yogurt : Deep de Pimpereror has him hooked him to nicotine, must Power of Love C. Dion must be sung to win him back.

Juke : What if I don’t all the words too da damm song. There must be another ".....of Love" song I can use.

Yougurt : (dying voice) Then failed have we.....hhHrRmm.......unless......there...is....... ....a......n......o.....th.............eerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... ...... ... berf barf dye. (fades away like a legendary turn around jumper. Juke returns to Webo Feet preparing to jump into ludicrous speed to attack BrestStar. Dramatic music begins to play. "Crossroads")

A c t WAN O v e r