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REALLY IMPORTANT STUFF...my kids have taught me


Plain underwear is boring.

Watching ants is fun!

You can either keep pedaling, get off the bike or fall over.

It's more fun to color outside the lines

Shortcuts aren't always


The first sip is the best.

Don't run away from home in the middle of a storm.

When you're lost, it's better to stand still than follow the wrong path.

Dirt is only considered bad when it's not on the ground.

Your echo will always answer.

You don't have to own the swing to enjoy it.


Imaginary friends can be the best.

Count the money in your piggy bank once a week

Don't pop someone else's bubble

If it's in your way, climb over it.

Children's tea parties are more fun than grown-up's tea parties.

Sometimes it's the littlest kid who fights hardest.




When in doubt order a hot dog.

If a lady has a black thing on her tooth, tell her.

Whether you're in or out, you usually want to be the other.

If it tastes good, it probably isn't good for you.

Fresh air is good for you.

Never, ever, miss the fireworks on the Fourth of July.

Silence can be an answer.


Getting lost teaches you how to read a map.

You have to eat a lot of cereal before you find the free toy.

Ten minutes is short if it's a recess and long if it's a punishment.

It's hard not to pick at it.

Don't save time - use it up.

Even babies like to grab for things just beyond their reach.

Know just when to jump off the swing.

If you're going to laugh, laugh out loud.




You can't always be first.

Pick up your little sister when she falls down.

You can try on your fathers shoes, but you can't walk very well in them.

Make peace

As soon as you tell a secret, it's not one.

Red, white, and blue always go together.

The bad guy doesn't always wear a black hat.

Try not to forget your dreams.

Sometimes you have to scream on the way down.

It's hard to sleep on a strange pillow.

Sometimes tomorrow takes a really long time to come.


These were gleened from the wonderful book entitled REALLY IMPORTANT STUFF MY KIDS HAVE TAUGHT ME, By Cynthia Copeland Lewis




Things
~Grandma~
Wonders About?


DO VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

WHY ISN'T PHONETIC SPELLED THE WAY IT SOUNDS?

WHY ARE THERE INTERSTATE HIGHWAYS IN HAWAII?

WHY ARE THERE FLOTATION DEVICES UNDER AIRPLANE SEATS INSTEAD OF PARACHUTES?

WHY ARE CIGARETTES SOLD AT GAS STATIONS WHEN SMOKING IS PROHIBITED


HAVE YOU EVER IMAGINED A WORLD WITH NO HYPOTHETICAL SITUATIONS?

HOW DOES THE GUY WHO DRIVES THE SNOWPLOW GET TO WORK?

IF 7-11 IS OPEN 24 HOURS A DAY, 365 DAYS A YEAR, WHY DO THEY HAVE LOCKS ON THE DOORS?

IF NOTHING EVER STICKS TO TEFLON, HOW DO THEY MAKE TEFLON STICK TO THE PAN?

IF BUTTERED TOAST ALWAYS LANDS BUTTERED SIDE DOWN AND A CAT ALWAYS LANDS ON ITS FEET, WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU TIED A PIECE OF BUTTERED TOAST TO THE BACK OF A CAT AND DROPPED IT?

IF YOU ARE DRIVING AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT AND YOU TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS, WHAT HAPPENS?

YOU KNOW HOW MOST PACKAGES SAY "OPEN HERE". WHAT SHOULD YOU DO IF THE PACKAGE SAYS "OPEN SOMEWHERE ELSE?

DO THEY REALLY PROSECUTE FOLKS WHO REMOVE THOSE TAGS ON PILLOWS?

WHY DO WE ADVERTISE PRODUCTS FOR FREE ON OUR T-SHIRTS AND THEN PAY TO ADVERTISE SOMETHING WE WANT TO SELL?




WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE DOTS ON THE KEYPAD OF THE DRIVE-UP ATM?

WHY DO WE DRIVE ON PARKWAYS AND PARK ON DRIVEWAYS?

WHY IS IT THAT WHEN YOU TRANSPORT SOMETHING BY CAR IT'S CALLED A SHIPMENT BUT WHEN YOU TRANSPORT SOMETHING BY SHIP IT'S CALLED CARGO?

YOU KNOW THAT LITTLE INDESTRUCTIBLE BLACK BOX THAT IS USED ON AIRPLANES-WHY CAN'T THEY MAKE THE WHOLE PLANE OUT TOF THE SAME SUBSTANCE?

WHY IS IT THAT WHEN YOU'RE DRIVING AND LOOKING FOR AN ADDRESS, YOU TURN DOWN THE RADIO?

WHY DON'T SHEEP SHRINK IN THE SUN WHEN THEY'RE WET AFTER A RAIN?



~NEVER SAY NEVER~


"Never accept a drink from a urologist."

"Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with something much bigger and heavier."

"Never insult seven men if you'er only carrying a six shooter."

"Never judge a man by the opinion his wife has of him."

"Never eat Chinese food in Oklahoma."

"Never put off till tomorrow what you can get someone else to do today."

"Never take a job where the boss calls you 'Babe.'"

"Never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television."




~WHEN YA GOTTA GO...


A quick all purpose language lesson. Now, no matter where you're traveling, you'll be able to ask the essential question: "Where is the bathroom?" Ok, now repeat after me...

Spanish: Donde esta el bano?

Danish: Hvor er toilette?

Japanese: Torie we doko desu ka?

Russian: Gde zdes tualet?

Italian: Dove e ilbagno?

Yiddish: vu iz der bodtsimer?

German: Wo ist die Toilette?

Tagalog: Nasaan ang kasilyas?

Estonia: Kus on valjakaik?

If this doesn't get ya where ya want to go, try a bush or a tree!


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