}}}Below{{{My OwnWere they coming? I suspect they were planning to. I hid. Again. I don't know if they were here. He might have gotten tired of looking. I was gone, hid so well in the dark shadows, he didn't even bother. But they will be back for me. I know. But I'm too tired to run So I buried myself within myself within myself folded upon myself. Without you. They want you too. But that is beyond my mortal control. Though I love you. And I love you. But I can't help being afraid Were they here again? Yes I saw him and he didn't try to find me I hid. I was gone. But I know I do know he will bring them all back Again. And I can hide no more. [march 24, 2000] Needs he beats the pain deep to my mind; i envelope everything punishing don't make him go away. this is what i need - deceitful eyes to succumb to a lie that this is not pain i know it's pain. i'm numb. where did my mind go? no, i'm indifferent. i don't care. all that i need is his pain this demon i claim as my very own. allow me to savor him and his pain want this to not go away he is only doing this because he cares. [march 26, 2000]
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