My Own

Were they coming?
I suspect they were planning to.

I hid.

I don't know if they were here.
He might have gotten tired

of looking.
I was gone, hid so well in the dark

shadows, he didn't even bother.
But they will be back for me.

I know.

I'm too tired to run
So I buried myself within myself

within myself
folded upon myself.

Without you. They want you too.
But that is beyond

my mortal control.

I love you.
And I love you.

I can't help being afraid

Were they here again?

I saw him and he didn't try
to find me

I hid.
I was gone.

But I know
I do know he will bring them all back

And I can hide no more.

[march 24, 2000]


he beats the pain deep
to my

mind; i envelope everything

don't make him go away.
this is what i need -

deceitful eyes to
succumb to

a lie that this is not pain
i know it's pain.

i'm numb.
where did my mind go?

no, i'm indifferent.
i don't care. all that i

is his pain this demon

i claim as my very own.
allow me to savor him

and his pain
want this to not go away

he is only doing this
because he cares.

[march 26, 2000]