Chapter 1
"Justin, please, don't do this to me......" I said as I stared into his piercing blue eyes.
"Baby, please.........you know I love you...."
"Justin, no......we've gone through this. I can't fully and completely love you with all of my heart when I only see you 2 weeks a year......"
"Jayme, please.....I want to be with you more than anything....I love you so much...."
I thought about that for a short moment.
"Justin, I can't do it. I love you, but you have obligations.....certain obligations that I can't prevent...." I said as a tear ran down my face.
"Don't do this to me....don't do this to us, Jayme...." he said as he took his forefinger and wiped the tear away.
"I have to, Justin...." I whispered as I walked out the door.
That was a little over a year ago. I hadn't seen Justin since except for on TV. Even then, it made tears well up in my eyes. All of my friends say that the break-up must have crushed him because he had lost something about him. His spark. I saw a man who was free from me. As I was free from him.
We had just talked on the phone 2 weeks before as I drove down that familiar road to his house. We decided to bury the hatchet and become friends again.
As I pulled in the driveway, my heartbeat began to race. I gave my pulled-up hair a quick look before I got out of the car. I became more and more nervous as I walked up the pathway. Then, I knocked on the door. As it opened, I gasped, not knowing exactly what to expect.
"Jayme!" JC said.
"Jc, hey! I missed you guys....." I said as I gave him a hug.
I walked into the living room to see Joey, Lance, and Chris all sitting on the couch.
"Hey, guys!" I said.
"Jayme, you cut your hair......I love it.." Lance said as he gave me a hug.
I looked around, but I couldn't find Justin anywhere.
"Is, uh, Justin....here?" I said.
"Uh, yeah.......he must be in his room doing something........he's always up there..." Jc said.
"Yeah, we have to go anyway..." Chris said.
"It was nice seeing yall again...." I said as I gave them hugs and watched them walk out the door.
I climbed the stairs wearily not knowing what I was getting myself into.
I knocked on his door, and I heard some kind of music in the background.
"Come in!" he said.
I knew he wasn't expecting me. I wasn't even supposed to be there until that night.
I opened the door slowly to see him sitting on the bed with his back facing me. The last time we had seen each other was that day we said our goodbyes.
I gasped at the sight of him. "Yo, JC man, this CD......." he said as he turned around.
I smiled as my tears became visible. "Jayme...." he whispered.
"Justin..." I said as I wiped a tear away.
He got up and approached me. "You've changed......" I said.
"You haven't...you're still as wonderful and beautiful as I can remember..." he said.
"Well, are you just going to stand there or give me a hug?" I said as I smiled.
He extended his arms as I wrapped myself in them. His body felt so familiar and safe against mine. It was the feeling I had never felt from anyone else.
As we separated, I stared into his eyes. They were the same mystifying baby blues that he had always had. But, this time...the fun and laughter in them was gone.
"So, um.....do you want something to drink? From South Carolina to Florida is quite a long drive...." he said as he rubbed his eyes.
"I'd like that, thank you...."
As we walked downstairs, I could feel his eyes never leaving me. We walked into the kitchen and I took my usual seat on the stool.
"I'll have a...." I began.
"Dr. Pepper, no ice....you really haven't changed, have you?" he said.
I laughed. "I guess not..."
We sat down and talked briefly about the things that had happened in the past year. But, there was one subject that we avoided. Our love for one another. Was it still there after all this time?
I reached into my purse and pulled out my grape lip balm that I had wore since I was 13 years old.
"I can't believe you still wear that stuff....." he said as he took a seat beside me.
"Well, some things never change....." I said.
"No, they don't...." he said.
We were so close to each other. Finally, he reached in and touched his lips with mine. His lips were so familiar, like I could have kissed them the day before.
"I'm sorry, Jayme...." he said as he pulled away.
"It's okay......" I said as I put my head down.
"Some things truly do never change...." I said to myself.
I sat at the counter feeling really awkward. I had just kissed my ex-boyfriend. That was not supposed to happen. Was it? I didn't think so, at least....
"I'm really sorry, Jayme....I don't know what came over me....." he said apoligetically.
"It's okay.....we're just friends, nothing more, okay?" I said as I stared into his eyes.
He closed them for a brief moment, and them opened them and forced a smile. "Yeah, just friends...." he said.
That night, I sat on the couch watching TV with Justin. "Justin....I'm bored..." I said in a pouty voice.
"I know....me too.....what should we do?" he said.
"Let's go to a club or something..." I said.
"Young lady, you're only 18...."
"Well, so are you!" I said.
"True, but I have connections....." he said with a little wave of the head that always drove me wild.
"Well, pretty boy....tonight, your connections are officially MY connections....I'm going to get ready..." I said as I ran upstairs.
I put on my cute blue dress and took my hair down and let it lay gracefully on my shoulders.
When I came down, I walked slowly into the living room where he was. He looked up at me and his mouth opened slightly.
"You ready?" I said.
"Uh, yeah.........let's go....." he said.
As we were in the car, there wasn't much said.
"Well, this is just like old times, Justin. Do you ever miss the fun we used to have?"
"Yeah, I miss it........you were everything to me............you still are...." he said.
I tensed up. Thank goodness we arrived at the club.
As we walked in, Justin said something to the bouncer before we were permitted to go.
We danced all night. Just before we were about to leave, Christina Agulera's "I Turn To You" came on.
"One more dance...." he said as he grabbed my arm.
I rested my head on his shoulder as I always did. I was feeling something for Justin that I hadn't ever felt before.
Just friends, Jayme...you and him are just friends
The closeness was so natural. Like we belonged there from the start. I looked up at him and just gazed into his eyes. Then, we moved closer together.
Not again...you already kissed him once today, not again......please...
Our lips brushed against one another before he kissed me in the most gentle way.
It sent chills up my spine. As we walked outside, we stood there silent.
"Justin, I have to tell you something...."
"No, me first....I feel something for you after all this time. You broke my heart and when I saw you tonight, all my emotions came rushing back in a fiery storm.....I still love you with all of my heart...."
"Justin, I can't do this....."
"Do what?"
"Get involved with you again. You are the sweetest, most romantic person I've ever met. But, what makes you think that a year could change everything between us?"
"It has.....we can work around all the problems, please...."
"No, Justin, we can't. I can't...."
"Do you even want to try?" he said with pain in his voice.
"More than anything, believe me....I just, can't Justin......" I said as a stinging tear rolled down my face.
Chapter 2