Jaxis: Post Wedding Scenes

Jaxis' Post Wedding Scenes
Some of the most important parts of Jaxis' Post-Wedding conversations.
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July 6, 1999 ---- Jax: Well, I certainly am. I can't wait to see Edward choke on his doughnut when he hears that you and Chloe are getting married. -- Alexis: They don't eat doughnuts, Jax. They eat people. -- Jax: Well, I stand corrected. ---- Jax: If Alexis and I hurry now we can get to my lawyer's office and have our marriage annulled. -- Alexis: Was it something I said? -- Jax: "I do". ---- Jax: You know, you people never cease to amaze me. You actually assume that woman knows more about my marriage that I do. -- Gertrude: Is there anything I said that isn't true? -- Jax: Yes, quite a bit actually. You see, Alexis and I were stranded in the Sahara together for three days. We learned a lot about each other. -- Alexis: There is nothing like the fear of death to jump-start a relationship. -- Jax: Yes, that's right and when we returned to Port Charles, we didn't realize how attached we'd become. And eventually the attraction became too great to resist. ---- Jax: Well, it's funny you mention it because we've been enjoying the honeymoon so much we haven't discussed it. ---- Jax: Actually she couldn't have come at a better time. She's kept us from making a serious strategic error. -- Alexis: Which would be? -- Jax: Having our marriage annulled. ----Jax: Are you ready to leave, Sweetheart? ---- Jax: Newlyweds usually live together. If Edward spots us living apart, we'll blow this whole thing. -- Ned: Okay. Jax has two bedrooms. You'll move in there. -- Jax: My thoughts exactly. Just to keep it realistic I expect you to send us a wedding gift. Nothing extravagant of course but, well, a case of champagne is always appropriate.

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July 7, 1999 ---- Alexis: Push. Push. To your -- to your right out here. Push. -- Jax: Oay. Hey, do you want to drive? -- Alexis: No, I don't. I want a divorce. ----Jax: Oh. Should we go back outside and I'll carry you over the threshold? -- Alexis: No, it would be too obvious. He would know that. Why am I whispering? -- Jax: It's kind of romantic, you know. -- Alexis: Where's the guest bedroom? -- Jax: Take the master. It's fine. ---- Alexis: He's right. Edward sent the basket -- Jax: Yes, and my wife and I are delighted. ---- Jax: I don't think Gertrude is going to be peeking in any windows. -- Alexis: Well, you can't be too careful, especially if you want people to believe I actually married you. -- Jax: What, the chapel of bells meant nothing to you? -- Chloe: Gertrude will quiz every housekeeper that comes in here. Trust me, I know how she thinks. She will expect you to have your stuff all over the penthouse. -- Jax: That's not going to be a problem. ---- Jax: With my wife in my guest room? ---- Chloe: I do admire you quick thinking, especially at that unusual wedding chapel. -- Alexis: Yeah, he's great in a crunch. -- Ned: Chloe, Let me ask you something. How many times are you going to get to pull off something like this? -- Alexis: Yeah, it's fun! Think of it as an adventure! Did I say that? -- Jax: Isn't she a fine wife? -- Alexis: All right. Here's the thing. You need to stay married at least a year to satisfy the will. -- Jax: Yeah. And that will be the difficult part -- Alexis: But Jax and I don't. We can just fake it, get the whole thing annulled like we had planned, right? -- Jax: Right ----Jax: Now, who says Alexis and I didn't want to get married anyway? -- Alexis: We were desperate to get married. -- Jax: That's right. Can't live without her. -- Alexis: Well, marriages crash all the time without any warning at all. -- Jax: That's right. So all we have to do is crash this one. -- (Jax and Alexis both crash there helicopters using there hand then laugh and do a high five) ---- Alexis: We fell in love in the desert, shifting sand -- Chloe: The blistering sun -- Ned: Sunstroke! Just like I always said. -- Alexis: We clung to each other only to realize that once we returned to the real world -- Jax: But we've been back in the real world for quite some time, you know. -- Chloe: But you met secretly. -- Jax: Ah.. And Ned never caught on. -- Alexis: We were very sly. -- Jax: Not that we had to be. -- Chloe: You were madly in love, and nothing could keep you apart. -- Alexis: All right, all right. So, we'll just stick to the letter of the law. You have to stay married for at least a year, right? A traditional wedding, family and friends. Jax and I are beside the point. -- Jax: Yeah. -- Chloe: But Gertrude still believes -- suspects -- that Ned and I went to Las Vegas to get married. -- Alexis: She probably still suspects that the Reverend U.I. Love flew in from Roswell, too. -- Jax: What, you mean he didn't? -- Ned: So what we need is a really convincing breakup. -- Jax: I'm with you. Something big and loud and public. -- Ned: Hmm. We can always count on you for the tasteful approach. -- Jax: Excuse me. Who came up with the Elvis chapel, okay? Yeah! ---- Alexis: Do you thing the room service guy was suspicious? -- Jax: Why? Because I ordered a romantic dinner for myself and my lovely wife? -- Chloe: But half a cow? -- Jax: Well, she needs the energy. -- Alexis: Mmm. This is really good -- nice and rare. -- Ned: Once a Cassadine -- Alexis: That's Jacks to you, pal. ---- Jax: Well, see I can see why you'd dump Ned for me, but why would you, why would you want to dump me? -- Alexis: You snore. -- Jax: No I don't. I do not snore. -- Ned: You won't take out the trash. -- Jax: Trash takes itself out, in case you didn't know. -- Ned: I didn't know that. -- Jax: Well, now you know. -- Alexis: You're more in love with the deal that you are with me. -- Ned: Keep going -- Alexis: You stay up all night glued to stock reports. You're obsessed with rebuilding your empire. ---- Jax: So were back to my idea -- something big, public, and very loud. -- Chloe: It could be very Scott and Zelda, screaming but very romantic. You know, nothing mean, nothing too terrible, just tragic, doomed. -- Alexis: I like it! -- Ned: It's about money. It's all about money. You're after the Cassadine fortune. -- Alexis: Which I already walked away from. -- Ned: Jax doesn't know that, though. -- Jax: And I don't believe it. -- Alexis: I was after your money. -- Jax: Even while we were in the desert? -- Alexis: Cold, but true. -- Chloe: Gertrude would believe that. -- Ned: You left me for money? -- Alexis: Sorry -- Chloe: And then one night, in a public place it -- you look into each other's eyes, and you see the truth. All the passion, all the love ignites, and things get out of control, and you have a terrible row!! -- Jax: Yes! We have this big blowout! -- Alexis: This is fun!! -- Chloe: And you say terrible things that you don't mean and they're all true. It was a big mistake, It's over!!! -- Alexis: Ladies and Gentlemen, I think we have a plan!!!

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July 8, 1999 ---- Jax: Hello, wife. -- Alexis: Hello, husband. ---- Alexis: Sorry I missed you this morning. I had a settlement consult. -- Jax: How was sleeping in my bed last night? -- Alexis: It's not going to happen again. You're getting your own bed back, and I'm taking the guest room. It's bad enough you got stuck marrying me. You shouldn't get thrown out of your bed, too. -- Jax: It's only for a couple of more nights. Aunt Gertrude made a dinner reservation at the Port Charles Grille tomorrow evening. -- Alexis: Oh. So that's a good place we can stage our fight, realize that the whole thing was a mistake. -- Jax: Guess I was hoping we could perhaps get it out of the way before Jerry gets back from his business trip. -- Alexis: All right, let's see..... Tomorrrow night I have a pro bono consult scheduled. I bet I can move that up. Sure. Friday night works for me. "End marriage." -- Jax: Cool. I got to go. (kissing her ) Have a nice day. -- Alexis: You, too, dear. ---- Stefan: All right . . . but be warned, Alexis. One move on your part towards the estate, in concert with your spouse or not, and I'll see to it that you are dealt with. -- Jax: That's no way to speak to my wife. -- Jax: Alexis warned me about bizarre Cassadine traditions, but ceremonial bullying of the wife . . . That doesn't fly here. -- Stefan: Well, one becomes inert to our tribal customs, given time. Will it be a quick takeover attempt or will you drag it out? -- Alexis: Ignore him . . . He's obsessed. He thinks our marriage is all about his precious legacy. -- Jax: Isn't everything? . . . Don't you believe in love Stefan? -- Stefan: You've been warned. -- Alexis: Why does his low opinion of me still hurt? -- Jax: Because he's family. -- Alexis: No, I extricated myself from the mother pod. And I'm going to believe that, darn it. Why are you back? -- Jax: Well, V left a message that 98 Degrees has decided to stay on an extra day at Jake's. So I thought if I don't take you out on one date during this marriage, well, our credibility could be called into question. Would you like to go? -- Alexis: Only if you don't tell anyone if you hear me singing along. -- Jax: Ah. You like this band, huh? Well, then. I have a date with my wife. -- Alexis: Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

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July 9, 1999 ---- Alexis: Can I just ask you one question? Do you have to say that I'm marrying you for your money? -- Jax: Why? What's wrong with it? -- Alexis: I just wouldn't do that. -- Jax: Oh, but Gertrude doesn't know that. -- Alexis: But this is so hackneyed. I mean, how much money do you really have? Okay, a fortune. But it's not as much as you used to have. Why can't you say that you are marrying me for my money? Everyone knows you were going after the Cassadine fortune. -- Jax: Alexis, make up your mind. Am I marrying you for your name, your social profile, or your professional savvy? It doesn't matter. Just pick one or two. -- Alexis: If we say looks and charm, will people just laugh? -- Jax: Looks and charm it is. Nevermind how shallow it will make me look. -- Alexis: And I can say that I married you for your money, only to find out that you were a scheming, egotistical bore. -- Jax: No, that'll never fly. -- Alexis: What? The scheming and egotistical? -- Jax: No one's going to believe that I'm a bore. -- Alexis: Shall I ask for a show of hands? -- Jax: Yeah. Look, why can't you just stick with what we came up with first -- two people who fell in love on a desert island , minus the island. And the pressures of day-to-day life back in society just drove us apart. -- Alexis: That does have a tried and true ring to it. -- Jax: I mean, Gertrude bought the wedding, so she'll buy the desert island and the annulment. -- Alexis: But did she buy the wedding? -- Jax: We're going to have to make it look realistic, like we're breaking up like real, live married couples. No holds barred. To my whirlwind wife. None of the awful things I am about to say about you are remotely true. -- Alexis: And I can honestly say that there's no on I'd rather be divorcing than you. -- Jax: Cheers. (they both laugh) ---- Alexis: Are there cockroaches? -- Jax: Not in the penthouse. -- Alexis: Then I want the penthouse in the settlement. -- Jax: There is no such thing as an annulment settlement. -- Alexis: Excuse me, but who's the attorney here? -- Jax: What? Excuse me. How did you put up with her, huh? We're here to eat. Please order something. -- Alexis: In a minute. -- Chloe: I'm sorry I put everybody in such a bad temper by being so late. -- Ned: Oh, no, no, no. They're fine. See, we're actually doing it right now. This is why we are here, remember? -- Chloe: Oh, we started. -- Ned: Yes. -- Chloe: Oh. -- Ned: We're in love. -- Chloe: Yes. -- Jax: Now what? -- Alexis: I'm checking my messages. It'll only take a minute. -- Jax: Oh, come on, Alexis! You did that, like, an hour ago. -- Alexis: I'm negotiating for clients. It's moving very quickly. -- Jax: Well, right now you are having dinner with your newlywed husband, okay? Thank you. -- Alexis: Excuse me, but did your mother forget to tell you you're not the center of the universe? -- Jane: You know, I think I did forget. -- John: Jerry, you were right. She's obviously perfect for him. I'm John Jacks. Congratulations. -- Jax: Dad. Lady Jane. What are you doing here? -- Jane: Well, now, we think we're entitled to the acccusing tone of voice. You have gone and done it again. Despite swearing you never would, you've run off and gotten married in secret. Well, we're all a bit older and wiser and more tempered, one hopes, so I'll be on my better behavior if you will. -- John: I, for one, wasn't surprised in the slightest. -- Alexis: That your son married a complete stranger? -- John: Crash your chopper in the Sahara with a woman and you get to see what she's made of. -- Jax: Yeah, that's true. -- John: Unless she doesn't survive and the vultures get her. Then you really get to see what she's made of. -- Jax: Dad, please. -- Jane: Oh, John. Oh, but you look wonderful. You both look wonderful, so you're obviously happy, which we approve of. And you were going to tell us eventually? -- Jax: Uh, actually, we were going to make it a surprise. We were just going to drop in, see you up in Alaska. Obviously, I have my big brother's big mouth to thank for ruining the surprise, Although I have no idea how he found out. -- Jerry: What's that on your hand, Jax? Surely, anybody could've seen that at Jake's the other night. -- John: When did this all happen? I want details. -- Chloe: A few days ago in Las Vegas. I'm sorry, I'm Chloe Morgan. -- Jax: That's Ned's fiance. -- Chloe: That's right. -- Jane: Ooh, love must be in the air. -- Chloe: Yes. And I'm sorry. I'm the one responsible for your son so suddenly getting married. I just had to go to Las Vegas that night. -- Jane: Oh, I see. -- John: If we have you to thank for pushing Jax into marriage with this splendid woman, so be it. But do you think you would mind if we -- Jane: Obviously, you've finished dinner. -- Jax: No, we just got our menus. -- Jane: Oh, Ned, I'm sure you'll understand. We were looking forward to getting to know our new daughter-in-law. -- Ned: Of course, of course. Yes, we'll call you tomorrow and reschedule. -- Alexis: Are you sure? -- Jax: You know what? That's really not necessary. -- Ned: Oh, I think it is. -- Jerry: Oh, I agree -- so we can introduce you to the joys of being a member of the Jacks family. How many embarrassing stories about Jax's childhood do you think we can squeeze into one evening? -- John: Oh. Thirty-five, forty? -- Ned: I think that's our cue to go. Good night, everyone. -- John: Good night. -- Jane: Good night. Thank you. ---- John: Good, sturdy shoulders. -- Jax: Oh, Dad, she's not a side of beef. Come on. -- John: Pay no attention to him. We want to know everything about you Alexis. For instance, how do you like children? -- Alexis: Grilled or deep-fried. -- Jane: Well, anyway, there he was, lost in the middle of the outback, all, what, 44 inches of him, brown as a berry and happy as any eight-year-old could be. -- Jax: The moral of most of their stories is that it's not safe to leave me unattended. -- Jane: No, the moral of the story is you always did what makes you happy and happy is what we always wanted you to be, and we're so pleased that he's found that with you. -- Jax: I really am happy. It's a good day to have you here fussing over me. -- John: I'm so sorry you lost your parents so young. I hope you'll think of us as your family from now on. -- Alexis: Thank you. That would be very easy to do. ----Jerry: Jax and I have always share everything. -- Jax: Oh, get out of here. Go on, take a hike. -- Alexis: They love you a lot. -- Jax: Yes, they do. -- Alexis: All right. So now we need a plan. What? -- Jax: You know, it's my own fault for not telling Jerry right away. Gertrude was sitting there when my parents walked in. There was no way I was going to be able to tell them everything. -- Alexis: Jax, I understand. -- Jax: No, you don't. See, I'm making the same excuses as they try to make for me. I'm saying that everything I did is for someone else's good, every lie I ever told was unintentional. And why aren't you telling me I don't get to make that kind of defense when I wouldn't allow it to the people I love the most? Now, you were there after Brenda died. You saw how I treated them. -- Alexis: So, you ate a little humble pie for dessert. Regret isn't always such a bad thing. -- Jax: I cut myself off from them because they didn't meet my high moral standards. My happy childhood, my charmed life -- none of that counted. Only the fact that they lied. I mean, I'm such a hypocrite. -- Alexis: That's not true. And if it makes your heart a little larger, a little roomier, it's a gift, isn't it? -- Jax: We were such a happy family. -- Alexis: So I gather. Jax: We haven't been that in a long time, you know, so would it be so wrong to let them have this visit? -- Alexis: I was hoping we wouldn't have to disillusion them right away, and not just for their sake. I've never been a part of anything like the Jacks family before, and I wouldn't mind a little longer taste of it. -- Jax: You know, I'm really glad I married you.

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July 13, 1999 ---- Alexis: You have to hide us. -- Ned: What happened to you? -- Alexis: My mother-in-law. -- Alexis: It had to have been about four o'clock in the morning. -- Jax: It was six! -- Alexis: All of a sudden, there was pounding on the door, and there she was. -- Chloe: Who? -- Alexis: Jax's mother. -- Jax: She wanted to take her new daughter-in-law on a get-to-know-you hike. -- Chloe: How sweet! -- Ned: Hasn't she ever heard of a get-to-know-you lunch? -- Jax: Hey, she wanted it to be special. -- Alexis: Oh, it was special, all right. Twelve miles, uphill, through terrain a mountain goat would find challenging. ----Alexis: I mean, don't get me wrong. I adore your mother, I do. She's lovely, and she's intelligent. Ow! ---- Alexis: She just has this penchant for blazing her own trails. ---- Alexis: Lady Jane pretty much stuck to one subject. -- Ned: Oh, let me guess, Jax. -- Alexis: His first steps, his first words, his favorite foods, from ages seven to fourteen. ---- Alexis: He loved moose burgers. -- Chloe: What? -- Alexis: As a young man, he ate moose burgers at least once a day. -- Ned: See, that's information I could have lived without. -- Jax: Hey, have you ever had a moose burger? -- Ned: No, and don't offer to have one flown in for me, either. -- Chloe: I've had rhinoceros burgers, in Mozambique. I did a dress for the first lady. -- Alexis: I'm sure I'll learn more about this tomorrow -- she's promised to fill me in on his late teen years when we go boating. She's not gonna make me row, is she? -- Jax: Oh, no, you don't row a kayak. You paddle it. ---- Jax: Hey, what am I supposed to do while you're massaging my wife? -- Ned: Eat your heart out.

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July 16, 1999 ---- Jax: Hello, wife. -- Alexis: Hello, husband. -- Jax: Oh, don't let me intrude on your extra-marital affair. I was just looking for someone you know.

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