This report just in from tech support:

      While returning to my desk after a routine call, a young lady flagged me down and asked for help.

      "My floppy drive won't work, can you help me ?"

      I told her I'd take a look and proceeded over to her machine, where I found shredded up clear plastic Baggie-like stuff hanging out of her 3.5" floppy drive. While I spent the next 20 minutes getting her disk out and digging out the plastic, I noticed two guys in the corner of the office trying awful hard to keep a straight face.

      Suspecting some mischief, I asked her how the plastic got into the drive.

      "Oh, you mean the condom!"

      "Condom???"

      "Yes, John & Dave over there told me to always put a condom on my disk before inserting it, to prevent catching viruses"

      By this point John & Dave were roaring and it was all I could do to keep from joining them. The "condom" turned out to be a standard 3.5" plastic sleeve.

      I delicately explained to her that a practical joke had been played and she shouldn't do that anymore, when she asked (as serious as could be)

      "Does that mean I don't have to stroke it ten times or blow on it either???"